#idk the line wouldn't leave me alone so I word vomited

[donthitanybody]

You Can Forgive All You Want, But Your Body Never Forgets

The house was dark and peaceful, with her adult children sleeping soundly in their rooms. There would be no doctors checking in on her at odd hours tonight. The bed under her was soft and invited sleep. Softer than her bed at the hospital. But try as she might, she could not fall asleep. Quietly, she laid still for hours, but sleep did not come to her. She was in no danger; she was safe at home for the first time in a decade. The hours dried out her eyes, and she could feel fatigue seeping into her bones. She willed herself to pass out from the exhaustion.

She felt the tendrils of sleep slowly take her away from reality, when she felt her husband shift in his sleep next to her. Adrenaline flooded her veins, and she was wide awake once more. Minutes ticked by. He remained asleep, and she relaxed. She had forgiven her husband. Knew he wasn't the same man from ten years ago. He had not shown any indication that he would relapse into that man. So, why could she not sleep next to him?

You Can Forgive All You Want, But Your Body Never Forgets

[izzystradlinswife]

Old Habits

Pairing: Tom Keifer x Reader

Anon req: Could you do a very angsty tom keifer fanfic? if you're taking requests :)

A/n: I love writing angsty things, i finished at 3, so if there's any mistakes, I'm sorry in advance.

Word count: 1k

Warning: alcohol consumption, swearing, angry Tom, crying -idk what to tw on this one so if I missed something tell me!

Summary: In every rockstar's life, there's the downfall, and when Tom hit his, you stood by his side until you couldn't anymore.

Tom had been using this coping mechanism since high school, and honestly, early in your relationship, it hadn't been this bad.

Now, his habit of using drugs and alcohol to cope with his feelings had your already faltering relationship to completely fall through this time.

This hasn't been the first night where he had left you alone saying something under his breath as he slammed the front door behind him and it broke your heart to see him in such an awful place where he couldn't rely on anyone to share his emotions with. That feeling of care floated away when he would come home completely intoxicated, smelling strongly of alcohol and then passing out on the couch hoping he wouldn't choke on his vomit as his body attempted to rid the vodka from his body.

○○○

You were waiting for an incapacitated stumbling Tom to come home in an already bad mood. You were left there sitting on that same old couch you had bought together when you first moved in, when you fell so madly in love with him and his passion for music. But now you were abandoned with your thoughts, not sure what to think of the situation.

Tears stinging your water line your eyes welling up, realization slowly flooding through that the love that was so strong, that bonded the both of you together was flowing farther and farther away with each tear that fell down your red swollen cheeks. Your palms came up to rub at your teary eyes. You knew this was the last time you would see him. It was devastating knowing that after all this time, it was over, but this was really the best for the both of you.

Like clockwork, all your contemplation came to an abrupt stop as you heard the fumbling of keys as he tried to fit it in the little lock. Incoherent mumbles followed after as he slowly twisted the knob, you stood up as ready as you could be.

"Hey baby" he slurred drunk, passed any reasonable manner. "Tom, we need to talk, and I know this isn't the best time, but it needs to be said." Your voice wobbled through the whole sentence, tears threatening to spill out again. You doubted he would understand what you were saying until you were leaving. "Cmon baby, we can talk tomorrow morning. Let's jus go t' bed" he tripped over his own feet nearing your shaking body.

This hurt was so much worse than any other hurt you felt because if you waited like he said you wouldn't go through with it. With Tom, his mood was like a switch being flipped. If he was sober right now he would be acting so differently, promising all these open ended deals that would pull at your heartstrings so devastatingly hard that you would agree to just hoping that he would be true to his outrageous lie.

Your friends and family had started to notice the impact it started to leave on you as you so desperately wanted him to get better in the end. As he got worse, you slowly fell with him.

"No, Tom, I'm sorry I can't do this anymore. I've tried, I really have but you won't listen and we don't even talk to each other" you didn't want to bring up anything about love yet you weren't even sure how he was going to react.

"Why, what are you saying?" He said barely above a whisper. It was almost like he found it in himself to somewhat sober up after the words left your mouth. "Are you fucking kidding me?" He raised his voice slightly, his figure slightly shaking at the thought of losing you. It wasn't that he lost the love for you but he lost passion for everything he loved. He didn't know what to do and his only clear option was to take his anger elsewhere to spare your emotions.

"I'm fucking trying my best here I don't know what to do or say anymore don't you see that I'm trying to make this" stopping himself from finishing his sentence you heard his throat closing up trying to keep his own tears back.

"I'm sorry Tom I'm really sorry and I wish I could be here and help you but I can't make it any longer your dragging me down with you" you sobbed out you couldn't hold back any longer once you saw him lose composure the floodgates were open.

"Please, I promise I'll get better. I don't know what to do with my voice getting bad again. " he took another step to you, trying to reach out to just touch out to comfort you or maybe him no one knew.

The mix of his emotions had your next response to fumble you weren't sure what to say next. He never told you about why he had visited the doctors recently. You were left speechless. You started sentences but failed to get anything out. You stuck with the one thing you started with that night.

"Tom, I love you so much. You don't even know, but for this to work, you need to get better so I can." You let a shaky breath slip past your lips as you said what you feared. You grabbed the bag of your stuff next to you. He grabbed your wrist, trying to quickly persuade you to make an effort for you to stay. "Please honey, I need you." his body shook against you furiously. All vulnerability was out in the open weighing down the door.

"Don't make this harder on the both of us." You broke away from him, biting at the inside of your cheek. "Will you come back?" he looked at you through wet lashes. "M' not sure." With that, you opened the door and walked to your car, and your heart shattered as it fell through onto the floor with each step.

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