#i've observed it the last three years- by myself the first time in 2020 and then just at home with my wife 2021 & 2022

[harrowharkwife]

gonna be baby's first time actually Hosting passover seder on wednesday night 🥰 (it's me i'm baby) (wish me luck)

[annabelle--cane]

i wasn’t here when tma reached the height of its popularity (i only joined last year) so could you describe the Vibes (how bad the drama was, did it feel like there were too many people, etc.)

only if you want to :]

I've said this before, so this may be a familiar spiel to longer term followers, but 2020 tma fandom was honestly not the worst fandom I've ever been in, it was just by far the biggest thing I have ever been actively into at peak popularity and so the 1% of insane people that are found in every fan space were 1% of a much bigger total population. most people were fine and chill, but there were a vocal minority who Weren't.

major ingredients in the discourse pot:

from my observations, tma had a small but devoted listener base for its first few years, then it got a little bump in mid 2018, then a considerable bump in late 2019, then hit proper virality in early 2020, so there were a lot of people with hipster complexes about being Real Fans who were there first and weren't just part of the masses.

at this point I'm not even sure if this part was true, but the above was compounded by the perception that the earlier og listener base were mostly adults and the new wave of fans were mostly tweens and teens. whether the different waves actually fell along those age lines or not, a lot of people felt like the fandom was split into 80% Cringe Zoomers Who Are Here For Ships And Memes and 20% Millennials and Gen X'ers With Media Literacy Who Are Here For Horror. nice dichotomy, idiot, now what lies outside it, etc and such and such. our blessed fandom etiquette vs their barbarous dni lists.

which isn't to say that suddenly having a huge number of people, including young people, become interested in a single piece of media at a time of global stress where everyone had to be much more online and the content of the media itself was at its darkest and most socially relevant had no downsides. oh no. Oh No.

"my headcanon is not only objectively the best headcanon but it actually invalidates all of yours and if you hc something different then it's an act of bigotry against my Correct Headcanon." / "I have drawn up a list of Good Characters you have to like and aren't allowed to criticize and a list of Bad Characters you have to hate and can't acknowledge exist unless it's to make fun of and completely condemn them." / "I saw her username in the kudos of a jonelias fic" "girl what were YOU doing in the kudos of a jonelias fic" / "this latest episode handled a social issue unforgivably badly, I haven't experienced it myself but the vibes were off, everyone demand accountability and boycott the rest of the show" "hey that one was actually based on jonny's personal experiences" "ah fuck not again. well boys let's remember this for next time. this latest epis--"

honestly most of the discourse was down to like two or three friend groups. there was one group of people who you will probably remember if you were there at the time whom I have sometimes seen referred to as the Clown Gang. Clown Gang were ground zero for a good 90% of fan discourse ("hcing melanie as ace is ableist and lesbophobic" "fan content that focuses on jon's asexuality is biphobic. what's pansexuality I've never heard of it." "desolation tim aus are inherently ableist and racist"), but eventually they had a big falling out with Clown Prime and things calmed down. to be very clear I hold no ill will towards any of these people for four year old bad takes, hence why I'm not using any names, but god was it a time.

and this is only about the tumblr side of things. I was barely active of twitter so idk what it was like there but I was on tiktok for about a year during that time and the vibes were wildly different. iirc people there were less confrontational and there wasn't really a callout culture like on tumblr, but the extremes of the takes were FAR worse.

[thishumanspace]

My Relationship With Dry Fasting

Over the course of my life I had experienced "involuntary" fasting due to the nature of my active lifestyle and an unconscious habitual nature. Over the last three years I had begun to notice my body intentionally pulling me into fasting, so I began to observe what the process of fasting was teaching me. I learned about the clarity I had access to if I had intentionally remained present and I learned about the immense gratitude for Life that could be created from this discipline.

#1 DISSOLVING UNNECESSARY/INTRUSIVE THOUGHT The most amazing thing I've noticed about fasting is how much my mind has cleared. When my body shifts its priorities because it goes into a form of "survival mode", all the bullshit thoughts and emotions are the first to go. It's amazing. As a result, I always feel emotionally and overall energetically lighter.

#2 PHYSIOLOGICAL OPTIMIZATION My body literally feels physically and energetically better. Which also changes my relationship with food. With a 3 day water fast, along with intermittent 18:6 dry fasting thereafter, I have flipped my metabolic switch to run on fat instead of sugar. This is due to my breaking the daily fasts with fat. Fat energy conversion feels different than running on carbs. And because of fasting I can now tell which energy I'm running on when I have a mixed meal of fats, proteins and carbs.

**Note: I've researched others' adventures in fasting and many people account being able to eat with a sense of freedom without digestive repercussions, and I can certainly say this is true as I've incorporated former food insensitivities back into my meals without feeling allergies of any kind. And bloating has lessened. I suspect bloating does have something to do with how one eats as well. I would imagine sips and mindful bites keep digestion from being overwhelming, but that's my sense of things.

#3 MENTAL | EMOTIONAL SELF-REGULATION I'm already on a subconscious brain entrainment practice and I've noticed how this assists my new self-concept assimilation. I've also noticed because of dry fasting specifically, I noticed new healthy behavioral changes surface quicker than without intentional fasting.

#4 INCREASED DISCIPLINE Interestingly enough, I don't remember the exact moment when I shifted my relationship with [discipline] and what that might look like in my life. But it was like I woke up one day and was like, "I'm doing all these things to condition wellbeing, no excuses!" I became my own encouraging drill sergeant, but in a really loving yelling inner voice like, "yaaaaas bitch!!!!! get this shit; stay hard!"

#5 DETACHMENT FROM FORMER HABITS 2020 - 2021 was explicitly about departing from circumstances, people, thoughts, and habits that were not serving my highest good. Interesting thing is that I realize that I didn't really know what my highest good was...all I knew at the time was that I needed to cut out and get away from things. Dry fasting allows me to address any emotional and mental debris that had to go before some clarity could begin to surface. Part of this journey for me right now is to do things I hadn't been doing before, or doing things I had stopped doing as a child. So I dropped music, and picked up sketching, painting and experimenting on canvas. Also, voice-noting (a lot) and writing (inspired from higher self). It is especially helpful for me to create things that remind me where to focus my conscious mind as my subconscious mind integrates the habits that will create my ideal lifestyle.

CONCLUSION I have 14min left on this 24hr spontaneous dry fast today and I have a peanut butter and water ready to go :)

I'm just sharing to share. I truly and sincerely hope anyone who reads this is well and blessed. Dry fasting also consequentially offers me so much unconditional love for myself and for others

<3 Crystal

[mandelene]

Okay long time reader first time asker this isn’t a prompt per se, but I was thinking recently about your asthma/allergy-ridden portrayal of Matthew, and I was curious if in your human AU Matt has ever done immunotherapy (allergy shots).

My asthma is very mild (triggered by exercise/cold weather, both fairly mild reactions treated with albuterol) but my allergies are off the charts. I did 6 months of immunotherapy with 3 different shots every week (progressing at half doses instead of full doses because I’d had some minor systemic reactions early on.) About halfway through the treatment plan, my whole body broke out in hives and my throat began swelling, and I needed an epipen and steroids. I kept my poor allergist at the office an hour after closing so she could keep me in observation 😅. I was then forbidden from continuing immunotherapy. As it turns out, there aren’t a ton of options for severe allergy sufferers who can’t tolerate immunotherapy, except for lifelong medicating, but most allergy medications become less effective over time. My doctors are still trying to figure out the right course for me.

All that to say, as someone who also has immune problems and does such a good job at portraying medical things in your fics, I’m curious if you or your characters have ever run into the medical equivalent of “Welp. The gold standard treatment for this thing failed. ….now what??”

Hello, thank you so much for the ask and for being a longtime reader! That's so awesome! 💖

First off, I'm so sorry you had to go through that scary experience with allergy shots! I've considered writing about them before but never committed to it because I always worry that readers wouldn't find it very interesting and because I already project a lot of my problems on asthmatic Matthew as is. 😅 It's definitely something I could write about though if that's something you guys would like to see.

I've definitely had treatments fail me. If it makes you feel any better, I went through 6 years of immunotherapy and it did almost nothing for me. 😂 I started when I was 10. I had a bad reaction within the first year of treatment, so I stopped getting them from the allergist I'd been seeing. Then, when I was 13 and doing really poorly in terms of my asthma, my current pulmonologist (who is also an allergist) wanted me to try again, so then I went through 5 years of shots with him. The shots eased some of my allergies (like my allergies to cats and dogs) but most of my environmental allergies are just as bad if not worse than they've always been. My total IgE is still through the roof.

That was definitely a "this thing has failed me" moment.

As for asthma treatments, I've tried a lot of preventer medications to manage my symptoms: Advair, Flovent, QVAR, Pulmicort Flexhaler, Symbicort, Dulera, Singulair, Alvesco, and more that I can't remember anymore. Some did nothing for me. Others helped but then out of nowhere my asthma would get out of control again. Since childhood, my asthma has been very unpredictable. I'll be totally fine one day and then crash the next day. My allergies or a virus will set me off and then I get trapped in really long asthma flare-ups that can last up to three weeks and don't get better with albuterol/other standard rescue meds.

Since my doctor put me on Dupixent in the summer of 2020, I've been doing better. I thought having to give myself injections every two weeks would be hard for me and I was definitely nervous at first, but now it's easy.

I still struggle with my allergies. Even while on Dupixent (which I'm taking as an asthma med but can also help with allergies), although I don't break out into hives as often anymore, I still get nasal symptoms and I'm chronically congested. I should be using my steroid nasal spray twice a day, but I don't, so that's on me lol. As you said, antihistamines can get less effective the more you use them, so my doctor has me switch what I'm taking every few months.

Thankfully, there are always new treatments coming out, so I hope you'll eventually find something that works for you. Hang in there! 💪

[the-aesthetician-writes]

Hello from 2022 - An Update

(almost 2023, yikes! my bad!)

So I have quite the expected update to provide. I am very disappointed in myself to share that I have significantly dropped the ball on all my WIPs. It's so crazy how 2020 lasted for like three years and hasn't shown signs of slowing down.

In any case, I have found myself wanting to write again (after almost a two year pause). I've been sick recently so, not exactly the best scenario to wake up when wanting to write again. I have a few updates on WIPs past and future. But before I do that I do have a some new observations about the writing process that I wanted to share.

Recently, I have heard of this new process of writing called the Kitchen Timer Method. It's not the Pomato Method, nor is it anything too revolutionary in terms of writing methods. Put simply, the Kitchen Timer Method consists of an isolated bracket of time devoted solely to writing. This can range from an hour to ten minutes, whatever time it is, you're supposed to be writing. What has gotten me to try to latest trend is that the Kitchen Timer Method is the use of a writing journal that is to be treated separate from the current writing project. The writing journal comes in whenever one feels stumped or distracted by real life to focus on the intended project. This allows you to train yourself to slowly ween yourself off of your writer's block and get you to write something!

Among (us) other things, writer's block has definitely played a role in my recent absence from Tumblr (as well as my writing) and I feel like this recent method is especially more forgiving when compared to others. With the Kitchen Timer Method, its more focused on getting you to write and get some version of routine into your muscle memory. So if target word counts or percentages is something that perhaps keeps you away from your writing, I highly suggest the Kitchen Timer Method. I will attempt to revisit this topic again later, perhaps tomorrow, depending on my progress. The main point I wanted to make with this originally was that I will be using my sideblog @thebybyebiline for journal portions of my writing sprints using the Kitchen Timer Method.

Now, an update on a few current WIPs and IFs:

I have worked slightly on @thehuntersacethetic . I made a barely working demo using GameMaker. Game design was always something I have been wanting to explore, should be no surprise given the amount of IFs I have started. However, development on the GameMaker version of THAT is of course on hiatus because coding is hard as fuck. Any future installments regarding THAT will most likely be in an Interactive Fiction medium(Twine, ChoiceScript, etc). The very early demo link will be below, hope y'all enjoy the color yellow!

The project I am most eager to work on again is @bybyebitheway , I would like to write more than the first chapter to something just once and I feel like with what BTW was supposed to be originally, the Kitchen Timer Method will help this project along just smoothly. Having the chapter art sitting in my desktop for a couple months has also helped.

In regards to my aro baby, @tobeaspected , I will try to work on this at least twice a month, but there might not be consistent updates if I want to finish work on BTW. Another update regarding TBA, I might decide on creating TBA entirely on HTML. Twine is great and all, but severely buggy. Given the amount of time in between pauses for my projects, I would like them found the way I've left them. My experiences on creating IFs with Twine have made me paranoid at its unpredictability, but I won't deny it is a good tool to use. Maybe I will simply add a side website similar to BTW and have the same content on there. (sidenote: the MC will have to be unisex in the HTML versions since my skills are faulty and my patience for Javascript is wafer thin).

Thank you for taking the time to read this, hope y'all had a great weekend!

-TA