#idk it’s just such a perfect fairy tale quality

[hey-must-be-a-devilbetween-us]

Everyone seems to be jumping on this shitting on the writing of Good Omens 2 band wagon and I just...don't see it?

I mean I am a person who values my own opinion and taste, (knowing its definitely not for everyone, I have some acquired weirdness), I'm no scholar but I think I have a fair amount of media literacy, I've been to a few classes and in some advanced creative writing when I was in high school and I've just ya know, read a lot of books and a lot of books about writing so like...

Idk maybe I need to go back and watch it again with a more critical eye and less of a fanatical eye, but I've read Good Omens many times, and I've watched the first season many times, and to me S2 seemed to be pretty on-par with the quality of writing we've seen so far, nothing jumped out at me as low quality?

Its just a different kind of story, the stakes weren't as high, we're starting literally in the middle (you can see that without anyone having to tell us) and the expectations being built up of how close Crowley and Aziraphale have become in comparison to Gabriel and Beelzebub and Nina and Maggie, and maybe the subversion of 'oop they're actually getting split up' was maybe obvious, but wasn't it supposed to be? Isn't that what the bridge season 2 is supposed to be, leading to how they start the true sequel split up?

Sure it was very fanservice-y but that's because its...truly for the fans, I don't see anything wrong with that.

I think a lot of you guys aren't remembering that Good Omens was always a book built around two buddies sending each other bits and pieces of a story through a floppy disk in the mail with the express goal of making the other ring them on the phone to laugh until they cried.

Good Omens has always been pretty cheesy and punny and goofy and playing off 'wow being human is weird, lets put a lens on that' with a great dash of wit and sarcasm and affection in there, sure some bits are pretty exciting but that's just the bookends of all the lovely nonsense, but well crafted nonsense, like a fairy tale almost.

I'm not trying to start a flame war or anything (though I'm not anyone I doubt anyone will care), but I've seen a lot of posts mocking fans who enjoyed the second season and making fun of fans sending Neil Gaiman asks being all excited and just calling him and everyone who worked on it a shitty writer and idk it really brought down the party for me, seems a really...interesting take when there's a writers strike going on but idk I don't see why people have to be so mean and callous about our silly religion fanfiction show but that's probably expecting too much out of the internet.

That's not to say I'm gonna sit here and say you have to like it and think its perfect because that's silly, its not perfect, everyone has different tastes, and of course its okay to make jokes about writing goofs, people have been making fun of Good Omens in the Good Omens fandom since its publish date.

I just genuinely don't see the quality dip, it seems like the same Gaiman Pratchett-y Goodness I've known, just new and more of it, with more modern jokes.

If anyone wants to have some friendly discourse I might not always reply to this thread but my asks should be open I just wanna understand where everyone is coming from, if anyone has some insight on the consensus that its 'bad writing.'

[annebrontesrequiem]

Also I'm loving the take on fairy tales in this series, but I do still think criticizing fairy tale characters for being "flat" is a fundamental misunderstanding of the nature of fairy tales and folk tales. The characters in fairy tales being "flat" is a very distinct feature of the genre, not a bug.

Complaining that princesses don't do much is never something I've understood, because none of the characters do much. Ever. Princes have no more agency. Take every tale of Ivan Tsarevich ever.

Part of the thing I love about fairy tales/folk tales is that there's this very entrancing, dreamlike quality to them. Sometimes beautiful dreams, sometimes nightmares. But always this strange disconnect that's perfect for telling stories at night by firelight. These characters are distinctly unreal, obviously faceless. They exist only for the strange goings on of one certain time.

And I also adore retellings of fairy tales specifically when they do flesh it out - what happens after happily ever after? how do characters feel? what about the concept of splintered stories? Seriously the idea of fairy tales repeating is just one of my favorite concepts ever. One of the reasons I adore Deathless by Catherynne M Valente so much is that she explores repetition. Stories repeat. Fairy tales are always repeating. How do the characters feel? It's beautiful.

But I think you can truly twist and retell and just scramble old fairy tales while still understanding what makes the original tick. Not to say characters have to like their stories. But again, "there's not much character development, no one has agency" is just kinda an old hat thing to me. Yes. Yes, that is a fundamental aspect of fairy tales. To not understand this is to miss crucial context.

Idk it's so pervasive a thought I can't even like point to one specific thing (except maybe highlight lazy fucking Disney remakes because I hate them and will die on that hill). But I just, I wish people understood. You can absolutely critique fairy tales. Like, holy shit you totally can. But you also need to understand a fundamental piece of their fabric.

Yeah.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Yanno how the birthday interviewers are chosen by luck (i think,idk) imagine miss raven being chosen as jades interviewer? He would be a very lucky eel indeed~ *wiggles eyebrows intensely*

I thought someone was roleplaying Grim in my inbox because of how that first Anon's ask was phrased 💦

MAN. If Miss Raven were Jade's interviewer ajdbasdailasdas you'd have to hold her back from bonking him with a clipboard she'd probably try to be all professional about it? Whereas Jade gives roundabout responses to prolong the interview, just to push her buttons.................

HLABDBABILDASDI ANYWAY, IT'S PIE TIME.

***Credit for Miss Raven's artwork goes to @shimmeryspark!***

Imagine this...

I’ll sneak in to leave my present, then I’ll leave before anyone notices me. Yes, that’s what I’ll do. He doesn’t need to know I was here.

Raven clutched a gift box to her chest, keeping it guarded as she wove by rowdy party guests, her head low so as to avoid detection. The box was teal and dusted with golden powder, tied together with a bow that glistened like sunken treasure. She had used the ribbon to secure a small bunch of preserved flowers atop the box, which gave off a faint, pleasant aroma.

And inside? A bottle of her latest concoction: Second Skin. The enchanted ink started off with a base of green-blue with an intense purple shift, and when imbued with certain ingredients and a dash a magic (trade secret, shhh!), its colors were ever-changing. Peacock blue, emerald, turquoise, deep violet, gold--it reminded her of the tail of a mermaid, his other form.

How easily he sliced through the waves, how the light reflected off of his sharp angles and flickering fins. A mouthful of sharp teeth, the glimmer in his eyes. Deadly beauty from the deep.

She could see him in the distance if she strained her ears and listened for his musical laughter. He was decorated in whipped cream, an unfettered, yet gentle smile at his wistful lips.

Enjoying himself.

Raven furiously shook her head. No, don’t think of that. Focus.

She ducked behind a leaning tower of presents and, steadying it with one hand, plopped her box down at its base. 

There. Now I just have to...

“Raven. You’re here.”

She jumped, almost stumbling into the gifts. Her head snapped in the direction of the voice--and thankfully, it wasn’t the birthday boy, but Silver.

Perhaps it was his penchant to attract the forest critters (and her being a bird), or perhaps it was his overall reserved demeanor, but Raven had always found Silver to be safe. Someone steadfast and kind. The perfect fairy tale knight--maybe even a prince.

“You startled me, Silver-senpai.”

“I apologize. I thought you might have been someone suspicious from the way you were sneaking around.” He raised an eyebrow. “I was under the impression that you were already acquainted with Jade. It’s not as though you’re sneaking in uninvited to the party, so I don’t see why you’d...”

“SHHHHHH!” Raven hissed, pressing a finger to her mouth. “You’ll summon him if you speak his name out loud!”

“He’s not a demon or a monster. Jade has assured me of that.”

“Yes, he is!! You have no idea what he’s capable of...!!”

“Oya, to think that my own guests would be gossiping about me behind my back. It is a rather troubling notion.”

“You see? We should drop the subject before Jade finds... out... Raven’s voice slowly trailed off as horrible realization set in. “... He’s right behind me, isn’t he?”

“Yes.”

Her heart sank as a hand clamped down on her shoulder.

“How good of you to join my birthday festivities,” Jade murmured.  His voice was a croon, the sort of tone put on to soothe others--or coax them into a false sense of security.

Raven flew away, slamming her back against the wall that was Silver’s chest. “I-I’ve completed my delivery, so I’ll be excusing myself now!”

“Wait.”

This time, it was Silver who placed his hands on her shoulders. His touch was not as firm as Jade’s, and it carried a reassuring quality to it. Raven’s stomach fluttered--and at once, she understood why the birds of NRC campus flocked to the sleepy student.

“Before you go, you should do Jade the courtesy of wishing him a happy birthday.” Silver produced a pie from a nearby table and held it out to her. “I’ve already had the first hit. Now it is your turn.”

“Fufu. An excellent idea, Silver-san.”

“What?! You want me to pie him!?”

“... Is there any other way to properly wish someone a happy birthday?” Silver stepped back and bowed. “Then, I leave it to you.”

She froze, staring incredulously between her two upperclassmen and the pie. Between a rock and a hard place (and the door that she desperately wished she could throw herself through).

“Well, Miss Raven? I am waiting.”

“Um...” Raven shyly glanced at the ground. “Jade, c-can you...”

“Yes?”

“C-Can you bend down?!”

A moment of silence elapsed. Then a low chuckle slipped out from the eel, his shoulders shuddering with laughter.

“I-It’s not funny!” Raven insisted, stomping a foot. For a second, she dropped all pretenses of maturity. “I-It’s too hard for me to reach your stupid face like this...!!”

“I never said that it was.”

To her surprise, Jade drew himself down--almost like a lithe cat, stretching out his long limbs. A few centimeters was all the distance left between them. So close, she could make out the golden ring set in his left eye, see the sparkle of the light as it reflected off of his earring. His long lashes, the glisten of his lips, the warmth radiating off of him...

Raven reddened. Maybe that wasn’t such a good suggestion after all.

Jade chuckled, tucking his black stripe of hair behind one ear. His gaze locked with hers, and his lips parted. “... Will this suffice for you to ‘reach my stupid face’?”

“I-IT WORKS JUST FINE!!” Raven stammered. She instinctively shoved the pie at him, unable to stand staring him right in the eyes for prolonged periods of time. At this distance, it wasn’t so much of a throw as much as it was pushing the pie right into him.

Raven carefully rolled her hands, smothering every bit of Jade’s face with whipped cream. She took her time to meticulously smear it on, as though she were a painter, the pie was her medium, and Jade was the masterpiece to be put to canvas. Then--just for good measure--she smothered him with the pie a second time, leaving his face as an almost indiscernible, just a white cloud of cream.

She pulled back with an empty platter and let out a triumphant huff, pleased with her work.

“... If I didn’t know any better, I would think that you were intentionally trying to suffocate me with sweetness,” Jade mused, wiping a blob of cream off of his lower lip, “but sweetness, I find, is not your weapon of choice. Words are, yes?”

“What is your point?”

Raven suddenly felt a slight coolness on the tip of her nose. A white blob made itself known in her periphery as Jade withdrew his finger--he had cheekily left a dollop of whipped cream on her.

Wasn’t this just on...

Her face deepened--and her throat seized.

“Then I will simply have to steal those words away,” Jade declared with a snicker.

He looked absolutely ridiculous in that birthday jacket, and so uncool with a face full of whipped cream. Even so, Raven’s stomach churned. A movement far more tempestuous than what she had felt for Silver.

There were so many things she wanted to say to him, and not nearly enough time to blurt them all out. And so, holding the words close to her heart, she recited them only to herself.

Happy birthday, Jade.

I love you.

[flirting-with-psychology]

[zombiebandido]

Can you recommend any Neil Gaiman to me, aside from Stardust or Good Omens? I cannot

What’s the best concert you’ve been to, if you’ve been? Idk, I think I’m just not huge on concerts

What’s the funniest screenname you’ve ever seen? i-run-with-scissors-to-feel-dangerous

Is there an animal you like that most people don’t? Don’t think so

Is there an animal that you think is overrated in terms of how it’s liked? Goats or cows, maybe

Is there a time period you think is underrated? Not really

What about music? Showtunes

Do you find yourself listening to music that’s a bit more esoteric? No

What are your three favorite books and why? Harry Potter because of the worldbuilding, Mistborn because of the worldbuilding and characters, A Confusion of Princes because it is a fun standalone book

What about authors? Idk, I mostly like specific books  Do you have any likes you wouldn’t tell someone until you got to know them? Nah probably not

Do you have a favorite language? Not really

What about a place you’ve always wanted to visit? Ireland

What’s something someone does or says that just makes you laugh? Idk, it’s usually situational

Do goldfish crackers ever make you sick, or is that just me? No?

Do you have a favorite art style? Probably realistic

Do you have a favorite myth/fairy-tale? No, sorry I’m being boring with this quiz

Who is your favorite person aside from family? Probably my bff

Do any of your pets (if you have them) have weird quirks? My cat was just very emphatic

Do you listen to music from anywhere besides America? Not really

Have you ever “quit” a site and came back to it more than once? No

Do you have an “odd” fascination with anything? Dice

What is the thing you want most at this moment? An interesting job and a return to normal from the pandemic

What was the last book you read and what was it about? I’m currently reading The Martian about an astronaut stranded on mars

What was the worst book you’ve ever read & why? Walk Two Moons because the twist ending fucked me up

Do you have a favorite breed of dog or cat? Which? Golden retrievers

If you like any anime/manga, what are some titles you recommend? I don’t really like it

What do you think about school in general? I thought it was interesting and I wish I could go back

What’s the hardest thing you’ve been through, & what did you learn from it? Maybe the braces. Dk what I learned from it

What are three “unrealistic” things you want most? An interesting creative job with steady and high pay lol, the lottery, the good place experience from The Good Place

What are some of your favorite foods? Pasta, chocolate, cereal. I am a simple girl

Where do you like to buy your clothes? Kohl’s, Macy’s, and thrift shops

Do you take any daily vitamins? When I remember

Who are three of your favorite fictional characters of all time? Kelsier from Mistborn, Sirius Black from Harry Potter, Raydan Lykel from The Crown and the Flame

If you had to give the world a pre-existing mythological/fictional being, what would it be? Idfk

When buying Slurpees, if you do, do you get only one flavor or mix them? Mixing is fun

Do you have a favorite 7Eleven food? No

Do you have any desire to learn (a) foreign language(s)? Which? Not strongly

If you could have any career, “realistic”-ness aside, what would it be? Something in film maybe

What are three memorable movies from your childhood? The Little Mermaid, Harry Potter, Barbie as the Princess and the Pauper

Do you, personally, put a space after ellipses, or not? Let me check... do I? I guess I do

What do some of the things that inspire you have in common? Making things

Micky D’s sweet tea, y/n/other? No

What are three of your best (non-physical) qualities? Creativity, honesty, smarts

What are three of your worst (again; non-physical) qualities? Stubbornness, anxiety, lack of empathy

What is one of your firmest beliefs? I don’t really have firm beliefs

Do you ever question things until you’re unsure of even the silliest thing? Yes

Do you have anything that keeps you from doing something you’d truly enjoy? Anxiety and procrastination, and money

What are your three biggest pet peeves (personality-wise) in others? Holier-than-thou people, acting like you’re too cool for fun, being unsafe

Do you work to fix your faults? Or at least, admit to them? I admit to most of them but I’m not so great at working on them

What are three of your best physical qualities? (NOT EYES!) Why not eyes? Other than that, I guess hair color, boobs, singing voice (at least I’d like to think so)

What are some of your greatest aspirations? Do something fun, have a good social life, see what I would look like in my prime

How do you hope the world will change, if at all? Get done with the pandemic, stop having capitalism be so shitty

Who are three (fairly known) people you find very intriguing? Taylor Swift, Voldemort, F. Scott Fitzgerald

What are three things that make you the happiest? hanging out with friends, crafts, cuddling with my boyfriend

What is/are your view(s) on god, religion, spirituality, or relations to? I don’t believe in them

Are you arachnophobic or scared of spiders in the least? YES

Do you play WoW? What do you think of it either way? No, I am just not that into video games

What kind of computer do you have? Windows 7/Vista/XP/Other? Macbook Pro

What are you good at? Crafts and school

What career do you hope to have? Something creative

Are you taking any interesting classes in school/do you not attend? I’m finished with school but I wish I could go back

If you don’t attend, are you taking any “lessons” for anything? No

A book/piece that has had an exceptional impact on your life? Harry Potter

If you know of pandora.com, what is your favorite station? I haven’t listened to pandora in ages

Have you ever “lost” a friend in any way? How did you deal? Some just faded away but some actively ditched me and I tried to find out why

Any music recommendations? Showtunes

What are at least three of your biggest fears? Spiders, living a mundane life, covid right now

Most recently read book that you liked? A Confusion of Princes

Do you have a piece of jewelry you don’t like to take off? No, I have so many that I like to alternate them

Do you have a favorite quote? Why is it your favorite? Carpe Diem. Haven’t lived it much lately though Any odd pastimes you have? Making lists and charts

Are you quirky in any way? (Name them please). My fashion sense especially in high school, the nerdy things I do

Have any practices you aren’t opposed to but wouldn’t do yourself? Probably a lot, I’m generally of the live and let live mindset

Political standing?

Left

Do you have any piercings/what do you think about piercings? I just have my ears pierced

Do you have a favorite material? I’m a fan of soft materials like suede or velvet, also metals like copper and silver

What are three names you’d name a pet if you HAD to get a pet right now? It depends on the pet

Do you like to listen to dorky/amusing music? Idk

Coffee vs. Tea vs. Energy Drinks: Order from favorite to least favorite. Tea, energy drinks, coffee

Do you like more “fruity” sweets or “savory” sweets? Fruity unless it’s chocolate

What do you hate the most? Spiders

What genres of music are your favorite? Showtunes

Do you believe in true love? Idk

Do you believe in love at first sight? If yes, why? No

What are some of your favorite clothing accessories? Jewelry

If reincarnation exists, what sort of person would you want to be next?

One of those outgoing guys that always has adventures with his friends What are some things you believe strongly in? Idk

Where’s your favorite place you’ve been? London was pretty cool, also Italy

What sort of books and movies do you like? For books: sci-fi, fantasy, dystopia. For movies: rom-com, sci-fi, musical

What’s your favorite thing to do on a rainy Saturday? Idk, just stay in

Is there a book you’ve read that really touched you? The Great Gatsby just because I related to Gatsby a lot

Do you have a favorite artist? Taylor Swift

PC or MAC? Mac

What do you love doing? Crafts, shopping, board games

If you could create the perfect world for yourself, what would it be? Basically just the good place from The Good Place. Unlimited time and resources to learn and try things without pressure to make money off it

Do you think that fate plays a part in people’s lives? Not really

Are you religious, spiritual, atheist…? Atheist

What are your opinions on the media? The media is a very broad range of things

Do you think that people throw the words “love” and “hate” around too much? Idk

What is your favorite piece of technology that you own? My laptop

What’s a piece of technology you’d like to own? I have what I want at the moment.

Are you afraid of technology developing to where we’re too reliant on it? A little bit of getting to the point where a lot of jobs get replaced with AI, because instead of making lives easier like they could be, there will just be a huge unempolyment problem that our stupid capitalist society won’t solve

Does it bother you when people do things to fit in with a certain crowd? If it’s not what they want to do

Hot or cold? Cold Do you think that Bzoink should extent the character amount for questions? I don’t use Bzoink

Do you have a favorite combination of complimentary colors? Maybe green and pink

Do you know why all the young people who have nice cars always look grumpy? I don’t think I’ve noticed that

What’s your favorite odd ice cream flavor? Lemon Sorbet or Coffee Toffee Bar Crunch

Where do you like to get your ice cream? Haagen Dasz or Ben and Jerry’s

What’s your opinion on stereotypes/labels? Idk

Do you ever use random word generators for Bzoinkoids?

What?

Do you believe that history repeats itself? It sure seems like it is

Would you rather learn from your mistakes or just undo them? Learn from them

What was the most interesting class you had in school? My words and music class in college Do you write? If so, what? I used to write poetry, I sometimes come up with stories but I don’t really write them

Do you have a favorite website? Tumblr and Etsy

Do you think that the quality of TV shows is going down? No, there are usually good ones to discover

Do you have a favorite culture? Maybe Celtic. I just like the art patterns What was a story you heard as a child that really affected you? The Headless Horseman scared me a lot

Who was your favorite grade-school teacher and why? My third grade teacher and my 6th grade math teacher

Do you think that the world will end? How? Probably in a few billion years when the sun turns into a red giant

Do you believe in Global Warming? Have you researched it? Yes but I haven’t researched it

Do you prefer piercings or tattoos? Tattoos

Do you remember your dreams? Sometimes

[frumfrumfroo]

What are your favorite movies and TV shows outside of SW? I’m looking for new things to watch since SW was so disappointing

My tastes are pretty eclectic, so I will stick to just things that are either similar to sw or are in the reylo-esque romance wheelhouse and have happy endings:

Chuck. It is a goofy, light-hearted action-adventure show with extremely endearing characters and a very prominent central romance (seriously, heavy romance and there is a lot of payoff for it, you will be FED- it's kind of slow burn but also shockingly NOT slow burn, they are deep into it pretty much immediately). The main couple is the classic Stoic Badass gradually softened by an innocent they have to protect who is a liability in battle but full of the Power of Heart. Chuck is The Heart btw. He is of that vanishingly rare male Beauty (of B&tB) type. He's incredibly generous and open, Sarah is prickly and closed-off. It is Quality. Very much a gender-swap of your typical cliche anime couple lol. I would recommend stopping at the mid-season finale in season 4, because it's downhill from there. The beginning of season 3 is very rough, but it's definitely worth it to stay for the back half, imo. There are several great endings to choose from before things go to shit, so we don't need to talk about the finale. Probably the most tonally similar to SW thing possible without being high/space fantasy. More humour, more silly, but definitely has a spiritual kinship. Has the best THE BEST 'secret revealed' scenes I have ever seen in anything. If you're into that and were hoping for that in ep IX, you need to watch Chuck.

The Shop Around the Corner. 1940 romance/drama film. You've Got Mail is a remake of it. Jimmy Stewart being profoundly adorable, Frank Morgan (aka the Wizard of Oz), various amusing side characters, and an absolutely deathless double blind 'secretly in love with the workplace nemesis' plot that can and probably has been a great reylo AU.

Mirromask. Fantasy/coming-of-age film. Touted as a 'spiritual successor' to Labyrinth by the filmmakers (one of whom is Neil Gaiman) and let me tell you, that is extremely apt. Beautiful, magical, laden with symbolism and Mask Discourse, and has a great ship. I quote it regularly.

Speaking of which, I'm sure you've seen Labyrinth? If you haven't seen Labyrinth, drop everything and watch Labyrinth.

Legend (the Ridley Scott director's cut, not the theatrical cut). Sumptuous fairy tale, runs on proper fairy tale logic, stunning to look at and overall captivating. Tim Curry. Tim Curry as a lonely tragic lord of darkness who tries to seduce the heroine and has drippingly overwrought monologues.

Howl's Moving Castle. Fairy tale adventure/romance film. Beautifully animated, has the ending you want.

The Silence of the Lambs. Thriller/drama film. Actual masterpiece. Use it as a gateway drug to read the books and rejoice that Clannibal is canon and it is spectacular. Just SotL and Hannibal, you don't need to read the other two. Stan Clarice Starling and revel in that ending. Most triumphant 'villain'/heroine ship of all time (he is not technically a villain but for shorthand's sake).

The Adventures of Baron Munchausen. Terry Gilliam 1988 fantasy/adventure film. THE TRIUMPH OF IDEALISM OVER CYNICS I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH HOW HEALING IT WAS TO WATCH AFTER THE TROS BULLSHIT HIT. Jonathan Pryce's spiritual villain is basically Chris Terrio and it is cathartic to see imagination and sentiment conquer him.

Sabrina. 1995 romance film. Modern fairy tale with Harrison Ford. Rejecting what you thought you wanted all your life for the thing you actually need, growing up but still believing in magic, beautiful character development across all the leads. Could be (and is irrc) a fantastic reylo AU.

The Scarlet Pimpernel. 1934 adventure film. High romance, secret identities, play-acting, people who aren't at all what they appear to be, falling in love with your own spouse, Big Heroism, guile and wit and audacity. It makes me do little kicks like a happy baby. This is one of the 3-5 films constantly tied for my favourite film of all time. There is a good quality rip free on youtube. Watch it and fall in love with Leslie Howard (this is possibly my favourite acting performance of all time).

Oh, related note. Pygmalion 1938 or My Fair Lady. (The musical is based on this film and borrows from it heavily, including its much more romantic ending compared to the original play.)

The Mummy. 1999 action/adventure/romance film. Very tonally similar to sw. A fucking great time, A+ characters.

EVER AFTER. 1998 romance film. The flawless and perfect and best ever Cinderella adaptation. This is the most satisfying film in history, maybe, the ending is so good it is amazing it exists. Also, it has Richard O'Brien being slimy. Huge selling point. Grapples with identity and stewardship, is brilliant.

Fruits Basket. drama/romance anime. I haven't watched the new version yet, but it's following the manga so I know the story. The original anime didn't do the whole plot (because they caught up with the source material) but it's wonderful and I still recommend it. The central ship is (spoiler.........) a B&tB type where we eventually discover the main love interest both feels like a figurative monster and turns into a literal monster. He has an incredible speech about his relationship with people's fear, it makes me weep. I called the endgame from the first episode and always thought it was obvious, but there is a red herring love triangle dynamic. It's really not annoying, though, because it is a red herring. (I hate love triangles)

I am Dragon. Russian monster romance film. Beautiful, simple fable with a really great heroine.

Jane Eyre. 1943 Gothic Romance film. It's Jane Eyre, byronic hero x sensible heroine love story with much atmosphere and Gothic drama. I stan this version because I am an Orson Welles fangirl and I'm also not convinced it can be improved upon. Elizabeth Taylor's film debut btw.

Hellboy. 2004 action/adventure/romance film. Defying destiny, reconciling identity, monster romance. The complete package and a great time. Tonally similar to SW and probably thematically closest to it out of this whole list. Don't watch the sequel.

Beauty and the Beast 1987 tv series. Exactly what it says on the tin. Deals with the classic B&tB themes, but in a different way. He's not cursed and will never transform into an ordinary man. The first season is very episodic and 'case of the week', but the second season gets more into character drama. It's dated, but if you give it a chance you can get past some of the cheese factor and it's really a unique experience. Its concerns are SO atypical that it feels like something fandom would make rather than a mainstream network show. It was so massively, insanely popular with women at the time that a record of Vincent (the beast) reading poetry topped the album charts. Also Ron Perlman and Linda Hamilton. Stop at season two. Point of interest: George RR Martin wrote for this show.

Stargate (the movie not the series) sci-fi fantasy about a nerdy guy who accidentally a hero.

Possession. 2009... mystery/supernatural/romance. Okay. This is a whole thing. Lee Pace and Sarah Michelle Gellar. It's based on a Korean film I've never been able to find for some reason, but being Hollywood they ruined the romanticism and nuance of the original in the theatrical cut to make a shitty punative ending. However. If you buy it on dvd and go to the alternate ending (which follows the original story) with around 20 minutes left (scene after Lee Pace's character wakes from a bad dream-go to deleted scenes and select the alternate ending), you will get a very, very interesting character study/thriller/redemption about sincerity within deception, compassion, and a major question about second chances with a positive answer. It's kind of dark and kind of astonishingly idealistic at the same time. The heroine makes a very powerful choice, twice over. It's fascinating. If you're into the conflicted and uncertain period in reylo, the part where he is most ambiguous, and you wanted more of that and much darker shades to it, you might be really into this. Also, it should be noted, there is a MASSIVE height difference and they show it off. The film is flawed (and the seams show on the Hollywood rewrite) but idk, it's fascinating. Shocking to me that they even got to shoot the original ending. It is pretty balls to the wall with its themes on forgiveness.

I would recommend getting into kdramas because there is a wealth of female-gaze tropey amazing content, but always check the ending before getting invested. My all-time fave is the 1st Shop of Coffee Prince, but it's not sw related at all lmao. It has a happy ending with all the elements you'd want, but it's not satisfying in execution, so that's it's major flaw and I find that pretty common with kdramas. One that is maybe more relevant is My Love from Another Star, which has a hero who is a little bit like Ben in personality. The heroine isn't my favourite, though. It does have a decent ending.

Oh yeah- brain fart. Kurosawa films and classic westerns were both very influential on SW. Or you can combine both and watch The Magnificent Seven.

[thebeauregardbros]

“The Ultimate Character Questionnaire”: Alus Beauregard

a fuckton of random questions abt alus ramblingly answered

questions stolen from [here]. i cut out ones that ask the same questions i accidentally answered prior, or just didn’t interest me enough to answer, so if you wanna do this for your own OC I recommend copy+pasting it from the source!

Basic Character Questions

First name? Alus (pronounced ‘Ah-Loose’)

Surname? Beauregard (taken from adoptive father)

Nicknames? Alus wants to be called “Al” but it doesn’t stick because his name is already short. Lots of people unfortunately call him Alice. he does not like that

Date of birth? unknown but he celebrates his birthday on All Saint’s Wake (aka Halloween)

Age? Funfact: Alus and Arc’s age is the age between the RPers’ real-world ages (I’m 24, Arc’s player is 25, but for a brief period Arc’s player becomes 26 while I’m still 24.) So they’re going to be 25 this year (2020)... what the fuck. stop growing. dont do that.

Physical / Appearance

Height? I... he’s tall. Despite Alus being the max height for Miqo’te characters (5′8″/173cm), other male Miqo’te RPers say their characters are taller than that anyway, so I’m like.. not sure what to answer. I don’t want to break reasonable canon of what’s possible for Miqo’te but I also don’t want him to be short or average sized in comparison to other average Miqo’te. I’m just gonna say, definitively, “Alus is tall for a Miqo’te”. If you have a tall Miqo, Alus is just as tall. Or half an inch taller. Take that as whatever you want. I’m tired.

Weight? I... don’t know? This question really doesn’t clarify anything to me; people can be the same height and weight and look totally different in body type. If you absolutely had to get an answer from me, my best guess is maybe somewhere between 170lbs-180lbs? (assuming he is 5′8″)

Build? Wide shoulders, slender hips, long legs, big wide chest and a nice strong core. He is muscular; burly and brawny; his body type feels intimidating and large. He has a healthy amount of fat over his muscles, but still has much clearly visible muscle especially while flexing.

Hair colour? Golden blonde; it’s got a subtle yellow-ish tone that reminds you of sunshine.

Hair style? Alus’ hair is naturally thick and wavy. His hair is grown out long; about armpit length. His hair is choppy, even somewhat feathered. It’s a bit badly damaged from years on the road, but the split ends and fly-aways sparkle brilliantly in the sunlight like a messy halo around his head. His hair naturally very poofy, like damaged 80s hair. Long bangs that were once pushed back fall gracefully over his face like a wild child running about in spring. Whilst resting away from work, he braids it loosely.

Eye colour? Heterochromia; A raspberry red in one pupil, and a sun-shiny yellow-orange in the other.

Eye Shape? Thin and serious, and slightly down-turned. Small double-lid.

Glasses or contact lenses? His eyes are overall pretty healthy, but he’s slightly far-sighted. He uses glasses once in awhile to read, but they’re not super necessary.

Distinguishing facial features? Heterochromia and his adult male Miqo’te markings. He tends to wear purple eyeshadow around his eyes and a subtle purple lip tint.

Which facial feature is most prominent? The facial structure of Alus more resembles an Elezen than a typical Miqo’te; he has a long slender nose, a oval face shape and noticeably high cheekbones.

Which bodily feature is most prominent? Alus’ lion-like tail is somewhat unique among other typical Miqo’te.

Other distinguishing features? His style of dress tends to stand out in a crowd; he favors pure white and soft pastels over more popular color tones among adventurers like blacks and greys. Also unlike the typical adventurer, he is more want to wear fabrics of the fancy and soft nobleman, decked out in frills and lace like a prince locked far away in a chamber more than any man on a dusty and bloody battlefield.

Skin? Uh... a... “medium tan” skintone? (again I have no idea how tf I’m supposed to figure out labels for skin tones when there’s no widely used phrases for specific tones fghdjkgh) with a “warm gold undertone”. The small amount of skin that’s ever exposed upon him is surprisingly soft, as if he never did much hard work in his life. [SPOILER]Underneath his clothes, however...The countless scars upon his torso, back, legs and upper-arms are rough and hard, like treated leather.[/SPOILER]

Birthmarks? Not that he knows of. He has lots of scars from messing around in his childhood but he can’t remember the origin of them all. Any of them could be birth marks as far as he can tell.

Tattoos? None! And he never plans to get one. He has yet to see any tattoos that match his personal aesthetics of what he’d put on his body yet and even if he did, he can’t imagine liking them enough to want to get one.

Physical handicaps? [SPOILER]Numbness in various small patches of skin throughout his body.[SPOILER]

Type of clothes? I already answered this somewhat but if you’re curious about specifics, I made [this pinterest] of stuff I’d imagine he’d wear. Pretty much just take the “aristocrat” Japanese street fashion genre and turn it white, and give it a bit of a gold trim. Lots of frills and lace; heavily inspired by fantastical shoujo manga glorified depictions of what a Prince Charming looks like in medieval setting fairy tales.

How do they wear their clothes? Some (not all) of the specific guidelines I have in my head of what his wardrobe’s like; Colors are only pastels, white, or gold - once in a blue moon he might wear a rich dark raspberry red color or bright orange or yellow. He will NEVER wear grey or black. Pants have to be long enough to reach the ankles. He prefers wearing his shirts tucked-in. Clothes MUST fully cover everything on his body excluding head, neck, and hands at all times - low neckline acceptable in off-duty time. Under special occasions only (ie beachware); lower arms, top of feet or shins can be uncovered. He wears a lot of jabot ties.

What are their feet like? (type of shoes, state of shoes, socks, feet, pristine, dirty, worn, etc) Alus takes his quality of fashion seriously. He’s the type of guy who wears expensive fancy soft white socks trimmed with gold nobody will ever see with the little suspenders on his legs to keep the socks from sagging down. He adores wearing white pointed dress shoes, especially if they have a bit of a high heel. Gold jewelry or buckles are lovely, and any shoe with lace, bows, ribbons, fancy beadwork or faux flowers are supreme. (Google image search ‘Bridal Boots’ if you wanna see his shoes. He’d seriously wear any of them.)

Race / Ethnicity? hhhhhhhhh it’s 5am man I dont have the energy to google faces until i find a reasonable faceclaim and try to figure out that person’s ethnicity... they’re Fantasy Characters... alus is a miqo’te.. maybe had some elezen or hyur in his lineage? idk

Mannerisms? Alus is like a living embodiment of a cartoon Disney prince. I don’t know how to better describe it; He’s elegant and gentle for the most part but can also so comically stiff you could mistake him for an automaton or a piece of background cardboard - then when the moment hits, he can spring into an unrealistic slapstick looney toon nightmare. He always seems to be in a constant state of floating between elegance, stiffness, and slapstick. There is never a break. There is never an in-between.

Are they in good health? For their active life circumstances of constant physical hardship, they are in amazingly good health.

Do they have any disabilities? I don’t think of ADHD as a disability (and I’m saying that as someone who has autism and most likely ADD or ADHD myself) but it’s classified by a lot of people as a disability. So yeah, uh, Alus absolutely has ADHD.

Personality

Are they more optimistic or pessimistic? Definitely more optimistic, sometimes to a fault. I think there’s a degree of choice in there but he’s kinda lost the boundary between blind trust and trying to believe in people and situations because he morally wants to. He is still a worry wart, and that is what causes him to fight so hard as he does for making things around him better as well as making himself better - but I think he makes a very active effort of not letting anyone see that part of him, maybe in an effort to convince himself as well that everything is and will be okay.

Are they introverted or extroverted? Extroverted in a lot of ways and introverted in others. Alus loves and thrives around people, and I think he’s a bit more drained than the average person when he’s alone vs. being in a crowd, but he’s still living more as an introvert - one-on-one deep talks can make him extremely anxious. He’s great at the surface niceties but can often find himself too devoted to strangers, which leads him into trouble sometimes. He’s like a really great social co-worker and a extremely awkward off-duty member of society that doesn’t really know how to function or navigate normal relationships.

Do they ever put on airs? A b s o l u t e l y. Alus’ entire persona is carefully hand-crafted over a lifetime. It’s not to say “This isn’t who he really is, he’s a liar”, but moreso “He’s not quite the person he wishes he was yet.” He makes a really large effort to put on airs of this confident and beautiful Princely type of heroic figure straight out of a fairy tale where he simultaneously knows that such a goal is impossible, since this isn’t a story book - this is real life, he is flawed and complicated, and nothing is as perfect as you wish it was. But he keeps trying no matter what.

What bad habits do they have? Low-key bullying his brother, for sure. Arc is the only person Alus just can’t really put on airs with so his perfect image just breaks down around him. While Alus appears to be a very gentle and kind individual around other people, he’ll comically slap and roast his brother without mercy. (Don’t worry; it’s mutual between them.)

What makes them laugh out loud? Almost anything. Alus is definitely a big giggler, and an even bigger loud spontaneous laugher.

How do they display affection? There’s two major levels of it. First, it’s showering you with little gifts - sweets, flowers, even money if you’re in need, with nothing asked in return. If you’re very close to him, it’s skinship; he loves spontaneously hugging others and holding hands and all that kinda platonic stuff. He’ll pretty much not let go of your arm if you’re around him. He also loves dancing with people, you bet he’ll do the whole nine yards of weaving you around him, lifting you above his head and dipping you.

Mental handicaps? Hates being touched. He has some really bad memories of being manhandled and despises any type of physical restriction on himself, especially from people he doesn’t find VERY close to him. He hates even more to be seen in casual clothes, especially clothes that expose his skin. He’s really not a fan of his exposed body and it’s gonna take a lot for him to get over it. He’s slowly getting better but it’s a long journey.  

How do they want to be seen by others? Someone to look up to; someone to rely on. He wants to be the hope for humanity, essentially. He wants to inspire others to heroism and kindness just by seeing him, and he wants to make the world a better place just by existing in it.

How do they see themselves? Someone who’s just not good enough; Someone who needs to keep working to be better; someone who’s chosen destiny is to be the hero of humanity.

How are they seen by others? Probably as a weirdo. He definitely comes off as eccentric; his strange comedic ramblings and sudden dancing mid-conversation, as well as his random gifts and bag full of pranks, magic tricks and fireworks just really feel off-the-wall. His immediate devotion to others may also come off as exceedingly suspicious. I think how he dresses and his cafe also indicate he’s kind of the ‘rich unhinged guy’ stereotype. People who know him well though know that he’s an extremely good person who would give you the clothes off his back if you needed them more. He loves humanity and would do anything for it.

Strongest character trait? His stubborn devotion to his ideals, for sure. If he wants something, he’ll work his hardest to make sure it happens.

Weakest character trait? Far too trusting of strangers; he gets taken advantage of very easily, and he’s almost always happy to come back for more. He’ll even give the biggest villain a 2nd and 3rd and 4th chance. His inability to condemn anyone as truly evil may cause far more hardship for everyone in the long run than if he just chose to kill the person or lock them up indefinitely and be done with it.

How competitive are they? Alus thrives in competitive environments due to an absolute love and adoration for sportsmanship. He does a fantastic job making his competitors have fun and feels that a competition that is too one-sided doesn’t have any fun or worth. He loves difficult competition because he feels that it helps better himself and his rival.

Do they make snap judgements or take time to consider? Oh, he’s absolutely a “strike now while the iron’s hot” type of a guy. He knows that even a second of a wait can change things for the worse. He’s also definitely a philosophical type that thinks over every possible scenario in his mind in his off-time, but ultimately, he’ll always be the one running off to get things done as soon as they’re brought to his attention. He’s the opposite of his brother, who wants to slow things down before making rash decisions. Alus just knows those decisions need to be made, so it might as well be now, so he just gets it done and worries about the outcome later.

How do they react to praise? He’s actually probably never used to it. I think he has a bit of a low self-esteem problem in how he sees himself as never quite as good as he wants himself to be, so praise can catch him off-guard pretty easily. He’ll cover that up by clumsily stating something comically over-the-top like “Of course, I am incredible! I am the best! Mwahahaha!” but not before gasping for air and stuttering like a shy schoolgirl first.

How do they react to criticism? He has a great ability to deflect toxicity into positivity; he asks what people mean and tries to understand them. I think if the criticism can be taken as constructive, he’s always happy to take it. If the criticism is just plain mean, I think he’ll ask if there’s anything he can do to help the person he’s talking to - he knows nobody would say such mean things to another unless they were having a pretty bad day.

What is their greatest fear? Oh, y’know. Losing his brother. Slugs and slimy things. If you wanna get painful and philosophical about it, I think he’s terrified of the future. He tries to live in the moment and just do the best he can at all times, but when he sees that what he does doesn’t help a lot of the world to stay safe, it freaks him out. In his mind, he’s doing a lot, but in reality - it’s not much at the grand scheme of things. He tries not to think about it too much. He tries not to think much of the past either - of all the mistakes, of what he could and couldn’t have done. It frustrates him. I guess you could say his greatest fear is his own limits. It never feels like he’s doing enough, or even if he ever could do enough.

What are their biggest secrets? [SPOILERS, OBVIOUSLY] Alus is absolutely disgusted with the military powers of the world, and the politicians. He tries to stay optimistic and bright on the outside - he stays useful and does what he can without complaint, he tries to lie to himself and say it isn’t too bad, tries to focus on the good these systems do, to be placated and trust his brother that things will work out alright in this setup - but he sincerely wishes that somehow they could be abolished entirely. He’s frustrated with the idea of any one person or power having control over the lives of others - people those single powers may never meet - will inevitably cause a lack of humanity and understanding of others. Nobody should have this power, not even him, not even the gods. As Alus’ writer, I don’t think he knows a good alternative, he just knows he’s seen enough immoral and inconsiderate shitfuckery in these systems that he can barely stand it anymore. I think many soldiers probably feel like this eventually. [/SPOILER]

What is their philosophy of life? literally just look at the [quote insp tag]

When was the last time they cried? I FEEL LIKE ALUS IS THE TYPE TO TEAR UP AT EXTREMELY COMMON SHIT TBH?? EVERYTHING IS SO BEAUTIFUL I STARTED CRYING TYPE??

What haunts them? [SPOILER]Literally just... becoming a soldier or a fighter to begin with. He wishes it never happened, he wishes the world didn’t need fighting to begin with. But he knows he can never go back now, and even if he did, he’d probably still become a soldier all over again. It’s all he can do in this violent, terrible world.[/SPOILER]

What are their political views? Notable traits would supporting equality rights for Beastmen, more funding towards helping refugees, more funding to adoption agencies and orphanages, more transparency about tax profit and spending, creating opportunities for different countries to share their culture.. etc. (Note: I like to believe that larger glaring IRL political issues like lack of LGBTQ+ rights, gender inequality, ableism, skin-color-based racism and other large current inhumane social problems aren’t problems in FFXIV’s universe. If your RP character uses bigotry in accurate line of these IRL social issues as a character trait, you are not welcome in my RP circle. Period.)

What will they stand up for? He hates violence in general, so he’ll do whatever he can to stop it. Anyone who seems to be controlling or keeping other people against their will is something he loathes. No means no!

Who do they quote? Urianger. like a lot. Probably mostly accidentally; he picks up a lot of vocal mannerisms from the guy.

Are they indoorsy or outdoorsy? Outdoorsy, for sure. He grew up under the stars and being forced indoors for a long time will probably give him feelings of anxiousness and claustrophobia, especially if the space is small. He has had some bad experiences being unable to go outside so he takes his freedom to roam outdoors very seriously.

What is their sinful little habit? He loves sweets. This guy is all about boasting a healthy diet, but his weakness shows the exact opposite. More serious answer: He tends to procrastinate bad, especially when it comes to his passive military duties.

How do they treat people better than them? If they breathe, they’re royalty. Utmost respect and courtesy. Treats them as if he’s the royal butler to their fancy ass selves, even if they’re the lowest of the low in poverty.

How do they treat people worse than them? Honestly? Pretty much the same answer as above. If he gets truly angry at someone, he’ll tell them how and why straight-up, but he’ll never stop giving them the respect and courtesy he believes every human being deserves.

What quality do they most value in a friend? Someone who is as ridiculously open-hearted and ready to confess love to the nearest person along with anything else in the world as Alus tends to do, but also someone who pays close enough attention to him that they can tell when he’s in distress. Alus has a hard time speaking up about when he feels uncomfortable, so someone who has a talent for empathy - detecting other peoples’ emotions - would be incredibly invaluable. That’s the fastest way to his heart.

What do they consider an overrated virtue? None, and all. He thinks that if anyone gets carried away with any traditional virtue to the point that they’re causing evil in the world, they’re just misguided. He understands that - or at least actively wants to understand that - so he can forgive.

If they could change one thing about themselves, what would it be? He... honestly thinks of himself as more of an Elezen than a Miqo’te. So anything that ‘gives away’ that he’s a Miqo’te, he could probably do without. He likes his ears and his tail though! But maybe if he was taller? lmao. (I don’t intend to ever Fantasia Alus FYI, MAYBE if male viera comes out and my partner agrees to it AND I have absolutely no active RP going on, but it’s very unlikely, and if it does happen it will be considered a retcon, not a character development)

What is their obsession? Definitely his aesthetics. He spends an incredibly large amount of time, effort, and money on making himself look and properly act like a “fairy tale prince charming”. It’s not only a philosophical mindset of being moral and heroic, but also being charming and supportive to everyone around himself. He honestly hopes and believes that if he succeeds in creating and upholding this image that every person who rests their eyes upon him will be filled with determination and hope that heroism and safety is real.

What are their pet peeves? He disapproves of the glorification of alcohol, smoking, or any other vices that are bad for the average person’s health. He won’t turn away the people with these vices as potential friends, but he’ll certainly be tempted to lecture them on it. He is also really not a fan of casual skinship between strangers, nor is he a fan of an aggressively pessimistic attitude, nor will he ever really be used to people who wear very little clothing (He isn’t disapproving of the sex industry or sex workers per say, he just doesn’t ‘get it’; he could never imagine himself in their shoes), nor is he a fan of other people trying to change him to be more chill about his aesthetic code (how he dresses, how he positively interacts with others, etc.) - but he tends to be more quiet about his dislike of these things. He tries to stay open minded and patient, but yeah, maybe it’ll take a bit longer to get to ‘close friend’ status with these things.

What are their idiosyncrasies? (special mannerisms?) His posture tends to be stiff as a board: too perfect, like some sort of breathing statue or mechanic humanoid, while at other times it’s as if a switch is flipped to make him become a crazy slapstick ragdoll. He tends to speak in a constant fluctuation of ‘ye olde English’ and common casual speech, and he keeps a few feet distance from people he isn’t especially close with at all times. He’s generous with money and far too trusting of strangers to the point it feels like an overblown parody of these traits. He’s painfully optimistic and takes compliments first with a moment of surprise before he adjusts his reaction with over-the-top narcissistic vigor. He’s a constantly faltering image of himself. He’s a walking symbolism of good-hearted chaos.

Friends and Family

Is their family big or small? Who does it consist of? The only people Alus regards as true family is his twin brother, Arc, and his late adoptive father, Gwenneg. There are other Beauregards in the world, and other great “found family”-esque friends yet to make, but Alus cannot imagine them ever meeting the kind of friendship and connection he has with his brother and had with his father. Perhaps he’s tried in the past, but it just never feels the same. He’s at the point he’s given up on the idea of it happening casually.

What is their perception of family? A close-knit group that is always there for eachother, practically living at eachother’s hips. The type of people you can just glance at and they can read your mind, and even if they disagree with you, they’ll go along with you and fix it later. They’re always up for improving eachother. They are essentially extensions of oneself, and like limbs, even if such is cut - it is carefully looked after and healed, the rest of the body worries and tries to better it, never blaming it’s limb for not being good enough. All part of one system.

Describe their best friend. Arc is undeniably Alus’ best friend. I feel a bit weird talking about my friend’s OC for them, but I will say this; Arc’s strengths are in his slow and strategic approach to things; his love of politics and ability to glide through them, the way he finds the best routes and setups in battle, the timing, everything down to the little tiniest details to turn a battle of either wits or blood - he thinks over all of it, something Alus lacks. And despite being much less prone to trust than the willingly naive Alus, he can find the good in just about anybody when it really comes down to it. Arc knows the dark side of this world and is constantly aware and remembering of it, but understands it’s still worth fighting for. He’s also got a pretty good fashion sense! He seems extremely shady when it comes to his bar business though... It seems to be played up as a joke, but you’re never quite sure as you’re talking to him about it.

Ideal best friend? In assumption this means ‘a best friend besides Arc’, I think Alus’ standards are low. Of course, he’d love to have someone who shares his basic interests of aesthetics and his moral philosophy that centralizes on a love for humanity, and the honor and strength of action to act on it, but he also wants to know someone who can teach him a lot. I think that type of person could be absolutely anyone, especially someone that is nothing like him. Alus doesn’t want to necessarily completely change himself through the journey of knowing anothers’ life, nor change someone else entirely either, even if it’s for the better. He just wants mutual understanding with others. He finds a joy that can be found nowhere else when he feels two people, who don’t have anything in common, can find a common ground. This kind of thing excites him. I think something in-between -- someone who is a lot like him in a lot of ways, but has a few traits he lacks completely -- is ideal for him. 

Describe their other friends / Describe their acquaintances. (combo’d) Alus doesn’t really have other people he regards true friends, I think. He kinda regards every person he meets as his friends. That’s really all there is to it for him.

Do they have any pets? No pets, just a lot of animals that follow him around for food scraps and snacks. He always has an open window for birds and butterflies, and an open door to dodos and chickens and stray cats. He enjoys the company of birds the most, though he’s a fan of the loyal doggy too. In terms of his mounts - He mainly only claims ownership over his military-issued chocobo for paperwork purposes, but regards her as a friend without a voice more than an animal under his ownership.  

Who are their natural allies? Anyone who agrees for humanitarian rights, I think. Alus just exists to be a hero, really.

Who are their surprising allies? People he once fought. He always reaches out a hand for people who’ve made mistakes and tells them that he’ll be their friend if they agree to stop their mean-spirited behavior.

Past and Future

What was your character like as a baby? As a child? Equal combination “good kid” and “absolute little shit”; On the surface, he’d always be loyal to his father and polite to strangers, but the second he and his brother got some time to themselves they’d get into all kinds of shenanigans - especially if they manage to find some way to conceal their identity. Most of those shenanigans were pranks trying to scare people with All Saint’s Wake-esque props. They were also a time they were absolutely not above purposely trying to confuse people on which brother was which whenever it was convenient or just funny.

Did they grow up rich or poor? Poor, but I think he still thought himself as lucky. He might not have had a big room to himself or a lot of possessions, but he got to travel the world and meet so many interesting people and see so many interesting things in his father’s caravan.

Did they grow up nurtured or neglected? Nurtured for sure. His family were joined at the hip.

What is the most offensive thing they ever said? I’m sure Alus used to have a potty mouth when he was a kid and young teen. He picked it up from being exposed to so many different individuals growing up. If he’s been around a lot of sailors in Lima Lominsa, I think it’s a safe bet that he probably swore like one too. After his father died that changed almost immediately though in order to honor his dad’s memory.

What is their greatest achievement? I’m sure there’s much more impressive individual achievements he has accomplished - monsters he’s fought, hostage situations he’s negotiated, villains he’s managed to persuade to become heroes, but if you asked him, he’d tell you that simply being lucky enough to be chosen to become one of the Warriors of Light or opening his cafe are the achievements he’s most proud of.

What was their first kiss like? [spoiler]Still haven’t had it![/spoiler]

What is the worst thing they did to someone they loved? I feel like even though Alus adored his father, he probably did a lot of things to make him worried or stressed out, maybe even ran away once or twice just for the fun of it. It was a lot more innocent time for Alus and I don’t think he’d do anything like that in adulthood.

What are their ambitions? Alus just wants to end all war. Full stop. It’s not that complicated. He doesn’t really know the most effective way how to, though. He just keeps doing whatever he can when people request his help - which usually ends up taking advantage of his physical combat skills.

What advice would they give their younger self? Cherish this time. Hug your father and tell him you love him more often. And maybe focus on being a medic or someone who helps the world peacefully more than someone who uses violence to solve the world’s problems. Maybe care a little more about politics.

What smells remind them of their childhood? Chamomile, road dust, seasalt,  and old fancy dusty antiques. 

What was their childhood ambition? To grow up to be a glamorous warrior that saves the world again and again and to rescue a pretty princess.

What is their best childhood memory? Dancing on the streets of Ul’dah with his brother for a little extra pocket money and becoming unexpectedly popular.

What is their worst childhood memory? Losing his father to the calamity and being passed between temporary foster homes again and again, then finally losing his brother in that mess, too.

Did they have an imaginary childhood friend? Alus left out honeyed milk for faeries all the time as a child. Post-calamity, he started to quietly make-believe that faeries and little unicorns visited him when he was particularly lonely or bored, or just wanted to escape his own mind for awhile.

When was the last time they were crushed with disappointment? [FFXIV POST-STORMBLOOD SPOILER]Hearing about Zenos’ body being revived against Zenos’ wishes for a perfect death.[/SPOILER]

What past act are they most ashamed of? Any time Alus can’t save someone from death. Sometimes, Alus must be the one to kill them himself. This is an unbearable sin to bear for him.

What past act are they most proud of? Any time he can save someone. Any time he can help the suffering of someone by giving a little coin. Every time he has made someone smile. It is all the most cherishable, wonderful memories to him. None better than the others.

Has anyone ever saved their life? His twin brother Arc probably on at least a weekly basis. I think saving eachothers’ lives is a regular thing on a battlefield, even if your ally is basically a stranger.

Strongest childhood memory? Just sitting underneath the stars, curled up under a blanket with his brother while they rest their head on their father’s lap as he reads them bedtime stories.

Love

Do they believe in love at first sight? Absolutely. Guy will trust anyone at the drop of a hat, why not fall in love, too?

Are they in a relationship? Not officially, no. I think he casually flirts a lot and has gone out on sporadic dates with many people, but he hasn’t become anyone’s “steady”.

How do they behave in a relationship? Alus is extremely inexperienced. I think he’ll end up trying so hard to show off to whoever he’s dating that he’ll become exhausted. He wants to treat his future spouse like royalty.

When did you character last have sex? [SPOILER]Never![/SPOILER]

What sort of sex do they have? Nothing kinky or out there, he’s a shy confused mess to begin with when it comes to sex - he’s probably very reserved and traditional about it. I should note that Alus is canonically asexual, even if he doesn’t fully realize it yet. He doesn’t really understand the appeal of sex but he’d want his significant other to be happy. [NSFW/18+] He’d definitely insist on being a top, though. [/SAFE!]

Has your character ever been in love? As an greyromantic writer, I have no fucking solid idea what romantic love is supposed to be defined as. If you define it as ‘fantasizing about having a certain person in mind as a future spouse’ then, yes, Alus has been in love loads of times.

Have they ever had their heart broken? Many times, but it rarely gets him down for too long - he’ll fall in love with the next person he sees, then the cycle restarts.

Conflict

How do they respond to a threat? A fake, forced smile. Explaining calmly to the enemy that what they’re doing is wrong. Explaining calmly to the enemy to drop it and go drink tea with him instead. If being calm doesn’t work, yelling at them about their hypocritical morality like some sort of shounen superhero making a speech.

Are they most likely to fight with their fists or their tongue? Tongue, for sure. Alus will be so painfully reasonable with his enemies that the only way he’s drawing his sword to fight is someone else draws first.

What is your character’s kryptonite? Like any hero, he’s a sucker for hostages. Also, math completely turns him fucking stupid. [SPOILER]Also... having his morality questioned, especially being accused of being a hypocrite.[/SPOILER]

If your character could only save one thing from their burning house, what would it be? A faerie tale storybook from his childhood his father read to him often when he was alive.

How do they perceive strangers? “A friend he doesn’t know yet.”

What do they love to hate? I don’t really imagine Alus truly ‘hates’ anything or anyone, just greatly dislikes or disapproves of them. And even then I think he doesn’t particularly enjoy disliking them. I don’t think he views negative feelings as something to be prideful over.

What are their phobias? Slugs and other slimy creatures, as well as mild situational claustrophobia.

What is their choice of weapon? His fists, for sure; there’s some sort of philosophy inside his mind that fighting with his bare hands or body without tools or weapons to aid him is the ultimate form of respect towards other human beings’ pain and livelihood - he wants them to know he shall feel pain right back if he strikes someone else, and he’s allowing himself the possibility to be hurt in return.

What living person do they most despise? I think anyone who justifies war or pain as a glorious and wonderful thing instead of a tragedy is someone he dislikes. Especially if said person has no respect for human life or the bodies of the fallen.

Have they ever been bullied or teased? Plenty. Unfortunately mostly his given name is particularly targetted. He’s also been called too soft plenty of times.

Where do they go when they’re angry? Home - his house is well soundproofed and cozy. He may go on an off-trail walk alone in the middle of Thanalan or the like.

Who are their enemies and why? The Garlean army, the Ascians.. do you really need to ask why? They wish to create death and chaos, that’s plenty of a reason enough.

Work, Education and Hobbies

What is their current job? Maelstrom military field medic, café proprietor, free paladin

What do they think about their current job? The café is seemingly always empty, but he doesn’t mind continuing to pour money into it. It’s a safe haven to him and a symbol of his independence from the violent life of military duty. Being a field medic is endlessly horrifying, but he’s glad he can help people. His status of Free Paladin makes him obligated to carry out duties to help Eorzea, which is something he’s proud of - but he is always not all that great at drawing his sword at the sign of trouble.

What are some of their past jobs? The only other “jobs” Alus has had in the past were mostly just side jobs for a little extra pocket money, mostly dancing on the street.

What are their hobbies? Dancing, capoeira martial arts, piano, tea brewing, baking, reading, writing, sketching, watercolor art, goldsmithing, fashion, bird keeping.

Educational background? Went to a school for accounting for a few years. He retained absolutely no information about accounting.

Intelligence level? Literate; can read older more complex texts easily. Good with maps. More of a “physical education” kinda guy.

Do they have any specialist training? Paladin training. Nothing else formal.

Do they have a natural talent for something? Weirdly incredibly good at parkour - stuff like navigating tightropes and climbing up buildings without any hesitation or struggle.

What is their socioeconomic status? At the moment, Alus is pretty well-off. He and his brother own their own business in the Lavender Beds, and Alus can afford high class clothes, hobbies, furniture and the like. He’s also prone to donate to charity near constantly.

Favourites

What is their favourite animal? whatever birds are ROUND

Which animal to they dislike the most? S L U G S

What place would they most like to visit? His cafe, honestly. It’s a safe haven.

What is the most beautiful thing they’ve ever seen? People.

What is their favourite song? Simply Satie

Music, art, reading preferred? Alus loves playing piano, drawing sketches and reading storybooks. I don’t think he could trade one for the other! (He’s awful at singing though.)

What is their favourite colour? Pale blue, white, yellow-gold, and pastel pink.

What is their password? “Password”. Nobody will ever get it!

Favourite food: La Noscean toast! (AKA French toast!) with lots of berries and whipped cream!

Who is their favourite artist? ??? ((OOC: if Alphonse Mucha was in FFXIV it’d be him idk))

What is their favourite day of the week? E V E R Y D A Y (but probably mostly Sunday)

Possessions

What is in their fridge: Fresh salad, fruits, fresh berries, vegetables, tofu, jackfruit, orange juice, leftover strawberry shortcake, protein shakes, leftover rice, eggs, butter, yogurt, frozen berries... and even fresh flowers?

What is on their bedside table? A dozen lighthearted fairytale and academic books on aether he recycles through reading every night as he goes to bed, a pitcher & glass of water, a vase with a flower in it, reading glasses, 3 inch tall lil stuffed dodo.

What is in their bin? Compost bin for old fruits/vegetables/egg shells/bread and a recycling bin full of paper and packaging garbage.

What is in their bag? A lot of coin, a hairbrush, a box of ice chilled flowers, travel-size beauty products, lots of fireworks and other fun little spectacle toys, a pocket-sized book of poetry, a basic armor polishing set, a miniature sewing kit, bandages, healing potions.

What is their most treasured possession? A very old and damaged book of fairy tales from his childhood.

Spirituality

Who or what is your character’s guardian angel? His adoptive father - at least, that’s what he wants to believe.

Do they believe in the afterlife? Yes! Very much so.

What are their religious views? [SPOILER]Alus has a complicated relationship with religion. For the most part of his life, he’s believed in The Twelve like every other Eorzean, but as he’s grown older he’s found himself more and more impatient and even disgusted of the cruelties that the gods allow to happen, and the ways followers of Nald’thal and Halone use their religion as a means to prey on the weak for the sake of money, classism, and racial disparity. Hearing the words of Garlean soldiers point out that proof that The Twelve exist is seemingly nonexistent has further disrupted Alus’ belief in them. Alus does, however, firmly believe in Hydaelyn.[/SPOILER]

What do they think heaven is? Alus has no true confident belief in what exactly the seven heavens are, but he likes to think heaven is a place where flowers bloom all the time, the weather is always warm and sunny, bugs don’t bother you and war and violence never happen, and relaxing tea parties are hosted all day long, clothes are comfortable and pretty and never soiled by dirt and mud no matter how much you play in the grass.

What do they think hell is? Like many Eorzeans, Alus believes in the seven hells. The seven hells are a place that one must climb out of to eventually make it to heaven, and depending on how bad of a person you were in life, the deeper in hell you start out in after you die, and the more you have to climb before you get upward into heaven. Alus finds great comfort in this ideology because it means that no matter how bad a person was in life, they may still find forgiveness and redemption in death.

Are they superstitious? I think he’s open-minded. He seems to discover so many legends of being real every day that it’s difficult for him not to believe in anything and everything he hears. He tries to be respectful of the unknown and follow their rules, but when push comes to shove it’s all about the grandest happiness for everyone - he will challenge whatever fae or ghostly apparition that wants to mess with him if he thinks what they’re doing is immoral or unfair. 

What would they like to be reincarnated as? A stream. A rosebush. A rainbow. Something that others can look at and feel at peace, something for others to enjoy. A way to give love without living a life that inevitably creates suffering through heroism. To just exist as part of the beauty in the world.

How would they like to die? He doesn’t know. Death scares him. He does not want to die in battle. He does not want to die sleeping in a bed. But he wishes he’ll be old. He wishes he’ll have lots of friends. And he wishes he did everything he could while he was alive to make the world a better place as much as he possibly could.

What animal is most like your character, spiritually speaking? .... A golden retriever. Eager to please, extremely loving and loyal, a strong body, picky about weird things, and incredibly goofy.

Values

What do they think is the worst thing that can be done to a person? Betrayal?? torture?? bullying?? rape?? what do you want from me. He hates all forms of toxic and violent behavior!!

What is their view of ‘freedom’? The ability to form your own path; the ability to be whatever you want, even if the dream seems impossible to everyone else. The ability to go anywhere you want, walk and run anywhere you want, travel anywhere you want. The ability to say no when you want. The ability to be respected as independent.

How often do they lie? NEVER!!!!!!! He might bend the truth a little bit or side-step an answer but even white lies he’s not into. He rarely needs to white lie about anything anyway; he tends to see the best in everything.

What’s their view of lying? BAD AND UNNESSESARY

How often do they make promises? Constantly.

How often do they keep or break their promises? He 100% keeps his promises unless he’s literally physically incapacitated and in which case he will apologize and try to make it up to you so much

Daily life

What are their eating habits? Vegetarian. He eats really healthy and he eats a lot. Big fan of asian food I think. Has no problems eating stuff that’s bland as hell; I feel like it’s part of his determination to better himself. Has a terrible weakness for sweets, though. Secretly hates stuff that’s slimy, like mushrooms, but he will never complain if it’s given to him.

Do they have any allergies? Nope, he’s lucky. If he does, he hasn’t discovered it yet.

Describe their home. Very white, tons of gold nouveau trim on everything, and tons of flowers everywhere. Looks like the home of royalty. [Here’s his housing aesthetic.]

Are they minimalist or a clutter hoarder? Neither, I think. Maybe leaning closer to minimalist over clutter-lover; he likes everything being clean and easy to access in his house. His design aesthetic of nouveau isn’t necessarily minimalist in inherent style though imo.

What do they do first thing on a weekday morning? Wakes up extra early, takes a quick cool shower to wake himself up, eats a quick and simple breakfast full of protein; most likely something with a lot of nuts and eggs as it’s ingredients + big salad. packs a simple lunchbox and starts his day: Every morning, he walks to the statues of Nald and Thal, viewing the warm pink sunrise in the process. he pays his respects to each; cleans and dusts with a simple cleaning kit he’s left there prior. Leaves some simple offerings. Finds somewhere nice and empty in Thanalan to do some excercises and martial arts training for the day. sits down and eats lunch afterwards. lazily walks home, takes another quick shower to get the sweat and dust off. while his hair is drying, he puts on makeup and decides a proper outfit to wear for the day. meets up with arc, goes on their obliged military-issued mission for the day.

What do they do on a Sunday afternoon? Makes an effort to drag Arc over to his place for a big fancy dinner. Tea and crumpets as an early evening appetizer. Alus cooks everything while Arc hangs out and talks, lending a bit of help when Alus demands asks for him. Arc sneaks in alcohol. Alus yells at him. repeat next week.

What do they do on a Friday night? this but like, outside, alone, in the middle of thanalan somewhere

What is the soft drink of choice? If soft drinks existed in Eorzea I can’t help but feel like Alus is one of those freaks who don’t like any of them.

What is their alcoholic drink of choice? NO

Miscellaneous

What is their character archetype? This question originally linked to some basic archetypes, but I already have TVtropes collected and they’re far more interesting as an answer imo SO: [All-Loving Hero], [Reluctant Warrior], [Cloudcuckoolander], [Warrior Poet], [Stepford Smiler], [Motor Mouth], [Large Ham], [Stupid Good], [In Touch With His Feminine Side], [The Fashionista], [Light Is Good], [Flower Motifs], [Declaration of Protection].

Who is their hero? I don’t think Alus has a specific person in mind that isn’t fictional - fact is, nobody is as perfect as the type of person he strives to be. I think he finds traits of admirable heroism everywhere in people, though. Everything from his friends who fight for the good of the world no matter what, from the villain who unexpectedly saves someone while nobody else is watching, to the single mother who works hard to raise her children, to the homeless people who just continue to fight on to live even when everything feels so hopeless around them. I think he sees traits in others he wishes he had all the time. He wants to embody all the good traits of everyone. And I should mention, if one is to have a ‘hero’, it is expected that person to be better than one, yes? I don’t think Alus believes he’s particularly better than anyone else, especially in their positive traits.

What or who would your character dress up as for Halloween? Alus goes HARD on All Saint’s Wake. He and Arc’s signature best costume always ends up being these hyper-realistic ghost costumes that they trick out with special glamours, magic, and tech to surprise the passerby. If it doesn’t genuinely scare someone, it isn’t enough!

Are they comfortable with technology? I think he’s absolutely got the boomer brain when it comes to allagan technology. He can get by fixing old mechanical clocks and the like but when it comes to allagan stuff, he’s just absolutely out of his element. He’ll certainly listen if someone wants to try explaining it to him, but it’ll take considerable time before he fully “gets it” and usually when he does, it’s more on blind faith and an ability to follow basic directions more than true understanding. I think in general it just doesn’t really interest him and if he’s going to spend the time and energy to learn about it, he’d rather use that energy on his other interests - books, physical training, baking and the like. (Modern AU: He’s absolutely the guy still using an ancient flip phone because “It still works!” Also, he capitalizes and uses perfect grammar in all his extremely-hard-to-type number code texts.)

If they could save one person, who would it be? It’s a difficult question, because of course - the first person to come to mind is Arc. But the thing is, Arc can take care of himself. And Alus knows this. Alus trusts this. So when it comes down to choosing between Arc and someone less capable.. Alus will most likely help the less capable person. If Arc is hurt, Alus knows he’ll forgive him. But if Arc were to die? And it be Alus’ fault? It would utterly crush him.

If they could call one person for help, who would it be? Arc, of course. There’s nobody Alus would rather have by his side while dealing with problems.

What is their favourite proverb? “Since it is likely that children will meet cruel enemies, let them at least have heard of brave knights and courage.” – C.S. Lewis (Personally my fav proverb in thinkin about Alus is “Because the world is so full of death and horror, I try again and again to console my heart and pick the flowers that grow in the midst of hell.” – Hermann Hesse)

What is their greatest extravagance? This is kind of a depressing and even controversial answer, but it’s honestly any time he has ducked out from military duty with or without permission when all of it has just gotten to him too much. He knows that him not being there will be more of a problem than a solution - he knows that - but any moment he can just pretend, for a moment, that he’s just a normal man running a normal little girlish cafe during a time without war.. That’s his greatest extravagance.  

What is their greatest regret? The amount of enemies he has been forced to down when talk wasn’t enough is piling higher and higher every moon cycle. It’s an absolute horror. He tries so hard to be nonlethal as possible. He’s studied so much how to avoid vital organs, how to down someone without hurting them badly, but no matter what there is always the chance of there being a prior injury he didn’t know about, or a undiagnosed medical problem that was just activated by the smallest knock.. That isn’t even to mention the people who have been hurt because the people he talked down didn’t keep their word or stood back up when he thought they’d stay asleep. No matter what, he just isn’t enough to save everyone. Why is it that no matter how hard he works to have this ideal of pacifism, it never works completely? Why is it never enough?

What is their perception of redemption? That the unwavering truth of this world is that people are fundamentally capable of change. He refuses to believe otherwise, no matter what. Perhaps it is an active choice instead of an instinctual one, nobody is certain for Alus’ mindful case. He believes the expectation for lifelong punishment for a past crime is petty and cruel, and in itself deters people from switching sides for the better. He believes anyone and everyone deserves the right to have the choice to right their wrongs at any time. Don’t misunderstand though - He understands sometimes people are far too gone for simply dropping everything they’ve done and that’s enough to erase their mistakes - he knows that some people can only find rightful redemption in the afterlife after execution, even if execution is not an ideal solution to stopping them in his eyes. But he prays for them. He’ll never give up on anyone.

What would they do if they won the lottery? Back into investments or savings to get an even bigger profit later. Alus knows how to play the smart long game. But uh... If the fates play a trick and he sees a beautiful fashion piece in a shop window, maybe that won’t last too long. He’s also notoriously overly generous with money to the needy, he spends money on service tips like pouring water out of a glass. Money is always moving, and if he starts to run low, he just works a little harder to get back to the comfort zone. He’s in a pretty good place in his life monetarily wise atm already.

What is their favourite fairytale? It’s difficult to answer this because I don’t know what sorts of stories exist in Eorzean canon! But I can say that the real-world 1986 manga “The Sword of Paros” is a huge inspiration to Alus’ character. It’s about a person born with the title of ‘Princess’ who believes to have been born the wrong gender, and does everything in their power to prove themselves worthy of the title of ‘Prince’ despite immeasurable odds against them from their family and their country. The hero also falls in love with a commoner woman who wishes nothing more to be loved by the idyllic image of a charming knight in shining armor that comes and rescues her, and their love is ultimately tragic as it’s also not recognized as valid.. but the prince never stops fighting for his title and the right of his love, and the ability for them both to be happy. Though the story ends without the ideal conclusion, the very concept of these characters fighting against all odds for something genuinely better for the whole world is something Alus is really all about. (Also, seriously, read this manga. It’s groundbreaking. It’s Utena done right.)

What fairytale do they hate? Any faerietales that have unhappy endings, or seem to focus strongly on tragedy or pessimistic ideas of realism in the world. That tends to fall into the category of ‘cautionary tales’ most the time. He’s also really not a fan of stories with body horror or gore.

Do they believe in happy endings? I think he believes that happy endings should always be the goal, but I don’t think he truly accepts that they actually exist. He understands that happiness and safety is always temporary, and this is why he should always strive to make the world a better place. If he helps someone get to a point that they’re happy, healthy, and safe - he’ll just move on to the next person who needs his help. A happy ending for himself though? I think he’s not confident in it, but he wants to live every day to the fullest as he can before he dies. He accepts this as part of his duty - he knows he’s living on ultimately borrowed time.

What is their idea of perfect happiness? Being in love, being surrounded by people you love, having the support of others you trust and having the ability to spoil the people you care about. Having a home you’ll never be kicked out of.. And no war that you have to leave to. No people you have to harm. Just the peace to drink tea with your former enemies as you gaze out onto flowers on a warm day... That’s all he ever wants.

What would they ask a fortune teller? I think he’s concerned if he’ll ever someone to truly share his life with besides his brother. He just really wants a good friend.. Ideally, someone attractive he can hold the hand of!

If your character could travel through time, where would they go? Before the Calamity. He’d just want to listen to his father tell him a few more stories again. He misses the peacefulness of his childhood, the certainty that someone out there stronger than him loved him and wanted to keep him safe, the ability to ignore his own call to war... He wouldn’t so selfish to want to try and bend fate enough to save his father, though he would if he had the chance.. But he knows it’s impossible.

What sport do they excel at? (Modern AU) He was definitely a cheerleader in highschool and/or college, I feel like. Probably into dancing! And ofc a dedicated martial artist. I feel like he’d be pretty good at football and wrestling too - games that require a bulky build to be great at - but he just doesn’t have a particular interest in either of those.

What sport do they suck at? (Modern AU) Probably stuff like archery and tennis -  not only would he’d thrive better in big team sports, he’s just not much for long-range dexterity. He’d also be absolutely incompetent as an esports competitor lmfao.

If they could have a superpower, what would they choose? Anything that was especially effective at saving peoples’ lives. Time travel to stop mistakes before they happen or say the right thing before a war breaks out, super effective healing powers... anything. Just to stop suffering and death.

[internetremix]

If you guys could be any non Legendary Pokemon, what would you be and why?

2This one ended up VERY LONG so discussion below the cut:

Kristen: Um. Oh no this is hard. My kneejerk reaction to these is always Mew because Mew is my favorite Pokemon. Smol kickass pink cat, excellent.Phill: Bidoof. Easy. Hands down objectively best PokemonKristen: I'm just imagining Bidoof with a Phill beard now. Amazing. BUT I CANNOT PICK A LEGENDARY POKEMON SO. Uh.  Um. I mean Charizard is super cool and then I could be a big badass dragon but like I CAN'T BE A BIG?? THAT WOULD BE HARD I'd probably be super clumsy and burn shit. ...So I also can't be Fletchling cause then I'm also gonna burn shit on accident. Dragonair is super neat but like THEY LONG I feel like I'd get tangled up. Espeon and Umbreon are cool?? Uh maybe an Espeon?? They seem too cool for me.  I'm bad at this, I haven't played Pokemon in like a million years and I get self conscious every time I pick something cool cause I'm like "no I'd fuck up being cool". Slyveon maybe?? My fiance just said I'd be a Plusle but I don't accept it.

...fuck it Espeon. Espeon is neat but also it cute fuck it live ur dreams to be kinda cool.Atwas: It's okay Kristen. Charizard is only 5'7". But I guess even that would be a massive jump in height. :^)Kristen: ListenAtwas: :^)Kristen: RudeUprising: idk what i would BE, i know my favorite pokemon but thats chepap. my brother said shiny alolan ninetails bc it is pink, white, and has flowy hair so that sounds accurate.Alex: My favorite pokemon is magikarp but i would probably be exploudKristen: And now I'm just imagining Magikarp with Alex's hair.Jojo: ugh. why do you have to ask me this. now I have to get out my list of literally every pokemon... Either Eevee, Dratini, or Chatot. OR RIOLU! riolu is a goodie. I have  a feeling Scott would be a Buneary but that's not my place to say.Kristen: Good choices JoojJojo: /);w;(\Split: Kristens a torchic that never evolves lmaoKristen: NO ...maybe.Jojo: I actually thought about it. I have the perfect pokemon for youKristen: ...alright, hit me.Alex: Ok.

Kristen: OW! Alex why? ;A;Alex: You said hit me.Split: PffffhahahaJojo:  #742, Cutiefly.

Kristen: ...I mean. It is smol and blonde, which I currently am.Split: Yep. It you. Congrats.Kristen: SIGH I mean. It’s very cute.Jojo: By the way I think that’s it’s actual size.Split: LMAOJojo: OH MY GOD IT’S LITERALLY KRISTEN

Kristen: NOSplit: I call being the trainer of this band of misfitsKristen: I’M SMOL BUT NOT THAT SMOL!Jojo: You are that smol.Split: Joj shes like an inch or two shorter than youJojo: NO?? SHE’S LIKEKristen: HA!Jojo: SHH! THAT’S NOT TRUEKristen: IT’S TOTALLY TRUEAlex: "The wild Kristen eats approximately ten times her body weight each day"Split: If only.Jojo: ohmygodkristenI found your other one

Kristen: NOSplit: Joj that ones youKristen: He's right it's smol and blueAlex: yeah that's youJojo:  NO IM A RIOLUSplit: Which one was thatAlex: babby lucarioJojo: That boy

Split: But are you sureJojo: YES THAT'S MEKristen: Why do you get to be the cool oneAlex: i still think dratini is best choice for jojKristen: I agree.Split: Are you baby martial artist or baby huggy bearJojo: I AM STRONG YOU FUCKAlex: huggy bear it isSplit: But do you fightJojo: YESSplit: BullshitJojo:  DUKE UP YOU CHEEKY POPPETSplit: AightKristen: I can't believe Jooj is a huggy bearJojo: NoOooOo IM DRATINISplit: Thats the snake one right? The long blue dragon snake.Alex: 

Jojo: yeSplit: Oh yuh thats also joj. I still think huggy bear but ill settle for dratini.Jojo: even looks like my fursona holy shitSplit: Secrets outJojo: MOTHERFUCKER YOU HUUGGY BEAR. it's not really a secret anymoreSplit: It never wasssssKristen: I can't believe Jojo gets to be a fucking dragon and I'm a tiny fly that eats 10 times its bodyweight. Oh it's bug/fairy. I guess that's interesting.Jojo: hehehefairyAlex: real talk i based it on the math that an average human eats 2.5 kg of cooked food per dayKristen: Huh, interestingSplit: We gave you so many options other than the .4 inch bug thing kristenKristen: ....I mean I can see Cutiefly, Fletching or Torchick tbhJojo: OH MY GOD LOOK AT THIS ABSOLUTE UNIT

HIS NAME. IS BUZZSWOLE.Kristen: lmao that looks like a Digimon. Is that real?Walrus: He is real. And he will punch your spirit.Kristen: SOUNDS FAKE BUT OKAlex: you question the might of our lord and savior buzzwoleJojo: no he'll punch everything and then literally use your spirit as a sweat rag! LOOK AT THIS FUCKIN JOJO ASS CHARACTER!Split: It took me a whole 2 seconds to realize you meant the anime and not yourself(edited)Alex: our joj does have bizarre adventures to be fairSplit: You right you rightJojo: :,)Split: I could just hear your soul crackJojo: I'm glad. anyway look at this other kristen pokemon.

Kristen: No, I am drawing the line, no. You can't keep googling "what's the most harmless looking dust mote of a pokemon" and then say IT'S KRISTENJojo: NOO THAT'S NOT TRUE I'll tell you what. if you were a legendary pokemon you'd be Jirachi. that mf is p o w e r f u lKristen: Aw gosh. Wait didn’t we say MG would be edgy jirachi?Alex: her original character a jirachi-darkrai fusionJojo: I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT DARKRAI or a very smol GiratinaKristen: I do not know enough about this pokemon to comment.Alex: Giratina is Pokemon Satan.Kristen: Ah. Okay. Of course. Of course Pokemon Satan is a thing.Alex: 

Kristen: ...Oh it’s MG.Split: I distinctly remember pokemon satan ending up being a good guyJojo: so was darkraiKristen: I can't believe you just spoiled DMP and now I gotta cancel it.Alex: Satan: He's An Alright Guy!Split: P sure darkrai killed kidsKristen: ...it's fine don't worry about itAlex: Movie Darkrai was alright I thought? There are a whole lot of child murderin' pokemon out there to be fair.Split: Oh movie darkrai was futily attempting to stop the collapse of the universeIf i remember rightJojo: he also became attached to a childSplit: Big shrug on that sub plot its been yearsAlex: we have one hundred percent abandoned the original question. welcome to internet remixKristen: Yeeeep. Getting back on topic, I think Split would be Absol or Houndoom.Jojo: OOOOHHH I didn’t even think of AbsolSplit: Nah im the trainer

Alex: but consider: girafarigSplit: What isAlex: mostly i chose it because "aesthetic"

Kristen: PFFFT HAHAHASplit: Nah. Meanwhile, Kristen callin out my favorite pokemon as a kid. Regardless ive already grabbed a hat, tell tale sign of any trainer. Ive started walking the path every 13 year old must walk in their livesKristen: Pretty sure trainers start at 10?Split: Nah i mean im leaving my region for new boundsKristen: So brave. Anyway I’m trying to think of others. I'm trying to think of others. My brain keeps telling me that Alex is Entei. Tol and floofy and can burn things. But that's a legendary.Jojo: oooo I think he had a good pick of  exploud. Buuut I also think he'd be an Ursaring. 

Dawn: For me I tried to think of literally any water pokemon for me but lets be real here

Alex: I mean.Dawn: b0rfJuno: If I could be any nonlegendary mon it would be Golurk1) Giant Robot2) Can fly with rocket boosters3) Causes earthquakesTex: Umm. Hm. Something that was a mix of fire, dragon, and psychic. Like I know u can't get three. But listen.Walrus: w-walrein exists. so i meanJuno: MY TIME HAS COME

Walrus: HAHHhhhhWHEN THE FUCKHUHWHATI FORGOT OR DIDN'T SEE THISHONAtwas:  YO that's so fucking cool! To answer the prompt, I'd probably be a Zoroark.Kristen: Good choices.Scott: Could BE a non-legendary?Jojo: Hold on wait. let me guess: bunearyScott: No, that's what I would want to HAVE. Hm. This is actually tough. Maybe Altaria? It's a flying Pokemon that sings beautiful melodies and has a relatively average speed.I don't know. I'd want to be a Pokemon that was kind and graceful with musical qualities, if at all possible. So yeah, I guess AltariaKristen: I can see that.Juno: Also you're fluffyShyner: Hooooly shit there's a lot of stuff hereI feel bad about adding to this massive wall of content but I'm just putting down for the record that I would definitely be basic bitch eevee. I'll change my form for you, just please love me :,)Kristen: ;A; I LOVE EEVEE JUST THE WAY EEVEE ISJuno: eevee... babey

[yxkanna-a]

THE ULTIMATE GET-TO-KNOW GUIDE.

REPOST, don’t reblog. 

favorite things:

season: fall. he loves when the leaves start to change colors color: his go to is black, but he’s also partial to deep reds and greens pie: lemon meringue fruit: strawberry ice cream flavor: mint chocolate chip breakfast food: french toast alcoholic drink: he tends to just shoot back straight liquor but when he’s feeling like something different he enjoys a long island iced tea soda flavor: pepsi scent: vanilla flowers: tiger lilies animal: cats movie: reservoir dogs tv show: the office book: he doesn’t read enough to have like a real favorite he’d read over and over again, but he enjoyed animal farm (george orwell) superhero: toss up between spider-man and captain america fairy tale: jack and the beanstalk genre of music: 80s rock genre of movies: action-adventure genre of books: he’ll never admit it but he does like some quality science fiction

pick one:

hot or cold juice or soda tv or movie movie or book late night talk shows or reality tv twitter or instagram trees or flowers philosophy or psychology ocean or lake water park or amusement park cats or dogs fresh water or sparkling water sugar or honey cookies or candy bath or shower morning or night running or walking piercings or tattoos frozen yogurt or ice cream vanilla or chocolate caramel or butterscotch art or music t-shirt or button down text or call ghosts or aliens

have they ever:

ridden a motorcycle: once during a test ride stolen something: he’d swipe some chocolate bars or something in high school when teddy wasn’t around to smack him eaten an entire pizza by themselves: more times than he’d like to admit made a prank call: just once; he’s not great at phone conversations in general so it’s not a thing he really had a lot of fun doing broken a bone: he broke his right hand when it got stomped on during a fight once; he’s also pretty sure he cracked a rib once from getting kicked really hard, but it was never confirmed fallen asleep during a concert or movie: not unless he’s at home warm and comfy cuddled against someone walked out of a movie because it was so bad: absolutely not. bad movies are the perfect opportunity to crack jokes with a friend in the back, or to himself if he’s alone been on the phone with someone for longer than 2 hours: nope dined & dashed: never held a gun: just once in high school; he’s not a big fan of them ding dong ditched: a few times during his wild teenage years gone skinny dipping: nope cried during a movie: never- he cries about it later when he’s alone so he doesn’t get teased smuggled food into a movie: is there another option? lied to get a job: nope practiced lines in from of a mirror: he did it a lot when he was younger; he doesn’t do it as often now tried to see how many marshmallows they can stuff in their mouth at once: his record is 10 jumbo puffs been kicked out of somewhere: no, but only because he’s evaded capture been on a blind date: nope ghosted someone: when someone doesn’t get the hint, yeah bragged about something they haven’t done: sometimes, when he’s annoyed at someone continuously asking questions about his life, he comes up with increasingly ridiculous stories to see how far he can take it before they start thinking that something isn’t right said i love you without meaning it: a few times, thinking that if he said it out loud it’d be true gotten in a fight: he was a small angry child so all the goddamn time. once he graduated high school he wasn’t being harassed as often so his temper mellowed out a bit and he hasn’t thrown a punch since he landed his job fallen asleep on a bus: once when he was really tired lmao. he probably got a mild concussion from it

miscellaneous:

how do they take their tea or coffee: straight. he’s not a coward what is their ideal date: dinner at home what are some of their guilty pleasures: dancing, especially in the context of in his bedroom or kitchen sliding around in his socks to madonna at 1am. he’s really good at it but also mildly self conscious longest they’ve stayed up for: 24 hours during a 24/48 shift. every time he was about to fall asleep he’d have to go out on another call. on a related note, his heart probably almost exploded that day from all the caffeine he consumed oops biggest purchase: nick bought a $400 computer when he went to college and tbh he’s still reeling greatest talent: aside from being stupid and sarcastic and good at his job, he really is a good dancer strange habits: he never knows he does it, but when he’s standing still for more than a minute his “idle animation” is swaying on his hips. he also has to check and make sure his door is locked at least twice before he can settle down anywhere first job: pizza delivery boy at 16 can they do a handstand: for like three seconds, sure can they cook: most of the time, yes hfkdsj he’s good at making japanese dishes and simple things but also if there’s baking involved there’s a 50% chance he’s gonna set off a fire alarm do they believe in the paranormal: he doesn’t have a strong opinion on the matter but he doesn’t disbelieve do they have allergies: he gets strong pollen allergies in the spring but otherwise he’s okay do they believe in love in first sight: sure but he doesn’t think it’s ever happened to him have any special talents: despite his dyslexia and aversion to reading nick’s taught himself to read upside down just in case he has to for some fucking reason. he has a strong music memory in regards to tempo and beat. he drives terribly but also good enough that he’s never gotten in a wreck before, if you consider that a talent? also he considers his blowjob ability to be a special talent but also he’s an idiot so idk

tagged by: talented man @xonismsx tagging: @howlnight / @highnoonbright, anyone else who wants to tbh

[sage-nebula]

Well, it looks like Vanity Fair has joined Buzzfeed in not knowing anything about The Office but wanting to talk shit on it anyway. Here’s the newest nonsense:

For example, some time after Schur stopped receiving full writing credit on episodes of ‘The Office'—he was busy launching ‘Parks and Recreation'—the show made the mistake of driving a wedge between Jim and Pam in its final season. That’s not to say real couples don’t go through tumult, but the character assassination of Jim Halpert in the pursuit of high-stakes drama caused a beloved show to end on a sour note. No such trauma ever touched Leslie and Ben’s marriage and it feels unlikely that anything like it would befall Amy and Jake.

The writer of this article could not be more wrong about Jim/Pam or the series finale of The Office if they were a six-year-old who had never watched anything but Care Bears, and because I’m feeling pretty irate about it, I’m going to respond. (Beneath a cut, though, because this is long and I’m not bothering to be polite about it.)

First of all, just to get this out of the way: Jim throwing himself wholeheartedly into Athleap, to the point where it caused marital strife between himself and Pam, was nowhere near “character assassination.” “Character assassination” is what occurs when a character is written out of character, often for the sake of strife or drama, and that is far and away not what happened here.

Don’t get me wrong, before anyone gets it twisted: I love Jim Halpert. He’s far and away one of my favorite characters on The Office. But the reason why I love him is because he’s a realistic, believably written character who has as many flaws as he has good qualities (and the same goes for Pam, and every other character on the show). Jim was never supposed to be an idealized perfect boyfriend like Ben Wyatt. You want to talk about how Ben and Leslie never have problems? It’s because Ben and Leslie were written to be ideals. Parks and Recreation was written to be an optimistic, idealistic show, removed from the confines of reality. The reason why Pawnee, IN is so completely ridiculous is because it was always meant to be somewhat absurdist. The antagonists are cartoonish, and the protagonists are all idealized. Ben Wyatt was written to be The Perfect Boyfriend™. Any flaws he has, such as being “geeky,” only serve to make him more endearing and lovable. He is an Ideal. Leslie is an Ideal. And as such, their relationship is Ideal and, therefore, would never have realistic problems that would actually affect real, living, breathing human beings.

Jim and Pam are not like that. Jim, from season one, has always had actual flaws that could cause problems in his relationships. In season two’s “Office Olympics” Pam herself has a talking head where she talks about how, when Jim gets really into something, he gets super into it and does a really great job. But the problem, Pam says, is that he works at Dunder-Mifflin, so that rarely ever happens. I bring this up because Jim throwing himself wholeheartedly into Athleap in season nine, to the point where he tunnel visions on that and blocks out everything else, was a consistent character trait brought up in season TWO. The reason why it didn’t cause strife between Jim and Pam before is because they were on the same page before---they wanted the same things before. But Pam---because she was ALSO written consistently!---dug her heels in and didn’t want to move, because even after her development she tends to be hesitant when it comes to huge changes, whether that means being terrified of giving birth to her first child, or not wanting to move to Philadelphia. This means that Jim and Pam, for once, were not on the same page about their future, which means that these flaws that both of them always had from the very beginning of the series put them at odds with one another, as happens with real human beings in relationships.

Oh, and by the by? Jim getting tunnel vision about the things he wants and throwing himself into them 100% was foreshadowed as early as season two, but in season four when he shows Pam Second Life (as a means to show her Dwight’s Second Life character), she discovers that Jim’s Second LIfe character is a sports writer from Philadelphia. She thinks it’s hilarious and chants, “Show me Philly Jim! I want Philly Jim!” This is harsher in hindsight when we get to season nine and realize that Philly Jim ends up pulling away from his family (TEMPORARILY) because he’s so focused on that that he can’t focus on what’s going on in Scranton. So, again, this plot was set up long in advance. There’s foreshadowing for it pretty early on, if you’re paying attention.

So, right off the bat: It wasn’t character assassination. Jim was always a well-rounded character. So was Pam. Neither of them are perfect human beings, because while Parks and Recreation is an idealistic show with idealized characters, The Office is a realistic show with realistic characters. The two shows foil each other in every way possible (private vs. public sector, idealism vs. realism), and so it’s blatantly obvious why Ben and Leslie have a Perfect Marriage™ while Jim and Pam have a more realistic one.

But that aside? “The show ends on a sour note” --- are you kidding?

First of all, again, Jim and Pam’s problems were temporary. The two go to marriage counseling, and although Pam still feels conflicted, Jim tells her that---well, here, you can see the scene for yourself. They reconcile. And Jim, realizing that he almost lost Pam, decides to leave Athleap (at least for the time being) to spend more time in Scranton with Pam and the kids. He ends up staying there. And when Pam still has doubts, thinking that she won’t be enough for him, Jim is so flabbergasted that he has the documentary crew create a music montage of all their moments together, so that he can ultimately tell her:

“Not enough for me? You are . . . everything.”

Ultimately, in the finale, their issues are addressed. During a panel they hosted where people who watched the documentary (in-universe, of course), someone asked Pam what she was doing to “pay Jim back” for leaving Athleap. Jim cuts her off and says that “she pays me back every day, just by being my wife.” Pam is touched, but says she’s working on something. (And she also says, I think a bit before that, in response to a question of how she could have doubted Jim’s love for her, that she was scared of messing up what she felt was a perfect life. She says, “Everyone came up on the street and told me I had a fairy tale romance. But there were many times last year when it did not feel like a fairy tale. But it’s okay, because now it’s better than a fairy tale. It’s like---it’s like reading an amazing book that you never want to end.”) During Dwight’s wedding reception, Pam kisses Jim, and Jim smiles and says, “See? Now you don’t owe me anything” --- jokingly, of course. And then, when they return home, it’s to reveal Pam has sold their house so they can move to Texas and Jim can pick up with Athleap right where he left off.

You see where I’m going with this?

They tell Dwight they’re leaving, and he gives them twelve months of severence. Pam sits on Jim’s lap while Creed plays a song for them, her head on Jim’s shoulder. She says in one of her final quotes, “Jim sat five feet from my desk and it took me four years to get to him” and “don’t get me wrong, I’m not some tragic person. I’m really happy now.” Jim, likewise, says tha the owes everything he has to this job, that he’s so happy that the documentary gave him a chance to watch himself fall in love, become a husband, become a father. It is made painstakingly obvious that Jim and Pam are as deeply in love and happy in the series end as they ever were. They had a time of strife, because they both have flaws that clashed for a time, but they’re so happy and in love and hopeful for their future. And as if there was any lingering doubt, NBC had (at least for a time, idk if it’s still up) a “Where Are They Now?” photo slideshow up on their website, which revealed that they’re both incredibly happy in Austin (Jim is with Athleap, and Pam is a prominent member of the art scene). They’re happy and in love and absolutely nothing about that is sour, honest to god, I don’t know what show the writer of this article was watching.

So yeah, this is ridiculous, and to be honest I’m getting really, really tired of Parks & Rec stans bashing The Office. Whether it’s trying to tear down Jim/Pam to make Ben/Leslie look better, or tearing down the show in general in an attempt to make Parks & Rec look better, it’s really beyond old. I really enjoyed Parks and Recreation when I watched it, but all of this has honestly made me feel like I dislike it (when I don’t!) because I’m sick of seeing something else I really love constantly torn down and unjustly criticized in the pursuit of making Parks and Rec look better than it was. Prefer Parks and Rec and Ben/Leslie all you want, but don’t spread lies about The Office and Jim/Pam while you’re at it. The Office has arguably the best series finale in television history for how well it tied everything together and how it left every single character on a happy note (even Creed seemed fine going to jail, tbh), and to see that called “sour” because someone didn’t bother to actually watch the conclusion is honestly pretty upsetting.

[theotherwesley]

Wesley Watches And Rates All The Faust Operas

You thought I was kidding, but here we are: 

*I am not an expert, and my advice should never be followed.  I am but a humble nerd with a passion, dragging you along on my youtube-tour. You probably shouldn’t quote me, but using this as a starting point and guide to this particular musical and literary phenomenon is encouraged! The information below was gleaned largely from wikipedia, vague memories of my BA degree, and my own assessment of the source materials.

My ratings are based on my subjective enjoyment, and a few preferential criterion such as:  1) Was Mephistopheles fuckable, 2) Did I get to see an orgy of witches, 3)Does Marguerite pass the Sexy Lampshade Test, and 4) Was Faust Dragged to Hell.

Preliminary Notes: originally, the legend of Doctor Faust came from the sixteenth century and was inspired by one man (or possibly two who were later conflated), Johann SpidersGeorg Faust, who was your average practitioner of Renaissance Magic. He was not an especially savory individual; he had racked up quite a criminal record and been boastful enough of his “christlike” abilities to heal the sick and perform miracles that he’d seriously annoyed the church. He was denied entry into a city due to accusations of Necromancy and Sodomy. Being an alchemist, Faust got up to some particularly adventurous chemistry experiments, the last of which failed so spectacularly that his lab exploded and the doctor was reduced to his component parts. His remains after death were so gruesome that his colleagues came to the obvious conclusion: He’d been personally dragged to Hell by Satan himself. AND THUS WAS A LEGEND BORN.

The story of Faust was told and disseminated in sixteenth century chapbooks (early printing-press zines, if you will) as a dramatic morality tale. It is from the chapbooks we originally get the character of Mephistopheles, the pact exchanging 24 years of service for the soul, the famulus named Wagner, the wild adventures through various courts, and the conjuration of Helen of Troy. Aside from in the chapbooks, there is one version of Chrisopher Marlowe’s play Doctor Faustus, where the titular character is torn asunder by demons as he is dragged to hell-- but unfortunately for me, a known B-movie horror enthusiast-- this ending appears in no subsequent retellings of the Faust legend. Cowards.

Goethe’s play Faust is obviously the most famous adaptation of the legend, and through it the legend turns from a cautionary tale to a story of hubris, love, faith, and philosophy. If you’re not already familiar with Faust, you might take a moment to read it or at least check out the act summaries. You’ll understand everything that references it a lot better if you do, even if you just read Part I (the second part gets a bit tedious unless you have a fetish for Herodotus and metaphysics-- but there’s a cute homunculus in a bottle! and talking sphinxes and griffons! and kinky rose petals! Angel butts!!!). 

 Armed with this knowledge, let the opera tour begin:

Faust (1816, Louis Spohr)

--The Libretto with English translation 

--Playlist of the whole opera

It’s very pretty! The style and over-all sound reminds me of a Mozart opera, which, I guess, is not too surprising considering they were more or less contemporaries who trained and worked in similar circles. (Louis Spohr! He did collaborations with Beethoven! He invented the violin chinrest! Who knew! Not me! Anyway--) This Faust is not based on either Marlowe or Goethe’s Faust, but rather some miscellaneous adventures from the early Faust legends and chapbook pamphlets. In this version Faust ensnares a devil named Mephistopheles to his service, vowing to use his powers for the good of mankind. Great plan! That always goes well! 

There’s a love potion, a flying cape, a duel with an outraged rival-- all the usual necessities for a Faust story, only now there’s not one but TWO young women screwed over by Faust’s philandering! (His first love, Röschen, and erstwhile damsel-in-distress, Kunilingus. ....*checks notes*, sorry, no, “Kunigunde”). Mephistopheles is cattily insightful, the wronged women team up to avenge themselves against their seducer, and yes, yes indeed, Faust Is Dragged To Hell!  

The poetry of the libretto is quite pleasing, it’s got some great dialogue and epic fantasy sequences. Mephistopheles puts on show of infernal pyrotechnics with 17th century stage effects, all of them tremendous fire hazards. Someone gets dragged to Hell by a chorus of dancing goblins before Act 1 even finishes-- O my cup runneth over! We get the witches’ sabbath atop Mt Blocksberg, there’s a guest appearance by Sycorax, everyone gets real horny up there with a love potion, it’s great. 

Mephistopheles seems to be on the ladies’ side in the story (as much as he’s on any human’s side), in that he cautions them not to trust Faust, and urges them on when they FREAKING TEAM UP AND GO TO SEEK VENGEANCE. Oh my god it’s so great. Kunigunde attacks Faust and Faust freaks out and tells Mephistopheles to save him and Meph is all “what’s that? I don’t know, suddenly I can’t read”. Meph is also the one doing all the actual rescuing of distressed maidens, at Faust’s behest. He views Faust’s attempts to break the laws of Love and Nature with contempt, knowing that Faust’s soul is on the fast track to Hell. There’s no actual pact here; Meph is the one being held hostage. He makes sure that Faust doesn’t enjoy any of the spoils of his sorcery, so Faust’s ennui and dissatisfaction remain the same as before he began his quest to “Use Hell’s Powers For Good”. 

And just quick review of the scoreboard: Faust used his powers to do 1 (one) useful thing with his power before he ruined a bunch of people’s lives in quick succession, murdering Kunigunde’s betrothed and driving Rose to suicide. He still cries about it and the “rich seeds of Good he sowed” but Meph is having none of it and HE. DRAGS. THAT. BOY. TO. HELL!!!!!!! EXEUNT.

Rating: 4/5 Stars. Better than expected! I want a revival of this version! With stabbing! And special effects! Mephistopheles is truly doing the Lord’s work here, no offense to his demonship. Lost some points with me for being so very, very heavy on the pining and lovesick maidens, but won me back when the lovesick maidens picked up daggers. 

Faust and Marguerite (1855, Lutz) and Faust up to Date (1888, Lutz)

Straight up can’t find this one! But this early silent film short is apparently based on it?  IDK folks, if you have a recording of this you’d like to share with me, I’d be delighted to hear it. 

As for the burlesque, I suspect it hasn’t actually been performed since 1888. But the music is pretty cute! The Pas de Quatre, aka “Skirt Dance” seems to be the only track that’s stuck around. Here it is played on an old disc music box. 

Rating: ??? 

La damnation de Faust (1846, Berlioz) 

--Libretto in French and English

--La Damnation de Faust with Jonas Kaufmann --I like this one because Faust is super duper cute and this Mephistopheles reminds me of an OC makes yellow work. 

--This is the first of what I’m called The Big Three Faust Plays; all modeled after Goethe’s Faust specifically, written within roughly ten years of each other, and which feature the most well-known arias that I’m aware of. 

This opera positively reeks of Romanticism; it’s got Byron out the ears, it’s wading through Wordsworth, it’s doing the Grand Tour, it’s gazing mournfully from the top of Mont Blanc, contemplating Nature and the Human Spirit. It’s Berlioz, buckle up. 

The beginning is obviously Faust wallowing in ennui. He considers suicide, but is interrupted by a timely reminder of Christianity. Suddenly the devil appears in order to take advantage of a soul precariously teetering on the edge between redemption and damnation.  In this version, the devil does not announce himself as the devil, but rather as the ~Spirit of Life~, here to show Faust the joys of the world. (There’s no pact at first, Meph is just “get in bitch we’re going debauching” and Faust’s like “aight” and they’re off.) The devil takes Faust on a fun tour of life’s noteworthy attractions such as “Drunk Student Karaoke”, “Dancing Gnomes”, and “A Nice Forest Nap”.

During his magical nap Faust sees a vision of Marguerite (later we learn she has simultaneously dreamed of Faust) and falls in love. He awakes with the usual boner for this Maiden of Radiant and Humble Virtue who Nature Hath Sheltered In Perfect Simplicity, because that’s always a big turn-on. Meph steers the course of their interactions very carefully, using magic and fairies and wisps to enchant the couple’s surroundings to ensure they are surrounded by romantic atmosphere the whole time. Once they’ve gotten into some heavy necking, he bursts in and tells them that the whole town is coming with pitchforks and also someone’s told the girl’s mother and they’re in big trouble. Faust flees. 

Everyone does some quality Pining, Faust sings a sad song about Nature, and then Meph shows up again saying “hey I hope this doesn’t put a damper on our vacation, but Marguerite is in prison for murder and she’s going to be executed BUT QUICK, ACT NOW AND WE CAN SAVE HER for just one quick easy payment of your immortal soul” and Faust is just like “WHAT WHERE WHO WHAT UH FINE YES SURE OKAY SHIT, WOW, LET’S GO” and Meph is >:))) and they jump on their horses and ride off to go save her except OOPS, NO THEY DON’T because actually they are RIDING INTO THE WAITING JAWS OF HELL!!!! NYAK NYAK NYAK NYEEEEEHHHHH!!! Faust burns for eternity, Marguerite goes to heaven, curtain. 

Rating: 3.5/5 Look, I’m not saying I’m biased, but Mephistopheles doesn’t even show up until half an hour into the opera, okay? I find this one hard to sit through even though the music is really delightful; and I do mean it is gorgeous music. Between the two famous mocking serenades, “Devant la maison” shoots “Vous quid faites l’endormie” right out of the water; all the chorus pieces are fantastic; the Hungarian March is a great instrumental piece; Faust actually has some decent arias for once (rarer in each subsequent opera), and there is Brander’s wonderfully irreverent Rat Song... I think the reason this doesn’t hold my attention as much as other versions is that the plot is very meandering and the characters don’t have concrete motivations; they’re sad teenagers in love, I guess? And the devil tricks them? This whimsical aspect is 1000% part and parcel of the Romantic Aesthetic I realize, but personally I came for a recognizable story and got mostly pastoral vignettes. We spend half the opera listening to Frolicking Peasants and Men At Arms. Mephistopheles just hops out of the woodwork to play a dirty trick on a random guy getting his Byronic Mope on. There’s no pact, no soul-signing until the very end, and it’s just a plain ol’ tricky trap, not a device to punish hubris or moral crimes. I’m even reluctant to give this its rightful Dragged To Hell points because out of all the Faust scenarios, this is the one where he seems to deserve it the least! He doesn’t actually do anything bad! It’s not satisfying if he’s dragged to Hell for no reason! Pfui. However, points gained back for the made-up Satanic babble sung by infernal chorus at the end.  

Faust (1859, Gounod) 

--Libretto in French and English

--1995 Adaptation with Samuel Ramey as Mephistopheles  You already know I’m a slut for Samuel Ramey playing the devil in any capacity so I’ll spare you my gushing play-by-play of his performance. The quality of this video is.... not great. I apologize. I still love it, but you’re going to want to find a clearer recording of the music if you want to get the most out of this opera. 

--2011 Adaptation with Paul Gay as Mephistopheles (Warning: this version is quite lurid and includes some staging choices that I find pretty uncomfortable-- I can’t decide if the director is consciously trying to highlight predatory sexism as a bad thing or if it’s just kind of included to make things seem ~spicy~. Anyway, it’s otherwise a high quality production with an interesting set design, just be warned that there’s some on-stage grossness. Also, a hilariously bad decapitated head prop! --to accompany a truly baffling ending. To its credit, the death of Valentin was genuinely pretty moving and made me feel... er, well, anything about the character. Tassis Christoyannis’s made that aria memorable, which is more than I can say of other productions. 

Second of the Big Three! 

Gounod introduces a more complete cast of characters borrowed from Goethe’s Faust to flesh out the the story and setting; we meet Wagner the student, a regiment of soldiers including Marguerite’s brother, Valentin, and their young friend Siebel (a pants role-- which immediately endears me to this character because I’m a ~big ol’ queer~). Later we meet Marguerite’s nosy old neighbor, Martha, who is REAL thirsty for Mephistopheles and who I relate to very much.

 This opera follows Goethe’s Faust- Part I much more closely than its predecessor, and where it does not follow the original, it diverges in favor of making the story more engaging and streamlined. There is WAY LESS pining into the aether, and more sword fights. The larger cast of named characters makes for more interactions, which in turn makes for more memorable moments on stage, better dialogue, a comprehensible timeline of events, and more concrete motivations for everyone. 

A SUMMARY: Faust’s pact in this version has nothing to do with the philosophical wager seen in Goethe, but is simply an exchange of his soul for returned youth. He is old, he’s spent his life studying, he wants to be young and full of passion again. He seals the deal after the devil offers him a vision of Marguerite, whose sight is so inspiring and lovely that Faust is overcome with desire for her alone. They go to find her, encountering on the way a regiment of students and soldiers, one of whom is Marguerite’s brother, Valentin, who is going off to war leaving his sister in the care of young Siebel. Getting Marguerite to stop and talk to Faust proves difficult since she is so pure and virtuous that A) Mephistopheles has no power over her, and B) she’s wary of the compliments of strangers. Faust gets Mephistopheles to bring her a case of jewels to warm her up to him, then Mephistopheles concocts a ruse to distract her nosy neighbor Martha and give them an excuse to meet Marguerite (shenanigans ensue). The ploy works, Marguerite is seduced, and in love with Faust. Cut to some time in the future, when Oh No Everything Has Gone Horribly Wrong; Faust has gone away and left Marguerite pregnant and unmarried, she is shunned by society with the exception of Siebel, meanwhile her brother has come home from the war to find her in a disgrace. Faust and Mephistopheles eventually return, but encounter an enraged Valentin who duels Faust to avenge his sister’s honor. Faust, of course, uses Mephistopheles’s magic to cheat, and Valentin is fatally stabbed. With his dying breaths, he curses his sister and blames her for his death, since he died defending her honor-- the people who witness this are rightfully aghast that he’d use his last moments to denounce his own sister-- and rightly so, because that’s a real dick move. Faust flees, and Marguerite is left on her own with no support and a newborn child to care for. She seeks refuge and forgiveness in the church, but finds she cannot pray, haunted by voices and cursed by Mephistopheles himself, as he whispers in her ear, promising damnation. She faints, and is presumably driven mad. Cut to Faust, who is being treated to a front-row seat of Walpurgisnacht. During the revels he sees another vision of Marguerite, this time of her in chains and awaiting execution for the murder of her child. Mephistopheles grudgingly takes Faust to see her in prison, where he tries to rescue her. In her fevered state she will not leave, wanting Faust to instead stay with her in the cell. During the delay, she sees Mephistopheles and finally puts two and two together, knowing a devil when she sees one, and understanding that Faust is not only responsible for her suffering but also in league with infernal powers. She pushes him aside, rejects him, and throws herself instead on the mercy of God, choosing death and redemption over being rescued by the man whose affections ruined her. Mephistopheles ruefully pronounces her condemned, but a voice from Heaven pronounces her Saved. Faust watches in awe as Marguerite’s soul ascends to Heaven, and he is left alone and presumably damned. 

Why is this framing of the story significant? Because it’s about her. Faust is only an instrument; his soul is not especially remarkable, he might have been damned without any devil to encourage him.

 But Marguerite’s soul was untouchable to Mephistopheles; he puts a vision of her before Faust for a reason. We don’t waste any time bemoaning Faust’s moral downfall; Faust is not the one seeking redemption at the end of the opera. Faust is a means to an end, and that end is leading an otherwise spotless soul into perdition.

 This opera has Mephistopheles at his most sinister, his most manipulative; he is the one driving Marguerite deeper into misfortune, who isolates her, mocks her, whispers condemnation into her ear her until she doubts everything. Desperate, without support and seeing no way forward, no future for herself or her child, Marguerite kills her baby, or is led to do so by Mephistopheles. Without a doubt, this has been the devil’s plan all along, and with Marguerite now branded a murderess, he thinks he’s won. But Faust, despite taking no responsibility for his actions, nevertheless feels pity and remorse at her misfortune, and goes to rescue her--and  this gives Marguerite the chance to finally see what he is.

 She rejects him; she does not choose love, she does not choose to live or be rescued by the forces that ruined her in the first place. She stays, renews her faith, and thwarts Mephistopheles’s best efforts to damn her. This is not about a man's hubris; it is about Marguerite escaping the devil and saving herself on her own terms. That’s why I find this version to be poignant. 

Some musical highlights: “Le veau d’or” (the golden calf)-- if not my favorite of Mephistopheles’s ballads then in the top three, particularly because it lends itself to some flamboyant acting; Marguerite’s “Ballade un roi de Thulé” (the king of Thule) is absolutely haunting; and "Seigneur, daignez permettre", aka The Church Scene is fucking incredible-- the juxtaposition of Marguerite’s pleas and the choir’s Dies Irae, the echoing church organs in the background, Damnation seeming to gain a voice of its own to summon her... it’s some real Eyes-of-Notre-Dame Hellfire shit. 

Rating: 5/5! A perfect score! Gounod wins the first place ribbon. Though he beats Boito’s “Mefistofele” (up next) on several key points, I want you to know that my personal bias will probably always be in favor of “Mefistofele” on account of being a ho for the titular character. --But Gounod’s is the better opera, fair and square. “Faust” has the most comprehensive storyline, the most memorable arias, and the best (I think) balance of both humor and poignance.  I will give this version the benefit of a Dragged to Hell point even though we don’t actually get to see the final deed. The Walpurgisnacht scene does exist as a ballet, so I’ll still give it the points even though it gets cut out of most productions for length (sometimes the ballet is performed as a stand-alone event). Additionally, he scores most favorably on the Marguerite > Sexy Lampshade scale-- this is a story about her more than it’s about Faust or Mephistopheles, and I’m here for that.

Thank you Mr. Gounod, you may retrieve your Incredibly Prestigious Award from my blog after the ceremony. 

Mefistofele (1868, Boito) 

--Libretto in Italian and English

--HERE IT IS, MY FAVORITE ONE, MY FAVORITE MEPHISTOPHELES, SAMUEL RAMEY, MOSTLY SHIRTLESS, FLIPPING OFF GOD AND LIGHTING A CIGARETTE ON STAGE IN HIS MATCHING CHERRY-RED TAILCOAT AND VIOLIN CASE 1989 (WHICH IS THE YEAR OF MY BIRTH, NO COINCIDENCE, I THINK)

--Oh, fun fact! The opera scene in Batman Begins is the chorus from the witches sabbath. If you thought it sounded familiar, this might be why.

Anyway. This is the third of the Big Three most-referenced Faust operas!  

Unlike its predecessors, Mefistofele covers both part I and part II of Goethe’s Faust, starting with the seduction of Marguerite and moving on to serenading Helen of Troy and finally with Faust’s redemption. The first part of the opera is very similar to Gonoud’s Faust, but first there is a Prologue, which is taken pretty much directly from Goethe.  And oh my god, is the Prologue hilarious. We encounter Mephistopheles, the titular character, on his way to work-- or more just loitering around in the aether as one does when one is bored and immortal and humanity is going on sinning with or without you, when he stops to greet the Lord God in passing, all satirical charm and sarcasm. God, very graciously, does not ask him whether he has anything better to do, but instead inquires if he knows Faust.

 “Oh yeah, that guy. Neck beard, likes science, big fan of yours. Sure I’ve heard of him,” says Meph. “Hey, you seem like a betting man--”

“Um,” says God.

Meph continues; “I bet I can tempt him into sinning and thus damn his immortal soul to Hell!” 

God agrees-- because God already knows the future and thinks this will be a fun way to build character. 

A choir of angels descends and Mephistopheles gets grossed out, sprays them with insect repellent, and leaves. (I am paraphrasing). 

The next few scenes are pretty familiar; Faust laments his ennui, a chorus of peasants and students celebrate a festival, Faust is on the cusp of a revelation that Jesus is neat, but is interrupted by the devil. The devil introduces himself, offers Faust his services on earth if Faust agrees to serve him in Hell after death. 

Faust, who seconds ago was ready to devote himself to a life of holiness, sayeth “yolo” and they shake on it, with the condition that Mephistopheles can reveal to him one moment of such surpassing joy and beauty that Faust will wish for it to last forever-- thereupon Faust consents to being dragged immediately to Hell. Because pssh, that’s later and who cares about later?? They hop on Mephistopheles’s magic cape, and fly off to have adventures.  CUT TO: Faust seducing Marguerite and Mephistopheles distracting her nosy neighbor Martha. THEY KISS, FAUST LEAVES, HE GOES TO A PARTY ON MT. BROCKEN. HE SEES A VISION: MARGUERITE IN PRISON! QUICK, TO THE RESCUE! BUT NO, SHE REJECTS HIM, HER SOUL IS SAVED, SHE DIES-- Wait, what? I hear you ask-- She just got here, she wasn’t even introduced, now we’re skipping to the end? The answer is: yes. Yes, you’re just supposed to know what’s going on already. 

To be fair, Faust operas are the Spiderman remakes of the nineteenth century; there’s a new one coming out every ten years or so, Goethe is required reading, everyone is writing Faust fanfiction-- no one is wondering who the girl is or how they met or is wondering if they’ll kiss or not. Everyone knows the plot already, it’s fine.

BUT THIS ISN’T THE END! No indeed! Now we are on a tour of PART II of Goethe’s Faust! You know, the part you skipped! Don’t worry, Boito isn’t making the entire metaphysical play into an opera, just the juicy bits with Helen of Troy. Marguerite is instantly and completely forgotten-- this is now a Helen/Faust one-shot, which Mephistopheles is forced to watch with annoyance. 

CUT TO: Faust’s old laboratory from Act 1, where he is on the brink of death, lost in a reverie of all the good times he’s had. Mephistopheles is hovering over him, tapping his wristwatch and reminding Faust of his past loves and glories, incredulous that Faust hasn’t yet found his One True Moment™.

 Faust just sighs and says “gee, I guess the REAL happiness was the good I could have done along the way but absolutely didn’t!” and God busts in through the ceiling with a HALLELUJAH and Mephistopheles is like “oh don’t you dare, don’t you fucking-- THINK OF ALL THE GOOD TIMES WE HAD, ALL THE SEXY LADIES I GOT YOU TO MEET! AFTER ALL I’VE DONE FOR YOU AS YOUR WINGMAN--” and Faust faceplants into the bible and goes straight to Heaven. Meph is left spitting in defiance as he sinks into the earth. THE END.

Why this framing is significant: The way Boito has arranged and cropped the scenes makes this story very much center around Mephistopheles. While Berlioz’s Faust was about the suffering of a young man for love, and Gounod’s was about the victory of Marguerite over Hell, Boito’s opera is about the humorous tragedy of Mephistopheles, whose endeavor was rigged to fail from the onset. 

Faust doesn't end up in Hell in Goethe's version, and I accept this because Mephistopheles lost his bet on a technicality: the Moment™ Faust wished to prolong was not provided by Mephistopheles, it was caused by his sincere desire to do a last bit of good in the world, coming to the conclusion (after being made blind by the goddess of Care) that benefiting mankind is what brings one happiness, not knowledge or fleeting pleasures. It wasn’t that he suddenly found Christ or gave himself over to God, as the opera implies, but because he finally realized the worth of striving to do good, and fond a source of platonic love within himself, which makes his soul redeemable despite his pact with the devil. So Goethe gives us a humanist, philosophical explanation for Faust's redemption..... BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY-- he has Mephistopheles lose Faust's immortal soul because he's Too Fucking Horny For An Angel Boy’s Ass. (I know when I’m being pandered to.) 

Unfortunately, Boito misses the whole philosophical trajectory of Goethe’s Faust and reduces it to a simple morality-play where a sinner is saved on his deathbed merely by acknowledging the hereafter. He doesn’t suffer blindness, he doesn’t actually DO anything good in his last hour, he just repents and decides Heaven is real after all at the last possible second before kicking the bucket. It would be disappointing, IF that were the point of the story. But that’s not where the drama is!

Like Gounod’s Faust, the focus was never really on the doctor at all; his redemption is not what we paid to see. It’s Mephistopheles’s reaction to losing Faust’s soul that makes the ending interesting, not the fact that Faust gets a free pass to Heaven. 

Highlights of this version: It’s fucking hilarious, and Mephistopheles is the star of the entire show. His arias are in turns sinister and sardonic, playful and powerful. The dialogue is taken directly from Goethe’s Faust in most cases (translated into Italian obviously), and hey, the dialogue in Goethe is really funny and good and witty! Hard to go wrong! 

“Ave Signor” (Hail, Lord!) is such a terrific opener; there will always be something delightful about the idea of the devil conversationally sassing God and daring to make a bet with the Almighty in the spirit of work-place rivalry. “Son Lo Spirito Che Nega Sempre Tutto” (I Am the Spirit That Denieth All Things) is full of dark bravado and rebellion, whistling defiance at the Lord. It’s a great Villain Song and as someone with sympathy for the devil it is completely my jam. “Ecco Il Mondo” (Behold the World) is both teasing and menacing and the staging lends itself to some glorious melodrama. “Ah! Su! Riddiamo, riddiamo” (Turning, turning) gets a prize for being the best infernal chorus and witches’ sabbath scene out of all of them-- it’s frenzied and spooky and satanic and whirling, everything you could want from an orgy of infernal creatures. Ten out of five stars, would exalt Satan to again.

Rating: 4.5 / 5 stars. Second place prize, and Honorable Mention for being the judge’s favorite. It’s not perfect. The story leaves much to be desired-- let’s face it, Part II of “Faust” isn’t especially... dynamic on its own, and especially when condensed to fit into opera format, the events don’t add up into a satisfying narrative.  Boito glosses over some frankly essential elements in the original and just has Faust skip right from his life-ruining adultery to being carried to Heaven on the backs of angels-- just for thinking of all the good he *could* have done if he hadn’t been, you know, a real stinker this whole time.  So I’m not giving Boito a pass for omitting Faust’s Hell Dragging. Furthermore, this play is woefully short on Marguerita; she basically just shows up to be seduced and then a second later is Ruined and Saved. Booo.

But hey-- is this play called “Faust”? Is this play called “Faust and Marguerita”? No. This play is called motherfuckin’ “Mefistofele”, because it’s about Mephistopheles. It’s about our suave, under-appreciated servant of Hell working hard for his cut, trying and squeeze just ONE life-altering moment out of this absolute dehydrated turd of a man, and the play is rife with his frustration. He is the one who whistles in defiance of God, and he loses because it is *inevitable* that he loses. God was never going to let him win that bet; Meph was a tool in his ultimate design to shepherd Faust closer to redemption. Mephistopheles is dragged off stage whistling in defiance as a lifetime’s worth of effort is flushed down the drain in a single moment of seemingly undeserved redemption. Not for a *solitary second* did we want this opera to be about Faust. No. This is the devil’s opera, and that’s why it’s so fucking great. 

Doktor Faust (1916–25, Busoni)

--Adaptation with Thomas Hampson 2006 

--Libretto in German and English

...And now, a German libretto written by an Italian, in contrast with Boito’s Italian libretto translated from German. 

God, this is such a modern ass Modern Opera. It does that thing I hate that modern operas do where the composer is like “What? You wanted a ~melody~? What is this, musical theater??” Like obviously they’ve transcended the need for anything so plebeian as a tune I can fucking hum. It’s very Intellectual, very High Art. The plot is full of tortured genius manpain, naval gazing, and I can’t remember a single aria from it. ...Okay, that’s a bit harsh; in the final two scenes Faust gets some lovely melancholy solos that actually stuck out to me. But this is a three hour long opera. So. Maybe skip ahead.

Plot-wise, this is the most existential of the bunch. No Marguerite in this one, just a Duchess with no name. Faust still ruins his lover’s life but in his final act he rejects both God and the Devil and uses his Supreme Human Will to transfer his life-force into his dead child’s body, resurrecting him as a young man with a blossoming frond of some kind. (Symbolism!!!) 

--This marks the full 180 turnaround from “Faust is forcibly dragged to hell by Satan himself and his body explodes all over the stage” to “NOT ONLY IS FAUST REDEEMED OF HIS SINS BUT HE TRANSCENDS BOTH HEAVEN AND HELL WITH THE INDOMITABLE FORCE OF HIS HUMAN WILL, GOD IS DEAD, FAUST IS THE ÜBERMENSCH”, and to that I say *ptttttttbbbbbbbb*.   

Rating: 1/5 stars.  Plot is ponderously philosophical, overweighted with symbolism, and the music, while interesting, is largely forgettable with a few exceptions. Also it is Three Goddamn Hours Long. Points lost for nameless female character who fails the Lampshade Test. Loses further points for a dry and flavorless Mephisopheles, boooo.     

The Rake's Progress (1951, Stravinsky)

--1992 production with Jerry Hadley and OH LOOK WHO IT IS IT’S SAMUEL RAMEY AGAIN HUH WELL DON’T MIND IF I DO this production is really, really well acted and funny and the dance portions are especially cool. 

--Libretto in English and Italian

Another modern opera, this time by a composer I actually like! 

Now, this isn’t technically a Faust opera; its based on a series of delightfully comedic prints by William Hogarth, detailing the decline and fall of a young man who inherits a huge sum of money, spurns his true love, and wastes his inheritance on foolish ventures and hookers, eventually ending up insane in Bedlam (I’m not saying tertiary syphilis, but definitely tertiary syphilis-- Let us take a moment to appreciate both condoms and penicillin.) 

In the original paintings there is no deal-making devil, but but luckily he’s been added in by librettist W.H. Auden (who was intermittently friends and lovers with Christopher Isherwood!!!!-- I just wanted to add that because it makes my gay little heart very happy). The names are all vaudevillian puns, such as “Tom Rakewell”, “Anne Trulov”, and “Sellem, the Auctioneer”. Mephistopheles has been exchanged for the slick, modern Nick Shadow.

Highlights of this version: Baba the Turk, the bearded lady that Nick convinces Tom to marry as a demonstration of his free will (???). Listen: I know she’s meant to be comic relief and is an unflattering stereotype, but dang if she didn’t win my heart completely. I like that her marriage with Tom apparently falls apart, not necessarily because she’s a bearded lady, but because she’s just very chatty and overbearing and is much better traveled than Tom, and has had numerous wealthy and important suitors who she won’t shut up about. She’s knows her own worth and conducts herself accordingly, and is very vocal when she knows she’s being treated badly. She’s got Anne’s back when they meet at the auction of all Tom’s property (which she was included in as an object because she was under a spell of silence and immobility-- rude), telling her to watch out for Nick Shadow and generally being very forgiving and understanding about the whole affair; she was hurt that Tom lied about his affections, but she doesn’t blame Anne for it, which is wholesome. Then she announces that she’s going back to her career on the stage because she is BABA and she has had enough of these scrubs. Anyway. I love her. She’s described very beautifully if you happen to like beards, which I do (and so did the author).  

“No Word From Tom” reminds me why I love Stravinsky so much (and Dawn Upshaw sings it like a nightingale). “Lanterloo My Lady” is spritely and fun and texturally interesting; besides, “sweet dreams my master, dreams may lie, but dream-- for when you wake you die” is chill-inducing. “How Dark and Dreadful is This Place” plus the whole card game in the cemetery is sad and grim and comical all at the same time; Tom is such a pathetic and naive mess you can’t help but feel sorry for him, even while Nick’s smugness is delicious. Tom’s mad songs are all quite touching and beautiful. 

Rating: 4/5 stars. The libretto is really excellent, jazzy, full of great wordplay and aphorisms. Nick is a delightful Mephistopheles; thoroughly modern, witty, sly, arch, fourth-wall breaking. Faust is not dragged to hell, but he is condemned to insanity. Loses points for a female lead whose entire purpose in life is to babysit this asshole through his poor life decisions. Also, while certainly more memorable and melodic than Busoni’s Faust, it still has that sort of shouty modern opera sound that I find a little challenging to listen to; but that said, the music fits the plot, and the plot is fun and absorbing, so while there may be fewer individual arias I’m likely to put on my jogging playlist, it’s engaging to watch as a production from start to finish.  

--Okay! That’s it! I know, I know, this isn’t actually a review of every Faust opera to date, but I have to get back to my life, and you already know my feelings on modern and contemporary opera. Thank you for bearing with me for this entire novel-length post that literally no one asked for!! You’re a the real hero here! I love you almost as much as I love Samuel Ramey in tights.  *stage kiss*  Yours in Service Here but in Mine Below, ~Wesley 

[yugirl-with-dragons]

5d’s Medieval AU- Sanctuary

This fanfic was written by @aceyugiohdreamer for my 5d’s Medieval AU. My friend is CRAZY and I LOVE her. With. All. Of. My. Heart. (Oh and thank you for giving me the permission to post it here <3 <3 <3 sorry if it took me some time, I had no computer! But I mean... 1) your writing is great 2) the world must kNOW it’s great 3) I wanted to keep it on my blog bc it was AU related, so I can re-read it how many times I want to :3)

I hope ya’ all enjoy it bc I LOVED IT OKAY. THE INTROSPECTION. THE DETAILS. THE SYMBOLISM. THE WAY YOU DESCRIBE STARDUST AND HIS ACTIONS HOLY SHIT. AND AKI’S. AND YUSEI’S. FFS EVERYTHING IS PERFECT AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY ANYMORE??? WHAT THE HECK IS LEFT TO SAY WHEN SOMETHING IS ALREADY SO PERFECT ????

GOSH I loved the part where Stardust carried Yusei on his back (ToT)// (for some reasons, I love imagining him sleeping) and Aki. Omg Aki on the roof. Gazing at the stars. And Stardust secrectly envying her, her magic and her human hands caressing Yusei, gOSH MY FEELS ??? SOMEONE HELP ME I’M DYING HERE ???!! ;__________;

AND IDK AKI AND YUSEI’S INTERACTION. ASDFGHJKL SOMEONE BRING BACK MY FAITHSHIPPER SIDE BC IT HAS JUST D I E D FANGIRLING AAAAAAAAA 

Yusei is just so pure and so strong and so kind and so sweet and so beautiful and so sdfghjkl I LOVE. HIM. And I love how you show all of this in such a delicate scene ;____; Every single detail of his personality can be seen and I love how he talks to Stardust and dfghj all the fUCKING REST. I meannnnnnnnn. KY. I. LOVE. THIS. YOU PUT YOUR BEST IN IT AND I CAN SEE IT. YOU’RE SO TALENTED AND I LOVE WHEN YOU WRITE THINGS FOR MY AU BC I ALWAYS KNOW IT’S A++++ QUALITY WORK. AND IT FUCKING IS ALL THE TIMES. ASDFGHJK. I DON’T EVEN NEED TO BE A NATIVE SPEAKER TO BE SURE OF IT, THIS IS PURE GOLD AND I’VE ALREADY RE-READ IT THRICE FFS

TELL ME YOUR SECRET HOW DO YOU DO THIS???? AND IN SUCH A SHORT TIME???????? ASDFGHJKL *SCREECHES*

#I think in the meantime I’ll go back in my dark corner melting over and over in a puddle rereading this again bc IT’S. FUCKING. PERFECT. 

The fic is under the cut (obv) <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Though the sun had drifted out of sight behind the forest’s body of trees, the sky was still colored blue and bright enough to light their way. That wouldn’t last for too much longer though, Aki knew: they were slipping into the time of year when the days grew shorter. She kept her eyes forward as she guided the massive dragon. She didn’t need to look back to know he was following, after all—she could hear the bump of each footstep against the earth, feel the soft tremor ripple out beneath her own feet. And since she wasn’t about to start a conversation with a dragon she wasn’t at all familiar with, she didn’t need to meet those solid gold eyes of his. It had been a little work pushing Yusei up onto the dragon’s back, but since Yusei had still had some consciousness at the time, and with the dragon helping as well, Aki had been able to push with enough strength to get him all the way up. He had fallen unconscious shortly after that, which was just as well, since it gave her time to think.

crunch     crunch     fwip   crunch   shwish

The collection of dried debris—leaves, bark, twigs, nuts—rustled and snapped beneath her soles, but it faded into the back of her mind as her thoughts delved deeper.

“The rest are still coming. You need to go and go now.”

How had his voice rung so clearly when everything about her in that moment had been buzzing?

“I’ll hold them off, but you should get away as fast as you can.”

Even now, recalling that moment, she felt the memory reviving the same surge of adrenaline—hot, tight ropes knotting inside her, melted iron spilling into her veins—exhorting her heart to quicken its pace. She breathed in the cool air, deep and slow, to clear it away, ease her pulse. The danger was gone.

For now.

Right?

He had done what he had said he would, giving her a chance to run to safety, unpursued. And he had flown over her without making any attempt to land and take her for himself.

She remembered those eyes, such a striking blue, boring straight into her, direct and . . .

Sincere.

If she had seen nothing of him but his eyes, she would have still felt this uncanny sense that he was honest.

Did she believe that kind of thing? That the eyes were the windows to the soul? Wasn’t it possible that someone could conceal their true feelings, or project something false?

Maybe.

But, it wasn’t all she had seen. He had saved her. Without asking or demanding anything in return. He acted like such a . . .

Well, a knight.

Or at least, the kind of knight in fairy tales, the kind who were just and selfless and dutiful. The kind that seemed too good to be true—considering that they were only human, after all.

And he was human. She sensed no magic in him, nothing ingrained in his being from birth. And she had only known him for a few minutes, total, so how could she know that what he had appeared to be in that encounter was who he really was? He could be . . . anyone.

“Yusei.”

That’s who he had said he was. And, more than that, he had asked who she was.

Her instinct told her he wasn’t dangerous—not to her anyway.

But, was a witch’s instinct worth any more than a normal human’s? Normal, flawd humans who misjudged and miscalculated so often?

Well, what about the dragon? The dragon had a good aura about him, like starlight, bright and white. And he cared deeply about Yusei, that was obvious. Could a being with that kind of heart attach itself to someone with dark intentions, shaded with malice and deception?

She replayed in her mind the moment when she had reached out her hands to his body, concentrating on the feel of his injuries: he hadn’t recoiled, hadn’t contorted his face in revulsion, hadn’t narrowed his eyes in suspicion. She had felt nothing in his aura hostile toward her presence at all—and that wasn’t something that could be hidden. No amount of masking or repression could prevent her from sensing such an emotion. Just like she could feel pieces of his body that eyes and fingers were too dull to grasp, there were other parts—inner parts, heart-mind-soul parts—that she could perceive just as clearly.

If nothing else, she trusted the magic. She relied on that trust to ease her twisting insides. She had to keep calm, otherwise that dragon would notice her nervousness—if he hadn’t already—and maybe he wouldn’t like that. She didn’t need that kind of tension between them on top of everything else. Calm down, she told herself. He’s injured, there’s no way with all that blood loss he’s going to be a threat. And she assumed that as long as she didn’t hurt Yusei, the dragon wouldn’t be a threat to her, either.

Maybe she just needed to stop thinking about it, maybe she was working herself up too much. She just needed to give him a place to rest and recover and—

“Oh.”

She looked up. They had arrived.

She had been so wrapped up in her thoughts that she hadn’t even noticed how far they had gone. And her feet had carried her along by memory.

She hid her surprise by continuing on, all the way to the front door. She stood at the threshold, her hand on the knob. The dragon crawled up slowly behind her, moving his body carefully so as not to disturb the load stretched out on top of him, while carrying the knight’s bag by the strap between his teeth—how such razors weren’t slicing right through that thin leathery material, she had no idea. She had other things to think about right then, like how there was no way that dragon was going to fit inside the house. Which meant, she was going to have to take Yusei in on her own from here.

She opened the door before stepping up to the dragon, who had come as close as he could and turned sideways to give her clear reach. The dragon lowered itself, belly to the ground, and carefully shifted his shoulders and muscles as Aki reached up to catch Yusei’s body as it slowly began to slide down the dragon’s sloping side. Working together she and the dragon managed to keep him steady until she had him on his feet leaning against the dragon, his arm around her shoulder. From this point on, though, she wasn’t sure she could get him inside on her own. She looked at him, his eyes still closed even after being so jostled. Could she wake him? In that state?

She bit her lip, tightened her grip on his wrist. “Yu . . . Yusei?” she asked tentatively.

He didn’t move, as she had expected—she had spoken so softly.

“Hey, Yusei?” she tried a little louder, tugging at his wrist.

Nothing.

She exhaled, wondering what to do. Even if she could wake him up, admittedly she would feel guilty pulling him up into consciousness by force. Why wasn’t she stronger?

She exhaled again. Then, she felt Yusei’s body lighten. Confused, she looked for an explanation and found the dragon’s tail curling against Yusei, holding him up. She smiled, an effect of the relief washing through her. Bless this dragon. She looked up into his face and smiled her gratitude to him, then turned back to the door and slowly trudged forward into the house, holding Yusei up as high as she could with the help of the tail’s strength so that his feet dragged as little as possible. The dragon followed, moving backwards while looking over his shoulder.

“I’m turning right,” Aki called back to him, and the tail followed her guidance closely into the first bedroom until she set Yusei down on the bed. The tail retracted and she saw the dragon’s face appear at the window as she lifted Yusei’s legs up and shifted his body into what seemed the most comfortable position. And since there was no hope of getting the blanket he was on out from beneath him, she grabbed a different blanket from the small closet. She threw it open, flapped it gently, and spread it over him, pulling it up to his shoulders. She leaned back, breathing hard from all the exertion, but it passed quickly. His eyes were still closed, and she put a hand over his chest to feel his heartbeat. It didn’t seem out of the ordinary, and his breathing was calm. She smiled and exhaled with satisfaction.

Yes, good. He was settled.

She went to the kitchen and filled a pitcher with water, then brought it back to set on the side table with an empty glass, just in case he woke up on his own. She glanced to the side and saw the dragon was still there at the window, watching.

It seemed she wouldn’t be closing the curtain any time soon.

Then the pack hanging from the dragon’s teeth caught her attention again. She knew it would be safe with the dragon, but just in case . . . She glided to the window, with more care to be quiet than was needed, and opened it. “I can put that in here . . . by him,” she said, holding out her hands, but not too much, so as not to seem demanding. It was just an offer, she’d let the dragon decide what was best.

He stared for a moment, and she waited, giving him the time to make up his mind. Perhaps there was something valuable in that worn but sturdy pack that he feared she would discover and covet for herself, or perhaps it was just the simple fact that it was personal, the knight’s only possessions in the world, not anything to be passed around to strangers.

She didn’t know. She didn’t need to know. And she didn’t try to convince the dragon of anything—he could read her aura well enough on his own, something worth more than words. He would know her intentions through that.

Slowly he began to lean forward, until the pack was in her hands. It was big, and bulky. He held it for her while she examined the exterior with her hands, trying to find the best way to accept such a mass. She had a feeling it was heavier than it looked, just like that knight was stronger than he looked. Well, she didn’t have to take it very far . . .

But still. “Maybe . . . you should just set it down,” she finally conceded, taking a step back to make room. The dragon’s expression was stony, but she was certain she could sense a kind of amused snort in his heart. Well, better that than making a fool of herself trying to hold that thing up in the air on her own.

The dragon complied and poked his snout shallowly through the window, enough to lower the pack gently to the floor, then he released it and withdrew from the room.

“Ok,” she sighed. And then she took hold of the strap—she had said she would put it by Yusei, after all—and then heaved. Fortunately, it wasn’t so heavy as to be immovable. It slid well across the smooth wood floor until the settled it at the side of the bed, close enough that he could touch it if he reached down. She turned back to see the dragon still watching her closely, as she had expected, and returned to the window. She coughed softly, hesitating, then muttered under breath, “Sorry,” before she closed the window again.

It was a clean window though, she told herself. Clear enough to be as good as open . . .

She took one more look at Yusei before leaving the room. The front door was still open, but rather than closing it she went outside. The dragon was crouched by the house, and in a fleeting thought he seemed to her like the perfect guardian. No threat could touch this place, would dare enter its territory. Isolation and concealment had been effective means of protection so far for all these years, but the dragon added a marvelous presence of security.

“He’ll be all right,” she said, stepping forward. If they had been close she might have put a reassuring hand on the dragon, but, despite saving his rider, she wasn’t sure they were on that emotional level. She settled for overlapping her arms close against her middle. The dragon glanced at her obliquely. “He seems to be in good condition,” she continued. “If he gets the rest he needs, he’ll be fine.”

The dragon stared. She wasn’t sure if dragons blinked—had she seen this one blink earlier? she couldn’t quite remember for certain—but this one wasn’t at the moment. It felt like . . . he expected her to say more.

She licked her lips quickly. “I can’t say for sure how long it will take,” she offered. “He did lose a lot of blood, but . . . I’ll do what I can to . . . to help him recover.”

The dragon kept staring, and she felt the weight of his scrutinizing assessment, but then she saw the slight dip of his head in a shallow nod.

Good, good. She exhaled quietly.

“I’m about to go start dinner,” she announced. “Normally I only make enough for myself, but, if I need to I can . . . make something for you, too.” That would certainly be a new experience.

The dragon tilted its head. It was a familiar gesture, one of curiosity, like a human lifting an eyebrow when confronting an oddity. But there was more than just the gesture. She could understand him—not so much in words, but in sense. The language of magic communicating on its own terms. She stared into those golden eyes, and like a resonance, a thrumming vibration inside her mind, she comprehended meaning.

Don’t worry about me, the vibration conveyed. I can fend for myself. She nodded—that, she could believe. He had such a powerful, majestic body, sleek on the surface, gleaming like a mirror when the light caught at just the right angle, and tons of thick, hard muscles bundled beneath, rippling like currents with every tightly controlled movement. His body alone was certainly a force to be reckoned with, so much power there ready to be unleashed when needed. If she concentrated, she would be able to discern what kind of magic he possessed wound up within every fiber of his being, but she knew that was rude. Invasive. Like someone slipping a hand inside another’s clothing. The last thing she wanted was to offend such a creature.

They were at least on respectful terms now. A tense and fragile newborn thing.

And it was just as well—she wasn’t sure what a dragon ate, or, assuming she had access to whatever that was, if she had enough to feed such a massive body, even for one day. Having impractical, unnecessary offers declined was such a relief. Divine had stocked up the house with enough for her to last a while, since it was never certain how long he would be gone, but she didn’t know how long it would last with extra mouths.

“Ok, well than,” she sighed, brushing her shirt unnecessarily and putting her hands on her hips. “I’ll, uh . . . be inside.” She flicked her head toward the door and turned her body, but kept her eyes on the dragon’s until he turned away first, tail twitching at his side as he stared through the window.

She entered the house, hovered at the opening with her hand on the door’s edge, and decided against closing it. The weather was nice, and it felt . . . rude, to close the door, especially after having just closed the window in his face, even if the dragon couldn’t come through and was only interested in the view through the window anyway. With the door open it at least felt like they were part of the same space, just in different rooms.

Maybe she was just overthinking things again.

She shook her head as she scoped around the kitchen and decided on what to make.

***

Night had painted the sky and everything beneath hours ago. Stardust was returning from a short venture to feed himself, which he had only felt comfortable doing because Yusei had slept so soundly for so long, and that woman Aki had gone in to check on him a few times with no signal that anything was amiss. He had watched her press the back of her hand against Yusei’s forehead, her fingers against his throat, things impossible for him to do. It wasn’t just the hunger that had driven away him to find food, he had needed to move and flex out the frustration tangling in his body. The window and walls may be separating him from Yusei, but there were more obstacles than that.

When he emerged into the clearing, those obstacles were still there, and the frustration was still tangled and hot, but, he trusted Yusei would be well soon and they’d be back together, on their way, hopefully to find that other damn dragon that had caused this trouble in the first place. He wasn’t going to let that black brute get away with it.

He plodded toward the house, back to the window, when he happened to glance up. It was the witch—he saw her sitting up on the roof, leaning forward against her bent legs with her arms wrapped around them, he eyes turned upward to the black sky encrusted with fine glitter. He had seen a similar pensive expression on Yusei many times, always aimed upward, as if the stars called out to him in a voice even his magic senses couldn’t detect.

He knew from that far-off look that right then, and probably for a good amount of time, she wasn’t there. Not really. She had flown away to somewhere even he with his massive, strong wings could not reach. She would have to return on her own.

There wasn’t much he could do to make himself inconspicuous, but he had enough respect for that transfixed expression—such an entranced meditation with whatever things humans thought about when they got lost in that wide expanse of galaxy and soul overlapped together—that he would at least try to not distract her out of it. He slowed his movements and curled his body and limbs as he moved forward to avoid brushing against trees and shrubbery and pounding against the earth with too much force. He felt vaguely reptilian, which was a distasteful thought. Humans—he certainly had made many more accommodations for them these last ten years or so than he had ever expected to. He stopped, settling himself calmly into the cleared circular space, and aimed his gaze back inside the house. He could see Yusei asleep in the bed, and felt the phantom of that small human body pressed against his own. How strange it felt to not have him there. How strange that it felt so strange.

But, to be honest, he didn’t mind. Some humans were worth getting attached to. And as long as Yusei was getting better, he could stand the walls separating them—for a little while.

He turned his eyes again, shifting them upward. Aki was still staring, head tilted back. Yusei had always been noble-minded, saving people first and asking questions later. Fortunately, this had turned out to be one of those times where it actually earned him some benefit. It wasn’t always like that, but Yusei didn’t seem bothered by it. The guy was incurably moral, sometimes surpassing the dragon’s patience, but really he wouldn’t change a thing about him. They were partners. A team. They’d done so much together, understood each other. If he were human, or at least the right size, he would have liked to be able to put his arm around Yusei’s shoulders every now and then, like any other friend would, maybe look at the stars with him and ask what he thought about when he saw them. Maybe he would, in his own way, once Yusei was healed and they were back on their way. Nudge him with his nose or something.

He was grateful he still had the opportunity to do that, thanks to the woman. The witch. He had encountered witches before, a few, but none had felt like this one. Granted, every witch’s—every human’s—aura was unique, had its own personality in the fine details and textures, but there were similarities in currents, in the general pool of shapes and colors. He wasn’t sure what it was, but there was something in this woman he had never felt before. But even so, he could feel in the fundamental gradient of her magic that he could trust her—trust her with the person most important to him in all the world.

The person he had not been able to save himself.

He still cringed at the thought, the memory of that attack, the sensation of falling as blood leaked out of his body even as it healed on its own, the smell of Yusei’s blood and the feel of his hands holding on tight for dear life as the ground got closer and closer and closer . . . The dragon had done the best he could to keep Yusei on the right side, keep him from getting crushed in the impact. And he had succeeded in that, but he was keenly aware that if this witch had not come and used her magic to heal the wounds Yusei had sustained in the battle, had not taken him into her home to give him water and food, his companion would be long dead, and he would have sung a song of mourning for days before he could lift himself into the air again. Mired in such a thought, he cursed his own limited ability. He was a dragon! He should be capable of so much more! He should be able to do more than merely protect, to use his body as a defense and a shield, he wanted to do more, to be more. And so, though he was grateful, he couldn’t help but feel a slight burn in his heart as he stared at the woman, the smoldering lick of jealousy along the pit of his stomach.

Aki’s eyes slowly drifted across the gaps and spaces between the shining stars, linked by invisible lines her imagination provided. Sliding here, jumping there, back and forth, around in circles and spirals, traveling across the black sea to the tiny islands of light. She went so far, somewhere between flying and swimming, feeling the stars like a brush of gauze in her soul. It was something she wasn’t sure Divine could feel. He would look at the stars with her, explain to her constellations, and certain planetary configurations of power, but, when it came to the stars and planets themselves, each little speck, she had her doubts that he could feel them, hear them in his skin. That was something she had learned as she got older: he was knowledgeable, for sure, knowing so much and teaching her all of it, but she noticed little things here and there that he didn’t seem to sense.

That was ok, though. And maybe someday he would let her teach him some things. Maybe someday she could guide him enough to feel the tickling vibration of a star’s breath beneath his skin. He would like that, she was sure.

She smiled to herself, hugging her legs tighter. And so she arrived back on the roof, reconnecting with the weight of her body and the feel of time in the present, and realized she felt a bit stiff and sore from having been sitting for so long in one posture. She unwrapped her arms and began flexing and stretching, bending and twisting to loosen her muscles and joints. She arched her back and rolled her neck, and that was when she noticed the dragon had returned. He lay in a shape suited to his body’s anatomy, his head slightly raised, and because his golden eyes had no iris or pupil she couldn’t be sure if he was looking at her or somewhere else. It felt strange to be self-conscious about the gaze of a dragon, but that was only the surface logic thinking. Dragons had great depth to their souls and hearts and magic, she knew. Being around them could feel very much like being around a human, even if the language wasn’t the same, there was still a flow of communication and understanding, a sense of being of the same soul stuff. Magic aided in that flow, but she could see—anyone could see—that this dragon and Yusei had mastered that flow with each other, had knit themselves together in companionship. She wondered just how well they could communicate, if it was like talking and having a conversation, or if they caught gists and wordless meanings in their gestures and eyes and body language.

She also wondered if she should tell Divine about meeting a dragon. She was sure he would have wanted the opportunity to meet this one himself, but would it be kindness to tell him about it as best she could, or cruelty to let him know he had been unlucky enough to miss something so rare?

One more thing for her to think about.

For now, she saw that the dragon seemed even more majestic in the dark, as if his white skin was meant to be seen in the contrast, emitting a subtle glow and, in the right light, flashing with pinpoint sparkles, as if the skin wasn’t smooth but faceted, every scale cut into tiny angles too small to see with the naked eye. There might be as many such sparkles there as stars in the sky. Which was more stunning? It was hard to say.

The dragon was back in his place, his curled body against the ground, his settled head in such a way that one eye faced the window.

She smiled. She hoped Yusei could feel that guardian spirit close by. Well, maybe that was why he could sleep so well—the man barely shifted, always in the same position whenever she checked in.

She would be grateful to sleep even half as well. Knowing that dragon was there, she just might. The only reason she would be closing the door that night would be to keep the chill creeping into the air from filling the house as well.

She’d put another blanket over her charge though, just in case.

***

Mist hovered above the ground, cooling her ankles and fingers as she shuffled through the garden to collect her items. She was in the back, the night-black trees regaining their color and clear outlines in the dim dawn light. The damp smell of dew thickened the air as she sorted and plucked, following her senses, both physical and magical, to know which of the wildflowers and grasses she needed, which strands and buds were the most potent. She had been taught well to know which plants had which properties, which healed what malady, but there was still plenty of room to rely on the magic in her to find just the right auras.

She collected her fragrant bundles and stood, dusting off the knees of her skirt. It wasn’t so much a garden—that was something more intentionally directed—rather she had simply encouraged was what already naturally close by to flourish. It was perfect, always providing more than enough.

Grinding slowly with her mortar and pestle, she reduced her assortment into a paste, one that could dye her skin a rich green if she touched it. She mixed it with some fruit preserves in a bowl and then added some bread that was still young at the edge.

She entered her guest’s room, and because the window faced the wrong way it was still quite dark inside, so she set down the food by the water pitcher and lit the large candle next to it. With the light, she could see there was more color in his cheeks now. She hadn't realized how pale he had been before. A good sign.

“Yusei,” she called softly, hoping he was only asleep by now. The shadows danced on his face, creating a kind of mysterious half-mask in the spaces opposite the candle.

A knight of light and darkness.

She glanced toward the window where the early morning coated everything beyond the dragon’s white body with darkness. She couldn’t see any gold, which meant the dragon’s eyes were closed. It made her feel less self-conscious to know she wasn’t being monitored, so she put a hand on his shoulder and leaned closer.

“Yusei?” she called again, still softly, because when she squeezed his shoulder she could feel him, his aura, closer to the surface, hovering. He would arrive soon.

***

It felt like floating. Thickening. Consciousness piecing together bit by bit, within the darkness. A darkness he was becoming aware of, just as he was becoming aware of himself. He could sense things now—hear, smell, feel—his body just felt . . . heavy. All of it. Including his eyelids.

“Yusei.”

But he concentrated, the small muscles shuddering. Open, he told them.

“Yusei?”

Harder, just a little harder, he worked, until finally, slowly, they obeyed. At first it was only blurry shapes and soft lights. But he blinked, the images sharpening as his eyes adjusted, focused.

“Hey.”

It was Aki, looking down on him. Sitting on the edge of a bed that he was lying in.

Strange, he couldn't . . . The last thing he remembered . . . Soft undulation as he lay against Stardust’s back, a sensation of falling, but not from Stardust, more like, away, upward, into the sky, into a black darker than night, starless, empty . . .

“How are you feeling?” she asked softly, pressing her hand lightly against his forehead.

He shut his eyes for a moment to take stock, to run his focus through each limb, each tangible piece of himself. He opened his eyes again.

“Not bad,” he answered in a voice more rough than he had expected. His throat felt dry.

She nodded approvingly. “Good,” she said, turning to the side and reaching out. He shifted a little, feeling stiff, and as he shuffled himself upward on the bed she turned back with something in her hands: a bowl, small slices of bread standing inside against the side. “Here,” she said, holding it toward him. “I . . . made you a . . . a little something. It'll help with the blood recovery.”

He realized he was hungry. And thirsty. He pushed himself up more until he was sitting, back against the headboard.

“Thank you,” he said, smoothing his voice out. He took the bowl from her, and as he used a piece of bread to scoop up some of the fruit preserves at the bottom, she turned again and poured some water into a glass. She held it patiently as he ate—it was good, simple but good—and he took it when he was ready and downed the whole thing. Refreshing. He needed more.

He breathed deeply, catching his breath, and as if she had read his mind she took the glass and refilled it.

“Thank you,” he said as he took it and another long swig. He set it down on the small side table then turned back to the bowl in his lap.

“Was I out very long?” he asked, scooping more preserves onto the next slice.

“Just one night . . . and the afternoon before.”

“Hn,” he muttered through his nose as he bit down. Good, that wasn't bad at all.

She pinched his wrist with her fingers, a focused expression on her face, then released him some moment later.

“Your pulse is steady,” she declared gently, “and a little stronger, but I doubt you're in totally fit condition.”

He agreed. He was awake, but he could tell that might not last very long. He wasn't in any pain, but exhaustion tugged at the back of his eyes, at his whole head, like an anchor dragging him back into that empty sky . . .

It felt nice to fill his stomach for the trip.

“Thank you,” he said again. He didn’t mean just for the food, but he felt too tired to say anything more than that.

She looked at him, her eyes seeming to glow—her almond-shaped eyes, autumn brown tinted with dark red and gold, amber in the right light. They held each other’s gaze for a moment. She seemed unsure how to respond, because her mouth opened and closed a few times, until she finally said with a wry smile, “Well I doubt your friend would be very forgiving if I didn't get you back to full health.”

He followed her eyes as they shifted and found the window, where he saw Stardust curled up and asleep just on the other side. He mirrored her smile. He could laugh because he knew it was a joke—she would have saved him without the dragon’s implied threat. She had. She had offered her help when she could have just left him injured beneath Stardust’s wing where she found him.

“He's been watching over you the whole time,” she continued. “Well, except one small break when he went off for a moment, but otherwise . . .”

Yusei smiled, heart warm with affection. He could see Stardust’s body expanding and shrinking in the slow rhythm of his breathing. He could almost feel it, a physical memory from lying against that body for so many years.

“What's his name?” she asked.

“Stardust,” he answered. He turned his gaze back to Aki and saw, in the second before she turned as well, that she had been looking at the dragon with a thoughtful expression.

“Stardust,” she repeated. “That's very . . . fitting.”

He laughed. “Yeah,” he nodded.

“He's beautiful.”

He nodded again. It was true. He was also loyal, strong, powerful. Dangerous. A trait not uncommon to beautiful things.

“How long have you two been together?”

He lifted up his bread for another bite, answering first, “Since I was a kid.”

“Amazing,” she breathed.

Her eyes shone, and there was a warmth in them that wasn’t just the reflection of candlelight. She looked back to him, and as she watched him eat the wonder ebbed away into something more like shyness.

“I don't know what kind of food you're used to, but I hope it's not too bad.”

He shook his head. “It's great,” he reassured her, calling on all his available energy to speak. “I've gone days scrounging for scraps, and plenty of others foraging for anything I can find in the wild.”

“Oh,” she said, seeming surprised.

“Not to say this is like that,” he added, feeling suddenly concerned he had said something that could be construed as an insult. “This is luxury in comparison.”

She smiled and looked away. “Well, I'm glad,” she said softly. “If you . . . tell me something you like I can see if I can make it.”

He thought as he finished the last of his small meal, then shook his head. “Nothing comes to mind. I'm not picky.”

She took his empty bowl. “Interesting,” she mused. “I guess I had a more . . . lavish image of a knight’s lifestyle.”

He smirked. “Hard to do anything worthwhile surrounded by finery. Too many problems happen in the grimy underbelly. And the problems that are in the fine places,” he sighed, leaning his head back, “I doubt I'm suited to fix.”

She considered him. From what she understood, wealthy people—especially wealthy political people—weren't the kind to be straightforward and honest. They dealt more in manipulation and artifice. This man before her seemed more the kind to face a problem head on, a direct approach with force and immediate results.

She had a feeling he was good at what he did.

“We all have the things we’re best suited for,” she said softly, seeing in his closed eyes that he might slip away soon.

But he opened them to look at her. “What are you best suited for?”

She hesitated, blinking rapidly a few times. It was hard to say, since she lived a life of mostly isolation. She was well suited to magic, obviously, learning everything Divine taught, and taking care of the needs of the house. But, did she have a purpose? Something she could do with meaning? Or was she best suited to her isolation?

She laughed softly to clear away the self-consciousness.

He noticed.

“Well right now, let's hope I'm suited to patient care.”

He didn't press. “So far so good.”

She smiled again as she stood.

“You look tired,” she observed.

He nodded. “I am.”

“Feel free to sleep as long as you need. And . . . do you need anything to be more comfortable?”

He shook his head, beginning to slink down lower on the bed. “No, I'm fine. I feel . . . secure.” He glanced sideways. “And not just because Stardust is there.”

More light was filling the sky and the room—the candle was no longer needed by now.

“Do you need the curtain closed?” she asked.

“No, thank you. The light doesn't bother me.”

“Good,” she laughed. “I doubt he’d be very happy if I blocked his view.”

Yusei laughed too as he settled flat on his back.

“I'll leave the water, in case you wake up thirsty. And I'll check on you every now and then. And I'll tell him that you're doing fine.”

“Thank you,” he said softly, his eyes closing.

She looked at him, this knight, her first guest ever, her hands tightening on the bowl. “You're . . . welcome,” she murmured.

And then she walked out, thinking she had never been thanked so much before.

***

After she set the bowl in the kitchen, she went outside to find Stardust rustling awake. His attention first went to the window, then he looked at her when he noticed her coming toward him.

“He was awake for a short while,” she informed him. “Enough to eat and drink something, which he needed, so that’s good, but he's still regaining his strength so he fell back asleep pretty quickly. I'm . . . sorry you missed him.”

Stardust stared at her, and she could feel some conflict in his heart—annoyance, perhaps, that he had missed Yusei’s first awakening, and relief that he was showing signs of recovery.

“He’s going to be ok, and I'm sure he'll wake up again sometime today, so . . .” She hoped so, anyway. She could feel this was hard on the dragon. It would do him a lot of good to see for his own eyes. She resolved to open the window next time so Yusei could talk to him.

In the meantime, she would try to go about her normal routine. She still had things to do for herself, after all.

***

It was dark again, and he still felt tired, but not as much as before.

Or maybe he was just trying to convince himself of it. He wasn’t sure. His head still felt a little fuzzy.

But he felt safe—that was certain.

Aki was sitting by his side again, the candle flickering and lighting a fire in her eyes. He watched her. His vision was still a bit blurry, more so at certain internals than at others, like intermittent waves pulsing against the back of his eyes, but he could still make out her movements, the vivid splash of her hair against the neutral palette of the background.

She had brought him more food, which he had gratefully eaten, and as he did so he began thinking—he hadn’t been able to do much of that earlier—reflecting. She had brought him into her home. Made him comfortable. Looked after him. He hadn’t expected anything from her when he had saved her, and even now he wasn’t so egotistic as to be grateful he had saved her in order to be saved in return. He merely . . . felt transfixed.

He was familiar with being taken in, being welcomed into someone else’s home.

But not like this, not by a stranger.

He didn’t know her reasons, he didn’t know what kind of person she was, not entirely. Perhaps this was just her way of repaying him, but even so, that meant she felt a sense of balance, of debts and payments—of justice. And, considering what others thought of her, what so many in the world would do to her if they could get a hold of her, he couldn’t help but admire that.

He closed his eyes for a moment, his head feeling heavy. Foggy. He didn’t know her life, didn’t know her story. Why she was doing this, what her feelings were on the matter—he had so little to go on.

But when he opened his eyes, there she was, leaning over him, and there was no hesitation, no reluctance in her face, in the movements of her arm and hand as she rubbed a soft, cool rag against his forehead. Her eyes, dark amber and fiery gold swimming together, kept flicking back and forth to his, but if his gaze unnerved her she didn’t show it, and it did not impede her calm demeanor and careful movements. Did he seem fragile to her? Was she being gentle so as not to bruise him?

Despite all his training—perhaps his instinct was taking over, his instinct for sensing where there was and wasn’t danger—he let his eyelids slowly fall and his muscles relax so they could soak in the sensation of the rag and her light fingers against them.

It wasn’t often he received such touch. Not unless he was back home. The memory of Martha’s fingers combing through his hair, of her strong arms wrapped around him in a motherly embrace . . . it stung even as it filled him with comforting warmth.

He tightened his eyes to hide the tears rising up, to drive them away, but with such an observant gaze, she noticed.

“Are you ok?” she asked, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Are you in pain?”

He inhaled deeply, steadying his throat and lungs. “I’m fine, it’s nothing,” he sighed.

She unexpectedly hardened her grip. “Hey,” she said firmly. “Don’t be like that. If something hurts, you need to tell me so I can fix it. Don’t just try to ignore it when I’m right here.”

He was surprised how stunned he felt. He stared at her. She was taking this seriously, her duty as his physician. If she was going to repay a debt to him, she was going to do it with everything she had. No shoddy work here. Again, he found himself admiring her.

He smiled. “I’ll cooperate, I promise,” he said softly. “If I feel pain, I’ll tell you.” She had meant physically, he knew, so he did as well. But . . . “I was just . . . remembering something.”

Her expression softened. “Oh,” she murmured.

“My mother,” he clarified. In a way. Best to keep things simple—he was still tired, after all.

She was quiet. Then she set aside the rag and asked, “You miss her?”

“All the time.”

She rubbed her hand with her thumb nervously. “Do you . . . get to see her much?”

“As much as I can,” he said. “It’s been a while though . . . since my last visit.”

She seemed uncomfortable. Not so much because of the personal topic, more because the whole thing seemed . . . unfamiliar. Like she didn’t know what to do.

He guessed she didn’t interact with people very much.

He let the silence last without exuding any expectations or discomfort. Their eyes lingered, seeing, wondering. Neither smiled, but there was nothing unfriendly in their faces.

Some time passed, and then Aki made a soft sound as she cleared her throat. But before she could speak Yusei interjected.

“Thank you,” he murmured.

She blinked, caught off guard by then sudden shift. Her lips separated as if to reply, but nothing came out at first. She brushed some of her hair behind her ear and whispered, looking away, “You keep thanking me.”

He also guessed she had never done something like this before. “You brought me into your home. Helped me.” You didn’t have to do that, he added silently. “So yes, I do. I want to thank you.”

She chewed her lip, recollected herself, and shaking her head lightly answered, “It’s no trouble.” She met his eyes. It was that same expression of uncertainty, not knowing what to do, entering completely unfamiliar territory. She wasn’t used to being a host. Probably wasn’t even used to receiving a kind word from anyone.

“You helped me, after all,” she added in a hushed voice.

The way she said it, like it was a strange concept . . .

“You were in trouble,” he noted.

She gave him a strange look. Wondering how that explained anything. “Yes. A lot. You’re the only one who wasn’t threatening me.”

He gave a half-smile. “I only threaten people who deserve it.”

She looked away again. “Everyone seems to think I do deserve it.”

He reached up. His hand moved too fast to stop, and when he had taken hold of her arm it was too late. She jumped lightly under his touch, looked down at his hand, then to his eyes.

“You don’t,” he said calmly. Firmly.

She knew that. She did. She knew she hadn’t done anything to deserve anyone’s hatred or fear.

But . . . it was still nice to hear.

“You are what you are,” he continued in that calmly assertive voice. “Being a witch—having magic—doesn’t make someone good or evil. It’s the same as any human. You are who you are. That’s what’s important. And it’s wrong to make judgments before you know someone.”

She knew that. It was so obvious from her perspective as the victim, as the one wronged, the one ostracized because of her difference. They judged her without knowing her, even considered her an object to be used for their own gain. Of course they were all the ones who were wrong.

But, why was her throat closing up? Getting tight, hard? She swallowed forcefully to reopen it.

Slowly he removed his hand

“Do you live here alone?” he asked, resting his head back down.

“Only sometimes. This is my . . .” What exactly was he to her? Like a father, but, not exactly . . . “Well, his name is Divine. He took me in a long time ago. But he travels a lot, and when he’s gone I take care of things here by myself.”

He wondered what the story was about her parents. Had they thrown her out because she was a witch? Did she run away? Or, did she lose them somehow, like he . . .

He turned his thoughts away from that. “I’m glad,” he said softly. “That you have a home.” He knew. He knew what that meant, having a home. Having even just one person to care for you.

She stared. What was that sincerity in his eyes? That . . . understanding?

“Do you have a home?” she asked.

He smiled, though it had a rueful flavor. “Yes,” he answered. “My mother’s house, where I grew up. But, I think, what’s more important to me, is my mother herself. And Stardust. I’m home with them. Because home isn’t about the place, it’s about the bonds. And that’s the world I want to create, a world where people can make bonds with each other and be happy, at peace.”

She didn’t know what to say to that. It was a nice dream. Idyllic. Just the kind of thing a fairy tale knight would say, would fight for.

Just the kind of world a fairy tale witch like her could never live in.

“I think it’s possible,” he continued, seeing her skepticism. “I think it’s possible for things to get better.”

She envied him that.

“I hope so,” she said, though she didn’t believe it. But she knew he needed to sleep, so the conversation needed to draw to a close.

Yusei began to settle down onto his back again, and when he looked out he saw Stardust at the window, one eye on him as he rested his head on his paws. He wondered how long Stardust would watch over him before he let himself go to sleep.

When he looked back at Aki she had stood and had the two bowls she had brought—one with the meal, one with water for the rag—in her hands. She wasn’t pitiable—she was too strong, too capable for that—but she deserved better. She deserved more freedom, more opportunities, more potential to create the kinds of bonds he so believed in. People like her were the reason he fought so hard. So much denied them, so much taken away. She deserved more than one small haven: she deserved the whole wide world.

He would spend his life opening it up to her, bit by bit if he had to.

***

Another day passed, and at each interval when Yusei woke, he stayed awake longer than the last. By the third day he was fully awake. He ate what Aki offered, including another mixture of her ground flowers, and decided he felt well enough to get on his feet.

Aki didn’t argue with her patient—she trusted him to know his own body. So she stood back, but close enough to offer assistance should he need it. He pushed aside the blankets, slid his legs over and planted his feet on the floor, and then pushed himself up. He felt surprisingly steady, but he attributed it to all of her care. Even if she had never treated someone before, she obviously knew what she was doing. He felt like he was just getting up from a particularly refreshing night’s rest.

“Well?” she asked tentatively. “How do you feel?”

He walked toward the window, slowly, just to be safe, and pressed his hand against the glass. Stardust breathed from his nose against him, coating it in steam.

“I feel great,” he answered, turning back to smile at her. She smiled back, and then he went to the side of the bed where his pack lay. He lifted it by the strap and swung it over his shoulder in one smooth motion.

She knew he must be feeling well if he could manage that so easily. She heard metal clanking against metal inside it, and guess there must be some assortment of weapons, the things that could fit, unlike his broadsword, which was strapped to the outside by the sheath’s belt. She had linked them together back at the clearing before Stardust had taken the whole bundle to carry in his teeth. It dawned on her there might also be some armor in there, since he seemed dressed rather lightly for a knight. Which she was grateful for. He had been heavy enough without such extra weight.

“I, uh . . . guess you’ll be leaving soon, then?” she asked, wringing her hands.

“Probably,” he answered, rounding the edge of the bed to reach her. “It’s still early so there’s plenty of daylight left for us.”

“Right,” she nodded. “And I guess Stardust is getting a little stir-crazy hanging around here.”

Yusei laughed. “Don’t worry about him, he can handle it.”

She smiled. “I have a feeling he’d endure a lot for you.”

He looked at her. “Yeah,” he agreed softly. “We both would.”

She nodded. “Bonds,” she whispered. “Right?”

He looked deeper. Into her eyes. So many rich colors and shades there. Like a forest in the middle of autumn, a kaleidoscope of varying shades of brown warmed with reds like her hair and gold like Stardust’s eyes.

He nodded. “Right.”

They didn’t move, just stared, both forgetting the golden eyes watching them unblinkingly from the other side of the window.

Until Aki bit her lip and ran her hands down her shirt, just to do something with them, and said, her tongue stumbling, “I’ll, uh, make you something, to uh, take with you.”

She twisted left and right, as if she couldn’t decide which way to turn, then with a nervous glance at him finally chose left. He watched her back as she left quickly for the kitchen, smiling to himself. He adjusted the pack on his shoulder and then made his way to the front door.

Stardust was waiting there for him, and he reached out and pressed his hand against the dragon’s forehead.

“Hey,” he said, and Stardust snorted and grumbled a greeting in return. Yusei set his pack down and unhooked his sword’s sheath so he could strap it around his body. He liked the familiar weight against his back, and he tested himself, drawing it out and slipping it back in a few times, getting faster and faster. It felt natural and easy, and the sound of the metallic slide of blade against sheath rang like a song in his ears.

He picked up his pack and swung it back over his shoulder. “You ready?” he asked, stroking Stardust’s neck.

The dragon grunted, and Yusei could feel his hot breath fill the air around them.

“Don’t tell me you’ve been bored,” Yusei laughed, which earned him a heavy nudge.

Yusei nudged back with his elbow, and Stardust gave him a sarcastic narrowed eye. Excuse me for watching over your lazy ass all this time, he seemed to mutter.

Yusei cracked a smile and rubbed Stardust’s forehead again, as if tousling some invisible hair. He leaned against his strong neck and wrapped an arm over it. “Thanks,” he said softly, resting his forehead close to the dragon’s eye.

Stardust relented and exhaled gutturally. A sigh. What am I going to do with you?

Yusei heard footsteps behind him and looked back to see Aki exiting the house with a small bundle of cloth wrapped and tied at the top. She stepped up to him, supporting the bottom with one hand while holding the knot up with the other. “Its . . . it’s not much, but maybe it’ll last you the day,” she said.

He put his hands on hers, accepting the offering. She seemed surprised by the sudden touch but managed to not recoil. She stared at him, her almond eyes grown round and wide, and with warmth he said, “Thank you.”

She blinked rapidly a few times before carefully slipping her hands out from under his and overlapping her arms against her middle. “You’re welcome,” she replied, a little easier this time.

It felt strange, confronting a goodbye that was going to be so . . . final. Unless he came back, they would never see each other again, and he had no real reason to come back, so . . .

Why did that feel so . . . sad?

“Good luck,” she said, trying to push the feeling aside. “With everything.” He probably didn’t need it, though. It seemed to her that if anyone was capable of accomplishing their own mission, it was this knight before her.

“You too,” he said. Then with deep earnestness, he added, “You’re a good person, Aki. You deserve to belong somewhere.”

Her reply came reflexively. “I belong here.” It had been a kind of mantra for so many years. Here, her home, the one place she was safe. No one would hurt her here. Divine would protect her. Somehow it didn’t feel as comforting as it used to.

“It’s one thing to have a place where there’s no threat,” he replied slowly, “and another thing entirely to have a place where you feel welcome, whole-heartedly.”

She didn’t know what to say to that.

“You deserve more than a sanctuary, Aki. A refuge is a good thing to have, but it shouldn’t be where you live your whole life.”

“It shouldn’t, but it is,” she muttered.

He put a hand on her shoulder, curling the bundle in his arm close to his side. “For now.”

Those eyes of his. The dark blue of the sky in the evening as it steadily fades to black. So firm and insistent that she could almost believe him.

She was going to miss those sparks of hope.

He squeezed her shoulder then released it, and turned back to Stardust, who crouched down to give him easy access to his back. She watched as he hopped up with expertise, even with the pack on his shoulder and the bundle in his arm, until he was straddled by Stardust’s shoulders. She stepped back as Stardust rose to his feet, and then watched as he trod away from the house. He circled in place until he was in a good position, then unfurled his large wings, and Aki had to squint against all the sparkling lights they cast catching the sun. She met Yusei’s eyes, feeling a strange heaviness in her chest, and a vision of emptiness filled her, the vision of what would be left once he was gone. Why was that so painful? She had been alone for so long, spent so many stretches of weeks and even sometimes months before on her own. Why did that feel like such a hard life to return to now?

She tightened her jaw, stared unblinkingly, swallowing, forcing the weight in her throat back down and the tears in her eyes to dry by will alone. Yusei raised a hand to her, and she returned the gesture.

Goodbye, she mouthed.

She read the same message on his lips.

And then Stardust flapped his wings. Once. Twice. Three times.

And then with one powerful leap, he swung his wings with the strength of a whirlwind, and Aki had to cover her eyes with the crook of her elbow to protect them from the powerful gust. When she looked back up the dragon was already high above her, his wings still flapping and sending down blast after blast of wind, and then with one last bright shimmer of reflected sunlight, the dragon chose north and pushed himself forward and out of sight.

The winds died down, the trees and grasses fell still around her, and Aki found herself alone, back to real life, as if having woken up from a dream—

—and felt a terrible ache, a hole in her heart, like something had just been lost. Or severed.

The house suddenly felt miserably hollow. Uninviting. Confining.

But, she took in a deep shuddering breath. She had to wash him away, clear him out of her system. Because this was her life. No matter how much hope he had, no matter how much that knight fought, the world around her was still the same, and this was her home—her sanctuary, yes. Her refuge. All she had. This was where she belonged when everywhere else reeked with danger. He couldn’t change that, and she shouldn’t get caught up in his dreams, or else she would never be able to get through each day still ahead.

Because if she thought about it, if she thought too much about how limited her life was, she might wonder what the point of living even was, or maybe . . . even . . . find a hope of her own that drove her outside, into the danger, to find something, another home, a place where people would embrace her. Where she could have a chance to build a real reputation for herself, find meaning in her work and abilities.

A place that probably didn’t exist.

A place she would die trying to find.

If she didn’t think about it, she could go back inside, go back to her routine, and stay alive. Stay safe.

That had to be enough.

“For now.”

Her hands clenched into fists.

Don’t think about it.

Don’t think about it.

Don’t think.

Don’t think.

Don’t.

She took another deep breath. Exhaled slowly. Unflexed her hands and wiggled her fingers.

It was time to wake up. She had work to do.

[chumimiiiin]

Lolita 100 questions tag

1. Screen-name and date of birth, please tell us these~

Chumimiin/Alice, 6/6 2. Height, weight, clothing size, and shoe size? 1,65 m / 54 kg / M / 39 3. Why did you start to dress lolita?

I fell in love with the lolita aesthetic at a really young age, when I discovered Japanese culture and subcultures. For years and years I wished I could be able to wear such gorgeous clothes once I grew up, so many years later my dream came true 4. Which style of lolita do you like? My favourite style is classic, but I love old school as well. Also I have a thing for sweet otome! 5. Express in your own words, the ideal of your above answer.

Various elements and colours that look really good together and a key concept that keeps everything united. 6. Do you have piercings? Where? Both earlobes. 7. Which brands do you like? Innocent World, Emily Temple Cute, Victorian Maiden, Baby the Stars Shine Bright. 8. Which are your favourite clothes (that you have)? Westminster JSK and Crown Jewels JSK by IW, Twinkle Tartan Heart Pocket JSK 9. How many lolita friends do you have? IDK MANY but unfortunately I don’t see them very often.

10. What do you love most about lolita? The huge variety of prints, the love for details and gorgeous materials, the femininity and the creativity you necessarily need to coordinate various items for an outfit.

11. What do you hate about it? Any pet peeves? Not really. I’m just kinda sad this fashion is dying in my country.

12. What lolita magazines do you read? I don’t read any magazine on regular basis, but I own a couple of Kera.

13. Headdresses, bonnets or ribbons/hairbows? Berets and simple bows. 14. Do you wear bloomers? No but I’d love to own a pair of old school ones! 15. Do you tie headdresses at the front or in the back? Always at the front! You must SUFFER lmao 16. Who is your favourite band/type of music? I listen to many different genres, but my favourites atm are folk rock and lo-fi. 17. What is your phone ring tone~? A boring one 18. Do you go to concerts in lolita? Noooo I’m not crazy enough 19. For people who attend concerts: do you headbang there? It depends 20. What colours do you like? Pink, bordeaux, black, gold. 21. What are your hobbies? Drawing, cosplay, workout, taking long walks, watching movies/shows/documentaries. 22. If you have any favourite perfumes, please tell us. La Petite Robe Noire by Guerlain. It’s perfect for lolita fashion. 23. Is there anything you are careful of in lolita? About my dresses and makeup.

24. Do you have any favourite haunts to go to in lolita? Not really, I like to go to different places each time. 25. How many times a week do you dress lolita? I used to dress it really often, now it’s been 4 months since the last time I wore it (too hot here). 26. Please tell us an embarrassing story from when you were a lolita beginner. Since I used to lurk A LOT on the Internet before getting to actually wear lolita, I never had a super embarrassing ita phase, although my first coord wasn’t that good... 27. What is your current hairstyle and colour? Short curly dark brown hair. Not very suited for lolita but whatevs.

28. What is your lolita history?

Discovery : It was 2007, I believe

First real item : 2013. I went to Tokyo and bought some stuff from Bodyline and Closet Child

In between : lurking and lurking and lurking and crying over the beauty I couldn’t have.

29. Do you store your clothes in a special place? In one half of my closet. 30. Did you ever think about quitting lolita? What was the reason? I kinda lost interest in it during this year, but I’m falling again 31. What is your motto? I’m bad with mottos lmao 32. What are your dreams of the future? Being able to find my way and be happy. 33. “This person is so perfect for lolita!” - Do you ever think that about certain celebrities? No. 34. Are there any products/items of which you have with a fond memory? Westminster JSK, it was my dream dress and I was so happy when it came in the mail I was about to cry. 35. What was your first item? I can’t remember, maybe an OP from Bodyline. 36. Do you have a signature pose for photos? No, I keep it simple 37. What is your heart’s bible? [book/magazine/CD/etc…] IDK I can’t choose just one thing. 38. What is the best height (cm) for heels? 6 cm  39. Do you wear tiaras? No, I don’t like them. 40. Do you think you want to try prince style? What kind of prince? Gothic/dark prince? Or “prince on a white horse” style? I’d like to try it! I’d like to go for “gorgeous young prince living in a fairy tale” style. 41. What types of lace do you like? Torchon lace and some laces used by IW. 42. Do you own a doll? Does owning it give you fun, childish feelings? No, but I think they’re beautiful. 43. What is in your lolita bag? Wallet, phone, keys, pochette with emergency makeup (?), earphones, power bank. 44. What is your favourite flower? Hydrangeas. 45. Right now, what is your favourite accessory? An offbrand necklace with pearls and a crown pendant. 46. Please recommend some cosmetics. Revolution palettes, NYX epic ink eyeliner, Urban Decay contour palette 47. With eye-tape your eyes look like a doll’s! What eyelashes will you wear? NYX’s. 48. What is your eye makeup for these eyelashes? I like to change it every time 49. Red Lipstick? Blue? Black? Pink? Pink or soft orange. Or gradient lips with dark red/pink. 50. Which nail polish do you normally choose? Pink, bordeaux or black. 51. Have you ever changed in a train station bathroom? No. 52. What do you think of “twin” and “triplet” lolitas? Super cute! 53. How do you keep in shape for lolita? Recommend something. I keep in shape for my health, not for a fashion... 

54. Do you keep calm when you wear lolita alone in public? Not really, but I try to ignore everyone by listening to music and minding my business. 55. How much do you spend per month on clothes/accessories? I don’t spend much money anymore. 56. Was there a time lag between knowing about lolita and dressing in the fashion? Yes, I couldn’t afford it for a long time. 57. What is your most expensive lolita item? Westminster JSK 58. It takes a lot of money to be a lolita. How do you save? I work and resell stuff I don’t need anymore. 59. Just a little secret here… How much have you spent so far on lolita, roughly? I don’t know, some thousands of € 60. Is there a brand shop you want near where you live? IW, Emily Temple Cute, Leur Getter.

61. “Man, what a rip-off!!” Have you ever thought that about a store? Some AP dresses look cheap af in real life... 62. Do you shop online? If so, put the good & bad points here to advise others. Good point: huge variety of stuff. Bad point: shipping is expensive most of the times. 63. Is there a secret person/shop that you have commissioned a dress just for you from? No. 64. “I can never have that/see that happening!! But I will always want it!!” Is there a brand you think this of? Jane Marple and Victorian Maiden stuff, because it’s too expensive. Also, my ultimate dream dress: Lotta JSK in green by IW.

65. What do you do with the clothes you don’t want anymore? I try selling them. 66. What is your most recent purchase? (Even non-lolita.) Queen Mary Fragrance JSK in pink by ETC (my otome dream dress!) 67. Is there an item you love that you can’t buy/seem to find? Lots of Victorian Maiden stuff and veeeery old dresses 68. What do you think of people who only wear lolita to concerts? Do they really exist? 69. What do you think of lolitas without makeup? If they feel comfortable with no makeup, good for them. 70. Another lolita is wearing the same coordinate/clothes as you!! What do you do? ”TWEEEEEEEENSSSSS” 71. What age should you stop wearing lolita? when I get tired of it. I don’t think my anagraphic age would matter. 72. When do you think you should graduate from lolita? And why? See previous answer. 73. “You should stop doing that!!! >_<” What must a lolita not do? Passive-aggressively harassing other lolitas. I mean, what are you, 12? 74. “A lolita should be ‘this’!” What do you think that should be? A person who has fun with this fashion. 75. Besides #73, is there anything you should definitely not do while wearing lolita? Anything socially unacceptable/illegal lmao. 76. What do you think of men in lolita? Same thing of women in lolita. 77. Did you change yourself to be a lolita? I try to act more feminine.

78. What does your family and other people think of you dressing lolita? And do you accept it? My mother loves it, my sister thinks it’s a weird hobby and kind of a waste of money, but she likes it overall. 79. How do you wear lolita in the boiling mid-summer? No. 80. Have you gone to school or work in lolita? Both.

81. How do you dress normally? Very genderless. 82. Do you think twice about buying second-hand clothes? I avoid buying items in very bad conditions. 83. Do you have a boyfriend? (or husband?) Does he understand lolita? No. 84. Please tell us about your ideal man. I don’t have one. 85. What lolita has left a big, shiny impression on you so far? Fanny Rosie

86. Have you made your own clothes? What are they like? No but I want to sew something soon. 87. Have you made your own accessories? What did you make? I made a bow and two straw hats. 88. Think about the best item you have made! What is it? One of the hats. It has white and lilac flowers and a gingham ribbon. 89. Please tell us about the most perfect lolita coordination you wear. I don’t really remember lol 90. Do you admire someone? What are they like? IDK 91. “One day I will go on a date with that person.” What would you like to wear for him? Not lolita.

92. If you want one, what type of store would you open in the future? A multibrand j-fashion store. 93. Something catches your eye. What is this motif? Flowers, keys, crowns, gingham, books. 94. Would you dress your child in lolita? I don’t want children. 95. How much do you spend on one outfit? 200/350 € 96. “This is lolita!!” Please say what you would say this about. Something with good quality lace and bows. 97. “I have always wanted to try that once!” What, in the lolita world, have you wanted to try wearing? Ouji! 98. Look at yourself in lolita. In one word/phrase, how would you express your style/image? Well balanced. 99. What is your lolita ideal? Having a wardrobe I’d be proud of. 100. Thank you for taking this baton!! Tell us what you think! It took me 27 years but it was fun

[fleurescent-adolescent]

i got tagged by: @ursulaundressed thankssssss :**

Gender: Female

Birthday: 16th december

Last movie seen: alien (the first one)

What do you post/reblog: tbh just things i like

Last thing you googled: marvel’s runaways

Favorite Blog: lel i have so many ppl i like on here hard to narrow it down

Dream Job: diplomat

Dream Trip: HOW COULD I DECIDE i wanna visit all them places

What would be your first entry in a new diary: idk sth related to the bf probs cuz that’s how cheesy i am

Top 3 things you love about yourself: my eyes, my empathy and my height

3 things you wish you knew how to do: be artsy, when to stop pocrastinating and how to speak perfect french (i’m struggeliiiiing)

3 qualities you like in a person: kindness, outspokenness and intelligence

3 qualities you dislike in a person: being mean, ignorance, when u break the law just for fun cuz like f u

Favorite Planet: the one i live on (but probs jupiter cuz it’s a giant gas ball i mean come on)

A resolution you make every year: spend less money

Something you’re better at than most people: business administration apparently, althogh i hate it

Something you’re worse at than most people: gymnastics

Favorite thing about tumblr: it’s distractive af

Least favorite thing about tumblr: all the drama all the time

Weapon of choice: not really into weapons but if i have to chose one probs a boomerang

Something not many people know about you: i very indecisive about everything

Favorite means of transport: trains right after rushhours when it’s really empty <3

Favorite story: define story? so favourite fairy tale would be frau holle, favourite fable would be the frog and the ox, favourite book would be siddhartha, favourite movie would be pulp fiction and favourite story to tell would be the first kiss i ever shared with the bf

Something that always makes you laugh: stupid puns

What is the strangest thing about you: maybe the fact that i can’t learn things off by heart for shit when i need to, but i can remember things i hear in passing eerily well (#auditivelearner)

You get to switch places with someone for a day, who is it and why: somebody rich cuz tbh i wonder how it is not having to worry about how you’re gonna pay your semester fees without getting a loan on top of your scholarship

[polishingopals]

1-24 >:^) ask aways

well that makes it easy to get the questions :3c

1. Tell me your version of the perfect fairy tale.

everyone lives and learns from what happened happily ever after hooray

nah jk i wrote a modern day cinderella story once that was cool

idk what this question wants from me tho

2. What are your love languages?

i think they’re like...the physical affection and quality time ones. i’m pretty sure

3. Brains, beauty or brawn?

why pick one?

4. When was the last time you did something for the first time?

lmao like...i’ll never stop doing something for the first time yknow

and this phase of my life there are a lot of firsts

for example, today i drove to a meeting and i felt ridiculously Adult Like™

5. If you could have a song play whenever you enter a room full of people, what would it be?

UM anything badass as hell?? particularly the third guitar solo in heir of grief

6. What is the quickest way to win you over?

memes, and spending quality time with me

7. Name (3) things you consider red flags in an interpersonal relationship.

- invalidation of the other person’s feelings

- not apologising for dick moves/making a halfhearted apology

- deliberately going against the other person’s wishes to get a rise out of them

(cough everything my stepmother does cough)

8. Saddle up: English or Western?

i have no idea of the difference sorry i don’t know horses...

lisa which one do you prefer i’ll pick that

9. How do you self care?

Consume McElroy Content

or like, have a bath or a shower, those work too. sometimes i just read or take a nap.

lots of ranting on twitter whenever the Anxiety Flares Up, talk to friends

10. Do you believe everything happens for a reason? Why or why not?

yeah, i guess. i mean there’s a bunch of shit in my life that i wouldn’t ever wish on anyone else, but i wouldn’t be who i am if that didn’t happen, so i mean.

11. Tell me (3) of your flaws.

- anything that looks even remotely like a pimple apparently Must Be Dealt With and so i often wreck myself before i’m able to check myself

- i seem utterly incapable of doing Anything while around parents/grandparents/anyone older than me, so i must make all phone calls on my own with no one around

- my Extreme Stigma against exercise & people knowing that i exercise (thanks, stepmother, for that)

12. Tell me (3) positive traits about yourself.

- i can apply myself to my work very well, i.e. i’m a tryhard

- i’d like to think that i try to do what i think is right, and to do right in general 

- i can find good bargains really easily

13. Tell me (5) quirky facts about yourself.

- i own and play a mandolin

- i have an ‘art piece’ that i made in year 6 of the cheshire cat that sits on top of my cupboard and is real creepy, that watches over me as i sleep

- i have a photo frame with two photos in it, the first being a photo of my cousin and i, and the second (hidden behind the first) being one of me as a newborn, where my dad has my older brother on his knee and they’re holding me

- i have a random bit of wood that was from a tree i cut down myself, and that i chopped down and smoothed using green woodworking tools like a drawhorse and lathe

- i have a small collection of cowrie shells, including a tiny one that’s white with a pink spot on it

14. Post a picture.

never said it had to be a selfie lmao

15. Have you ever been in a fist fight?

nope and i don’t really want to be

16. Tell me one of your favorite quotes.

‘what kind of pie is it, other than "now soiled by mention of harambe"’ - @cryptya

17. Inked?

?????

if this means do i have a tattoo the answer is no but maybe someday

18. Tell me one of your stress relievers.

completely distracting myself from whatever the stress is, or, if available, crying on someone’s shoulder for a while. and hug them of course.

19. Make (3) assumptions about me and I’ll tell you if they are correct.

uuuuh. 1. ur a nerd. 2. u like memes. 3. ur gay

20. Are you the type that holds it all in or let’s it all out?

idk?? i feel like i let it all out a lot of the time, especially with a lot of my rants on twitter...

21. Any pet peeves?

people leaving hair in the goddamn sink. can’t wait to have my own bathroom

22. Adventure time! Where are you headed to first?

canada and down the west coast of america to visit my friends!!!!!!!!

23. Pierced?

ears, once. don’t think i’ll get more though

24. Tell me about a bittersweet experience.

did you mean: my entire life

well i mean...i like the way i’ve turned out as a person but. i wish i knew my mum.

hearing about her is always bittersweet because i’ll never truly know her, but she sounded like such a lovely person