#i've spent like 10 mins on this one it still looks the same

[fwhimmys]

lollipops are one of the best sweets ever invented

[510amy5]

On April 8 I got to experience something absolutely incredible: a total solar eclipse. Its hard to express just how exciting this was for me but here goes.

I have always loved space, ever since I was a kid. I played the Magic School Bus planets game, I read about how the moon affects our tides, I learned how to make a pin hole projector for watching a partial solar eclipse at 5 years old. I started learning constellations (my fav has always been Cassiopeia) and could find north using the stars by the time I was 8. When I was 10, our family Christmas gift was a very large and fancy telescope. Suddenly I was no longer limited to my naked eyes. We spent a couple nights a week all summer looking at anything interesting we could find in the night sky. I learned to use a star chart, locate the planets on the ecliptic and of course operate our telescope (which was powerful enough that the rotation of earth was noticeable over the course of a couple mins). This is when I came up with my space bucket list.

Some items were ones I saw before the list was created, but they were amazing and helped inform my items yet to be experienced.

Space things I've seen:

Rocks on the moon

Craters on mars

Rings of Saturn

Jupiter's spot

Binary star system

Total lunar eclipse

The international space station (through telescope)

Moons around Mars, Jupiter and Saturn

Venus transit of the sun

Total solar eclipse

Space things I want to see:

Shuttle launch

Aurora borealis

Rings of Neptune

An asteroid

A comet

I was over the moon (pun intended) when I found out that I was near the path of totality for this eclipse. 20 mins drive to move an item from the bottom list to the top one. That's what this started as for me, a box to check and an opportunity to say "that was cool".

So I drove with my parents and my baby and we setup our lawn chairs at the community centre in the town south of us. Its a tiny, middle of nowhere town where everything closes on Sundays and they only have 1 traffic light. Suddenly it was on the map as people traveled in to experience the eclipse. It felt like a big picnic with people chatting and sitting out with their families, pulling out their special glasses every few moments to look up.

I watched as the moon sliced away at the sun. Bit by bit the light got darker and weirder and the temperature dropped. It was exciting but there was also something viscerally unsettling about it. My mind knew this was fun but my body knew something was WRONG. The sun is such an easy thing to take for granted. Its always there, shining away just the same. But when something so fundamental changes, your body notices. This was a duality of experience I never expected.

Then we finally reached the point of totality. This was the moment I had been waiting for, my check box experience. But it was way more than just cool. The world went dark, street lights coming on and birds breaking out in sudden confused song. The people around me cheered and hugged. And I, as I so often have before, I looked up. Understanding the mechanics of an eclipse and having it described couldn't come close to what I was now looking at. I expected a hole in the sky but you could still see the outline of the moon. Not like a "ring of fire" eclipse, but just because the sun puts out that much light and power. The tendrils of the corona reached as far into space as the sun was wide, waved and curled into lines way more organic than the sun beams I always imagined. I had heard the corona was going to make a good show due to this year being the solar maximum but that was an understatement. It was like being on an alien planet orbiting a weird star. I took a quick video for a friend and then just soaked up the moment. Totality only lasts a couple mins and too soon a diamond spark appeared on the edge. No longer safe to look at. We donned our glasses and just stared in awe. It was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen.

Other groups started to pack up around us. We waited though, watching as the sun slowly regained purchase in the sky. The birds stopped singing, the light normalized. I changed my baby's diaper before we hopped in the car to drive home.

In history and media, a total eclipse is often seen as the beginning of the apocalypse or an omen of some kind and I can see why. It is an experience so alien and rare that it must have some deeper meaning right? I agree. In my case however, what I see is the beauty of God's creation. I see all the factors that lined up to give me the gift of this experience and I see His hand. Now I sit and work to find the words to convey an indescribable event, hoping I can share some of this experience. I can only hope I live to see this sight again.

[herrscherofmagic]

does anyone else get that weird feeling when you can look at a bajillion different art styles and go "yeah that's neat! love it! so cool!" and then as soon as you do absolutely any of your own drawing, there's just a constant alarm going off in your head saying "THIS IS INCORRECT AND IF YOU DON'T FIX IT, IT WILL LOOK TERRIBLE AND ANATOMICALLY INACCURATE" despite it being nothing different from all those other art styles you see and love??? like "uncanny valley" but w/ all your own artwork and almost all the time

like I was just thinking about this, because there's lots of awesome artists I follow on Instagram & Tumblr that have interesting styles that don't necessarily follow real-life human proportions. It's often different variants of anime art but that's not always the case, and across pretty much all these different styles you have different things like how the contours of the face are (i.e. chin, cheeks), or the size/spacing of eyes, or the way the mouth is drawn

but it's just occurred to me that whenever I draw, there's pretty much always a constant nagging feeling, that I have to fix every anatomical or rendering mistake and if I don't then it just won't look "right", and that's one of the biggest things that stops me from completing 99% of my art

like earlier today I posted a 10-minute sketch, and it was obviously not "good anatomy"- it was pure vibes, just drawing what felt right in the moment and immediately posting it without trying to correct anything at all. and as soon as I did it, it hit me- that was probably the first time I've ever just created a piece of art for fun with virtually zero concern about "accuracy". Everything else I ever work on is always constantly drawn-out and changed and modified endlessly because it never feels "correct" and I don't feel like I can proceed with it.

today I've spent more than 3 hours just practicing how to draw heads, and it was the same thing. I was doing okay, but it took ages to get through even the simple parts like drawing straight from an anatomy ref. and it drives me insane not just because of perfectionism or whatever... but the fact that there's not a single "correct" human figure.

There's a ton of natural variation in how people appear, that's why we're all unique ffs! Different people have differently-shaped faces, their noses look different, their cheeks are different, their foreheads can be different, the wrinkles or freckles or eyebrows or eye shape or X Y Z are all varied and unique among different people.

Of course there are certain basic proportions and principles, you don't put someone's eyes on the back of their head, but I know all the basic proportions at this point and I've made a ridiculous amount of figure drawings both live and from photo, quite literally hundreds of drawings ranging from 1-3 minute gestures all the way to 1-, 2-, 3-hour-long works.

So why is it that no matter who or what I draw there's always that piercing & uncanny feeling? that i'm never able to capture a likeness of someone whether real or fictional, whether I'm trying to draw realistically or stylized?? it feels like I'm still getting something fundamentally wrong all the time even when I've studied all the basics and so much more, and even when my own professors look at what I do and say it's correct.

it's probably the autism, since there's a ton of other things in life where I appreciate predictability and uniformity and certainty. math problems have correct answers, essays can have certain types of analysis, machines can be described in terms of mechanical principles. But art isn't like that, and I've had similar issues w/ my art classes before, I just never quite thought of it from this specific perspective. I knew I struggled with open-endedness in projects, but this feels like something even deeper and more infuriating than that >.>

going back to that sketch, I can look at it and see obvious simple mistakes that I didn't bother to fix because I kept it strictly to 10 minutes. the chin is an obvious one, for instance, and the eyes could be better too. but I don't want to go back to that artwork, partially because it's just a 10-min sketch and it's not really anything that profound, but also partially because even though I know I can make it better I'm scared that as soon as I start messing with it I'll never be able to look at it comfortably ever again because it'll always feel incorrect. Not incorrect because I didn't care but incorrect despite me caring so much. which feels so much worse than just making a silly mistake when you're drawing normally.

[videogame1up]

Ranking Smash DLC based on my own excitement (The definitive list)

12-Terry

I don't especially like fighting games, and I don't like playing as Ken or Ryu also doesn't help I had never heard of Terry or his game. I couldn't care less about Terry being in smash

11-Byleth

I like Fire Emblem, I hadn't played three houses when Byleth was announced but when I did I enjoyed the game. The problem with Byleth is that 8 Fire Emblem reps is just a bit too much, I think everyone would have been happier with literally anyone else making it in over Byleth

10-Min Min

All I'm saying is that there's a mummy looking dude in Arms that we could have gotten. Min Min looked unique, that's where my excitement capped at for her

9-Piranha plant

"Lol, okay"-Me when Piranha plant was announced

8-Kazuya

"But you said you don't care about fighting games and that's why Terry was at the bottom of the list" That is true, but I've also heard of Tekken, also he looked fun to play as to me, and he is.

7-Pyra/Mythra

I play as Pyra and Mythra for the story. Also her moveset looked unique and fun and i liked the stage she came with.

6-Joker

Also the first DLC that people got excited over (No disrespect to Piranha plant outside it's fairly low ranking) Persona crosses over to Smash? I didn't see that coming, did you? Joker was a great starting place for DLC, not the most hype character we will end up getting but a pretty exciting starting point none the less.

5-Hero

With how long running and significant of a series Dragon Quest is, it's really no surprise to see Hero make his way in. Fun fact, in Japan the newest Dragon Quest games are sold on weekends, because so many kids would skip school on the launch of a new Dragon Quest game. I'm kinda of a sucker for sword fighters, i like seeing new sword fighters added in smash (Don't tell the smash community i said that though) Hero looked like a fun sword user, with plenty of alt costumes to please fans, and a really unique down B, whether or not i like Heroes Command menu he can pop up, is for another list.

4- Steve

I think, like many people i got a lot of fond memories with Minecraft over the years. In High school i remember a friend getting so mad at another one of our friends because he went in and destroyed the wall he had spent the better part of an afternoon building, in college me and two of my roommates set up our own server, open our bedroom doors and yell at one another as we were playing, to this day i still play online with a couple of friends from time to time, Smash Ultimate is a celebration of gaming as a whole, Minecraft is the also the best selling video game of all time, seeing his inclusion felt like a fever dream and a no brainier at the same time

3-Sephiroth

"I really want Sephiroth in"-a friend

"Idk i don't see it happening, that would be really cool but probably not for ultimate"

2-Banjo and Kazooie

I'm going to be completely honest with everyone for a second, i actually don't care for Banjo and Kazooie, i beat the game from start to finish, i just did not love it. So why was i more excited for Banjo than pretty much everyone else? Because while i didn't love the game, i did love that music, i also liked the design for Banjo and Kazooie and viewed them as a great fit for smash. Banjo would have likely been in back in Melee or Brawl had Rare not been bought up by Microsoft, i also knew the overwhelming fan support that Banjo had online, I'll be honest it was hard not getting swept up and excited for Banjo and Kazooie finally making their way back home.

1- Sora

I made this list because I wanted to discuss how excited for Sora i am and how deeply sad i am that there's going to be no Utada Hikaru singing simple and Clean as Sora destroys what he thinks is a heartless but is really just Mr.Game and watch. To say I'm excited for Sora being in smash really just does not do it justice. That first Kingdom hearts game is a real contender for favorite game of all time, I've attempted a speed run (I wanna say i can beat that first game in under 5 hours) Sora was a character I would have loved to see make it, but with Disney I really didn't think we would get Sora, also the DLC had been getting a lot of love from Square and i fee like Sora was really pushing our luck. BUT NOPE HE FUCKING MADE IT IN BITCHES.

WHEN YOU WALK AWAY YOU DON'T HEAR ME SAY PLEASE OH BABY DON'T GO SIMPLE AND CLEAN IS THE WAY THAT YOU'RE MAKING ME FEEL TONIGHT IT'S HARD TO LET IT GO

YOU'RE GIVING ME TOO MANY THINGS LATELY YOU'RE ALL I NEED

With 12 characters making their way in i know my list won't be exact same as yours, i would love to hear who were you excited for? Who did you not care for? Was it Terry?

[walkingdeadbitch]

Should post a tiktak outing these pick me tease me lick me ass anons and creating a bigger community for plus-size, poc and black slasher lovers. We get anything that doesn’t include skinny white folk it’s a problem but when we complain abt a fic being catered to yt and skinny ppl it’s suddenly “well I can’t include everyone uwu sowwy”

RIIGHHHTTT.

i've grown up reading so many fics that make reader white and skinny by default, and i think that's why i personally can't see myself in these fics, cuz i was never given the option to.

spent so long having my hair texture, body type, features and skin colour dismissed, that it reached a point where i got genuinely shocked when i saw a black!reader fic for the first time. devoured that shit and did multiple flips when they didn't describe y/n's nose to be a small button one.

it's a cultural reset reading "he gripped your love handles" and not something bout his fingers almost touching when he grabs your waist. really opens your third eye.

and, maybe it's just me, maybe I'm looking in the wrong places, but i don't really like how a lot of plus sized!reader fics focus on scrutinizing parts of your body. if that's how you cope, much power to you, but to cry in front a mirror cuz of your stomach, arms, legs, whatever, only to have the male love interest swoop in like "you're not fat, you're beautiful 🥺" LIKE DAWG 💀, that don't do shit cuz I'm still fat, just call me cute, pop a nipple in your mouth and say god bless.

like damn, some of these fics insult me better than i ever could, cuz ain't no WAYYYY, you spent like 10 consecutive paragraphs degrading a poor stomach just chillin. "I'm so fat, and ugly... he'll never want me 🥺" girl i came here to FUCK, implement that fanfic logic and get rid of fatphobia for like 5 mins please 💀.

not saying that touching on these issues is wrong, i have like... 3 fics doing just that, but it gets tiring reading the same "fat = ugly" shit when you're passed that for the most part. plus it just gives off skinny girl twisting and contorting her body to make the skin crease so it looks like she's got rolls. very tasteless.

[little-cereal-draws]

Hi feel free to respond to this privately but Hi, i love your animated videos, especially the shadows ones! What program(s) do you use if you don’t mind me asking and do u have any tips? I would love to start doing animatics but idk how/where to start. Thanks in advance! ^^

Hello! I'm so glad that you enjoyed my videos! My software is not fancy at all and might be a bit of a letdown tbh lol

For drawing I used to use Paint tool sai (which i think is what a lot of ppl use) but it wasn't working right on my computer, it wouldn't let me save my images. I got it off of some Japanese website and it was $19 (USD). Now I use the app that came with my computer. I have a Windows computer. It's called Sketchbook (oOoOh, so fancy lol) and it is limited in terms of brushes and pen pressure but I like it. Very easy to figure out. I also have Krita which I think I had to pay for. I don't remember how much tho, I want to say $15 (USD)?? Maybe? It is much more complex and lets you do things like animate but I don't use it bc I'm too lazy to figure it out lol I know there's a lot of great tutorials online tho. I also know a lot of ppl use Procreate which is much better especially in terms of brushes but it's not compatible w my computer :( Procreate costs $10 (USD) I think.

As for editing, I use Shotcut. It's a free software that I downloaded from somewhere, I don't remember. It is definitely limited in terms of filters, camera angles, and what you can put in it but hey, it's free! The one thing I hate the most abt it is you can't pan. It drives me insane. But it has zoom, text, filters, etc. I used to use Filmora which is also free but is even more limited and I think it puts a watermark on your videos.

Now for tips!

Uhh, I guess the most obvious is practice. I started doing animatics four years ago and I can't watch any of my old ones now, they're so bad lol

Another thing is vary your shot type. If you have a couple ppl doing smth together, do close ups, medium shots, and wide shots. Try different camera angles. It's ok to do the same type of shot a couple times in a row but after a while it can get boring.

An extension of the last point, if a character does smth like knock a thing over or move it or whatever, show the object moving and then their reaction. Reaction shots are very important for character's emotions. Wide shots to establish a setting.

As an extension of that point, watch your favorite show/movie and watch how they film it, when they zoom in, how they frame the characters etc. I've spent so much time doing that lol (WWDITS might not be the best example bc it's a documentary but it should still work pretty well)

In terms of moving characters/making it smooth, layers are going to be ur best friend lol I end up with so many layers when I make a video. It's partially because I'm scared to delete layers in case I need them later but it's also helpful to see a character's last position. If they're on the left and need to move to the right, draw them on the left, copy the layer, and move the new layer a little bit using the original one as a reference point. Continue until they've made it. Same thing if they're moving their hand up or whatever. Use old layers as reference points to avoid jumpiness.

Because animating/drawing in general is hard and time consuming and I'm lazy I try to reuse shots/poses as much as I can. Again if you have a character going from left to right and then later in the video going right to left, save the left to right layers. You can just flip them to make it look like they're going right to left and now you don't have to draw it again! This can be tricky tho bc you don't want your video to get repetitive like I said before. So do it but do it sparingly lol

THUMBNAIL FIRST! This is very helpful. Just make a bunch of little boxes with stick figures mapping out what's going to happen in ur video. It doesn't have to look good at all, it's just so you don't forget what's going to happen/get lost. This is mine for the video of Laszlo and Nadja dancing:

I put notes on this one so I remember what the actions and camera angles are. Since I was copying an already choregraphed dance here, I did that in black and then put in more interesting camera angles in blue on a different layer so it wasn't two minutes of the same full body shot

And uh yeah I think that's it! Hopefully this is helpful!

[getitinbusan]

Ball Drop - Yoongi

Even though your eyes were closed you could feel his shadow hanging over you. His hand moving slowly to stroke your hair as his cologne drifted softly into your nostrils. Sitting delicately on the side of the bed, this was his gentle way of waking you up. "I've got to go" he said nuzzling into your neck. "I'm so tired, how are you even awake after a 14 hour time difference?" He smiled, "I'd give anything to stay here in bed with you all day." Grabbing his pillow from the other side of the bed you flung it at him, "You're a liar Min Yoongi but I love you for trying to humor me." Being in New York was always surreal for him but performing in Times Square for the ball drop was a dream come true. He'd spent the entire flight apologizing for having to leave you alone but you didn't want to hear it, he deserved this moment. Stretching out your tired limbs and rubbing your eyes you looked him up and down "You're wearing the chanel? You're such a tease you know its my favorite." Blushing and wrinkling his nose cutely he pulled you into his arms, "I promise I'm going to make this up to you. You'd better be awake when I get back tonight." 

New York buzzed with excitement, thousands of people descended into Times Square and about half of them were there just to see BTS. Social Media was going crazy and it made you so happy to get a glimpse of what the boys were doing through the fans eyes. Rehearsals looked to go well, and the weather was still cooperating so all that was left to do was wait. Walking down to the Hotel restaurant to grab a quick bite you were delighted as the table behind you was full of ARMY. "Did you see how good Guk looked? He was staring at me a swear!" The squeals of excitement made you smile. "I can't believe we're staying in the same hotel, if we wait in the bar tonight maybe they'll come down and we can meet them." All of them were in agreeance with the plan, "God I just want to jump on Yoongi's dick" choking on your coffee they turned to ask if you were okay, you answered truthfully "yeah, I heard he's got a really nice one." That was enough of that, you walked back to  the room before you said something you'd regret.  

You leaned on the balcony watching the crowd from above, rain was falling and there was a chill in the air. Your mind wandered to how he was doing, he hated the cold. You couldn't see the stage from your hotel perch but you could hear everything clearly.  It was just after 10:40 and you waited patiently for the performance to begin. You'd just found the live stream when the crowd began roaring and you could hear the opening of Make It Right amplified through the streets. They'd worked so hard on this performance and it showed, Yoongi's dancing had improved so much, you couldn't help but smile with each body roll. 

11:01: Y/N: So proud of you baby! I could hear the fan chants from the hotel, you did so good ❤❤

Returning outside just before midnight the crowds pitch was getting more electrified with excitement. You watched your boyfriend take the stage again to begin the ball drop, he was beaming and your heart felt so full for him. The cameras caught him holding up his phone, as he started 10…9… your snapchat sent a notification

The door unlocked and you sprinted over to him peppering his face with kisses. You could feel the adrenaline pumping through his body as he pulled you into his arms and kissed you longingly. His heart was pounding, the culmination of his exhilaration was at a head and he looked at you like he was about to devour you. Clothes on the floor, mouths on bodies and hard passionate sex, was there a better way to start the year?  

[overthinkingkdrama]

Exit Review: Hotel De Luna

I'm trying to find a new, quick, neat review format that I can use when I don't really have enough to say to give you the whole review. But let's face it. This blog hasn't really been about reviews for a while now. A lot of that comes down to a shifting of my priorities these days. But I definitely am not ready to shut this blog down or stop doing what I've been doing for the past years, which is giving you my completely selfish commentary on Kdramas and how they make me feel.

That said, he's a review for a drama that ended back in September:

Synopsis

Hotel Del Luna  is the 12th full length drama written by the Hong Sisters, and like many of their other works is built around ghosts, folklore, and the sisters' particular brand of adapting previously existing stories into the classic Kdrama romcom format.

The drama tells the story of Jang Man Wol (Lee Ji Eun, aka IU), a materialistic, bad-tempered immortal woman who is the caretaker to The Inn of the Moon (rebranded Hotel Del Luna to keep up with the times) the last pit stop for the sprits of the dead before they pass on to the afterlife. She competently undertakes this task as a way to pay off some heavy duty bad karma from her tragic and bloody past. After centuries spent like this, world-weary Man Wol strikes a bargain to bring hardworking, scaredy-cat and Harvard grad, Goo Chan Seong (Yeo Jin Goo) to work as her hotel manager...very much against his will.

Whether he likes it or not, Chan Seong ends up acting as the human liaison for this luxurious ghost hotel, unlocking the secrets of its CEO and her mysterious past, as well as finding out what his connection is to this magical world.

Review

Story: Hotel Del Luna is essentially a gender swapped Beauty and the Beast set up, but with gods and ghosts. Which, is absolutely my cup of tea. And there's some pretty on the nose symbolism alluding to familiar Beauty and the Beast motifs (like enchanted undying flowers, lonely compelling monsters in high towers, well meaning peasant [boys] indentured to said monsters against their will, fancy staircases...)

But after the first couple of episodes the familiar set up recedes more into the background, and the format becomes a straightforward monster of the week, unlikely partners kind of drama. We've seen this before from the Hong Sisters. Hwayugi does it and Master's Sun does too, to a greater or lesser degree of success. This is clearly the Hongs' comfort zone, and they're good at it. I even noticed a couple story lines that had been taken and tweaked from previous dramas (specifically the spirit marriage plot line which is reused from Master's Sun) and it felt like they wanted to redo some old ideas with a bigger budget and a more experience. For the most part it works.

However, the drama suffers from some serious issues with pacing and tone. While the tone issues even out over time, there is a fair bit of one off slapstick humor which feels disconnected and rather corny in the context of the grander narrative. (Think My Girlfriend is a Gumiho's running fart gag, but classed up slightly.) But by far the pacing is the biggest problem Hotel Del Luna struggles with for the entirety of the run. It feels like the episodes are about a quarter filler. An issue that I feel could have been completely sidestepped had the Hong Sisters had only 1 hour to fill per episodes, rather than tvN's monstrous feeling hour and fifteen minute episodes which only grow longer as the run goes on.

Acting: IU owns this drama. This is Man Wol's world and we're all just living it in, ladies and gentleman. It's not just the fact that IU is consistently the most visually enticing thing in any given scene, she gives the drama vibrancy and life and you feel the lack whenever she's not on screen.

It's not that Yeo Jin Goo isn't a solid young actor, or even that he does a bad job in the drama. He doesn't do a bad job at all. It's just that Chan Seong isn't nearly as complex or dynamic as Man Wol. He's very much playing the uptight straight man to Man Wol's capricious and charismatic anti-heroine, and as such he seems to rather shrink beside her. If you want to see Yeo Jin Goo in a role that stretches him and lets him show of his dynamism, The Crowned Clown was his break out moment of the year. In HDL he is more or less another pretty accessory to hang from IU's arm.

Because the Hongs have been around forever they've also worked with everyone, this drama is a wealth of cheeky cameos and familiar faces and the extended cast makes the world feel full and lived in. There were a number of minor characters I felt invested in and enjoyed watching their plot lines play out.

But let's be real, IU is the single best reason to watch this drama.

Production: HDL is gorgeous to look at. The sets and costumes (especially Man Wol's outfits, which she changes at least 5 times an episodes) are downright luscious. We've come a long way from the distractingly chintzy makeup and costume design of Master's Sun. Hell, it even feels like we're lightyears ahead of Hwayugi, which was just two years ago. The style and motifs of HDL feel like they have a real identity, that they all come from the same place. Real love and thought went into the way the hotel looks and feels, as well as the way the characters dress and the supernatural world they live in.

Feels: The biggest thing about HDL that I felt let down by was the romance. It's not that it was bad, or in some way offensive. Quite the opposite really. The romance in HDL was just okay, just middle of the road. They had an excellent template (Beauty and the mofuckin' Beast y'all) to draw from, and two attractive, talented young people to helm the show and it just...didn't ignite for me. I've seen people praising the chemistry between the leads, and I'm sorry to say I just don't see it. It's okay, it's not leaping out of the screen for me. It's...functional. That's it, that's the big hairy gripe I've got with this show (besides the filler and typical tvN bloat).

What I loved about this drama was the heroine. I loved Man Wol and all of the joy and fun and sentiment and sorrow IU poured into her performance. I felt like IU was establishing herself in this role as a Park Min Young-type force in the drama world, who can carry entire productions on her shoulders. Man Wol in HDL isn't Ji An from My Mister--she can't be; she shouldn't be--but like Ji An she is allowed to be flawed, she allowed to be cruel and miserable and petty and sometimes even wicked. And I love that, because we don't get enough female characters like that, who are allowed to be wrong and yet redeemed, who are allowed to be shallow and bitter and do the selfish thing, and yet still learn from their mistakes and do better.

I like that Man Wol's gray morality isn't abandoned half way through the drama, and her arc isn't dropped or subordinated to Chan Seong's. She is the main character, the driver of the story, and that never changes throughout the run. The "happy ending" of the story is about her, not about the male lead. There's really nothing that annoys me more than a drama that builds up its lead as having a dark side, a checkered past, a hair trigger or a penchant for violence, and then refuses to show that side of the character to the audience for fear of making them unlikable. Female characters especially get this sort of treatment all the time. Man Wol is allowed to be an ambiguous character, she is allowed to fuck up and be forgiven, and ultimately be rewarded. And I think that's fabulous.

Would I recommend Hotel Del Luna? For fantasy fans, IU fans, and misguided Hong sisters completionists (that's mainly just me, I think) I would absolutely recommend HDL. It's definitely one of the better Hong Sisters offerings, stronger on its own merits than Hwayugi, and the closest yet in my opinion to reclaiming the glory of Master's Sun in terms of fantasy romance fun.  8.5/10

[just-anka]

Ladybower trail marathon - 08/06/2019

Race day morning

My best friend from home, her 5yo daughter and J got here Thursday evening so the morning was a bit more chaotic than it usually would've been. The weather forecast for Saturday had been getting progressively worse in the days leading up to it and we woke up to pouring rain, but at that point I had kind of accepted getting soaked as inevitable :'D had the same breakfast I always eat before long runs, then drove the 20 mins out to ladybower.

The start

This was by far the tiniest race I've ever run - just under 100 starters and it didn't have the feel of a race, it looked more like a bunch of trail runners getting together for a group run in the mud and rain. I liked the atmosphere a lot, the only thing I was (stupidly) worried about was coming last - I knew I wouldn't be running a fast time but the idea of actually coming dead last somehow made me feel like I had to start out faster. I still did my best to take it slow, especially because we started out on roads which makes it even more tempting to start out too fast.

Km 1-8

It took me a while to get settled, constantly trying to slow down but not too much, and not be tempted to chase other runners, but I eventually found my pace. This first part was all gentle uphill on country roads, with great views of the reservoir. It wasn't really raining, just drizzling slightly, my legs felt fresh and I was just really enjoying myself. It's a fantastic feeling to finally start a race you've been training for for so long I think. After 8 km, we reached the first aid station where I filled my waterbottles, it was a cupless race with only 4 aid stations so I had my pack with me.

Km 9-21

After the first aid station there weren't really any runners around me anymore so I decided to put in my headphones. The following miles until the halfway point were by far the best of the whole race. Roads turned into bridleway, then single track trail with some more technical sections and some easier ones. The views were amazing and even though it was raining the whole time, it wasn't too windy or cold so I barely noticed it. I cruised up and down the rolling hills, flowing effortlessly and I just couldn't believe how good I felt. Around 10 miles I saw my friends who had walked towards me from the start "backwards" along the course. Got a high five from the kid and they all ran with me for a bit, I was so happy to see them :') my best friends dog went crazy when they stopped, he loves running with me and clearly wasn't happy to be left behind haha. A group of women running a little ahead commented on how cute he is and I ended up running with one of them for a while and we had a really nice chat - she was doing the marathon (which was her 18th o.o) as training for her first 50 miler and was so so nice. At the next aid station she stopped to wait for her friends while I went on. I reached the halfway point around 2h 13min, which was wayyy faster than planned, but I felt too good to really worry about it.

Km 22-28

The next aid station was around 22 km followed by the only actual uphill of the race. I didn't look at the race map all that much beforehand so i didn't know how long or steep it would be, just that it was the only one :'D it turned out to be only about 150m of elevation gain but it was really freaking steep. I walked the whole thing but still passed several people on it, so apparently all the hill running is sort of paying off. Once I got to the top the rain started to pick up and I was greeted by gusts of wind blowing along the edge. The view was fantastic but I didn't get much of an opportunity to take it all in because I was just sooo cold. Luckily the descent started after about a mile and the wind lessened a bit. The second half of the descent was really steep and technical and I again passed like 5 people - I'm really proud of that because when I was running with the group in the fall, my friends routinely ditched me on the downhills because I was so slow on them, and I worked on them a lot. It was also super fun.

Km 29-34

This is when it started to get hard. The last ~13 km were the same as the first, so the downhill was followed by another 8 km of roads. Not fun after so many miles already :'D I had to walk a few times but was mostly keeping it together, telling myself to just focus on the next km (I had "run the mile you're in" written on my hand which is always a good reminder).

Km 34 to the finish

After the last aid station I started to really crash. I was so so tired, freezing cold from the rain and wind and started to feel really sick as well. After a small uphill that I had to walk I finally gave in and stopped to put on my rain jacket - I hate running in them because I always feel like I sweat more than I'd get wet from the rain, but at that point I was just too cold. It helped a bit and I spent the next few miles alternating between running and walking. This part is a blur in my mind, I really just remember being in pain and thinking if there was any way I could quit I'd do it. There wasn't though, so I just kept going. 2 km from the finish I suddenly saw J walking towards me. I was so happy to see him I started tearing up. By then I was feeling so sick I could barely run but having him next to me helped a bit. The last km was all downhill and I somehow managed to run all of it and 'sprint' across the finish line in the pouring rain. And then I started to cry, just like after every half marathon race I've done so far 🤦‍♀️

After the race

After recovering enough to walk and receiving my medal, I hobbled back to the parking lot with J where I changed into dry clothes in the bathroom. It took me forever because my hands were so cold I couldn't feel my fingers and I was just soaked to the bone 😂 but being dry was the best feeling in the world. So was the hot shower once we got home, and the pizza we had for lunch, and hugging my friends. I was so grateful to have them around for this ❤

It's a few days later now and I still can't believe I did this. I haven't run yet but I feel.. recovered? I guess so I'll try a short and slow one tomorrow or so. I'm glad I picked the race I did even though it deffs wasn't an easy one, and most people I saw or talked to were wearing ultra shirts, training for ultras, doing this as their 20th marathon etc etc :'D but despite the horrible weather it was a great experience and even while finishing and feeling like I never want to take another step I thought "I'd do this again in a heartbeat". I love running.

[nbstevonnie]

these games were all finished before 2022 so it counts okay!

with some reshuffling (cheating) i've managed to get a few games on the card that otherwise were not going to make it on.

for subtitle: portal stories: mel

if you like portal 2 and you want more of it, this is easily a first stop for you. the game has its problems (my main one being that the intro is way WAY too long - it's basically a 20 minute walking simulator which i have to tilt my head and squint to even find any redeeming quality for it), but once it gets going, it is very good at playing in the sandbox of portal 2. it basically says: hey, you know all that stuff you learnt? let's see how far we can push it. it also comes with a story and voice acting, which i was very impressed at for a free fan-made game.

7/10

for realistic: portal reloaded

what portal reloaded lacks compared to portal stories: mel, it more than makes up for in the way it recreates the mind-bending feeling of working with portals for the first time. the gimmick here is that, as well as the normal two portals, you have a time (!) portal. this means you can hold up to FIVE portals at a time. (it takes some time to get your head around but two portals in the present + two portals in the future + time portal = five portals.) it seems clear to me that the creator thought A LOT about what rules this would need and how this would affect things and for the most part does an excellent job of teaching the player how these rules work in the same way portal/portal 2 did: slowly introducing one piece at a time and letting the player test things out for themselves.

9/10

for sacrifice: subsurface circular

i get the impression this is just one of those games that was not for me. it was fine - i enjoyed the experience, but the ending fell a little flat for me and made me realise that there wasn't much individual experience to the game, if that makes sense? it was sort of like the walking dead in that my choices didn't seem to impact the game much, but at least with the walking dead, even knowing that was the case, i still thought a lot about what my choices meant for the characters and who that made me. without that, being able to pick any old dialogue without much thought, i felt ultimately underwhelmed.

2/10

for one word: deltarune

do i even need to say much here? loved it, even replayed several hours of it right after i finished because i missed the secret boss :)

if i had one complaint, it would be not nearly enough lancer :(

on a strictly neutral note, loads of people seemed to like the spamtom boss more than/find it harder than jevil but i completed spamton i think on the second or third try? the worst thing about it was honestly the cups back up, the fight itself always felt very doable. jevil on the other hand? woof.

9/10

for transformation: yakuza 0

my reason for putting this one here is that this is the prequel to the yakuza series, and so i think it's all about how the characters of that series became the people they are today. (though I wouldn't know as this was my entry into the series.)

wow, this game blew me away. i spent literally 200+ hours on it and i am usually the sort of person to look at those kinds of numbers and think why would i ever spend that amount of time on something? but this game seriously hit my completionist side and love of emotional stories and also just the whole dorky attitude of it.

(also i fell in love with a video game character but let's not talk about that.)

my only complaint about this game is that the first chapter particularly was WAY too much cutscene. i think the first time i was able to save it told me i'd been playing for two hours and i was like.... bro i think i've had actual control of the character for 20 mins tops. anyway once i was let free on the city it was a lot better bc i was roughly in control of when the cutscenes would happen so while they could still be quite long (i mean, so long that the game literally paused because there had been no input to my controller for too long), it felt like i was getting a lot more bang for my buck.

i'll cut myself off here before i start going on about everything i loved about this game (which might take several paragraphs), but i'm definitely curious now about going into the main series. a lot of stuff in this game was references to things that were going to happen (e.g. "you get a strange feeling you'll see this guy again some day", the fortune teller who tells you you'll have, i think it was 7 children??), a lot of the specifics of which went over my head but I could see it was obviously a reference to the series as a whole. anyway, i'm looking forward to getting to uncover those gems in reverse (as in, for people familiar with the series playing yakuza 0, they get the 'hey, i see what you did there :)' kick playing yakuza 0, but i'll get the 'oh so that's what that was referencing :)' when playing the rest of the series).

9/10