#i've missed milestones and last xyz with family

[radiantgardenprince]

I worked for walmart and we use to get Holiday Pay. And then they took that away and said the only day we'll get paid for his Christmas, when the store was closed. Then they took that away too. 'We'll take it out of your PTO' but if you didn't have PTO... You were fucked at the end of the year because you missed a full 8 hours of pay since you would've normally worked that day. And that's just.. normal if you're not a 'superior' job that actually gets holidays off.

I think adults need summer vacation. Like let's just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I'm so tired.

[sparkles-oflight]

Ramble incoming ❤️

Hearing people act like not hitting "relationship milestones” is somehow something to be ashamed of, whether they realise they're making people feel like that or not is SUCH A PET PEEVE OF MINE.

Not only is ridiculously ableist to assume or imply it's someone's “fault” it's also very naive. Everyone has different interests and exposures. I wouldn't want to recreate the relationships I've seen in my family that started under 20!

So many pursue relationship milestones just because they feel insecure and want people to perceive that they're wanted- so common among queer communities and ofc it's normal to want that, but not necessarily healthy to act on it. Personally, I feel good about myself and I enjoy intimacy, but I have lots of people around me anyway. So why should I feel a pressure to be in a relationship unless I want kids soon? My last relationship was nice, but I wouldn't take another one lightly, they're still exhausting even when good and healthy!

Even if you did have feelings for someone, it's still reasonable to be selective and get to know someone a bit so there's a level of trust before initiating anything intimate. Just basic physical safety and mental health protection! You can accept people's “issues” and flaws while still being discerning about what you perceive as safe and aligned with yourself. That's not being “picky”. Being picky would be ‘ew but they have blonde hair’, not ‘I think the way this person stops communicating with me with no warning sometimes is unhealthy for me’ or ‘I've seen the way they talk about xyz and I don't feel comfortable with that��

So, please, anyone, don't compare yourself to other generations or anyone who tries to make you feel bad so they can hype themselves up about something absolutely inane. Try and find some friends or mutuals who feel the same way rather than always being around people who try to make you feel inadequate for being totally normal and healthy. I love my friends; several of them are queer but we all feel the same way about this, so it's something we all like to rant in solidarity about when others seemingly don't understand something so basic! 🤝❤️

(sorry, I'll confess I got a bit lost in the first part that I even had to go to Google to translate it into my native language to see if it made sense)

The thing is: logically I know I have my time and I shouldn't compare myself to others and such. But then there are these voices in my head that scream with the Fear of missing out, you know?

But you are right in what you said. All of this began because I was putting into perspective the number of years of relationships in my family lasted (NOT EVEN THE QUALITY, BECAUSE THEY ARE ABSOLUTELY SHIT) next to my lifespan as a joke and as a way to make fun of my "chronic singleness" (that's what I like to call it).

What pissed me off was the comments from people close to me saying that kind of shit about being my fault/being picky/whatever and completely disrespecting me as a person and how I view love and relations because it doesn't fit with what they are used to.