#i. actually really Don't like this post for some reason LMFFKJRGNR

[isolctions]

“ILYSSA” + past lives.

................*just throws up peace sign*

no but really, y’all know clear & concise hc posts are Not The Vibe here and nothing makes sense n this likely won’t, either. it don’t even make sense to me & i’ve been writing this entity since 2016. anyway, let’s get started. trigger warnings do apply for descriptions of body horror, mentions of death, natural disasters, plagues and the like, & a lil’ sprinkle of creepy supernatural horror elements.

THE CREATOR — i tried leaving any one specific religion out of her development, bc it really doesn’t even play that huge of a role in her life & aspen’s life, so i always thought of The Creator as a well-known-but-not kind of entity. The Creator created...everything, obviously. all beings, all forms of live, all dimensions and everything in between, including The Void that comes up later. there’s no specific gender, name or details, just The Creator. ilyssa was once a child of The Creator, birthed as an Angel, assigned with certain tasks such as maintaining The Creator’s life forms in a designated area, & ilyssa’s assignment was Earth & its’ inhabitants.

FIRST LIFE — ilyssa no longer remembers any clear details of her first life as an angel. doesn’t recall her name or her appearance, just certain sensations that she felt that lasted throughout her existence. she wasn’t exactly a guardian angel bc she wasn’t allowed to interfere with any of The Creator’s plans or engage with any of the life forms on earth, simply observe & report. and she was so good at her job too, and she was a fairly well known Angel among The Creator’s many children, and she was complete with the warmth of a glowing halo & the weight of shimmering wings & light in her heart & the absolute horror of multiple eyes and an elongated but welcoming mouth. very reminiscent of biblical angels. mildly terrifying. she more or less followed the rules bc let’s face it, Earth & its’ inhabitants were super boring for the first few thousand years. but they started getting so creative! it was so fun seeing them grow! she slowly felt tempted to see what it was like on this big place for herself, so occasionally, she’d disguise herself and walk among humans for a while. if any other Angels took notice of her sneaking off to earth every now and then, they never said anything abt it.

THE FUCKENING — several thousand years later, nothing but sickness and plague and despair filled Earth & its’ inhabitants. ilyssa was very confused. for all time, she watched as humans suffered and animals perished and places burned and volcanoes erupted & buried cities in ash or oceans with floods, and there was...nothing? she could do about it??? she felt compelled to end their suffering in any way she could, including (not so sneakily) sneaking back to earth to give them blessings to ease their woes, but The Creator reminded her that it was not her place to do such a thing. why? because it was all part of the plan, of course! divine intervention was not to be tolerated, no matter how much she found humans to be cute little things. and ilyssa was complicit for a while simply because she didn’t want to cause a rift between herself and her creator, but then humans kept fucking suffering — even those who didn’t deserve it. and she kept asking questions and kept demanding to put a stop to such cruelty and begged The Creator to step in and help, and they refused. finally, The Creator got fed up. ripped the wings out of her back, stripped her title as an Angel, and banished her to lifetimes of solitude. she was fated to fall, halo broken, and would never interact or interfere again.

THE VOID + OTHER 79 THOUSAND LIVES — banishment wasn’t the only punishment. nope. The Creator took it a step further by destroying any sense of identity that ilyssa once had, by condemning her to constant death & rebirth at the hands of the Void, with each rebirth shaping her into an entirely different being. the first few millennia that passed within the Void, she literally didn’t have a fucking face. she was nothing more than a featureless shadow stuck in an empty wasteland, only seeing life within the crystals & color that made up each of her rebirths. while in the Void, many things happened, such as: slowly birthing with more distinctive features (later becoming her present True Form: twelve pitch black eyes that form an hourglass looking shape on her face, a stretched out mouth with razor sharp teeth, sharpened claws, four arms & bony, elongated limbs. she also shrieks, has multiple voices, has No Nose, & is super fucking tall. just store that in ur brain for later babes!), figuring out that there are a multitude of dimensions that exist, ripping into said dimensions & rearranging timelines for funsies/to piss off The Creator, forgot her true name, was killed/reborn like 80 thousand times prbly, & finally harbored absolute, unfiltered, unwavering hatred for all humans. also realized that falling made her feel so painfully cold and empty, and the closest thing to feeling whole were to consume the soul of a human. definitely made some enemies, bc u don’t just waltz into an alternate dimension & eat every living human there without pissing off a few other entities.

80 THOUSAND — eventually, ilyssa figured out a few hiding spots to avoid The Creator’s wrath & spied on different dimensions. earth, specifically, bc she liked to project nightmares onto humans & consume their souls via sleep paralysis / pass through them & possess them until their bodies died off. ilyssa gave up on trying to name herself bc let’s face it, The Creator was just gonna get the Void to hunt her down & kill whatever body she’d been created in for the next thousand years anyway. life literally had no meaning until aspen was born.

MEMORABLE DETAILS — her true form, obviously. only named herself bc while attempting to communicate with aspen via projecting a night terror, aspen called to her by making a noise that sounded like a name so she just fucking rolled with it and went by ilyssa. prbly does not immediately like any other Angels, and will act very antagonistic towards more ‘pure’ beings out of resentment. kind of dig the idea that there are a few Angels that remember her / she remembers fondly from first life that she’s less likely to attack. her style of ‘hunting’ victims by tiring them out via chasing / wounding them comes from The Creator’s method of killing off her current life while in the Void, bc they’re one cruel motherfucker, let me tell u. and just for technicality’s sake, i guess you could say that she’s not exactly a demon? not in the pure sense, anyhow? but over time, that’s what she’s been known as by humans who managed to survive any night terror encounters from her, so most methods won’t deter her. (she still cannot physically pass through most holy spaces, bc The Creator or other watcher Angels keep her out.) in the most non romantic sense, aspen is very much ilyssa’s first true love, bc she is the only thing she’s ever felt any intense sensation or urge to protect towards. this can & will grow into feeling love for other humans as well, wink wink nudge. was prbly NOT intended to ever reproduce, so aspen being pregnant with ilyssa’s offspring (in her current form before this lifespan gets killed n what have you) is something that was NOT planned by The Creator, should NOT even be possible, and they are VERY confused and UPSET!!!! >:(

anyways, the only reason i suddenly decided to change ilyssa’s direction & give her a backstory involving actually having been an angel (other than how deeply she cares for aspen & how she’s come to softening her hatred for humans post-asp) is because of this goddamn post right here. read it. feel it. let it make u cry. ok that’s all thank u all for listening to this dumpster fire of a post <3