#idk i'm not really updated w ffxiv news anymore
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noxtivagus · 2 years ago
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🥺 on the upside when i get all my assignments done, i can play ffxiv w an online friend i met on twt !
#🌙.rambles#apollo talks to her more bcs i am really bad at keeping contact#thursday or friday we can play i Think#SHE'S LIKE OMNI N SHE/THEY . JUST LIKE ME FRFR#ffxiv n pjsekai n genshin ! n aussie woooo i'm filo but that's just a 2 hour difference rn#N SHE'S A BIT OLDER THAN US SO DAMN#i wna be closer friends c:#i'm#holy shit i made myself stressed again#the patch tmrrw means i shld get stuff done before maintenance (?) starts#idk i'm not really updated w ffxiv news anymore#fuck my head hurts what is wrong with me recently#feels like everything's going too fast n i'm being left behind#i guess that's still one of my weak aspects#stupid hurt child in me getting left behind by my friends#i feel like crying. wait .#it still Hurts#i'm . wait i genuinely feel like crying no i need to get a hold of myself#this world is so lonely with the way my mind twists . things#tbd#i'm. i'm so#i'm so tired but i'm stronger than that aaaa#but goddamn it hurts when i think n wonder if . the way i say i'll reach great heights#i mean technically i do realize i'm higher than average. goddamn i'm intelligent i'm smart i have great grades n i'm maturing well but#i don't know. if it really all matters. sometimes i want to throw it all away n just stop caring#i'm tired of this world. i'm tired of feeling like i have to fit in but then it gets so lonely when i'm different#n then i don't know what to do???? i'm still performing well enough so i doubt if i'm. really struggling. this is normal.#others feel this way too right? but then i doubt myself again n again n god it's so tiring to just remember n hold close to who i am when#it sucks bcs it's really extreme ends. i hate and love myself. n so i get so confused with what really is my reality. i have to. be better.#i am doing good but it's never enough. that thought is damaging me but it's technically true yk
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