#idk what i'm talking about anymore i have assignments to do bye

[noxtivagus]

thinking some more before i. be productive 🫣

[hajimine]

dear hottie lex :D ㅡ it is, in fact, me again 😫👍🏼 let me tell u about the presentation 😐 a classmate of mine had the exact same quote i planned on using (which i still plan on using lmao) but like we never talked or sum and her turn with the presentation was right before me and our concepts were kinda similar, so i'm slightly concerned that people are gonna think i copied her?? 😀 anyways we had 8 mins left and literally RIGHT BEFORE IT WAS MY TURN my teacher goes "i have to leave earlier today..." and i was like bruh r u kidding me 🤡 i was SO READY PLS i usually hate presentations but i was even excited :// now i have to do it on thursday 🙄✋🏼 anyways i still have that one assignment due later today, a mindmap of the things we did in the last weeks like I DONT REMEMBER OR UNDERSTAND A THING 😻👍🏼 how great life is isnt it 🤲🏻 anyways is it legal to throw a chair or sum at your teacher?? bc that one teacher 😀😀😀😀 WHY AM I ONLY TALKING ABOUT SCHOOL PLSHSJS MY ASS IS SO ANNOYING 😫 anyway lemme grab some water rq, i hope u do too 😌 i honestly just had to rant a little im so sorry 🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️ i hope you've had a great day so far though!! and if you didn't drink some water, please go n get some soon 😌🤲🏻 and don't forget to eat too!! imma finish that episode and then try n do that assignment 🙄 kith kith for u hottie mwah feel hugged <3 ㅡ best regards, 🐉 anon

my dearest 🐉 anon,

oh worm i hope the teacher’s not gonna think u copied her 👩‍🦯 esp bc youre doing it on a later date </3 but goodluck for thursday!! you’re gonna ace it i know it in my heart 🙇🏻‍♀️ JEHSIAJ did u finish the mindmap yet? 😭 i get what u mean bye i cant even retain memory properly anymore ajshjsns it’s so bad 🥲 ok pls don’t throw a chair at your teacher u can just bite them instead (/j !!!) WAIT ok very short story but back in hs one of my friends was the type to get into fights a lot and he threw a table at my other classmate once🧎🏻‍♀️he broke it and had to pay double + he got suspended BYE (i promise im not a troublemaker ajhsjabs im not involved in my friend’s shenanigans 👹) anyways- dw abt it!! i get how frustrating school can be so you’re always welcome to scream at me about your teachers etc 😁🙏🏼 also i finally watched the new aot episode and young zeke looks tasty 🥸 i still dont like him tho he has committed way too many sins bye </3 my day has been pretty okay,, i took a nap bc uni was giving me a headache but other than that it’s pretty chill,, i did a lot of things today tho so that felt realy good >:)) it’s almost 12am but i still have some notes i wanna write but i’ll go grab some water rn 🚶🏻‍♂️i hope u have a wonderful rest of your day babes!! goodluck on all your hw mwah !! here’s me hugging u back 🫂 (sidenote that emoji is so detailed idk how to feel abt that but uh moving on) remember to not overwork yourself and get some rest if youre tired 🤎

with love,

lex 😻

[117117]

why not post something to tumblr?

its 16/12/21 btw.

It's been a while. I ended up fighting with that friend for a hot minute and we didn't speak for a few awkward weeks. We kinda resolved... but IDK. She still bothers me a lot. And that's in part because I see things in her that I wouldn't wanna see in myself (like being really annoying and obviously fake when trying to be cool). She ended up away from her abusive ex so that's good. But she still keeps fucking up her life and idk. We had a moment the other day of talking a lot. I'll see where it goes. Still there's hurt and it's not like it was before. Still kinda wish I would never have to see her again but that's not gonna happen. Kinda wish she'd just drop out but yeah.

Yesterday I had this intense and dreadful feeling that persisted throughout today of failure. I'm not good doing good enough in school I think. I got a 6,5 for this one assignment and just royally failed to impress anyone. Feels like shit. So today after a long and draining mental fight with myself I went to school to work and that was kinda nice. It was also a factor that there was a guys's poker night that I wasn't invited to. Which, yeah I'm not a guy, but usually my friend H invites me anyway. And I wish he had invited me. I'm not really sure why he didn't. I think I might be failing to interest him anymore. He's more with the guys now. I think if I were a guy this wouldn't be such a problem. I think they'd invite me easier that way. But I did get invited to this party with classmates that I'm excited for. Gonna pregame with two people I haven't hung out with outside of school before and I'm excited for that. I think they like me... Next semester I wanna work harder. And be better. Because I do think I can do better. Might also look into getting diagnosed. I just see myself procrastinating and hating myself and then read far too relatable stories of people and them saying their life changed with medication. Maybe it could change mine. But idek.

I've been trying to ingratiate myself in the departments microcosm more. It really is fun with them, though my friends back home still hold the #1 spot. Idk. I wanna be more with them, also because fomo. I think final assessment will go okay, but I still have to do a bunch of things before it's good. And maybe all the teachers will be disappointed in me. I really hate that I got a 6,5. One thing I hadn't really anticipated is more of my teachers this year just refuse to tell me what's what. They don't even push. It's like they just decide you're not worth their time and then they just ignore you and don't attempt to drive you further. Next semester we're gonna do world building, which I hate. How the hell do I communicate what goes on in my mind effectively. I wanna use the workshops more. I've been neglecting the opportunities there. I can rabble on about how the others are older and therefore can do more, but L is basically the same as I am only with artist parents, and she's doing better things. I must simply be at school more. I really do believe that could be good for me, socially and work...ly. I wanna be more workaholic. Ugh idek. Ok bye.