#idk what i didn't expect it to be so graphic like it's literally a show where one of the main characters is a cannibalistic serial killer

[vilnan]

started watching hannibal nbc and i'm ready for it to become my entire personality

[mrmoonytoonie]

Bendy and the Dark Revival Rant (negative and long)

Idk why I'm making this, maybe for just peace of mind and y'all can bash me in the comments if y'all want or tell me your own opinion if anyone actually reads this stupid thing. Warning I might be all over the place and this isn't scripted so expect foul language and emotion and unprofessional things.

So I'll like to start with that I'm a MASSIVE fan of Bendy and the Ink Machine and have since alpha chapter 1. That game is my childhood and what inspired me to take drawing more seriously.

The "Ink Demon"

So Bendy and the dark revival, literally disappeared and came back out of nowhere lol. I was actually excited and hyped as hell when it was first announced, glad to know Bendy wasn't forever dead (literally sobbed my eyes out when we killed him in chapter 5). But then nothing, no updates, no news, NOTHING, but I still had hope even when everyone was leaving. Then yay the game is here! But my stupidity and something I should have done was that I should have watched the trailer and someone play it to save my money. I got the game when it came out for the PlayStation and immediately played it going in there blind, even though I couldn't even see what I was playing 97% of the time due to it being too dark even with all the house lights off in the middle of the night it was fun at first! Then the fucking "ink demon" part came up, I was so damn excited to see him in better graphics only to have that THING show up. I had to do a double take to see if that was even the ink demon and to my disappointment it was, I'm not going to lie I don't see how people like it, to me it stripped him from all his creativity and made him into a basic ass demon to the point it's not even close to being Bendy related. I'm not gonna lie I did like the voice at first but later its so damn annoying! Like spit that shit out dude, there is no reason for you to do all that! Also how the programmed him is so lazy and annoying and broken "Oh no hide the ink demon is coming", now at first I was excited to have the chase of my life but NOOOOOOOOO, literally just tells you and you hope to God he decides to spawn in where he is supposed to because he will spawn when there isn't any hiding places. Oh and the hiding places are another annoying broken thing, when I'm trying to hide sometimes you have to look at it at a very specific angle and pray it works. Anyways, so at this point we saw little Bendy and ... The Thing, at this point we already know the "big reveal" was that little Bendy is that thing, like anyone should have seen that coming. ALRIGHT so the end, WHAT THE FUCK EVEN IS THE ENDING?! Like why is it just the same ending to BATIM?! Also trying to control Beast Bendy was so damn annoying and wacked! Also what was even his motive? Why the hell did he need Audrey to turn into Beast Bendy? He didn't need it before why need it now? But literally everything gave me more questions then answers and you could have made a better ending than whatever the hell Meetly gave us.

Honestly there is so so much about Bendy and the Dark Revival that I absolutely despise but that would end up making a whole book if I continue so imma just complain on how they massacred my boi. Also if you like BATDR then that's great! I'm glad that people can enjoy things even tho I don't. It's just I feel like I'm going crazy because I don't see anyone else who doesn't like it. Also I didn't expect the game to be easy but it was just so unenjoyable, I was expecting to have the thrill of being chased down hallways and stairs, to fight searchers and the butcher gang, to see old characters that I love and adore only for it to have none of that and just becoming a headache and a broken mess. For someone (Me) who played BATIM over a hundred times to only play BATDR only 3 is just sad. Anyways thanks if anyone reads this, this was just something to help me.

[elliespuns]

I was wondering, would you mind introducing yourself a bit? Your age, hobbies (except for blogging of coure), music taste, your favorite movies, etc? I love the content you post and i love you and I don't even know you. I wanna know my favorite blogger.. lol. Only if you're okay with it

First of all, thank you for such a lovely compliment. I love you too and I don't even see your blog, mate!

To answer you; I was answering something similar once. This anon sent me questions and I filled them in, so if you allow me to just copy and paste those so I wouldn't have to type it all again (nothing has changed since then, honestly) then I'll be happy to oblige.

How old are you? I'm 30

Tall or short? Very short, I'm only 5'1 ft, 1,56 m

Sexuality? Eh, I don't like labeling myself but if I HAD TO, it'd say bisexual/demisexual.

Describe yourself briefly I'm an introverted dork that doesn't vibe with most people. I dig music, art, and I love a lot. I either love too much or not at all. I've been vegan for over 10 years now and I love funny people. Other than that, I'm just a very poetic soul that also loves to play video games from time to time and I write. I write a lot.

Something you like about yourself? I'd say it's my knowledge in English. I've been self 'learning' it for 9 years now (never been abroad) and I was able to learn the language to the point where it became a huge part of my life. Like I literally use it more than my mother language. That's a thing I'd say I like about myself.

Favorite hobbies outside your blog? I write; creative writing, poetry. Both fulfil my mind. Then I love reading (ofc). I also draw, play video games, work with graphic programs and I love taking pictures.

Something no one would guess about you I have a very high sex drive, lmao 🫣😂 and people would never say so about me, because I literally look like I have a ribbon buckled to my vagina.

Weird quirks you have Oh, god, I can't stand hand cuts. Like you can literally show me a video of someone having their throat slit and I'll be fine, but then you show me a vid of someone having their palm sliced, or simply just someone cutting their finger and I'll go all asdfghjklsdfghjk.

One talent you wished you had Damn, I wish I could draw from imagination. I can draw but I can't seem to draw anything just by trying to see it in my head. That's so fucking frustrating. And weird. Anyone else having this problem?

A word your friends would use to describe you Idk about one word, but my best friend says I'm the funniest person she has ever met, so does that count? Lol, Idk why she says this. I'm literally a potato.

Craziest thing that's ever happened to you Omg, trauma alert… when my boss (a 70 year old male) caressed the top of my head telling me I'm pretty.

Have you ever been in love? Yes, for over 10 years now (no, it's not a fictional character, lol).

What is your biggest fear? Fuck, it's hurricanes and tornados. I actually have a phobia, it's called 'ancraophobia' and it's a fear of strong wind. (I swear I don't fear normal wind tho, I'm not that weird, actually, ok?).

Why did you start this blog? When I came here one day I realized that there were only a few blogs that were dedicated to the game stuff. So I said why the hell not? I didn't expect to have an actual fanbase here, it's crazy. Love you guys.

Your favorite food? Lentils, that's the shit.

Least favorite food? I'd say meat.

Favorite TV shows? Okay, not gonna mention TLOU cause it's obvious, but the very first show that pops into my mind every time is Breaking Bad. I love this show to bits. Then I also love TWD, OITNB, Better Call Saul, Wentworth, This Is Us, Lost, The Killing.

Favorite movie of all time? My most favorite movie of all time will forever be Ginger Snaps (2000). I've loved this movie ever since I was 11. It's been 19 years ever since and I still love it to pieces. Aaaaah!

Favorite musicians? I love a lot of music, but my most favorite is Damien Rice. I love that guy and what he does. Right behind him are Cigarettes After Sex and Mazzy Star (just pure love). Then it would be Joshua Radin, The Hope Arsenal, Yaeow, The Paper Kites, The Smiths, R.E.M., Blur, BoDeans...

Do you have any pets? My chonky boi guinea pig.

[zalrb]

HoTD frustrates the hell outta me, because like this stuff SHOULD be interesting. I SHOULD be invested. On paper, the concept and the plot sounds pretty exciting! But from the very first episode, they refuse to develop the characters. Aemma’s death by forced c-section in ep1 was horrific, but we only knew her for less than an episode, got almost no idea of who she was as a person or her relationships with the other characters, so it’s like… okay this is gruesome, but what does this mean besides being gruesome? Viserys and Rhaenyra grieve for her, but WHY? What things about her were special, made them love her? And this carries on for every character and everything that happens for the whole series. The kid’s death this season was like… okay, we don’t know this kid and barely know Helaena, so why should this matter? And then the impact of his death lasts for about a day and then it seems nobody gaf anymore, even Helaena lmao. And I so wanted to like this show as an asoiaf fan. I don’t even really mind that they made changes from the books, I expected it because the source material itself is very thin, but I hoped they would add more depth, not make it even more shallow! No wonder grrm has been throwing shade at people making bad adaptations, but honestly he gave his okay to make this show, so he has only himself to blame lol

I've gotta be honest, Aemma's death/birthing scene didn't affect me the way it did most fans, I think because at that time, TV was doing a lot of graphic birthing scenes, I just tapped out and I wasn't particularly surprised that a king would choose his heir over his wife, I don't know there was so much outrage surrounding that scene and I was just kind of like, is that not something we would expect in a patriarchal society? Idk. But I get your point.

I also agree that I should be intrigued because I was like, Rhaenyra basically building an army of "bastards" should be cool, and the fact that she's more disappointed about not having riders opposed to the deaths of various people when the dragons turn on them should be an interesting character insight, the dragons choosing their riders should be exciting, but I don't care about any of it because it all seems so passive and I don't feel the stakes because I keep being like wait, who is winning this war, that shot of the small folk choosing rotten vegetables feels perfunctory, like I just don't FEEL the scale of this war.

Because even in season 1, there was just a lack of detail that would've made the world richer, the stakes more palpable

which is why when people keep bringing up how season 2 was terrible, i'm like season 1 was literally no better.

[plothooksinc]

👻 and 🤩 if you don't mind!

I do not! Sorry for the delay my brain has been kinda foggy lately

👻 What is your wildest headcanon?

Ahaha, I don't really have any that are wild. 😅 Mine are all small things like "Leo sometimes gets words wrong because he doesn't know them and sometimes gets them wrong because it annoys Donnie" or the concept of them all trying to give themselves first aid lessons when they were ten to... very limited success. All tiny things that don't really change much because I generally work with what a show gives me. Though I do tend to bow to popular fanon when I like it, I wouldn't call them wild either because everybody uses those. Etc etc.

🤩 What led to your interest in the fandom?

UHHH well. I was walking past the living room while my uncle was watching 4pm cartoons after school (he was 14, my age) and caught the tail end of one of the classic TMNT eps-- it was literally just a clip of April O'Neil for Channel 6 news walking through a destroyed wall and then doing a news report and it cut to the teetles arguing over who she was (thanking? winking at? Idk). She interrupted her own broadcast while they were arguing and said "Cool it, guys! If you must know, I was winking at Splinter!" So that was ...IDK season 2? They were still getting mystical crystals? Anyway, I love cartoons, I love redheads, and I especially love weird cartoons b/c I grew up on a bunch of dubbed anime, so I sat down to watch it properly the next day and was hooked. April was my actual first fave because I always latch onto redheads. (Represent, I guess?) Over time it switched to Leo. Largely because, hilariously, I decided poor lame 87!Leo needed someone to like him. (He grew on me more unironically later on.)

That's probably as far as it would have gone, except I really liked them and so was recording episodes etc, and then while I was at work one day at K-Mart I saw TMNT comics! Which were... actually the colourised volume 1 of Mirage TMNT in four graphic novels, being sold in the kids reading section (oh dear, K-Mart, you didn't look at those too closely, did you?) and so I bought them expecting MORE ADVENTURES OF -- wait, who the hell are these guys. Why are they all wearing red, holy shit is that blood wow they just gutted Shredder in the first issue ... :D :D :D (Oh look, they threw Leo through a window. bb's first blorbo covered in blood, there we go--)

Anyway, yeah at that point I was hooked. And checked the newsagency and found the Archie TMNT comic series, and then from there trekked into the city one day while I should have been at school to visit bb's first comics shop-- TMNT is actually how I got into comic reading, AMV making, and fanfiction by the by-- and, uh, solididfied hurt/comfort as my jam-- and I just kept going down that rabbit hole.

So. Shout out to K-Mart for deciding to sell bloody, gory TMNT comics in the kid's section I guess. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Thank you!

Ask meme here.

[indigo-creates-chaos]

Okay so I had a sleep and I wanna elaborate on this. It's just gonna be a lot of barely logical rambling lol

First, let me talk about the other songs I had to warm up to. For context: I started listening to Epic properly between the release of the cyclops saga and the ocean saga. Based on the snippets I was really excited for Keep your friends close and Ruthlessness. When the saga released I was hesitant bc neither were what I thought they'd be. I've since listened to both countless times and I've grown to love them. What put me off initially was the tone shifts/location changes in both of them. I understand now that that's what worked best for the musical and I like the choices.

I also now understand why Jorge has not talked about song 21 and 22 prior to releasing them, going into those blind was an experience for sure.

That being said, let's talk about the thunder saga. Spoilers under the cut.

First of all, let me say that this is just purely my opinion, I have thoughts and I need to put them somewhere.

So. The songs are blending together in my head a lil bit bc I watched a reupload of the livestream and there wasn't big gaps between them. That being said, I like the first song. I like the back and forth and the little hints that something isn't right. I like the reveal that Odysseus knew all along and that he was prepared.

(Let me throw in here that I don't really like gore/Body horror. The more graphic it is and the more focus it gets, the less comfortable I am. I can usually read it just fine bc I can skim it or skip it if I want, but I can't really watch it or listen to it. I recognise that that's a me problem, I just wanted to mention it.)

And then he went "yeah, let's cut of their tails, throw them back into the ocean and let them drown :D" like sir, yes, I understand that they tried to kill you but like??? That is unnecessary??? Especially considering that they're probably at least ½ to ⅔ tail so what you're actually saying is to cut them in half??? Also, they have gills, they won't drown, they're gonna bleed out instead. But hey, based on the lyrics I briefly thought that the crew was gonna eat them so like it could've been even worse lol, a warning still would've been nice though.

Another thing. We're saying that Odysseus is smart, right? So he could've just taken the sirens and fed them to Scylla instead of killing them. That would've also saved his men. Idk, that feels like the smarter course of action to me.

But hey, at the end of the day we got exactly what the end of the underworld saga promised us. We got Odysseus as a monster. I get that that was the logical continuation and I knew that it'd happen bc of the snippets from future sagas but I didn't expect it to happen immediately. I guess that and the way it was presented just threw me off.

Speaking of Odysseus as a monster, I think he achieved that. Like yes, he threw the child off the wall, but that was bc the gods literally told him to. That didn't make him a monster. He also spared the other monsters he encountered up to the underworld saga. That also didn't make him a monster. But cutting sirens in half and throwing them back in the ocean to die? And then purposely sacrificing his men? Yeah, that's where I draw the line.

Also, it's probably explained in the odyssey, but why did Eurilycus open the bag of wind? I don't really understand his reasoning for it lol but that's fine, I'll figure it out eventually.

Also, I love how the crew was trying to take over the ship bc they didn't trust Odysseus and then Zeus shows up and gives him the ultimatum and they go "surely he's gonna choose us, right? Right?" Like guys, what did you expect to happen there? How did you think that would go after seeing and understanding the Scylla situation??

Anyway, I think that's all I had to say. To anyone who has read this far, thank you! I hope you have a wonderful [timezone] ^^

I just listened to the thunder saga. I'll need 2-8 business days to process this. Wtf just happened??? Somehow it's not at all what I thought it'd be and also fits perfectly. I don't even have an opinion regarding it. I have no idea if I like it or not. Like no thoughts at all, I'm just stunned. What do I even do now??? Idk, I probably just need to listen to it repeatedly and warm up to it like I did to the other sagas... but I feel like it'll be more difficult to do for this one (at least for me personally).

I should also get myself a copy of the odyssey (and the illyad while I'm on it) so I can read them...

[gnael]

hiiii <3 big ask big answer is what i'm expecting would LOVE to know your top 5/faves across various media that are new(in release or just new to you) this year! so: shows, movies, games, books, songs/albums, new artists you've discovered etc

tv shows:

the bear; you already know bc you put me and like a dozen other people on to this show lol - the chaos, the vulnerability, the rawness idk it's very realistic while being dramatic and comedic I'd like to see syd and carmy on my screen very soon <3

the endgame!! I watched it on hulu this summer and spent the last week trying to figure out what it was called. just figured it out and wouldn't answer this ask before I did. they cancelled the show after one season (and it's not on hulu anymore) but it's perfection nonetheless. storyline and plot is there. the characters are developed. two women go from enemies to acquaintances bc if they don't work together the us will quite literally fall apart (one is a prisoner and the other an fbi agent lolol). that sounds romantic but it's not. it's good stuff.

books:

do not go gently by judith smith-levin is intense and graphic, but the plot is there, the characters are decent, and I'm only including this book bc I was startled by the time I finished reading. I was stuck in the best way possible.

sugar by bernice l. mcfadden is sad and happy and hopeful. I have the sequel (this bitter earth) on my bookshelf simply bc sugar ended on such a good cliffhanger. it wasn't lazy or like the author just tossed it at the end, it was intriguing and woven throughout the story so well. I love all the characters involved no matter how annoying they are bc they felt so real.

movies: a woman under the infulence - a movie I had to watch for a film class but didn't regret it and it immediately came to mind when you sent me this! focuses completely on a woman and her journey with her unnamed mental illness. it's raw, maybe a bit too raw, it felt more like a documentary of sorts, and I wanted to hug mabel and her kids throughout it </3

ty imo!!! this was fun :-)

[backshelfpoet]

why didn't you like Seattle University? (sorry if this is too personal lol).

BOY get ready

My very first day of class, a professor made a lewd comment about my body, deadnamed me and every single other person who had changed their name, continuously talked about how straight he was, how much he loved women (especially young women), and how he didn’t understand how his son could be gay because, man, he just loved women so much! He was just the world’s biggest heterosexual, how could his son be gay? etc.

This professor ended up hating me because I corrected him about my name, then when he asked if he could use my deadname anyway, I said “that’s not your decision,” and he did not like that so I guess I was evil or whatever because that’s how he treated me for the rest of the quarter.

Same professor bullied me in class, publicly called me names, said nobody liked me because I was a smartass, and threatened to fail me because of my “in-class behavior.” Keep in mind, I went to his office hours a bunch to discuss my essays with him and he never brought it up there, where we could have a conversation like adults :)

Professors actively gave students wrong information in an attempt to erase queer people from the historical narrative i.e. I had a professor who refused to acknowledge that Sappho was gay.

When I approached the program leader about my concerns and desire to leave the program, telling him that my friends and academic advisor thought it would be best for me to pursue a different major, he deadass gaslighted me. He said those people knew nothing about the program and I couldn’t trust them, he was the only person I could trust to tell me the truth, and I had to stay in the program or else I would really regret it.

And that’s just the first quarter. I transferred from the Honors program I was in to the Humanities for Teaching program for the rest of the school year, where things were like …. different but definitely not better.

During my second quarter, my comp teacher (TW) used class time to talk about rape and suicide with absolutely no warnings beforehand. He also required we attend a showing of the play Titus Andronicus, which was in no way part of our curriculum and has a graphic onstage scene showing rape to the point of mutilation, as well as several onstage deaths and like … no warning. No “heads up, this play has death, rape, and murder, just FYI,” not even a brief outline of the plot. Students had to sit through that if they wanted a good grade.

Same teacher had class material that said Secularists are evil and he brought God and Jesus up constantly. When I mentioned that I was Jewish in class, he asked me “why I hadn’t accepted Jesus into my life.”

Same teacher bullied students of color in his class, also tried to use my deadname (and thought everyone in his class was straight? Like explicitly said we were all straight?), and completely dismissed students with mental illnesses and disabilities. I wrote a whole thing on how he’s an awful dick here

 I had my first female professor this quarter, but only for one hour every week, and she was really transphobic and said a lot of stuff about mental illness that was blatantly false and very damaging.

Also in my history class, a girl said Muslims were evil and I tried to correct her and my teacher shushed me?????

When I approached this program’s coordinator with my concerns, she told me that I shouldn’t expect college professors to be good teachers because they’re not “here to teach,” they’re “here to be professionals in their field” and I’m like … ok but that doesn’t matter if they can’t take what they know and teach it to the kids paying hundreds of thousands of dollars for this education. She also actively invited me to leave Seattle U, saying “it’s very possible this isn’t the right school for you, and you would be more content elsewhere,” which was true but like. I am a very valuable student, I’d been on the Dean’s list for two quarters at that point and I’d received their highest scholarship and I was like … you’re not even going to think about fixing these things to try and get me to stay? And I wasn’t the only student considering transferring at that point, so this school was losing excellent assets left and right and they were still so stuck in their ways that they weren’t willing to consider looking into improving their programs. Literally, they have a 86% freshman retention rate, absurdly low, but they were super into their Jesuit teaching style, which included professors doing all this shit apparently.

During this time, I had one class I was taking outside of the Humanities for Teaching program, which was a Spanish class, and I ended up having this huge breakdown and doing really badly on a paper. The teacher pulled my aside and asked what was going on because he had had me during the first quarter as well and knew my work could be better, and when I told him I was really struggling emotionally with my other classes, he said it would probably be best for me to go to the U of O, because it was a really good school and I would be close to my family and old friends, and that was when I really started thinking about transferring. 

During my third quarter, a protest against the dean of Matteo Ricci College, a college inside my university which included my major program, was started by a group of students of color who were advocating for the dean to resign and for the curriculum to drastically change, and the school fought the protest until the end of the year. Students were occupying the dean’s office, literally sleeping there, and like. Idk guys it was just wild, it made the entire third quarter totally crazy. I ended up hearing a lot of stories from people who were mistreated like I was, and it validated my suspicions that it wasn’t just a “me thing” like the program coordinator had implied.

Anyway, my teachers were slightly better during my third quarter, but at that point I had slipped into a really severe depression because I felt like my entire year had been a waste, I was frustrated by the limited opportunities the school was giving me for a major, I lacked any solid support system, and my self-worth had been drastically lowered by six months of constant discrimination from my professors for my gender, sexuality, mental illnesses, and jewishness. I was anxious to the point where I was almost constantly sick, I had nightmares all the time, my eating disorder re-surfaced, and it’s probably the closest I ever came to being suicidal. 

Like … this school and the way it treated me almost killed me. My mom suggested I go back for fall quarter to avoid gaps in my education and I immediately went on Prozac, because even the remote possibility of returning to that place made my depression and anxiety twelves times worse.

And like, just kind of on top of everything, I’m an English major, like, there’s absolutely no reason for me to go to some private school for that when I could get just as legit a major at half the cost at a state school.

Anyway so long story short, I left because the teachers were shitty and discriminatory, I came home and was accepted to the U of O and now I’m here and much happier!

Thanks for asking, if you read all of this, you’re a fucking champ tbh.

-

d.a.s