#idk if it's called a pickup cover at all

[identifying-guitars-in-posts]

oh yeah we're doing more anime

Rickenbacker 4001 Bass in Azureglo Blue

(with and without the pickup cover)

[doechae]

Spitting poetry like a romantic | txt, beomgyu.

pairing choi beomgyu & fem reader.

genre fluff type shi, cheesy pickup lines but he's cute so its fine🤓☝

doei speaks! beomgyu is actually the loml, yes it's true ++ dividers came from sister-lucifer <3

"hey baby, are you a freezer? cause i wanna stick my meat in you."

you stopped scrolling and looked up to see your boyfriend sitting on the edge of the bed. "what the fuck?"

he laughed, "what? don't tell me you didn't like that one!"

beomgyu has been doing this all day long. he finds cheesy pickup lines, then uses them on you until he gets a "good reaction", and then stops.

for like an hour before catching you off-guard again.

but you have to admit (to yourself, not him or else he wouldn't let you live it down) that it was kinda fun. it's his way of showing you he's still as interested in your relationship as he was when you first started dating, and it makes you feel good inside.

beomgyu pulled his phone out of his pocket, clicking around, before he stifled a laugh and glanced back up.

"are you a pinata? because i need a blindfold before i hit."

....your mouth opened a bit in shock, and he covered his mouth to stop his faint laughter. it lowkey took you a second to think about a proper response, but then you found one.

"DID YOU JUST BASICALLY CALL ME UGLY WITH A PICKUP LINE WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU NEED A BLINDFOLD BEFORE YOU HIT? HUH, BEOMGYU?" (okay soo this might be a kink thing i'm YOUNG idk mannn-)

he let out a loud, hysterical laugh before wiping his eyes due to them tearing up. you on the other hand were not laughing, a bit amused, but keeping up your cold-angry-girlfriend expression.

beomgyu moved closer to you, now sitting on your left. he put his hand ontop of yours and leaned in to kiss your forehead lightly. "of course not, (yn). i love you so much! i'm just messing with you."

seeing his demeanor change to a kinder, sweeter one honestly made you melt. that was how he acted when you two first began dating.

but honestly, you liked him better once the two of you got comfortable in your relationship.

he's goofy, annoyingly cute, and an all-around good guy. that's the beomgyu you love.

you sighed, resting your head on his shoulder.

and you two sat like that for a good four minutes.

a nice, quiet, peaceful four minutes.

"are you a parking ticket? because i picked you up off the streets and i can't afford to pay you."

"BEOMGYU OH MY GOD SHUT UP!!"

"ha!! you know you love it~ i'm spitting real poetry here babe!!"

"NO YOU'RE NOTTT!!!"

End!ㅤ

thanks for reading! idk what posessed me to write this but he's so cute and i js wanna AHHHH like yk? (he makes me feel love stuff basically🤓)

reblog / like it if you enjoyed <3!

[totheblood]

cool about it.

pairing: modern!ellie x reader

summary: ellie is your girlfriend, best friend, friend.... it's complicated... based on the song cool about it by boygenius

warnings: 18+: angst, cursing, drinking, ellie is lowkey a d*ck...

word count: 3.1k

a/n: i had plans to write this but you can thank jay (@elliewill) for begging me to write it because she loves angst... so this one is for her. also only two ai audios.. idk the angst ai audios made me sick i apologize

"i can walk you home and practice method acting."

There was an overwhelming silence in the room.

Your hand was wrapped in Ellie’s, her fingers brushing over the smooth skin covering your joints. You couldn’t see her in the dark room, but you knew she was smiling. You could smell the lavender and musk rolling off her in waves, almost rendering you useless as you leaned into her. She was intoxicating in every way a person could be. But as the lights came on and the credits began to roll, Ellie pulled her hand from yours, wiping at her jeans as she turned to the group. 

“That movie was shit.” A laugh escaped her lips as she stood up, not looking at you. Sometimes when Ellie was feeling ashamed about snubbing you in public, she had a hard time making eye contact with you after. You liked to believe it was the guilt, but you weren’t so sure of that. 

“I thought it was nice.” You smiled up at her, collecting your bag from the floor and throwing it over your shoulder. Ellie’s eyes flicked down to you, then rolled back into her head. 

“You think every movie is nice,” she teased, picking up her jacket that was thrown over the back of her seat. “It’s why you give every move 5 stars on Letterboxd.”

“That’s true.” Dina chimed in as the group began making their way out of the theater. “But I liked it, so I’m gonna have to agree with her on this one. Sorry, Ellie.”

“I don’t know,” Cindy spoke up, squinting as her eyes adjusted to the bright lights from outside. “How many Scream movies are they gonna make?”

“That’s what I’m saying!” Ellie practically screamed as she held the door for you. You wanted to think that the gesture meant more, but sadly she was just being polite. You were trying your best not to overanalyze everything Ellie did in relation to you but found it hard when her hand reached for yours in every dark room. Your thoughts were cut off by the sound of Ellie calling your name. 

“What?” You looked at Ellie, a confused look plastered on your face. 

“I asked if you wanted a ride to your apartment. Dina and Cindy are going back to the dorms.” She said matter of factly, slipping on her jacket. 

“Oh, yeah. That would be great.” You turned to say bye to Dina and Cindy before following Ellie to her car. You knew her car too well. The pickup truck she’d drive you to 7-11 in nearly every night was on its last leg and needed a repair almost every month, but Ellie swore by it. She always made some comment about how loyal she was for not abandoning her car, but you always joked back that she couldn’t afford a new one. She’d roll her eyes and grab the Slurpee cup from your hands, taking a sip as payback. 

It was tender moments like that one that kept you coming back, despite Ellie’s refusal to commit. It was an unspoken understanding between the both of you, but you knew that if you talked about it that Ellie would validate your fears. So you just didn’t talk about it. 

You let her lean over the seat and kiss you when you got in the car, but not before looking out the window to make sure Dina and Cindy had pulled off. Her mouth tasted like cherry and vanilla, and her hands pressed at the side of your cheeks. You had to romanticize moments like this, the secret kisses and stolen glances. Otherwise, it would just be pathetic. 

You were unsure if you were in love with Ellie, but you wanted to spend all of your free time in her back pocket. You wanted a necklace engraved with her name hanging around your neck as if she owned you. You wanted to bring her home to meet your parents, her hands shaking as they hugged her. Maybe it was love, or maybe it was you hanging onto the brief moments that her tongue was tucked into your cheek.

“If you’re gonna hold my hand throughout the movie, maybe you should just take me out on a date,” you laughed, watching her face fall. Mentally, you were cursing yourself, but your gentle smile remained.

“That’s not what this is.”

“I know, it’s just-” 

“The movie was scary, I thought you’d want me to hold your hand through it.” Ellie cut you off, her tone sharp. She began buckling her seatbelt, wanting to escape the conversation as soon as possible. “If I knew you’d make a big deal about it I wouldn’t have done it.”

“Yea, no. You’re right, Ellie.” You gave in like you usually did when it came to Ellie. If something you said came too close to referring to you and Ellie as an ‘actual relationship’, she would shut down completely. You don’t know why her body tensed up, or why she avoided eye contact, but you didn’t want to push it. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine, I just-” Ellie sighed as she put the car in drive, pulling out of the parking lot and onto the main road. One hand was planted on the steering wheel while the other rubbed at the bridge of her nose. “I don’t want this to be too complicated. I like what we have. It’s easy.”

“Yea, I know.” Your voice sounded as small as you felt. As easy as this was for Ellie, it was torture for you. Not only could you not tell her how you truly felt, but you also felt like you couldn’t tell any of your friends about it. Another frustrated sigh fell from Ellie’s lips, you could tell she was trying. 

“Look, Jesse is throwing a party tomorrow night.” She glanced over at you in the passenger seat, her expression unreadable. “How about you come with me?” 

You knew she wasn’t asking you out on a date. You knew that and yet your heart still leaped in your chest at her request. You knew it wasn’t a date and you still agreed to go.

-

You felt pathetic trying on every outfit in your closet, trying to make sure whatever you wore would accentuate your best features. You settled on a simple tank top and jeans, throwing a flannel over it in case it got cold. Despite knowing how the night was most likely going to go, you still wanted to look your best for Ellie. It was the first time she’s ever asked you to go anywhere public and in the back of your mind you imagined this night changing the dynamic of your relationship completely. 

Ellie picked you up early, her car making some weird sputtering noise as she pulled up. She looked you up and down when you climbed into the car, her stare making your cheeks heat up. 

“You look nice,” Ellie mentioned, hand on the steering wheel. She waited until you were buckled in to press a kiss to your lips, smiling before she pulled off. The conversation in the car was nothing substantial, just small talk about classes and friends, and how much work the both of you had to do. 

Outside of the frat house people were scattered on the lawn. A couple sat on the front porch making out while the music inside made the wood shake. There were a lot more people here than you anticipated, and you could tell Ellie was getting nervous. Usually, when she was nervous she’d reach for your hand, but tonight she trailed behind you.

Jesse, Dina, Cindy, and some of Jesse’s frat friends were huddled in the kitchen when you arrived. Jesse greeted you with a drunken smile and the slurring of your name, pulling you in for a hug.

“Nice to see you brought your girlfriend, El.” He joked, bringing Ellie into a half hug and attempting to give her a fist bump. Ellie’s mouth hung open as her eyes darted around the group, avoiding eye contact with you. Then she let out a laugh, a loud full-chested laugh as she held her stomach. 

“She- she’s not my girlfriend.” She managed between laughs. The way she said it as if it was a joke that she could ever date you made your heart drop. She still hadn’t even glanced at you. If she had she would’ve seen the way your smile faded and eyes dropped to the floor. 

“I know that,” Jesse laughed, lifting his red cup to his lips and taking another swig of his drink, “It’s just you guys always hang out… it’s a joke.”

“Damn right, it’s a joke.” Ellie chuckled with the rest of the group. You were struggling to find the humor in this so you just gave the group a tight-lipped smile and excused yourself. You pushed past the sweaty bodies to make your way into the living room where some guy was dipping red cups into a giant container filled with red liquid. He didn’t even look at you as he handed you a cup but you still thanked him.

You took the drink with you outside, sitting on the steps of the porch and drinking the vile liquid. You coughed on your first sip but as you downed it and the buzz filled your body it became more tolerable. About 30 minutes had passed with you sitting in there, occasionally saying hi to people you knew from class that were going in and out of the house. 

You didn’t even notice when Ellie came out and stood in front of you. Her arms were crossed over her chest, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

“Where have you been all night?” Ellie’s voice came out meaner than expected, but she was starting to believe you had left her. “I’ve been looking for you.”

“Couldn’t have looked that hard,” a bitter laugh fell from your lips, your eyes glued to your phone, not wanting to look up at her. “I was sat here all night.”

“What the fuck is your problem?” Ellie’s hand shook your knee gently, urging that she wanted you to look up at her. When you did, you stared her down, a tightness behind your eyes. 

“It’s nothi-”

“It’s someth-”

“It’s you!” Your voice came out in a whisper-yell, causing Ellie to look around at the other people outside. No one was paying attention to you. “Earlier when you laughed when Jesse called me your girlfriend. That’s my problem, Ellie.”

“Oh my god,” Ellie groaned, her hands rubbing at her face. “You’re serious?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” You stood in front of her, the steps making you taller than her. 

“Cause that’s fucking ridiculous, I’m sorry.” Ellie turned around and began walking down the road towards her car, you hot on her trail. 

“That’s ridiculous?” She stopped halfway down the block, turning to you. You were almost sure she led you out here to make sure no one would see you fighting.

“Yes, it’s fucking ridiculous because you always do this!” Ellie’s voice sounded tired as if she was at her breaking point with you. “You always make something out of nothing. I hate to break it to you but you are not my girlfriend and you never have been.”

“But I’m something.” You fought back tears, the sentence coming out more like a question. 

“You’re-” Ellie sighed, looking away from you. “You’re my friend, okay? That’s what it is and if you can’t handle being my friend then maybe we shouldn’t be friends.” 

This was as close to a breakup as you would get with Ellie. 

“Friend.” The word sounded bitter on your tongue. “Friends don’t kiss each other, Ellie.” Your voice was small again.

“They do.” She stated matter-of-factly, “They do because we do. You have never been more to me than a friend.”

You couldn’t stop the tears in your eyes, you knew this was how she felt but never expected it to come out of her mouth. The 8 months you wasted now hitting you like a ton of bricks. Nodding you let out an ‘okay’ and began making your way down the street.

“Where are you going?” Ellie called after you, following you as you picked up your pace. 

“I’m going home, I’m calling an Uber.” You didn’t turn to look at her but could feel her behind you.

“Don’t..” She sighed again. “Don’t do that, I can take you.”

“No, I’d rather not see you again.” Ellie’s footsteps behind you stilled causing you to turn around. The hurt on her face was evident, though no tears fell. She was just staring through you. 

“Fine,” was all she said before turning around and heading back to the party.

-

You didn’t talk to or hear from Ellie for a month after the party. She didn’t call to make sure you made it home safe or text you to tell you she was sorry. There was nothing on her end or your end so you stopped talking. Dina and Cindy barely noticed the shift between the two of you with finals coming up so they never asked.

You were left to mourn what felt like a relationship, but never really was. There was a person who knew everything about you, how you scraped your knee when you were nine, and how much you hate blueberries, who no longer spoke to you. You wondered what she did with that information. If everytime she had a blueberry muffin she thought of you. 

Not to your knowledge, Ellie did think about you. She thought about the way your hair smelt and how you used to sing along to throwback songs in the car with her. She thought about how she used to tell you the things she used to be scared to say out loud, and how you would rub at her shoulder to soothe her. She thought about the scrape and the blueberries and the way your eyes glossed over when you cried. She tried not to think about that night at that party and what your eyes looked like.

As summer came around and everyone packed their bags to go back home, you found yourself enjoying the heat from the sun as it prickled at your skin. Summer’s in Jackson were filled with fireworks, sidewalk chalk, and popsicles. Groups of teenagers hung out in the parking lot of the local convenience shop, drinking redbulls and laughing loudly with their friends. 

Jackson was small so the fear of running into Ellie only grew as the summer went on. You did your best to avoid the places you knew she went, until you couldn’t. You found yourself inside the brightly lit convenience store right by Ellie’s house, looking through the candy section for gummy bears. It was late and this was the only store open close enough for you to ride your bike to so you took that risk. 

As if fate was out to get you, Ellie walked into the store phone in hand and freckles more prominent than they usually were. Her face had a little bit of a red tint to it and her hair was pulled back into a bun. She looked relaxed, but more than that she looked fine. You don’t know why it bothered you, but it did.

Upon seeing you her entire demeanor changed. Her entire body became rigid, mirroring yours as she contemplated on what to do. She looked to the packages overflowing in your hand and laughed. She wanted to make a joke, but didn’t know how you would take it so she remained silent. 

“Hey,” she pursed her lips as she approached you. You looked like you had seen a ghost and Ellie wanted to laugh, to kiss at your nose until you smiled but she doubted that would happen.

“Hey,” you responded flatly, not wanting to give her any satisfaction. 

“Long time, no see,” she breathed out a short laugh, looking around. Ellie forgot what she came in here for. 

“Yeah,” you rolled your eyes and pushed past her, placing your things on the counter. The guy behind the counter began ringing them up, eyes looking in between you and Ellie as she followed you to the register. 

“Do you think we can talk?” Her voice was hushed, smooth even, and god you missed it. You glanced at her, worry was written all over her face. You sighed and reluctantly agreed. When you got outside you placed your bag in the basket of your bike and turned towards her. 

“I’ll walk you home, but after that I’m leaving, okay?” This was the rudest you have ever been to Ellie and you felt awful. You were just protecting yourself but you didn’t want her to see this as a way to wiggle back into your life. 

“Cool, cool.” Ellie responded as she watched you walk with your bike, your hand firmly on the handles. She glanced over at you, heart warming at the sight of your face. “How’ve you been?”

“Good, finals went well.”

“That’s good.”

“Do you regret it?” You stopped in the middle of the sidewalk to look at her, to see her reaction when she answered. 

“No,” was all she said, making you roll your eyes. 

“Why?”

“Cause I wasn’t ready,” she sighed and continued walking, hoping you would follow her. “I would’ve destroyed you.”

“You did.”

“No, I didn’t,” her green eyes looked dark in the illumination of the street lights. “Look at you, you’re here and you’re still you.” 

“I’m not still me,” you rolled your eyes, “I’m scared-”

“-I was scared,” her voice over lapped yours, the bite in her tone back. “I was your first… whatever that was… but you weren’t mine.” 

“Way to rub it in.”

“No, I mean,” she took a deep breath, “I did the relationship shit before and it didn’t end well. It made me into this. I think if you and me became real… it would’ve not only killed you but also me.”

“I think you should’ve let it happen. Give me that choice.”

“I did what was best for me,” Ellie’s voice was strong, she was sure of herself, “and for you, but you don’t have to believe that.”

“I don’t believe it.”

“That’s okay.” 

“Do you miss me?” you whispered.

“All the time,” she smiled to herself, “but I’m doing fine.”

When you got a good look at her you noticed the bags under her eyes, the worry line on her forehead that was growing. She even looked smaller. Nothing about her made it seem like she was doing okay, but it didn’t make sense to press her on the matter. It hurt, but a part of you understood it, understood her. The idea of getting close to someone terrified you, and you couldn’t pretend that you didn’t understand where she was coming from, but it didn’t help that her deep-seated fear was now being passed down to you.

“That’s good,” you gave her a fake smile, “I’m happy to hear it.”

“This is me,” she gestured towards her house before turning back to you and giving you one last smile, “You’ll be okay.”

“I know.”

ai audios:

[hmshermitcraft]

Bdubs is rich, rich enough that he doesn't know what to do with his money. He doesn't want a big house, he doesn't like how gaudy rich decor is, he still has his junkyard pickup from highschool and he'll only replace it when it catches fire (again). He got a full scholarship to college and got a great job right after graduating.

Etho...isn't poor, ok? He's just, modest. He's got a little apartment that's water tight and cozy. he doesn't need a car, skateboards to work and college and he has enough excess money to buy himself a little treat every week. it's senior year, he's living as good as he can.

They ran into each other doing Etho's commute. "Ran into each other" meaning Etho didn't look both ways and Bdubs' shitty breaks can only break so fast, so Etho's day was put on hold because getting hit by a truck is uh, uncomfortable.

He's not dead, just a little fucked up, especially his leg. It doesn't hurt right now but he knows it will based on the angle. He's lying dazed on the pavement when Bdubs reaches him, "FUCK ARE YOU OK OMG IM SO SORRY"

Bdubs brings him to the hospital and surprisingly waits for him to be all fixed up. Then Bdubs covers his medical fees even though he really didn't need to. It's Etho's fault he was hit after all.

Obviously with a broken leg Etho can't get to work, which he tells Bdubs in passing while he's driven home. "O no worries, tell me your schedule I'll take you."

"I can just get a taxi it's no biggie."

"I'm offering u a free ride."

"very correct, lemme see your phone I'll text you."

And so friendship.

And then more???? Idk man I was almost hit by a car today lmao

-carrie

Where Bdubs won't spend on himself, he certainly would on Etho. If the man let him. He's offered to buy Etho a car, to replace anything that got damaged in the crash, even to pay for any missed work.

The most Etho agrees is the medical bills and a new skateboard. He won't even accept a bike! He only accepted the medical bills because he 'has enough student loan debt' (Bdubs offered to pay for that too. Etho at least considered it for a little longer.)

It takes a while until they meet comfortably in the middle. Etho will happily take a ride from Bdubs - as long as Bdubs lets him contribute fuel money. It motivates Bdubs to actually get a decent ride at some point, though he keeps the pick up.

Most importantly, Etho gets more than one treat a week now. No matter how frugal Bdubs tries to be, it all falls apart when he's presented with sweet treats. They could even call them dates.

[andromeda-nova-writing]

idk who this can be paired with but i would love to see your spin to “really nice guy who hates you”! hehe :3 tq — @milkstore

He was the first person I thought of. It helps that he really is just a nice guy.

“You should come with me to see Ayaka one of these days,” Yoimiya suggested as the two of you moved boxes of fireworks packing them up for a delivery to the Yashiro commission.

“I've met her before… and that bodyguard she has.” her voice dropped.

“You okay? Did something happen when you met Thoma?” She peaked her head out from behind a box.

“I've been running over what happened in my mind that day but it doesn’t make sense.”

“Oh?”

Y/N placed the box on the ground in the front. “I didn't do anything out of the ordinary. I was just as polite and kind as I am to anyone. I even offered to pay for a drink for them while taking care of my parent’s stall.”

“You do that for almost everyone nice enough to you. You did it for me probably too many times.”

“Cause you keep giving my family free fireworks! What am I supposed to do?”

Yoimiya laughed.

“Anyway. I made the drinks right in front of them. Ayaka was the sweetest. Thoma… are you sure he's a nice guy?”

“Yeah! He's like suuuper helpful! He came to read to some of the children around with me last week. Even gave them all piggyback rides.” Yoimiya seemed to genuinely like the guy.

“He just stared at the drink as if I poured him a glass of mud that I spat in. His eyes were so cold. Like his eyes stared into my very soul looking at me for any past sin I could have committed all with the smile of a devil.”

Yoimiya put her box down. “Are you sure you were talking to Thoma? That sounds nothing Like him.” With the box no longer covering her view she could see who was coming for the firework pickup. “That's Thoma coming this way actually. Hii!” She yelled out with a big wave.

“Don't call him over. He might bite my head off.”

“Yoimiya! Y/N.” He greeted back upon getting closer to the two. His voice was cheerful greeting Yoimiya but when he said her name it felt like he had to force it out through his teeth. It looked as if Yoimiya didn't even notice.

“Let me go inside and finish packing up the last box. It won't take too long.” She explained leaving the two of them alone despite What Y/N explained. Betrayal.

The least she could do was try and make an effort. Maybe Yoimiya was right and he truly was a nice guy. Maybe she just caught him on a bad day and that was clouding her thoughts. “So how's Ayaka doing? Well, I hope.”

“None of your concern but she's fine.” Yikes. And people describe him as a puppy? His arms were crossing making him look even more closed off.

“I'm glad. Especially with the festival drawing near. By any chance could I get an update on if my parent’s drink stall request to be at the festival went through? I know it's a bit informal asking now but-”

“Denied.”

“Like the request was denied or that this isn't a good time to ask if-”

“Denied.” He sighed. People could have two bad days in a row, right?

“Oh okay.” She held her head down not wanting To make eye contact with him any further. “It just seems like Ayaka enjoyed it so much.”

“Miss Kamisato.” He corrected. “Your parents are the ones who put the application in. It would have been best if we saw their skills. Even then since your name wasn't on the application I really shouldn't be disclosing any information to you.”

Y/N frowned looking up at him. “Did I do something? We've barely known each other and all you done is look at me like I'm something you wiped off your shoe. Maybe a life of luxury afforded to you by the Kamisato's has gone to your head!”

She didn't even notice the door open. Yoimiya's eyes widen upon hearing The last sentence. “I'm so sorry! She's usually nicer than this.” She elbowed Y/N as she handed Thoma the box.

“Ah, don't worry about it.” His whole personality seemed to flip. “Nothing I hadn't heard before. Probably best I leave. I’ll be out your hair quick Yoimiya.”

“Take your time. Everything should be out here. We will just be inside if you need anything.” She waved goodbye before pulling her friend inside and closing the door behind them. And with a whispered yell she asked, “What was that about?”

“He started it. I was being polite. I'm just telling you. I think he despises me.”

[svtminghaolove]

First time meeting you - Hyung line (ATEEZ)

Hellooooo ~ I’ve realized that I love writing the moments in the beginning/before the relationship starts. Idk why but i just do. Anywho, hope you enjoy and don’t worry “Almost breaking up” SVT vocal line will come this weekend (;

Triggers: Nope.

Seonghwa: It was a pretty normal day, he was going out to get some food together with Wooyoung and San. They were walking the streets talking about what they should get, covered with both hats and masks to avoid too many prying eyes, even if the streets were pretty empty.

After a few minutes of walking San and Wooyoung were standing in the middle of the street arguing about which place they should get pickup from, while Seonghwa was on his phone searching for the closets place to come to an end of this discussion. Then he suddenly got this feeling that he should look at his surroundings, and that is when he saw you.

You were sitting at a café, books stapled next to you computer and an americano next to you. You were alone, but the way you suddenly laughed and said something made him believe that you were on the phone with someone. Who were you talking to? Your mom? A friend? A boyfriend? It had been about two years, but he knew it was you even though your hair had gotten longer and your style had changed.

"…Hyung!", Wooyoung snapped Seonghwa out of his trance and made him turn his gaze to them for a few seconds. "What are you looking at?", all traces of the discussion he had with San a few moments ago disappeared, and only curiosity coated his voice.

"It's her", he smiled even though he knew they couldn't see it.

"Who?", San asked and tried to follow Seonghwa's gaze.

"Her", he looked back at the guys. "The girl from when we went to Busan two years ago."

"That girl? The one who you hung out with after you got lost?", Wooyoung took a step forward and got a teasing smile on his face. "The one whose name you never got?"

"The one who got away?", San complemented to the teasing. The comments made him come back a bit to reality and he felt how the heat began to raise to his face. He turned around to shove Wooyoung’s face away as he leaned closer making kissing sounds.

"She's packing up her stuff", he turned back around at San's words. "Probably going home."

"This is your last chance", the teasing sound in Wooyoung's voice gone. "Come on, just go talk to her", and he gave Seonghwa a soft shove, making him move in the direction of the café. To be honest, he was barely aware that he was moving and when he reached out to pull open the door to the café, it slammed open at the same time.

“Yeah, I'm on my way right now so-!", and then he had a whole americano drenching his shirt. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry I didn't look were I was going! How can I help out, oh wait I have some napkins..!", you started to search through your purse, phone still pressed against your ear.

"It's okay", and as he spoke you froze. You slowly looked up and it only took a few seconds to place the man in front of you into the pockets of your memory.

"Mom, I'll call you back", Seonghwa breathed out, it was your mom who you were talking with. "… it's you."

Normally he would be a bit stressed out at a statement like this, stressed that the person might scream and let everyone know that 'Seonghwa from ATEEZ is here!'. But he felt like you weren't looking at him like "Seonghwa from Ateez", no you were looking at him the same way you had two years ago: Surprise and joy… and maybe some excitement.

"Yeah", he smiled and took the napkins from your hand, his cold fingers brushing against yours as he did. "I'm Park Seonghwa, nice to meet you again", he stepped away from the door and you followed him without even thinking twice about it.

"I know, you face is pretty well known", you gave him a soft smile, a smile that made him feel like it was only meant for him. "I'm y/full/n, but just call med y/n.", you let out a laugh and shook your head. "I only realized a while after that I never got your name… or gave you mine.", he laughed and nodded.

"Yeah, made it hard to get ahold of you", he shifted a bit and turned his gaze to his shirt, for the first time since you spoke not looking at you.

"Oh! Yeah, here…", you started to search your bag again and pulled out a pen and some crumpled paper, your tongue peaking out at the corner of mouth as you tried to focus on not poking a hole through the paper as you started writing.

"Here!", you smiled and gave him the note. "It's my number. I'm kind of in a rush, I have to pick up my friend from the airport, but text me and I'll buy you coffee some time", you looked down at his shirt and gave him an apologetic smile. "And maybe a new shirt.", he laughed and nodded.

"I'd like that."

"Awesome!", you pointed at him as you started to walk away. "Don't forget to text me!", you yelled as you started to half jog away.

Seonghwa was all smiles when he walked back to San and Wooyoung (who finally decided on where to eat).

"So, you got her number?", San asked, looking at the paper clutched in Seonghwa's hand.

"You got her name?", Wooyoung asked, continuing on the teasing tone form earlier.

"… yeah", Seonghwa completely ignoring the teasing and looked in the direction you'd walked. "Her name is y/n."

Hongjoong: It was during the recording of KINGDOM, and both of you were kind of blindsided. You were a dancer, and were actually not going to be on the show to begin with but when a colleague of yours had gotten sick, you where the one who had to step in.

You had known that ateez was going to be one of the groups competing but had not imagined that out of all the groups, you would be dancing with them. But as you got the song and the choreography you pretty quickly realized that, yes you were indeed going to be on stage with your ex-boyfriend. The two of hadn't had a bad breakup, it had just not worked out with him being a trainee and all that, but it just felt weird to see him for real again.

When you walked into the practice room you hoped that you would at least not be seen, even if you would see him. You hoped to just blend into the crowd of dancers around you, with almost everyone that was wearing the same black long-armed t-shirt and joggers. But, oh boy where you wrong.

It was like Hongjoong had some kind of censor that detected when you walked within ten meters radius. He felt how the hair on the back of his neck rose and a shiver crawled down his spine. He saw you the second you walked inside, trying to cover your face with a cap, but failing miserly, and walked across the room to some people you knew.

"Hyung… Hongjoon hyung!", he moved his gaze from you and looked at Yunho who had moved to stand next to him.

"Yes? Sorry, what did you say?", his gaze moved back to you, with out really having any control over it.

It had been what… three years? No, four. He didn't even know you had become a dancer. He knew you talked about it but your parents were against it, so he didn't know if you had decided to go to collage or chase your dream. Or well… now he knew.

"… -hyung!", he snapped back to Yunho who know had found the person guilty for Hongjoong's distraction "Who is she?", Hongjoong took a deep breath.

"… y/n", Yunho's eyes went wide.

"… y/n?", Hongjoong nodded and Yunho lowered his voice. "Pre debut, ex-girlfriend y/n?", he nodded again.

"Yes…", his gaze left Yunho once again and found you stretching with the other dancers.

He couldn't decide if you had changed. In some ways, the way you smiled and the way you took his breath away were exactly like he remembered but other things like the color of your hair and the way you held yourself were completely different. He had such a clear picture of you in the school uniform that it almost felt weird seeing you in normal clothes after all this time.

"Hongjoong!", the members had gathered around an were all looking at him. "Come on, lets' start the practice", San said and nodded for him to join them.

He let the members leave before him while he standing outside the practice room, using the excuse of thanking everyone for a good job to be able see you. He smiled a bit when he looked inside to see you still packing up your stuff. You had this habit, even when you were young, to always be the last one to leave. You said it left a good impressions of the employer or teacher to be the last one to leave, it showed dedication.

"y/n.", you froze when you heard your name being called out by that familiar voice that had called your name hundreds, no thousands of times before. You hadn't realized that he'd seen you, but forced yourself to relax and turn around.

"Hongjoong", you gave him a smile. A smile that had always been reserved for him, a smile that you never could hold back when talking to him. "It's been a long time", he walked closer to you, but still keeping a safe distance.

"Yeah, I didn't know you had started dancing professionally", you nodded and picked up your bag from the floor.

"I kind of found a loophole in my parents demands in terms of collage", your smile turned mischievous. "I studied dancing.", he laughed at your statement and after a few moments you joined in.

"I'm happy that you followed your dream, you always looked the happiest when you were dancing.", he smiled and for a few seconds you could see the younger Hongjoong, the one who used to tie your shoelaces so you didn't have to kneel in a skirt.

"… Thank you.", you smile and fiddled with the strap of your bag. "I've followed you guys, I love your music. Well, I always did but I'm proud that others feel the same, and that its going so well for you", Hongjoong's heart ached at your words, he wanted to reach out and take your hand or hug you, like he used to do a long time ago.

"Thank you", the two of you stood for a while, looking at each other and… just getting used with the idea of being with each other again.

After a few moments your phone beeped.

"Well… I have to go, my ride is here", you smiled and walked past him.

"You could… text me sometime if you want", he turned around to face you, and you stopped. "We could get a coffee or something. My number is the same, if you still remember it?", it sounded as if he were questioning you or something, but that wasn't his intention… at least he didn't think he meant it that way. But you just turned around and gave him a smile

"I remember", and it felt like he could finally breath. He didn't know why that had such an effect on him but it just made him relived that you still had his number.

"Good… or well not good but… you know what I mean", Hongjoong sighed and you just laughed.

"I'll text you", you waved with your phone in hand. "See you at practice tomorrow", he smiled as you turned around.

"See you!", he yelled and stayed for a few moments after you left, just embracing the feeling that was growing in his chest.

Yunho: You still remember pretty clearly when that tall boy moved in next door to you. You were five at that time and were standing outside watching as the movers where carrying stuff into the house next to you. Your mom and dad were inside, but you had creeped outside to watch who was moving in next door, trying to peek through the fence that was separating the two lawns.

"Hello", you almost jumped at the sudden word and turned your gaze to the side. There was a small boy, about your age you would guess, standing on the sidewalk next to you.

"Hello, are you the one moving in next door?", the boy nodded.

"Yes. I'm Jeong Yun ho, I'm five years old", you clapped your hands and nodded.

"Hello! I'm y/full/n and I'm also five years old and I live over here!", you pointed to your own house. "Do you want to be friends?", The boy seemed to consider it for a few moments before nodding.

"Yes!"

And since that day it was almost like you and Yunho was pushed together by all forces of the universe (mostly your parents to be honest). The two of you went to the same school, in the same class, your parent got along great so it wasn't unusual for the two of you to have joined dinners.

The first time in your life that you basically didn't see Yunho every single day of the week was when he became a trainee and you went abroad to go to collage. But since the two of you were so used to seeing each other you were in contact pretty often and even if you didn't actually see each other for a very long time, you still kept on being in each others daily life.

(a/n: Sorry for the short part but it's hard to write a longer "first meeting" that doesn't involve them playing tag or something. Promises that other parts will be longer <3)

Yeosang: He was out skating to clear his head, it had been a rough week and he feared if he didn't sooth his anger he would take it out on the members.

So he had gone to a park where it was pretty usual for skaters to be, so it was rare that anyone would get angry at people skating by. What was unusual was that there was a bright orange piano in the middle of the grass area. At first he didn't think much of it, he knew there were campaigns to get people to sign up for piano lessons and if his mind didn't deceive him one of the public stunts they used was to randomly drop pianos around town.

But then he saw you. You were sitting at the piano, hair removed from your face and fingers moving over the keys. He removed his headphones and the soft melody filled the air. It seemed as if no one was paying attention to you except from him, and he was spellbound. He stood maybe 15-20 meters away and just stared, he didn't know why you made him feel like his heart was going to jump out of his chest but you did.

He slowly walked closer, taking in every detail that became clearer as he walked closer. The way your eyebrows moved with the emotions of the melody, the color of your nail polish, the way you some how managed to not realize that he was now standing next to you. But he didn't say anything, he just watched you and the way you just seemed to blend in with your music.

When the music ended he started to clap, which made you jump a bit.

"Oh!", you turned around and looked at him, not prepared to actually see anyone that was watching. "Oh, thank you!", you smiled brightly and when you met his gaze you thought your brain had stopped for a few moments. You didn't see much of his face, basically only his eyes since ha had a mask and a hat on, but it was enough to make you lose your trail of thought.

"Did you compose the song?", you stared at him for a few seconds. "Oh, I'm sorry. I'm Kang Yeosang.", he reached out a hand and you slowly took it.

"I'm y/n. And yes, I did.", you felt how heat rose to you cheeks and carefully let go of his hand.

"Do you play professionally?", you nodded.

"Sometimes I do, but it's more of a hobby. I'm a teacher.", you smiled at him and he nodded. The two of you stared at each other for a few seconds, and you started to realize that he was somewhat familiar.

"I'm sorry, but have we met before? You seem a bit familiar.", now that you think about it even his name sound familiar. He reached up to tug his hat down a bid further and shook his head.

"I hear that often, but no we haven't met before", he smiled and you nodded slowly and out of sheer luck you glanced down on your phone.

"Oh, I'm sorry! I have to run, I have a lesson to teach in twenty minutes!", you stood up and collected your bag from the ground.

"Oh, okay. You better hurry.", he sounded a bit confused and was kind of unsure what to do next. He just knew, somewhere deep inside of him, that he would regret letting you go.

"Wait..!", you stopped before you even started to run and turned back at him. "Can I have your number?", and for some reason you didn't even hesitate.

"Yes, it's-", normally you would never, because who would like a stranger to just be able to call you in the middle of the night, but you had a feeling that you wouldn't really mind if he did.

-----

Masterlist

[theflyingfeeling]

it's my day off and I have already had one formal phone call and I'm now waiting for my new desk chair to be ready for pickup and I had an exhaustive day yesterday hosting vaalikahvit for five adults, one toddler and two dogs, so may I pleeeeaaaaaasssseeee get to fuck around and imagine blorbo nonsense and draft an AU fic I'll never write because I still haven't made that sideblog for this kinda shit instead of doing anything useful?? 😩🙏

so today I'm thinking of a no-band-AU semi-inspired by this post I made a week ago

in which Olli and Aleksi have recently moved in together in their new fancy house and they're so happy and in love and having a lot of sex (yes this is an important plot detail 🥰)

(spoiler alert: there is no plot. not even a little bit (hence I won't be writing this))

their relationship had a controversial start because they were still dating other people when they fell in love

Joonas is pining for Joel who's in a toxic on/off relationship with Samy

Joel may be struggling with something else too idk haven't decided, but Joonas is there for him always and he loves Joel so so much

as for Tommi and Niko: maybe Tommi and Olli used to be an item at some point, although he's not the one Olli broke up with to be with Aleksi

and maybe Joonas and Niko had something going on but Niko ended it because he saw how in love with Joel Joonas was

so Niko and Tommi have lots of deep discussions about whether it's weird for Tommi to see Olli with Aleksi (not really because it's been a while and he can see how happy Olli is now (way happier than he was with his previous partner))

and about how it is for Niko to see Joonas suffering so much because of Joel (it's hard but there's not much niko can do about it is there)

and yeah they end up spending the night together at some point 👀 they decide to keep it casual and low-key though so they tell no one

eventually it becomes maybe a little more than just friends hooking up but they're still sorta chill about it and it feels very natural (for Tommi it's better than the random one-night-stands he's been having and for Niko it's definitely better than worrying about Joonas all time time)

and yeah, as it is a non-band-AU I've also given some thought to what they all could be doing instead of being in a band (which is my favourite part of non-band-AUs hehe)

first of all, Tommi is a paramedic because I recently re-watched this old interview in which they all tell the what they'd be doing for a living if they weren't musicians in a band and that's Tommi's answer

ngl it would be kinda funny if I gave everyone the occupation they mention in the video but I think 'gravedigger' for Niko would be a tad too gloomy for the purposes of this AU lol, so he's a writer. a struggling one maybe, but still, and he spends a lot of time in his head (very in-character I knoooooooww <3)

Olli is a graphic designer at a... ummm... a place where graphic designers work? idk just some company, he works from home a lot (so that he can have sex with his bf during his breaks)

Aleksi is still a producer, has a fancy-ass studio in the house. Robin is one of the artists he works with, because of course he is

Olli and Aleksi secretly want to ask Robin if he'd be up for a threesome but he's a literal puppy and oblivious and they don't know how to bring it up lol

and maybe Johnny's Aleksi's co-producer and they also fantasize about having threesome with him 😂 sorry yes they are very horny and kinky in this AU

not sure what Joel and Joonas could be doing, but I like to imagine them as co-workers in some kinda music business or whatever. maybe they're also roommates, just to make it extra painful for Joonas 😭 and maybe Joel is a musician on the side (plays covers at bars etc.), because I simply can't imagine him another career than music

(Joonas goes to see his every single gig, sometimes without Joel knowing it)

a random "scene" I've thought of includes Niko and Joonas coming over to test the new sauna at the Matela-Kaunisvesi residence, but because Niko and Joonas feel awkward having sauna together, they end up mixing the pairs and so we have Aleksi and Niko having deep discussions in the sauna and Joonas and Olli talking about sex while waiting for their turn lol (they've been friends since forever and maybe had some experiments together when they were teens so it's very natural for them)

but yeah, the reason why I'm not writing this AU is because I have no clear plot for it 😔 but honestly? sometimes it's fun just creating these AUs and characters in my head 🥺

I wish I could write all these ideas into actual stories but I'm scared of biting off more than I can chew, so I intimidate and overwhelm myself from even giving it a fair try 😭

so that's it pretty much! if anyone wants to help me figure out an actual story idea out of this, you know where to find me 👋

next I think I'm gonna go keep on procrastinating by creating Olli & Aleksi's fancy-ass house on The Sims 4 byeeeeeee

[ldub0775]

what is a car, actually?

a post about what people mean when they say "car"

hmm yes this is certainly a car related Take™ and i would like to put my thoughts into words and quite possibly images

there are a number of ways in which you can classify and categorize vehicles: body style, chassis type, purpose, etc. and this is a conflation of all of these.

first, a "car" is a term to describe a small number of the various body styles available - generally, but not always, something with a 3-box design; 2 or 4 doors; 3 pillars; and a separated, covered trunk.

you would be hard pressed to find anyone calling that first image anything other than a "car"

and yes, in this way, a van is distinct from the traditional sedan and coupe designs, usually with 3 doors, no B pillar, and an attached cargo area.

i could see and understand an argument like this, from a vehicle design perspective, but generally it would be easier to categorize stuff more granularly, into sedan, coupe, hatchback, liftback, SUV, CUV, van, etc.

second, there's chassis type - in the very olden days practically everything used ladder chassis, so there was very little distinguishing a "car" mechanically from a "truck", but in the past 50 years or so cars and trucks have separated in chassis design, with sedan and coupe chassis generally being unibody and trucks keeping ladder frames.

vans, as a rule, follow no rules. small vans tend to use chassis derived from "car" (that is, small unibody) platforms, large vans tend to use ladder chassis, and certain vans are weird, and do neither:

(this is referred to as "light truck" or "partial" monocoque because the cab portion of the van uses a unibody design but the back half uses a ladder frame)

people will generally refer to vans or even pickups with a small, "car"-derived unibody frame as "cars", whereas people tend to refer to trucks or vans with ladder frames as "trucks" and "vans", distinguishing them from cars explicitly.

again, i can see an argument for doing this.

third, and what mr. cars in posts was referring to, is purpose. "cars" are passenger vehicles, "vans" are cargo vehicles.

so, then, what the fuck is this?

it is, ostensibly, a cargo vehicle - it can carry large amounts of stuff and in fact has been designed to do that - but the vast majority of people who buy it will never use it that way. is it a passenger vehicle or a cargo vehicle? is it both? is it neither?

you've once again come upon a situation where it's difficult or impossible to cleanly divide stuff into two categories without any overlap, and the solution is once again to divide stuff into as many categories as are necessary. a truck is a truck and a sedan is a sedan. they may, and often do, serve similar functions, but having that level of granularity in how you can categorize things is very useful.

so, is a van a car?

idk thats a stupid question go touch grass

[stickers-on-a-laptop]

fuck it talking about the con!!! aka POWER MORPHICON 2022

the woman nearly didn't give me my wristband on pickup day. ma'am i needed that. thankfully i realized i didn't get one and when i got sent away without one, a dude ran after me and gave it to me

when i went to get the autograph i paid for in advance from ozawa ryuta, they had no prints, they had no prints, i go to the panel, they're out of prints. so had to go back the next day. they learned my....well not my face, i was wearing masks the entire time, but they learned me real fast lmao. my hat i guess. idk. the terrifying ordeal of being known, but only for 3 days. because on day 3 i went back for an autograph for wakamatsu toshihide and they were like "oh hello again" lmao. also i got a pic with wakamatsu even tho all i paid for was an autograph

THE PICTURES THEY TAKE ARE SO FAST. WAM BAM THANK YOU MA'AM. i ended up going back and paying for a duo picture along with ozawa's pic. they're on the mantle covering pictures of my sisters

THE PANEL. OH MY GOD THE PANEL. henshin poses. both of them shooting each other while the other was DOING the henshin poses. ozawa was a troll and would hold the mic near wakamatsu when he wasn't looking. THE WONDERFUL WOMAN WHO TRANSLATED FOR US. people mostly called wakamatsu "wakamatsu" but called ozawa "ryota-san". the stories they told about being on set. i took two videos and i'm hoping they put it on youtube (look i wanted to enjoy it. i was in the third row on the end and had a FANTASTIC view)

i bought so many stickers, some ranger keys, the sarubrother/shinichi plushes, a zenkaiger pin, and two hero vision magazines (vols 30 and 36). i also got a freebie peanut ooo for going to the kamen rider fan club panel.

it was so much fun. definitely worth the [redacted amount] i paid.

[write-like-wright]

u asked for requests so im here to comply😳could you maybe do a ”should you date them” with the defense attorneys in the series?? or just generally some other characters?? bc the prosecutor one added like 20 years to my lifespan lmao. hope u have a great day!!

I'm so glad you liked it!!! Here's the sequel, just for you <33

Original post here

Should you date them: Ace Attorney defense lawyers edition

Phoenix Wright

yes, you really should

probably one of the best, if not the best, boyfriends in the series

wanna get married? husband material

wanna have kids? father material

has a tendency to casually adopt children actually, could be an issue at some point

worships you

you know how some guys brag about how they'd die for you?

Nick would unironically die for you

may even come close a few times but I'm pretty sure he's canonically invincible (eating poisoned glass and falling off a burning bridge, who?? tis' but a scratch!)

massive gossip

gets home after an investigation and immediately starts like "you won't believe what I found out about Gumshoe today"

somehow surprisingly mature and good at keeping secrets in spite of everything

has a lot of really cool friends!!! and larry

have you seen those shoulders tho?? mans built like a dorito, smashing through massive wooden doors n stuff

biggest monthly expense is hair gel

claims his hair is natural but you know better

don't be the big spoon, he will poke your eyes out

can somewhat read your mind tho? a bit off-putting but ok

marry him before Edgeworth someone else does

Mia Fey

hell yeah, dude

cool, calm, collected

has literal superpowers

successful business owner at 27!!! unironical #girlboss

went from being a lame rookie to a literal legend with her own practice and an apprentice in, like, three years

she's so smart, I fear her

has the fashion sense of a female character drawn by a cis man... oh, wait

god help whoever tries to hurt you

will literally kick their ass to hell

family-oriented

believes in second chances

took phoenix under her wing after everything, mia has the patience of a saint honestly

drops cool oneliners in everyday speech like a marvel character

curve lovers rejoice

doesn't mind being called dorky nicknames

major wife material

Diego Armando/Godot

I already covered him in my prosecutors list,, literally did not occur to me to split Diego and Godot into two lists

but to sum up, if I had to choose between the two, I'd go for Diego

i like my men like i like my coffee - tall, dark and bitter

^^ eats up pickup lines like those

Apollo Justice

Polly is such a sweet babey boy, please be nice to him

short king

low on confidence, makes up for it by being loud

*voice cracking* HE'S FINE!!!!!!!!!!!!

your neighbours will hate him

such a pushover, will do anything you ask of him

sensitive boy, not afraid to cry

pretends not to be dorky - is very dorky

consumes nerdy media almost exclusively (canonically a Whovian! but Capcom can't say that)

bikes everywhere and is apparently good with a hula hoop

Polly got cake is what I'm saying

have you seen his cool street style clothes?? sk8er boi

very grounded, literally

might play around and hold your hand for comfort

won't come to visit you if you live on a high floor, sorry

cat dad!!! cat pics!!! yes!!!

about 7 different tragic backstories

new secret family member drops every week

stares at you when you speak sometimes

is he jealous of Klavier?? does he have a crush on him??? who knows but it's funny watching them interact

bicon

spends way too much time on his hair

someone please date him, he deserves some love

Athena Cykes

holy childhood trauma batman

been through a lot

total empath

if you're sad, she's sad

can kinda read your mind... why is this such a common thing in AA games?? I like my privacy

super energetic

will drag you to the gym, take you on hikes, practice wrestling moves on you...

you will always be sore but also in the best shape of your life

has minus 25 chill

incapable of keeping secrets from you

her weird goth convict uncle threatens you every once in a while

she promises he means it in a friendly way

loves europop

way too accomplished for her age, everyone in this game is so smart, help

i feel like she'd enjoy theme parks idk

date her, she's baby and she needs some TLC

Kristoph Gavin

no

he's scary

thinks he's better than you

thinks he's better than everyone

has the audacity to wear white shoes with a blue suit??? are you going to prom????? sir????

obsessed with phoenix wright to an alarming degree

perfectly manicured nails!

the kind of guy who warns you never to go into his basement

nice on the outside but it's all fake

deeply rooted issues even he's unaware of

if you like drillbit hair consider Klavier instead

Ryunosuke Naruhodo

world's biggest baby

secretly a bitch

loves to clown on people

fake it till you make it

has no clue what he's doing most of the time

very determined in spite of that

everyone loves him

so many cool friends

cries at the thought of your bare ankles

physically incapable of walking by a shop and not buying something he doesn't need

"look, i got you a gift!!" "awh, how sweet! ...what is it?" "i don't know, i'll ask Mr Sholmes when he gets home!"

good with his tongue

may be somewhat trapped in the closet

has literally zero chill

remember when he just casually chased armed robbers??

must be a family trait

Iris interrogates you about your intentions with her brother

she has a gun

you have no privacy at his place

Sholmes crashes your dates

his bromance with Kazuma sometimes drops the "b"

becomes ultra cool eventually

hop into that time machine and date Ryu's ass, but be prepared to deal with period-appropriate homoeroticism and misogyny lol

Extra little shout out to Kazuma Asogi for that one time where he was a defense lawyer for, like, an hour and a half and somehow managed to cram 50 of the horniest one-liners in the game in that very limited time. Date him.

[drabbles-mc]

Just The Thing

Bishop Losa x F!Reader

Request by my fave @est1887: I have this idea for a request for bishop I saw this video of this guy using a flamethrower to clear his driveway of snow and I’m like that’s hilarious and perfect so since Texas just got a crazy snow and ice storm why not the same for Santo padre. Bishop comes to his lady rescue because she has to go to work at the hospital but she’s can’t get out of her driveway because it’s iced and on a hill, like it’s the apocalypse of snow. Idk where to go from there but I got this from a prompt list. “Well I suppose that’s one way of doing things. Wouldn’t have ever thought to use a flamethrower, myself.” “Is it even legal to own this many?” I can see him now looking like rambo with a cigar and a flamethrower clearing her driveway like el Rey de los Mayans Lolol her knight in shining leather lol

Warnings: language, Bishop being extra and loving every second of it

Word Count: 1.7k

A/N: I loved the slight sense of chaos of this request lmao. Bishop really didn’t come to play with Mother Nature. Enjoy! xo

Bishop Losa Taglist: @masterlistforimagines @sincerelyasomebody @sadeyesgf @thesandbeneathmytoes @tomhardydallasstarsgirl @multiyfandomgirl40 @sillygoose6969 @queenbeered @louisianalady @gemini0410 @paintballkid711 @chibsytelford @yourwonkywriter @sesamepancakes @arveeee @mayans-sauce @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @plentyoffandoms @georgiaaintnopeach @twistnet @themoonandthewicked @garbinge @bucky-iss-bae @encounterthepast @everyhowlmarksthedead @rosieposie0624 @mylittlelonelyappreciationtoo @mijop @xladymacbethx @blessedboo @holl2712 @lakamaa12​

Join my group-chat here: (X) ​

You had never heard of there being snow in Santo Padre. It was the equivalent of hell freezing over—it just didn’t happen. Until it did.

You woke up and your body was instantly covered in goosebumps. You rubbed your arms to try and fight off the chill as you went to get out of bed. The hardwood floors were freezing against your feet and you immediately went to find a pair of sandals to wear around the house.

You peaked out the window in your kitchen and your eyes grew wide as you looked at the snow that was covering your front yard. Part of you was wondering if you were dreaming, because the entire scene in front of you just didn’t look right. You sighed, running your hands down your face. There was nothing you could do about it now, so you decided to get dressed and ready before you further assessed the situation.

You pulled on your heaviest hoodie over your scrubs before you headed outside to see just what you were dealing with. As you were stepping down off of your front steps, you nearly wiped out on the path that lead from your door to the driveway. You managed to catch yourself on the railing to your steps before your head smacked off the concrete. Carefully lifting yourself up, you took a closer look at the front path and driveway. With a heavy sigh, you realized that along with the thing blanket of snow, there was also a layer of ice underneath it all. You knew that your car wasn’t going to be good enough to get you to work.

You managed to get back inside without any further incidents and immediately called Bishop. He picked up on the second ring, concern heavy in his voice, “Hey, everything alright?”

“Think you could come over and help me out?” you couldn’t even try to hide the exasperation in your voice as you talked to him, “My driveway is a mess and I know for a fact my car isn’t gonna be able to make it down the hill safely. I was wondering if you had a plow at the scrapyard or salt for my driveway or just, something, anything that will make it so I can get to work today.”

He chuckled, not that he found your distress amusing but there was something about your tone that brought it out of him. “Of course, I’ll be over in a little bit. Don’t worry about it.”

“Thank you. Drive safe, Obispo. People are going to be fucking nuts out there today, I can feel it.”

“Yes ma’am.”

You hung up the phone feeling a little more relieved than you had been before the call. Worst case scenario, you had to use some sick time and miss your shift. But you really didn’t want to. Hopefully, even if your car wouldn’t be able to survive the trek down your driveway, Bishop’s would and he could bring you to work instead.

Hardly ten minutes later, you heard the sound of Bishop’s pickup making its way up your driveway. The fact that he was able to do that was reassuring—you knew you had a guaranteed way to get to work if he couldn’t make it so your car could get out.

He let himself into your house, calling out for you as he brushed the snow off the bottoms of his boots. You walked over to him, instantly feeling more relieved just at the sight of him. You walked up and he wrapped you in a hug, placing a soft kiss on your lips.

“Heard you were having some trouble with the snow?” he said with a chuckle as you trailed your fingers through his beard.

You groaned and nodded, “Yea. Since when the fuck does it snow in Santo Padre?”

He shook his head, “No fucking idea. But I think I have just the thing to help you out.”

He motioned for you to follow him back outside. You carefully followed his exact footsteps, since he clearly was able to get into your house without falling and hurting himself. He walked over to the bed of his truck and pulled down the tailgate. You were a little surprised that he didn’t bring one with a plow attachment, but you figured he had some sort of plan in mind regardless.

You peaked around his shoulder to see what he had hiding in the bed of his truck. Truthfully, you had no idea what you had been expecting to see. But what you were met with was certainly outside your own realm of possibility.

“Bishop, is that…are those…” you felt like even finishing the sentence was going to sound ridiculous.

He chuckled at the surprised expression on your face, “Go ahead, ask.”

“Is it even legal to have this?” you looked at the device he was holding in his hands, “I feel like this isn’t legal…at all.”

“It’s only illegal if you get caught.”

“Bish, no,” you laughed, “That’s not how that works.”

“You want to get to work, right?”

You chuckled and nodded, “I mean, yea. I don’t exactly want you setting yourself on fire in the process, though.”

He shook his head as he leaned in and kissed you, “I won’t.”

The confidence with which he said it made you assume that it wasn’t anywhere near the first time he used it. You weren’t sure if that was comforting or concerning. In your mind, the last thing any of the guys in the MC needed to be playing with was a flamethrower. But it was too late to worry about any of that now.

You stepped back, nervous but eager to see what he was about to get himself into. He shut the tailgate and took a deep breath. You chuckled to yourself as you saw the excitement growing in his eyes. You could tell that he was thinking to himself that life didn’t give him enough opportunities to use a flamethrower.

He made an initial pass over part of your driveway and you looked on in shock and awe as the snow and ice disappeared in a matter of seconds. Bishop turned back to you with a proud smile on his face and you couldn’t help but to laugh and gesture for him to continue. You pulled your sweatshirt tighter around you as you watched him proceed to clear off your driveway. There were a lot of moments in your life with Bishop that left you thinking that you couldn’t make it up even if you tried, but this was definitely nearing the top of your list. He walked so nonchalantly down the driveway, waving the flames with as much ease as though he was watering your lawn with a garden hose.

It was quite the image, his kutte draped over his sweatshirt as he unleashed fire on the expanse of your driveway. You wondered if any of your neighbors were watching, and what they were thinking if they happened to catch a glimpse of any of this. No one would start trouble, knowing who Bishop was, but you wondered if any of them would want him to hit their driveways next. You chuckled at the thought of Bishop going from house to house like he was selling Girl Scout Cookies, only he was offering snow removal services by fire.

What you had initially thought was an insurmountable problem, Bishop solved in the matter of about fifteen minutes. He walked back up your driveway towards you with the flamethrower perched back against his shoulder as though it were a rifle. You laughed when you saw the cigar hanging loosely from his lips. It wasn’t even lit—you knew he was just doing it because he knew it would look extra badass and he loved getting a good laugh out of you.

He set the flamethrower back into his truck and you walked over to him, unable to stop smiling and shaking your head.

“Well that’s one way of doing things,” you glanced into the bed of his pickup, “Wouldn’t have ever thought to use a flamethrower, myself.”

He chuckled as he pulled you into a hug, “That’s what you’ve got me for, sweetheart. I’m the man with solutions to all of your problems.”

You rolled your eyes at his cockiness but smiled, “Yea, something like that,” you plucked the cigar from his lips, “Pretty sure that’s a giant fire hazard, though,” you tucked it into the pocket of his kutte before leaning in to give him a kiss on the lips, “Thank you, by the way.”

He smiled, “Anything for you.”

“I thought I was just going to have to ask you for a ride to work,” you laughed, “But this works too.”

“I can come and do another sweep later if you want? Just to be safe.”

You shook your head, able to see right through him, “I think I’ll be alright. Go lock that thing back up somewhere that the guys can’t get to it.”

“Yes ma’am,” he pulled you in, kissing you hard on the lips.

“I love you, you arsonist.”

He chuckled, brushing his nose lightly against yours, “I love you too. Let me know when you get to work safely, please.”

“Of course,” you nodded.

You stepped back and watched him climb into his truck. He offered up one small last wave before throwing his truck in reverse and rolling down your driveway. You stood there for a few moments and admired his handiwork, still unable to fully believe what your morning had been like. With a slight shake of your head, you walked over and grabbed your bags from the front step of your house before locking the door. With a slight sigh, you strolled over and hopped into your car. As you turned the key in the ignition, you wondered how many other people weren’t going to make it in to work, or were at least going to be late. You wondered if you were going to tell them how you managed to make it in, or if that was a story you were just going to keep to yourself.

[blueprint-han]

pickup lines ↠ hhj ♡

             ↳ inspired from the song i love you by treasure. (no relation to the song idk why i was inspired)

genre: fluff type: drabble word count: 1.9 K ⇥ warnings: none except one (1) teeny tiny kiss (just a peck nothing too suggestive), lot’s of fluff and pickup lines and that’s a warning. 🥺 IF THIS DOESN’T SHOW UP IN THE TAGS THIS TIME I WILL FUCKING FUME. network tag: @stayverse​

↯ note: uhfuyewhf please forgive this random outburst that overcame me, fluffy boyfriend hyunjin is just !!!!. Also my first fic woo hoo !! no particular premise of this blurb idk what this is for but i’m still gonna write it. ⇥ dawn.☀️

A long, deep sigh.

A cheek pressed against his palm, resting his head against his elbow as he stared off into space. The library was relatively quiet around him, no other sound other than the timely flipping of the page by the two other people sitting in the almost empty, spacious room.

And of course, the sound of you humming the tune that poured through the earphones you were sporting. Hyunjin could almost swear that he would fall asleep from the tune, if it weren’t for the hard wood underneath him.

Hyunjin pouted when he noticed you completely immersed in your sociology 101 textbook. Studying to be a data analyst was hard, and while it was both yours and Hyunjin’s dream job, (instead of focusing on the plethora of books lying on the table) Hyunjin found staring at the love of his life much more interesting than analyzing any sort of data.

Sunlight poured in through the open window. It was still fairly early in the morning, and while Hyunjin hated waking up early, he was more than ready to do so the moment you called him the previous night, begging him to tag along on the pretext that “it would be boring to go alone.”

And the moment you entered the library, you picked out your books and quickly drowned yourself in them, and in less than five minutes, Hyunjin found himself the one who was “bored.”

You felt a poke at the side of your arm, startling you out of your concentration.

“Hey.”

Pulling your earphones off, you smiled at Hyunjin. “Yeah?”

“You said you’d be the one bored but now I’m the one bored.” Hyunjin humphed, folding his arms across his chest. “Remind me why I accompanied you?”

You laughed, gently pinching his cheek. “Because you’re a good boyfriend.”

Being the dramatic llama that he was, Hyunjin rolled his eyes, though the subtle smile on his lips told you otherwise. “Fine finish it soon now.” He pointed before poking your arm again. “Or I’m gonna leave you and get subway for myself.”

You gasped in fake betrayal, clutching your heart as your eyes widened. It was a known fact that Hyunjin was too smitten for you, far too caring and considerate to leave you alone in the library without breakfast. And you loved to tease him about it.

Anyways, the act faltered in two seconds the moment you giggled at him.

“You’re adorable, have I ever told you that?” You mimicked his position as you faced him, admiring how he looked at the moment. Heavily lidded eyes, messy black hair, and the sunlight from behind him almost made him look like he was glowing.

At your words, Hyunjin felt the tiniest blush creep up his cheeks as he shyly admitted. “You tell me every day!”

“Well I’m going to keep telling you that, so…” you shrugged, turning your attention back to your books as hyunjin internally groaned. The library didn’t allow use of phones either, so he couldn’t just start playing around with it to kill time.

Brushing his hair off his forehead, his eyes sparkled when a thought popped into his head, a smug look on his face. Quickly grabbing his cellphone from the back of his pocket., his fingers moved against the screen — not quick enough for the librarian to notice — but at this point, it hardly mattered. The librarian was almost asleep on his table — he must’ve not adjusted to the early hours of his job very well.

When your phone dinged — signifying the arrival of a message — Hyunjin watched intently as you picked up your phone and tapped the screen a couple of times. When you grinned widely, Hyunjin knew his message had the desired affect. In all honesty, that was Hyunjin — always looking for subtle ways to tell you he loved you, and ways to keep you smiling and happy.

You reached over to push your reading classes up your nose before turning to look at Hyunjin’s direction, raising your eyebrow playfully.

Hyunjin:  Guess what I’m wearing?

He had a similar grin on his lips as he silently coaxed you to reply, and so you did just that.

You: What? Your uniform? 🤭

Knowing Hyunjin, you knew that the answer would not be so simple, but nevertheless you curiously waited for the answer.

When the reply came in, the smile on your face turned into a wide, ear-to-ear smile, cheeks almost hurting with how widely you were grinning. You tried desperately trying not to alert anyone of what you were doing, but it was getting harder with how adorable Hyunjin was being.

Hyunjin: No, the smile you gave me. You: usdyuegwydedh 🥺🥺🥺 You: you cheesehead! 😘😤 Hyunjin: But I’m your cheesehead - ;D

Hyunjin, still staring at you was in a similar state. He admitted that watching you laugh and smile was something he could never grow tired of. He treasured that moment, and it always seemed like you lightened up the whole room with just your smile.

“Hey!” you looked at him, books totally forgotten as you stared into his eyes.

“They say the eyes are the mirror to the soul.” Hyunjin said, straightening up his posture as you eyed him confusedly. “You must have one beautiful soul.”

Your jaw dropped open at the sudden explosion of pickup lines coming from your boyfriend, rolling your eyes to the back of your head as you felt yourself grow coy at his compliment.

“Oh gosh, what’s gotten into you.” You whispered, slapping his arm slightly. Hyunjin smiled devilishly when he noticed your beaming face, feeling oddly relaxed — but then again, he was always relaxed when he looked at you.

“ On a scale from 1 to 10 you’re a 9 and I’m the 1 you need. “

You gasped, squealing as you slapped his arm yet again.

“Oh lord, your cheeseball stop being so cute my heart can’t handle this.” You pouted, and Hyunjin bit back the overwhelming desire to squish your cheeks.

He always did everything in his power to make you happy, and it never changed, even after a year of dating. The love between you was pure in every way, and you couldn’t help but feel lucky to have such a caring and lovely angel for a boyfriend.

“Come on, I need to focus now, just half an hour more?” You managed to convince him (only after giving him your traditional puppy eyes which you knew he would never be able to resist), before turning your attention back tot he book.

Twenty minutes passed. Hyunjin had found himself a book to read in the mean time, but he wasn’t the type to be patient. It wasn’t ling before he reached for his phone yet again.

When your phone dinged again, you quickly snapped your attention from where it was fixed on Hyunjin, hiding it under the table as you stealthily read the message.

Hyunjin: Can we go eat now?

You laughed to yourself, brushing hair off your forehead before replying.

You: There’s still 10 minutes left 🤭 Hyunjin: Please I’m hungry 🥺 Hyunjin: pls pls pls pls pls pls pls 🥺

You quickly looked at the watch before sighing, smiling at Hyunjin before shutting your book and stretching your arms out. You’d been there for about two hours, since your college library opened fairly early. As expected, Hyunjin let out a silent squeal of victory, quickly helping you pack up before getting out of his seat, all to eager to get out of the cramped space.

“Remind me to never tag along with you again.” He chided playfully, and like you said before, you knew Hyunjin was too soft to be able to ignore your pleas — and even if he did, you had your secret weapon: puppy eyes. You only giggled and nodded. “yeah, whatever.” Allowing him to intertwine your fingers together as he pulled you out of the building.

Once you were out of the building and walking towards the nearest subway, you decided to go the park (which was incidentally opposite to the subway shop). As you walked in the almost empty park, you munched on your sandwich slowly, whilst Hyunjin had already devoured it all. You figured he didn’t drink his coffee before coming to the library, and you didn’t bother to ask either.

Hyunjin had still not et go of your hand, and every once in a while — out of pure habit — he would squeeze it gently, just as a form of reassurance. It never failed to warm your heart.

The both of you found a clean bench under the cool shade of a tree, enjoying the breeze as you finished your sandwich; while Hyunjin simply looked around the rows of trees and plants that were planted along the edge of the ground.

When Hyunjin caught your gaze on him once again, another thought popped into his head as he smiled yet again. Personally, he had no idea how he was acting so cheesy today, but seeing your reaction did not encourage him to stop.

“Do you have a map?” You boyfriend asked all of a sudden, and you frowned confusedly. Of course, you’d let your guard down from the previous explosion of cheesiness, which only fueled it more.

“Why do you ask?” You murmured.

“Because I keep getting lost i your eyes.”

“Aghhhh,” you groaned, covering your face with your palms as you looked at Hyunjin. “Where do you even get these from?” You pouted at him.

“I don’t know, maybe you bring it out of me?” Hyunjin shrugged.

“Hmph,” You pinched his soft cheek lightly, smiling as you did so.

Next, he grinned, tilting his head to the side as he gazed into your orbs. You sensed another attack coming ahead, but did nothing to stop it, because deep down, you were enjoying this way too much.

“You know at this angle, as the light hits your eyes.” A dizzy smile on his face as he gently fixed his hair, tucking some of the strands behind his ear. “I can see myself and I look great.”

That caused you to close your eyes, erupting into a fit of giggles as your eyes morphed into the softest of crescents.

Hyunjin opened his mouth yet again, but this time, you were quick to stop him.

“Ah, no young man. No more, or I’m gonna combust.” You tucked your own hair behind your ear.

“Nooooo,” He whined, pouting as he gave you the softest look that he could muster. “One more, please? Just one. Please please please please please-”

“okay fine! One more, and then no more, deal?” You looked at him smugly, and he nodded.

“Okay so, kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?”

Hyunjin had chosen that line for a joke, expecting to get yet another slap on his arm, or a shy turn of your head. What he didn’t expect was for you to blush profusely before you leaned in, pressing a soft peck to his lips.

When you pulled away, Hyunjin’s eyes were widened as you stared at each other silently for two seconds, before you snapped your fingers in front of him, pulling him out of his daze.

“You were wrong.” You stated as nonchalantly as possible, shrugging at him as you got up, grabbing your bag as you began walking towards the exit.

“H-hey, wait for me!” Hyunjin cried, not being able to suppress his smile as he ran towards you, immediately entwining your fingers once again. And the rest of the walk was spent just like that, in peaceful silence as you enjoyed each other’s presence in the cool, moist air.

“You’re such a goofball,” You mumbled at him, gaining his attention as you rubbed your thumb against the back of his hand. And before he could even reply with his loving, playful gaze, you completed the statement yourself, eyes twinkling in content.

“But you’re my goofball.”

↯ note: i pray to every god out there please just show up in the tags for fuck sake i worked hard on this ; - ; ⇥ dawn.☀️

[pascalpanic]

Idk if your still looking for short requests, but I’ve really been in an Ezra mood lately and am basically dying to read more with him in it. Maybe something where he finds/meets you on a planet he’s on for one of his digs, or you get assigned to go on a dig with him? Maybe some smut because he’s been lonely and he usually works alone but having the reader so close to him frustrates the hell out of him?

(You totally don’t have to write this if you don’t wanna, but thank you for doing these! I love your writing!)

Twelve Hours To Pickup (Ezra x f!Reader)

Summary: You and Ezra have twelve hours before your shuttle picks you up. Twelve hours with nothing to do.

W/C: 2.3k

Warnings: SMUT 18+, oral (f receiving), fingering, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it, kiddos), dom/sub elements but not really, lots of dirty talk, reader uses she/her pronouns and is afab. oh, also language ig. one or two spanks.

A/N: YEET this is my first ezra fic and it’s horny but here we go. We’ve been on a smut kick lately but I’m here for it! I was actually really anxious to both write and post this but here we are!

Ezra is a man of extreme amounts of willpower. He can do anything he sets his mind to. Hell, he was conscious while a teenage girl literally sawed his fucking infected arm off. When Ezra is determined, he is not to be fucked with.

That being said, being in such close proximity to you is driving him up the fucking wall.

It’s not like you’re even that close to him. You’re both wearing thick spacesuits, complete with filters and helmets to provide oxygen and keep dangerous air particles out. You’re not exactly doing the most romantic activity either: you’re harvesting aurelac. It’s a disgusting process, gooey shit covering your gloved arms. You’re both experienced prospectors, but it makes you gag every time you do it. Of course you had to be assigned to the biggest mouth in the fucking galaxy.

“What seems to be the matter, little bird?” Ezra coos, smirking. “Such an experienced woman should have no such issue with a minor impediment.”

You shoot him a glare. “Can you talk using smaller words? You sound like you ate a dictionary and you’re vomiting back up,” you snap as you wipe the gunk off your arm and start the process of removing the gem.

Ezra smiles this time. “My sincerest apologies, my gem. I simply verbalize in this manner out of habit.”

You roll your eyes and continue. “I’d hate to hear what you sound like in bed,” you shoot back.

He walks closer to you, abandoning the current rock he’s removing, surprisingly nimbly considering he only has one arm. ��Is that so, little bird?”

You raise your eyebrows. “Stop calling me that and get back to your fucking work, Ezra. You still have one functioning hand, make the best of it.”

The man pouts at you, placing his hand over his heart. “My dear, you’ve wounded my wretched little heart with such a comment.”

“Could’ve said ouch and moved on. I’m not gonna kiss it better, even if I might like to,” you smirk at him, shooing him away with your hand.

The man’s face bears a salacious smirk. “What was that?” He asks.

“Wow, that was the shortest sentence I’ve ever heard you say.” You spray the gem with the liquid in the bottle. “Go do your part and maybe I’ll consider spending a little time with you later.”

Ezra bites his lower lip and stalks off back to his share.

-

You’re almost back at the pod. You’ve walked in silence this entire time, not daring to speak and feed the fire that’s burning between the two of you. When the pod is in sight, Ezra’s last reserve breaks, burns the wick and lights the dynamite. “Well, my dove? Has my share of the aurelac satisfied your standards?” He asks, walking next to you again.

You look over at the container. He harvested significantly more than you did, which further proves your knowledge that he’s fantastic at prospecting. It’s no surprise, you suppose, but it is intriguing. Your eyes travel from the case to his dusty brown eyes, staring back at you. You smirk, and tilt your head. “I’m not sure. Get out of that space suit first and we can see.”

He bites his lip to hold back from spouting off more words. It doesn’t work for long. “Oh, does my eloquence excite you, little bird?” He asks, walking side by side with you now.

“Don’t push it,” you laugh and climb into the pod. The two of you pass through the airlock and you finally strip your space suit off, leaving you in the jumpsuit beneath it.

Ezra does the same. One shoulder is knotted off just below where his arm was severed. His jumpsuit clings tight to his chest, which is muscular, from the sweat inside the suit. He examines you just the way you examine him.

The two of you deposit your aurelac in the corner before finding yourselves standing together. You look over at him. “When is our shuttle coming?”

He looks at the digital watch on his wrist, then back at you. “We have at least 12 hours,” he says, head tilted down but those big eyes looking up. At you.

You pretend to look off and consider something else. “We finished the harvest in record time. I wonder how we could pass the remaining hours,” you sigh, though you both know it’s teasing. You know exactly what you want.

“My dove,” Ezra breathes, a warm hand cupping your face. “I want you.”

Somehow, it’s even hotter when he doesn’t use those big words. “I want you too,” you sigh and your lips crash to his desperately. He pushes you against the wall.

It’s hot and sloppy and desperate. The man is a fantastic kisser, his lips moving perfectly in sync to yours. The pod has busted air conditioning, making it as hot as the surrounding planet, but neither of you care. There’s sweat dripping from your face and from is, and there’s a mutual understanding that that doesn’t matter now. You need each other, badly.

His tongue presses against the seam of your lips and you open your mouth, allowing him in. He groans at the sensation as you rock your hips into his, desperately grinding. He pulls away for a second, his brows scrunching together in the pleasure. “Little bird,” he exhales. “Do you have the implant?”

You nod. “You?”

“But of course. Where would you prefer to be ravished, my glorious being?” He asks, lips finding the skin of your neck and sucking a mark into the tender spot behind your ear.

You cry out and fall back against the wall. “Wherever. Anywhere. Please, Ezra.”

He smacks your ass, making you yelp out even though it only increases the wetness between your thighs. “Make a decision, my dove.”

You’re panting already, and he hasn’t even done anything. “Right here. Right now. Against the wall.”

He smirks at that, nipping into your skin. “Oh, so ruttish for me,” he groans. “Desperate for me to take you.”

“Yes,” you nod, giving into his domineering attitude. “Please, please,” you cry, and he bites the collar of your jumpsuit and unzips the front, pushing it from your shoulders. Your chest is now only covered by a sports bra. You help him remove it and toss it aside, leaving just your lower half covered.

Ezra groans and feels himself harden even further as he sees your chest. “Oh, those exquisite breasts,” he groans, sinking to his knees. He forces you to bend a little as his lips find your nipple, sucking and tugging on it with his teeth. You cry out at the feeling, hands pressed to the wall, and he chuckles. His hand finds your other nipple, rolling it between his fingers. He bites at the skin of your breast, leaving a mark.

He goes lower. His tongue traces your stomach, dipping into your navel. He bites at your stomach too. The man likes to bite, that much is clear. He’s been surprisingly quiet since he’s put his mouth on you.

Ezra shoves down the rest of your jumpsuit and your panties, helping you step out of them before he tosses them aside. His hand firmly grips your thigh, and he kisses up the inside of the soft skin. “May I?” He asks, right before he reaches the pinnacle.

“Please,” you breathe, and he tosses one of your legs over his shoulder.

He’s skilled. That much is easily seen- or, felt- when he instantly latches onto your clit, swirling his tongue around it and sucking on it. His hand comes to your entrance, teasing it slowly with the pad of a finger. You cry out at the feeling and he takes it as your invitation to push two thick fingers inside of you.

As you bite your lip, he looks up at you and smirks. His two fingers are inside of you, and he pulls his mouth away. “Little bird, restraint is the furthest from necessary. There’s not a soul to hear those sultry noises you’re making,” he reminds you before going back to lapping at your clit masterfully.

His fingers curl against that perfect spot deep inside of you, making you cry out in ecstasy. “Ezra,” you whimper.

He smirks and hums a happy sound into you, nudging your clit with his nose as he moves his tongue lower to poke at your entrance, along with his two fingers. He’s pushing them harder and harder, and you bury a hand in his hair, the heel of your hand over his blonde patch. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum,” you warn him, and he just goes harder.

It’s all too much. You cry out his name and grip his hair as your orgasm washes over you, making your toes curl in the boots that remain on you.

He continues steadily through your orgasm, pulling away and sucking on his own fingers once you’re finished. “The nectar of the gods between your thighs,” he murmurs to you, a content smirk on his face. “Are you going to let me destroy you against this wall, my dear?”

You shudder, nodding. “Need your cock. I bet it’s big, isn’t it?” You ask, smirking down at him and running a hand through his hair, toying with his blonde patch.

He shrugs. “Now isn’t the time to play humble, Ezra,” you laugh, removing your leg from his shoulder and pulling him up to kiss him deeply. It’s hot and sloppy again, but slower. Deeper. You moan into his lips and cup his hardened dick, which tents against his jumpsuit.

“Little bird,” he shudders.

You break away and start to unzip his flight suit. You push it off his shoulder and it hangs at his waist, exposing strong a abdomen littered with scars. “Fuck,” you chuckle happily and kiss him again. You push it the rest of the way, along with his boxers, and it exposes his dick. It is large, you were correct, long and maddeningly thick. “Oh, fuck,” you moan again as he steps out of it.

Ezra grabs your hip and turns you around, pushing you into the wall again. His large hand takes both of your wrists and pins them to the wall. “Is that resplendent pussy prepared for me?” He asks, and you nod. “Say it,” he demands, biting your shoulder.

“Fuck! Yes, yes Ezra,” you nod, spreading your stance to allow him between your legs.

“Don’t move them,” he orders you as he lets go of your hands for a moment. With his hand, he lines himself up, notching the tip with your entrance before grabbing your wrists again. “I crave those maddening noises, little bird. Don’t you dare be quiet while I’m destroying that pretty pussy.”

With that, he pushes in. He’s thick, and the stretch is delicious. “Ezra,” you cry out, loving the way the name sounds when it rolls off your tongue. “Don’t hold back, please.”

“I couldn’t if I dreamed of it, dearest,” he groans as he fully sheathes himself deep within you. “So fuckin’ tight for me,” he shudders.

Your hands struggle against his, but his strength wins. “Don’t even think about it,” he orders, gritting his teeth as he pulls fully out then pushes all the way back in. It’s quick and rough as he gets started and it doesn’t slow down.

“Harder, please,” you urge him, pushing your ass back against him.

He nods. “Anything your heart desires, little bird,” he coos and licks a hot stripe up your neck, ending behind your ear where he nips at your earlobe.

You’re helpless to his ministrations as he pounds into you, and it feels like heaven. He lets go and your hands move in front of your face to support yourself against the wall.

You need it when a second later, his thick fingers are circling your clit. You cry out and he smirks. “Good girl, little birdie. Taking me so nicely.”

The words and the feeling is becoming too much. A hot haze fills your head as you approach your orgasm, accidentally squeezing around him.

He almost cums from the sensation. “Just when I thought that pussy couldn’t get any tighter,” he laughs breathlessly. “Let go, my dear. Squeeze me tight and tell me how good I make you feel.”

You nod frantically and moments later, you finally reach your peak, crying out his name and gushing around his dick. “Fuck, so good, so big,” you whine, your head falling back onto his shoulder.

The way you flutter around him is just too much. “Good girl,” he grunts, thrusting harder and harder and slightly more sporadically. “Gonna cum inside you, my good girl, show this pussy who it belongs to.”

“All yours, Ezra,” you whimper as the feeling fades, and you can tell that he’s close.

You clench hard and he falls apart, shooting his hot seed deep inside you. “Ah, little bird,” he cries out, his legs wobbling and nearly failing to hold him up as it takes him over.

When he’s finished, he groans as he pulls out. His cum drips from you and onto your flight suit, between your legs and on the floor. The sight makes Ezra shudder, and he smacks your ass one more time for good measure. “Good girl,” he mumbles and nips your neck one more time, walking off to the refresher of the pod.

“Just going to leave me here?” You ask, laughing breathlessly, slumped into the wall. Your legs are barely strong enough to walk.

He returns moments later with a damp rag. “Of course not. I must treat you well and praise you, after you took my cock so well.”

His words make you shudder again. He can feel it as he wipes the insides of your thighs. “Little bird, aroused again already? Need me again?”

“Maybe,” you chuckle and bite the inside of your cheek.

He groans and presses a soft kiss to the apex of your inner thigh. “Later. We do have twelve more hours, after all.”

-

taglist:

@remmysbounty @mishasminion360 @softly-sad @blo0dangel @luxurybeskar @binarydanvvers  @sleep-tight1 @apascalrascal @randomness501 @spideysimpossiblegirl @notabotiswear @pedro-pastel @sanchosammy @lv7867

[sadclearance]

u know how denki from bnha asks ochako out for lunch but gets ignored? can he ask male reader out and it seems like he’s getting ignored but at the end y/n flirts with him and is like “your turn now”?

pickup lines

pairing: denki kaminari x male!reader

summary: denki pursues y/n with pickup lines.

category: fluff

warning(s): none

word count: 1153

"do you have a band-aid?" denki kaminari asks y/n out of nowhere after class ends.

"are you hurt?" y/n frowns. they didn't have hero training today, and he's pretty sure nothing as eventful as someone getting injured happened in class.

"because i scraped my knee falling for you," kaminari finishes, smiling at how genuinely concerned y/n was.

"don't worry me like that," y/n rolls his eyes playfully.

kaminari sighs. is that his only response to his pickup line?

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

"man, i don't think he's ever gonna like me," kaminari cries.

"stop fucking whining, dunce face!" katsuki bakugo, the ever-so loving friend that he is, shouts at him.

"c'mon, bakugo. our friend's hurting," eijiro kirishima, the genuine angel that he is, frowns, putting a comforting hand on kaminari's shoulder.

"thank you for understanding, kirishima," kaminari lets out a fake sniffle to show how touched he is.

"well, it's not my fucking fault you're a dumbass!"

"how am i a dumbass?" kaminari frowns.

"you're giving up after one stupid ass pickup line? lamest shit i've ever heard."

"bakugo kind of has a point, but i wouldn't call it the 'lamest shit i've ever heard'," kirishima says thoughtfully.

"what? i thought you were on my side," kaminari pouts.

"i was, but you did just start talking to him today," kirishima says.

"but--"

"no fucking excuses! stop bitching about something that you've only just recently grown the balls to start."

"what exactly did you say to him?" hanta sero cuts in, finally done with his homework that kirishima and bakugo had finished together earlier and that kaminari forgot about.

"do you have a band-aid because i scraped my knee falling for you," kaminari mumbles, hiding his face with a pillow.

sero bursting into laughter so intense that he doubles over doesn't help lessen kaminari's embarrassment.

"kaminari," sero wheezes. "y/n's the pretty boy of our entire year. nowadays, his type is super popular, so girls and guys constantly fall for him. you're gonna need to up your game."

"sero's right," kirishima nods, carefully considering the facts laid out before him.

"siding with the enemy again, kirishima?" kaminari whines.

"well, y/n's been getting really popular. the girls might even be more into him than they are todoroki right now."

"and that's exactly why one pathetic pickup line isn't gonna have him falling at your fucking feet," bakugo rolls his eyes.

that's how kaminari set a goal to flirt with y/n at least once a day. hell, he even got a notebook to keep track.

when bakugo, kirishima, and sero first found out about said notebook, they burst out laughing.

after the first few days, they realized that kaminari was serious about it. he was filling it out more diligently than he did his homework.

"this is why you're failing all your classes, fuckhead," bakugo scoffed.

then, on the sixth day they decided to actually read what was inside.

day 1: line: "did it hurt when you fell? fell from heaven?" y/n's reaction: this is the second time he has taken the pickup line for its literal meaning, which is saying a lot because it's only the second time i've used one on him. when i said the second part, he responded playfully. was the playfulness him flirting back? what does it mean???

day 2: line: "you looked super cool during practice today" y/n's reaction: "thanks, you too" okay, first off, i know he was lying. i short circuited and looked like a total loser. second, i think i was too casual. that doesn't even count as flirting. that's like what kirishima would say to bakugo. unless if that's him flirting with explodo-boy?? i can't really tell sometimes

day 3: line: "even covered in sweat, you're the prettiest." y/n's reaction: he just rolled his eyes with another playful smile well, don't blame me! i got nervous, and the day was ending. i needed to make up something! one line a day, and i'm not about to mess it up on the third day

day 4: line: "you're really hot"

y/n's reaction: he lightly punched my shoulder like a bro would do :( okay, i know it was just a blunt statement of fact, but it still counts as flirting right?

day 5: line: "wanna grab a bite some time?" y/n's reaction: "since uraraka-chan's rejected you, i'm the replacement?" he was smiling and rolling his eyes again! my first time trying to ask him on a date and he says no. also why does he keep rolling his eyes :( and he's so not the replacement! i asked her to lunch like a whole week ago

day 6: line: "do you have a map? i keep getting lost in your eyes" y/n's reaction: he rolled his eyes again! what the heck?? :( also, this whole not giving up thing is taking a toll on me. rejection hurts

"if you think 'you looked super cool during practice today' is flirting, i--" sero starts.

"i know, i know!" kaminari interrupts with a deep frown. "and why're you looking through that?!"

"what are you, shitty deku?" bakugo asks with a (shocking) lack of volume. he's too stunned by the amount of genuine effort that kaminari's putting into this, albeit weird.

"what?" kaminari's frown deepens if possible. what's he talking about?

"the notebook," sero says, pointing at it as though it were obvious.

"just because i have a notebook doesn't mean i'm midoriya."

"yeah, but obsessively writing details in it is weird," sero points out.

"don't be so mean, guys," kirishima cuts in. kaminari's about to thank him before he continues to say, "maybe it'll help him practice writing letters that we can actually read."

"my handwriting's great, thank you," kaminari defends with a huff.

"now that kirishima mentions it, you write better notes for this than you do for class," sero says, amazed.

"whatever," kaminari groans. "do you guys think i should give up? he's already rejected me."

"he didn't exactly reject you. he just... avoided the question," kirishima says with a pitying smile as he points at day five in his notes.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

the end of the seventh day is approaching, and kaminari can't think of anything anymore. he thinks that maybe he should give up. y/n hasn't been reciprocating, so maybe he just doesn't see kaminari that way.

with those thoughts haunting him, he decides to leave it be.

he sits at his desk as the class is dismissed for the day, defeatedly staring at his notebook.

he's about to stand up and shuffle out of the classroom like most of the other students are when he feels a presence next to him.

"if i sat on your lap, would that make you an electric chair?" y/n asks with a coy smile.

"what--" kaminari blushes a bright red at his words.

"didn't want you to miss a day in your log," y/n winks as he points at the notebook.

"you knew about--?"

"your move, pikachu," y/n presses soft lips against a red cheek before waving goodbye.

❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥

a/n;

ahhh idk if it's bad or not but i hope it's okay anon!

[toorumochi]

KaruShuu OTP Questions

Ah- I created ehhh 4?? I suppose KaruShuu head-canons posts today but do I regret it? Absolutely not, I loved it. So here you go, have another one, don't be shy, read it.

Also, please keep in mind that these head-canons are completely made up by me in a way of that it's just how I would see it sksksk also here, KaruShuu would be probably adults?? Also married??

Anyways, enjoy~ 🌸

Who is the most affectionate? Sinceee they got married, I'm sure the longer into the relationship, the more they have opened up to each other? Karma would be the type to wake up first in the morning and kiss Shuu good morning, but since Shuu is an early bird, he would wake up before Karma and make breakfast for him. Thats how he shows affection ❤️🧡

Most common argument? Sad to think that they NeEd to argue 🙄💅 but oh well- I thinkkk they would argue over super silly things. For example what to watch (If you have read my previous head canons, you will know what I mean by 'Shrek Marathons'):

"Let's watch something"

"Sure, what do you have in mind?''

Karma would just grin over to Shuu and Shuus eyes would widen, "Hell no"

"Absolutely ye-"

"Karma don't you dAR-"

They ended up watching (again for the 12 time this week) Shrek.

Who apologizes first? Karma apologies fly out of his mouth faster than they stop arguing. Karma would rather apologize than not let them talk for the next few hours.

Favorite (non-sexual) activity to do together? They enjoy getting massage! Ifff KaruShuu was too lazy to go out to get a professional massage for a few hours, they would do it to each other. (It usually ends with them making out later on but I'll delete that part)

Who is most likely to carry the other? Karma would carry Shuu ❤️😩 Ugh bridal style to embarrass him 💀💅

Nicknames?

For Karma, by Shuu: Tamponhead (I used this one in my fanfic and I will forever love it), Moron, Karma. Tbh, I don't think neither like these pet-names or nicknames since that think they are 'cringy'.

Tho, Karma has quite a few: Shuu (Main, he doesn't use 'Gakushuu' but when he does, Shuu melts lol), Pumpkin, Orange, pumpkin pie, Strawberry shortcake (bc he loves strawberries so why not call Shuu one 😌🤚🏻), Sugar cube (Idk I think it's cute, tho I don't know if that's even a nickname- 💀💀)

Also a note: They would definitely not use 'baby', 'babe', 'honey' bc- noooo 😩💀

Who proposes? Karma 💅

Who sings along with the radio? Karma would sing along but he is horrible at singing and Shuu makes him KNOW it by him singing and Karma shuts up but finds it hilarious at the same time.

Who worries most? Both do, depending on the situation. Shuu would be worried about stuff like paying taxes or things like that, meanwhile Karma is worried for Shuus health, if he is eating enough as well as getting enough sleep every night. Shuu is a hardworking bee after all ✨

Who always wants to take selfies with the other? Karma wants to, for example they are traveling somewhere for vacation and Karma wants to take as many pics as possible with his husband so he can later on put them into an album ❤️😩 (KaruShuu as a married couple >>>>)

Who likes to playfully tease the other? Ohhh~ Karma teases Shuu all the time, but there are times where Shuu would feel playful so he would tease back

Who has the weirdest taste in their music? Karma I'm begging you- his music taste changes every week and road trips are a disaster for Shuu

Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant? Karma remembers because Shuu is always ordering the same things since he is minimalistic lol but Karma is a living chaos when it comes to food so Shuu can't remember it all.

Who is embarrassed to take their clothes off in front of the other? Lmao no matter for how long they are already together, no matter if they are married, no matter how many times they had done it, Shuu would be the one to be embarrassed about it every time.

Who tops? ...Okay so here, personally as someone who writes Fanfics, Karma tops. Always. I just- I just can't imagine Shuu as a top?? my friends gave me some really valid reasons for Shuu to be a top but I just can't see it 😩

Who initiates kisses? Both I guess? But mostly Karma

Who reaches for the other's hand first? Oooo here an example! If they are driving in the car, and Karmas hand is free, Shuu usually reaches for it but as soon as Karma needs it to drive, he has to let go. Or if they are in the cinema - Shuu would definitely hold onto Karmas hand the whole time - as comfort, since they usually watch Horror movies together so yea 😌

Who kisses hardest? Who is most ticklish? Both is Karma, but when it comes to tickling, even tho Karma is more ticklish, he is also stronger than Shuu so he can easily pin him down and tickle him, just for the sake to see Shuu giggle which kills him bc God damnit isn't he adorable?

Who brings an animal they found home? Lol depends on the animal. I would say Karma is a cat person and Shuu is a dog person b u t Shuu is allergic to cats so they can't have cats. But I think if Karma would be the one to bring an animal home, it would be a dog.

Who holds the umbrella for the other when it's raining? Karma's shoe laces often get untangled, so when Karma bends to tie them, Shuu stands over him with an umbrella to keep the rain from pouring on him.

Who tries to playfully embarrass the other in public? Karma 😭

Who kills the scary bugs? Oh lemme tell you about this one:

Shuu HATES bugs, since he always had the feeling of his father having a bunch of centipedes around himself whenever he acted manipulative and so on so he hates them. So one time when Shuu was taking a shower, and Karma was in the kitchen, Shuu suddenly screeched so Karma went to check on him. He walked onto a Shuu, covering himself with a towel and looking absolutely T E R R I F I E D at the ceiling, stuttering. Karma was hella confused so he looked up and oop here we go, a spider. Karma obv took the spider off the ceiling to free it, but first he had to tease and scare his husband a little by walking towards the shower stall, "Shuu look~ He wants to be friends with you~", the way Shuu screamed at this made almost all of the windows in the apartment break.

Who asks the weird questions at random in the middle of the night? Karma does that on a daily basis, but when Shuu is a little bit drunk, he would ask weird questions to which Karma never has an answer but he jokes around.

Who hogs the blankets? Karma hogs them and Shuu ends up having a cold the next morning 😭

Who wakes up first? Shuu is an early bird, but Karma wakes up first for work.

Who wants to stay in bed just a bit longer? On weekends, they both stay in bed a bit longer to cuddle ❤️💕

Who always makes coffee for the other each morning? Karma makes coffee for Shuu before he leaves for work 🥰

Who cries during certain films or when reading sad books? Lmao Karma cries during Shrek every time the scene comes up where Shrek had an argument with Donkey 😔

Who gets scared during horror films? Shuu 😩😩 He would (as said before) take Karmas hand for comfort

Who tells their friends/family about the relationship first? Lmao none since GakuHOE is well, a hoe so they won't trust him b u t I have the feeling of Karmas mom being actually super supportive?? But they wouldn't tell her, she would just get the hint and then when she receives the wedding invite she goes "oh-".

What do their friends/family think of the relationship? Rio was shipping this since the beginning of middle school aight, she loves it and she even threw a party for them. #IstanRioNakamura

Who is more likely to ask the other to dance with them? Karma would ask Shuu to dance obv but Shuu would go along 😩💕

Who cooks best? Karma! And Shuu loves his cooking! :D

Who wears the other's jacket? Shuu is the one to wear long coats, and Karma those thicc jackets. Shuu usually gets super cold even with the coat on, so Karma gives Shuu his jacket on top of the coat lol.

Who uses cheesy pickup lines? Karma- anywhere. Have an example:

"Hey Shuu, could you feel the shirt?", he asked Shuu while they went shopping and Karma wAsN't sure about his T-Shirt choice so Shuu was running his fingers slightly over Karmas chest with the shirt still on and thinking about the material, then Karma went: "Know what it's made of?", and Shuu looked at him and was about to answer him, but Karma was quicker and continued, "Boyfriend material", ObViOuSlY with a grin and Shuu was a gay blushing mess 💅 but then Shuu went along, "What do you mean boyfriend? I can only see Husband material", and tuRNED AWAYYYYY~

Who whispers inappropriate things in the other's ear during inappropriate times? AAAA I T H I N K I've written sum like this before- So two things that happened:

KaruShuu were invited to a funereal or sum and pls the church was quiet and stuff but obv Karma had to joke around and he leaned over to Shuus ear and whispered a joke into his ear which made our stubborn Shuu giggle and the church was this close👌 to throw them out lmao

Shuu was at work, and Karma likes to call him randomly, but oh well Shuu picks up and Karma starts to tease him over the phone maybe something very sexual stuff (knowing Karma he would) and Shuu just- he is sitting at his desk and his workers are giving him looks about why is he blushing so much.

Who makes the other laugh most? Karmas jokes always make Shuu laugh, sometimes even cry since they are hilarious.

Who would have to bail the other out of jail? Oh my God- Shuu would have to bail Karma out of jail maybe during college years, but I think Karma would mature a bit more as an adult

What would be their theme song? YOOO- A WHOLE PLAYLIST WOULD BE NEEDED-

Who would sing their child back to sleep? OOO!! Karma would be the type to read stories, but Shuu would sing them to sleep :D

What do they do when they're away from each other? I can imagine that they both have those business trips from time to time, so when they are apart, they FaceTime each other every evening to check on each other. Yes indeed they must stay at fancy hotels for their business trips and they are being served food, but they still check that the other one is eating and sleeping well. Oh and good morning and goodnight texts™️🥰

A headcanon about them that stabs your feels? Oh- oH GOD- That maybe they tend to act very distant at first in their relationships?? Or more cold? For example Shuu, he would not really know nor show much affection to Karma and Karma at first thinking that Shuu doesn't love him at all (which isn't true bc Shuu loves him deeply) but then he after some time figures it out when Shuu opens up to him more.

A headcanon that mends the previous one? That they both after some time spend together, have the opportunities to open up to each other, know each other better as well as find out each others weaknesses and strengths which makes their relationship stronger. I absolutely love them ❤️😩

[chicago-geniza]

well i intended to go for a nice evening walk, ended up having a panic attack, ordering a couple of cocktails at the bougie bar, joining a jam session with a bunch of old hippies on the logan green (one of them gave me a handpainted wooden medallion which seems to be carved out of tree bark, strung on a length of yarn???), met a crustpunk train-hopping dude in town for the month (& his dog, in a leather-studded harness) who's lived in 45/50 states & a 44 yr old guy everyone called "the wizard" wearing a tattered, patch-covered robe who shares most of my parents' conspiracy theories & considers himself a latter-day prophet, he bought us sorbet & ice cream, wound up hanging out with them & staying up all night at their indescribably eclectic, cluttered, blood-spattered (!!!) apartment, belonging to 44 yr old guy's art curator father & decorated accordingly, smoking m*th & listening to music & talking (or rather listening to them rant/rave/recount stories from their incredibly wild lives), i gave them advice on applying for unemployment & medicaid & how to appear compliant enough w/ carceral psychiatric intervention so they won't section you without actually submitting to forced medication or institutionalization, especially if they assign you a case worker & do regular "wellness checks." also how to pass off certain aspects of behavioral dysregulation as executive dysfunction, get them to pay for an adhd evaluation, get an adderall IR scrip, sell the 30 mg pills (cite body weight, high doses of other psych meds as reason for higher dose; look sincere; play to systemic biases toward cis white men, unfortunately), & use the cash to buy m*th, if they'd prefer to keep doing that. you can also pass positive psychotic symptoms--agitation etc.--off as severe anxiety, especially if you have a history of trauma, & they will give you benzodiazepines. it is in their best interest to keep you docile, i.e. tranquilized, particularly if your past convictions & involuntary institutionalizations revolve around a pattern of aggressive behavior, & that's On The Record/there's a paper trail. (e.g. one dude got arrested trying to keep cars away from an injured bird on the road, some genre of raptor i think (???) by threatening them with a shopping cart, not hitting them, but like, running at them as if to collide then feinting at the last minute so they'd swerve out of the way. not the safest or most effective maneuver, lotta reckless endangerment, but the motivation was admirable. probably put the fear of god into some drivers, though. he doesn't seem to have, like, impulse control.) it's a lot easier & you have fewer run-ins with the cops if you game the system & appear cooperative. they gave me this coat, which "just showed up in their apartment one day," like i did. 44 yr old guy walked me back to apartment, stole a street sign & tore down a real estate sign en route, lori lightfoot did indeed take down the pride flag in front of her house on july 1st & replace it with an appropriately patriotic american flag, i walked past the idling plainclothes cop car & another marked police vehicle with their Mayoral Guarding Detail inside at like 4.30 am smoking a menthol cigarette (not inhaling), high on m*th, draped in a neon anime jacket, in the company of a visibly insane, unshaven & unshorn middle-aged man in a technicolor patchwork trenchcoat, holding a lit cigarette in one hand & an upside-down traffic cone in the other, which he was using as an ad hoc amplifier for a noise track playing on my phone. he was also carrying the stolen real estate banner &, inexplicably, a stack of mail. i gave him my old backup phone (no SIM card & doesn't hold a charge long, ancient, but still works), since neither he nor the other dude have phones (cops took them), also one hybrid edible for each of them, as a thanks for the m*th & the kindness. their hearts are in the right place but they have some fucked-up beliefs about "reverse racism" being real, while also saying in the same breath that you can tell our country is irredeemable by the way it continues to

treat black people. we were discussing medical weed for seizures on medicaid & 44 yr old guy mentioned one of his close friends, a black epileptic woman, whose seizures were frequent & severe enough they prevented her from working. then he added, in apparent bemusement, they she hadn't spoken to him in some time, & he wondered why. a little while later he relayed their last conversation & i was like "my dude, i can say with 100% certainty she is not talking to you because you said some *appallingly*, jaw-droppingly racist shit & did not even realize it was racist." then i, comma, a white person, explained to this man that he literally thought of their exchange as, like, an abstract argument over insignificant ideas, a theoretical exercise, & therefore considered it simply a smug gotcha to "counter" hotep theories about egyptian origin by claiming that "if that's true, american slavery & the oppression of black people in america are divine retribution for the enslavement of the jews in ancient egypt, an eye for an eye & a deserved punishment." like, first of all, what the actual fuck, if i were that woman i would also never speak to you again, second of all there's the collapse of historical time & mythical time, history & exegesis, an assumption that rests on spurious claims of biblical literalism (zionist colonization logic, btw! him: what's exegesis? what's zionism? me: never mind, not the point. exegesis is the interpretation of religious texts in a religious CONtext, in this case what you would likely call the hebrew bible.)--but most importantly it is 100% irrelevant to this discussion whether or not black americans are Actually Factually descendended from ancient egypt! you just told this woman to her face that the ancestry she claims, of which she's proud, is the reason & justification for SLAVERY & BLACK SUFFERING--not only that, but that if it WERE true, than black people would DESRVE to suffer, by DIVINE DECREE. you are trying to force her to abdicate her claim on this heritage by putting her in a position where she'd be forced to concede complicity in her people's historical & present-day persecution, oppression, & essentially the existence of structural racism. & using The Figural Jew as a rhetorical cudgel to bludgeon her into this corner. what a despicable thing to say. like, he hadn't considered it from her perspective at all, & once he groked why the comment itself was, like, unforgivable (idk, maybe she's more forgiving; she has a virtue-name), i started socratic-method-ing him through why it was particularly unforgivable for *him* to say to *her*--the individual is not responsible for the systems from they benefit, but they are imbricated in them, they are implicated when they actively perpetuate & uphold them, even with speech acts. & finally gave the same "there is no such thing as reverse racism because racism is not an individual act, it is an institutional, systemic phenomenon, & it is an ideology, one which individual acts can bear out or be in accordance with, & to which individuals can subscribe (this bearing it out in their behavior, in their institutional roles, in their interpersonal interactions--here i gave & solicited examples of each) or be subject (also gave & solicited examples). m*th makes me very good at Explaining clearly & he was surprisingly receptive--like, it was astonishing that it had not occurred to him??? but it hadn't, the same way it hadn't occurred to my mother, & she interpreted it as "reverse racist" when their next-door neighbor called her the "white devil" for disputing their property line, & i had to be like "ok but if you called in a random third party to mediate in lily-white [city], oregon, where white supremacists openly drive down the street in pickup trucks with swastika armbands, whose side do you think they would take, statistically speaking, in your property dispute. that's why racism is systemic & institutional, & your rude neighbor calling you a name over a disagreement does not constitute 'reverse racism,' because 'reverse racism' by definition cannot

exist." now this dude wants to like, read books, so i gotta get him some entry-level Intro To Racism primers??? how did i end up here, but better me than his black epileptic (ex-)friend, i guess??? jesus christ. both of these guys have the most chaotic, reactionary politics in a potpourri with these deep commitments to abolition & mutual aid & a kind of proto-anarchist consciousness, none of which would be called by those names, but all of which is borne out in practice & in the politics of everyday life. they remind me a LOT of my parents. i'm loath to imagine how they'd internalize my stepdad's rambling, street-preacher-style libertarian lectures. probably go out & buy guns & invest in gold on the stock market & double down on the conviction that free speech is being curtailed & individual rights are in jeopardy because you can no longer unleash a barrage of harassment against some guy on the street because you think he looked at you funny. these claustrophobic convictions, like the space to express oneself is getting smaller & smaller every day, *other people* are taking it away from you, suffocating you on all sides with their offense demanding your silence, they are *making* the walls close in--when in fact it's more like a holodeck. you're a member of the Hegemonic Group, afforded the privilege of the default, so you don't question the vast verdant expanse that is your domain--ah, Free Speech, the sun never sets on the empire of ~uncensored expression, you can say whatever you want whenever you want without facing consequences because you control all the organs that mete out consequences & you have also determined that those groups who might be adversely affected by your words--emotionally OR materially--are not, well...of consequence. but of course the vast verdant domain is an illusion, photons & forcefields, held together by the all-encompassing TOTALITY of the dominant group's hegemony, power, etc. once that power begins to redistribute throughout the system--however unevenly, however incrementally, however slowly--as even the smallest pieces are appropriated by those deemed inconsequential, who have endured years of systemic, material, institutional violence that allowed the dominant group to become dominant & retain its dominant position--once those 'inconsequential' groups speak up & say "actually, these words bear an indelible imprint of the violence enacted upon us, these words are the legacy of that violence, these words are a tacit endorsement of the ideology behind that violence, which classifies us as subhuman, & even if *you* can't hear those echoes, the words broadcast on two historical frequencies, so now that we're able to broadcast on a frequency *you* can hear, we request you find other language, & consider the implications of the words you've been using for years." well--once The Subaltern Speaks, the dominant group loses its 'innocence,' & becomes aware the vast verdant expanse of language is an illusion of infinite space, aware of the four holodeck walls pressing in behind the simulacrum of the horizon, & suddenly "what one can say without negative consequences"--largely social, sometimes, rarely, if social media goes viral, professional--feels much more claustrophobic. so they get angry. & some of them are just bigots, obviously, but some of them--like my parents, &, even, this weirdly well-intentioned m*thhead who said one of the most shockingly racist things i've heard in my life & *honestly didn't understand why it was racist*, is really riled up about free speech & individual rights, hates the government, hates "FANG" (facebook amazon netflix google) & has a bunch of dystopian conspiracy theories about data harvesting & personal information that only miss the mark in that they get too nefariously biopolitical (billionaires want to put microchips in everybody for surveillance to monitor our movements & sell us more stuff; they don't need to, they already use our phone location & browsing habits to generate the algorithm & sell the information to ad companies lol, it's digital& cast a

single illuminati figure in the role of comic book villain, controlling the operation behind the scenes like an evil puppetmaster (classic conspiracy fare; again, we gotta take that energy, that suspicion, the understanding that they are being taken advantage of & tricked, the idea that power & capital & resources are concentrated among a very small number of people, however it's not an individual wealthy villain with a desire for world domination who wants to turn Free Americans into microchipped drones, it's a *class* of people--or rather several classes, but *who those people are as individuals does not matter*. if you guillotined bill gates, another billionaire would take his place. bill gates qua bill gates is not the problem. it is classes of people who control the means of production & own property & profit enormously from exploiting the labor of a desperate, rapidly increasing underclass, i.e. from the system as it is. therefore it is in their interest to maintain the status quo, because it serves them. 'the rich get richer, the poor get poorer.' the middle class gradually ceases to exist. if you want to compound it by race, consider the GI bill as an example - you learn about it as the leg up that enabled thousands of WWII vets to buy houses, enabling them to enter the middle class. hundreds of thousands of third-gen middle class white americans still reap the structural, socioeconomic benefits of their grandparents' initial upward mobility, including,, very tangibly, those selfsame houses, which can be inherited & then rented out as a second property if the children or grandchildren accrue enough money to buy their own properties. but only about 100 black vets got approved for homeownership loans, despite the staggering numbers of black soldiers who enlisted & applied through the GI bill. anyway! the impulses are there, & they're only being funneled into conspiracy thinking because that makes intuitive sense on a narrative level. these guys have a high school education; so does my stepdad. their reading habits are...eclectic, sporadic, pretty much dictated by occasional recommendations & like, little free libraries around the neighborhood. it's both interesting & frustrating to see like - hey, here are these people, we agree on a lot of things, they're earnest & open & want to learn & would give their neighbor the shirt off their backs as a matter of principle. they'd give a *stranger* the shirt off their backs; they'd share whatever they had. even what chores there are in their collective--they live with two other guys--(dumpster diving, walking the dog, tidying up the apartment) are allocated by ability & inclination. they made advance plans to look after the dog & their roommate with War PTSD on the 4th of july if the fireworks upset them, jokingly called the dog an emotional support animal. you give them the tools, the reading, talk to them like normal people with a stake in society--like, imagine a society that would have a stake in people like you instead of criminalizing you & consigning you to the margins! that's already *political imagination* because anyone who occupies a marginalized position will have their existence politicized, whether they want this or not, so better to become a self-aware, self-reflexive political subject, no?--talk *with* them because tbh i am them, i'm just better at situational masking & also i am very very afraid of cops so i only damage property in groups during planned political actions (not spontaneously, because i feel a flash of rage at my neighborhood gentrifying, & simply do not have a superego, so i tear down the real estate sign for the fancy new apartment complex in a fit of pique, because in this house we believe that spontaneity can & should be developed into class consciousness, again, the seeds of which are there in the initial trigger for the spontaneous reaction, i.e. anger at gentrification. not opposed to a little direct action, but they're just gonna put up a new sign tomorrow, it doesn't advance your agenda or hinder the gentrifiers' progress. now, if

you sabotaged the construction site for the new apartment buildings & painted a few potent symbols + graffiti'd a pithy, written statement expressing your opposition to gentrification generally & these apartments specifically? in a prominent place, large font, eye level, visible & legible from oh, a block away? maybe as a member of a collective, your neighbors, perhaps? & you could sign it "[neighborhood] or [block] residents" to pack more of a punch, the power of a crowd speaking in unison to say "not OUR home, you predatory developers"? that's no longer spontaneous, impulsive, affective violence, & it's also no longer an individual--acting alone leaves you vulnerable. again--i didn't just *intuit* that he tore the sign down because he was mad about gentrification, i asked, in a genuinely curious tone, not at all accusatory, no hint of reprimand or censure, just...interested, "why did you do that?" & he was like "it made me fucking mad." & i was like "what about it made you mad? the apartments? how come?" & he thought about it for a minute & explained. i'm not sure *he* necessarily made the conscious connection until prompted. idk, i know people talk a lot about the fact that breitbart & drudge report are free while NYT & "all the news fit to print" is paywalled, & q-pilled covid hoax sites are free while "reputable" pandemic coverage & public health guidelines & explanations of mRNA vaccines for a lay audience are paywalled & that's true but also We Live In A Society & if you talk to the wingnuts who AREN'T that way because of any far-right ideology, a lot of them are just...autodidacts without much formal education but a lot of raw intelligence that leads to analyzing The Big Picture & trying to deduce a pattern, find a framework that explains why the world is the way it is, profoundly frustrated, deeply aware of American society's, universalized & figured as the world's, exceptional unfairness & cruelty, & *that can be redirected* with reading, discussion, prompting critical thought, introducing community connections, & perhaps most importantly for this genre of person, getting them to see patterns at work in terms of systems & structures rather than individuals, letting go of American individualism's explanatory power & belief in its liberatory potential (see: the sort of ad hoc libertarianism that goes hand-in-glove with much conspiracy thinking, both stemming from 1) mistrusting the government, & 2) ultimate freedom of the individual as the most sacred value, therefore it is what all enemies want to take away), outlining positive, actionable goals rather than just ambient suspicion & anger at authority, & figuring out how those goals can be accomplished more effectively by an organized collective (but this will ultimately benefit the individual). If the world isn't run by a shadowy cabal, if you begin to understand the structures responsible & how they manifest even on the scale of your block (e.g.!!! predatory developers buying up properties during a pandemic, tearing down affordable housing to build expensive condos on the lot, or giving old buildings a "spit and polish" so they can double the rent, pricing all the current residents out, not to mention all the little local businesses, almost all mexican & run by the mexican families who live here, that give our block its culture & will get pushed out by boutique coffee shops & the like, catering to a more affluent & almost certainly whiter clientele)--you can, in fact, change the world, something both of them repeatedly referred to as their purpose on earth. it may not be as a maverick figure, one against an army, but strength in numbers is an aphorism for a reason.

anyway! thse guys were also really weird about jews, in the philosemitic way conspiracy theorists of a certain stripe often are. the itinerant vagabond guy gave me one of his drawings; it's really lovely. i'm going to give them "are prisons obsolete?" & "the wretched of the earth" & some david graeber. 44 yr old guy has this idea that society is atomized & people aren't connected to each other & have lost the willingness or the ability to communicate with each other, also that the overreach of authority has driven some people to violence, & that makes the world feel unsafe to everyone else. he feels guilty because he is acutely aware that language, when wielded adroitly & intentionally, always has the capacity to manipulate; he is afraid of succumbing to the temptation, because he senses the coercive power of language within himself. the other guy was mostly quiet but said 44 yr old guy is one of the best friends he's ever had. he thinks animals are able to sense emotions and to heal, & he thinks they can mediate between people who have become too isolated, who have forgotten humans' innate ability to forge connections, approach others as social creatures seeking to bond instead of mistrustful, apprehensive, rejecting overtures of friendship because they expect subterfuge, or propriety has evolved to deem such overtures inappropriate outside of strictly delineated, artificially orchestrated contexts. deviation from the norm is not permitted. & back again to policing. they have an idea called "the omega family," omega for the end, a group of like-minded people who come together, who encounter each other serendipitously (predicted through auspicious auguries & recognized on sight through a constellation of signs & wonders, because of course we are all psychotic here, it was nice to just be psychotic & discuss these things like they were normal lol), & serve as catalysts to each other's "personal truth." anyway this is why i don't go out when i'm crazy, i always end up in situations like this, see also: the last time i did m*th, in a pizza hut bathroom in tallinn with an art student from glascow named muhammad ali (he went by ali), the son of white muslim converts--we thought it was c*ke but it got lost in translation & that's how i figured out i had adhd. later i got [redacted] by a filmmaker from kazan & he gave me his business card afterward for some reason, which was extremely funny. thankfully these dudes were better behaved. one of them even gave a speech about how men shouldn't rape people??? & also how our society shouldn't construct women as universal victims because in doing so it makes victimhood almost compulsory & shoehorns women into a victim role as part & parcel of womanhood? i was like yes my dude you are almost there, read the essay "abject feminism." (i did not tell them i was trans bc i wasn't sure how that would shake down, to be honest; couldn't get a read on it. did tell them i was gay & they respected it, though one did say he dated a lesbian once, & i explained that many men feel compelled to interject with an anecdote relating an exception to the rule or insist that they will he the exception to the rule, & it's really just bad manners, not even getting into the bad politics. he took it on the chin & talked about how the girl in question came home to find her partner dead of an overdose & his wife had just died of MS, so their relationship was more about grief & comfort than sexual attraction. i was like that's really, really sad, & it's wonderful that you were able to be there for each other at a time of such staggering loss, & i am a person who totally understands what you mean to communicate, but if a lesbian tells you they're a lesbian & you reply that you once dated a lesbian & they get offended & instead of responding with contrition or correction you elaborate on the tragic backstory of the relationship as though that explains the circumstances in which a self-proclaimed lesbian would date a cis man, other lesbians *will* deck you, or at the very least not take you, an unwashed white guy in

his 40s who isn't neurotypical & sits way too close for social convention in a way that could easily be construed as a come-on, in good faith.) tl;dr made some new friends, did some good drügs (i much prefer smoking m*th to snorting it, basically like purer, more potent adderall, & as such will not be doing it again for a LONG time, because i enjoy it FAR too much; slices through the brain fog & the chronic fatigue & the joint/bone pain, makes me able to pay attention, follow the thread of a conversation, actually be *interested* & want to ask *questions* & expand, build, encourage my interlocutor to elaborate, place more kal-toh pieces until the conversation shimmers into a three-dimensional shape, instead of being listless & exhausted & disengaged & *bored* all the time, so obviously i would get addicted immediately if given the opportunity, & i've known this forever lol)--now going to hydrate, refill pill case, write some emails, & meet C at the beach! not how i expected to reboot my brain, but it works! also putting them on limited facebook view because i try to keep some groups of people in my life quarantined from each other & that includes 1) my relatives & my academic ~colleagues (ne'er the twain shall meet), 2) my exes & my family, 3) my relatives, colleagues, & uh. a couple of lovely, but extremely psychotic dudes with very long criminal records i met while doing hard drugs