#idk i'm just a little confused rn and mental health care for chd patients (and parents) needs to be so much better
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#cw vent#cw family death#cw medical trauma#i'm in bereavement counselling for my nana rn and we were talking about different types of grief and it's just got me so confused#like i'm already struggling with the painful memories and knowing how bad things got for my nana but i was a little more prepared for that#and now i'm having to confront the fact that i've spent ages mourning the health i never had and it doesn't feel like a tangible loss bc#there was no before with my illness- i'll always have this condition and even of for the most part i get to live a normal life it's always#gonna be slightly abnormal and idk how to put that into words bc it doesn't feel like i can say i lost it when i never had it???#idk i'm just a little confused rn and mental health care for chd patients (and parents) needs to be so much better#it's practically nonexistent rn i had a therapist learn i've nearly died but he ignored it bc i was so young at the time like?????#and i didn't even know loss of health counted as bereavement like nobody talks about bereavement and it needs to be so much more normalised
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