#i've written some Really Not Good Things about 'ugly' traits

[sunlitmcgee]

as someone who has recently come to realize how many appearance based double standards he's unintentionally applied to people both IRL and within my fictional written works, I'm just gonna say that anyone calling Dream ugly is not a very kind person, nor smart. If you are, I implore you to rethink that bias. Look into it. Explore what it is about these traits or features that causes you to see them as lesser/undeserving. Chances are you will find some form of bigoty/bias you weren't even aware of. And as with any form of discrimination, it is vital that you begin chipping away at it bit by nasty bit until you can work through it and come out on the other side a kinder, more thoughtful, overall wholler person.

[sinni-ok-sessi]

Would love to hear any thoughts on the codification of the poet-persona over time? 👀

Ok so in the spirit of the ask game, I am not checking any citations on this whatsoever, but if you want those lmk (though they uh. largely do not exist for rímur-poets specifically, because only me and Hans Kuhn have ever cared).

This is going to require some context because, as established, the number of living people who know and care about medieval rímur can be counted on my two hands. Probably without thumbs. So, rímur are a poetic form that developed in 14th cen Iceland, which look kind of ballad-y, in that they often use four-line stanzas with ABAB end-rhyme, though actually the ballad tradition in Iceland is quite distinct (on which, see Vésteinn Ólason, The Ballads of Iceland). End-rhyme was very exciting for Icelandic poets because it was only previously a thing in some uncommon types of skaldic metres, but rímur (as their name suggests) have end-rhyme as a defining feature and rapidly become The dominant form of poetry in Iceland until well into the 19th cen.

There are two very distinctive things about rímur, other than their metres: 1) they almost never tell 'new' stories; almost all rímur narratives are attested earlier in other forms, usually in prose, which can sometimes lead to the fun cycle of saga -> rímur cycle -> old saga is lost, new version is written based on the rímur -> more rímur are written based on the new saga -> repeat until the heat death of the universe; 2) as the form develops, it acquires introductory stanzas known as mansöngvar, a term which elsewhere usually means 'love poetry', although that's not really what they're doing here.

Mansöngvar are verses, sometimes in a different metre to the rest of the canto they're attached to, in which the poet speaks directly to the audience. In the medieval period, they're pretty short and often don't say more than 'look, I made you some poetry', but as time goes on, they get more and more elaborate, and the character of the poet begins to develop some quite distinctive traits. What's interesting here is that rímur were (certainly in the medieval period; less certainly later on) performed aloud, presumably by the poet, so there's definitely some questions to be asked about how accurate the poets' self-descriptions are when presumably the audience could go 'you're not pining away for love, Jón Jónsson, I've met your wife!'

So anyway, these mansöngvar are often linked to the medieval German Minnesänger tradition (er. The actual German word might be slightly different because I still don't speak German despite my PhD supervisor's pointed remarks), which is more overtly love poetry and which sometimes features the poet as an abject and despised lover of some cruel lady. This is something rímur-poets from the later medieval period and onwards have an incredibly good time with. You may be familiar with the story of Þórr wrestling with Elli, the personification of old age in the form of an old woman. There are at least two medieval rímur poets who have a whole extended passage about 'oh alas, when I was young I was a terrible flirt but now I'm old and no women like me, except oh no, I am being courted by this ugly old giant lady; Elli is the only ladyfriend for me now, wah'. it's very playful, it's very fun, it's drawing on this general sense that the poets put forward that they're poetically gifted, but romantically unlucky, which is kind of a Thing for poets across a lot of European literature (and probably more broadly, but I don't know much about that), and is especially pronounced in the earlier Icelandic sagas about poets, which usually feature poets failing to win the love of their life for various reasons (sudden attack of Christianity; sudden attack of magic seals; sudden attack of Other Guy With Sword; etc). So in evoking this, rímur-poets are situating themselves in this existing Image of the Ideal Poet, but doing so in a way that ties them into the specifics of the Norse literary/mythological tradition as well. Poets are also frequently old and tired (same, bro), and a statistically improbably number of them are also blind (although that might just be two guys we know about who were really prolific; most rímur are anonymous so it's hard to say. But it is perhaps convenient that this also links them to A Great Poet of Old, namely Homer).

The other thing that rímur-poets really like to bring up in their mansöngvar is the myth of the mead of poetry, which I will not recount here except to say that Óðinn nicked it from a giant, and also that some dwarves used it to buy safe passage off a skerry once, so it's poetically termed 'ship of the dwarves' because it's the thing that brought them safely across the sea. Every single medieval mansöngur, if one exists at all, refers to this myth in some way, even if it's just by having the 'I made you some poetry' bit use a kenning for 'poetry' that references the myth.* And poets have a lot of fun with this too! Iceland's a coastal community, they know about boats, so you get these extended metaphors about poets trying to board a boat to sample the mead of poetry and finding only the dregs because other, better poets got there first. Or they will describe the process of poetic composition in terms of ship-building: 'Here I nail together Suðri's [a dwarf name] boat'; 'Norðri's ship sets out from the harbour [= I'm about to start reciting the main bit now]'; 'the fine vessel has now been wrecked on the rocks [=I'm going to stop reciting now]'. They'll also speak of poetry as smíð, which means a work of craftsmanship, usually physical craftsmanship (obviously cognate with smithing in English), and of brewing the ale of Óðinn, so they're really into metaphors of physical craft when it comes to the intellectual craft of poetry, which I think is really neat.

*kennings = poetic circumlocutions, e.g. 'snake of the belt' is a sword because swords are vaguely snake-shaped and hang from a belt. Common poetry kennings are '[drink/liquid/ale/wine/mead] of [any of Óðinn's literally dozens of names]' e.g. 'Berlingr's wine', and the aforementioned 'ship of the dwarves' - poetic Icelandic has literally dozens of words for different kinds of ships and also literally dozens of dwarf names, so you can get a long way without repeating yourself.

So all these things that I've mentioned that poets like to bring up - old age, unluckiness in love, poets as craftsmen - become more and more tropified as time goes on, which in turn leads to these imaginative and extended reworkings of the metaphor. No longer can you just say 'I'm old and no one fancies me', no, it's 'My only assignations now are with Elli, wink wink, here's a long description of our date'. So you end up with this very codified image of The Ideal Rímur-Poet as an old man,* ideally blind, ideally unmarried, incredibly self-deprecating about his poetry, and because that's how everyone else talks, it's self-reinforcing.

*there is one (1) known female rímur-poet from the medieval period, the poet of Landrés rímur, who unfortunately didn't write many mansöngur stanzas but is doing her best with the 'unlucky in love' bit, although her lover (male) seems to have died rather than ditched her, which is a novelty.

Anyway, it's cool and weird and fun and as I say, only me and Hans Kuhn care, academically speaking.

[bowsersex]

Anytime I see a post in which someone says "these (people I don't agree with) can't even make a phone call without getting anxious," I unfollow whoever reblogged it onto my dash. This isn't because I personally get anxious when I make phone calls. At one point in my life I did get anxious when making phone calls, but I got over this a long time ago and now I'm pretty confident on the phone.

The reason is because 1) 90% of the time OP doesn't know the people they're talking about and so they're just taking a guess in the hopes that it's true and it pisses these people off. 2) It's unnecessary to bring up. And 3) It's just mean-spirited.

Like I saw this again a couple weeks ago, but an example I can think of from a year or so ago was when dni-archive, a shitty Tumblr user who posts screenshots of people's bios to mock them, made a poll tournament for "most annoying tumblr user." Obviously this was horrible and shitty and faced backlash. I remember one user making a post about how shitty this was to do, but then said in the same post something like, "(dni-archive) can't even order food without getting anxious." And it's like ok, we don't even really know who this user is because they keep their identity anonymous (they don't even give a name on their blog). So saying this about them is like taking a shot in the dark and hoping it hits them.

It reminds me of how people used to say "people who harass others online are basement dwelling neckbeard losers who have no social lives," and how I saw a post on here many many years ago that pushed back on this saying how the reality is is that some people who harass others online have good social lives. They seem normal in person, they're liked among their coworkers, etc. But then they go online and make others feel like shit for fun. Similar to how abusers can be well liked people among their friends and with strangers, the same applies to people who harass others online.

So what's the point in guessing that shitty people online are bad at socializing IRL so as to insult them? Why not just point out their shitty behavior? It just seems unnecessary. It always makes me think that the OP isn't confident enough in saying "this person is mean-spirited to other people online for no good reason" or in some cases "these people leaving these specific comments have bad opinions and here's why." The OP feels the need to make up an insult to prove their point. It's like if you said "this person's behavior sucks, and also they're probably ugly," about an online user who never posts selfies.

Also the people I've followed in the past who reblog these posts making these insults also reblogged posts that say "We shouldn't conflate attractiveness to how morally good someone is," and "Any time you insult the appearance of some asshole you don't like, you hurt those you care about who share similar physical traits." And it's like, I don't understand why they don't apply those concepts to how well someone socializes. Socialization is easier to change than one's appearance for most people, but it still doesn't make sense to imply that how well someone socializes correlates to how morally good they are. And wow I think that last sentence was one of the most autistic sentences I've ever written.

Anyways it's just mean-spirited for no good reason, but unfortunately I feel like you can't say "saying this thing is mean-spirited for no good reason" and be taken seriously on Tumblr.

[ladyluscinia]

Ok, it's been hours, I've done a bunch of things, and I'm looping back to the Izzy Hands topic of the day because it turns out I do have something to say. So.

For anyone with a robust blocklist - short version: the "Izzy hates Stede for being a girly gay" vs "Izzy hates Stede for rich fuck crimes" is back. I will not be addressing this directly, because that's not what I care about today (and my stance is obvious lol). Instead, I want to elaborate on this short post since this particular debate is actually a really phenomenal example of what I'm trying to get at.

Because how do you insult a rich man?

I'm talking about a super straightforward, "I'm somehow in an elevator with Musk and I have one floor to say something mean to him" kind of insult? Or, to frame this correctly, how would you convey in a story someone insulting a rich man, so your audience can recognize quickly that A has a problem with B? Based on viral posts about Musk himself, some popular options are small dick, bastard, stupid, pig, rat, crybaby, toddler, unlikable, fragile ego, loser, etc. etc.

But like... What are those insults about?

See, insults are not neutral language (shocker). They're weighted with what our society sees as "bad", and rarely touch on what our society sees as "good". There's a million ways to call someone ugly (vs attractive), or weak and womanly (vs manly and respectable), or fat (vs strong and healthy), or unlikeable (vs socially accepted), or stupid and lazy (vs productive member of society)... I can go on for a while.

Being rich is one of those "good" things, so we straight up do not really have insults to say "you are bad for being rich and successful" (though we have plenty for "poor".). "Billionaire" might deserve to be a dirty word, but it's not. That's not how language works 🤷‍♀️ The closest is maybe "greedy" but that tends to quickly overlap with fat / lazy or comparing them to animals (i.e. subhuman). Or using wealth to imply a different failing - if he has to buy his friends it's because he's not charismatic, and that's the insult. Maybe in recent years bigotry has gone out of style enough that it can be a somewhat effective target, but even that's still context specific.

Insults are - at their core - about holding up some valued aspect of society and saying "you aren't doing this right". And a lot of those aspects are discriminatory on their face.

Pointing to a character insulting another character and saying you've found implicit internalized bigotry is some "fork spotted in kitchen" shit, especially about emasculating language. Men have spent all of human history coming up with ways to say they are better at being men than their rivals. From an audience perspective, the mere presence of a bias-informed insult (or a bunch of them) is realistically not going to convince everyone this character has an explicit bias being written into them, because they've gotten used to that going nowhere as a character trait.

Often, the asshole character is just being written as an asshole.

And to be clear, writers deal with this linguistic struggle. Sometimes they make up nonsense insults to try and create a culture that doesn't have our biases. They can use more direct examples and obvious slurs to denote the intended bigots, and conversely use more softened or otherwise defanged insults for the generic dicks. Insults like "bastard" are common as their moralizing is archaic. The insulted party & allies' reactions can cue you into how serious an insult is. And yeah, no shit it's all pretty subjective and individuals will disagree on reads, but it's still worth considering because while "being mean" is usually a character flaw, it's approached entirely differently than "being bigoted". Both of which are again different from "this work is reflecting the creators' bigotry." It's the same reason we need to be able to tell the difference between "justified killing" and "unjustified murder" in a story - it matters a lot in the storytelling.

Plus, fans who don't think about this are more likely to apply it by deciding the characters they like are lovable bastards 🥰 and the ones they don't like are undeniably bigots 🤬 and this is obviously, objectively true because don't you know "ponce" is a homophobic slur for men who aren't masculine enough?!? Clearly this is not about him being British upper class!

[seyaryminamoto]

From what I remember in your story, even taking Iroh's initial biases into account I thought part of his intense hostility leading up to his report to Ozai was that he was truly convinced that Azula's true nature was either no better or even significantly worse than Ozai's due to the Iroh's suspicions arc. Azula herself told Sokka she was worried that by throwing him of the trail of their relationship that she may have brought the worst out of him. Honestly this was probably my favorite exploration of their conflict, because if they were truly able to trust each other and talk they could have avoided so much pain and trouble, but both of them over the course of the story had developed genuine and/or biased reasons not to trust one another and viewed themselves as doing the right thing despite their actions ultimately resulting in the worst outcome. Azula was trying to prevent a known adversary from having ammunition to ruin their lives and future plans, and Iroh believed that he was essentially hindering the fire nation by turning what he thought were essentially two Evil Ozais with a good relationship with one another into enemies. I can't lie that I'm not slightly disappointed that in the latest chapter that this aspect of their conflict wasn't brought up more explicitly in the conversation with Zuko when Iroh was talking about his biases. Was I personally thinking that the dynamic was more significant than it actually was or is that dynamic being saved for a future conversation Iroh may have with Sokka and Azula?

Uuuuuh, as for the last question... I don't really know if I'll bring it up some more since I do think I've had Iroh acknowledge why and how he fucked up in that respect in the past + exteriorized that if Azula had acted differently he might just have done it too? Am I crazy for thinking so? Did I write that or didn't I? That's a complicated game to play when you're almost at 5 million words of a story... 🤣

Azula and Iroh miiiight have one more conversation in the future and maybe this will come up there, but I haven't written it yet so I won't make any promises on that front. Admittedly, I don't expect their future encounter to be particularly fruitful. Iroh is 100% genuine in what he has understood and learned, though, that can't be denied and I always have hoped to portray him not as a super wicked villain but as a character who thinks he understands far more than he actually does, with motivations that push him into making mistakes he very much comes to regret.

This being said, the Azula-Iroh and Zuko-Ozai parallels in this story are and always have been 100% intentional. Those two tugs-of-war have been going on forever, and the crux of them was very much the fact that Azula and Iroh distrusted and second-guessed and suspected each other soooo much... because they have similar natures, similar thought processes, and they're both intellectual, suspicious, hiding what's REALLY going on underneath the surface, and immediately wary when they recognize all those traits in each other too. Likewise, Zuko and Ozai have some REALLY ugly parallels and one of those parallels, already given away by the chapter you sent this ask over, is going to be the driving force of the conflict between those two, much as a similar thing was the driving force between Iroh and Azula, in its own way: the more they fight to push the other away, the harder they reject the other, the more they end up embodying the flaws they see in that other person, to an extent where they could do absolutely TERRIBLE things just out of wanting to push the other one as far away as possible.

So yeah, the point was never for Iroh to feel like some sadistic mustache-twirling villain who wanted Azula to suffer just for shits and giggles. He had his reasons to do what he did. Doesn't mean he was right. Doesn't mean he should've done it. What it means is it made sense in his head due to his biases, the information he had at hand at the moment, and the particularly awful relationship he had with Azula. Likewise, Azula's rejection of Iroh back in "Iroh's suspicions" caused her uncertainty and anguish because she KNEW she had taken it too far. She was afraid of the consequences. A part of her KNEW that if she acted differently, there was a chance, however slim, that Iroh might not have made the choice he did. And that's why this is such a messed up situation! :')

Ultimately, I want my characters to have motivations that just... add up. That can be traced. That, upon looking at their actions and choices, anyone can go "oh yeah, this is why they did whatever they did". This is good when it comes to establishing ultimate goals, and it's also good when you want to put characters to the test: how far are they willing to go, what are they ready to do to achieve whatever they're trying to achieve? How much are they willing to sacrifice for it? And the answers to those questions can be VERY extreme and painful. Just so, we can find characters who decide to back down and simply surrender over their goals when they realize that there are other things that matter more. But it's a manner of game a writer plays when it comes to gauging and figuring out what a character wants vs. needs, what a character will fight for and what it will take for them to surrender, and so on. Fundamentally, that's how I built up Iroh and Azula's chaotic dynamic. Whatever comes from that in the future, ultimately, their biggest problem may just be that they were just too smart for their own good, tried to outsmart each other a little too much, and never allowed themselves to just... accept each other properly. They came close to it once, yes! But... they failed. And it's depressing as hell, but complicated characters will always be challenging this way...

[sohemotional]

For the ask game: 💛 💚 💜

💛: What is a popular ship you just can’t get behind, and why?

Tbh... unpopular take but most of the popular ships in Glee don't appeal to me. I don't like P*zberry, Qu*nntana, F*berry, P*ckurt, P*ckleberry and H*vans. I won't get into all of it but one of them I just never understood is Kl/aine. Just never got it, even after five seasons I still don't get it, doesn't do anything for me at all.

💜: Which character is way hotter than everyone else seems to think?

Brittany. I noticed that Santana and Quinn basically get all the love in terms of their appearance whereas Brittany gets way more haters calling her ugly or just flat out ignoring her or just being the one who's forgotten about when people talk about attractive Glee girls. She's incredibly underrated. Her performances in the first Britney episode were so sexy and so was Run The World, to name a few examples but she gets so slept on because people prefer the other two. She usually gets the least amount of edits and fanart out of the Unholy Trinity (and maybe even most of the other girls?) sadly.

💚: What does everyone else get wrong about your favorite character?

Oh man... be prepared for a lot of unpopular takes. I wouldn't know where to start with what fandom get wrong about Brittany. Although tbh almost all the Glee characters get mischaracterized by fandom, so she's far from the only one. Based on the headcanons/art/fics I've seen, one thing I noticed is that Brittany gets taken to extremes in their portrayal of her.

There seems to be this constant need in fandom to prove that Brittany isn't stupid at all. Whereas, imo there's nothing wrong with her being stupid. I don't see it as a bad thing. She is smart in certain ways, like emotional intelligence. She's also not very smart at all in other ways. Her being stupid doesn't mean she has no worth or that she doesn't deserve love. It doesn't mean she can't be a good character.

She often gets written as this superwoman/independent woman who somehow is the best scientist/chef/doctor to ever exist with a million talents. She's too perfect. I feel like some fans do this to overcompensate for how she was passive/not super successful in conventional ways and not intellectual in the series. It just makes her way less appealing to me when she's portrayed like that.

She also sometimes gets portrayed in the reverse where she's completely childlike/incapable and helpless in every single way - worse than she ever was in canon even - with no edge or agency either which also is not really her.

Her traits like her quirky side that make her unique get washed out and she becomes what my friends and I refer to as the "Wattpad y/n girl" or the generic girl that's totally bland instead of having her Brittany-isms.

One thing I absolutely hate personally is the obsession with portraying Britt as this super dominant controlling top, or this masculine woman who pushes Santana around. It's just not her and it's gross to warp their dynamic into that imo. I see no appeal.

Another thing I noticed that bothers me is that fics often remove Brittany's sex appeal and femininity entirely for some reason. I often feel it's because they dislike the character or they just don't care about her at all.

I noticed on this site especially Brittany also gets demonized and portrayed like if she's some evil borderline sociopath who only cares about Santana and her cat. It's so weird to me, especially when it's fans of some of the biggest bullies on the show of all people who say they can't support Brittany because she's a "bully." Yeah, Brittany has a mean catty side and she dislikes a lot of people but she's not some extreme bully and no worse than most others on the show.

I noticed that people like to switch Brittana around and try to push Brittany's personality traits on Santana/vice versa for some reason.

For example, they are desperate for Santana to be the more cheerful bubbly one who loves all the New Directions and is super creative while Brittany gets pushed in the background and portrayed as the cold one who doesn't care about any of them except Santana. Which is closer to the reverse of how it is in canon. Brittany was the softer, more creative one of the two and they want Santana to be that instead. Or they portray Brittany as this jealous insecure girl with Santana who gets all heated in her jealousy (that is so unlike Britt - that's Santana). Brittany was rarely ever insecure or jealous at all.

Or alternatively, one thing that's annoying as hell is they want Brittany to constantly act as the protector for Santana who goes after people who they think wronged her, when in reality in canon it was almost always Santana who was actively protecting Britt. Brittany rarely ever went after someone who she felt hurt Santana or attacked them. I think her standing up to Alma Lopez and Artie when they were harsh about Santana were two of the only times but she never just ran after Santana's enemies and physically or verbally attacked them.

I also get annoyed by fandom acting like Britt had no agency at all in her romances. For instance, people seriously still act like Santana practically forced her to have sex with her in S2 or they act like Santana ruined Bram and forced Britt to break up with him. Which ??? that is so off. If you really think Brittany didn't know what she was doing was cheating on Artie in S2 or that she didn't want to have sex with Santana, idk what to tell you.

Another thing about the fan reaction to Britt that's way off is how so many people still say things like "Brittana was one-sided because Santana loved her more" or they act like Brittany ruined their relationship more or Santana was more committed/loyal to Britt than vice versa. I won't even get into that here but it is so untrue in canon.

[kdramabrainrotstation]

Okay, so I've been seeing quite a few posts around here saying that Soo Hyeon and Seun Ah deserved better, and that the writer is misogynist for treating them the way he(?) did, and as a woman, I have some Thoughts on it: (long rant ahead)

For some three or so years, I read mostly American YA fiction/fantasy, most, nay all of which were written by women and featured female protagonists and many female characters. I noticed a trend of "girboss-ifying" all the female characters: they were either chosen ones or world saviors or long lost queens, who could wield a sword and a gun at the same time, hated men (but would end up with one anyway) (God forbid women be single or worse, gay or bi), made some perfomative statement against the corrupt system or whatever, and honestly, after a point, it became so formulaic, predictable and downright boring. These women didn't even feel human anymore, they were just walking cliches for the writers to pat themselves on the backs for how progressive they were with.

Which is why when I began watching K dramas, it was such a refreshing change. I saw all kinds of women: good, bad, ugly, silly, compassionate, morally grey, downright evil. These women felt human, I could connect with them so much more. I didn't care that they weren't some mouthpieces for feminism; they were fleshed out, complex, well written characters.

Which is further why I liked Seon-ah (as a villain) and Soo Hyeon (well, I didn't really like the latter but more on that). Both of them had roles typically given to male characters (Seun-ah reminded of the dude whose villain arc begins with a woman saying no to him once) and I doubt anyone would've said they deserved better had they been dudes. Which is what I liked about them: Seun-ah is EVIL, and I loved her for it; I loved how unapologetic and cold and cunning and ruthless she was. I didn't like Soo Hyeon much after episode 12, but still, her character was a refreshing change from the types I see in YA.

My point is, I don't think it's misogynist to treat female characters this way, especially since we also had amazing female characters in the show itself like Elijah and Jin joo. Being a feminist also means acknowledging that women can do fucked up things, because we're HUMAN, and just because a show kills female characters or doesn't place them on some sort of pedestal, doesn't mean the creators hate women. I see male characters killed off all the time in YA, what's so wrong if a couple of female characters die? It's fiction, after all.

And honestly, I feel like I really needed to see women like Seun-ah. I'm sick to death of the stereotypical western girlboss, so these women were a refreshing change.

this ask is honestly so on point, and i'm so glad you came to me with it, because you put it into words that i couldn't quite manage. my two cents on it is essentially gonna be wordy agreement with you, but i have so many feelings about the way you spelled it out that i'm gonna break it down even further, on a level separating both characters and identifying their importance as they were.

the thing about both sunah and soohyun is that they were natural. they have their good and their bad qualities, but like you said, a part of feminism is identifying that women have positive and negative traits just like men do, rather than just outright saying they're perfect and can do no wrong. feminism is being able to understand women enough to put them on equal ground as men. it's not a desire to make them better or more morally-sound. it's giving female characters the same unique blend of characteristics as media often gives men. i praise the shit out of kdramas in general for knowing this balance perfectly when it comes to female characters. they give them their own personalities rather than just genres. they make them human.

i'll start with soohyun. she isn't a bad person, honestly. she just has the tendency to operate with her heart on her sleeve. i stand by what i've said in the past about her manipulating gaon, but she did it in a very human way. people in general don't like to be wrong about things. every human, i don't give a fuck who they are, thinks their view on morals is the right one. that's just human nature. soohyun is no different. she genuinely believes she is what's best for gaon, because it's always been the two of them. she has always taken care of him. even after his parents died, she tried to reel him in. she has a very strict view on right and wrong, and she has always extended that view out to gaon.

but she didn't do it because she knowingly wanted to control him. she did it because she cared for gaon and wanted what was best for him. i am a huuuuge kang yohan apologist, but just because i or the viewers or gaon might understand where yohan is coming from, soohyun's view is from the outside. gaon could have spelled out to her in gruesome detail why yohan did everything he did and soohyun would have still been against it, because her viewpoint says doing the wrong things to help the right people is still wrong.

when she got upset that gaon was at the scene of minister cha's suicide, she was meant to come off as unreasonable. she was supposed to overreact, because kang yohan happened to be there and there was obvious friction there. she identified yohan as a bad person who was going to drag gaon, someone she obviously loved more than her own life, into hell with him. she lashed out at gaon because he had stopped being so clear with her about what was happening and the next time she saw him he had blood on his hands and was sifting through the pockets of a dead woman.

soohyun wasn't meant to be perfect. she was meant to be caring and full of love but also misguided as a result of that love. the contrast between her and yohan was intentional--meant to encourage gaon to think independently because he didn't wholeheartedly agree with either of them.

but the way she was written wasn't meant to demonize women. it was meant to put on display just how human nature can sway someone's thoughts and actions to the extreme. the devil judge at its core is about humanity and its more ugly qualities. both women and men in the show have their ugly qualities.

i don't like soohyun as a character, but i definitely don't think it's because of misogyny. she loved gaon with her whole heart, but she let it consume her and, yeah, she was manipulative and selfish. i respect that the show was bold enough to show that rather than paint her out to be innocent just because she was a love interest.

now, sunah. to be quite honest, i adore sunah. villain or not, she is one of my all-time favorite female characters. i laugh at the fact that there are people who think she is badly written, because she is easily one of the most complex characters in any show i've ever seen.

the thing is, sunah is pitiful. but she is written in such a way that you don't see her that way until the end. yohan calling her out on it is the first time you see her waver.

to me, she is an example of overcoming adversity by becoming a beast. abused as a child, sunah at some point had decided she had had enough and dealt with her mother on her own. nobody else was going to help her, so she was going to help herself. nobody cared that she was suffering. she wasn't their problem. she hated the wealthy for looking down on the poor. from the beginning, she was going to take from the rich and live on a mountain of their bodies. she is a person built with drive--strength gathered from weakness. she is almost always in complete control, even when she operates as a secretary.

she is one of the few characters who can reel yohan in. she and he have so much in common but are also so vastly different. she saw how yohan was treated and related to him because of her own past. but she also saw how isaac treated him and she never got that. she was jealous, which is another very human trait, but she also never learned how to handle that. so despite being straight up in love with yohan, she wanted to put him in her place. she wanted him to see what her loneliness felt like.

so when gaon came along, she saw the perfect opportunity. but her storyline was never just about breaking yohan down or showing rich people their own asses. her storyline was about finding power for herself and showing that her worth was so much more than her social status. correct me if i'm wrong, but in korea, social status is directly tied to where you stand financially, too. sunah overcame that. she was incredibly powerful, and she wasn't just some one-sided demon.

if anything, i'm impressed by her. i don't think the writers were misogynistic with her at all. i think her character was about self-empowerment. on top of that, we get to see how she took it too far, and how she realizes she did. the virus, the farms, how the poor became science experiments because she let too much slide in order to stay where she was. seeing yohan break down over the cctv clip, how she cried at the end of all that. she took it too far and she knows it.

i genuinely find it laughable that anyone sees that as bad characterization. just because you don't like a character doesn't mean they were written badly. but purity culture and hive-mindedness tend to make people think very squarely. my point is you're absolutely right. both soohyun and sunah were brilliantly written, and there is nothing misogynistic about their characterization.

to be honest, that viewpoint probably stems from the fact that they both died in the end. which also wasn't misogynistic. their characters were just that way. soohyun was inevitably going to get herself killed trying to protect gaon, and sunah was eventually going to take things too far and succumb to guilt. nobody could take her life but herself. plain and simple.

[garthofshayeris]

I've seen you've talk about how rebirth Garth is not real Garth and I believe you obviously mean personally I am still annoyed over Roy's clone from n52 that everyone keeps acting like is Roy is still a thing, but how is he different?

I’m so glad you asked! It sounds obvious, but typically people like a character for their personality or their story arcs or their character development. Like, why else would you like a character, right? So when there are huge changes to the things that make you like the character, uh…there’s not much left.

So, obviously with reboots some things are going to be changed. Maybe someone’s appearance is altered. some of their backstory is switched up, some personality traits get dropped or added. What sucks about Rebirth Garth is they changed everything about his character, none of it for the better. And for a character who, until now, has had a major part to play in Aquaman and other dc comics for about half a century, it’s honestly pretty insulting. So many creators poured their hearts into shaping him into a character before the reboot. There was so much love put into his stories, that the comparison to rebirth is so, so noticeable. Like…if Dick Grayson was rebooted with a completely different backstory and personality and was only vaguely related to the Batfamily, I think fans would be rightfully upset. I feel the same about Garth.

His personality, or whatever attempt they made at one, is bland and boring. He’s a brute who likes fighting and….that’s it. Compared to preboot Garth who is consistently sweet and sensitive and emotional and good. He’s just a good guy who thinks of fighting as a last resort, because he would rather use his words than his fists. It was such a lovely, refreshing take on a male character (and one who is in big name comics like Aquaman and Titans and JLA) that to lose one of his key elements is terrible sad and disappointing.

Garth’s story is, ultimately, completely tied to Arthur’s. They bring out the best and worst in each other. Garth is Arthur’s foil, from the start he is there to complement Arthur as a hero and they’re part of each other’s arcs. And his backstory heavily influences how Garth acts and what he does. His story is one of grief and loss and identity and overcoming stigma, prejudice, and taking control of your destiny. His story is about healing. Or it was.

Because Rebirth Garth doesn’t have any of that. He is, essentially, a completely different character who happens to be named Garth. Sure, he mentioned offhandedly that when he was in Magic College he had a girlfriend who Died Tragically and then they never mentioned that again. It’s a cheap imitation of his Tula storyline, told in like 2 panels, because Tula is also a completely different character now. They’ve spoken in canon once. Two characters who have been so closely joined together for 50 years barely know each other now. This is the same for every other character who still exists in Aquaman canon (they’ve written out a ton). He’s never even spoken to his other love interest in preboot, Dolphin, at all.

Let’s get back to Magic College though. Garth’s powers (or the few he retained from his original power set, though honestly he just like glows now? They’ve never really explained what he can do) are there because he went to underwater Hogwarts and I guess you can just do that and become magic. In comparison, preboot Garth has magic because he’s an abandoned prince from a long line of powerful sorcerer-kings. But power corrupts and his father is murdered and his mother flees, and although she abandons Garth as birth he is so haunted by their deaths that they plague his nightmares. His powers are earned through an incredibly moving journey that includes (among other things) closure from grief and the literal act of taking ones destiny into their own hands. Garth earns his powers because he is pure of heart, because he is brave, and because he loves so, so much and because others loved him. And when he uses those powers in other comics, you remember the meaning behind them. So Rebirth Garth being magic “just because” is so reductive, so boring, so uninspired. I’d rather him be an average atlantean.

But Garth has absolutely no history with the Aquafamily. Giving us an emotional story with him now would be meaningless because he has no part in the comics or the Aquafam. Sure, they mentioned once that Arthur “raised” Garth but…there’s no evidence of that. They don’t speak to each other in Rebirth. There’s actually no way Arthur could have done that in the canon timeline, but it doesn’t matter because they make no attempt to show he’s even part of the family. Garth has been to exactly zero life events for Arthur. He’s never met Arthur’s daughter. He’s never shown just hanging with the others, and they hang out with assholes who tried to kill them before. He is never there. But we are told, once, that he and Arthur like each other. This character means nothing. You can write him out of the few issues he appears in and nothing changes. He’s completely worthless as a character.

So his personality is gone, his backstory is gone, his character themes and growth are gone…surely he still looks the same?

Wrong. He’a ugly. I’m sorry, he is. Everyone is always posting pictures of him saying he’s so pretty (and comparing him to his look on TT:YO as if those aren’t completely different continuities?) but he looks like every other black haired character in DC right now. He looks like Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson and Time Drake and every other fucking guy it’s boring and it’s stupid. He has ugly straight hair (a far cry from Garth’s usual big, curly locks) in a boring ponytail because apparently YJ and TT are the only source the artists ever used to draw him. And his eyes. He has blue eyes. BLUE. When his character has had purple eyes for his entire existence, when his purple eyes have been a major plot point for his entire existence, when his purple eyes were his one defining trait for his entire existence. Insulting.

And he has eye tattoos. Sure, you say, because we all know Garth got his eye scars while training with Atlan (also now a completely different character) when claiming his birthright (written out of canon) to gain his powers (written out of canon) so yeah, maybe they’re just tattoos now. Except some dumbass at DC couldn’t be bothered to put them on the right side of his face. Yet another defining character trait completely fucked up because nobody at DC cared about making this character. He exists to tick off a box, to say “hey, look, we brought back a character you guys wanted. Buy our comics.”

So, when I say Rebirth Garth isn’t the “real” Garth, this is what I mean. The characters are different in every way that makes characters matter. He’s a character who shares a name and nothing else. And I hate him.

[codenamesazanka]

Warning: Rant, character bashing, lots of opinions

I'm saying it outright. I hate Deku. He is entirely underwhelming as a character, much less as the main character, the shonen protagonist of the series.

It's a 'different' type of dislike, though. I feel like I could've like his character. There's nothing greatly disagreeable about him, he's as inoffensive as can be, he's an optimistic, considerate, and polite boy, he's as plain as he is said to be, and that's fine.

My issue is that he's not the character he's said to be. I, personally, just don't buy that he "possesses a drive to save others that eclipses all common understanding", or that he's super intelligent with great analytical abilities that he actually applies on the battlefield, or, in general, he's as amazing or heroic or compassionate as he's apparently supposed to be. How can he be inspiring if he barely challenges any aspects of the society he lives in. Deku is a super good example of the terrible use of "Tell, Don't Show". We're told about his amazing traits, but he rarely follows through; when we do see hints of it, it's lauded but frankly I think it's typical behavior and (this though is not quite his fault) written so stiffly and awkwardly I'm not convinced.

(Honestly I might even call him a Canon Mary Sue. He has no interesting or distinguishable flaws, unless having a shit for brains attitude is one but that's not acknowledged by the narrative. Breaking bones is not a personality trait. If he has a Hero Complex, it's not even the interesting ones where he fucks things up even more; or carries crippling guilt about circumstances beyond his control; or focuses completely on saving people to the point of rejecting almost all human connections and keeping deadly secrets - which is All Might's big flaw.) (Well fair, he does this in the most recent chapter but did it need to take 300+ chapters? Plus I sense the way it's framed is that it's the radical, but right course of action.)

Say what you want about Villains and redemption/shouldn't be redeemed/too evil to be saved/justice/etc, but I think this 'Incredible Drive To Save' should've included Villains from the start. Why does Deku want to "Save people with a smile on his face"? Assuming it's empathy, he should have felt some towards everyone he encounters, whether it's sensible or not. "Why are you so angry?", "You shouldn't go about things this way", "What caused them to be like this?", "Why is there evil in the world?" even. I'm still fuming over his Mall Encounter with Shigaraki, where Shigaraki pretty much reveals his damage: "All Might acts like there's no one he can't save"; but ultimately Deku goes "Wow, that sure is an opinion."

What kind of inane response is this??? There's little pushback from the narrative either, so this isn't pointed out as a failing of his (because, again, he has no big flaws). And he's supposed to be smart and caring. Yes, he does ask All Might right after the Mall Encounter, "Was there anyone you can't save?"; but essentially the replies he gets is "Don't worry about it" and Deku immediately largely puts it out of his mind "Oh whew, I was about to do some introspection and reflection". There isn't even the daunting, kinda-existential anxiety that people get when they realize it's impossible to save/help everyone - which is something, like, medical workers have to learn to deal with - that sharp sense of the inevitably of death, of loss, failure, guilt. I'm not asking for him to come to the conclusion that everyone should be saved - he could've decided nah, Shigaraki is too ugly to be saved and I would've been fine with that, it's part of the character role and potential development - just that he should've had a conclusion at all.

There are the latest chapters where Deku decides he wants to try saving Shigaraki first (though killing him is still on the table), true. Him wanting to save Shigaraki after seeing AFO merged with him, after seeing The Crying Child - but see, I don't think it qualifies because I think it's the bare minimum about of consideration, the typical response to seeing the body horror of warped, fused flesh, to seeing a small sad little boy. I think it shouldn't require "You look like you needed saving" for a true Hero to consider saving someone. Not for someone who is supposed to be unique and special in this regard.

*

I've complained about this before, but the trouble with Deku was evident from the very beginning.

Again, Deku wants to save people with a smile on his face, and again, I’m assuming it’s empathy. We're shown this on the very first page, as he attempts to protect a friend(?) from bullies, but imo like it felt groundless because who was the kid he was protecting? We never see him again. Did Deku's standing up to Bakugou work, and the kid was saved? Or did they both got beaten up; but afterwards, being the kind boy Deku is supposed to be, he still gets to his feet to help the boy, to apologize for failing.

But more significantly, this theme of saving was overshadowed immediately by his focus on superpowers - that he was quirkless. Next page, his focus was on ‘Woah, giant villain and superpowers!’ Instead of like. Helping people. (Though I chalk this up to early installment weirdness)

What should’ve happened if the theme was ‘SAVE PEOPLE’ Is something like: The opening sentence being “People are not born equal. This is the harsh truth I learned when I was four. I knew that... but despite my powerless, I still wanted to help. That was my first and last setback.” And the panels/images themselves (of little Katsuki and his friends) implies that people on the world thinks you need power to help people.

When he saw the villain attack on way to school, Deku can be wow’ed by the spectacle! But then he notices a kid crying and offers to help find his mom. He can be interrupted by a Hero saying he (the hero) will take over, he can find the mom and realize he’s late for school (and so that shows he’s willing to sacrifice something of his to help others! Because of his altruistic nature!). A scene like that, of him helping the lost kid, we would know that he wants to help *anyone*. At school, though, he still gets bullied for not having powers. So he’s mulling over that when he meets All Might, and asks the question.

It proceeds as usual for the next few events: When the sludge monster attacks Katsuki, he can still go gawk at the scene. He can still hesitate. In canon, it's only when he realized the victim was his friend that he jumps into action, which I thinks undermines the theme of 'wanting to save indiscriminately'. IMO, it would've been better that Deku sees it’s his friend, but he still hesitates. “There’s nothing I can do right? All Might himself said so...” But when he sees Katsuki’s *face* of fear, he runs to help. Instead of seeming like he helps only because he realizes it’s his friend, he helps because he feels too deeply about trying to save Katsuki.

Admittedly these are minor, personal critiques; but all in all, the first chapter fails to establish Deku is the willpowered, champion of wanting to save people he's supposed to be.

--Which is fine, if it's acknowledged in the story later, that maybe he wasn't the True Blue Hero he's supposed to be at first, but he can change and still become one. But it's not - Deku is apparently special, without anything special to show for it.

*

I read the one-shot "My Hero" - the prototype for this series - that Horikoshi published years ago, before My Hero Academia was created. I also found it underwhelming, but that was due to personal tastes (I wanted more explosions and dumb violence); as a story on it's own merit, the logic and progression was solid.

The Villains Heroes fought were 'Aberrations' - true inhuman monsters that showed no sentience that would eat people - so the focus could be solely on saving humans. The main character - Jack Midoriya - his original goal was less 'save people' and more 'become a cool hero', before learning that saving people is what true heroism is about, hero license unneeded. (Moreover, he really did 'save' someone without being a hero - by working hard, he was preventing the company from becoming ruined completely, which the CEO had confessed and thanked him for. )

This version of Midoriya didn't exactly needed deep empathy or compassion for that, just a strong willpower, which he effectively demonstrated by chasing after a childhood dream even as an adult salaryman in a tanking company, even though he had anemia and no training and no license. He insisted on this, to the point of getting hurt by being dumb, of being petty over someone dissing the Hero who inspired him in the first place, of skipping out of work and going vigilante. Not the most upstanding guy, but he came through in the relevant themes of the story, in being the character the story needed him to be.

Jack Midoriya was an unimpressive, weird-looking, weak, pitiful, somewhat selfish, awkward salaryman with no great aspects that 'eclipses all common understanding'. But he was a far stronger character than his incarnation Izuku Midoriya could ever be (so far).

[mooifyourecows]

Hi! I was wondering how you stick to writing a story? I've always written a lot, but could never get past a few hundred words before dropping it. I have so many ideas for fics that I'd like to write, but I can't seem to follow through to the end.... Any advice?

No creator finishes 100% of the projects they start, so don’t beat yourself up about this. It’s a very real struggle that everyone goes through, so you’re definitely not alone!

I have dozens of stories that never made it past the early stages of writing and others that didn’t even get past the brainstorming stage. And it’s definitely frustrating, especially when you’re really in love with an idea but your brain just doesn’t want to cooperate with you.

I’m not sure if there is any perfect advice that can be given for this specific thing. Everyone deals with the lack of motivation and inspiration differently and what works for me might be useless to you.

Personally, the best way for me to get into the headspace of a story is to expose myself to it in any way possible. I’ll spend time thinking about it throughout the day, when I’m doing the dishes or going on a walk or driving to the store. One of the first things I do when I begin brainstorming a new story is create a playlist for it, so when I’m trying to get into the story enough to write it, I’ll listen to the playlist as much as possible. I’ll try to think up scenarios or backstory or character traits. If I’ve written any of it yet, I’ll reread what I have so far.

I expose myself to the story until I feel like I absolutely have to write some of it or I’ll go crazy.

Sometimes that doesn’t work though. Sometimes I’ll be ridiculously determined to write something but just.... can’t.

But in my journey in trying to cure my “never finish anything” disease, I’ve realized a few things about myself and my writing process.

Sometimes I’ll drop a story just because I can’t get past one tiny speed bump. It’s usually just one troublesome scene that I, for the life of me, cannot figure out how to progress. It’s never anything huge or complicated... I just can’t get the words out that take the characters from here to there. This frustrates me to the point that I toss the story to the side with the idea that I’ll pick it up later, but later comes and the problem hasn’t magically disappeared. To get over this, I literally just... force myself to write SOMETHING. Even if it’s really stupid, just absolute garbage that sounds and looks bad and doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t matter. Once I get over the speedbump, I’ve opened up the road to keep writing and even if it’s a little rocky at first, eventually I’ll get into a groove again. 

Other times, I’ll drop a story because I’m trying too hard to write a final draft instead of my first draft. I’ve always been a perfectionist, and I often wind up super depressed and discouraged because I feel like I’m never putting out the quality of content that I should be putting out. Fanfic has been incredibly freeing for me because through it, I’m able to force myself to be content with what I have. Nothing I write is perfect and it’s definitely nowhere near what I want or expect from myself, but I post it anyway, and people seem to really like it. It’s validating to offer what my low self-esteem is SURE is garbage to people and have them take it and call it art.

It’s been a challenge, but I’m learning how to accept that a first draft is supposed to be messy and ugly and just... shit. When I understand and accept this, words come easier. I can write garbage and know it’s garbage without feeling like the fact that it’s garbage makes it not worth writing. I can write garbage because eventually I’ll recycle it into something people want to read. I don’t have to worry about making all my sentences sound good because I’m the only one who will be reading this draft. I don’t need to worry about sounding repetitive. I don’t need to stress over my inability to write descriptions. In the beginning, all I have to do is put words, any words, on paper. There’s always time to fix it later.

Uhhmmm I really don’t think I have any other advice than that? Just... force yourself over the tiny speedbumps and don’t be scared to write garbage. 

Let yourself be a bad writer! That’s honestly one of the most important things I think writers ought to learn. Nobody is spitting out final drafts on their first run through. If they are... well point me in their direction. I have a heart to eat and powers to absorb.

Writing is hard. 

So hard.

One of the most validating moments in my life was when my brother, who has always been better than me at EVERYTHING, a legit natural born genius who can pick something up and force himself to master it through pure willpower, tried to write a novel and gave up almost immediately. I swear I almost started crying when he looked at me and said, “Writing is so hard. How the hell do you do it?” 

Be kind to yourself.

Let your writing suck.

Stress begone, you’re doing great and I’m very proud of you. <3

[harrycook]

27

June 12th 2018 was my 27th birthday.

Here are 27 things I feel like I have learnt about life so far:

1. Don’t Argue With Stupid People.

You get nowhere. It’s like playing scrabble with a dog, no matter how well you play, the dog will end up shitting on the board and walking away like he won anyway.

2. Eat The Damn Cake.

Yes I know that eating right and exercise is important for your health, but if you are in the vicinity of a cake or delicious bite of something, just eat it.

3. Working Is A Part Of Life, Not The Entirety Of Life.

Unless you adore what you do for a living and it is your pasison and life’s mission, take a deep breath and don’t take it all so seriously. At the end of the day, a job is to pay the bills and have pocket money to go and enjoy yourself when you’re not working. Unless you are genuinely passionate about your career, don’t sweat it. Don’t break your back worrying about a job that would replace you within a week if you dropped dead.

4. Don’t Take Anything Seriously, Seriously.

Unless you are performing open heart surgery or have the cure for cancer in your back pocket, lighten the fuck up. No matter what your job is, ask yourself if it will matter in 100 years? If not, giggle and let it go. The world won’t stop spinning if you miss a deadline or make a mistake. Breathe. It’s all good.

5. Ignorance Is A Choice.

Yes. It’s 2018. There is no excuse for ignorance or stupidity when we have more information on our phones than a public library. If you don’t understand something, research it. Pick up a book, scan the internet, question everything, especially the news. Be curious, ask questions and most of all, don’t be lazy. Educate yourself so the world can be full of kinder, more worldly individuals who know what they are talking about.

6. Throw Away Anything You Thought You Knew That Doesn’t Sit Well With Your Values.

We grow up in a society that feeds us garbage from the moment we enter the world. Boys are taught to be one way and girls are taught to be another. It’s a system that hasn’t changed in hundreds of years because society wants us to constantly keep within the mold. Screw that. Break the mold and let people be who they want to be. Go after a job you want, not what society wants for you. Travel, see the world, stop worrying about what everyone else is doing and go after the stuff that means something to you.

7. Laugh At Every Chance You Get.

Nothing beats a good belly laugh. Plus, it’s also extremely healthy. Laugh as often as you can. This goes straight back to the not taking anything seriously thing. Giggle more. It works wonders for the soul.

8. Get A Hobby.

The past year I have picked up the piano again (not literally 'picked it up', obviously, but started learning again), attempted to learn Spanish, set a goal of reading a book a fortnight (up to book 25) and started working out a minimum of three times a week. Each year older I start realising how quickly time goes and how many amazing things are at my disposal to learn or try.

9. Read The News, Then Read It Again, And Then Research Some More.

Don't take anything at face value. Just because the news tells you one thing, don't take it as gospel. These news shows are run by multibillionaire white men and corporations with agendas. Don't take it at face value. Look in to things. Read as much as you can and become your own private investigator for the truth. Just because a news show says something, doesn't make it fact.

10. Read More.

Nothing opens up the heart and mind more than a good book. The excuse of not having enough time to read doesn't cut it. Instead of watching an hour of Netflix, take an hour to open a good book. It's good for the soul. Trust me.

11. Get A Pet.

YASSSSSSS. Get a dog. Then get another dog. Then when you think you simply can't handle the amount of snuggles you are getting, get another dog!! In all seriousness, dogs are extremely good for your health. They reduce stress and anxiety, boost happiness and are wonderful snuggle buddies. Adopt don't shop! There are plenty of rescue animals in need of good homes.

12. Sometimes People Hurt You. It Sucks.

Yes. Sometimes the people you never in a bazillion years thought could hurt you, will hurt you terribly. I had an experience in recent years with extended family that completely shifted my entire outlook on people in general. Sadly, some of the people you think you know are far from what you think. It sucks, yes, but once you acknowledge it, it slowly stops hurting. You can move on with your life when you realise that sometimes a wake-up call is all you need to realise that you're better off without certain people in your life. And that's totally ok.

13. Log Off. Often.

The age of social media is WONDERFUL for so many reasons. Keeping in contact with people, viewing beautiful content, learning things with a click and the hours and hours of streamable content are all fantastic reasons to use social media. But on the flip side, it can also be an information overload and I highly advise switching off, taking a bath and leaving your phone somewhere away from you for a few hours. It can't be healthy getting a constant stream of negative news 24/7. So unplug. Those cute puppy pics will be there when you get back.

14. Exercise.

I know, I know, YUCK. Exercise isn't the most fun of activities, and I am the first to admit that whenever I heard someone say "but the endorphins are good for your happiness levels" I'd roll my eyes so far back in my head I could see my brain. But it's completely and utterly true. Just a 40 minute run 3 times a week has improved my mood ten fold. I've suffered with depression, anxiety and addiction for years, but exercise allows me to completely refresh and enjoy the day on a belly full of endorphins. Do it for the feeling you get, not to achieve some unattainable body. It works a treat. Trust me.

15. Napping Is AMAZING.

Yes. Napping is one of the best damn things to do. Nothing beats an afternoon nap. It refreshes you for the rest of the day and is a great way to reboot the system. Don't let people tell you otherwise. It's bloody fantastic.

16. Journal.

I've written a journal since I was ten years old and looking back on all the adventures, worries, achievements and memories throughout the years is something I cherish so incredibly much. Studies have shown that journalling is really healthy for the mind and soul. Grab a notebook and get doodling.

17. Take Photos.

If taking selfies is your thang, go for it. If taking pictures of trees, animals or the sunset gets you going, snap away. Taking photos is therapeutic for a number of reasons, but most of all it's a lovely way to document your life with things to look back on. Get snapping.

18. Never Think You Know It All.

It's easy to be arrogant when we are conditioned all our lives with things we are expected to believe. "Boys should do this", "girls should do that". But just because we've been taught it from a society that has never been challenged to think differently, doesn't make it right. Question everything. Stay curious. Look into things and don't dismiss stuff you know nothing about. Not only is it a really ugly personality trait, it gets you nowhere in life. Opening your mind and heart is a surefire way of experiencing life in all its' beauty.

19. Go After What You Want In Life.

Jim Carey did a graduation speech about his father who never went after his dreams because he wanted to do the ‘safe thing'. Have a 'stable' career that would provide for his family. From memory, his father failed and lost everything in his 'stable' career. The moral being that if you are going to fail at something, at least let it be something you love, because the fact is it is just as possible to fail at something you hate. Give it a go. Life is too short to not go after what you want.

20. Travel. Travel. Travel.

See the world. It'll show you that we humans are all the same. It replaces ignorance with knowledge and shows you how vast our planet is. Get out there.

21. Someone Who Is Nice To You But Not Nice To The Waiter Is Not A Nice Person.

I love this quote because it's so damn true. Don't be a dick to service people. Don't think you're better than anyone because you're not. End of story. Period.

22. Get Over Yourself.

Sort of a continuation of the above, this is just a reminder to get over yourself, have a giggle and realise that just because you have a fancy car, a nice suit or well manicured hands means absolutely sweet F.A. Being a good person, showing kindness, empathy and caring about the planet and human beings as a whole is what counts in my books. Just be a good person. It's that simple.

23. Tell Your Loved Ones You Love Them And Don’t Go To Bed Angry.

Pretty self explanatory this one, but all the same, something to remember constantly. Life is far too short to go to bed angry at someone. Throw away silly arguments and tell the people you care about how you feel.

24. Screw What People Think Of You.

I mean it. Who cares what someone else thinks of you? That's their stuff. How they perceive you and how they feel about you is none of your business. Water off a ducks' back. Let it go.

25. Try Not To Worry So Much.

I know. Easier said than done, but sometimes it helps to take a step back, take a deep breath in and ask a few key questions: Can I do anything to change the current situation? If yes, do it. If not, let it go. Breathe through it and remember all we ever have is right in this moment.

26. Meditate.

YASSSSSSSSS times a million. Meditating is one of the most powerful things I have ever learnt in my 27 years on this planet. Taking a moment to just sit and reflect and focus on the here and now is one of the most intensely wonderful ways of reconnecting to what matters. There are a million different apps you can use or simply sit and count your breaths. It works wonders.

27. Life is what you make it, but most of all it’s about love.

Love, family, friends and making memories is the most important thing in life. Every year on this earth I realise more and more how utterly stupid it is to worry about material things. Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't enjoy material stuff whatsoever, but it shouldn't be what you go after in life. Nobody ever gets to the end of their life clutching on to their Chanel bag. The things that matter are the people you love and the memories you make.

So go for a walk, take in the view, have a laugh and breathe in every moment of every day. It's all we ever have.

- Harry.

[tahitianmangoes]

Recently I’ve been writing a commission fic where the main character is sexually assaulted (SA) and the fic centres around on how he and his partner deals with the aftermath.

I posted part 2 yesterday and woke up to comments this morning from people who had also suffered SA and these comments moved me in a way I wasn’t expecting.

In the past I’ve been criticised for writing SA and I understand it is not the most readable of topics, that in mainstream media it is often used as a personality trait for a victim, it is poorly executed and sexualised but I write it because it happened to me too and while it feels like a lifetime ago, it's something I think of almost every day.

In the past I’ve had comments where people would complain about the topic and one person even went as far as to say that the character wouldn’t have been subject to SA as they were “big and manly” (or words to that effect) which is an unfortunate symptom of someone believing the media when they present the idea that there are only certain people who face SA.

Doubtless many of you already know that this is not the case but I’ll keep banging the drum to wake others up to the fact that *anyone* can be a victim of SA. Any gender, any size, any age, any race, ethnicity, any sexuality - anyone. Think about where your biases have come from where you believe that only certain people can be SA victims and challenge that thought.

I’ve never had other people reach out and tell me their experiences and that touched me, that they felt they could share with me, because I understand how private it is. I've never told anyone in my offline life about what happened to me. Part of me thinks because it was long ago and in a different country so what good would telling anyone do? And the other part of it I guess feels guilt and shame - what could I have done differently, what should I have done to prevent it?

So I write about it in my fanfiction. I write about characters being assaulted and how it affects them and how they overcome it, if they can. Maybe there's a therapeutic aspect to it in a macabre way. If I write someone else living my reality, it is no longer mine but theirs. It's a step away from myself.

I don't know if I'll stop writing about it but I know that I will never make it a sideshow. It's not written for someone to get off on. I'm never going to romanticise it and I implore others not to do so either. I write it to show the impact. I don't necessarily intend to *help* others as I'm aware I'm not qualified to do so but if it does then that's a point of pride. Something beautiful that has bloomed out of something so very fucking ugly.

I write about it because it happens to people every day. It is my reality and other's. I won't have some pearl clutcher or some purist censor my reality and the reality of many, many other people. If it is something you cannot read or don't want to then there is a simple solution - don’t read it. And for the love of God, don’t condemn someone who already feels guilt for the thing that happened to them that they had no say or control over.

I'd recommend watching Hannah Gadsby's Nanette if you're mentally up for it, her anger and her resilience really inspires me to keep pushing on and telling my story through other characters. For those who felt they could tell me their stories, thank you. I hope you have been able to move on and that the pain has lessened and continues to do so with time.