#idk i think about viren looking down upon / disavowing kpp'ar & harrow in such similar ways

[raayllum]

like I think a lot about how Viren had 3-4 main relationships (Kpp'Ar, Lissa, Harrow, and maybe Sarai) outside of his children, and how he either increasingly put or always had put So Much on Harrow's shoulders uniquely.

Like Kpp'Ar is the person who believes in Viren ("a man who believed in me when I was nothing and dedicated years of his life to helping me become... what I became") till he turns on Kpp'Ar and destroys that relationship bond. And then it gets heaped onto Harrow's shoulders ("I need to be the man he once believed I was") in a way that's canonically reminiscent of Harrow's dynamic with his wife ("Your sister made him better [...] he tried every day to be stronger and braver so he could live up to what she saw in him") and with Callum to Rayla ("She believes in me").

Same thing with Lissa, a person Viren expected/wanted unconditional love from, but didn't realize Lissa had hit her condition after he treated her like a thing. So Viren's 5x02 dream wherein Harrow not only understands but values Viren for his dark magic use/justifications ("But I couldn't have done it without you. I was cruel to you even though I care for you so much. You're my family" "I've always thought of you as my family, and you know I would do anything for my family, however dangerous, however vile" "I know") by literally embracing him after Lissa wouldn't? And instead walked away??

And that's before Sarai dies, wherein Viren clearly feels the need to make up for it, and to be to Harrow what Sarai was, even though of course he can't be for numerous reasons ("because he knew I'd stand by him through anything" / "I disapprove. But I stand by you anyway") with loyalty and acceptance that Harrow was just never going to be able to return (in the way Viren wanted/could understand) precisely because of Sarai's death / the losses they'd sustained and Harrow's encroaching disillusionment with dark magic and Viren's way of doing things

Just... what an incredible mess