#idk if i'm entirely happy with this but ive spent too much time on it to not post it so. here ya go

[tenderjock]

the synonym of companion is:

[vulpinesaint]

i am in the EXACT!! same spot as you with the whole if they wanted to they would. im sittin here trying to be understanding like ohh i know theyre stressed i know theyre goin through it i should reach out first. have to pull myself back by the collar and remind myself they would! if they wanted to! why am i wasting time waiting on them when they are living life just fine without me in it. anyways ive been trying to focus on people who actually do wanna put the effort to be in my life and that there will be future people who will want to too. wishing you the best and peace!!

hiiii my love this has been sitting in the askbox all day cause i wanted to rlly sit down and answer it... finally went to work and did my research project and finished a french assignment so. sitting down for a while. chit chatting. for real though we are in the same space <3 i am a believer in reaching out first! i am! i am perpetually hurt and hurt and hurt when i'm the only one reaching out first but i do believe in it. was talking about this with miffy last night but what rlly stings for me is not getting any response. like they're stressed and they're going through it but they can't take the time to put a little heart react on my "hey i love you i miss you i hope you're doing well" message for Weeks. i think maybe at that point like... in an effort to be nontoxic and reasonable i will say that it's still not someone's fault if they can't get together the effort for that. it's not. but at that point, i don't feel that i can keep spending the effort without seriously draining myself to the point of resenting them or just making myself miserable, and that's where you're so right. you gotta pull away. that's maybe a situation where it's two people who just cannot meet each other's needs and while obviously relationships aren't transactional they do have to be two sided... idk. you might love someone to pieces but if you're not communicating that somehow they're not receiving it. and that's where i reach a point of toxic girlfriend If You Really Loved Me You Would Want Me To Know It.

rambling. anyway absolutely we are in the EXACT same space with pulling ourselves back from things... i spent a lot of my high school years throwing myself wholeheartedly into relationships and putting in tons and tons of emotional labor with absolutely everyone and it had me fucked up but you know what! part of what makes me myself is that i do love being there for people, and i love making people feel safe and heard, and it's part of my love language to go out of my way for someone. so i could've kept doing it and been active listener no. 1 that got all the venting from everyone and doing constant work to make myself a cheery presence online and to be everyone's cheerleader and everyone's older sibling figure and everyone's adoring boyfriend except that with some people who Really counted for me i was getting Nothing back. and it got to a point where it hurt so bad that i pulled myself back entirely for a while and now that i'm starting to really put my Self back into relationships especially online i'm having to do a lot of grabbing my own collar pulling myself back. cause i can tell when i'm putting in effort and effort and effort into a conversation that's just not. warranted. and i know it's going to overextend me and it makes me sad to not put my whole emotional self into relationships with everyone around me but i also know that it won't be good for me? so. trying not to be "i'm always here for you" guy so much and trying not to be "i love you so so so much" guy with people who don't care enough to put the work in for me too in whatever way they do it. and i have people right now who i love SO much who i know love me so much back and i am so happy with that. and thinking about past relationships that i've pulled myself away from makes me a little sad just to know that i had to take myself out of that... but like. you know. you're with me. kissing you we will have people who care enough to Want to and Will. peace and the best to you my love :)

[french-fryyyy]

Ive been letting myself cry lately, like not a lot but if I have a big emotion instead of shoving it away so that I can't feel it anymore I let myself feel it (good or bad) and usually that ends in a couple of tears because I'm still figuring out how to properly express a lot of things and right now crying a little bit in my room is one of the only ways I know how to safely and "quietly" express things

Idk I just felt like I've spent so much of my life shoving things away for later that it no longer becomes later and these feelings are just going away entirely. I've been kind of trying to focus more on my emotions as I experience them and focus more on how my emotions and thoughts affect my physical self. So I started expressing more physically. Sometimes that's more open stims or just crying.

As a neurodivergent person I used to stim a LOT and I was very loud about it in a way (jumping around and clapping and spinning and all the happy things makes a lot of noise in a quiet house) and over the years I learned to stifle those kinds of stims and instead stimmed in a more subtle fashion. There's countless little things that I'm almost constantly doing to keep myself regulated and that's developed from years of forcing myself to stop expressing myself too extravagantly.

I think a lot of that messed up how I self regulate and how I feel things. Not being able to stim normally can do a lot to damage yourself unintentionally. So part of focusing on how I feel emotionally and how that makes me want to feel physically is learning to stim more. Learning to unmask in a way. I let myself cry at times because I know it's what I need. I know I need to express myself some way. I don't think me crying is a stim but it's somewhere in that area of allowing myself to physically express things that I feel emotionally.

Of course this is all mostly in the safety of my room with the door closed, I think I'm working my way up to being able to do this around people in the future. Probably after my crying phase because I don't want to freak people out. It's really just a step in the direction I want to take of learning to express myself again

Also little side note that might help some of this make a little sense: I do stim. Almost constantly. I chew on things, I wiggle my toes, I fiddle my fingers. It's common for people to do this a lot. What I mean when I talk about figuring out how to stim more I mean like jumping around when I'm excited, running around and spinning when I'm happy, something that's not scratching my skin when I'm scared, etc. and yes I would do some of these at school, but only around certain people. And it's only ever then. And that's only when it's BIG BIG positive things. I want to be able to do that outside of the probably about 3 people I feel comfortable doing that around currently. I want to be able to express myself in my own house. I want to be able to express myself around people I consider family. I want to be able to cry when I'm sad outside of my room. I need to learn to express these things while I'm feeling them around other people instead of shoving them away and letting situations get worse around me when I could've solved it by just expressing and telling them how I feel. It's important to me to know how to do that.

Also I tend to seem very repetitive and inconsistent when I talk for so long because I have a weird thought manifestation where I don't have like a voice in my head when I think, or pictures, or anything like that. I guess the closest way to explain it is vibes. But that doesn't fit as well as I'd like. This is very egotistical of me to say but it's more like just having incomprehensible knowledge similar to that of a "higher being" which is hilarious considering I don't believe in higher beings and it's not anything you don't know, it's just a different way of processing it I guess. My biggest work around is to just talk to myself constantly so that I do have some background noise in my brain and get constant practice trying to word what I am thinking. But so it's really hard for me sometimes to put things into words without continuously elaborating and changing how I described it the first time. Which leads to a lot of repetition and inconsistencies when I talk about a semi complicated subject.

I be yappin

[anarchy-in-the-vent-blog]

creating this at the behest of a friend who may or may not just want to stop listening to me. cannot entirely blame them as i wouldnt want to listen to me either always complaining but it really piles onto my feeling that im not that close to anybody. today, and i dont know if this is what im really upset about or just a broken shoelace, i lost a writing contest over a script that i've been working on and off on for about a year. i did not expect to win necessarily, but the year before this i was a finalist in the same contest with a script i had spent only a few days on. im pretty devastated rn. i thought this would be a chance to get a foot in the door of professional comics, or at least a big ego boost, and i got fucking nothing after months and months and months of work and honing this story. i cant even think of anything i should have done differently, my story was good my presentation was incredible there were fewer contestants this year than last year i went the extra mile and threw in an entire edited polished script along with my pitch document and pitch video, i did a fucking somersault at the beginning just to get these anglo fucks' attention and i got nothing. this creative shit isnt working out at all. ever since i was a kid i just wanted to be some kind of artist, the particulars changed every couple of years. i wanted to be a novelist for a while, a filmmaker, a musician, blah blah fucking blah. ive been working the last two years writing short stories and comics, over and over, i spend countless nights just writing and editing and reading more so i can get better ideas and for fucking what. the short story market out there is abysmal. i cant even submit to most anthologies bc theyre so idpol focused that only 1/3 of them accept manuscripts from straight white guys, and the ones that do accept have only 1/2 a chance of responding to you at all when they reject you, and maybe 1/20 of the ones that send a rejection email actually give a reason why, even if a brief one. i've sent out about 100 submissions for a dozen or so stories in the last few years and i've only sold two to two of the smallest magazines that nobody's ever heard of. one of them went bankrupt immediately after the issue in which they horribly misprinted my story (1/3 of it got cut somehow "accidentally"), and the other one is a small run new zealand gimmick theme publisher that i actually lost money on just ordering myself a copy of. maybe it was a fucking scam, idk. but they only made $5. I've made less than $30 selling fiction unless that haunted doll counts and i'm fucking miserable. I'm keeping up other creative hobbies that are going nowhere too. I just finished and released an hour long album a few weeks ago that i put two fucking years of my life into planning, writing, recording, editing, re-recording, mastering, promoting. I've worked harder on this album than anything else i've ever actually released and i think maybe only 4 people in total have listened to it. My closest friends have given it a cursory glance. i dont make art entirely for attention but how the fuck am i supposed to keep going if im getting kicked in the ribs any time i put anything out. nobody ever reads my stories, when i get rejected i never find out why, nobody ever listens to my music. the joy of creating in itself is really slipping from me. nobody really cares about me. my friends keep insisting that they do but i dont know if they do much to show it. im an obvious third wheel half the time. my dad broke a 3 year sobriety. i swipe on bumble every day and havent gotten a like in weeks even though friends have told me that i look good. my grades are slipping. i'm out of work. i have no job prospects or any sort of prospects in general for the future. i haven't been in a relationship of any kind in almost two years. i havent been in a happy relationship since fucking high school. i have neither the time nor money for therapy. therapy has never worked for me in the past anyway. i am really considering suicide for the first time in a long while. i dont really

take any joy in anything anymore. even momentary physical pleasure like masturbating and eating unhealthy food feels like absolutely nothing. i feel scared all the time. i feel like im gonna get screamed at or beat up at any second, mostly from my dad but also from strangers. i feel like im always about to be verbally chastised by my friends. it kills me that i cant see things objectively, only from this shakey nervous point of view that i know is most of the problem. i cant help it. i dont know if ive forgotten how to socialize with people or if i never knew to begin with and im only losing my illusions now. i really dont feel like living. i havent felt good in years. not truly good, maybe not since i was 12. the last time i felt generally vaguely happy like everything was mostly okay was when i think i was 16. im never going to be a great artist. ill probably never have a girlfriend i actually care about. i find most people incredibly boring or cruel. ill never really know if my friends like me, or why they even tolerate me. im writing this while putting off an important essay i've barely started. my friends seem to get so much love and notoriety for the smallest artistic efforts. i feel too stupid to read whatever theory and manifestos it is i have to read in order to make things like they do for the people they do, but i dont even want that for myself. i just want to write comic books and short sci-fi stories and im too fucking retarded or hopeless to even do that for an audience larger than myself. im really really fucking hopeless, i really dont want to keep living if this is all life is. i have no reason to believe that there is anything else. most people cant stand to be around me and i dont like myself either, i cant stand being in the same body with me, i hate having to think my thoughts. i hate being stuck inside myself. i think im going to cry again. i guess ill put off the rest of this important essay for tomorrow and collect my B- with all the other fucking midwit nobodies.

[printempolife]

happy april! a very busy month ahead with finals, prepping to start my internship, and resetting habits and intentions. march really zoomed by so I thought it would be helpful to reflect on how ive been feeling this past month.

this has been the first full month of in person classes! ive gotten used to the commute and actually enjoy using that time to chill, listen to music and podcasts, and just breathe. its so nice being able to see my classmates and friends most days of the week and eat lunch together after classes. productivity has been challenging though, and ive been struggling to be productive both at school and at home. some days im just on the go constantly that I don't realize how exhausted my body is. on the flip side, being at school means less sporadic naps throughout the day! I think ive managed to still get some exercise in which im proud of! but I have been falling behind in some classes. ik I will eventually catch up but its frustrating not being able to jungle every single thing I would normally be able to.

if you check out my march spotify playlist, a lot of it is actually super sad. idk if it's cuz its our birthday month, but thoughts of him hit hard this month. so many weak moments of regret, wanting to reach out, and waiting for him to text me. I spent most of my birthday waiting for him to text me. and the fact that he didn't showed me that I deserve better. too much time has passed and we have changed too much for this to work right now, and he's made it very clear. it was after this that I really did start pushing myself to move on, which I'm proud of.

after the whole situation with jordan, I cant believe i put myself back on hinge. more so out of boredom, but it was also a way for me to try to move on from him. conversation with anthony was immediately captivating and fun and a really nice change. I'm proud of myself for agreeing to meet with him and put myself out there. we're now trying things out and I think its good so far. reminding myself of what I've learned from my first relationship, but I can't help but compare myself to some of his really close and pretty girl friends. I do think we rushed a bit into it, but am promising myself to set clear boundaries and not making him my entire life. I deserve respect, love, and honesty. its okay to be vulnerable, to express my concerns, and remember that its a two way street.

I love being out of the house most of the day, walking around the city, talking to new people...but im sad that when I get home dad is pretty much already in bed. I'm so thankful for mom and her home-cooked meals, and for my sister reminding me to stay safe downtown. as I enter a new decade, I want to continue prioritizing family and friends.

I'm getting very sleepy and will prob come back to this later, but overall, march was a very exciting month! I'm excited to breathe after exams and to really just start working more on personal goals.

[kkukkung]

idk if you've watched mxray yet but like (spoiler alert) i'm shocked at how fast minhyuk figured out who the mafia is like... the game had -just- started and he slid up to the camera immediately and started naming names. what kind of alien sorcery?? truly the most perceptive mx member

yes! minhyuk is rly sharp like his brain works v quickly!! he notices minute details abt people + the mood and responds to things super efficiently! like if someone isn’t saying much (read: shownu mostly lol) he guides them into the action and maintains a good atmosphere... and he’s good at noticing when someone is feeling down + naturally comforts them without being too imposing? :’> 💖💖 one of my favourite things abt him

more late replies under cut!

ordered oldest to newest... 

there are so many i’m sorry omg... this is literally 4k words... first of all i’m rly sorry i’m so bad with replies ;___; i’m going to... do_better.mp3 once i’ve caught up. questions from today will b in a separate compiled ask thing. thank you for being patient w me (i’m saying this like u have a choice jhsfgskdj rip) and i’m very sorry that lots of these referred to something that has now become irrelevant. i’ll work harder 💖

(svzannebrown(.)tumblr(.)com/post/154440030608/all-that-anyone-needs-to-know-about-my-time-in) i found shownu's origin story

(link) aaaa this video jkgfhkj it’s rly so cute ;___; ur right it’s him

shownu had his foot on mh's d and changkyun played shownu's ass like a drum...what a time to be alive

truly. i love shownu initiating anything btw like, bc altho he tolerates anything the others do to him he rarely does anything back to them?? so seeing him being playful is rly fascinating.

wHYD YOU GOTTA TAG THAT AS "b*k**k*" I CANT SEE IT ANY OTHER WAY NOW 😭😭😭🔫🔫

this was... in reference to the water gun scene in ep 1 of mxray jskdfhg im sry... hyungwon spitting it back out like a fountain tho... please... a real Freaq

I'm scream I was looking thru the tags of the gifset of mx sleeping and someone tagged "showhyuk are wearing masks cuz they're the ones who sleep with their eyes open" DKRKKFKG I forgot about that Please Release The Terrifying Eyes

kjsghdfgkjskjfd imagine them sleeping without their masks with their eyes open facing each other just................ staring... i feel like mh would look especially Terrifying

Ok but think abt this: Jackson and Wonho pans*xual m8s who support each other on the low. Yes.

yes i love it. also gym workout partners. small calves big thigh centaur buddies. sweetheart squad.

does kihyun KNOW, like, does he ///know///

i think... i think he Knows,

someone should sign jeonghan and minhyuk up for celeb bromance so they can go on that flower picking date minhyuk wanted

FLOWER PICKING that’s so cute... minhan in a flower meadow holding baskets of flowers and putting daisy chains on each other’s heads.... .... n then it gets dark and the flowers start whispering “stay with us forever” bc they are jealous of how pretty the flowerboys are... giant venus flytraps emerge and minhyuk sacrifices jeonghan and escapes sfhkgfkj but he forgets abt the daisy chain jeonghan put on his head earlier and it morphs into a stinking corpse lily which eats him :/ im sry i can’t just... leave scenarios cute wtf

Kihyun carrying Mingyu on his back(again)... Taking him to where monbebes are and making him greet them... Doesn't this remind you of something... Anyways I love true love and friendship:)

oo anon im not sure what this is meant to remind me of??jssjdkgh i’m not that familiar w svt :( most of what i know abt them comes from their interactions w other groups... but yes i think seventeen with mx is the cutest thing they seem so so close??

"is it just me or is the entire world infatuated with jeonghan" OMG girl SS SsSSAME he's my bias in seventeen (my ult... the bias that got me into kpop) and as I got to know him he rlly is like that?? He's got this easygoing and likable personality that isn't overwhelming for introverts/quieter people but more outgoing ppl flock to him too bc he's still inquisitive and engaging to interact with \ahh sorry i rlly had to go off abt my fave I love him

this is so cute tbh i thought jeonghan was lowkey evil sdhfjgkj like he looks angelic but he’s.............  and the reason why minhyuk likes him is bc... they’re both pretty boys who r actuall.y.... Evil lmao. im kidding im kidding ofc from what i know of jeonghan he’s like u describe him to be but also Very Libra...lmao.....👀👀👀👀 i rly like his vibe idk he’s kind of ??? healing ?? and i rly love minhan a lot :0

i found ur sweater paws tag for the first time today and ive never been happier in m entire life thank u..........

jsfdhg you’re welcome!! there’s not a lot on that tag but i’m glad u enjoyed ur time there! it’s mostly hyungwon who has them bc he loves sleeves that that too long for his already long arms?? minhyuk likes them when he feels like being c*te and wonho uses them to look s*ft... i could analyse this

I swear that Minhyuk can potentially dominate the world...I mean you've seen how he's got everyone wrapped around his little finger, especially Shownu (Showhyuk could become kings of the world and I wouldn't mind tbh), and you think he's just an innocent pretty boy at first? JOKES! That boy is coming for you. He's coming for all of us.

hands up if u’ve been personally SCAMMED by minhyuk... anyway yes i feel like every member of mx loves lmh a lot and appreciate him lots?? especially how much he’s improved since debut and what he does for the atmosphere + entire vibe of mx!

(wh airport photo anon) I havent seen it but my friend told me about it one time casually like "rmbr that photo of wonho at the airport?" and im like ''???'' so they said wonho was adjusting his pants and the waistband went too far down or something like that and you could see a happy trail? like a lot apparently and idk i felt creepy to be like "show me" so i lost my opportunity to see it and havent found it since :/ its gonna haunt me for the rest of my life

i rly think i would’ve... just shamelessly said “show me” lmao especially when they already described it in that much detail 👀👀👀👀hmmmmm jgfkhds but im glad ur dignity is intact anon! if anyone does know... what this photo is..... 👀 slide into my inbox.... idk whenever i see his stomach/abs it’s all very Clean u kno he shaves for performances where he has to show his body... he looks like a hotdog..... clean and slippery and often oiled up w a sheen

i once made the mistake of assuming that short, pink-haired boys with stubby fingers and fat feet and cheek dimples were harmless, only to find out that they're actually a 93 liner whose chin will stab you and they must always win in any scenario. i now regret just about everything

FAT FEET. rly why does kihyun think his chin is a weapon like he’s always holding it at that exact angle if u kno what i mean w a small smirk on his lips... knife cat meme.... nd jdkfghskj ik he rly can’t stand losing/being wronged

I dreamed Seungcheol 'owned' a Burguer King and Jeonghan and Minhyuk spent there the night and ended up getting together and the next morning everyone was like??? What happened to u two??? And they were like love happened:))) I HA T E MYSELF SO MUVH

hfkjfsadjkdsfhdfgdkjkfhdksdhfsdjkhf WHY DID THEY FRICKLE IN A BURGER KING OF ALL PLACESbnjkd

Great skater Wonho tags. A+

Bruh that fic idea in your XKOMBAT Wonho picture is amazing. I wish I was good at writing, especially for that concept...

PLEASE jkfdgkh it was rly just an early morning brain fart but thank u sm... i used to write ficlet tags all the time but recently i’ve been too busy to tag much. and anon2 u should give it a shot! like writing is something u get better @ with time (like... most things lmao idk what im trying to say) but rly we need more writers in this fandom and don’t let self doubt get in the way of what u want to do! i’d be happy to read people’s fics if they want me to btw :>

Case example 374926395 of YKH must always win: changkyun jokingly throwing a tiny snowball at his back and kihyun retaliating by slamming a giantass handful of snow on top of changkyun's head. When will the war ever end?

I KNOW !!!!!!! it’s such an expected reaction from kihyun tho idk why they keep provoking him!!! it’s mostly ck wh + mh like tbh, there must be something..... masochistic in this they enjoy it somehow jfshgd... kihyun has to have the last laugh he has to Win lmao

You're so cute

this is Fake im Fake ur Fake but u kno what’s 100% real? my love and gratitude for u ily thank u hfgdj

Never stop doing the Wonho and Shakespeare thing! :o

thank u omg i probably couldn’t stop if i wanted to?? im very attracted to Raw Feelings and wonho & shakespeare both do that.... especially well...

it's rly hard to find wonho fansites that don't bleach him :/// like he's already so pale they don't... need to... like i know why they do it (not that i condone it) but srsly wonho is already super pale it's not like we don't know he's pale LOL. i remember round wh used to have good unbleached photos but there was one point a few months ago where they put this awful filter on their wonho photos it didn't just make him pale but it made his skin??? blue silver?? it was disappointing

the tragedy of round_wh jgkhsdgj i know :(((( and rose petal jam too :((( playboi_wh has some mostly untouched/unedited photos i rly like!

do u ever wish for that cute lil heart choker to make a comeback i miss wonho with it :-/

he hasn’t worn chokers for a while i’m stressed!!!! the pink heart choker was Iconic but idk why no1 ever talks abt THIS masterpiece

 truly innovative, redefined the gothfurry subculture.

am I the only one who realized that wonho is the one who solved all the escape rooms first on the first ep of xray... Ngl... Not to brag but honestly I have the most talented bias in the world..

wonho on shows is rly interesting bc he’s either completely and utterly useless (i.e...... what was that bouncy ball mess in ep4, also on weekly idol when he was... a mess) OR the golden hyung/saviour like there’s rly no in between?? he’s still trying to decide whether or not to present himself as a dumbass or not pls save him :/ dshfjkg im kidding i think it’s more like... he’s good at a certain sort of physical activity that involves concentrating on one simple thing (ddr --> getting the moves right, thigh-wrestling --> using thigh strength...) but not good at performing under pressure (tkd demonstration, bouncy ball racing against a senior idol)... re puzzles i think it’s not so much that he’s good at the puzzles themselves (mh + ck are better at that) but, he’s good at understanding the motivations and feelings of other people/predicting the path that a variety show would go; so that’s kind of how he got the password without finding all the hints, bc he knew it would be something meaningful like their debut date. idk that’s what i think!! like, wonho is smart but more emotionally/people-smart than smart in the traditional sense imo?? hope this makes sense omg

I don't know if you know about this, but does starship allow people to send in gifts for theonsta X members? Like do they have guidelines you have to follow cause I saw they moved buildings and I've always wanted to send in gifts cause I know Monsta x will never have a concert where I live.

hey im sry this is so late but the general guidelines for presents is pretty much common sense i think (no food, no weird used things, etc., and some companies don’t allow gifts that are too expensive).... i know starship allows gifts but i’m not too sure abt the specifics?? i’ve heard of people sending in things like clothing and books and framed fanart and whatnot but yeah... if anyone knows/has experience sending presents, please help this anon! :>

I love when u use the word Floof I've incorporated it into my vocabulary now 😣💕

i love the word floof!! also floofy and floofball and floomf gjdkfh ur so cute i’m glad u’ve absorbed it into ur lexicon! 💕💕💕💕💕

there's kind of a rush from starship to make mx big before they start enlisting i think :( it's kind of sad to think about. that's probably why they've been working nonstop since all in. i think starship expected them to make it big from debut (thus the rush to get a first win and taking their phones away) and mx was promised that but things didn't go as planned. at least that's the feeling i'm getting. i think the success of part 2.5 will determine if they're going to stay in japan or korea

i feel like... enlistment is still so far away for them?? usually groups have a 7-ish year run anyway n like............ not to talk abt d*sbandment but i think mx rly have to gain more musical autonomy if they want to stay in the industry for a long time, and adapt to the changing entertainment landscape like big bang does? i agree tho that starship expected mx to be a lot bigger initially but tbh... i have so much beef w the timing, planning, management team like................ i rly truly feel like if they promoted hero instead of rush a first win would’ve been far more likely... not to mention all of their comebacks + even their debut?? have clashed w other Big Name Groups’ promotion times and they’re always so infuriatingly close but :/ aaaa... also idk they need more ?? flamboyance ?? they put on the best stages and work themselves to death but i feel like sometimes the choreography itself, although v nice in their practice room filmed w a non-moving camera from the front, doesn’t carry over to the stage/live performances as well? and w their title tracks too idk i sometimes feel like starship is forever a little behind with the musical trend of the time... mx has never released a bad song but lmao, to be honest i feel like their title tracks have never been flashy enough? :/ their concept team is doing well tho i think the x clan aesthetic is a+ and it was the all in/stuck/fighter vibes+visuals that drew in a lot of new fans, myself included. idk sometimes i just feel like......... starship isn’t bringing out their full potential nd it makes me >:(((.......... ANYWAYS i have high hopes for the upcoming comeback pls pls pls support them

Ok but,,,he ain't even ugly in em tho, how does he still look a model even when he tryna look like spongebob

regarding this post lmao. not to be blinded by love also but ur right he’s never looked bad in his entire life :/

Mx members broken down: just a stuffed bear?? How'd that get there?, spongebob, Wallace and gromit, shifty cat, Kermit the frog, zico????, and an alien dressed as a human trying to blend into society

jkfdghkj enough!!!!! not to b serious on a cute funny ask but it must be :/ being compared to an established idol rapper all the time and whenever i think abt all the shit jooheon must’ve gone through during their debut year as the Representative Monsta X Member and all the pressure he was under after being so hyped up after no mercy.... i :( feelsbadman... 

Minhyuks secret was prolly everyone's **** size....tbh...

in response to >this

girl ngl you have some of the most nastie tags ive seen on this website sometimes but they always make me laugh, thanks for being so rad

PLEASE I FEEL LIKe... my tags aren’t even that nasty but mb i follow a different set of people and we’re used to different things lmao sjhghj i swear i’m pretty tame?? thank u for enjoying them tho ily darling 🌻🌻🌻

"he's my own flesh and blood. my cells quiver when he sneezes" - anniesus on im changkyun, 1:17, monbebe bible

SJDHFPLEASE but like... rly.... no printers only fax

i totally agree srsly i don't get how ppl don't see how scripted survival shows in general are lol... ppl felt rly bad for ck and i TOTALLY GET IT but like sometimes ppl go as far as saying the contestants b*llied him or like, genuinely hated him... and it doesn't sit well with me...i tried explaining this once but someone was like "but he looked so sad in no mercy i can just tell bc if his expressions " he might have felt awkward and he's introverted but i rly don't think he was mistreated

YESYES^^^^^^^^^^^^ idk some people rly.... think no mercy was..... a reliable portrait of reality jkfhdsg. when ppl take it too far and say the others rly mistreated him or hated him it makes my eyes roll back into my skull idk like !!! do u rly think!!! no mercy was one big scripted story with convenient narrative arcs and changkyun’s ate arrival was one of them. i think at that point it was obvious changkyun was going to debut?? and how do u make an audience like someone in the shortest amount of time possible? u make them sympathise with him/his situation. no mercy was very organised storytelling, if u know what i mean, it is a very narrative-driven show with victims and villains and timed hurdles and it concludes in a very neat way.

Ur tags about minhyuk being dramatic on no mercy dkfkfjkgk I love him my bad actor baby.....rmr in the same ep changkyun came on I think where hyungwon and gun played a prank on a younger guy where they were "fighting" and minhyuk kept laughing thru it ddkjfjf idk if that was his #Concept like was he supposed to be awkward laughing. Idek but um I'm love his dumbass

he’s AWFUL at acting jskhdfg but yoonho, dear pure boy i love with my whole heart, rly fell for it regardless bc he just wanted everyone to get along hjfdjkdf :( ur right lmao lmh rly found it funny i doubt it was a Concept i think he’s genuinely just................... bad at acting jksdfgh

THANK YOU for pointing out how obviously scripted no mercy was; like honestly any reality show from any country is overproduced and you have to take everything with a grain of salt. But here's the real question (and you don't have to answer if you don't feel comfortable): did starship already have the final lineup planned? Personally I think that some were gonna make it regardless (jooheon, shownu, kihyun) and that the others weren't finalized until later, but idk man it's still a big debate

i agree!! but i’d definitely add changkyun to the planned debut lineup. i think starship wanted to debut yoonho originally but they realised too late that he wasn’t ready yet. also, it’s interesting what they did w #gun bc they rly made u like him as a person, rly sympathise w him, rly anticipate him when it was kind of clear in a hip hop group there would b a high tone rapper and a low tone rapper... and jooheon was definitely going to debut like 100% lmao so the high tone slot was taken from the beginning. i think starship had plans for #gun already at that point but he wasn’t gonna make it into mx. and i think wonho was also most likely in the lineup, but it wasn’t decided at the beginning of the show like it was with the other three u mentioned.. probably somewhere along the line. i think Perhaps hyungwon n minhyuk were in the dark.

this isn't prompted by anything but you: makes/reblogs a post me: 💝💝💝💖💖💖💗💗💗💓💓💞💞💕💕💕💕💖💖💘💘💘💘💘 you: writes tags me: 💖💖💖💖💘💘💝💝💘💘💞💕💕💖💓💓💓💗💗💖💕💘💗💗💘💘💕💖💗💗💘💘💕💖💖💖💓💖💘💕💘💗💘💘💘💗💘💞💘 i love u and ur blog so much ur so funny and smart??? u always have valuable things to say??? amazing ..

this is 2 much i rly looked at this msg for like 3 days straight pleasthe............ im... very flattered jkshg but i’m rly just ur casual mess,.., thank u sm for enjoying my humble blob :( i hope ur having the best day rly honestly & truly i appreciate this sm jhfdgjghj idk how to respond adequately!!!! 💖💖💖💖💘💘💝💝💘💘💞💕💕💖💓💓💓💗💗💖💕💘💗💝💗💘💘💕💖💗💗💘💘💕💖💖💖💓💖💘💕💘💗💘💘💘💗💘💞💘💝💝💝💖💖💖💗💗💗💓💓💞💞💕💕💕💕💖💖💘💘💘💘💘!!!!!

I had a mini freakout too, we got scammed so hard. the old selca before and the dark undercut now. he said a few months ago that he's going to dye his hair black for the next comeback though ;; don't lose hope mbb

(regarding wonho not having black hair and being Scammed Again jkdghsjk) i rly do hope he goes darker bc it must suck bleaching and dyeing all the time :/ he looks good w every colour tho so i won’t complain regardless of what happens 💖

ummmm did u ever watch the wonho hand reading vid ?????? (the audio ,,, i couldnt hear shit,,,) i watched minhyuks and i was like wow a certified demon agdjdkjsh joking but everything he said had me liek yeth its trUE!!!!

the best part of the wonho one was when he said “he’s got love in his heart, but he doesn’t quite know what it is” and “when this photo was taken he was probably feeling sorry or sad for himself or something” sdfhgkjdfgs AND WHEN HE SUGGESTED WONHO SHOULD STUDY METAPHYSICS i rly scremed.... also he has the will to go for what he wants + he’s sensitive !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tru!!! ALSO IM SCREAMING I KNOW minhyuk’s was SO ACCURATE kjfdshkjgsdf “THE LINE OF HEART IS SOMEWHAT DISTURBED” jkfhsgkjhdfsg  DEMON

I'm unsure if you are into block b or not, but I thought I should tell you just in case that P. O's mother passed away on the 27the due to chronic illness

aa i’m not rly into block b but this is super sad :( i feel awful for answering this so late but my thoughts are with him and his family 💞 

Kamsaminda!!! I literally face palmed so hard! Kboo logic is something else

it’s just.............. very ironic that they claimed their english was getting worse bc they’re so immersed in the ~Korean Way~ but... “kamsaminda”......... 

Ur tags are what I live for omg 😂 

thank you darling 💝💝 i feel a bit :/ recently bc i haven’t been as active as i’d like to on this blog but i’m catching up and i’m... gonna work harder jshfdg tysm!

*hugs you real tight* would you please send this to the first 10 people in your dash (or whoever)? Make sure someone gets a hug today and stay safe! (づ◕‿◕)づ

aaaa thank you!!! i’m sending it back w my heart wrapped in a ribbon 💝 ty for this and i hope you’re also well-hugged and safe!

Annie I just wanted to say I appreciate u for being such a lovely and funny and kind person u get so many q's (bc ur so lovely and fun to talk to) and I'm obviously only adding onto ur backlog of messages sorry dkfkjgg but yeth u always give thoughtful or funny responses and ur Bloggie is just always so refreshing and fun to read I like to go thru ur posts when I've had a tiring day and just read ur funny tags and replies so ty for that :') 💕

sdhfjkgs i don’t deserve all u nice anons :((( thank you for enjoying my blobspace i’m going to work harder to become this ????? ? lovely funny kind person i’ve tricked u into thinking i am??? rly this means a lot to me i love u !!!!!! like tbh i don’t get That Many messages i think i just... let them pile up and it’s my own fault so don’t worry abt the backlog!!! anyway i appreciate this sm and rly... it’s... ridic that there are people out there like u... really sweet people who send other people nice messages anonymously w no real purpose but to make them happy like ?????? ppl like u go straight to heaven.. ily ily i hope you’re doing well today angel!!! 🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻