#i've listened to all their other patreon campaigns and shit a little bit ago

[impathearted]

ok feels weird for me to articulate this without just catching up on riptide and then talking on it bc i'm worried im over reading into it or making incorrect assumptions without potential further context

but i'm on episode 41 and it's hitting me like a fucking bus so i wanna at least post it for my own records or something idk

with ollie i feel like ik it can be interpreted as kinda silly of like oh haha teenager we accidentally kidnapped a second time that now lives on our ship haha i feel like there's a horror element to that on a story level? of like this haha silly side character archetype that is then affected by the direct actions of a main character who was fulfilling their flaw who is then forced to go from adolescence to young adult hood literally overnight. is terrified and scared bc his entire body changed and he's been terrified and scared already for months.

he has no say in where he is or what he's doing, he's not consulted for any decisions that could affect their wellbeing because he is a child and he is the silly side character. he is brought from that background silly voice - insane character idea space to this "i am going through the horrors and it is your fault" role.

and it's horrifying! because chip is aware of his role in that and this humanizes ollie to such a degree for him that he suddenly realizes that this kid does NOT want to be here. that because he did want to be on a ship as a child, he has this innate reaction that everyone would want that. he never even questions until that moment that not wanting to be ON a ship was an option.

and i feel such dread in my stomach at the idea of like. imagining im a 15 year old boy who is upset with my mom and i go hide on a ship thinking it'll just annoy her or start another fight. that i will go home tonight. that i will see her over dinner and we would be mad at each other but at the very least we would still be in the same room! and then to in such a short amount of time, be out at sea with a stranger more than twice my age, who is going through an entire identity crisis and was a part of the occupying military force in my town and is now declaring he is a fucking pirate.

this loud, enthusiastic man who is kind but unempathetic to my situation. who is now the only person in your life and who i suddenly have to rely on for survival in a life i've literally never even considered before. to be dragged into the mess that is desire island. to then be kidnapped and be threatened directly with death. to have everyone directly be honest that it was a dangerous situation. its not my mother sugar coating rough things to keep me from being worried.

its being dunged into the deep end socially. i'm dismissed because i am a child but i am not treated as a child. i am infantilized but not respected.

and then suddenly the only person who's actually made an effort to get to know me, falls into his own personal cycle of destruction and i get a little to close.

to imagine being reassured that you just need to help, that this one person who you feel remotely any form of comfort is asking you to just help him and hide this weird compass you don't know shit about besides that it will show you the thing you desire most. to not understand that everytime you look at it, it is changing you. it is altering who you are fundamentally.

to go from that child to that adult with no transition. that would be fucking terrifying. hes already doing it socially but then is forced to do it physically. this child has gotten literally zero choice and has now had every autonomy he ever possessed stripped of him.