#idk its like. everyday i learn that my family doesn't care about me more and more

[glitter-alienz]

my brother beat up my half brother really bad today and everyone is mad at him for doing that but they didn't give a fuck when he was and still is beating ME up, like every day he's here. They get more mad at ME for punching him back than him starting it?? this is so funny??? what?? he's a bad person NOW? okay wow

[theshelteredbrat]

I'm so done

I don't wanna take care of myself anymore

I don't want to feel anything anymore bc anything I do for some sense of happiness ends badly, makes me feel worse (mainly due to my parents)

But I can't even fucking cry when I try. When I really need to?

But I hate feeling numb so maybe pain will work?

And of course my parents are just sooooo supportive (sarcastic voice). My mom keeps saying things that are basically calling me fat and sluggish. My parents won't let me do shit. Then they get mad at me for so many small stupid things.

They hate whenever I listen to music which is basically my only outlet.

school is fun bc I put on a mask and tell bad jokes and trip over myself to make sure everyone's happy and I'm not hated.

Whenever someone's mad or sad I feel its my fault even tho ik it's not but I feel horrible. And whenever I do share my true feelings they'll either laugh and dismiss it (which happens most of the time) or they get super concerned and I feel like I'm acting out for attention.

And idk I usually regret posting shit like this bc people are always rlly concerned but its sweet considering yall care about me a lot more than most ik irl but plz don't waste ur time over me. Im an attention seeking bitch whos not worth ur time and is js venting

Church and youth group is just great bc God don't care about me. I believe he exists bc I swear he has a grudge against me but he don't bother about me. And I feel like I'm getting preached at whenever I go. But I love the people there and can't really not go to church bc of my parents

And home is just SO MANY FUCKING CHILDREN

Like wtf I'm the oldest, then I get three siblings, which is fine, i love them they're js rlly annoying. Then they get into foster care. Then they stop. Now they're adopting someone. Now they're taking in six boys.

And ik the home is supposed to be a safe space and that's great but I feel so out of place and unwanted and useless. I literally take up a room, a drawer in the bathroom, I eat food. I shower, I use electricity, and tons of money

And I can't get a moment of peace, its literally do this, do that, and chores is good for taking responsibility but like wtf. I feed 1-8 children, get half of them dressed, help with brushing hair and teeth. Now I have to help them learn to read. Help them do their homework. Take them on a walk. Change the diaper.

Wtf this is parenting stuff I shouldn't have to be doing this everyday. My mom doesn't even have a job, she just has two kids during the day and will have to pick kids up (we all go to the same school except for one who takes the bus) and I'm yelled at all the time for being incompetent? For not finding a mess to clean up in a room I haven't been in all day?

For not doing homework when I'd helped everyone else? For not having time to get myself ready bc I have to get kids ready? For not exercising when there's literally no time? For not reading when I don't have any freedom. For saying yes, for saying no, for not having anyextracurricular, for having one?

My mom yells at me that I don't talk to my family enough or spend enough time with them. Do you know how many times I've tried to tell a joke or a cool fact or something funny that happened at school and they yelled at me to be quiet? How many times I've tried to tell them about my friends or a project at school or a new interest I've picked up to be insulted by them? They never fail to point out some flaw or traits that they don't like. How I didn't do something correctly.

Do you know how badly I've wanted to hear "I'm proud of you" in a nondissmissive way? From my family? I heard that from a teacher once in my life. Best memory ever.

I'm so fucking useless and unwanted and numb and tbh i deserve the pain and suffering of life. The mask at school and youth group may crumble and hopefully they'll dismiss me but they almost might get rlly concerned and ill js be the attention seeking bitch like I always am.

Oh God please ignore me. Don't be concerned. Don't waste your time on me. I'm js being a dumb little teen. Sorry if you read that all

[jennyyyeeettt]

stuff i learned more on the internet than irl

get a drink

you are unique, you are a part of the universe.

don't change, unless it's for the better and it makes you feel good

real friends care about you

what you need is more important than what you want

you write your own story, don't let others decide for you

there's no shame in being who you truely are, whoever doesn't respect that doesn't deserve your time

be proud of the little things you did bec. 5% is better than 0%

nothing lasts forever, so choose to "seize the day"//carpe diem boys//

if you are not where you are try to get there with plans and imaginatioins

imagine ur best self and show up as them

nothing is wrong with you, you are loved. bec there are many people in the world u didn't meet. and there's no way you are not someone's type

you are not ugly, u r just bored of ur face bec u see it everyday since you've been born and u hearedthe comments on it

stay nice or quiet, everyone has their battles

no mattar how much u think you are fucked up rn, months later things will change and u will forget about it

grief doesnt go away with time, time just teaches us to "deal with it"

just bec it doesn't hurt anyone, doesn't mean it's ok

karma is real, she just takes time and sometimes works secretly

romantic love isn't more important than platonic love

just bec someone is doing it, does't mean you HAVE to

if the story doesn't fit you, change something about it

being "private" is not the same as being "secretive" in relationships

before jumping to conclusions, ask and discuss, -with a good, none threatening tone-

love changes a person, even if it's not quickly

not being productive doesn't mean being worthless

being in a slump is not being lazy

everyone is an addict to something

treat yourself like you would a child every now and then and be a better parent to yourself

you are gorgeous anyways, so don't care what others say

if you fail, try again! it does't define you, it's not a part of u, it's like a game.. when a game says "game over" you just reply it

labels are so overrated, don't stress about it.. u do u

distance is a bitch, unless its distancing from toxic ppl and behaviours

love is not selfish love is understanding and comprimizing

saying i love you is not dangerous when its used with the right people

words of affermation ACTUALLY IS IMPORTANT

a "hopeless case" is never "hopeless"

the person they called "useless", made someone's day and helped them through a tough life

life is short, take risks, tell the people that you love how much they mean to you. no time for being fake.

idk if i already said that but fake it till u make it fr fr bro

push yourself bec no one else will, but also be kind to yourself -very difficult balance- IF you read all that, i hope you at least saw a thing that was helpful, I learned them literally from the internet (friends and communities and all) and I've been doing that for the past 2 years and they work with me, i didnt realize them at first but being a bit of a self critic i realized these stuff, even people now started to point it out. me and one of my fav internet bsff realized how we changed over the years and talking to their mom she also noticed it and its just so great to see how we both affected eachother and encouraged eachother to be better ... nothing is better than to find a home in yourslef .. doesnt mean it doesnt get tough sometimes, doesnt mean that i dont struggle with anything, but we are all humans, overall all we do is change and grow and its either to the best or not, it gets hard, but good relationships fixes the broken parts over time .. im so grateful for my family aka my internet besties :3 its 5 30 am and i need to sleep .. got a bit emotional lol :') hope yall have a good day/night take care

[topconfessions]

Bëÿöñçé is finally getting backlash for her Tïffånÿ ad campaign. She's wearing a huge diamond on her neck and she's the first black woman to ever wear it. Problem is, it's a fucking blood diamond, mined in South Africa in the 1800s. Now she had an entire album dedicated to being Mama Africa, black is beautiful etc. but then wear that fucking diamond on your neck which thousands of people were tortured for, lost their lives, and families completely annihilated? It's sooooo obvious that she doesn't actually mean any of the messages her 50 11 wirters write for her. And now there's an article going around that she's shocked and disappointed and only now found out that it's a blood diamond. But she also posted the fucking diamond on her IG again. Istg capitalism has rotten this womans and her husbands soul. Their only thing is to taunt how rich they are, they're no better than the average Soundcloud rapper with a stack next to his head

This is the problem with today's generation. Nobody does their research and homework on their faves. Why are we just now shocked and surprised? Beyonce has always been this person. This is why I said I believe one wax museum had was right to make her figure white passing cause Beyonce has clearly used this light skin nearly white illusion in her career consistently. They made Beyonce look the way she sees herself and projects herself to be seen from her own tastes. Anyways I heard about this and I cant repeat myself since I stated my opinion on a certain forum site and got attacked for it by a Beyonce fan for stating facts about Basquiat enthusiasts and high art industry insiders having a right to be upset that Tiffany's is using his rare painting for this Blood diamond Ad. Even if they are going to hang it up in the flag ship store, it's rotten and irritating to me personally that Basquait painting had to be paired and presented as if it's worth can't stand alone without the likeness of Bey and Jay. Now you have everyday people and fools who know nothing of this artists work or legacy chiming in going to bat for Bey when in reality Basquiat was not a commercial Artist and it's best to be assumed he would have never supported this unless he respected their rise as a black couple or music. I can't put it into words but its annoying that they are trying to take every rare opportunity and own it like it's a monumental accomplishment only they can achieve.

IDK girl I'm tired. I conveyed what I felt about this on the other site more concisely. But simply put I personally don't support it or like it. Tiffany's is beginning to struggle and wants young buyers money and hip young adult money (they always be a luxury / opulent go to, no debating that*) and are using Jay & Bey for it. Jay worked on this deal so it is what it is.

Beyonce fans are always made when it's said but for many years I've always heard and still do hear that Beyonce is uneducated and cannot articulate herself well. She's not the smartest in general minus business and music / entertainment. This is a prime and clear example of what happens when you are uneducated or aren't well traveled and aware. You agree to shit like this and learn right after what you truly signed up for. This is why I always say she will never replace Michael. He wasn't smart like her in manipulating hid privacy and image, but he was educated and actually cared about Africa before he was made a king and after in an African country. You would never catch him agreeing to something like this if he were alive today in this digital age. And if he did he would say he knew but apologize. Beyonce won't apologize. Black is King was riding the BLM wave and she jumped on it to spear head this Disney collab so she could paint a positive image and have another win.

Black community will get mad cause they want representation so badly they will stick by someone like her since she's the only one cutthroat enough to be "queen" and not actively have a rivalry career like Prince x MJ.

Bey looked beautiful but very white washed to me just something about it screamed tokenism. If she looked liked Jay they wouldn't have gotten this deal I bet on everything or at least Jay would pull the weight of the deal.

[ijustwant2write]

Hello dear! Sorry if my english is bad, I'm from Cz. 😆

This will be long and maybe difficult but here I go!

Could I request (idea) Shelby family with reader that was set aside in front of their door (bc mother couldn't take care of her - se was poor, ill, etc.), and Polly find her and adopts her?

And before war, she is like sweet and kind angel of the family, plays with Thomas and his brothers (mainly with Thomas). And maybe when they go to war, she promise them that she will learn how to play on some instruments like guitar, piano, violin and greet them with literal concert when they returns and they like "Yeah sure, honey 😁, we are already looking forward to it 💕."

And during these years they are at war, she's learning on the instruments (she finds them in some old abandoned music school with textbook, so she is leaving early in the morning everyday so she can learn herself, but one day when she wants to play to Polly, she ignores her (maybe finds the fact that reader is so happy about everything, kind and caring annoying bc like "Why are you so happy, when there's war out there?" and reader is little hurt but she still thinks about the promise she gave to brothers so she doesn't mind bc she thinks that after they return, everything will be fine again and they will gladly listen to her to play. But when they return, everything is different. Like after some time she tries to play to them but one of them (maybe thomas) would have really bad day bc "business" isn't going well and with anger circulating in this veins he smashes a guitar against a wall and say something like "You are so annoying, why can't you be quiet, you can't help us with some fricking playing on some stupid guitar, go away, leave me alone, I don't want to hear you ever again.", other Shelby brothers are less mean about it, but still. And reader is REALLY upset (maybe serious depression) and stop play and even sing (or speak in general) and after some time the reader runs away from home to the abandones music school, or maybe joins army (ww2 is coming soon), and Shelby family regrets it (MAINLY Thomas 🤣), that they were mean and are afraid that they never find her, or that she never will come back from war, and then they finds her or she come back hurt (maybe she cloudn't sing like she used to bc trauma or wound on her throat) and they tries they're hardest to make it up to her, treat her like princess (IDK 🤣) but she is still hurt mentally and doesn't want to be with them (like literally), wants to leave them (doesn't even remember that promise that she will play for them), and then as thier last possible solution they buy her new guitar a they are like "What song were you about to play for us when we returned? Will you please play it for us at least for the last time we se you 😊😭?" And then there would be like sea of tears from everybody, mainly from reader bc she forget about the promise and they DIDN'T and is like glad but on the same time sad bc she can't sing like how she used to, but she tries and just one big FLUFF on the end. (She doesn't leave) 🤣🤣🤣

And maybe Tommy has crush on her, or has like very strong bond with here, just whatever.

This could be fics, or series, but its up to you! If you find it difficult, too long, to specific or maybe that reader is more like OC, please ignor! I don't know your rules so 😅😅

Otherwise, I LOVE your writting!! I'm new into this fandom so I'm so glad for every blog with Peaky Blinders 🤣🤣 You are so talented and I'm really jealous about how good your writtings are!! Love you you wonderful person 😘❤❤❤

Posted :) Sorry it took so long!