#i've realized people should stop letting me make moodboards

[jayenator565]

Our Hearts Collide (like some kind of thief in the night)

The Clexa Ocean’s 8 au that no one asked for. Thanks to the brilliant guys over at @syngularitysyn​ ‘s clexa writing discord for helping to motivate me into writing more and @femininenachos for looking at it <3 

Major props to @clexaweekofficial​ for doing this every clexa week you’re the best and it always gives us something to look forward to!

It’s not quite ready to go live on archive but how about a...

Sneak Peek? 

--

“That’s what you do best isn’t it.” Clarke snarked back, her usual filter had left long ago, broken by memories of happiness tainted with lies. They were both exhausted, emotionally drained, an aching sadness and the pain of missing so much time together was the only thing that kept them from walking away. 

Logically, Lexa knew all of this but they had been at it for hours and they were only human. The dam that had been building since Clarke came to talk was bound to break, “and you’re one to talk?” Lexa knew that they were both being needlessly stubborn, and couldn’t help getting defensive. She had good intentions. They all had. But this wasn’t about the others.

“I may be a hypocrite Lexa, but you’re a liar. You do see that right? There is no moral ground, no high horse to stand on here!” It hurt to admit, but Clarke was right. 

“Even after everything, even after you hurt me I- I’m just so angry at you Lexa...” Clarke trailed off in a whisper as the tears stinging in her eyes threatened to fall and her throat closed up in grief. Mourning for the way things used to be.

Lexa could only hang her head, the shame and guilt eating at her. 

“I know.”

--

[punkscowardschampions]

Savannah & Jac

Savannah: How is it going? Savannah: I'm so proud of you for working at this with her, I just wanted you to know that Jac: 😖 ugh, THANK YOU 🙏 Jac: I'm really trying Jac: and she's being a LOT better today Jac: more like herself Jac: she still hasn't said what's really going on, but maybe she isn't even sure herself, you know? 😕 Jac: we'll get to the bottom of it Jac: how are you, honey? ❤ Savannah: 🙌🏾 I'm BEYOND happy for you both 🙌🏾 Savannah: Ty is being more like himself too, today must be fated Savannah: it's such a relief, isn't it? Jac: I am BEYOND glad Jac: I do not know what was in the water but we can both finally breathe out so that's the main thing Savannah: I know right?! I feel more centred than I have in forever Jac: It's nice not to be so stressed Jac: I had no idea the tension I was holding, honestly Savannah: Baby 😔 Savannah: I had an idea but there's been no time to give you a massage, we're always working Jac: and I love it Jac: but other people still demanding time we don't have now is like Jac: 😬 Savannah: ^^ so true Savannah: I feel like I constantly have to choose between Sienna & Ty Jac: Right? There's always someone to be let down Savannah: excuse me whilst I essentially tear myself in half & still manage to somehow hurt either of you more in the process Jac: 😔 Jac: Ty should really learn a little more self-sufficiency in this situation Jac: like Amelia Jac: Sienna, that's different Jac: but you two are in a partnership, that's meant to make things easier, not harder Savannah: it's my own fault, I love him so much that I can't help but make everything easier for him even if it means things are harder for me as a direct result Jac: he's still meant to return the favour Savannah: & he does, he just doesn't always realise exactly what I do need, which is my fault too Jac: I can't see that Jac: you're beyond communicative Jac: and when you're not, that means there's a problem Savannah: Honesty is important but so is maintaining the image he has of me, I cultivated it, I can't just let it go when it's not as effortless as it looks Jac: but you, actually you, are perfect Jac: if he didn't love you for all of you, he'd be just Jac: wrong Savannah: No I'm not Jac: Not like you have no flaws or can do no wrong Jac: but you're so caring and loving and you'll do anything for anyone, especially the people you care about Jac: and even at your lowest, you still try to keep positive, and see the way out and forward Jac: and when you do make mistakes, it's because of all of these things about you that are so amazing Savannah: You're perfect, I don't even know what to say or what response would come close Jac: I'm far from it Jac: I do things sometimes, just to be cruel because I feel bad Jac: I try not to but I still do Jac: and I don't look after anyone the way you do Savannah: you look after me Savannah: & Isabelle & Amelia Savannah: we all take so much from you & you never complain because you're too busy giving us more of you Savannah: that makes me feel bad Jac: You shouldn't feel bad, you give me so much back too Jac: when you're already stretched Jac: and it doesn't feel anything like work with you Jac: it's natural, easy Jac: but still worthwhile Savannah: It's the same for me, with you, everything else may feel like a demand on my time or a stressful obligation, but that's not how I feel about you Jac: that makes me happy to hear that Jac: I swear, other people didn't used to feel like this much work Savannah: I don't know why it's so different Savannah: why you're the only person who sees through who I have to be to who I actually am Jac: It's like Jac: I feel a million miles or years or lives ahead of everyone else but you Jac: it's not even arrogance I just Jac: they don't get it Savannah: ^^^^ Savannah: it's exhausting Jac: trying to be on their level, care about what they care about Jac: when there's so much more important things to be thinking or doing Jac: I'm really struggling Savannah: what can I do? Jac: See? 🥺 Jac: this is why I love you Jac: I just wanna be with you again, then we'll both feel better and like this world actually makes sense Savannah: where has she even taken you? I'll come & get you right now Jac: we hung out most of the day and just chilled but we've gone out for dinner, [a place] Savannah: okay, I'll be there once the bill hits the table Savannah: come out when you're ready Jac: Okay, that's not an issue, we're near mine, ish, so I didn't need a lift from her dad or anything Savannah: I'll wait for you at home then Jac: That's so cute Jac: imagine how perfect our Uni flat will be Savannah: 😊 Savannah: I'll make a start on my moodboard Jac: we can do a dream shop when I get back Savannah: oh my god, we have to Savannah: but I promise I'll FINALLY give you that massage too, because I have no doubt your goodbye with Amelia will be stressful Jac: At least she can't ask for a sleepover reasonably when it's Monday tomorrow Jac: because yeah Jac: I cannot when a massage is on offer 😍👼🏾 Savannah: I can though, can't I? Savannah: I don't ever want to leave you, but especially not to go back to my house Jac: Of course you can Jac: we'll be sensible so we can still get up in the morning Savannah: 👼🏾 I swear Jac: I trust you Jac: I got a new night-time tea, it's really relaxing, you'll ❤ it Savannah: that sounds amazing, I've been having the most intense dreams when I do sleep Jac: at least your brain is processing everything and storing it away Jac: even if that's exhausting Jac: you'll be having sweet dreams so soon Jac: but in the meantime, I'll do everything I can to help Savannah: this is literally the evidence that you're as caring & loving & positive as you believe I am Savannah: I don't even dream when I'm with Ty, which I used to think was a nice thing, because I felt so safe but now it just feels like I switch off when he doesn't need me Jac: oh 😔 I don't love that Savannah: It sounds horrible, I know Savannah: & it would kill him to hear me say so Jac: No, it's not horrible, it's how you feel Savannah: he hasn't given me any reason to feel like that though, it's my crazy Jac: not on purpose, I'm sure Savannah: What have you noticed? You can tell me Jac: Well, even if doesn't ask you to prioritize him and his happiness at all times Jac: he still lets you Jac: I'm sure he doesn't realize but it still happens Savannah: oh Jac: like, I'm not having a go at him, or you, because you know you do it and you know why Jac: but he really SHOULD be thinking more about it, you Savannah: of course Jac: I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything Savannah: I asked for your perspective because I need it, you have nothing to apologise for Savannah: & you're right Savannah: I just don't know what to do about it Jac: I don't want to sound like THAT friend Jac: he's great, in lots of ways Jac: but I couldn't say I hadn't noticed, when I had, it would be a disservice to you both Jac: it needs to be brought to his attention somehow, but outright saying it would probably feel...cruel? Savannah: I understand & I totally trust in the kind of friend I know you are Jac: ❤❤ Jac: We will work this out Jac: but we need time to 💭 on it Savannah: We need a time out from it first, the last thing I want to do is bring your stress levels back up after you've finally had a break through with Amelia Savannah: I refuse to be THAT friend Jac: we don't need to think about it any more tonight Jac: we can just think about our future and how amazing it will be Savannah: thank god I still have the ability to look forward without my future solely depending upon him Jac: ^^ no matter what, we're never those kind of girls Savannah: 👏🏾🙌🏾 Jac: I've text my parents so they won't be shook to see you Jac: not that they are these days 🥰 Savannah: I'll pick them something up to thank them as well when I get your presents for you Jac: Presents? for me? Savannah: 🥰 surprises, yes Jac: you're the best surprise Jac: I didn't think we'd get to see each other today Savannah: I wasn't sure if we'd even get chance to talk properly Jac: I know Jac: and I hate that Jac: I worry about you when we can't keep in touch Savannah: I hate the idea of you worrying about me, but I feel the exact same way Savannah: I dread to think how awful I'll have done on my homework because I couldn't stop thinking about you Jac: you're too smart to ever mess up too bad Jac: but we can doublecheck 😋 Savannah: what your compliments do for my self worth they don't do for my concentration span, so whilst the offer to check my work is appreciated, I'm not sure how well it'd be received Savannah: unless I'm sitting there with my eyes closed & you're in silence Jac: I think I can manage stunned silence in your presence quite easily Jac: we can make it work Savannah: you really do have an answer for everything, I love that about you Jac: it's easy to be sure with you Savannah: I wish we could be together all the time, there wouldn't be any room for doubt for me then either Jac: so rude of my parents to overdo it with the kids 🙄 Savannah: so rude of my parents to exist if they were going to use that existence to destroy everything they built, including my faith, trust & sense of security Savannah: if they were better people you could just stay here Jac: I don't know how it doesn't break their hearts Jac: and make them change and be better Jac: because I can't 😢 Savannah: they'd have to heal from the heartbreak they inflicted upon each other first & they have a lot of work to do before that'll happen Savannah: my mother doesn't have anything left for me & my dad doesn't have anything to offer that I want Jac: So true Jac: inherited trauma is the hardest Jac: and I don't have an answer for that, I really, really wish I did Savannah: you are an answer to that Savannah: you make me feel like I did before any of this happened Jac: I'm going to take care of you Jac: and the you that's still that little girl Savannah: we used to be so close, me & my dad Savannah: I don't understand how he could do this Jac: Even if he didn't love your mum anymore, in the way he did before Jac: the way he's handled it all Savannah: I would literally move heaven & earth to make things work with Ty, do anything to avoid hurting him, under no illusion that we're unlikely to be together forever Savannah: he can't have ever loved her, me or Sienna Jac: He must have thought it would have hurt MORE to stay Jac: I'm not saying he's right, or it excuses it Savannah: maybe it would Jac: I just really think he does love you guys Jac: and that doesn't have to change how you think or feel about him, at all, and that's not why I would say it Jac: the situation is still the same Jac: but it's rare the intentions are that bad, people do what they think is right, or they do the wrong thing out of hurt, like your mum right now Savannah: I know you want that for me, for me to be loved, I love you for it Jac: You are loved, by lots of people Jac: me being the chief one, of course Savannah: I'm trying so hard to remind myself that he isn't his mistakes but I can't forgive them when his actions make me feel like I am one of said mistakes Savannah: & my mum reinforces that every time she can't bear to look at me Jac: I can't begin to imagine how hurtful that is Jac: and how much that must occupy your head, and how hard you must have to fight every day to not be consumed by those thoughts and feelings Jac: all I can and will continue to do is be here for you, whenever and in whatever capacity you need Savannah: all my life she's told me how beautiful I am, but now all that matters is how much I resemble him Savannah: what am I supposed to do? Jac: You're still beautiful Jac: and you're always going to look like him Jac: do you want to change your appearance? Savannah: No, but I want to be able to look at myself in the mirror again without feeling as awful as I do when my mum tells me to get out of her room Jac: just because she's the victim in her narrative with your dad Jac: doesn't mean she's not also capable of perpetuating unhealthy behaviour Jac: that isn't okay, to make you feel like that Savannah: I know, but she's incapable of having a conversation about it right now, medicated or not Jac: Does your aunt have any more luck with her? Jac: or can you vent to your aunt about her? Savannah: I can but that doesn't mean I feel comfortable doing it Jac: That makes sense Jac: there's always the uncertainty of where the information will end up, or if any judgment is silently being passed Savannah: ^^ Savannah: you're the only person I want to talk to Jac: we can stay up and talk Jac: School can be completed with one eye shut Jac: this is more important right now Savannah: we have to talk about you too, it's always me Jac: Okay, I can always call upon all my problems at any time Savannah: for instance, where is Jude going to be when we're having this deep & meaningful conversation? Jac: Cammie is at her mum's, Jude can take her bed Jac: I'll take the heat if Cam is mad about it Savannah: okay Jac: I'll make them share full-time and then you can move in Jac: sorted Savannah: & when I move in, I'll take the puppies to bed with us & take the blame if your parents are upset Jac: they can't talk Jac: they give it all that about training and rules and boundaries Jac: but there was always a dog in the bed when we used to sneak in in the morning as kids Savannah: 😄 Savannah: I can't wait to have a family like yours Jac: How many kids do you want? Jac: or more importantly, puppies? 😋 Savannah: More than 👶🏾👶🏾 obviously Savannah: & they'll each have their own 🐶 or 🐱 or both however many of them there are Jac: Aww, that's sweet Jac: I think two can be kind of perfect Jac: but they have to be the right two Savannah: so is that how many you want? Jac: I don't think much about that part of my future Jac: I don't know if I'd be a good parent Savannah: Well you have to, because who else are my 👶🏾👶🏾👶🏾👶🏾 going to be best friends with? Isabelle's children? I don't think so Jac: 😂😂 okay, fair point Jac: we cannot have that Savannah: & of course you're going to be 🧚🏻 godmother to them all because I can't trust anyone else if anything ever happened to me Jac: 🥺🥺 Jac: I will spoil them so hard, I promise Savannah: nobody else would be able to tell them what I'm really like, nobody knows me like you do Jac: You'll make me cry Jac: I don't wanna think about you ever not being here Jac: but I'd make sure they knew how much you loved them, and how incredible you were so they love you as much, always Savannah: I'll be with you forever, even if I do die first, because I love you that much too Jac: [don't actually cry in front of Amelia omg] Jac: I love you so much as well Jac: and we're paying up Jac: so I won't be long now 🙌 Savannah: that is perfect timing because I just arrived at your house Savannah: there was such a long queue in the shop Jac: So rude Jac: people are EXTRA with the Christmas shopping from like mid-october now Jac: thank god we aren't working retail Savannah: ^^^^^^^ Savannah: & this boy in front of me keep trying to flirt, it was so embarrassing Savannah: I have a boyfriend & I'm having a breakdown, excuse me Jac: The lack of awareness so many boys have is ALARMING Savannah: I almost wish I had started crying as he started speaking, he wouldn't have known where to look Jac: That would be kind of iconic Jac: but not worth the mascara Savannah: next time maybe, if I've gone makeup free Jac: or you could bring out some of the sign language I teach you Jac: it's very useful for that Savannah: 😄 true Savannah: are you going to teach me some more when you come home? Jac: We totally can Savannah: I'd like to Jac: why is it that whatever we do together, it's just the best time Jac: I'm really excited to see you Savannah: I know what you mean, I feel like a different person from who I was earlier Savannah: my mood has lifted purely because you'll be here soon Jac: It's the same for me, completely Jac: I'm so glad we found each other Savannah: I think your face looks perfect by the way, in that picture & always Jac: 😌😌 you're way too kind Savannah: my good deed is the gifts I've brought, how flawless you are is just what I genuinely believe Jac: thank goodness the walk back will give me time to cool down my 😳 Savannah: Oh no! I'll have to bring it back Savannah: 🌷 🌺 🌸 Jac: is that a clue to my gifts? 🧐 Savannah: perhaps 😊 Jac: 🥰 Savannah: [sends her a pic of her snuggling all these dogs cos we've made ourselves at home hens but she'd never post it because she don't look perfect enough] Jac: Awwh! Jac: You're [insert dog's name here]'s favourite, you know Savannah: Oh my god, am I? She's my favourite too! Jac: Yep, fully endorse this lovestory Savannah: 🥰🤗 Savannah: Teen motherhood definitely wasn't part of my plan but for her, I'll make the necessary changes Jac: If anyone could actually work it, it would be you Savannah: I literally can't even joke about it because of the degree at which I'll be tempting fate & how vitally important it is to me that no 👶🏾 happen yet Jac: We won't speak that into existence 🤐 Jac: can you imagine Savannah: I can imagine exactly what my dad would say Jac: 🤐 need that about as much as you need the 👶🏾 Savannah: I refuse to put a single foot wrong for him to claim is a cry for his attention Jac: As if Jac: the ego, like, yes, I'm going to permanently change MY life so you pay me attention Savannah: I can't make it any clearer that I'm not interested, we haven't spoken since he left Jac: exactly Jac: he wants you to make mistakes so he can have a valid in and come back to berate you because he knows IF he wants to make that contact as things are now, it's HIM that will face the criticism, rightly so, but he doesn't want that Savannah: ^^^ Jac: and he's meant to be the grown-up Jac: 🙄 Savannah: at least, having not acted like one for a long time, I'm fully prepared for his behaviour instead of being shocked by it once I reach my own adulthood Jac: 🌥 Jac: the only one defined by his mistakes, will be him Jac: you're gonna be happy and thrive, none of this will stop you Savannah: of course, because I've got you 🌞💛 Jac: if anyone is sunshine, it's you Jac: I just gravitate towards you 🌻🌻 Savannah: I'm willing you into my orbit right now for sure, you must be freezing out there Jac: yes, it's pretty cold Jac: the fashionable coat is gonna have to be swapped for the more practical 😖😂 Savannah: my poor baby! I'll warm you up Jac: 😳😳 works too Jac: for now, whilst I fast walk because I can't run on this ice Savannah: Don't walk too fast! Savannah: even with all the experience Ty has given me, I can't attest to be some kind of physiotherapist Jac: I 🤞 Savannah: I'll stop talking to you until you're back safely 👼🏾 Jac: ❤❤❤

[xiazoxio]

Chapter 1 - "Flicker"

Word count: 1.2k

A/n; oop- part 1 omg! I made it only 1.2k words because I was busy being a 🤡 hehehh-

There's a surprise moodboard at the end c:

------

I've finally come to the realization that maybe,after all these years, she wouldn't be coming back.

I placed the cup I was previously holding back onto the counter. My tears felt suffocating at this point, they never stopped. Salty and bittersweet sorrow was always a nostalgic feeling no matter how many times I've tried to impede it. They were always reminiscent of the fact she was never coming back. 

I took in a deep breath, like I could breathe only when my presence was accompanied by sadness.

I leaned back on the cool wall, jolting me up a bit,from the contrast of the warm bed. I started thinking. 

Was that dream real? Or was it just another one of those stupid,stress nights?

I unconsciously looked at the gently swaying window, reflecting the orange hue of the rising sun, the curtains dimming the light from completely blinding me. There, a slit between the curtains and the window was present. Beautiful cotton skies,swirling with intricate clouds and vibrant dream-like colors of hints of pastel blues and indigos. The clouds forming a beautifully ornate pattern across the sky after the rain, something I'd seen for the first time. 

The little plants growing beside the window frame were luminous with life. They gave off a fresh scent that made breathing a bit easier. The lovely scent pricked my nose, chuckling a bit at the thought. A few chirping birds passed by, a mother and her child, her children emulating her,singing sweet songs.

The little window gave me just the tiniest bit of hope of restarting.

-

I was holed up in this apartment for the rest of the day, having been given a holiday due to heavy rains for the past weeks. Of course, I continued on lifelessly until today, where I wanted to do some activity.

Still having the reminder that rain will be pouring down later this day. 

I started planning on what to do. I counted the stakes this was just a lucid dream, or it wasn't. I've never had these dreams, half of the excuse that I hadn't been able to snap out of my own haze of ignorance. 

If it really was real, I started planning ahead.

Acceptance.

My heart ached for a minute as I stared at the word I'd written down. It was almost on impulse my mind acted upon, but it was showing that I had started to think about this more rationally than an emotional view.

I brainstormed for steps to start, my hands not fast enough to keep up with my mind, a reason for my messy handwriting.

I need to start thinking about our old,happier times instead of mourning for the ones we won't be able to spend together.

This sentence alone made an appearance of a bittersweet smile.

I may not remember those times too brightly, because back then, we didn't know we were making (lost) memories, we just knew that we were having fun.

-

5:36 PM

It was the same dream I'd gotten last week.

The same road I'd inevitably run down, the same pattern of warm blood that'd slip through the cracks of the jagged road, the dreadful feeling of fear creeping up on my back as I came to a screeching halt in front of me.

The pitiful stares of people around me as shock stilled my body.

But then I woke up.

A dry path of drool still embedded on my skin as I lifted my head up to see the papers around me, small pictures of us scattered on the grey,cold desk. I fell asleep. 

I stared at the ticking clock for a few minutes,confused thoughts still clogging my mind. I slowly processed what was happening around me and stood up.

I turned right,hearing a loud purr.

Munko laid on top of my bedside drawer,dangerously close to pushing the lamp off,but taking more interest in the stray fibres of my pillow cover. I walked over trying not to startle her and slowly picked up the lamp, keeping it beside the drawer. Munko stretched out onto the space the lamp had previously taken over, as if mocking its victory over the space. I laughed at her antics and picked her up, making sure her claws weren't tangled within the fibres of the pillow cover.

I walked out of my bedroom, leaving the half written papers on my desk to fly with the outside wind however they wanted,hoping they wouldn't fly out the open window.

I slowly let her down from my arms onto the floor. She walked towards her food bowl that laid empty,with only small crumbs of the dry food I'd feed her at times. I remembered to feed her and walked over to her to pick up the bowl. She'd instantly meow as loud as possible whenever there was her bowl in my hand, because she knew I was going to feed her a bunch.

I kept the bowl on the counter and,like muscle memory, completed the task before I knew it. I was still thinking,however, about what I should exactly do. Enko's instructions were quite vague, only to "move on".

Of course, I had the internet too. But just as a precaution,maybe I should wait for her instructions. It is her undying wish, after all.

I picked up the bowl after Munko had eaten and licked it clean to pour in some water and get her to drink some,even if only a little.

Making sure she'd drink at least some, I searched for my phone. The apartment was too silent,too tormenting for my thoughts.

I searched for my phone, located it and sat on my bed, browsing through my music playlist searching for some background noise. It'd work even if it was static, I can't handle silence for long. 

Music was like a form of comfort.

I'd always find something related to my problems, having something to relate to and knowing that person who sang it was also going through the same thing always gave me some form of reassurance. It comforted me.

But music only helps you so far. 

There are times when even music can't read your feelings. Feelings are complicated and hard to understand. They're always deeper than the surface. No words can describe, whether unique or common, no word could ever.

People say that a person who understand the depth of your emotions is your soulmate, and to hold on to them with a death grip.

However, this concept was quite a mess to me.

I put my phone down as beautiful rhythms emitted from it. 

I was lost, for once. It was a new feeling. A mix of stress, confusion yet excitement and thrill. It felt refreshing. Life was seeming vibrant and colorful for the first time,new fluttering feelings dancing in my chest, and my heart pounding in happiness as small flickers of thrill run down my spine.

Is this what living feels like?

I don't want to lose these feelings, this new feeling of ebullience, a ball of child-like happiness. 

I want to make everyday count,every day to remember, and every moment to be filled with contentment.

Maybe I'll try something new tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

-

[latenightdrabble-blog]

Spring -Part 2

Thanks to @byul-bit-arae for letting me use this moodboard! ❤

Here's part two of this little fic. Find part one here. Also, you don't really need to have read part one to read this, it's up to you!

~~~~~~

Excitement coursed through your veins as you woke up in your hotel room. Never have you been excited when you woke up. Usually, you didn't even speak to anyone until an hour and cup of coffee later. The fact that you were in Japan, for a vacation with Taeyong though, was enough to make you throw the covers off.

"Tae wake up WAKE UP!" you said, nudging him softly in the side. He was snuggled into the blanket and you almost felt bad for interrupting his sleep.

"Five more minutes..." he mumbled, pulling the covers closer to his chin.

"Tae we have SEIZE THE DAY! Just because you made your Japan debut now and have travelled here many times, it doesn't mean that you can laze around like this!"

"Baby girl lemme sleep a little more" he said and turned away from you.

Nah ah. This would not do. You quickly formed a plan of attack.

You quickly got up and went over to his side of the bed, and settled on your knees.

"Tae~ wakey wakey!" you said as you attacked him with kisses. You climbed on top of him and continued to do so as his eyes flew open. "Wha- what are you doing?" he said, a blush covering his face. He flipped you over and settled on top of you. You squealed as he began tickling you.

"Two can play at this game!"

After a lot of convincing and a couple more kisses, the two of you finally got out of bed. You looked forward to going out and exploring the Osaka. Getting dressed quickly, you headed out for breakfast.

~~~~~~~

Half the day passed by blissfully and you had to pinch yourself to believe it was all true. You made sure you had asked Yuta for places to visit and restaurants to eat at, and slowly worked through the list. Taeyong made sure to get the other members a little something a well.

The last stop of the evening, before sunset, was one of the cherry blossom viewing gardens.

You had indulged in everything cherry blossom flavoured so far, from your latte in the morning, to the box of pocky in your hand. Taeyong found it very amusing, and his heart swelled with happiness to see you finally enjoy yourself and be fully relaxed. He knew how much you needed this trip and this time together.

"You've shown me a different side of you" he said, grinning and pulling you close.

"What do you mean?"

"Remember you used to hate pink? Now you've done nothing but eat pink things" he said, chuckling.

"Tis the season Tae! Plus, I used to hate pink, not anymore."

"Tis the season indeed. Except that Sakura beer was kind of silly, it didn't even taste like it!"

"I know!! But the can was cute."

"The can was cute" he repeated, mocking you as you both burst out laughing.

~~~~~

The path led you to the gardens, and as soon as you laid your eyes on the trees, your mouth fell open in delight.

"Woaaahhhhh! It's so BEAUTIFUL!" you said and ran ahead toward the trees. It indeed was a beautiful sight, the blossoms gently swaying in the breeze, the pretty pink dusting giving it an other worldly look. "It's so much better than all the anime I've watched..!"

"All the anime you've watched? Seriously?" Taeyong asked, catching up to you.

"Yeah~" you said dreamily. You were too taken in by the sight to focus on what he was saying. He took this opportunity to get some great candid pictures of you. it took you a while to realize but when you did, you ran up to him and said, “Tae! You sneaky little snake, you.”

“I can't help it when you're so pretty.” 

“The blossoms are prettier.”

“I doubt that.” 

“Okay you're prettier.”, you said, teasingly.

Taeyong walked ahead ahead, to pick up a flower. In his attempt to find the perfect one, you found an opportunity to get back at him. You whipped out your phone and began clicking pictures of him. He soon noticed what you were doing, and being the diva he is, threw up a few peace signs and said, “Everything I do is a pose.”

"Yeah yeah whatever.”, you said, giggling. You continued taking pictures of him, and in one of those moments, you had an epiphany. You slowly lowered your phone and stared at him, slightly in awe, with a million thoughts racing through your head. You couldn't help but think about how lucky you were to be with such a wonderful man. He had been nothing but supportive, patient and understanding, no matter how tough things got. You both understood each other so well, it almost scares you. You don't believe in soul mates, but if you did, he'd be pretty close to being one. 

"Hey, what's wrong?” He asked, seeing that you were just staring at him, not doing anything. “Is everything okay?”

“Tae” you breathed out, your voice almost a whisper, as you tried to form a coherent sentence. 

“Yeah?”

“I don't think I've ever said this but....thank you.”

“Thank you for what?”

“For always being here, no matter what. Thank you for being the absolute best. I never understood it when people used to talk about their significant others and gush about them and how they've changed their life for the better but now I do. All those stupid love songs finally make sense. I...... I don't quite know what it is I'm feeling right now because I've ever felt it before. I know you're not perfect, none of us are. I know we all have our faults, but that's just the beauty of being human. To put it simply, you make my life a lot better and I hope I can do the same for you. To be honest, I would like you to be a part of my life for a longer time.” 

“What are you trying to say? He asked, tears brimming in his eyes. 

You walked up to him and took his hands in yours. “What I'm trying to say, Lee Taeyong, is that I'd like to marry you someday. Maybe this is too soon, maybe we're not ready, maybe you don't want to, I don't know, I just had to say it. I need you to know.” 

“Wha-what?”, he asked, shock overtaking his face. He was too choked up to respond to what you had said.

“I mean it.” You said, and pulled him into a hug. You felt soft tears wet your shoulder as tears began streaming down your face as well. Honestly who knew the cherry blossoms would make you so emotional?

 Maybe it wasn't the cherry blossoms. Maybe this is what they call love. 

~~~~~~~~

“Oh my gosh hyung you are the least manliest man I know!” Yuta said with a huff, when you went back, and Taeyong told them what had transpired. “I can't believe your girlfriend had to propose to you.”

“Oh Yuta, quit it!” you said, laughing at his silly joke. 

“It's not my fault! I didn't know she was going to propose? I don't think she knew either.” Taeyong said, trying to defend himself.

“Yeah that's the truth. I didn't know. Plus, it wasn't like some proper proposal. I just said we should... Y’know.... Probably just make this official.”

“That's not what you said.” Taeyong said, teasingly.

“Oh shut up, cry baby” 

“Hey, you cried too!”

“Okay, okay, I concede. I love you!” you said, leaning forward to kiss him. Of course, you kind of forgot that there were other people in the room and deepened the kiss. 

“Listen, you guys are my OTP and all but- “ Jaehyun said, but he was cut off by Yuta who shouted, “There are children here!” before covering Sicheng’s eyes.

“Hyung, I'm literally the same age as Jaehyun, I don't understand why you're doing this.” Sicheng said with a sigh. 

“I guess you'll always be everyone's baby.”, you said, laughing. 

“But not yours, you're not that much older than I am.” Sicheng retaliated. 

“That's right. I've only adopted the dreamies.”

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