#idk man its like. i have such deep longing for the simplest of shit that makes me feel good and refreshed and alive

[un2-verse]

BILLY — Kim Taehyung (2)

pairing: taehyung x f reader

genre: horror au, yandere au, saw/john kramer au

synopsis: News of a Sadistic Serial Killer nicknamed “Jigsaw” is spreading around town like wildfire… the nickname stemming from the puzzle piece he cuts from every victim’s body. No one knows who he’ll trap next but in a town full of delinquents and criminals, it could never be you. Right?

warnings: mentions of suicidal thoughs, abusive relationships, stalking etc. dont read if triggered. there are some ?? fucked up things in this but idk what to word them. but also mentions of self harm/self hating thoughts.

wordcount: 2.2k

a/n: unedited so pls forgive me for any mistakes and lmk if u want to be added to a taglist^^

series masterlist

part one part three

You’d spent a couple of hours in the café with Taehyung. Jimin popped over every now and then to talk with his best friend and to make sure you had everything you needed while there.

When you left, Jimin wrapped his arms around you as he bid his farewell, “It was lovely to meet you Y/N! Please, don’t be a stranger!” You simply nodded your head as you pulled away from the hug. You grinned back at him as he moved to Taehyung. You opened the door, carefully stepping outside to leave the boys with some privacy.

Once the door shut Jimin’s smile beamed, “so she’s the girl you’re always talking about, Flower? Right?”

“Yeah she is, thanks for that though man but, I’ve gotta go. I’ll see you later?”

Taehyung smiled as he made his way towards you, you looked up and he swore, he saw a hint of nervousness in your eyes, probably because it’s dark, he thought to himself. “Come on then, let’s get you home.” He held out his hand, you were quick to grab a hold of it. Taehyung intertwined your fingers as he tugged you back across the road, “it’ll take about twenty minutes, you gonna be alright to walk?” he glanced down to you.

Your heart warmed at the way his eyes smiled with him, “I’ll be fine, thank you.” He seemed happy enough with your answer as you fell into a steady rhythm. You felt a little conflicted, you may not know Taehyung well but he had an energy about him that made you wanna spill every secret you knew, you’d shared pointless stories while you were at the café, having learnt Taehyung was a family oriented person, he loved art and he was passionate about little subjects other people would deem small. Yet he had a warmth that you’d not seen in anyone else.

Fuck it, you thought, he’s shown nothing but kindness, you may aswell open upto him… atleast.

“I was in an abusive relationship.” Taehyung felt himself smirk but quickly wiped it from his face, he arched an eyebrow as he looked down to you, “it was my first too. It left me, fucked up, in a way. Not that I wasn’t already fucked up.” Progress. He squeezed your hand in reassurance, go on… “I’ve always been insecure and uh, uncomfortable with the way I look. After that disaster of a relationship, it left me worse for wear.” you kept your eyes on the road, you didn’t want to see the judgement on his face yet it didn’t stop you from carrying on, “I never told my friends or family about it. None of them knew I was struggling before it anyway so I’ve been letting it tear me apart.”

“Why tell me then doll?”

You risked a glance at his face. There were no traces of judgement or pity. Swallowing down your nerves, you added softly, “I had to tell someone. Even if that someone is a random person— who showed me kindness when I needed it.”

Taehyung felt his heart clench, she’s already trusting me… this was easier than I thought. “Don’t feel like you need to tell me anything baby,” I already know it all.

You felt your cheeks burn from the pet name, how could something so simple, affect you this much? God, talk about a schoolgirl crush. “That’s the thing, I don’t feel like I need to. I just, I want to.”

Taehyung presented you with his boxy grin, “Then you can tell me anything you want, whether it's big or small.”

“Thank you Taehyung.” It was like the sun had shone down on you, the simplest gesture meant the world. Here you had a person willing to talk to you about your darkest secrets. A person willing to listen. Someone who had no ties to your family, which made it easier for the words to flow from you, “It’s like, I was this happy, care-free kid. I smiled without forcing it and when I laughed… I felt free. I didn’t feel like I was losing my breath. Not like I do now, everytime I do so much as breathe, it's like these roots have twisted around my lungs and everytime a breath escapes, they crush them tighter. It’s like a reminder. You’re never fully alive. You’re never fully happy. Pain overrides any other emotion. I’ve learned that, after all those years. I used to think, I’d never accept it.” A solemn silence fell over you. The roots squeezed your lungs even tighter as you whispered, “I’m scared of living.”

“Flower, some people are anchored to this world by their feet, others by their fears. You don’t have to voice it, I know you’re scared. You have your fears. Your demons. The thing you were doing at the cafe; is destructive. Anything that harms you, is destructive. Fuck, it may only be something as simple as picking your skin but that can lead into bigger things.”

It already has.

“Taehyung, I know that. I knew when it started but it helps, it lessens my anxiety. You’re the only one to have picked up on it. My friends… they don’t notice. If they do, they don’t mention it.”

Taehyung scoffed, “You really think anyone on this planet is your friend?”

Your mouth was sewn shut. You didn’t want to admit it but, there was some truth to his words.

You walked home in silence.

That night haunted you. It forced its way into your dreams. It clouded your thoughts when Yoongi and Hoseok were with you. When you’d spent time together, you were vacant. A soulless body. It was like a poison had found its way into your brain, second guessing relationships and people’s motives.

‘You really think anyone on this planet is your friend?’

Why were you letting it get in your head so much? You knew your friends. They were the only ones you felt safe with. They were your friends for a reason, they supported you (albeit sometimes they had a sense of… tough love) but they always had your back.

You didn’t mention Taehyung to Yoongi or Hoseok. You felt as though that was something that should be kept between you and him. Plus, the duo would’ve felt betrayed and upset by the fact you had wandered into foreign territory alone and found company in a complete stranger-- especially after they’d warned you about the whole Jigsaw shit.

To save the arguments, you went about your life as usual. You helped out your Mum with the flower shop, the array of flowers made you realise how the simplest things were beautiful. That of course, didn’t include yourself. Rancid thoughts clouded what was once, a tranquil space. Those god forsaken roots hadn’t lessened. Breathing was still difficult— as was pretending that you were absolutely fine.

You avoided mirrors, a quick glance could wreck your entire mood. You hated people taking photos of you, it made you scrutinise every single thing.

My nose is too big.

My chin is too round.

My face just shouts ugly.

My legs are disgusting.

My stomach is embarrassing.

My boobs are weird.

Not to say, you didn’t have these thoughts on the regular. However, the more you eluded your appearance, the voices lessened. You could ignore the way you looked, forget it completely. Often convinced yourself you were a plain person. The stereotypical norm: someone that no one would look twice at. It helped you get on with everyday tasks, it helped you ease the anxiety.

After all, every flower must grow through dirt.

But how would you react? If you knew, he had all the pictures of you?

Tuesdays you worked at your Dad’s garage. You didn’t know much about cars but you enjoyed his company. As well as spending time with Hobi and Yoongi. You often found yourself pranking the former with Yoongi, little jokes that luckily, didn’t piss Hobi off too much.

Today though, you were late. You’d had to spend more time trying to find the more appropriate clothing… you didn’t want people to see the slashed lines of red that littered your body.

After you messily threw an outfit together, you made your way down to the garage. You found your eyes trained on the silver Nissan Skyline, mouth agape as you collided into something.

You felt hands grab your shoulders, “Watch where you’re going,” Yoongi brought his hands to ruffle your hair, “gotta be careful while we’ve got that here kidda. That fuckers expensive.” He released a chuckle as you rolled your eyes, softly elbowing him out the way.

Your dad was under the bonnet, a box of tools were scattered around his feet. Organised mess, your Dad was infamous for it.

“Sorry I’m late Pops, what do you want me to do?”

Not even a second later, your Dad turned to face you, “Ah darling, not a lot while we’re working on this. Can you go make us some drinks?”

“Yeah course, I won’t be too long!”

You passed Hoseok on your way to the little kitchen situated at the back, he sent you a wink as he shouted across, “Coffee for me kidda!”

Three cups were spread in front of you. Americano for Yoongi, Coffee for Hobi and Cappuchino for Pops. Just as you were about to shout the guys, a presence had situated itself comfortably behind you. Before you had time to turn around, a deep baritone voice addressed you, “You not gonna ask me if I want a cup baby?”

You felt yourself still. You knew that voice. The voice that was haunting your dreams, even your wake.

You really think anyone on this planet is your friend?

Taehyung watched the way your body tensed, your shoulders stiffened, your breathing altered. Hm, she’s nervous. How cute.

“What are you doing here?” the words passed your lips, delivered as though they were encased in thorns.

A deep chuckle filled the room, “What do you think I’m doing here?” Taehyung inched closer, the atmosphere was almost palpable. You felt the way his chest brushed against your back, a sudden chill shot through you as he brought his hand up— which grazed against your skin whilst he moved your hair from your neck. His eyes turned hungry at the sight of your goosebumps. Your heart raced when he brought his head lower, lips next to your ear, “You think I’m here for you baby?” I am… but you don’t need to know that just yet.

You spun around, squashed between the table and Taehyung. Heat radiated off of him, how can he be so hot? It felt like you were in a furnace (while face to face with the Devil.)

Fear stricken, you tried to fight through it. Don’t show him. Don’t let him see. With a sarcastic smile plastered on your face you retorted, “Of course you are Taehyung. You tracked me down using the information I gave you and figured out which Garage is ours.”

The sarcasm was practically dripping from your tone like venom. Taehyung felt himself stifle a laugh.

You just didn’t know. In all fairness, you didn’t know anything. How would you know that Taehyung had done exactly that, except he’d done it months prior.

He lowered his head to yours, your hands raised to push him away but Taehyung wrapped his fingers around each wrist and tugged them to lay between you before you even had the chance to nudge him. You felt like you were stuck in a Venus fly trap.

“I’m not some type of sicko, doll.”

You were just a naive, misunderstood, little girl.

“I’m getting my car fixed. Your dad’s working on it right now.”

Your body visibly relaxed, releasing a breath you didn’t know you were holding. “Oh, the Skyline? Wait, you have a car and made us walk back to mine the other week?”

“I didn’t make you walk for the fun of it baby, my car is literally in the shop so obviously it was broken.”

Only, the car was perfectly fine when you met him those weeks ago. He had made the pair of you walk so he’d have more of a chance to speak to you and to touch you. The only way he could follow you around without being suspicious, especially at your dads work, was to have a somewhat reasonable excuse (which resulted in him messing with the engine). He knew although you’d shied away from him that night, he could easily win you back around.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry Taehyung. I’m also uh, sorry about how that night ended.”

“Don’t sweat it, I know what I said came off a little... weird but I didn’t mean any harm.”

With an angelic smile on your face in return, Taehyung knew that soon, that smile would morph into a grateful one. After all, he was going to help you.

Until a person is faced with death, it’s impossible to tell whether they have what it takes to survive.

Live or Die.

Your choice.

He had first seen you out and about last year. However, he had first heard of you when the guys working for him had slammed a file onto his desk, Subject #13 was scrawled on the top. Filled to the brim with pictures of you and everything about your life down to the littlest detail.

L/N Y/N— D.O.B 03.11.02— 19 years old.

Phone number: XXXXX.XXXXX

Female. Lives with parents at: 171 Norm Street, Falfield F91 7DW. Was outcasted at school but befriended a Jeon Jeongguk [19 years, male. 92 Carriers Road, Cressage CY5 3EA. XXXXX.XXXXX].

Ex partner is Kang Jaehyo. [23 years. Male. Abusive and manipulative, laid his hands on Y/N multiple times leaving bruises and scars. Sexual abuse was also discovered. Have been broken up for 4 months. 13 Walkers Drive, Falfield, F73 1DL XXXXX.XXXXX]

Y/N has suicidal ideations (as well as 7 attempts). Self harms by “cutting” “punching” and “scratching”. Diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety Disorder on May 13th 2016. Works at Toret Garage and Letty’s Floral. Both places owned by parents.

The web of lies and deceit had barely scraped the surface.

[chaotic-noceur]

regarding pragma.

read it here

Dear @softpedropascal

wow this took so much longer than I thought it would whoops.

So, first off- HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I hope you have the bestest day ever cuz you deserve it!

I’m incapable of forming coherent thoughts so um...here’s a cumulative post of my running commentary because my binge reading plans got disrupted so this seemed... neater? Idk. anyways, here you go. 

Part 1

No matter how many meetings and mediations you two went through, he still found a reason to keep dragging this out.

I read this as ‘meetings and meditations’ and was very confused for a sec 😂

That hat. You got him that hat. He still wore it?

omg u gave the hat a backstory. adkgadflhg 😍

He was tempted. God, was he tempted, but he shook his head and stood up straight. 

This just. Yes. We love a respectful man. 

I love all the little hints that you’re dropping about the reader and Frankie’s backstory. 

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Part 2

He told himself long ago that be would never forgive her for what she did,

WHAT DID I DO OMG.

“Can’t you, I dunno, sign for him?” he asked.

😂😂Frankie. Sweetheart. Who do you take me for? I can’t forge someone’s signature. I don’t have the skills for that. 

There was a reason he didn’t say goodbye. He was afraid to. He was afraid that if he said them again, he would have to go another five years without seeing her. Or has it been longer?

mY hEaRt

Pope and and Frankie’s ENTIRE interaction. 😍 I love that he can see right through Frankie’s bs, loves him anyways but will give it to him straight. 

He was too busy thinking about how if he had gotten his shit together, he could be living here with her, taking walks to his favorite lake every day.

asdfgadfkglhdf!!! Boo it ain’t all your fault 😢 (or is it 😏)

It’s funny how the simplest touch can cause the most complex feelings—feelings that he had sworn he buried deep inside of him somewhere. It was a complicated thing trying to be angry at her because in that moment all was forgotten and forgiven.

the DEPTH. in these sentences. oml. I’m so ready to learn about this complicated backstory.  

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Part 3

“I can make him sign ‘em,” he offered.

YES. I love a low key threatening boi.

“Yeah, until you decided I wasn’t good enough,” 

“Did you want to show me what I could have had with you if I wasn’t such a fuck up.” He sighed and put his hands on his hips.

AFGHSKF OMG MY HEART.

“I’m trailing water and mud all over the place but just remember that I saved your life before getting mad, okay?” 

“Nothing. Just like saying your name.”

ahhhh these are precious!!  

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Part 4

“Yeah. People do that right? Day dates?” He honestly wasn’t sure. Dates weren’t his forte.

🥺 someone help him. He’s so cute omg. 

“We might’ve made out a little too,” he mumbled.

aksfhksdfg look at him turning into a flustered boy!!!

“No. I just…stopped looking up,”

Babes. Idk if the double meaning was intentional but like. Wow. That hit hard. 

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Part 5

and has a name like ‘Bill’ or ‘Tom’.”

oop. We love a subtle Redfly dig 😂

!!!! IDK WHAT TO BLOCKQUOTE BUT OMG FRANKIE BEING PROTECTIVE. THE READERS BACKSTORY. FRANKIE KISSING AT THE PAST BRUISES. ANGRY FRANKIE OMG. 😭

I’m sorry there’s probably some more amazing stuff after that but t’was not a good ace day so i skipped the smut

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Part 6

You hid your body from him at first and when he moved your hands, you covered your face. Then he told you to never hide from him—he would always think you were beautiful

🥺🥺 this is so soft omg

sorry skipped the smut but im sure it was beautiful

“I’m not going anywhere.” You moved his arms so you could kneel in front of him. “I’m staying.”

*incoherent screaming*

“You can ask me for anything. I would give up everything I for you.”

The whole ending scene was AMAZING okay but this. This line right here. Big hurt omg. He knows the weight of what he’s saying. He knows how hard the road to recovery is and how many things are gonna try push him off that path. But he says it anyways. And it really really shows just how much she means to him. Brava! 

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Part 7

lmao I really need to start reading the warnings 😂

She was never going to be sad longer than necessary if he had anything to do about it.

WHERE CAN I GET A FRANKIE OML 😭

“That no matter where we were, when we look up, we’re looking at the same moon.” He looked at her though she was still looking up. “That always kept me going, you know?”

THE SOFT. AHHHHHH

The moonlight seemed to shine directly on her and make her glow like some ethereal being. She was an angel. She had to be. The stars twinkled above them but he had his own right here right now.

eXcUsE mE. wHo gAvE yOu tHe rIgHt tO wRiTe sOmEtHIng tHiS bEAuTiFul

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Part 8

“Stop ruining my romantic moment, please.

HAHAHAH I LOVE!

I can’t even- Omg. This whole chapter. I have no words

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Part 9

“I can’t,” he said, voice broken. “Please just let me…let me hold you. Let me…”

IDK THE FULL CONTEXT TO THIS (really hating my ace-ness rn cuz this last line is so heartfelt) BUT OMG BROKEN FRANKIE I JUST. ARGHHH

you realized that you were embracing your entire world right then and there. Letting it go would be the hardest thing you’d ever do.

take my heart and crush it why don’t you omg. 😭😍

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Part 10

She was hurt again. And it was his fault again.

I can’t do it. I can’t be alone anymore.

asdfghjk GURL. WHO HURT YOU OMG. LEMME HURT THEM BACK. 

His world spun and he felt like he was falling. He fell and fell into the abyss with no one there to save him as the bag felt like it was burning a hole in his hand. Is it hot? He felt hot. Burning up. Had he finally died and gone to hell? God knows that’s where he belonged.

No. It’s just an overwhelming darkness. Nothing. And that’s what he wanted, right? To feel nothing.

*VERY INCOHERENT SCREAMING* This is beautiful writing omg. The raw emotion in this. Holy hell. 

oml. That transition from pure pain and angst into love just *chefs kiss*. Frankie deserves so much 😭

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Part 11

“It wasn’t supposed to make you cry,”

wHat eLsE wAs iT sUpPoSeD tO dO omg. 

This whole chapter was SO CUTE!!! The way that Frankie just knows things about her. UGH. 

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Part 12

“What if it’s big and pulls me in?!”

MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY OMG

“I don’t wanna die,” he whispered.

His life felt as though it was falling apart all over again and he realized it was because she was the one that held him together and now that he was leaving, everything was one big mess again.

*inaudible screaming*

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Part 13

That ending tho! I love that you gave them their own little thing with the moon. Its so sweet 🥰and the Pope-Frankie friendship moments. *melts*

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Part 14

okay i was gonna blockquote but there was too much to quote This whole chapter felt so raw omg. If you’re pulling from real experience then I’m so sorry you ever had to go through that *pulls you into the biggest hug ever* (assuming you like hugs, if you don’t... i send you an affectionate ‘rubbing my forehead into your shoulder’)

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Part 15

“You could’ve walked in here with your head shaved and I’d still love it…but…please don’t.”

😂 yessss give me the humour in this sad

still haven’t learnt to read the warnings oml 🤦🏻‍♀️

ahhhh the soft reassuring Frankie content!!!!

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Part 16

“Probably because it’s Wednesday,” he said.

“It is?” you asked.

“Yeah. What day did you think it was?”

I FEEL SO ATTACKED OMG. What even is time anymore.

asfadsdfgdhk Its so SOFFTTT. Is this what it’s like to fall in love??😭

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Part 17

hallelujah i’ve finally learnt to read the warnings

ngaww Frankie being all excited and soft 🥺🥺 are they going camping?? are we gonna get Frankie in his element??

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Part 18

I’m as flat as a board back there.

I feel attacked and this wasn’t even directed at me oml 😂😂

tHeY aRe sO iN lOvE oMg 😍

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Part 19

I get it, it’s embarrassing, but I’m not judging you for it.

YES. In this house, we don’t judge people who are struggling to find jobs!

“I wouldn’t say them if you didn’t deserve them. You deserve good things, Frankie. You may not feel like you do but you do. Always.”

He sighed and rubbed your back. “If you say it then it must be true.”

*incoherent screaming* we all deserve good things okay 😭

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Part 20

thank you for the warnings that i’ve finally learnt to read before reading the fic

What if I’m a lost cause? Just some pathetic druggie who can’t get his shit together…mooching off his girl.

NOOO You’re not just some pathetic druggie Frankie😭😭

“Sleepovers? Do I get to paint your nails? Do your hair?”

Our love has aged gracefully kinda like us.

THE SOFT OMG 🥺🥺

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Part 21

“With all due respect, sir, I’m not and have never been an addict. Yeah, I did drugs. Yes, I hurt your daughter and she had to leave, but you know what, we’re together now and nothing’s gonna change that. She’s forgiven me and she loves me and that’s all that matters.”

YAS. I love this change from nervous wreck to confidence! 

This is so happy and soft and sweet oml. My angsty soul doesn’t know how to deal. 😭

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Part 22

Sweet baby jesus. It was soft. And then it was not. And then it was soft again and I just. *incoherent screaming* GURL. 

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ludus

I’m gonna have a house right on the other side of the lake.

asdfgI I Have Feelings.

GURLLL. This was so innocent!! They’re both so young and cute and asgalsfjghsd. 

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eros

“Are you running away from something?” she asked, and he bristled. “From me because you love me and don’t know how to say it?”

*incoherent screaming* well shit. you go gurl! you call him on his crap!

I skimmed the smut but like Frankie being a nervous wreck is 🥺

If you wanna see someone else while I’m gone, you can.

*more screaming because OMG if only he knew what that would lead to*

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ania

O damn. I kinda loved his slow descend into darkness... The fact that the reader still clings on to hope and love and just, damn. I’m lost for words. 

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coda

... 

...

that’s all my brain feels right now. that was dark, but like. a good dark. It was heart wrenching but beautiful and- “I won’t be able to find you if I’m lost myself,” THIS. I just. *chefs kiss* but also, *ugly sobbing*. 

[karamazovdmitri]

Ok so I know you love Dostoevsky but do you have any tips on how to read his books and just russian lit in general? I'm really interested but I feel like his or Tolstoy's or Turgenev's,etc. books might be very dense and complex and hard to understand and not relatable because they were written a while ago idk I'm just afraid I'm not gonna get them and enjoy them because of their complexity. Do you have any suggestions of where to start?

 ooooh boy ALRIGHT sorry i took so long to reply to that schools a binchso uh first of all im so glad the ruslit love is spreading! and alright yeah ok lets get right down to it, i’ll focus on dosto for now and yes his books seem complex and and i wont lie that they are, but theyre not necessarily complex in their writing or their prose, its in what it holds. like its hard to explain but its just. so packed with everything.i feel that theres not one way to “get” the books. though i see what you mean because i often say i dont “get” poetry, but i think that even if you dont unveil the secret of his books or something, its still such a good read. we did that in lit class with crime and punishment, kinda just like tryna unveil the mysteries of it and... you cannot just do it like that, you can get closer to it but like... i guess its kinda like that saying that says destination isnt as important as the journey. as for them not being relatable i got GREAT NEWS FOR YOU, the brothers karamazov was probably the most relatable book ive read in my whole life. like i know because its Classic Lit™ and all, it might feel distant and foreign and like its well, not relatable, but once you dive into it the characters are the same you’d find in other books, theyre all painfully human. like if you take evgeny bazarov from turgenev’s fathers and sons, sure hes that like complex nihilistic character but also hes a bitchass med student like you’d find in any university i swear alright, like... god i feel like i cant express my thoughts coherently but what i mean is even if the prose in itself seems complicated (once you dive into it, its really not that bad honestly?? to be fair i havent read tolstoy yet -yeah what a bad ruslit hoe i make- but dostoevsky, while not the simplest in appearance actually just boils down to feelings nd shit. like you’ll just FEEL it. and yeah for me it has made me reflect a lot on who i am as a person and who i want to be, but as you probs have guessed i do take ruslit quite to heart... maybe thats the secret to enjoying it so much? idk? like im not tryna read for 5 layers deep interpretation, i guess as i said... you just somehow feel it. AS for suggestions... if you want to go with dosto, my first read by him was personally crime & punishment, which i feel is a good start?? its always the one i rec because its part of the holy dosto trinity (aka C&P, the bros karamazov and the idiot) but i think its the most accessible one. like it has a clear plot, raskolnikovs character is complex but not inaccessible and the main ideas that want to be communicated are clear cut, more than in the huge rambles that you’d find in the brothers karamazov. i mean like i dont wanna spoil shit but like unless the brothers karamazov, when i read C&P i didnt find myself putting the book down every now and then to just. breathe and think about shit (i did however had to put it down to yell about razumikhin but thats just me)for other ruslit i kinda just like. go with whatever. i read fathers and sons because i saw it in the bookstore and just. bought it lmao and honestly since its like significantly shorter than one of the dosto bricks™ that might also be a good place to start. honestly i dont think theres like one Good Place to start but if youre 0 familiar with the russian culture and history and stuff, like dont start with the brothers karamazov (if you ask me, just dont start with TBK because its dostos best book and like you gotta gradually make your way to it, just keep raising the expectations higher and higher) (can yall believe right before i started reading tbk i was like “man can this really top C&P?” LMFAO) but anyway yeah, russian lit however is a good way to familiarize yourself with like Russia™ as a concept, and the russian soul, decent slav sadness and all that sweet stuff so just start with something and then the more you’ll read the more you’ll get what i mean by that russkaya dusha thinganyway uhhh youre probs fuckin tired of reading by here hopefully i was of any help??? basically dont be afraid anon, academics really like to brand classic rus lit as like some kind of extremely fancy and complex shit, and like its complex but not in the way you think. its complex because its depictions of the human soul so theres a lot packed in that. but even if you couldnt care less about like the soul and shit, theyre absolutely amazing psychology-wise. so yknow just pick up a book and go for it!! if it makes you more comfy, start with a short one! it can be fathers and sons, it can be even shorter and be Notes from underground (this ones kinda hardcore though, i gotta say) can be death of ivan illyich, could be a play by Chekhov like honestly... theres so much to choose from, treat yoself(also i want to thank you for that ask i feel like??? so honoured to be considered some kind of reference when it comes to russian lit, truly warms my heart and dont hesitate to come ask for more info bc i know this is kind of just a huge dump of whatever)

[sadrien]

wanna chat? pt. 15

on ao3 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15

wow has it been A Week

i have two tests in a few hours and i have so many notes left and calc problems and i'm dying so have this!

there are two links in the chapter and i know you're probably like. why would i click those? i mean i wouldn’t trust me either, but i swear they're fine. ignore the first if you'd like, but if you don't click the second you're probably going to be fairly confused? you'll see what i mean

this is extra long because i'm feeling extra procrastinate-y

(sorting hat = nino, cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub = alya, dipshit = adrien, ahHHH = mari)

i'm off to fail. enjoy~

3:23

sorting hat: what the fuck was i thinking were french wed go to beauxbatons oh also @alya akuma attack

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: but thats bORING wait what fuCK WHEN I FINALLY DECID E 2 SLEPE

sorting hat: please dont leave the house im too tired

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: …. nino what the fuck is thsi akuma

sorting hat: why would i know???

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: bc i dont

sorting hat: love that 3 in the morning logic

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: all thats on the forums is pics of it stacking cars??????????? @hawkmoth wyd

sorting hat: being a dick probably

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: ok tru oooo something new in the inbox of the ladyblog make ur bets now

sorting hat: i say random theory

dipshit: Fanart duh

sorting hat: bro!!! youre up!! <3

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: gm marshmallow my love

sorting hat: howd you wake up? did the akuma get close to your house and finally make noise or osmething?

dipshit: Oh I never went to bed

sorting hat: …

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: what the SHI T SLEEP BOI

dipshit: Trust me, I would’ve if I wanted to

sorting hat: mari is the only one of us with any sense

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: shes a smart one

dipshit: Yeah Anyway what’s in the inbox

sorting hat: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VRr9NG7RE0

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: thank u bab much appreciated but also ur a nerd anyway its wait waht ths hit hlyk fucik

sorting hat: uhhhh alya you ok??

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: i S HTIS  AK JOKE IMS TCARED TO CPIICK IT

dipshit: Well what is it??

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: IS T A FICKUING VIDOE WITH CHANT OIRS  FACE AS THE THUMBLNAIL FIFS:DKLFJ:SDLKFJQWIUE:C:KJGK:SJ

sorting hat: wait like like he shot it himself??

dipshit: That’s some dedication is it like mid-akuma fight or something

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: ahhhHHH I DON TKNOW I HAVNE TWATCHED IT YET its itS THE M TEHY METION ME MOM HOL Y FCUK i can t;breakt h im oginna die nsow WAITN I NEDD TO POST

sorting hat: please dont die on us yo send me the link fam

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: DINOSUAR SCREEEECH  

dipshit: Did you mean pterodactyl screech

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: DO U THISNK I CAN SPELL THAT NR

dipshit: Honestly I didn’t even spell it right I had to use spellcheck

sorting hat: smh fake fan i bet you cant even name ten dinosaurs

dipshit: Do you want me to try???

sorting hat: no no i do not not right now maybe after school

dipshit: Does spelling count

sorting hat: yup scientific names only too bro no long neck bullshit

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: ladyblog.tumblr.com/post/324367743289/update-from-the-favs ICAHT STOP YELLING IM SO GETITN G INTORUBLE FOR BEIGS O LOUD BUT HOLY SHI T

sorting hat: dang they look exhaust ed and that akuma really is just stacking cars

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: i need a flashing gif thatj us tsays LADYNOIR IS CANON

sorting hat: bro thi s is so accurate to staying up until 3 am tho

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: HE CALLED HER PERFEC T

dipshit: Missed pun opportunity Could’ve said purrfect

sorting hat: im kicking you out

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: MARHSMALLOW I LIVOE U also i think theyr right about it being a kid

sorting hat: but like lb said its really late

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: i mean tru

sorting hat: it looks like theyre building a castel or somethng

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: a fortress!!!

sorting hat: yeah!!!

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: to protect them from d r a g o n s or scary things

sorting hat: yo it couldve just been a kid with a nightmare if you by that

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: god whne the girls have a nightmare its ROUGH sometiems nothing will get them back to bed cant blame them i mean one of  the things that helps them is drwing nightmares fuk i woudlnt want to go back to sleep either

dipshit: The akumas building a fortress huh?

sorting hat: idk man we arent talking to the akuma ask chat

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: oh yeah no that failed

sorting hat: ????

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: he tried to talk to them and they just like picked him up and threw him away some1 submitted a video rip chat noir

dipshit: Sounds painful

sorting hat: rip in pepperoni anyway if you look at the akuma theyre sorta dressed up ya know

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: i wanna say ur projecting the castle thing but ur right that thing in their hair looks like a crown

dipshit: Huh you’re right

sorting hat: man i need to sleep akumas are bullshit

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: i just watche dthe video for the sixth itm e im gnna memorize it

sorting hat: babe please if youre gonna memorize something you should wait for a better vidoe

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: DO U THINK THEYLLY SEND A NOTHER

sorting hat: idk why not they sent thsi one

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHIT FAM oh snap here come the amgic ladybugs there the y go ayyyy

sorting hat: sleep

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: ok godo plan see u in a few hours 2 cry

PM between dipshit and ahHHH

ahHHH: I cannot bleieve you used our friends to stop an akuma

dipshit: Can you please let me live

ahHHH: I cant believe you sent taht video to alya

dipshit: Did you see how happy she was?????

ahHHH: Oh my god Im going to bed Please actually sleep???

dipshit: Uhh No promises but I’ll try my best

ahHHH: You better Night kittne

dipshit: See you in a few hours Night bugaboo

7:58 in hogwarts house discourse

sorting hat: i want to die

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub has changed their name to ladynoir keeps me living

ladynoir keeps me living renamed this conversation to “life is meaningless”.

dipshit: Optimistic

ahHHH: Fuck m y life and efverythign in it

  16:03

ladynoir keeps me living has renamed this conversation to “what the fUCK”.

ladynoir keeps me living: what the fuc k what thif cuk what teh kcuk WHAT THE ICUK NINO

sorting hat: babe im standing right next to you im processing gimme a fucking second

ladynoir keeps me living: ... 

sorting hat: ok i had a second what

ladynoir keeps me living: whaT ETH FCUK YOU TWO REPSOND YOU FUCKERS BOLTED WHAT HTE UC K

PM between ladynoir keeps me living and ahHHH

ladynoir keeps me living: MARINETTE DUPAIN CHENG WHAT THE FUC K MARI!!!!!!!!!!! ANSWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PM between ladynoir keeps me living and dipshit

ladynoir keeps me living: answer uR GODDAMN PHON E I M GODING HUNT U DOWN I F U DONT RESPJNOD  

PM between sorting hat and dipshit

sorting hat: did i just see what i htink i saw correction did alya and i see what we think i saw bro adrien agreste are you here hellllooooooo shit dude

PM between sorting hat and ahHHH

sorting hat: dude dude what was that how long has that been a thing broski marinette goddammit guys

PM between ahHHH and dipshit

dipshit: Uh I’m really sorry about that It just Happened

ahHHH: Its fine Youre fine Its fine Were all fine

dipshit: Are they…?

ahHHH: Yup I have So many messages Oh my go d

dipshit: I’m so sorry

ahHHH: Its both our faults or something

dipshit: You want Alya or Nino

ahHHH: Uh lets do this the simplest way you go nino i go alya Good luck

dipshit: Same to you

PM between ladynoir keeps me living and ahHHH

ahHHH: What

ladynoir keeps me living: ok deep breaths do not what me i saw that nino saw that you lived it

ahHHH: lived what

ladynoir keeps me living: U JUST KISSED ADRIEN AGREST E

ahHHH: um

PM between sorting hat and dipshit

dipshit: Hey Nino What’s up

sorting hat: ha ha very funny alyas having a cow but seriously did you and marinette kiss

dipshit: Uhh I mean yes Yes we did There was lip touching going on there It was an accident

PM between ladynoir keeps me living and ahHHH

ahHHH: It was an accident!!!!

ladynoir keeps me living: an aCCIDENT

ahHHH: Were both really tired and we were standing next to each otehr and idont know what happened

ladynoir keeps me living: what did u fall asleep on each others lips or something?!??!??!?!?!? accident?!??????

PM between sorting hat and dipshit

sorting hat: an accident

dipshit: I kind of Wasn’t thinking

sorting hat: really fucknig smooth bro

dipshit: Sue me

sorting hat: no thank s are you two dating now or?

dipshit: No we’re not

sorting hat: but you like marinette before you say no please know i just saw you lock lips and i also am your best friend and also have eyes

dipshit: Ok yes I like her

sorting hat: so are you gonna ask her out

dipshit: Uhh ... ...no I don’t think so

sorting hat: bruh why not??

dipshit: It’s complicated

PM between ladynoir keeps me living and ahHHH

ladynoir keeps me living: i hate both of u ur actuallt he worst

ahHHH: Im sorry???

ladynoir keeps me living: MAKE OUT ALREADY

ahHHH: Alya stop!!!!! We arent dating or anyhting

ladynoir keeps me going: what hte fUCK why not!!!!! u kissed!!! u 2 talk all the time u make each other laugh u spend a ton of time together u like each other ur dating

ahHHH: Al Im not dating adrien!!!

ladynoir keeps me going: ok fine but u could

ahHHH: By that logic I could also be dating you and nino

ladynoir keeps me going: yes yes u could be

PM between sorting hat and dipshit

sorting hat: complicated??? what about it is complicated?????? you like her she likes you if you havent figured that out by now i dont know what to tell you dude other than maybe all that homeschooling made you worse at social interaction than we thought cause its freaking obvious man like really really obvious

dipshit: It really is complicated, I swear

sorting hat: what?? do you like someone else too or something?

dipshit: Yeah Actually I do

sorting hat: who? ladybug still?? i mean same ladybug is fucking awesome and ive been in a room with teh two of you chemistry and awkwardness but like dont take this the wrong way dude but what are your chances? im not gonna pull an alya and say lb and cn are a thing but how well would dating a superhero really work out? you like mari mari likes you youve already kissed once you guys are so close already might as well just change the relationship status on facebook you know? adrien? ok well think on it dude ill be here if you wanna talk

PM between ladynoir keeps me living and ahHHH

ahHHH: Its not that simple

ladynoir keeps me living: yes it is? do u like him? yes does he like u? yes did u like kissing him? im gonna guess yes is it the asking out part ur scared of cause i can totally bug him into asking u out first

ahHHH: No its not that its just I Its kinda complicated

ladynoir keeps me living: ??????

ahHHH: I cant really

ladynoir keeps me living: mari u ok?? do u need me to come over cause i can

ahHHH: No its ok Im fine

ladynoir keeps me living: did adrien do smth do i need to beat him up

ahHHH: No! No its not him Adrien is perfect

ladynoir keeps me living: sap

ahHHH: Just Give me a minute Ok?

ladynoir keeps me living: ill wait for u to text first

ahHHH: Thanks

PM between dipshit and ahHHH

dipshit: So

ahHHH: So

dipshit: That happened

ahHHH: Yup

dipshit: Nino asked if we were dating

ahHHH: Alya did too

dipshit: Mari I like you a lot

ahHHH: And I really like you too But theres a but right?

dipshit: Yeah You too?

ahHHH: Yeah

dipshit: I think we should just Wait? A little bit?

ahHHH: I was thinking the same thing Not necessarily a long time just Some Time

dipshit: Exactly I mean I’ve been in love with you for months honestly But there’s…

ahHHH: Same here I’ve had a huge embarrassing crush on you since the beginning of the year

dipshit: Glad we’re the same level of awkward and embarrassing

ahHHH: That wasnt our first kiss By the way Just Thought you should Probably know at this point

dipshit: Wait what?

ahHHH: Dark Cupid? You um I needed to break his hold on you and I remembered class and there had been something about a kis sbreaking a spell so Yeah You didnt remember so I didnt say anything Maybe I shouldve I jsut felt Really awkward about it??? Sorry

dipshit: Oh Um

ahHHH: IM REALLY REALLY SORRY

dipshit: It’s fine!!! Really it’s fine It sounds like it’d be awkward to bring up But thanks for telling me I appreciate it

ahHHH: Of course Um Im gonna do some homeowrk so I can go to bed early tonight Hopefully Hawkmoth will leave us alone

dipshit: Oh god I hope so I can’t do another late night That was terrible

ahHHH: That video was awful But it was fun You might sway me on this social media thing yet kitty

dipshit: :3c

ahHHH: Youre the w o r s t

dipshit: I know Let me know if you have any problems with chem or physics I did the homework while she was going over the stuff from yesterday

ahHHH: Its unfair how smart you are

dipshit: Promise you’ll ask for help??

ahHHH: Yeah I promise Dont you have piano today?

dipshit: Yup and I should probably go get ready for that Good luck my lady

ahHHH: You too kitten