#idk the parents thing just doesn't click with me one bit

[carolinanadeau]

it's so unrelatable to me when people call their OTPs their 'parents'. I would not want to write/read about my parents like that! and I also definitely don't want to think of my OTPs as old enough to have a child my age lol

[cheeseceli]

How they propose to you

Pairing: Ot8!Skz × Gn!reader (individually)

Genre: fluff, reactions, established relationship

Request: Who in skz would do a public proposal with family and friends, and who would want to do it privately just you and him….

Warnings: mentions of "having a family" at Chan's, but it doesn't necessarily mean having kids

A/n: technically the pictures don't match but they look so cute?? | Daily click

Bang Chan - public

‌not like public PUBLIC

‌there wouldn't be any strangers around nor anything like that

‌but your families are a must

‌i personally believe he would either propose at his parent's home or yours, whatever feels better

‌as he's basically proposing because he wants to make a family with you, it is only fair to have your "past" family alongside as well

‌on a side note, I think he'd be the type to ask for your parents' permission before even planning anything!

Lee Know - private

‌idk, he just has this domestic vibe to me

‌i can't see him proposing to you anywhere that not your home

‌you, him, the cats, a movie and a shiny ring who's waiting to be shown seems perfect to him

‌anyone else would feel a little bit out of place in this scenario

‌and he also wants your rawest reaction

‌when alone, you two are the most vulnerable. He wants all this vulnerability

‌so a private proposal is like a dream come true to him

Changbin - public

‌this one would get everyone involved

‌your friends, his friends, your family, his family

‌neighbours as well if you will

‌depending on it, maybe even a professional photographer hidden somewhere

‌he's about to make the move of the century and he wants everyone to be the testimony of his love for you

‌and if you happen to say "yes" when he kneel down in front of you (you will), they would be the testimony of your love for him as well

‌that's a love to remember

Hyunjin - it depends

‌ever the hopeless romantic, he'd make an entire search on what you prefer

‌his proposal would be planned, that much I know

‌but he'd make the details thinking about you

‌whatever you enjoyed the most would be the important thing

‌do you want your friends and family to be involved? So be it

‌you don't? Then no one will even know about it before you want them to

‌your wish is his command

Han - private

‌no other answer could ever be correct ngl

‌no one else is allowed in this moment

‌he might've asked for advice and suggestions regarding his proposal to some people

‌but they were close to you both always

‌and they wouldn't be directly involved in it

‌this moment would be exclusively yours

‌if anything, that's one of the things that made it even more special to you

‌it was simple. it was only him, who you fell in love with

‌it was only you, who he wanted to have forever

‌the simplicity was incredible and magic

Felix - public

‌i'd be surprised if you didn't know about his plans to propose before he does it in fact

‌because everyone knows it

‌every. One. Knows

‌it's cute how excited/nervous he was not gonna lie

‌but because of that he ended up spilling his ideas to every one who'd hear

‌besides that, he would like to have some support there for him when he needs to ask such an important question

‌and similar to changbin, he'd love it if people could remember this act as a proof of his love for you

Seungmin - low-key private

‌by all means, it would be private

‌just you and him having your quality time together when he suddenly asks for your hand in marriage

‌the moment itself would be private yk

‌but the moment you step out of the room the boys would be there waiting for the news 😭

‌or he'd have told your friends, who are waiting expectancly, but they wouldn't be there on the moment

‌overall: some people would know he was about to propose. They would be waiting anxiously for the answer. However, in the moment, it would only be the two of you

I.N - private

‌he would propose spontaneously !!

‌hear me out

‌no plans, not even a ring maybe, just his most genuine love and devotion towards you

‌and it would strike him at the most random moment

‌so he'd just simply propose to you one day, just the two of you

‌and then you'd enjoy each other's company for a very good while

‌when the time comes to tell the news to other people, every single person would be genuinely surprised

‌because it was so out of the blue?? But it also makes so much sense??

Masterlist | you'll probably like: even after all

Reminder that this is all fiction, this does not represent the members in real life!

Taglist (open!): @yuyubeans @dandelions-143 @sleepyleeji @jinnie-ret

Dividers by @saradika-graphics | images 1, 2 and 3

[who1ssheesh]

NSFW Xanxus with s/o? 👀

Xanxus NSFW Headcanons

Warnings: seks and swearing; fem!reader; huge OOC; 100% wrong grammar, english still is not my native (it will be one day is this how it works idk); no beta we die like tyl tsuna

Note: tbh, this is really short since I'm still holding back my filthiest thoughts?? The add-on section with sub Xus can be NOT considered serious but those make me raaaaaaaaaawrrr aooga

• Fucking horndog end of the story leave lieks uwu

• No really, he riles up in a second and in the most inconvenient situations. And if you don’t give him what he wants, Xanxus will be very broody for the whole day. Good luck, you will need one ngl

• Xanxus obviously likes (LOOVES) seeing you in revealing tight clothes, this bitch will drop stuff on purpose just to see your bottom if you're wearing a short skirt that day. He will not hide it, man will just be sitting with the nastiest smile, and you know you have to get that thing up since he won’t

• More of a thighs and ass type tbh. Any breast is good if he can see a nice cleavage.

• I really imagine Xanxus as a big juicy man despite Amano’a art style. His thighs worth dying between, his tiddies look heavy I can hold them bb. And I think he also enjoyed someone not really slim? He loves something to GRAB

• Not even in a sexual way. He will always grab your ass even around people and he can't even give you a coherent answer why. He just stares zero brain head empty - he can't admit out loud he loves your body, what a loser

• HUGE size kink. The nastiest, craziest size kink, he is going to be feral with a small s/o like he really means to snap them in half

• Also has a big dick, so……..can’t complain

• Choke him. Never in your life you can even choke him a little bit, but Xanxus appreciates the effort. Your both fragile feminine hands cannot do anything against him and even grab his neck fully, and that feeling of power over you gets him going.

• Then you feel his hot touch around your throat. He is going to show you how it is done

• Enjoys the fight. Someone too obedient is not his type at all, he gets bored quickly, he loves his girlie to has temperament. Scratch him, grab him, bite him and never hold back. Xanxus enjoys smell of blood, seeing your marks all over him after

• Touch. His. Scars. I’m sorry for involving feelings, but he will like it

• You can never dumbfound him with love-bombing btw. Unlike SOMEONE ahemsqualoahem

“I-i love you”

“Yeah, who doesn’t”

But he still thinks that’s lame and kills the mood

• Yes to power play but GOD FUCK NO WHAT ARE YOU DOING GET THE FUCK OUT YOU FREAK to Daddy kink. He has too much going on with parents and has big issues, especially with fathers. But props to being the first person Xanxus calls a freak

• Get on your knees for him and he’s so WEAK

• Speaking of weak. Xanxus thinks too much with his dick, and you won’t have much problem convincing him about something through a good blowjob (or sex in general). He knows your trick but doesn’t mind, since he’s had a good time, nay? Though sometimes he’ll fuck around and just go away “well, bye now”

• Corruption kink and no one will convince me otherwise. Having a confident skilled woman is good. But how about the most stoic, morally right woman turned into the filthiest nastiest whore just for him? Bonus point if she's a virgin, something clicking in his head. Xanxus enjoys the fact he's one and only or at least, if you break up, he's still your first and no other man will satisfy you she same way (those are his words, not mine)

• Such a dirty talker. But usually Xanxus tries to get an answer from you and just laughs and your fucked-out pathetic state. He won't stop until your eyes are glossy and absolutely empty, his dick is the only thing on your mind.

• Xanxus is shameless but still gets really angry when you two get caught. HOT TAKE. It's not about him btw, he doesn't give a shit about being seen with some one-night-stand but YOU as his partner are different. He wants people hear you and know how good he's making you feel, he wants then to see how hot, awesome, smart, pretty, confident you are BUT! Xanxus is the only one who sees you in the nastiest, most vulnerable state.

• Hot take again - he's not against eating you out. First - being between juicy thick thighs worth dying for, second - he again turns it into a dominating moment, where HE decides if you're having an orgasm.

Secret-secret headcanons I myself BELIEVE

• Sit on his face. Xanxus will act like a bitch but in the end you will notice he likes it WAY too much and even has some shade of pink on his cheeks

• Just try to dominate him in general. Use the same dirty words he uses for you, don't be scared to insult him. You both are too fucked up and horny at this moment anyways, Xanxus' brain won't even comprehend what you are telling him and that actually he's supposed to get angry

• Xanxus didn't know this is his kink - a beast being tamed, huh?

• After the first time this idiot didn't even talk to you, trying to process what the hell happened. But seeing you the same as always, still treating him as a big smart boss, and that's what everyone believes, makes him hard instantly.

• Xanxus doesn't like sex toys at all (he can make you see stars without any help) but JUST MAYBE that's the first time you get whips? Question mark?

• Nah, he won't just become suddenly submissive, that's not the point. He will insult you, bite you, scratch, choke you, fight against you. If you can't handle him, you don't deserve him in this state, okay?

[luxurydumpsterfire]

Hazbin Hotel ships I like!!! 1¡!!¡(In no particular order) (Includes non-canon ships) (This is just for fun and is not meant to offend anyone!) (Okay, I'm going to stfu now).

Let's go!

Radiodust!

These two live in my head rent free,all day,every day,24/7,365.

And most of the time they're kissing.

Anyways.

We know that they both lived in the same decade and have similar tastes in music and cuisine,which is already a great start! I also love the idea of Alastor adoring everything about Angel EXCEPT for the sex. Cause let's be real,Angel needs that. He deserves a complete and total gentleman who would never lay a finger on him; Especially after tolerating abuse from you-know-who, cough,cough,fuckyouValentino,COUGH.

Also,the tropes??? Good old fashioned lover boy x Killer Queen? Mafia x Serial killer? Hello???

10/10, Literally one of my favs.

2. Chaggie!

My babies!

Okay, I admit these two are very cute. Since neither of these two age normally, Charlie's a hellborn and Vaggie's a fallen angel,it means they'll get to grow old together! :)

I love the opposites attract trope and these two are no exception!

I would definitely like for them to get more screen time in the second season 2,since they didn't get much in the first one,but other then that, they're perfect!

3. Nifty x Baxter

(Do these two have a ship name? Idk?)

Baxter hasn't even come on to the show yet but I can already tell these two are going to be Chaos gremlins,in their own,lovable,concerning ways 😌

4. Lucililith

I don't believe for a SECOND these two aren't in love,even if just a little bit.

Yes,yes,yes,I know they're divorced. AND? THEY CAN STILL GET BACK TOGETHER! THEY'RE IN THEIR DIVORCE ERA, GUYS.

I think it's mostly the fanart that got me hooked,lol. And the fact that I would love to have them as my parents, honestly.

5. CasinoBomb

(No photo for this one,sorry 🥲)

I...I don't know,man,@zaebeecee 's posts about them altered my brain chemistry and...I DON'T KNOW WTF HAPPENED,IDK

I just saw one of their posts and the more I thought about it,the more I liked it

Something about them just clicks,you know? It's one of those ships that makes no sense but also a lot of sense.

Also,if you don't know what characters I'm talking about, it's Husk x Cherri bomb.

5. Radiorose

He doesn't mind her touching him 😢

They're so cute,omg 😭

Look at them!!! 💗💗💗

Although I mostly prefer them as besties, I also like the idea of them being together. You can tell he's a lot more comfortable with her then anyone else in the show and I love that ☺️

6. Radiohusk

(Art belongs to @vadoodlevee and it will be taken down if I am asked to).

Ah yes,the two loser old men in love. GIVE THEM TO ME.

They've known each other for years and are sick and tired of each others bs. They know what the other like's and dislike's because they're begrudgingly stuck together. They actually can't stand each other.

I'M SOLD!

And no, I'm not glorifing the slave x master thing. I've shipped these two HARD since the pilot,so calm down.

Alright, let's get more into the crackships/rarepairs. Not counting Casinobomb cause we've actually seen those two interact,lol.

Feel free to give your own personal take on these(as long as they're not hateful)!

7. Caramel Apple!

Apart from me just really liking their ship name,I feel like these two would be a really cute couple. Like,she would take him out to one of her parties when he's feeling down and would comfort him about his relationship with Charlie and with Lilith.

And Lucifer wouldn't be afraid to tell her when it's a good time to tone it down.

I also feel like she would be very polite to Charlie and Vaggie.

And I like the idea of them baking together ❤️

8. Angelic Ballet!

A little hesitant on this one.

So, realistically,these two would probably hate each other. Sera was the one who approved the exterminations,resulting in the death of billions of sinners, which puts Carmila and her daughters in danger. So that's not really a great way to start a relationship...

However, I think in any other circumstances,I think these two would be a nice couple.

They both just want to protect the people they love and are willing to go to extreme measures to do just that. It could be Sera realizing not all sinners are absolute monsters,and some were just people who made mistakes in life. Kinda of like Vaggie realizing the hellborn weren't terrible upon meeting Charlie.

Also, they're both very elegant ladies who need another refined woman to treat them right 😌🏳️‍����

[urtheloml]

my love (boundless, cosmic, never-ending)

pairing: bakugou katsuki x reader w/c: 2.1k synopsis: watching Everything Everywhere All At Once makes you think of the theory of a multiverse. your boyfriend isn't too pleased. a/n: idk i just thought bakugou would immediately tell you stfu if you told him to imagine an alternate universe that didn't have you in it hwhwhwhe <3 also: happy new year! i posted four times,,?? in 2022,, that's soo wild 4 me teehee :p anyway thanks for the support ily happy 2023

A crescendo rings, it echoes throughout the room and the sound bounces off the walls in your living room. The credits of the movie roll, the title 'Everything Everywhere All at Once' a stark white against the black background and if you squint, you can just barely catch your wide-eyed expression on the TV screen. Bakugou lifts his head off the couch arm, his face indented with lines from pressing into the leather. The room is filled with total silence, because holy shit.

"Babe, that was the greatest movie I've ever seen in my life. Like, ever." 

Bakugou snorts, but he doesn't disagree, and he probably refrains from answering verbally because he doesn't want you to hear how scratchy his voice sounds. Even though you definitely saw him get teary-eyed, he refuses to acknowledge that he cried during the film.

It would be stupid to poke fun at your boyfriend though because if his eyes are just barely red, yours are practically bloodshot and swollen. How could you, or him, not cry? The film was centred around immigrant parents learning how to grow, how to accept their children and apologising in their own ways. It was bound to happen.

Bakugou gets up and you let your legs stretch out, laying down fully on the couch. He shuffles around the room, picking up stray pieces of popcorn that you both threw at each other during the movie. He switches the TV off, puts the bowls and cups in the sink and washes them for you too. All the while, your mind thinks about the theory of a multiverse, thinks about Katsuki and how different things could've been.

When he returns, he rolls his eyes at the sight of your wet cheeks. A hand, big enough to capture both your ankles, lifts your feet up and Bakugou sets them back down in his lap. Absent-mindedly, he starts stroking your legs, calming you down, like you were a cat and not a human. 

"Why are you still crying? The movie's been over for ten minutes, you loser."

You can't really be bothered to call him something mean, not when your mind is working faster than your mouth and wide-eyed, you blurt out, "Kats, if the multiverse theory does exist, you realise that there's a universe where you and I never met? Or one where you and I hate each other and will never have what we have now- ow!"

The soft ministrations on your leg turn into a pinch, the skin stinging between his two fingers. Bakugou cuts off your rambling by doing so, and he eases the pain over with a kiss, like it never happened at all. He clicks his tongue, "Stop it, you know I fuckin' hate it when you start saying shit like that."

But you can't stop, your mind is whirring at speeds impossible thinking about every single life that he's not in with you. It makes you ache, makes you start saying stupid things like, "No, listen, Katsuki like it's an infinite multiverse, babe. I'm sorry if you don't wanna hear it but it's true so I think it's justifying me crying a bit 'cause in some life, you and I- hmprh!"

And suddenly, you're being pulled upright and Bakugou's covering your mouth with his hand, something that always takes you by surprise because it's so calloused but still so warm and it's such a contrast to his exterior, and he looks at you dead in the eyes and says quietly (steadily), "It's not true. It doesn't exist and it won't fuckin' ever."

Unbeknownst to you, in the midst of your rant that couldn't have lasted more than five seconds, Bakugou's traitorous mind assaults him with snapshots of what his life could've been without you in it. The moment you mentioned it, he saw it. He saw a life where there wasn't you by his side. 

A meaningless existence where someone didn't drool on his shoulder on the couch, where someone didn't insist on holding hands even when it was hot out, where someone didn't take the time to pry him open and let him be loved as much as he loved them.

He saw it— living with your absence. How dull and colourless it would've been without you there for him to hold or to kiss in the mornings and afternoons and at nighttime. He let the foolish image of a life devoid of your traces play out in his mind, and it lasted no longer than a millisecond but he hated it. Living with no one to cook eggs for in the morning, waking up in a bed that wasn't warmed by you and going to sleep without letting you sink into him. It was moronic, incredulous, and it baffled him to even think about it.

He thinks of the time you forced him to look away from what he was cooking, just to dance in your small kitchenette to whatever song was playing in the background. There was no room to really sway you and his elbows kept knocking into the cupboards and he couldn't stop the grin from taking over his face. 

You had laughed and it sounded like everything he ever wanted.

He burnt the food, you ate it anyway. He thinks of a life where the food had been cooked perfectly, and he would've had to eat it alone and it would've tasted bland and flavourless anyway. Nothing would've mattered, not one achievement or goal he reached, none of it would ever matter in any lifetime across any universe if you weren't right there beside him.

Bakugou releases you, letting you fall back onto the couch with a huff. He pokes and squeezes your legs, biting the inside of his cheek to try to cleanse his mind of the foul images he was forced to think of. Your eyes track every movement he makes, softening at the sight of him being so genuinely upset about this. He wears his heart on his sleeve, he plasters it to his big forehead and when you're around, he forces it into your hands and you're not about to break it now. 

A breathless giggle slips from your mouth, and you manoeuvre your body so your head lays atop his lap now. He's pouting, and he doesn't hesitate before running his fingers through your hair, combing through any tangles. It's his love language, you know that.

You try to say something, anything to salve over the sour expression on his face. But he must have had the wrong idea because before you start to run your mouth, Bakugou covers your mouth again, against your muffled protestations. He glares at you from above and leans down to talk.

"I'm serious, shut the fuck up, because it's not fuckin’ true. I don't give a fuck if the multiverse is infinite, there'll never be a universe that exists in which I wouldn't fuckin’ love you. Because if every choice I make leads to another verse then there's nothing I wouldn't fuckin’ do to make sure that in every single life I have, I'd end up with you."

Oh.

You feel silly now that he said that. The fact that you even considered such an outrageous idea was stupid. You forget who you're dealing with. You forget that there are two of you, and the universe is no match against the force that is Bakugou Katsuki. What he wants, he gets. And it's no secret that he really only ever wanted you.

"You said it yourself, it's infinite. So it's not implausible that there'd be multiple versions of myself tracking down every life where there wasn't an us. I'd still love you, always, even if I didn't know you yet, so I'll just have to get myself to find you in every single life. Everywhere, anywhere— I'll find you, I promise."

Oh. 

"So, if God forbid, there was such a cruel universe that you and I never met, then I'd jump verses for us and make us meet. Simple as that. You need me to use bigger words to get it through your thick skull, huh? Me and you, we're- we're boundless, cosmic, never-ending. It was always meant to be, the two of us. So stop fuckin' crying already, the only thing that's actually infinite here, is you and I, alright?"

Your eyes glass over, and then it shatters but you're tearing up for completely different reasons now. Not unexpectedly, Bakugou's right. He always is, and that's not unusual. Not when he says things like that, not when he shuts down every doubt you ever had in your head with a few simple words.

Reaching up to slip a hand behind his hair, you cradle his head in your palm. Bakugou relaxes, lets his cheek press into your palm and watches the affection dance in the colour of your eyes. You press a kiss into his palm, the one covering your mouth still, and watch the tip of his ears blush. He removes his hand then, letting it rest on your stomach.

He's right, of course he is. You let the worthless thoughts of the possibility of him and you ever ceasing to exist pour out of your mind. The ever-consuming fondness, the warmth associated with Katsuki and the love you have for him— it all takes up more than enough space in your head and in your heart. It leaves no room for any uncertainty.

But you're just as hot-headed and stubborn as he is, and you refuse to let him have the last word. And so you let your teeth sink into your lip, biting back a wild grin, you pull him down quickly by his hair. Kissing Katsuki never gets old, you think. It's always the same warm pair of lips against yours; a familiar dance.

So you lose yourself in the moment— you let Katsuki kiss you all soft and slow and lasting. He licks into your mouth and it shouldn't be as sweet as it is but it feels like it anyway. Laughter bubbles out of you, unbidden but not unwanted, and he grins against your mouth. 

The whole situation was ridiculous, how a simple question had spiralled into Bakugou confessing his quite literal undying love for you. It was both so in and out of character of him that you had to giggle. He wasn't fazed by your interruption, he smiled all the same against your mouth, kissing you despite your open mouth and laughter. 

And later, when the sun recedes and the moonlight pours into your window, it'll be quiet in the room Bakugou sleeps in with you. The only noise coming from the creaky ceiling fan. His arm finds its place, as always, around your middle— holding you like a heartbeat (constant, everpresent).

In the solitude under your covers, you find yourself admiring a privilege you never really realised you had. Bakugou's fast asleep next to you, his blonde unruly hair fans out against his pillow not like a halo. He's not that graceful, but his usually scrunched-up face was now relaxed. His expression is void of anything tense, practically defenceless laying next to you.

You weren't lying when you said he wore his heart on his sleeve. He's harsh and intimidating to the public eye, but when it comes to you, all his walls go down. It's unnecessary to be so guarded with you, not when he trusts you with his life, though he won't say it (he doesn't need to).

It's inexplicable, the way you feel your chest clench looking at him. It's a privilege; to get to be loved by him and to love him in return. It's something you take for granted, and you won't say it out loud lest you upset him again, but you think of a different life in which you're not allowed to do this. A life where Katsuki wouldn't tenderly kiss you on a beaten-up couch, where he wouldn't tangle his legs in between yours and fall asleep next to you. It's pointless to think about. He said it himself, it'll never happen anyway.

Propping yourself up on your elbows, you lean over him and press a soft, lingering kiss to his hair. Bakugou smiles, and you lean in closer to whisper very softly, so you won't wake him, "I promise, I'll find you as well. Anywhere, everywhere, in all my lives, okay?"

Katsuki has a sixth sense, a you-sense, and he's sound asleep but somehow he understood what you've just said. He tightens his arm around your waist unconsciously, and you feel relentlessly and irrevocably in love with him, even though it's been so long, the feeling never wavers or wanes. It stays buzzing in your veins, a constant ebbing flow.

You fall asleep quietly.

[greasegotahold]

This post started out with a point then turned into rambling abt the stage show lol

So like. at least in my irl circle and from what I heard yesterday, a lot of ppl prefer the musical to the movie. Acknowledging the bias of theatre ppl toward theatre, that's not the reason I heard most; what I heard most is that the musical stays closer to the book than the movie. Granted idk how many if any of these ppl have seen the complete novel extended cut of the movie, but even so this argument sits wonky with me

Bc the musical takes quite a few departures from the book, some p dramatic. Darry is not the gang's leader, Dally is. Randy is an ensemble part with one line; Cherry gets his ending "even if you win, nothing will change" moment. Sandy is already gone. Evie and Sylvia are gone. Steve is not a big part of Soda's life. Two Bit isn't acknowledged as an alcoholic. Johnny was only jumped a week ago, and it's not a secret who did it. Bob is the one who jumps Pony at the start and even comes up with an excuse for it. Dally doesn't give Johnny his heater, Dally commits a far more direct suicide, no sickness or court proceedings, so on and so forth.

Now I understand why we made just about all of these changes: the show is just about 2 hours as is, not counting intermission; streamlining needed to happen, for time and for clarity of storyline. I even prefer a lot of the changes (Cherry is just. Such a livelier character lmao. She's given stuff to DO. I love her in the book and movie but the stuff they added in the musical I simply love.) I bring this up just bc it. Is honestly just as different as the movie if not more so in how it departs from the source material.

Which means when ppl are saying it's closer to the book, they mean in feel.

And in many avenues; talking about the the extreme accessibility of the book as an adult with other adults, attempting to articulate my issues with the film adaptation, and then later attempting to defend the movie on those same shortcomings, I think I know why.

It's the ever-present narration. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, Ponyboy tells his story, he doesn't show. And that makes the book an extremely straightforward read, and absolutely how he can tell us so much shit that happened in so little time, but it also makes it hard to capture in a standard movie adaptation, especially when the movie also needs to trim down and streamline characters and plot points.

But what does Pony do throughout the musical? He narrates. Yes the story plays out real time, but it's still interspersed with these slowdowns where he talks to the audience, where he's narrating.

And I think that's what's really clicking so well with the musical, despite all the changes to characters and their dynamics and plot beats.

And for certain things, the impact is still there, they just changed it around. Johnny was jumped last week instead of months ago and we don't get the excerpt abt how he wound up buying his first blade, and how he would kill the next soc who tried to jump him, and Dally no longer gives him his gun, but he does give him the 6 inch switchblade when Johnny is genuinely worried his dad will kill his mom, and then shows him how to stab to kill. The circumstances are different, but we still get Dally giving Johnny a lethal weapon. The motivation changes for why Johnny carries his blade, from self defense to an explicit want to protect others, but this makes it a more direct setup for when he kills Bob to save Pony.

And a lot of the straight up original additions to the plot feel seamless. The added backstory for Cherry's parents, her dad's alcoholism and her mom's kind of just. Surrender to hopelessness and despair. Not only explains why she's so touchy about Bob drinking, but it makes the change from going along with him to stop a fight into her refusing to back down after breaking up feel justified. To be clear, I don't fault book and movie cherry for doing what she does in that scene, she's trying to keep everyone else safe, I just think that the change was set up and well executed in the musical.

Also sidenote but in Justice For Tulsa...I have so many feelings after getting to see it. The cop shining his flashlight down on Two Bit as he gets jumped, but then he just keeps on walking bc why would he care abt a greaser...Bev buying right into the boys' escalation against the greasers vs Cherry's outright rebuke and then Marcia is over here looking genuinely Physically nauseous over having to choose a side. And of course the moment where the cop beats Dally after handcuffing him, that speaks for itself.

(Sidenote, unrelated to anything, I just wanna say when I listened to the soundtrack for the first time, years since I had read the book or watched the movie, somehow I just knew when the soc boys started singing their threatening section, that they were jumping two bit. I guess I just had a faint buried memory that Two Bit was the revenge-jumping victim lol)

[needtoloveoutloud]

Apparently, a hot take on hive-mind tumblr?

Every time I see a post that equates pro-shipping or difficult, problematic themes in (fan) fiction and books and other stories with actual, real-life SA or whatever the topic is, I automatically assume that the OP lacks critical thinking skills and media literacy, fell for the dangerous Puritan movement that's sort of going on in the US (and other countries, too) right now and is likely 14 y/o (or at least mentally stuck at that age) and simply jumped up on that dangerous bandwagon of wanted censorship.

Also, a little bit of hope dies within me.

I could write a damn essay on why equating the “experiences” of fictional (read it again: fictional aka NON-EXISTENT characters) with the trauma and experiences of real-life people is incredibly harmful and hurtful.

To somehow put the plot of a story on the same level as what actual victims went through under the guise of "omg you write/read something like that, so you must support this" is so disrespectful, on so many levels. To everyone affected.

(for example: in my story, I wrote about a 4 y/o girl that got kidnapped by child-traffickers. Does not mean that I a) condone that shit in any way shape or form in the real world and b) am a kidnapper and/or child trafficker myself...? I don't even know why this needs to be clarified?)

Only because some people don't like something that does!not!actually!harm! a real-life person, doesn't mean that that thing should be forbidden or censored. This is so, so incredibly dangerous. I feel like we have learned nothing from history. How about we just start burning books again? That worked out amazingly in the past and wasn't a catalyst for any big issues at all, right?

Assuming stuff is properly tagged, it's your own responsibility for what you consume online. If you are under 18, this applies too. A lot of authors feel uncomfortable to sharing their work with minors, which is completely fine, and they are in the right to do that. If you still continue to read a story (or in the case of AO3, click "accept" when the warning pops up that a story might include adult themes (graphic description of violence, sex, language, whatever, really): then it is on the minor (or the parents who didn't oversee their child's internet activity). Authors are not their parents or guardians. If minors have unrestricted access to the internet (which I am not sure they should have, at least not when you're 12 or something, but then again: I'm no one's parent), then all you can do is learn by experience. You lie and pretend you're older than you are? You click "understand" and read a story that involves adult themes?

If you do all that, despite the site's warning or the author's warning, then you do not get to complain that the story is intended for people who are older than you, have more media literacy and critical thinking skills to be able to differentiate between fiction and real life or the fact that the story contains adult themes — as it was tagged. WHATEVER adult themes are included.

Trying to censor stuff or illegalize things only because YOU subjectively think they are wrong or immoral or whatever opens the door to a lot of dangerous effects that we, in a civilized society, had to work hard to bounce back from in the past — historically speaking.

Some countries still have major restrictions and censorship of stories, books, and whole websites (that do not harm people) and it was often possible to implement such laws and censorships because it was argued (in the beginning) that it was for the protection of young people or because all porn is inherently bad or stuff like that. Then, it opens the doorway to a lot of other censorship, and then it's too late or very, very hard to reverse.

Idk, there are just so many things wrong with the notion of "anti-shipping" or "I wanna censor shit you read/write because I don't like it/think it's immoral" and, personally, it just rubs me the wrong way.

God, I can already feel people starting a discussion or blocking me or unfollowing me or whatever. And you know what's the beauty of it? You can do that — because we, luckily, have the power and responsibility to be in charge of what content we actively consume online. :)

P.S. I shouldn't have to say this, but obviously (as stated) my take on all of this only applies to fictional characters. Writing SA stories on real, existing people (celebrities or not) is not okay.

Feel free to ignore this, feel free to jump in to discuss this topic like adults, idc, really :D Just wanted to voice my thoughts to the vast void of the interwebs

Also: feel free to help educate me if you think I lack background information or stuff.

[t00nyah]

so. i was very bored. and on character ai there's an alternate timeline ai that can come up with things that could happen and such. so i was like. okay let's go wild let's make an au were octarians won the great turf war. so there it is, an au created with ai deciding what would change in characters' lives, what would they end up doing, and, of course, me finilazing it with my headcanons and adding some flavour to some of ideas.

so. yep. octarians won, and, just like in original series, the losing side, inklings, are living in the domes. in my head they still have the great zapfish, while octarians go into a more sci-fi direction and make their own power sources. inklings are...kind of almost erased from their history. i don't know why it clicked in my head, it just did, maybe there's a better way to implement things, okay. x)

onto the characters...

callie and marie didn't form a duet without contest and end up having the most ordinary jobs. i know, right?

callie is a teacher and marie is a journalist! i personally really loved callie as a teacher and i'm just. yeah. marie. you know. marie had me suffering.

i would have design notes here but there's not much to tell so if there's something catching your eye that you think might mean something - it probably does. idk.

i took pearl's money. that's right. now she's forced to work as barista. by me. i want you to know that it was VERY hard to decide what would pearl do now that i stole her money but holy fuck coffee shop aus got to me. (i'm also very proud of the logo i came up with hehe)

alright. so. there's a hard one. and by that i mean in my headcanons three's family is ... one of those traditional families ... you know what i mean. so... here goes kaori, using she/her and having a big identity crisis she's not really able to solve. a little hard when you're not so sure what to make out of it and don't know if you can tell anyone how you feel. kaori does not like when adults make the distinction between girl things and boy things, she's not that into skirts honestly, she's just wearing it to please her parents. kaori is studying to become a scientist to work on improving life in the domes. that's good, right?

speaking of scientists, of course there's an extraordinary - marina ida. we all know marina, she's too smart for all of us. she's helping in multiple researches and is very widely known. (and also gets lots of MONEY for that). *re-reads ai's entry on marina and looks away* UMM okay i totally forgot that part where she's also a professor in university. WELL NOW I KNOW the context to something else. maybe.

so, eight... nana in this au *looks at coroika*, is a student (idk, highschool maybe...i dunno i dunno i think i messed up) who got a bit carried away with a project. and started her research on inklings, because there's a theory going among the historians that the inklings still do exist... so nana, as a very passionate when she has interest octoling, goes to explore on her own! she gets into the domes and meets kaori eventually, who's...got a good eye on weird features and recognises nana as an octoling. not exactly friendly at first, but what can a squid like her do anyways?

eventually they kinda get stuck along because nana wants to KNOW. kaori just desides to go against her better judgement and give her a tour. and leads her to the best coffee shop she knows. they bond with each other eventually and become friends :) and nana works hard to get heard and get inklings to surface somehow maybe, though it doesn't seem like they want it THAT much? i mean, they're established their society already, why would they? they be chillin'. (but yes kaori gets to see the surface FOR SURE.)

i REALLY didn't want to leave four alone on her introductory pic poor lonely squid</3 so there she is! surume, that one school student who's drawing on each lesson(me). she's also *looks at ai's statement* is popular on social media for her art.

she doesn't really meet kaori that often, but when their class goes to see a college where kaori studies, you know, to show their possibilities, where they could go after school or something like that, so they sort of...know of each other? very awkwardly and formally have met each other? kaori will probably die of embarassment when sees surume again because thinks she made a bad impression? lol!

if you follow me you may have noticed that i'm projecting my gender crisis on three hard and usually the one they're consulting with is four... and it stays true to this au, i really want kaori to talk things out and, ay, it's way easier to open up to a stranger sometimes. so yeah. i think it will happen in my au. surume explaining kaori all the stuff about gender identity and sexuality because there's a little more of society pressure in this au... they'll get there eventually.

bonus: ref for marina in her regular clothing! she's so pretty...

another bonus: marina meeting a pretty barista...

so yeah. yeah. marina gets into the domes because nana has caught her interest with her project, so she meets pearl. because if pearlina doesn't happen the universe will explode and we all know that.

also there were doodles i made on our first wbf that you now know the context for :]

thank you for reading this far! it was... a long one... yep. i also really want to thank everyone who's following me fr fr i'm very happy to get feedback and to know that you enjoy my art! love ya'll<3 /p

separate versions under cut

[intertexts]

goodevening I am no longer in the car and while I was in the car I was thinking about new haven wards so I'm invading your inbox. I mean. mostly just about interpersonal dynamics and not power things so technically this is just thinking about pd. but in the context of worm world.

uhmmmmm sitting in the wards base. I think they spend. all of their time out of costume there. none of them really have. family to go home to (with the exception of . william and ashe but I don't imagine they exactly WANT to spend time at home. considering.) so they spenddd all day every day out of costume with each other. i think william and dakota were paired together first and they just naturally clicked with each other right away because they balanced out each other's energy pretty well. hence the extreme codependency qpr. then vycnent joined and he was a little prickly at first bc he didn't rlly know the city or what he was doing there or what his powers were and maybe he already had a habit of distancing himself from people due to the nature of his powers. but obv he comes around eventually and william has his gay little crush and here they are sitting smushed together in the same arm chair watching a movie on the big tv together. dakota is snoring honk shoo style. then WAYYY later ashe joins and william is the prickly petty one. dakota takes to him rlly fast just bc dakota loves everyone very loudly and easily. vyncent took a little longer but appreciated ashes chill personality so clicked with that pretty quickly. william had a one sided rivalry with ashe for a little bit and didn't trust him. however now they are ride or die emos and will parallel play by sitting leaning on each other back to back on the couch doing completely separate activities and not speaking to each other. the new haven wards literally always have to be touching each other in some capacity when out of costume amazon listing do not separate they have SUCH BAD separation anxiety please

also side note about wibby I have some Thoughts about why his last name is bell and not wisp and I'm going to keep this simple and spoiler free but just know there is MORE to this. eventually. i think it's because. grew up in the worm equivalent of deadwood which is a rlly small town in the middle of nowhere which means it doesn't rlly have a strong Cape Presence. so after his trigger event and his family finding out abt his powers (bc i think they Would) his parents push him to join the wards in new haven, because his older brother david already lives there, so he can just go live with david !! easier to separate his hero identity from his parents who he loves if he changes his last name to the same as the brother he's living with in the city. smile. not going to get too into that rn

side note SIDE NOTE bc I just read about them again. do u think wibby retains some subconscious knowledge about the . extra dimensional trigger event being. I dont think he would Remember it per se but. maybe he gets really weird recurring nightmares about it sometimes. and doesn't think anything of it bc it's just SO weird and incomprehensible. this stance may change once I read abt what those things actually ARE but for now. I like to make my favorite characters suffer <3 NO WAIT MAYBE ITS DAKOTA WITH HIS CANON NIGHTMARES. IDK. YOU KNOW MORE ABOUT THIS THAN ME. WHY CAN MISS MILITIA REMEMBER THEM >:|

NEW HAVEN WARDS... SAVE ME NEW HAVEN WARDS.... ok. under the cut so this doesnt get a mile longer 3

ILL OVER THEM!!!!! DO NOT SEPARATE!!! which means of course i have been thinking so hard about all of the reasons 2 separate them & make them miserable. it's gotta suck also being in school right?? since that's iirc a prerequisite of the wards. and the prt would Not be happy with "three distinctive looking clingy ass teenagers in the school everyone knows the wards go to who look exactly like the wards on tv." lmaoo. high school hell Has to stay its so necessary <33 also. i have many many many thoughts on vyncent & how he grew up & his relationship to both his power & parahumans in general but we will get into that once we also get into wibby!!!!

but. yeah. usually when i think of other media in worm lens i immediately go "alright how can i make this dynamic as unpleasant as possible..." it's honestly really fun 2 Not be doing that & instead just putting them all through the blender in various ways. i mean. they still have a fucking insane dynamic at least one of them has to have brutalized some minor thug for hurting someone i think. it's so fun thinking abt how that desperate extreme codependency translates to on shift where their job is throwing themselves into the meat grinder & getting hurt & shit.

IM. SO EXCITED FOR BELL SHIT. im so hyped. love this i'm sure william living with his brother!! ^_^ is incredibly unpleasant and a miserable experience for some fucking reason i will find out. yayyy <3

i thiiiiink. out of all of them. yeah. wibby would be most likely to be fixated on his trigger event. for sure <33 and also he has an insane memory! even if he didn't specifically remember it i think he would maybe know something. dakota still has nightmares but theyre just normal nightmares :-) several orders of magnitude worse though. of course. also HEYHEYHEY now u know my guys my best friends my rotten cheeses the slaughterhouse nine!!! u unlock [NH WARDS NOTE 1] !! which is. i think dakota's parents would have been killed via being victims of the s9 coming to town ^_^ this will be immediately worse for you after u read some more worm tomorrow!! anyway. anyway. 130 am for mee good NIGHT i loove them i love this dynamic so much thabk u. mac ghostiezone wards in my inbox u know its gonna b a good day!!!

[idiotmaggot]

so i went into the storage room, in my house, right. which is basically just full of a bunch of my parents old stuff. (every so often i just go in there to look around, its so fun) but anyway. today, my find was a keyboard. i only have a laptop, so just the laptop keyboard is all i usually use. but this keyboard is big and it clicks very loud.

my point is, i might make some more text posts in the coming days, just because i like typing on it. my other point is uhh if you are bored you should go look through your storage room. there is probably something fun in there.

i don't even know why there were so many keyboards in there, there is just like 4 or 5 of them, so i got to choose which one was my favourite hehe. but apparently my dad likes buying new keyboards. because he is the only one in my family who uses a keyboard, other than now me.

i also found some cassette tapes, but i have found out i think there is a problem with the thing i use to play them, because they sound all slow and weird. and it wasn't the cassettes problem because they all had the exact same problem. so i will probably have to get a new player.

and i should get into collecting cassette tapes because i already collect vinyl records and CDs. so why not. they are pretty cool. also just a silly thing, my school has banned phones this year, so imagine how silly it would be if i just got like a sony walkman and just used it at school so i can listen to music without my phone.

anyway. that was a lot of yapping. but I'm probably going to do it again tomorrow or something. because you know what? this is my blog and i can yap all i want. well i could not yap 251 times in one day. tumblr doesn't allow it. but i digress.

soon, I'm going to have this sort of stuff on my website. I'm gonna make a blog on there, once i get the layout figured out. (once my website has a bit more actually on it i shall link it in my pinned post so it is more available. i believe i posted about it before but that is buried somewhere, idk)

anyway yeah that's what i am thinking about today hope you enjoyed reading it

[lunar-years]

🕯️🍬🔪🌿 🍦 - for the writer ask game

🕯️ on a a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? why is that?

uhhh... 4? It's my least favorite part of the writing process because 1) I write out of order and am also a proponent of the 'Write Now Edit Later' method so sometimes when it actually comes time to edit the draft is roughhhh and it is a PAIN to wad through. also 2) I am someone who needs to read through my work approx. 5000 times before I feel ready to post it which is. a very annoying way to be. (and then I always find at least 3 more errors as soon as I click Publish anyway, lol.)

🍬 post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

Stranger Things: Steve Harrington's Dad is not abusive and Steve isn't chronically abandoned by him or whatever. They simply do not get along in a very normal father and teenage/young adult son kind of way where Steve thinks his Dad soooo doesn't understand him and is a corporate square bore and Steve's dad wants Steve to grow up a bit and take some responsibility. (Mind you, the only comments Steve makes about his dad in canon are like "oh no my dad made me get a job :(" or "oh no my dad is going to be pissed I threw a party with teenagers and beer when he was out of town :(" which are like...totally normal parent things?) I have NO idea why "Steve's Dad is at best neglectful and at worst physically and emotionally abusive" became "basically canon" for like 85% of this fandom but it drives me NUTS. I would just like it to be acknowledged as the headcanon it certifiably is, thank you.

Ted Lasso: Ted had the best possible ending for his character (in returning to Henry) and this was the natural culmination to the arc they'd been building for him for three seasons.

🔪 what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

uh, football ⚽️🤪

Jk jk lmao, I feel like I haven't written about anything that outlandish? Maybe that time I watched 15 minutes of Fast and Furious on Youtube so I could make it Jamie's favorite movie LOL.

Also, I currently have a tab open on how to help a recovering addict coming out of rehab (for Jamie father fic purposes) which isn't a *weird* topic by any means but would surely be alarming to my family members were they to open my laptop haha.

🌿 give some advice on writer's block and low creativity

switch stories!! Career Fic exists because I got bad writer's block on Jamie Father Fic. And now that I'm stumped on chapter 2 of Career Fic, I'm back to Jamie Father Fic! Also don't be afraid to write out of order. If I'm writing a fic because of one (1) fleshed out scene I have in my head meant to be the stories climax, I simply write that first. Don't force yourself to start at the beginning just because you think you ought to!

Also...if writing is a hobby for you, treat it as such and don't force yourself to write if you're not feeling it. Deadlines are arbitrary and your story will still be there tomorrow! and keep it fun (i like sitting down with a glass of wine or a pot of tea and a blanket to make it cozy as I write 🥰)

🍦 name three good things about a character you hate

uhhh idk what characters I hate apart from the characters I'm meant to hate LOL.

James Tartt Sr:

Gave us Jamie

Is the 1/2 of the Equation for why Jamie exists

the actor who plays him was really hot when he was younger (just like Jamie) 🤪

Writing Ask Game

[galaxythedragonshifter]

I guess a rant or something idk.

I'm just gonna be kinda ranting a bit, so this post is probably going to be extremely long, lmao. So apologies. 😅 Also, TW: lots of serious stuff like abelism, Aphobia, kidnapping mention, r*pe culture, ect. Please be safe and click away if any of these are triggers!

I also apologize for posting something so serious, but I needed to get a lot of my anger off of my chest.

I think one of the biggest problems in today's society is basic respect. I've noticed a lot of disrespect and needless Aphobia, abelism, racism, sexism, ageism, and a lot more going around in almost EVERY community.

A lot of it is just...needless insulting and just commenting unnecessary things that had no business being there. It's happening on Instagram and YouTube probably even more than ever recently (I don't remember it being as toxic as it is now), and people are just...rude in general.

People don't seem to know how to mind thier own business and quit insulting random people on the internet. Who cares if another person doesn't want to continue their bloodline? It's literally none of your business unless the person wants to disclose that information.

Who cares if someone is Aroace. Doesn't mean you have to be butthurt about it. "Just say you're single". How about you can it and leave people alone?

Someone on Instagram posts about their experiences being an autistic person? "You're not autistic. You can talk and function." And you're not a doctor, nor autistic yourself, but here we are.

Just a few weeks or so ago (maybe a month idk), I had at least two people badgering me online about me not wanting to continue my bloodline, and saying "just donate sperm." Despite the fact that I mentioned I was female twice. It had started out as an "As an Aroace, this is an absolute win" comment on a YouTube poll. I had gotten a few innocent inquires, and I politely explained, only for them to turn more "aggressive". (A more accurate way to put it would be "insulting") They were full grown adults too. It makes me really concerned that a minor is more mature than a full grown adult who should've known better.

It's super concerning that I know how to respect people's boundaries more than full grown hecking adults. It's terrifying.

On another post, there was a girl talking about her story where her parents had signed her up for a Wilderness "Therapy" Camp. She was kidnapped, taken to said camp, str*p searched, forced to survive in freezing temperatures, her shoes were taken so she couldn't run, she was told she was only going to be there for 7-10 weeks; she was there for 13, she was taken to another location for 3 months, than taken to a third location for 9, and was only able to see her brother in person for four days.

At least 80% of the comments were downright disrespectful and disgusting. "Quit making yourself the victim." "You were probably sent there for a reason." Ect. It's disgusting, it's disrespectful, it's invalidating. Sometimes I'm not even sure why people saying that stuff think it's even a relatively ok thing to even bring up.

People need to learn to (excuse my language) shut the fuck up, get off their high horses, and and get the fuck over it. People are acting like entitled assholes, and it needs to stop. They need to stop thinking that the world revolves around them. Because guess what, it doesn't.

Even further is the r*pe culture stuff. "Were they wearing anything provocative?" "Were they drunk?" Ect. Shut up. They never said "yes" in a confident and clear mind, so keep your fudging hands to yourself. Just because someone is showing a little bit of their kneecaps does NOT give you permission to touch them, grope them, ect.

Why do people like this feel the need to say things like this? Why do people feel the need to be invalidating other people's experiences and traumas? Why do they feel like they have the authority to control another person's decisions and choices??

(and these are the same people who call the younger generations "snowflakes" for fighting for better work/life balances and better pay to accommodate for inflation)

Again, I'm sorry for the slightly more negative post. I just felt that this issue needs to be talked about somewhere.

[seiwas]

your boyfriend is your highschool sweetheart??? sel that is so cute im 😿😿😿what was your first date like!!! what did you do!!!

I WANNA talk about my boy best friend bc i love him sm 🥹🥹🥹we met during our freshman year of high school and we went to a small nerd school,, we both happened to be the only freshmen in the sophomore math honors class bc we both tested into it and i first i saw him as an enemy bc i thought i was supposed to be the only freshman!!! i wanted to be special!!! also i was kinda mean and he never took anything super seriously so we had that very joking dynamic and we never payed attention in class (me and another guy would always draw dicks and weed leaves over his notes and programmed an automatic dick-drawing graph on his calculator and that was the entire year)

but we became really good friends because we were the only freshmen and we bonded over that, but we started to get really close around junior year bc we finally started developing actual personalities and stuff, and the only class we had together was physics but he made it so fun and so comfortable, he brought his own lunch every day but he always walked me and stood with me in the lunch line so we could spend more time together 🥹

and during senior year his classes ended early but he'd wait until my classes were over so we could get a quick lunch before my lab every week! i had really strict parents so we couldn't hang out super often outside of school, he even switched his schedule around for me for our second semester so we could actually have a class together (we were definitely super loud in class i feel like everyone definitely were either annoyed at us or really enjoyed listening into our conversations) and now that we're in college we see each other less but we're trying to find more ways to hang out together

and when we were signing each other's yearbooks he wrote like four paragraphs about how much he appreciated me and i was just like 🥹 'cause he's a guy and he doesn't talk about his feelings that much and i just felt so loved and he definitely wrote the most in my yearbook out of everybody

BLIKE usually boys (esp in high school) don't really become friends with girls unless they have ulterior motives in my state but IDK i've never clicked with a guy as much as i've clicked with him, he's made it so clear that he'd never want anything romantic from me which i really appreciate bc a lot of guy friends that i've had usually end up confessing and im like 🧍‍♀️we don't talk about a ton of personal stuff a lot of the time but he's always super understanding when i need to talk to someone and super supportive like he's just SO easy to be with, when people say girls and guys can't be friends 'cause one usually wants something more with the other it's just not true !!

he's been dating this really nice girl for a couple months now (which lowkey caused so much tea in our friend group it's such a long story) so i try not to hang out with him alone a ton of the time, but we're gonna hang out this week and go to a research get-together thing!! it's been a little bit less than two weeks since i've last saw him so i'm super excited

also chanyeol looks so good in his teaser!!! i kinda wish it was an album or something but :((

-alexis (@kissxcore)

alexis!!! so happy to see you here!!!! 🥺 welcome to the sleepover!!! ✨

let's have a sleepover!! 💗 send me any questions/stories you wanna share!!!

and yes omg jsksksbz my bf is technically my hs sweetheart 😭 and oh gosh our first date? hmm we used to hang out a lot one-one before we got together so what constitutes as a date has always been a bit blurred for us 😭 (i think our dynamic is very best friend-y!) but!!! the first time we went out for dinner after getting together was this one night after we both went to different parties!

we met up after and found this small ramen place along the street and ate there until like 12mn or smth 🥹 that was it!! nothing too fancy 😭 ever since, i think i can count on my one hand the number of times we’ve been on actual ‘dates’ just bc we hang out so much and prefer to chill at home more than anything 😭

but your story omg 🥺 your boy best friend!!! that is so cute alexis 🥺 your dynamic sounds so funny aksnsj and not you hating his ass at the start bc of that rivalry 😭✋🏼 that automated dick drawing on his calculator is so real too 😭 the best high school friendships are truly the ones that get u in trouble for talking too much in class 😭

‘bc we finally started developing personalities’ HELP & he sounds like such a sweet person alexis omg 🥺 how he’d bring lunch but still walk you to get yours lIKE ?!?!?! so you could spend more time together!! and how his classes ended earlier than yours but he’d still wait for you WTHEK 🥺 AND!!! how he switched schedules around with you omg??? + that fact that you feel comfortable and safe w him!!! a friendship to treasure!!! 🥺💗

and your yearbook oh gosh four paragraphs!! that’s so sweet alexis 🥺 i super get what you mean aisnsj not a lot of boys tend to write/express themselves a lot so that must feel really special 🥺

and you’re so right abt boys in high school and ulterior motives!! & i’m glad that you both have been clear w each other that it isn’t like that at all!! i think feeling at ease and supported in any type of relationship is so important 🥺 so happy you found that with him!! and tbh i agree!! how it isn’t true that guys and girls can’t just be friends 😭 i super get what you mean!! i have a lot of friends who are guys 😭

and omg i'm so glad he found a really nice girl!! 🥺 he deserves it with how sweet he is!! are you good friends with her too? how does she feel about you being close to him? (and omg the tea in the friend group 😭 what happened....) & AAAAH i'm so excited you're going to be reunited!! nothing beats the feeling of being with your best friend after a long, long time 🥺

i think i can kind of relate!! bc while my bf is technically my best friend, some of my other closest friends are guys too!! (who are also really close to him, they're in his hs friend group!! now we have a small subgroup of me, my bf, my bf's best friend, and one of his good childhood friends) it's funny & cool bc i had formed individual friendships with them at first, not knowing that they were all good friends with eachother until we all just started hanging out together 😭 oh!! i even have the same birthday as my bf's best friend 😭

we have very sibling dynamics i think 😭 one as my little brother and the other as one my age 😭 the one i see as a little brother was a bit of a troublemaker back in high school, we all found out on the day of his graduation that he'd be walking and i think almost burst into tears omg 😭 & even up until college, i was always getting phone calls late at night abt him being wasted af somewhere, so i'd worry and make arrangements for him to get home safely 😭 he also had a super toxic ex gf who was jealous of me omfg 😭 (but it's so weird bc she was my friend for literal yEARS before they got together) (thats why i ask about if you're good friends with your bestfriends current girlfriend!! bc that's all i could ever want omg... for me to be close to my friends's gf's too 🥺)

all this to say that!! i think my heart expands every time i think of them and our lil friend group! bc! a part of me feels like, those are My Boys, y'know? they're both so nice and thoughtful 🥺 i always have these one-on-one brunch/coffee-chat updates with them about life every now and then, and they always offer to be my ride if we're going somewhere with our friends!! when i was ldr with my bf, they were really there to keep me company too 🥺

this got so long i'm sorry i love gushing abt my friends hsdbajs omg but thank you so much for sharing alexis bb 🥺 i hope your day with your bestfriend is good!! 💗

[naejigo]

Starting a "journal" here just because.

Entry 1, Dec 6 2022

Nae here reporting,

Nobody will probably see this but that's okay cause I'm doing this for me.

A lot of things happened the last week or two. It overwhelmed me a lot. It started off because of my own ignorance, which hurt a lot of people. I like to think that I tried. I just can't find anything that can help me understand, I think?? Because I use autocorrect always, so when I'm reading English I don't actually know how these words connect but if it makes sense, then it makes sense.

This time it doesn't. Because clinical things kinda always come with overly formal words, big words and weird ways where words make sense, well not to me, English is not my first language and idk how I even got this good, whenever people irl ask me how do I get so good at English I honestly don't know what to say because how I learned it is just so... Weirdly my way. It just clicks. Idk. Uhhhh getting off track here, anyway, one thing leads to another and honestly, I think I made it worse without realizing it. Because I was so emotional. I was so emotional... And I just exploded and that, caused a huge misunderstanding and that overwhelmed me so much that I deleted all of my social media.

But somehow that kinda benefits me, because I decided then that maybe it's time to get help.

So yesterday I booked an appointment for a clinical assessment and paid for it in full (and in secret because my parents would disown me if I as much as mention mental illness to them /srs) anddddd it's now confirmed for next week, and then after that I'll attend the actual assessment session/sessions, which I'm going to have to pay separately.

Idk what's wrong with me exactly but I know something is wrong and that something definitely connects to my upbringing and "what's normal" for me, who is 19 and only form of social connection is EXCLUSIVELY my family in real life. So like, trauma.

My family is openly ableist, homophobic and racist. And I've always been sheltered growing up. I got denied multiple times by my mom to attend therapy, so like, I think I've just been living... In fear. And that fear overwhelmed my entire existence so much that I can't even learn about things like, I'm queer but I always found myself asking other queer people about...well, about queer stuff. I don't... I don't google because google just... I can't process google because the way google explain is not the same as people who are actually queer if that makes sense?? Like... Google isn't literal?? Idek how to explain this, I'm sorry.

The thing is that... I believe my actions weren't on purpose. Because I genuinely feel like I don't understand and I'm incapable of understanding without like verbal communication or something, like active communication? Does that make sense? I hope so because it makes sense to me. I'm not used to being in a queer space or neurodivergent space despite being both because um, I'm kind of a bit of a boomer tbh when it comes to internet so like yeah... Yea. Uh and the only actual social interactions I've ever had in my 19 years of living are exclusively with my family members, THAT becomes what is normal to ME. So when I come online and start interacting with fandoms (started doing so at age 18, I was not in fandom spaces before that age, yeah I know it's kinda lame 🥹) it's like a whole bomb exploding in my face.

Things online are very different from what I know in real life which is inherently full of hatred and negativity towards things I identify as and all that. So I think.... I think I've always just needed help.

I'm getting that help now, and I really hope I can figure it out soon because idk what else to do since I'm currently staying away from social media and my family is definitely not an option to ask for help or even understanding from. So I'm going to have to just... Rely on therapy fully. And maybe myself. Idk.

I really need you to know that this is just, I'm writing this for me, I'm trying to regulate my emotions and formulate my thoughts, this is all very messy, and I probably words some things badly but I'm really incapable of properly writing shits down right now. Idk. If you read all of these well uh hello and welcome to my journal I guess, I'm recording my daily thoughts here from now on. I heard it could help, plus this account is pretty much dead and collecting dust now so.

[obiternihili]

I'm pretty anti-natalist but the instinct hit me in my late 20s.

It's like

Biology kind of argues that animal behavior is explained by the four Fs: fighting, fleeing, feeding, and mating.

Conceiving of our drives in light of evolution, without getting too evopsych-y, happiness is probably when we're most satisfied with those.

So like a lot of people who suffered sexual repression whether due to their own upbringing or their experiences end up feeling extremely liberated and "alive" when they discover an accepting community, it's kind of like that but further down the line.

I guess straight trads experience that in the confinds of their own marriage and it leads to them wanting families that way. Don't really understand it for them to be honest, I can't imagine it working for even the ones that are normal straight dudes except for a very small minority.

But like I guess a lot of it's like - I'll never quite be free of my insecurities but I've fought them enough that it seems reasonable that I could prove my inner demons wrong. It's also a thing like the whole serenity prayer they push at AA/NA meetings, about accepting what can't be changed, and changing what can be. So it adds up to about three decades of work that says I deserve normalcy, banal happiness, etc.

There's also a bit of fear because, like, the older you get the more problems you bring on your kids. Like mental illnesses and disabilities, physical disabilities, everything. Even as the father. And there's a fear that if you're not accepted when you're young and can learn you'll never have the skillsets for a proper life.

There's an element of it that's like, survival instinct is kicking in. Like you're gonna die. But for some reason it feels like surviving if your kids do. This is more true if you're part of an ethnicity that's actively at risk - Jews, Armenians, Tigray, Uyghur, etc. Not that I'm any of them. So this brings in feelings of hope.

But mostly it's like, all of sudden the idea of teaching basic concepts to little ones became interesting. All of a sudden watching developmental pathways and the whole concept of providing developmentally appropriate play in this era of ipads and the death of tv and so on seems interesting. Feeding a child and exploring new foods with them seems interesting. Taking them to things, showing them the world, helping with easy math. Idk.

No idea or explanation why. It doesn't really make sense. Just one day brain clicked.

Of course then reality hits. What if they're hit with a serious malformation? What if they get leukemia or emphezema or something? What if they're bullied like you were and have to live with depression for basically their entire lives? What if they're fundamentally a bad human being? What if Russia goes nuclear? What if they're gay or trans and we lose? What if you make the mistakes your parents did? What if you make horrific new ones?

Also you're [I'm] some furry faggot who can't even decide if he's gay or bi or what, you're not normal you don't get to do normal and never will for a very wide range of reasons. especially the ones you're not comfortable talking about even anonymously.

You don't even have a job or any experience to attract a spouse let alone provide for a family what are you thinking

etc

Some people that I know, both IRL and on here, talk about this desire to have kids not as like an abstract thing (which I share—all going well I'd love to have kids some day), but as like an almost primal urge. Like "baby fever"; they viscerally Want A Kid Now. I've never experienced this, and I'm really curious what it feels like? It seems very strong and I assume that it's like, you know, at least in a part a monkey brain thing. So I am very curious what it feels like.

[menaceofabean]

OKAY SO, an AU but it's a Monster/Hybrid Farm AU, cause why not?

Imma share my thoughts and ideas here so click read more since it gon be long and there are going to be a few suggestive things in there, so minors, do me a favor, do not interact. This is PART 1 of it.

SO! You bought this farm from a family, who could not keep it any longer since none of them wanted to take it over after their parent passed away. You took it over without knowing that it was technically a farm filled with monsters/hybrids. Imagine your surprise when one of the family members showed you around and introduced you to them one by one. Some were friendly while the others were a bit unsure of you.

Thatch - Grizzly Bear

- Listen, I thought about this for too damn long alright. (pls I just wanna call him papa bear cause I'm cheesy like that, alright?) Thatch looks like a normal human being except he's a bit hairier and towers over you than an average male height.

- The family member told you that he was a skin-changer and goes briefly into detail that he transforms into a large ass grizzly bear that could be sometimes seen wandering around. (think beorn from the hobbit)

-Ironically, he's the beekeeper on the farm. Though mind you the bees aren't that tiny, they're about 1 or 2 inches big. ANYWAY! He's in charge of the honey even selling them and occasionally the kitchen.

- Lemme tell you, this man flirted with you as soon as you stepped into his side of the farm. Hell, he even pressed a kiss on the back of your hand. He had not once let go of your hand while the family member talked.

- ooof, his voice, he has a bit of a rumble when he speaks and has that soothing southern accent. He's already giving you nicknames. He pouted when you and the family member had to move on to the others around the farm.

-"I reckon I'll be seein' you 'round more, sugar cube." *wink*

Marco - Phoenix

- Pfftt, obviously, WHAT ELSE?! Though no, yeah, I thought about changing him to another type of bird, but then decided nah, we're going with our basics lol. (though I did have a thought of him being a rooster *snickers* Oh, what a sight that'll be. Him just cawing at the top of his lungs on the roof)

- Again, like Thatch, he looks normal until you see some turquoise feathers peeping out from underneath the half unbuttoned shirt he wore. The family member again briefly explains that he was kinda like Thatch and that he was the head medic on the farm.

- Sleepy blues and a breathtaking smile, woof

- He's giving you the "bedroom eyes" as once again the family member rattles on.

-His hand is so soft and smooth, wtf?? hand over the routine, sir.

- Like Thatch, he has not let go of your hand, seriously, these whores ajdfhkjadf

- He's so damn smooth even when he talks, it almost sounds like a siren luring you into a warm embrace and promising comfort. Ooohh, he's definitely going to be the death of you.

- "Welcome to the farm, I hope to get to know more about you." smooth motherfucker

Sabo - Dragon

- Once again, another basic. Thought of others but decided well, Sabo can be feral from time to time and occasionally get angry if poked a certain way.

- Sabo was way obvious. The deep blue scales lining his face, arms, his pointy ears, and horns were, of course, the giveaway.

-He was a bit miffed with you since he doesn't trust new people and thought the worst about you but hid it underneath that "nice" exterior yet the bite he had underneath his words kind of peeved you.

- The family member apologizes for his behavior and quickly explains the reasoning which sort of made you relax. Sort of.

-I haven't really thought much about what role he would partake in, I figure he would do something along the lines of patrolling the farm to keep any unwanted "visitors" out and predators. Idk yet.

- He needs a little more time on coming around to trust you. Gotta prove it to him, though he'll work with you to get a job done. dayyumm sexual tension automatically.

- He has an English accent though you can't seem to decipher which part of England he's from since he hides it very well. He never says why.

- "I look forward to working with you."

Anyway, that's about it for now, I would love to hear from y'all about some input or ideas! I love reading them 😊