#idk it made sense in my head it's 4am

[hyperfixation-loto]

Jack always holds Miranda when they sleep. Never the other way around. It's not that she doesn't like being held, hell, it feels nice when they watch a movie and Miranda pulls her between her legs, letting Jack's head rest against her chest. But when they sleep, Jack needs to know she has an escape route. An escape from what? The war is over, everything is as peaceful as it can be. Still, she finds herself unable to sleep if she's the one being held, feels like she's trapped somehow and if something, someone were to intrude, she wouldn't be able to escape.

Jack never thought she would have been big on cuddling. Usually everything that involved contact with another human being boiled down either to sex or fighting. But since Miranda, her whole view shifted. Especially when she learned how touch-starved the other biotic was. Not that Miranda admitted it. Jack noticed one night, after they were both drained and sweaty, the subtle shift in Miranda, the way she slightly drew closer to Jack, the way the tip of her fingers would graze a tattooed arm. Never fully reaching, never demanding but there was an underlying expectation.

So Jack did the only thing that came to mind and pulled Miranda in her arms, enveloping her like a warm blanket, head resting in the crook of the ex-convict's neck. It was awkward at first, neither used to such affections and Jack could feel how stiff Miranda had become, almost regretting her actions until Miranda relaxed and slowly resting her hand on Jack's hip. That's when she felt something wet on her neck. Instead of saying anything, she just held Miranda more firmly against her, curling around her protectively. It felt right, somehow.

Since then, Jack made a habit of holding Miranda, outside and inside of their shared bed. Because on that fateful night, she connected the dots. All Miranda knew before the Normandy, before Oriana, before Jack, was indifference. And Miranda being Miranda, she doesn't know how to ask for anything, not that Jack is any better. But it works, because they understand each other without words, with one glance, one touch. It's enough.

It becomes a second nature, to hold Miranda. Jack feels like she's a puzzle piece and Miranda is the other part. They fit so well it's disconcerting and if this had happened back on the Normandy, Jack would have pulled away in anger and confusion, pushing away her missing piece. But she had grown. They both had. And they let themselves be swept in the current of their newfound affections.

On particularly rough nights, when Jack wakes in terror, sweating and disoriented with nightmares of her past, her barriers crumble and only then does she feel safe enough to be held without the fear of being trapped with no escape. And fuck does it feel nice to have Miranda hold Jack against her, she's so soft, the softest thing Jack's ever touched. And one day, one day she hopes her chains break just enough to be able to let Miranda hold her whenever she wants. But for now, it's enough for both of them.

[tailsmillion]

Mmm time for unhinged 4am tangent

I need to get this out somewhere i suppose

And it’s that kind of thing which you don’t really want people to see but also really want to talk about with the people you don’t want to tell

Y’know? (I don’t think that made sense)

I promise I’m not on any drugs (just very tired it’s been a long day me and my mothers relationship is on the rocks and I can’t do much about it)

Anyways

I crave

Touch

Just like in general

Is it just me or

Cus it’s great

I love hugs

I’d hold hands if I were allowed

Almost any form of touch makes me feel nice

Heck kisses are legendary (but I known ain’t gettin much of that)

Plus I get like mad goosebumps whenever my (like literally entire body outside of hands and head) are just breezed past barely in contact

The good kind of goosebumps mind you

Just from certain people though

With some it’s uncomfortable (Highly related to my relationship with them(*cough* brother *cough*))

But with certain peeps

It’s like pure bliss

Is feel nice

And though it sounds real suspicious when I say the sentence “I crave touch” I honestly can’t disagree

The moments where it feels like just you and them and you’re hugging and the sorrows drip away while dopamine floods my brain

That’s the best way to explain it

Just

Ironically enough

From whom I crave it the most

Is from whom I get the least of

But such is life

And I can’t exactly do much to change it

Cus straight up asking feels real weird (though I have on occasion been instructed to do precisely that(though I am not nearly brave enough to ask EVERY time I want to hug or cuddle or (you get the gist) but euhhg I want to so bad)

So I’m left to enjoy what I have

And I do

Quite a lot many a times

But sometimes I’m left wanting more

And that’s kinda selfish

Which is why I don’t

I guess

Idk

Feelings is hard

Imma sleep now

Or try atleast

It took me an hour and a half yesterday to fall asleep

Some stuff is just flooding my brain hole

And I don’t feel qualified to deal with it

The world sees me as a bit too adult already

And now I’m supposed to make like 5 permanently life altering decisions

Throwing away some of my beloved social activities so I can “Focus on my own growth” or something like that

Man

Life is also hard

Gnight

I’m promising myself right now to not delete this

Because eventually it’ll be nice to have a pure replication of my feelings in text

I had a bunch of those in the notes app

But then I lost phone

And now it’s an apple instead

I’m not a tech whiz

Maybe I just deleted them and forgot

[sillyflipping]

DXM 180mg hbr + weed trip report

8:10 PM: packed a bowl and smoked it. around this time, also hit the pen a few times, and a couple hits of nic vape

10:30 PM: Took 180mg DXM hbr in the form of 12 gelcaps, 15mg each. They were a generic store pharmacy brand of gelcaps, but I made sure to get the kind that contained only dxm and no other active ingredients. If you’re going to do dxm, don’t do it if there’s acetamenophin or guafinesin in whatever you’re taking because it can actually kill you, and it is not pleasant to OD on acetamenophin. Before taking the dxm I took one pill of otc dramamine to combat any nausea. The amount I took should get me to a high first plat, *maybe* a low second plat, or at least so says the dosage calculators. I’ve not done much Hbr in my past, I usually used to do freebase pills and occasionally poli (Delysm). I hadn’t done dxm in over a year now, I know it caused me a bunch of problems in my past, but for some reason lately this past week I’d just been craving it for some reason. Honestly in the past few days I’d just been fiending to get fucked up. And now, I’ve finally done it, i’ve taken my first-second plat dose and I’m waiting for it to kick in. I will try and update every hour. Also note I’ve never combined dxm and weed before, so will see if it’s any different. Also If I end up falling asleep will continue to update in the morning or whenever I wake up.

11:30 PM: Don’t notice any signifigant effects. Bit of a headache. Am lying in bed was watching some youtube videos.

12:00 AM head pounding a bit but it’s not intese pain. Just kind of a headache a bit dizzy/disoreinted bit spinny rooms spinny

12:40 AM head hurts, dizzy. This isn’t like the previous times i’ve done dxm, it’s not kickin in as hard, though to be fair I used to do freebase at higher doses and at that time I was also on abilify and lithium. Gonna try and lie down close my eyes cuz my head hurts

3am: wakw up tripping can barely type tbis. CEV’s and body heavy, dizzy visual snow room spinning. mild nausea. Feel like am on low second plat Obviously no ones awake cuz its 3am and idk

3:22 AM: I realize i mustve slept thru the peak of the trip as it’s 3am. I don’t mnow if i ever slept or if ive just been laying here in my own head my thoughts are blunted and despite the dozziness nausea and weird statitc snow visuals, it’s working to makw me not fee emotions. still tripping. hard to type

I cant belive i used to be such a dexhead that id go places like id go grocery shopping w frens back in college while off the dxm. Cant belsiwv it. This shit sucks theres way better drugs oit there this aint it

Dont really feel that cold but am shaking shivering

4am: texted a friend who was up at this hour, probably not about anytning super important. im still in the dextroverse but i think maybe im slowly comin down. There’s still visual snow and a jelly-like state about the air and atmosphere around me. I took like a 2nd plat dose and I’ll edit this trip report for more coherency and grammar once am sober

Dxm is bad trips not mentally. Mentally its pretty good but the body high is awful. Dizy and nausea spinning

4:23am: read some online calvin and hobbes comics. i never read those as a kid before but i feel like i can really understand them better somehow while trippin

4:43am: The comedown is the best part, honestly.

5AM: Still tripping, coming down. Compared to the overwhelming love and joy of a (good) mushroom trip, and compared to the depression and lonelieness i feel in my daily life, this is kinda true neutral. i feel nothing, numb. slighly optimistic tho. dont feel depressed atm. dont feel happy either.

5:40 AM: slowwwlllyyyyyy coming down. i try eating a couple spicy chips (carolina realer cheeto) to see if i can still taste, as sense of taste is often greatly diminished on dxm. The cheetos taste bland, and i feel the heat of the spice but no flavor. Sad.

6AM: less dizzy. head hurts less but still barely hurts a little bit just mildly annoying. The room stopped spinning. Am chillin on the couch, no one else awake yet

7AM: don’t think i’m still tripping, i feel a bit faded but it might be the afterglow or just general me being zooted. The sun is rising

1PM : pupils finally went back to normal size

Thoughts: Dxm fucking sucks. I felt a weird emotion that felt like how a chemical smells. Weird and numb and unable to feel anything. Awful body load. Why would you ever do dxm if you can do anything else. Nostalgia is a liar

[nyxopenjournal]

It's almost 4am and I'm still awake which means Thought Brain has turned on and I feel sappy which makes me emotional. Alternatively titled: Can't Sleep

Life is difficult and sometimes it's extremely hard to manage. I'm going through one of those. But I think I'm starting to get a tiny bit more hopeful about making it through. I don't think I'll necessarily be happy or get what I think, in this moment, I want but maybe I'll find a way to be content with what "is" instead of wishful thinking about what "isn't." I'm really trying to accept things as they are and not push further bc that always leads to me hurting. My depression fog that I've spent the last 5-6 months in is finally beginning to clear & I noticed that today. It's funny bc the thing that made me realize it is bc I guess I had been subconsciously paying attention to the way the grass grows and I'd never noticed it before. (The grass grows weird). And today I commented on it lol. I've been too preoccupied with my sadness to pay attention to anything like that. Grass growing. I'm still sad. I can't lie, most times I ignore it or it feels hollow & far away to a point where I can avoid thinking about it. But it is there. I can't do much about it at this point in time for several reasons but I'm chugging along. I'm trying to accept that others' happiness doesn't have to include me. And accept that that's okay. I might not be a lifelong person. I don't know anything about the future and not knowing how things will turn out is the bane of my existence bc my brain plays "what ifs" like they're game show topics for a prize. The prize is usually I end up depressed bc of my own train of thought. Trying to learn how to balance distance with care. What's the right amount of energy to give to a topic? How to be less "all or nothing" about everything. There has to be a balance or I'm gonna just make myself suffer for the rest of my existence and quite frankly, I've suffered enough. I'm tired of it. There are things I wish for that I've convinced myself are impossible. It's too late. Missed opportunities and such. That's been playing on repeat in my head. There are a lot of things that I'm told or I see that don't make sense to me and how I perceive the world, but I've also become the person who is so scared to ask questions. I didn't used to be like this. I'd question everyone and everything until it made sense to me. Now nothing makes sense and I'm always confused and I'm scared to ask. What sense does it make? It doesn't. But. It's where I am right now. I didn't used to be afraid about how big my thoughts were or how much I had to say or how many tangents I went on about a topic, but now I'm scared to say more than a couple words in fear of being annoying or convincing myself whoever I'm talking to doesn't care. So now it's just simple, dulled down thoughts. Which is unfair to myself honestly bc it's not like I've suddenly begun to have less complex thoughts and questions and feelings. I've just suddenly become overly terrified of sharing them so they roll around in my head until I have a breakdown. Outlets are nice. It would be nice to have a person to talk to but it's my own fault that I'm here right now. No one else's. I have to accept that. Maybe the part of my brain telling me I'm just not good for people and will inevitably fail at any platonic or romantic relationship is right and I should give up trying to pursue either. But I also still crave it so what do I do with that? It's not like I get it either way. I'm too scared to talk to people. It's been this way my whole life. I wish I didn't crave it. I didn't used to. But the older I get the more I do. Idk what to do with that. It's just where I am right now. I doubt it'll change. It's not like anyone is looking my way. I'm just floating around on a rock till I die. Epic.

[ravenousgoblin]

OH OH OH

Guess who had a breakdown because someone admitted they found them attractive?

So, Loverboy and I quite literally were having on and off sex. We were fwb. Literally. So today, he and I were talking and he casually just said “you’ve been very tempting lately” like !!!!! He cut off the benefits to work on himself but he’s still in my life and I know he has a high sex drive, we’ve talked about that. And I have such low self esteem I have such a hard time believing anyone finds me attractive, ESPECIALLY the ones I find attractive because of the constant “you’re ugly” “you stink” “you’re gross” I got when growing up…But this man, who I had slept with and kissed and groped and loved on so many times…told me he’s been tempted lately. Btw, his family was very religious growing up, his father was a fucking priest, so him saying it like that was very funny to me, even tho he’s not religious anymore.

Anyways. Because I’ve been so depressed the past few months, even more so since the cut off with Loverboy, him saying this to me broke me. I started crying and sobbing and I had to sit on the floor in a ball and try to handle it. And he told me that I deserve love and happiness and I’m enough and I’m worth it and told me I’m adorable and pretty and beautiful and it was so painful. Like

Hearing that from someone you’ve never been with but find attractive is flattering. Someone you are with is nice :) it’s a good reassurance. But someone you’ve been with and are no longer with but are still down bad for??? OOF . Devastating. Like the depression and the fact that we’re no longer fwb, we’re just friends, was not going to hear it. I was so violently upset and insecure even tho what broke me was him TELLING ME HE FINDS ME ATTRACTIVE AND HAS WANTED TO GO BACK TO THAT LATELY. Like it doesn’t even make sense why that triggered something???? It’s contradictory tbh.

And we almost hung out later but my head hurt from all the crying and it had made me tired physically and mentally(yet here I am, 4am, awake) that I couldn’t. He then texted me a little later and said he appreciate the short time we did hang out. And I apologized for not staying longer but bc the breakdown n stuff. And he told me he accepts me and values me and of course my stupid brain was like idk why I’m a mess and he was like “even if you are a ‘mess’” like he said he still values me. And of course I told him I value and accept him too and he said almost the same thing, like “idk why but thanks”

Whyyyyyy are these emotions happening to meeeeee

[neurodivenport]

this turned out to be wayyy more than a drabble </3 its also 4am when im writing this (gonna add it to my queue, idk when itll post) and im sleepy so its sloppy and not suuuper great but. the brainrot is real.

smutfic below the cut!

“You two look cozy.”

Kaz tosses a blanket your way, snickering as Chase grabs at it and immediately drapes it over the both of you. You do nothing but hum in response, cuddling yourself closer into your boyfriend’s side.

Kaz had suggested weekly movie nights, insisting it’s good for ‘team building’. You know it was just his excuse to plaster whatever action movie he’s interested in this week on Davenport’s fancy TV, but the promise of a snack platter is enough to dwindle whatever care you had.

The movie starts as Skylar finally settles in, tossing herself over the bean bag across from the couch.

Chase’s arm slithers around your waist, bringing you in closer to his side. His fingers trace along the exposed skin of your stomach, clearly with intent to fluster you, his touch so light it's barely even there.

He’s been playing this game all day. Doing nothing but teasing you, taking every opportunity to leave you hot and bothered. He’s left open mouthed kisses on your neck and left you high and dry, pressed himself against your back as he did nothing but scootch past you, place his hands further up your thigh than he needed to, had the audacity to leave his hand heavy pressed on your inner thigh, made sly comments about you being good for him just to smile at the way your face heated up.

You can practically hear his thoughts, sensing the grin on his face as his hands keep wandering over your side and down your leg. You’re tired of him thinking he can get away with this without consequence. Thinking he’s the only one who can play dirty.

With an idea in your head, you glance around the room, making sure everyone is too immersed in the movie to see what you’re about to do.

You start off with a hand on his knee, before leading it up his thigh. You smile as you feel him tense underneath you.

You adjust the blanket, your hand stopping as it reaches his upper thigh, right below where he wants it.

“What are you doing?” Chase whispers, leaning his head towards you.

“You can dish it out but you can’t take it?” Your hand reaches his crotch, trying not to giggle at the way he hisses. The hand on your waist forms a tight grip when you start applying pressure.

He lets out a grunt, thankfully muffled by the sound of exaggerated fighting from the TV. You palm him over his jeans, already finding him hard underneath the layers.

“Baby,” Chase mumbles, grabbing onto your arm.

“Ssh,” You shush him, “Watch the movie.”

Your hand continues its ministrations, pressing down harder to work over his cock. He has to suck in his lips to avoid making any noise, legs squirming underneath the blanket as his grip on you gets tighter.

“Besides,” You say, slowly unbuttoning the top of his jeans, “I thought you said you liked the idea of getting caught.”

Chase can’t even find it in himself to protest when you pull his zipper down, the heat that once covered his face now fully migrated to his dick. He has to stop himself from whining when he watches you subtly spit into your hand, bringing it back down to wrap around his length.

You work him up and down, slowly starting to jerk him off. The blanket is big and fluffy enough to disguise your movements, still draped over the both of you.

“Shit,” Chase sputters when your movements quicken, practically whining as he tries desperately to keep quiet. He buries his face into your hair, biting down on his bottom lip, pretending like he’s doing nothing but cuddling closer.

You can tell he’s getting close by the way he throbs in your hand. His thighs completely tense, panting heavily against your hair, trying hard to keep his eyes completely open.

Right as you feel him about to fall off of that cliff- you stop.

He practically whimpers when you stop your movements, removing your hand completely from him. His mouth is agape in shock as you tuck him back into his pants.

“Watch the movie.” You state simply. “You’re barely paying attention.”

EF era and the teams all sitting together watching a movie. Chase and his s/o are sitting under a blanket together on the couch. He's been teasing them all day, so they decide enough is enough, and give him a punishment by reaching under the blankets and palming him through his jeans

the urge to write a drabble based on this.

[2qts]

Oh okay thats why. Good. Gotcha. Honestly... im fine with this

[luvrlixie]

KILLING ME SOFTLY

【REQUESTED】 - OKAY OKAY SJDBJSISH I WAS GONNA REQUEST A SKZ SEEING YOU IN THEIR CLOTHES OR SOMETHING BUT THEN I STARTED THINKING ABOUT BINNIE SEEING YOU IN SHORT SHORTS AND HIS SHIRT WHICH IS LIKE HUGE ON YOU (ALSO THIS MAN IS DEF A THIGH GUY) AND MY MAN GOES F E R A L. SO. YOU LET HIM RIDE YOUR THIGH <33333

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tags: changbin x gn! reader, soft dom reader, thigh riding/dry humping, very soft, exhibitionism????????? idk they aren't alone in the dorm but no one walks in. not a lot of smut sorry y'all </3 mostly just sappy emotions.. but still nsfw... lit rally wrote at 4am and don't feel like editing lmaoo

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"seriously binnie! if you're gonna spend so much money on clothes, you should at least wear them. you have so many cute sweaters and the fact that they're collecting dust in the back of your closet is a crime."

changbin sat up and peered over the back of the couch as you entered the room. he was ready to shoot back a snarky comment but his words died on his tongue as soon as he saw you.

you stopped by the studio to visit him earlier, where he and the rest of 3racha were working on a track for the next album. you hadn't planned on staying long since you knew your boyfriend would be busy. but about 20 minutes after showing up chan was ushering everyone else out of the room, claiming that he had everything he needed from the other boys for now and that they both deserved a night off. any worries you or changbin might have had about chan overworking himself were immediately replaced by the realization that the two of you would finally have some time alone.

and that brought you to where you were now. standing in front of a blushing boy, wearing shorts and a long shirt of his that completely hid said shorts. you had decided to change after your boyfriend proposed that you spend the night. (at the time he was excited for movies and cuddles, but now it was an offer that he was starting to regret as he could already feel himself growing hard). the shirt you wore was one that changbin never put on due to it's size, he didn't think the whole oversized clothes style was really his thing.

but holy fuck it was yours.

"you uh- you look good."

changbin swallowed and you squinted. he was always a sucker for you wearing his clothes, but it was still odd for him to be turning so red just from seeing you in an shirt of his. luckily it didn't take long for you to notice the way his eyes wouldn't meet yours since they were focused on a different part of your body. you couldn't help but let out a little giggle. seeing you in his clothes might make him weak, but his biggest weakness was your thighs. he'd never exactly talked about your thighs in particular, but it was something that you had picked up on as your relationship progressed. you couldn't help but notice how changbin was always making sure to leave little marks on the inside of your thighs, and would jump at the chance to lay between them when he got sleepy, and how he would often pull out just in time to paint your thighs with his cum.

"like what you see?" you asked playfully as you took a few steps forward so you were standing in front of him.

"like what i- fuck yes... you're gonna be the death of me y/n."

you hummed in amusement, loving the affected you had on your boyfriend, and tangled a hand in his hair so you could guide him forward and let him press kisses on your thighs.

"mm seriously, on my gravestone it's gonna say your name after cause of death" changbin breathed out as he happily trailed his lips over your skin.

"that makes it sound like I murdered you, I'm not a fan of that"

you stood there for a few more minutes. finally moving away once you sensed that changbin was growing impatient. although you loved making your boyfriend beg, now was not that time for that. even though you moved to sit down next to him, changbin whined when you stepped away. knowing you, the poor boy was worried that you were gonna make him suffer through the whole movie with a boner. however, you had much different plans in mind for tonight.

with a smile, you slid a hand between his legs. "such a pretty noise, that little whine. wanna make it again for me?"

changbin's mouth went dry, he opened it to say something but nothing would come out. how were you always able to make him speechless? he did want to make that noise for you again. he wanted you to coo over how cute he sounded, but not here. not in the living room with minho still tucked away in his room, and with hyunjin and seungmin who were expected back at any minute.

"please, please let's go to my room. I need you."

you shook your head and started palming at chnagbin's crotch through his sweatpants, making his body go slack. "shh baby it's okay, calm down. I was just gonna let you grind against my thigh, let you get off like that. we'll be fully clothed so if anyone walks in it'll be pretty easy to play it off as cuddling or a makeout session."

that seemed to be all the reassurance that changbin needed. the way you were touching him paired with your soft voice was making his head spin. all he was focused on now was making you happy and chasing his orgasm. not even a second went by until he was moving onto your lap so he was facing you and straddling one of your legs.

"there you go! good boy."

you helped him settle into a comfortable position and pulled him close so his chest was pressed against yours and his face was buried in your neck. as changbin started to move his hips, you continued whispering words of encouragement and gentle praises since you could feel how tense he had gotten. changbin hadn't exactly done this before. and although the whole thing seemed rather self explanatory and he had gotten off by rutting against a pillow multiple times, he felt a bit self conscious with you watching his every move.

"It's okay bunny, there's no right or wrong way to do this. just whatever feels good." you whispered soothingly into his ear, catching the nervous look in his eyes and the way his movements kept faltering.

it was silly of him to be nervous, he realized. the safest he had ever felt was with you, and over the course of your relationship you had both tried out plenty of new things together (both in and out of the bedroom). thigh riding? this was nothing, you had certainly seen him in much more embarassing situations. so changbin nodded and finally started settling into a steady pace, trusting your words entirely.

every drag of his cock elicited a soft ah sound from the dark haired boy. luckily, you didn't have to worry about him being too loud. he was vocal and made plenty of noise, but always quiet whimpers and soft choruses of "oh"s. you could get him to be loud if you wanted to, you knew how. for now the tiny noises he was making was more than enough to satisfy you as you played with his hair and peppered his forehead with kisses. "there you go bun, bet it feels so good huh?" as you spoke you pressed your leg upwards, applying extra pressure to the whimpering boy's cock. the gasp he let out made your eyes widen in entertainment and you repeated the action, taking pleasure in how he squirmed everytime. "keep going little slut, don't slow down. doesn't my bunny wanna make a pretty mess for me?"

"m-more'" changbin panted.

normally you'd chastise him for not saying please. but right now you honestly couldn't care less. you just wanted your boyfriend to feel loved. wanted him to be as proud of himself as you are of him. so you smiled and pressed your leg up again, hands gripping onto his hips so that you can help guide his movements. "that song you were working on when I visited sounded so good. I know you've been working so hard on it. you're so talented baby, so amazing." changbin let out a sort of strangled noise and tightened his arms around you, pulling himself as close to you as he could get. the absence of words didn't bother you. sometimes changbin babbled on and on while you ruined him, telling you how good he felt and how much he loved you. while other times he just clings onto you, settling on a variety of whines to communicate. both were good.

as the familiar tightness grew in changbin's body, he focused on following the push and pull of your arms. if it wasn't for you guiding him he would have entirely lost his rhythm. knowing that your boyfriend was getting close, you started bouncing your leg and kneading his ass with one hand.

"changbin.. binnie, hey. c'mon let me see your face" you softly prodded, waiting for him to pull back. when he did, your heart squeezed in your chest.

he was so beautiful.

his lips were parted and his bottom lip was glossy and red from biting down on it too hard. his hair was sticking out in a few places, and his eyes were so full of pleasure. you could tell from the glassy look that changbin wasn't entirely present, his thoughts were elsewhere.

"m'gonna..." changbin slurred, hips twitching and back arching. you caught on immediately and softly grabbed his chin to make sure he didn't hide his face again, you always loved to see his face screw up as he comes. this time was no different.

"good boy, good boy let it all out for me"

you helped him ride out his orgasm and leaned forward to kiss him. not even caring that the kiss was messy and mostly just teeth since changbin was panting far too heavily to give you a proper kiss. when changbin's orgasm had finished washing through his body, you let him crash back into your chest. as you waited for him to catch his breath you rubbed his back and buried your face in his hair, giving him time to compose himself before talking.

"I love you binnie"

"..love you too y/n ... but seriously you're way too hot ... gonna die from sexiness overload"

[kingkatsuki]

Ight I found it...It's an anal shower scene I guess? Idk I'll let you decide I honestly don't know what this is. I apologise in advance for my 4am self Jo

He smirked and grabbed your hips before pushing in slowly, letting out a loud groan as he did. “O-oh fuck~” you moaned loudly at the new sensation of him stretching out your ass. “K-Katsuki~” you moaned looking back at him. He started to thrust into you, gripping your hips hardly for support. "You feel so good. Holy fuck~" Bakugo groaned out. You moaned loudly trying to hold on to the wall of the shower and not slip. “Kat~ Su~ Ki~” you moaned loudly arching your back. "Oh (Y/N)~" he moaned out as he started to go faster and harder. “Katsuki~ I love you~” youmoaned louder as he went faster. Bakugo leaned over, wrapping one of his arms around your waist, and pulled her back against his chest. "I love you too, (Y/N)," He says into your ear as he continued to thrust into her. You reached her hand back and held his waist tightly scratching it a bit trying to focus a bit. "K-Katsuki~ F-Fuck~" you moaned arching against his chest. He let out a groan as he felt scratching your were leaving on hiswaist. "Fuck~" He groaned as he started to go faster. He moved his hand up and grabbed one of your breasts, squeezing it while he thrusted. "K-Katsuki~" youmoaned louder scratching his waist more, and moving one hand to the side of his head. "S-Sorry for a-all the scratching," you said loudly trying not moan as you apologized. "Don't you dare apologize…" Bakugo said into your ear, then smirked. "I like it…" he growled and started to go harder and rougher. He let out a few moans and groans as he thrusts, squeezing your nips even more. He then leaned down and started to lick around your shoulder and neck before letting his teeth graze your neck skin. "Katsuki~ Katsuki~ O-oh fuck!~" you moaned his name repeatedly, tugging on his hair and scratching his waist more. "F-Fuck I-I'm getting c-close~" you moaned not wanting to sum without him. He started to go faster, his thrusts getting a little sloppy. "So am I… Holy fuck, (Y/N)~" He moaned out, being from the tugging on and scratching him "I'm gonna cum. Cum with me…" Bakugo whispered in yourear as he licked underneath, holding himself back until you is ready to finish. "K-Katsuki~ I-I can't hold it~" you moaned after he said 'cumwith me.' As he feels youfinishing, he lets out a loud moan, cumming quickly aftre. The scratching and tugging, it really got him going. "Fuck. You're so good," Bakugo mumbled against your skin as he kissed your should before pulling out. "Katsuki~" you moaned as he pulled out taking your hand off of him and placing them on the wall in front of you to keep your balance. "Fuck Katsuki I don't think I'll be able to sit down of a while," you said half-jokingly through your pants. As Bakugo took the condom off, tossing it into the garbage can outside of the shower, he smirked wide when he heard that. Somehow, that made him very pleased with himself. "Oh? Was I that good?" Bakugo asked casually, a cocky grin on his face. "No you weren't that good," you said blushing as turning around to lean on the wall and looked at him. "You were amazing, your always amazing my hero~," you said smiling at him, not minding if you was feeding his ego.

I don't even know Jo, I thought about fixing the spelling error and making it make sense but idk it felt more ~authentic~ this way.

-😏

It looks like you’ve got a good little thirst post here🤭I love cocky Bakugou ahhh!💕

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

I've been having the problem of my apartment not feeling like home for awhile, even though I moved here in February. I've googled endless articles on how to make a new place feel like home, but no matter how hard I tried, it still just felt like the place I slept and stored my stuff.

But today I did some cleaning, actual cleaning. My rug (the rug really helped too actually. It's dark blue with planets on it, and super soft) is clear, my table is much clearer, and I finally unpacked every box from the move (I found so much shit I thought I'd lost).

It's still messy. My sink is full of dishes, the top of my dresser is cluttered, but all of a sudden it really feels like home. Lived in, cozy, home. I don't know why an hour of tidying changed the problem I've had for eight months, but it did, and here I am. Feeling at home for the first time in... Years.

Manically cleaning my apartment at 11pm. I hate now that I'm an adult it's cleaning my apartment and not just my room. I wish I was young and only had to manically clean my room. Then again, it's nice to have a whole apartment to myself, even if it means I have to manically clean all of it.

[libraryofloveletters]

Ok request: how about Spencer and reader in relationship, but he ends up meeting Maeve and reader is devestated when she(or GN) finds out obvs, but finds comfort in... Hotch?? And somehow that makes more sense to everyone like they partner up a lot and are close?? Idk something along those lines 🥺

Mended Hearts 

Spencer Reid x Reader, Aaron Hotchner x Reader 

Warnings: cheating, mild arguing, a kiss or two 

Category: mix of angst and fluff. 

Word Count: 3.5k

Author’s Note: I know Spencer and Maeve didn’t email but for the purpose of this, they did. Also, reader is friends with Matt and Kristy before Matt joined the BAU, just go with it :)

-----

Spencer’s been distant lately, more than usual. He seemed happier too and it couldn’t be from you because he barely spoke to you now. Your mind wandered to the most hurtful conclusion, he’s cheating. 

Something about it felt wrong, it hurt you but if he was, you wanted to know. You turned to the one person you knew could help you, Penelope. You knocked on her door before she called out to come in. “Office of supreme knowledge, how can I be of service ?” she spun her chair around to see you with a pout on your face. 

“Oh sugar plum, what’s wrong?” she pulled you into a hug, your head resting on her shoulder. 

“I think Spencer’s cheating” you admit to her, she looked at you, she couldn't help but let out a giggle. 

“Boy wonder ? Cheating ? No, I don’t think so. He was about to combust when he asked you out, how could he manage having two relationships ?” 

“Pen, I'm serious. Haven’t you noticed him lately ? Happier ? It’s not me that’s putting the smile on his face” 

The smile dropped from Penelope’s face, she looked sad. Sad for you, sad for Spencer, sad for herself because she never thought Spencer was capable of those things. 

“What can I do love?” 

“Can you check for me? Find out if he is?” 

“Are you sure you want to know ? There’s no going back after this.” Penelope said to you as she sat in her chair, turning to face her monitor. 

Letting out a shaky breath, you nodded. “yeah, I want- need to know” 

“I'll find you later sugar, you should get back before they start to wonder” She gave you a smile as you left her office. You stepped back into the bullpen and made your way to your desk, Spencer stopped by your desk as he headed to Hotch’s office. 

“Hey” he smiled at you, you could feel your heart hurting already. 

“Hi Spence” you smiled back. 

“Almost done ? I can take them up to Hotch” he glanced at the files on your desk, you shook your head. 

“It’s alright, I've still got some more to do” 

“Okay, where were you ?” 

“You’re awfully nosy today Dr. Reid” 

Spencer chuckled, “Sorry” 

“It’s okay. I went to the bathroom and ran down to the IRT to see Kristy, she came to visit Matt” 

Spencer nodded and kissed the top of your head as he left. You watched as he walked up to Hotch’s office. Something felt off, even if he wasn’t cheating then he was definitely up to something. The pen tapped against the desk, your eyes glued to Spencer and Hotch in his office. 

They were two opposing personalities. 

Spencer was shy and quiet, liked to spend his time buried in books and ramble his way through a conversation and you loved that about him, but Aaron, there was just something about him. Aaron was bold, he was born to be a leader. Someone who didn't shy away from trouble, not that Spencer did but Aaron would let himself take the heat of the trouble over any of you. He made sure he was the one bearing the burden so none of you would have too and you admired that about him, you always have. 

A chime coming from your computer pulled your focus from the two men. 

From Penelope Garica: my office, 10 minutes babydoll. 

Penelope’s messages always brought a smile to your face but not today. Today was much different. She said she would call you if she found something and she did. Your heart sank in your chest when it popped up on your screen. Spencer was coming back into the bullpen as you were getting up. 

“Ready to head home ?” 

“Oh no, you go ahead. I have to go over something with Penelope and i’ll be home in a little” 

“You sure? I can wait if you like” 

“It’s fine Spencer. I’ll see you at home” 

You left him standing in the bullpen and headed to Penelope’s office. She spun her chair around when she heard the door shut. “Baby..” she started, her screens covered in emails between Spencer and a woman named Maeve. 

“I want to see you” 

“Hold your hand and walk together, no one would be able to stop us” 

“The sun to my moon, Spencer Reid. That’s what you are” 

“I love you.” 

Your eyes clung to that last line. 

“I love you.”

The same words he hadn't said to you in weeks. The words that used to mean everything to you now meant nothing. 

“Who is she?” 

“Maeve Donovan. She’s a geneticist, in her late 20s. There isn't much about her out there hun, I'm sorry.” Penelope gave your hand a squeeze. 

“How long?” 

“Beginning of last year. They exchanged numbers.” 

“His work number ?” 

“Personal” 

You nodded and let out a sigh. There was a weird sense of relief, like a weight lifted off your chest because you knew, you didn’t have to wonder if he was cheating. 

You knew he was. 

“Thank you Penelope” you kissed her cheek, she smiled at you. “I’m here if you need anything else. Call me whenever sweetie” 

Rushing back into the bullpen, you grabbed your car, Aaron was stepping out of his office as you hurried to the doors. “L/n! your reports?” “my desk Hotch!” you shouted back before running to catch the elevator. 

There was a rush, unlike anything you’ve felt before. You knew you couldn't stay with Spencer, especially when he was in love with Maeve, whoever she might be. It didn't make it any less painful, but it was what was best for you and you were all that matter because clearly Spencer didn’t feel the same way. 

Approaching the apartment, you could hear Spencer’s loud laugh from the other side of the door. When your key clicked in the lock, he whispered a goodbye to whoever he was speaking to. Spencer smiled at you when you walked in. 

“Sorry, did I interrupt your conversation ?” you asked, he shook his head. 

“No, it’s alright.” 

“Who was it ?” 

“Just a friend.” 

Just a friend, my ass. you knew it had to be Maeve, who would make him laugh like that? 

“oh your new friend Maeve?” 

Spencer’s smile dropped, he looked as if he saw a ghost. 

“Sorry should I have said your girlfriend Maeve ?” 

“How did you-” “so you are cheating on me? Let’s just make that clear” 

Spencer was at a loss for words and that’s something you don’t ever see. You headed to the bedroom to pack up your clothes. “Where are you going ?” Spencer followed you to the room, he watched you put the clothes in the bag. “I don't know, I’m not going to stay here” 

Spencer grabbed your hand, you pulled away from him. “Maeve and I.. we’re- we’re just friends” 

“Tell me you don't love her Spencer.” you stopped and looked at him. “Can you tell me that you don’t love her? That you love me instead?” 

“I do love you, y/n” 

“But you love Maeve more ?” 

“Y/n, please. Let me explain what happened” Spencer begging you. 

“Spencer stop, please. I don't want to hear it. I know you love me but you can’t love us both. Maeve makes you happy, and you deserve to be happy, even if it’s not with me” your voice wavered for a moment, you closed the bag. 

“It’s over Spencer” 

“No it can't be done, not like this” 

“Then what Spencer ? You want me to cheat on you too ? For a whole year nonetheless and then lie to your face ? Would that be okay ? Because That’s fair, right? You broke my heart and I break yours. Life isn’t fair Spencer, you of all people know that.” 

Spencer followed your steps to the door. “You can’t go” he sighed, “Watch me” you stepped out of the apartment and left as fast as you could. 

You drove around aimlessly for an hour, stopping in a parking lot to figure out where to stay for the night. Dave had a date, Emily had a sin-to-win weekend, Derek was working on house renovations all weekend so you didn’t want to disturb any of them. You thought of calling Penelope but you knew she’d already bed in bed and she deserves her rest. JJ had a full house, you could stay with Matt but he already has two kids and two more on the way, you’re sure they wouldn’t mind but you couldn't do that to them. By default, you ended back in the F.B.I parking lot. 

You took the back stairs up to the BAU. The bullpen was empty and only the desk lights were on. Tossing your bag on the door by your desk, you spotted your reports still on your desk. Figuring you'd take them up to Hotch’s office and he’d have them for the morning, you picked them up. 

Up the stairs and you pushed the door open, Aaron sat at his desk. A mug in one hand and a pen in the other. The two of you looking at each other like deer in headlights. “What are you doing here?” you both say at the same time, making you smile. 

“Um I forgot something” you stood by the door. Aaron glanced at his watch, “y/n, it’s 2:20 in the morning, what did you forget that was so important ?” 

“my chapstick” you lied, Aaron hummed.

He didn't believe you. 

“The truth, agent l/n ?” he asked, his eyes on his papers. You let out a sigh, do you come up with another lie or do you pour your heart out to your boss ? Aaron glanced up at you, waiting on an answer. 

“Spencer cheated on me and I found out. I ended it with him and I didn't know where to go so I'm here” 

Second one it is then. 

“Sit down” was all Aaron said to you. Making your way to the couch in his office, you quietly sat down and waited for Aaron to say something to you. 

An hour had passed and you made yourself comfortable on the couch as you watched Aaron do his work. Your shoes were on the floor and you curled into the side of the couch. You had dozed off at one point, only to be awoken by Aaron putting a blanket over you after coming back with another cup of coffee. The clock chimed as it hit 4am, Aaron finally shut the file he was working on and looked over at you. 

“Y/n” 

“Sir” 

“It’s just us, you can call me Aaron you know” he made his way over to you on the couch. 

“Don’t you want to get home to Jack ? You could probably be there for when he wakes up” you looked over the man that was sitting beside you.

 His hair was ruffled from his fingers running through it, his jacket and tie hung on the back of his chair and his sleeves were rolled up. His shoes seemed to be somewhere in his office, he shifted on the couch, bringing up a leg on the couch, his sock clad foot hanging off. 

“Jack’s at a friend’s house tonight. What happened with Spencer ? If you don’t mind me asking of course” Aaron leaned into the side of the couch, you let out a sigh. “That bad huh ?” Aaron joked, making you smile. 

“Well, he had been distant lately but he seemed happy and I knew it couldn't be me making him happy. I had Penelope do some digging for me, you know, just in case he was” you said, Aaron gave you a look when you mentioned Penelope. You put your hands up defensively, “come on Aaron, it’s only fair. You know he probably would have done the same.” Aaron nodded, waiting for you to continue. 

“Penny found a bunch of emails between him and some woman named Maeve from last year to now. I asked him if he was cheated and he didn’t deny it so I left. I wasn’t sure where to go and I ended up here” 

Aaron just looked at you. He too, was at a loss of words. 

“I can transfer him” Aaron said, you shook your head. 

“Thank you but that won't be necessary. Spencer made his choice. He can continue to work with me without issue, like he did when he was lying to me” you leaned against the backrest of the couch. Aaron smiled at you. 

“You’re always been a tough one y/n. I admire you for that” his hand reached out for yours. You smiled at him, your hand in his, Aaron’s hand fit in yours like you were made for each other. Your side pressed into the couch, your eyes felt heavy. 

“Hey, come here” Aaron stretches out his arms, you look at him, unsure if you should go. “It’s okay, I don’t bite” he chuckled. Shifting on the couch, your back rested against Aaron’s chest, his arm wrapped around you. 

“Comfortable ?” 

“mhm hm” 

--

“Be quiet” Penelope whispered to Emily who was taking pictures. Spencer and Derek walked in to see them standing by Hotch’s office door. “What’s going on?” Derek asked, jogging up the stairs and Spencer followed him. 

Derek and Spencer both halted when they saw what was in front of them. Hotch was laid on the couch and you were on top of him, your head on his chest and his arm resting on your back. 

Derek looked over at Spencer, Spencer’s eyes glued to his boss and his ex cuddled up on the couch together. Derek grabbed Spencer’s arm and dragged him over to the other side of the door. 

“Okay what the hell is that Reid ?” 

“Uh I um-I don't know” 

“Stop bullshitting Spencer, you know everything. Now why is y/n cuddled up with Hotch right now?” 

“Derek I-” 

“God, just spit it out Spencer!” 

“I cheated” 

Derek looked at Spencer, his eyes wide and he was in shock. Did he mishear him ? Was this a dream ? 

“You did what ?”

“I met this woman, Maeve and she’s amazing and she makes me so happy... happier than y/n did” Spencer whispered that last part. Derek didn't say anything, he was still trying to process what Spencer had just said. 

“How could you ?” Derek asked him, Spencer’s heart dropped. His best friend was disappointed in him. “They did nothing but love and support you and this is what you do ? you cheat on them ? I never expected this. I care about both of you but I can’t believe you right now.” Derek left Spencer standing in the hallway. 

“Babygirl should someone wake them ? We have a case” Derek’s arm wrapped around Penelope’s shoulder, her arm around his waist. Before Penelope could answer, Hotch’s phone rang. The ringer woke the both of you, you sat up as did Hotch. You rubbed your eyes, you saw Derek, Penelope, Emily and Spencer at the door. Hotch went over to get his phone, he didn't notice the company you had. 

“Y/n, we’ve got a case” he turns to you, your eyes on the door. Hotch followed your eyes to the door, now seeing the group of agents at the door. “Good morning everyone, we have a case. Wheels up in 30, we’ll brief quickly and then get on the jet.” Aaron walked over to the door and shut it. 

You watched everyone walk down into the bullpen from the window before turning to Aaron. “I think we should talk” you say quietly, “about ?” he begins unbuttoning his shirt. 

“What are you doing ?” your eyes wide, confused as to why your boss was undressing in front of you. “Changing my shirt” he pulls on out of the drawer. “Hm anyways, I’m pretty sure they’re all wondering why I was asleep with you when I'm still with spenc- oh shit, I'm not with Spencer” 

“Are you going to tell them ?” Aaron asks you while tucking his shirt into his pants. You nodded as you walked over to him, you pulled up the collar of his shirt, you tied his tie and rested your hands on his chest after fixing the collar. 

“Yeah I am” you leaned up slightly and gave Aaron a kiss, he smiled against your lips and kissed you. 

“Let’s go” you walked out of the office, Aaron followed you to the briefing room. “Goodmorning, are we ready to start ?” Aaron asked as the two of you settled in. “Okay I have to ask” Emily started, “What the hell was that ? You’re sleeping with Hotch ? wWhat about Spencer ?” Emily turned to you. You shook your head and looked over at Spencer, his head hung low. 

“Spencer cheated on me, I didn’t know where to go, I ended up here and I hung out with Hotch last night. That’s all. Now can we get back to work ?” 

The room went quiet, you could feel the tension building in the room, the eyes shifting in the room from you to Spencer to Aaron. 

“The sunshine state requires your presence, my crime fighting darlings!” Penelope started, pulling the attention away from you guys. 

--

The flight home from the case was quiet, everyone had gotten over the cheating fiasco, Spencer sat on the couch at one end of the jet and you sat at the other end across from Hotch. He was working on some paperwork and you were reading a book, everyone else was asleep. 

“I'm going to get some tea, would you like some ?” you put the book down and stood up, “maybe some coffee?” he mumbled and you nodded, “I'll be back” you walked down the jet to the coffee machine. You could feel Spencer’s eyes on you as you walked past. You walked back towards Spencer and sat beside him on the couch. 

He closed the door that was in his hands and rested in on his lap. “Hi” he whispered, “hi” you whispered back. 

“Can we talk?” you asked him, he nodded. 

“Why’d you do it? I’m not upset, I just- I need to know” 

“Would you believe me if I said I never meant to ? She was helping me with my headaches and we began talking. I didn’t realize how much I enjoyed her company until it was too late” 

You just let out a hum, you didn't even think his answer was worth a response.

“Y/n, I promise you,” he reached for your hands, you watched him but didn't move, “I never meant to hurt you, I will always care about you and I'm sorry. I really am.” he said to you. Spencer seems genuine but you weren't quite ready to forgive him. 

“I don't forgive you. I don't know if I can but.. I appreciate it. Can I ask you something else ?” 

“Anything” 

“Did she know?” you look at him, his eyes on you. 

“About ?” 

“Us, did she know you were in a relationship?” Spencer paused for a moment, he nodded. “She did” he said and you chuckled, “some girl you got there Spencer” you stood up.

 “I’ll be by on Saturday for my stuff, I'll be there from around 9 or 10 until 5 so can you leave during that time ?” 

“Uh sure, that's fine” 

You left Spencer on the couch and you went to make the coffee. You returned to Aaron a few minutes later with a mug. Sitting beside him this time, your head rested on his shoulder, “thank you” he smiled, you nodded, “of course” 

“Who were you talking to just now ?” 

“Spencer” 

Aaron put down the pen and turned to you. “What ?” “I just needed to know Aaron” you sighed. 

“What did he say ? Just remember I can still transfer him” Aaron smiled at you, his comment made you laugh. “He said he didn’t realize they were so into each other until it was too late” Aaron face twisted into a weird expression, “oh okay then” 

“mhm hm” 

“What are you going to do now ? You have to get the rest of your things, right ?” Aaron looked down at you. Shifting, your head now resting on his lap, his fingers running through your hair. “I do, I'm going over on Saturday” you mumbled, eyes fluttering shut. 

“Do you have somewhere to stay ?” he asks you, his eyes on you. “I was thinking of staying with you if that’s okay ?” your eyes were still closed and you couldn’t see him but Aaron had a smile on his face.

“Yeah, I'd like that” he leaned down and kissed your forehead. 

---

taglist: @mac99martin @aaron-hotchner187 @tclaerh @luke-alvez @iconicc @lieberhers @pumpkin-reads @katexrichardson @sluttytears @thelukealvez @scandinavian-punk @laurenxreynolds @haleymalaffey @shotarosleftpinky @mrs-dr-reid @hqtchner @averyhotchner @willlemonheadsupremacy @ssa-autumn-hotchner @potter-reid

[iamanartichoke]

Well that didn’t last fucking long, lmao. I hate myself. 

I can’t help it - I’m really flailing about the latest tv spot - namely, The Scene. I made a very rash post (at 4am) shaming people who found it hot bc naked Tom, and it’s distressing me so much bc I do not make a habit of shaming anyone for their attractions or kinks or ships or whatever. I feel really bad about it. I (kinda) apologized on the op, but idk how many people saw it. 

What happened here was that I saw Loki being violated (stripping someone without their consent, especially in such a rushed fashion, is violating) and the tone of the tv spot made it seem like it was “hey check out this funny thing that the TVA does to Loki!” and then on top of that, the collective approval from the fandom bc “shirtless/nakey Loki” was just too much for my brain. 

I’ve gone back and rewatched the tv spot a couple of times, taken a deep breath, and now want to make it clear that my issue is with the show, not the fandom. 

I mean, the thing is - I get what they’re trying to do, obviously. By stripping him of his armor (literally, but also figuratively stripping him of his armor, ie his protective shell, his dignity - he’s both physically and emotionally naked), they’re making him new again. It’s the same thing Ragnarok did to Thor - strip him of his hammer, of his hair, of his long flowing cape, of his eye, symbolizing that the old Thor is gone and a new Thor has emerged. It’s the same thing here - everything that was familiar about Loki is being taken away, and a new Loki emerges. Like, I get that. It’s not the most subtle symbolism. 

The problem is that they do it in a way that feels degrading. They literally rip his clothes from him. His protests go unnoticed/unacknowledged. He’s utterly powerless either to stop it or to react to it bc, before he can even fully get his protests out, he’s being dropped through the floor. 

And I don’t even necessarily have a problem with that - the process of dehumanizing a person, taking their identity from them, when they’re imprisoned is par for the course and is part of what makes the experience of being imprisoned so awful - if the narrative shows us it’s a bad thing. I get the impression, from the way it’s shown in the tv spot, that we’re supposed to be like - the best comparison I can think of is when Thor is going through the tunnel-thingy in Ragnarok and fucking Willy Wonka is playing while he’s just “wtf” and it’s amusing. Except in this case instead of getting a ride down a tunnel, Loki is forced out of his clothing and dropped through a series of levels (which is also not super subtle symbolism - the ground beneath Loki’s feet is unstable; the rug’s been pulled out from under him in this new situation he’s found himself in). 

It’s just that I find it a deeply uncomfortable thing, and it’s not funny, and shouldn’t be played for laughs. 

Now, I fully recognize that I could be wrong. That it’s misleading on purpose. The rest of the tv spot did feel very creepy, admittedly. Loki seeing someone literally get erased from existence, his fading screams clashing with the cheerful ‘let us know how we’re doing!’ DMV-esque nightmare of Miss Minutes, is genuinely disturbing. If the stripping scene is tonally similar - something that the audience is clearly supposed to feel unnerved about, just bc of how violating it is - then that’s one thing. I’m just not holding out very much hope for that. 

Anyway, like I said, I’m very distressed and idk if I’m making sense or not but there we are. I need June 9 to hurry up and get here so that I can watch the pilot and at least know, one way or another, if I’m going to like this show or if I’m going to hate it. The emotional whiplash is really messing with my head. 

[sarah-sandwich]

A love letter to commenters, using only their words as they left them on works of fiction

Dear Commenters,

I don’t even know where to start

First of all, I have to compliment your fortitude

Well done

You mad genius

To write a comment

So full of

Genuine affection

Heartfelt, and REAL

Honey you can’t do this?

Such a beautiful message

Oh dear

I would kudos

A million times if I could

.

Unintelligible caps-lock comment

My beloved

I gotta be honest

APOLOGIZING

For

A

Beautiful

Knee-jerk reaction

NOOOOOOOO

It’ll be a crime against this fandom if you stop

.

You

Wrote this

I’m thankful I got to read this

My heart needed it

On another note tho i—

Fhsjhdhdhdsh

A comment

Relief in the sea of fandom

Don’t take this the wrong way

I’m glad you didn’t

Threw it out

Because it is perfect and I’m keeping it

.

Y’know what, fuck it *affection*

The amount of validation

Is absurd

No thoughts. Head empty. Just

THE WAY I AM YELLING

How it feels like we

Work

Together

I’m at 4am finishing just another one more part

You being the reason

I can’t wait to finish it

Would you be okay if I

Express just how much

I love your brain

We do not and I repeat do not deserve you!

.

I can’t think of a funny quip

In all seriousness

I’ve been struggling

But

I needed something

And you gave it to me

Rent free

We start out raw, stumbling around in the dark and weaving our way across the lines of humor and sincerity

The people we really are

Not the character or story development, but yours. You

Hi thanks its 5:30am here and I am wrapped up in my comforter and my face is wet

.

To write a comment

I don't know if you realize, but

From reading it

I'll be a better person

Sure, the characters drew me to this fic, but it’s you that kept me here

Going back

There's this

Feeling

You managed to give me

And that's not even a fraction of the awe I'm feeling at the way

the commentary

made me blink back a few tears

There is absolutely no fucking way I can find the same amount of euphoria

Finally some good fucking food

.

I’m screaming

Something I don't think is said enough

Thank you for sharing

The most perfect paragraph I’ve ever read

I will cherish it for days

Will read again. Maybe a few times.

.

I believed in every word.

.

Guess what I’m doing instead of

Writing

I’m reading this

Comment

Again. Again. Again.

There were so many moments that had me

!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do I feel guilty about it?

No :)

It’s alright the next chap is already up

I will be in debt from cavities but it’s worth it

I regret nothing!

.

Oh my god. Oh my god.

Just say thank you like a normal person

Is that too much to ask

Guh.

I’m so sorry

.

The anxiety

The awkwardness

It’s alright

Your

Words

Make me feel better

AND PROUD

Thank you for sharing

Connecting

Supporting each other

Hits different for some reason

(in a good way)

Does that make sense?

.

Maybe I’m just sleep deprived

It’s 3AM here

.

I promise you’re doing okay bud

You’re really funny and sweet

You did such a wonderful job

You wrote it all very well

It makes my day

I love how you captured the

Subtle background details

And the acknowledgment that

It takes a lot of work!

And damn if you didn't hit that nail right on the head

.

Idk how long this comment will get

I should be sleeping

I’ll probably regret it in the morning

But

It’s like

So so happy to see this

In my inbox :)

It’s like coming home

You’re making me have FEELINGS

My heart is happy and full

.

I’m literally

SCREAMING

Quietly-but-not-quietly-at-all into a pillow

This lovely

Thing

You wrote

Got me through

More confident

With lots of joy and laughter

I hope you’re still writing

.

Every

Word

You write

My favorite thing to read

Please dear god lmk

If you happen to

Been feeling out of sorts

Buddy…sleep

You are not alone

Sending all my love

As always

Let someone take care of your ass for once

.

Everybody’s

Really going through it

Being the yardstick for each other

Have to compete

But I just can’t

This should be

Fun

Aiming

To be happpyyyy!

.

Next chapter

Could have been quicker

I wish I could give so many more

Life totally got away from me this year

Don’t read the last few chapters at 1 am

But on the other hand

What can you do?

.

My feelings are all over the place

.

Such a beautiful message

I think will stick with me always

From someone who hasn’t written in a while, this inspires me immensely to continue

Kudos upon kudos to you

.

Ah, I could go on forever

I don’t know how many ways I can say

Thank you so much

You wonderful human

Without sounding obnoxious so I’ll leave it as

It’s 2am and I’m left with

Massive

WIBBLES

I can’t even put this one into words

Please knock me out with a brick

Ouchie…and lovely

It’s hard to form coherent sentences

But somehow you made me fall even more in love with

Writing

.

I forgot to say it before but

Listen

It was exactly what I needed

You are so fucking amazing

20/10

Did I mention my brain went aaaaaahhhhhhh!

Thank you for the serotonin

Once I run out

Will probably read it again

No seriously

I’ll have to return to it in the future to reread it

.

It’s now 3am

Thank you for

Reading this

I loved every moment and I’m sad it had to end. But it was perfect.

I can’t stop smiling.

.

Hope you’re safe and well, read you~

Love,

Writers

[out-of-jams]

down || jjk

↠ Down ↞ down, down, down.

pairing: jungkook x reader

word count: 700 wds

warnings/genre: mermaid!jungkook. uhhh horror? drabble. idk what this is man I just wrote it at like 4am. non-graphic mentions of blood. pg+13

All works here are purely fiction. Everything I write is my intellectual property and therefore belongs to me. ©out-of-jams. Do not copy or repost without permission. That is illegal and you are stealing no matter if you give credit or not.

                             | | Masterlist | |

It was…Quiet when you saw him.

Which was kind of poetic justice, in a sense, to end things the same way they began. A distant sort of diluted stillness morphing the atmosphere, turning it into something stifling yet freeing all at once.

You almost wouldn’t have believed that he was real—some part of you still didn’t—if it weren’t for the fact that you could feel the chill from the frigid water seeping into your bones. Could taste the salt that clung to the back of your throat and stung at your eyes. Could sense the way your clothes weighed you down down down.

He floated far below you where the ocean started to seep into black, flesh pale in the sliver of light from the moon out past the surface. Obsidian hued hair framed his sharp face in a halo like the rough waves he hid under. Scales the same color as the midnight sky shone across what little part of him you could see from so far above. And a tail, not legs, a tail parted the water when he shifted his chin to gaze up at you.

You weren’t sure how hard you’d hit your head when you fell from the mountainside and tumbled into the endless ocean below, if you were just hallucinating. Not that it mattered really, what with how little oxygen you had left in your lungs.

So, you didn’t bother to move your weakened limbs, content to just blearily watch him watch you as the blood seeped from your wound and your eyelids grew heavy. Even in the near darkness, you were able to see the way his eyes glowed a soft blue, blinking lazily in a bemused sort of way. If something like him was even capable of feeling such a thing. His head tilted slightly to the side, heavy brows furrowed, and thin lips parted.

Time passed by in a haze of half-completed thoughts and coldcoldcold until he swished the muscles in his tail and drifted up and up and up and floated just within reach. The first touch of his curious fingers across your skin felt slick from the intricate webbing that threaded between his digits. And that was what he was: curious. You could tell by the way his dark lashes fluttered and brushed against his cheekbones. By the way his other hand plucked at the fabric of your clothes like he’d never seen it before. By the way his bare, sculpted chest heaved in deep breaths that filtered through the gills on the sides of his slender neck.

You should have been panicking, fighting for your life to make it back to the surface, but you couldn’t dredge up the effort to do so. Things were hazy, distant in a way that made everything nonsensical. Blame it on the boulder that had smashed against the back of your head when you’d slipped and took a nosedive straight into the abyss. Or perhaps the fault laid therein the rainstorm that had raged the sky and caused your jeep to stick into the mud until you’d had no choice but to get out and try to push it.

Whatever it was, it didn’t matter. Not now. Not when there was nothing you could do but watch him watch you.

And when his curiosity seemed sated and those bottomless irises of his shone with deep seated hunger, and he looped a thick arm around your waist, there was nothing you could do but watch.

Watch as he tucked you firmly into his side. Watch as a grin pulled up at that mouth and teeth sharper than a razor peeked out from behind thin lips. Watch as the blood seeping from your skin permeated the water and drifted towards his round, button nose.

And when that hunger melted into something frenzied, there was nothing you could do but watch him watch you as he dragged you down down down into the darkness below.

[pinkchanelbag]

CONGRATS NIA MY LOVE <33

could i have 'the lovers' w kenma? screams i love video games very much too much and uh i think we'd PROBABLLLYY play them together :0 also hmm i have frequent headaches all the time and uh idk kenma would probably murder me for it even tho he probably has them a lot too KJASDFGH. thank you again lovely and congrats !! also take your time :)) ilyy <333

THE LOVERS — KENMA + HEADACHES. 

— this lil hypocrite is constantly chastising you in a low voice for using screens and stuff while your head hurts like he’s not this close to being legally blind because of gaming. 

— texts like “hey” “hi” “why tf are u awake it’s 4am” “KEN U TEXTED ME.”

— when you guys are apart/talking via online kinda thing, he’ll be asking you to take time away from your screen and anytime you get pouty because you wanna keep talking to him, he’ll just have you call him so you can hear his voice without using your phone. 

— forced naps on his thigh if y’all are hanging out in a chill setting like in someone’s backyard with kuroo. 

— you guys would def play together too. i feel like you’d also get each other into games that the other one of you hasn’t gotten around to playing yet, or him letting you play using his saved games with their stacked-as-fuck inventories. 

— the console he plays with has his controller plus some spares but there is Your controller and he’ll bite a person’s finger off frown a little and trade them with a different one saying “no use this one” if they try to use yours. 

— when y’all play for a loooooooong time and you start blinking hard or rubbing your head, he of course notices and he’ll catch you redhanded by flicking your forehead and watching you wince. then go, “why don’t we take a break?” 

— wandering down to the kitchen while holding your hand and bringing you along like a bag dragging on the floor behind him, getting you some snacks and water before perching himself up on the counter and just watching you eat.

— he sits across from you on the island with his arms rested and folded on the surface, back slouched, and his face half-tucked into his elbows, kind of watching you like a tired but intrigued cat and you have to go “ken you’re watching me eat really hard right now” so he starts snacking with you a little. 

— one good thing about your headaches is that they indirectly make him take care of himself a little better too.

— after nourishment he pulls you back up to the room and turns the lights low and turns off any external sound and gets you comfy in his bed and forces you to relax all your senses and muscles. the most he offers is the quiet purr of his voice as he makes simple conversation into your hair.

— needless to say, it helps you sleep pretty well. 

note: bless ur souls y’all are made for each other. love u zumi!

NIAS’S 999 EVENT (CLOSED).

[probably-haven]

I TAKE IT BACK 4AM IS THE PERFECT TIME TO THEORIZE

okay so people in teyvat are capable of harnessing elements on their own without visions once their ambition reaches a certain strength. its like- they have the ability dormantly or something, but without the ambition to use it it remains that way. 

and yall have heard that thing about how the translation for visions is actually like- “eye of god” or something??? leaving that there

GNOSISES

so the archons have dominions over certain kinds of dominions, and each have their own territory that they rule over and all in all that’s teyvat. and what makes an archon is the fact that they have a gnosis, otherwise theyre just a god. anyways, so the archons have their gnoses, and collecively rule ove teyvat with them. and each gnosis has its main element and its respective ideal/ambition

okay so- the one rainbow namecard says something like “theirs infinite colors but people are lazy af and dont want to count so they just say 7, maybe elements are the same” (paraphrased ofc) so anyway, assuming theres like countless elements that fit under these 7 categories lets say this

so a person’s ambition reaches a certain level and gains control of the elements, but since they were born or since this happned in the territory of an archon(someone w/ a gnosis) Celestia has some kind of contractual power over them and their ability to control the elements, which was probably decided during the archon war. So they like take the ambition that lets them control their respective element and put it into a vision where they can keep tabs on it and them, and this works because the elements mirror the person’s ambitons which like- probably mirror an archon in some way, giving their gnosis like- the ability to fucking- idk its like a link- like maybe the gnosis like- absorbs the ambition from the vision and steadily feeds it to celestia or something or something else weid like that- idk it made sense in my head at first maybe its like- the person can control all elements traveler style but like the gnosises latch onto one ideal that the person keeps and they keep that elements powers while the others are like siphoned and absorbed by other gnoses or something and yeeted to power celestia or something

but the point is! when ei gave up her gnosis or something, people stopped getting electro visions, so like when the gnosis isnt with the archon or something, Celestia loses the ability to track those with that particular ambition or something. 

and if the tsaritsa wannts to oppose celstia removing its eyes is a good start yknow

itd also make sense why all the archons seem to be gods who started out as elemental beings. 

also traveler can do it cuz theyre from another world and not under celestia’s dominion

idk, its just- a nifty idea ill come back to later when its not quite so late