#i've stared at this computer all day and i have the worst headache but hey! the fic is finally done!!! 😭

[queerdiazs]

no one else on earth | 4.4k, complete

written through @911actions for ollie!

Josh’s ringtone chimes. He snatches the phone off the counter, sees who it is, and giggles like a schoolboy; he grabs his coffee and rushes out of the break room, answering the call with a, “Hi, Buck,” that makes Eddie’s head pound.  He sighs, stands off the stool he was perched on, and makes his way to the coffee pot to pour himself a cup. It sloshes out, thick like used motor oil, and he reckons he could put it in his pickup if he was in a tight spot.  Sugar usually fixes most everything, so he finds the tub and spoons out a couple heaps, stirring it around with a plastic spoon. “I hate that bitch so much,” he mutters beneath his breath, shaking his head. “This is ridiculous.”  From the other side of the room, May barks a sharp laugh and then covers her mouth. “Who are you talking about?” she asks, giggling. “Josh?”  “Mhm.” He takes a drink of his coffee and pulls a face; the sugar didn’t help so he rummages through the refrigerator for the special creamer he and Linda hide behind the big ass bottle of ketchup. “He can’t even make good coffee, May. Coffee. That should be a mandatory skill for this job.”  “Your breakdown really changed you, dude.”  Eddie shoots her a half-hearted glare. “Watch your mouth.”  She squeaks, chortling with laughter again. “Eddie,” she begins, higher than normal, “don’t take this the wrong way, and please understand where I’m coming from, but are you homophobic?”   He frowns. “What? No.” He adds another pinch of sugar in his coffee, hoping it’ll mask the burnt taste, and stirs in the creamer, too. “I hate Josh because he’s Josh, not because he’s gay.” 

read the rest on ao3

[yanban-san]

I appreciate all the baked goods you send my way. But I’ve had my own brain worm with all the nsfw asks about the demon/eldritch au like… poor Elesa running damage control every time those guys completely miss social cues. Like she’s been over this- she made a PowerPoint for this!!!

Darling: “Hey Elesa what kind of phone do you have?”

Elesa: “The iPorygonX 13 why?”

Darling: “Well my phone has been acting weird for the past couple weeks.”

Elesa, immediately smelling Tauros shit: “Oh yeah?”

Darling: “Yeah! Ever since I started at the Gear Station I’ve been having weird glitches!”

Elesa, immediately taking an aspirin for the headache she knows is coming: “Wow, that’s so weird.”

Darling: “Right? Sometimes like my messages disappear, and what’s really, really weird is that I can’t download any of the new dating games off the App Store!”

Elesa, praying to Arceus for patience: “Huh, that’s-thats so weird.”

Darling: “And the worst part- and this might be a TMI and please stop me if you’re uncomfortable-“

Elesa, hoping she’s wrong and doesn’t know where this is going: “Y-Yeah??”

Darling: “Lately like- and you have to promise not to tell anybody- none of my… *whispers* none of my porn videos are loading.”

Elesa, regretting begging for her memories not to be erased. “O-oh that’s… that sucks… like a lot.”

Darling: “I am so sorry if that was over sharing-“

Elesa: “N-no it’s fine…”

Darling: “Like I’m pretty sure it’s not the hosting website, but like either they don’t load at all or they load but the people in it don’t look right. Like somebody re-uploaded the video with bad compression to make all the dudes have grey hair.”

Elesa, placing her head in her hands: “Yeah that’s so bizarre, maybe- maybe getting a new phone would help.”

Darling: “Yeah, I think that’s the only option I have left, if it doesn’t work… I don’t think I can do anything else.”

Elesa knows what other options you have, the two of them probably keenly aware that you would be desperate enough to take them up on their offer.

Elesa misses when she was just a model/gym leader and not an underpaid relationship tutor to a bunch of weird extra-dimensional weirdos.

Enjoy the sweets, I will enjoy your excellent dialogue you keep coming up with for poor tired Elesa and poor unaware of much of anything Darling, it's perfect anon <3

---

Elesa: "Man it sure is nice not having my memories erased and instead knowing that the Subway Bosses are freaks from Eeby Deeby" :)

Darling: "Hey Elesa I can't download any dating sim games :( It just always fails or complains I don't have the space-"

Elesa, getting an aspirin ready: "Oh haha that is weird-"

Darling is embarrassed as she asks Elesa "Also... Is it possible for... ahem, "certain websites" to just... break for one person and one person only"

Elesa:

Darling: "Because like- I've even tried to use my friend's computer... to uh, OH- to watch playthroughs of some of these dating sims I like and they always crash or are limited to 144p until my friend tries to watch them later..."

Elesa, knowing full well Darling is talking about porn sites actually because she has absolutely caught the two idiot demons reading human anatomy books and probably found their copy of the Kama Sutra in their office one unfortunate day:

Elesa, downing the entire bottle of aspirin: I'm sorry I need to go fight some literal demons and make some powerpoint presentations

Darling: What-

Elesa, later, staring into the camera like she's in the office: "I never thought I'd find myself sitting in my office writing a powerpoint on the fact it's considered a dick move in human culture to turn someone's pornography into images of yourself-"

Elesa, head in hands and wondering if there's an even higher dose aspirin at the drug store: "-And yet, Almighty Sinnoh continues to work in mysterious ways."

And underpaid?

The twins are not paying her any physical money at all! :)

...but as they learn more about being "friends"- They start to do nice things for Elesa, especially if she brings them gifts of sweets from their favorite bakeries around Nimbasa.

(Emmet and Ingo are starting to think of Elesa as one of those devoted "followers" or "patrons" so many of their kind have, though Ingo is sure that is not what a friend is supposed to be-)

That Raikou joke Elesa cracked back when she found out they summoned Dialga for you? Emmet shows up in her gym one day, in between challengers and presents her with a baby Raikou! Elesa didn't even know that there could be baby Raikou, but that's not important; the Raikou is so cute! It's got big ol eyes and big pointy teeth that are too big for it's mouth right now! And big ol' paws!

"You like cute pokemon and you said you wanted one of these so I found this little guy running around Johto for you!" And it's one of the few times Elesa is genuinely elated at the twins' behavior, and Emmet seems so happy that he did something right for a change!

Also she can just call them now on the X-Transceiver if she needs a change in the weather. :)

[samsstudygram]

Hey! Firstly love the blog! I have a bit of a stupid question.. I get a lot of eye strain and headaches from doing my coursework on the computer, do you have any ideas/ tips on how to minimise these? I've had them since I can remember! I wear glasses, but it still happens. Thank you :)

ok this is kinda weird i literally had the same problem for all of high school 😂 here’s what i found helped:

always use your laptop for school work. don’t use your phone, it’s too small.

make sure the brightness of your laptop isn’t too bright or too dark. it’ll take some playing around with to figure out what is just right for you.

take a break every 50 minutes or so. on these breaks, don’t use technology. just take 5-10 minutes and play with your dog or doodle or get some food. give your eyes (and brain) a rest.

get your eyes checked regularly. even if you don’t think your eyes have changed, get them checked for a new lens prescription once a year.

stretch. stretch your neck, stretch your shoulders, stretch your back, even stretch your feet. it’ll keep your neck from getting too tight.

stay hydrated

don’t listen to loud music when doing work on your computer. listening to music is fine, just not loud music. it can overwhelm your senses, resulting in a headache.

try your best to get enough sleep

stress headaches can sometimes be similar to eye strain headaches. you may want to take on meditation, get a planner, and/or keep a journal to reduce stress

if you feel yourself getting a headache, desensitize. set a timer for 30 minutes, turn off all lights in the room, close the blinds, turn off your phone, and lay down. you don’t have to sleep, just lay there relaxed staring into darkness in your own thoughts. trust me, it works every time.

listen to your body. if you’re tired, take a nap for 20-30 minutes (no longer, so you don’t hit REM and wake up feeling even more tired). studying releases chemicals in your brain that makes you tired, so it’s okay to take a quick nap.

if you’re a caffeine drinker, caffeine can help get rid of headaches (sometimes), so if you feel a headache coming and you don’t have time for a nap/break, get some coffee or tea

stay away from foods like chocolate, nuts, and candy/processed foods when working on the computer, they can also cause headaches.

if the headache is pretty bad and won’t go away, get your hands on Excedrin migraine and take a 30 minute nap or desensitize. it’s pretty strong, so only take one-two at a time, and try to limit it to once or twice a week so you don’t risk damaging your liver. it’s strong, but it works.

ask your teacher if you can turn in some of the work on a hard copy instead of on the computer. they should understand.

not to scare you, but if you get a headache that is debilitating, lasts for days, and/or is the worst you’ve every had in your life, you need to go to an urgent care or the ER. this could mean a different underlying health issue that could be super dangerous, so be safe. (this most likely won’t happen, but just so you know. be safe.)