#i've learned that i get motivated by having a clear vision to work towards: i started doing thumbnails(?) with basic colours to get an idea

[sheeshiki]

[health-treasuretrove]

Taking Charge of My Future: A Review of Freedom Accelerator Digital Membership Area

I've always dreamt of having more control over my time and finances. The traditional 9-to-5 grind just wasn't cutting it for me. That's when I stumbled upon the Freedom Accelerator Digital membership area, and it's honestly been a game-changer.

A Treasure Trove of Resources:

The Freedom Accelerator isn't just about empty promises. Upon joining, I gained access to a comprehensive library of resources. We're talking downloadable guides, in-depth video tutorials, and even interactive tools designed to equip you with the knowledge and skills needed to thrive in the digital landscape. Whether you're a complete beginner or have some experience, the content is well-structured and caters to various learning styles.

A Clear Roadmap to Freedom:

One of the things I found most valuable was the structured approach offered by the Freedom Accelerator. It doesn't throw you into the deep end; instead, it provides a clear roadmap, guiding you through each step of your journey towards financial freedom. This roadmap can be anything from starting a side hustle to launching a full-fledged online business. The program keeps you focused and motivated, ensuring you don't get lost in the overwhelming world of entrepreneurship.

A Supportive Community:

The Freedom Accelerator isn't just about the resources; it's also about the people. The membership area fosters a vibrant online community where you can connect with like-minded individuals who share your vision for a life less ordinary. This community goes beyond just exchanging ideas in a forum. It's a space for collaboration, brainstorming, and offering unwavering support. I've found the members to be incredibly helpful and encouraging, which has been instrumental in keeping me motivated on my journey.

Beyond the Digital Realm:

The sense of community extends beyond the digital platform as well. The Freedom Accelerator often organizes events and workshops, creating opportunities for members to connect in person and build stronger relationships. This adds a whole new dimension to the learning experience and fosters a sense of camaraderie that's often missing in online programs.

Investing in Yourself:

While there is a membership fee associated with the Freedom Accelerator, I see it as an investment in myself and my future. The knowledge, guidance, and support I've received have been invaluable. The program has empowered me to take charge of my financial destiny and explore exciting new possibilities.

Is the Freedom Accelerator Right for You?

If you're looking to break free from the confines of a traditional job and build a life on your own terms, then the Freedom Accelerator Digital membership area is definitely worth considering. It's equipped with the resources, guidance, and support system you need to turn your dreams into reality. With hard work and dedication, the Freedom Accelerator can be the key to unlocking your full potential and achieving financial freedom.

[alexandercobian]

Day 4.

Quality sleep + daily practice = the keys to your future.

The fourth quarter is an interesting time. Sales season is on the horizon, holiday vibes are in the air, and everyone is either settling down into their habits or pulling bad habits out of their roots and preparing for a final push. The past week, have been a testament to my inner core, and work ethic. I've taken the bull by the horns, and adjusted to every new play in a matter of seconds. How? I credit this to the quality of sleep I get every night, and the daily practices I have installed into my life. I fall off at times, I try to maintain 8 hours of sleep every night, as well as daily reflection and journaling. My non-negotiable, working out every day, in some capacity has been the ultimate game-changer. I'm grateful to have hired a trainer this year, b/c this man installed what he calls the warrior mindset into me. Now I understand the value provided by disciplined life and sharpened by a strict meter on the indulgence monkey, constantly bothering us as simple mortals. Why? What keeps me so motivated to do this? The ultimate battle against the ultimate enemy; FUCK BRAIN FOG. By maintaining an essentialist perspective on life, I'm able to maintain a clear vision through every step of my day. On the contrary, if I were to fall off I would know because I would not be able to weave web after web of complex networks and systems via daily conversation as efficiently and profoundly as I currently am. Victory? Victory to me is when I spend my time right. Victory to me, is when I grow Lucia's vision, Damian's vision, my team's vision, and when I stick to my promise. This Sunday, on my Sunday run, I noticed various individuals sitting in different parts of the trail. A man sat on a tree trunk, and stared into the forrest deep in thought. Another man, sat under a tree and stared deeply into oncoming traffic. So I decided to stop, sit on my own tree, and practice my transcendent meditation. This one was a bit different, because the YouTube spiritual guide, asked me to choose a name based upon the characteristics he provided; I connected to the characteristics of a leader, hence dubbing me Worthy, and I also connected with none of the characteristics because I had felt all of the others and learned to play each in my appropriate quarters of life, so I was dubbed, Peace. My name became, Peace Worthy, during the mediation and I simply repeated Peace Worthy in my mind in between a slow 40 BPM metronome until the session was up and the thoughts I was left with were the only priorities I moved towards completing. This is the power of quality sleep and daily practices.

[batwhimpix]

An Interview with Former Takarazuka Top Star Asumi Rio: The Laidback Personality Behind the Handsome Face

(Translated by me 8/19/2021)

While still a member of the Takarazuka Revue, Asumi Rio was known for her sensitive acting which digs deep into the heart of each role, her crystal-clear vocals, and her captivating stage presence. As the top star of Flower Troupe, she gained an immense level of popularity. Now, it has been one year since her retirement from the company. She has expanded her repertoire from stage to screen, and continues to showcase new sides to her talent. In her first name-bearing variety program, the Hulu Original "Asumi Rio's Atelier," Asumi-san learns new tips and techniques to "step up" both her lifestyle and her design sense. Totally different from her intense onstage aura, this program offers a chance to get to know Asumi-san's soft and relaxed offstage persona.

It's been a year and a half since you left the Takarazuka Revue. How would you describe that period of time for you, Asumi-san?

When I was in the Revue, because I had managed to enter the world of Takarazuka, which was my absolute favorite place, I felt strongly that I didn't want to have any regrets. So I was very motivated to work as hard as I could to polish my craft. I was completely lost in it, but within that, I always had my fans cheering me on, and the guidance of so many around me. In the last year and a half, I've realized all over again just how precious a thing that was.

Until I left, my only experience was on the stage, so stepping into the world on screen for the first time, a lot of totally new forms of expression were expected from me, and I felt a lot of anxiety. Parting from Takarazuka and living as just one individual human, every day is full of challenges. But that said, every day now is also rich with new experiences and new possibilities, so I've come to face that with a lot of gratitude.

While you were in Takarazuka, there was a very clear image, that of a perfect "otokoyaku," to aspire to. Now that you don't have that anymore, what kind of actress are you aiming to become?

There are a lot of qualities I have now precisely because I was an otokoyaku, and I think it's probably okay for me to just embrace that. As top [abbrev. "top star", the starring otokoyaku actress in each troupe], I was in a position where I had to lead the troupe, watch over and guide all the other actresses, and shape each production as the lead actress. I think I've picked up a lot of grit through that experience, and even as a woman, I think having a bit of a masculine edge in your lifestyle and how you deal with things can be a positive, right?

Even when I was playing otokoyaku roles, moreso than aiming for a particular ideal, I came at each role separately, like, this time I'm playing this kind of man, next time I'm playing this kind of man. It was like a gradual broadening of my horizons. Now I'm simply adding female roles to that roster, so it's kind of like the scope of roles available to me has doubled. When it comes to my outward appearance, as my hair grows out and I transition toward a more feminine look, I've been having all kinds of new discoveries, like, "Oh, this kind of styling makes me feel like this." Within my drama roles as well, I like those discoveries like, if I do it like this, won't it be interesting, or if I do this, I can get viewers to say, "Oh!" I want to keep digging to find those little moments where I can really surprise people within each role.

Since your retirement from Takarazuka, what overall on-set experience sticks out the most in your memory?

I think that has to be the first show I had the opportunity to take part in, "Ochoyan" [NHK serialized telenovella]. Until I was on that set, I always thought that the stage was the most incredible place in the world. I would never find anywhere else where every member is so unified in their vision, where everyone has so much pride in their troupe and so much love for the production they're building together, as in Takarazuka. Even now, I still think Takarazuka is a very special place, and my love for it hasn't changed.

But on the set of "Ochoyan," like Takarazuka, there were so many staff working to create this thing, who truly loved the work and brought all kinds of skills to the table to bring it to life. Among the cast as well, the atmosphere during recording, where all of us in the Tsurugame Family Theater [the name of the theater company employing main character Takei Chiyo as well as Asumi-san's character Takamine Ruriko] really did feel like a family, wasn't that different from Takarazuka at all. On the contrary, because our time together was limited just to the recording of this show, it felt like everyone valued that time all the more. Being on a set like that was a huge experience for me.

In Takarazuka, you had a very hectic schedule. As soon as one production closed you were already thinking about the next. I'm sure your lifestyle has changed in a big way since then. What kind of feelings do you have about that?

I retired and moved here to Tokyo right around the start of the pandemic. During the lockdown, when I was in my house all day, I realized how long the day really is. Suddenly it was up to me to decide how to spend all this time in the day. I could use it to rest or, if I had some area I was struggling with, I could use it for training too. I had a renewed realization that depending on my own feelings, I could choose to change myself in any number of ways.

These days, how do you find yourself spending the majority of your time?

These days, I'm doing a lot of types of work I'm totally new to, and working on sets with people I've only just met, so I'm still in a place where I spend a lot of time nervous. When I'm on a set I haven't gotten used to yet, my antenna is going in all different directions, so after I get home I try to relax as much as possible. In order to fully refresh myself and go into work the next day in high spirits and ready to face whatever comes, I've been making a conscious effort to be kind to myself.

What activities allow you to refresh your batteries the most?

Zoning out, and eating delicious food.

On "Asumi Rio's Atelier," you gave steaming rice in a donabe [TN: earthenware pot traditionally used to steam rice, supposedly more delicious than steaming in a rice cooker] a try for the first time, but what kinds of things do you eat most often?

As long as it tastes good, I'll happily eat anything. I like vegetables, meat, fish, and I love carbs, too. Ideally, I want to eat a good balance of a lot of different things.

Speaking of that program, how were the topics for each episode decided? Were you able to make requests?

For "Atelier" we had the general framework that I would be trying different activities I was interested in from the onset, so basically they asked me, "What kind of things are you interested in? What do you want to try?" And then...Yeah, first I had about 30, then we added about 30 more, so in total about 60, ideas that we pitched. The program staff wanted to include as many of my requests as they could, so actually, within each episode there are probably three or four different ones. In addition to that, there's an interview in each episode that relates back to that episode's theme. I enjoyed the chance to reflect on my Takarazuka era and memories from my childhood.

On the topic of your Takarazuka era, in your first interview for us, you said, "I wasn't necessarily aiming to become top star." But within the system of Takarazuka, to climb all the way to top star, you must have been aware of something within yourself that made you want to aim higher?

Let's see...Ever since I was an underclassman, I had a strong drive to improve as an otokoyaku. I wanted people to find my performance interesting, and I wanted to be seen as a necessary part of the production. I wanted to act a lot, and I wanted to sing a lot of songs that I love. I wanted to bathe in the spotlight, and I was happy when I got to wear more gorgeous costumes. If I really think back on those feelings now, first in the shinjinkouen junior performances featuring only actresses who have been with the company seven years or less, and then in performances at the smaller Bow Hall theater next to the Takarazuka Grand Theater, inevitably I started aiming for the lead roles that would allow me to stand on stage for the longest every time.

Somewhere along that road, when I was told I was being transferred from the troupe I was first inducted into, Moon Troupe, to Flower Troupe, this feeling that I had wanted to be the Moon Troupe's successor welled to the surface. And since that's the same as saying, "I wanted to be the top star of Moon Troupe," that was the first time I became aware of that goal. Every troupe in Takarazuka has its own character, though, so after my transfer, I was desperate to hurry up and become an otokoyaku befitting Flower Troupe first...

So as you worked to further your artistic development, there at the zenith was top star.

If you were to ask my underclassman self, the Top-sans are unbelievably incredible performers, and the more shinjinkouens you experience, the more closely you come to understanding just how incredible they are. Then as you spend more years with the company and find yourself in a position where you're working directly under the Top-san, you realize how much work they're really doing, and...The more you know, the more you lose the ability to say something like "I want to be the top star" carelessly.

And yet, you bore the heavy responsibility of a top star for five-and-a-half years. It's hard to imagine from your usual laidback attitude, but when it comes to your art, you're incredibly diligent and strong-willed. That gap is captivating.

When it comes to theater, I'm very picky. I mean, I'm way too stubborn for one thing. Especially in productions where I'm playing the lead role, I always have really strong feelings about how I want to perform things, and I'm not in a position where I can hesitate to convey that. It's important to listen to the opinions of various other people too, but when it comes down to it, if I have a clear idea of the direction I want things to proceed and direct things with that in mind, it makes things easier for everyone else, so I always tried to communicate my thoughts clearly and directly. If I'm delivering consistently good work, there's a persuasive power to that. Not only do the underclassmen naturally follow along, but the staff listen and respond to my requests as well.

But when you're making this kind of production, you do have to be pretty strict. But then, the real me is more of a people pleaser. I want everyone to like me, or more like, I don't want to be disliked. I didn't want the younger underclassmen to feel like I was unapproachable or like they couldn't talk to me because I was the top star. I wanted them to think of me like family. So outside matters relating to work, I tried to give off as relaxed a vibe as possible. Definitely, I think there was quite a gap between "on" and "off" for me.

Are there a lot of differences between "Asumi Rio the otokoyaku" and "Asumi Rio the actress?" How about between your stage name persona and your private self under your birth name?

I've lived under my stage name for so much longer than my birth name that I feel like, at this point, the parts of myself that belong to my real name are few and far between. I do have the feeling that, in some respect, I've grown up together with my stage name. In essence, while I was in Takarazuka, I didn't worry too much about creating a separate persona. Thanks to the kindness of my fans and the environment I was in, I felt like I could leave my otokoyaku persona on the stage and stay pretty close to my natural self everywhere else. I guess the only thing is, when I'm alone in my house, I revert to goblin mode. (laughs wryly) Like I'll have trouble getting myself to go take a bath, or I really should clean but my back hurts, etc., etc.

By contrast, now that I've graduated from being an otokoyaku, a lot of the things I'm doing as an actress are total firsts for me, so I think I feel more discomfort with my presentation now than I did then. There are times when I get really nervous, and then I get disappointed in myself for feeling that way. Like, until just a little while ago, I was in a position where I was responsible for keeping everyone's morale up. I would get up on that stage like, "It's alright, just leave it to me," so what am I all anxious for now? I often think about how much I still have to learn, and how badly I want to hurry up and learn it so I can show the results of my efforts.

Is there a particular ideal you're currently pursuing? What kind of actress do you want to become, and what kind of woman?

Since leaving Takarazuka, I've had a lot more opportunity to meet all kinds of new people. On every set I've been on, each of the actresses I meet has their own unique aura, and seeing their acting up close, I'm blown away by each of them. Among the staff as well, there are so many different kinds of professionals of all ages, and I often find myself inspired by their work ethic and lifestyle. I'd like to continue to enrich my life by learning from the amazing people I meet and experiencing many new things, and work to become a more fully rounded human being.

*Bracketed notes not marked "TN" (Translator's Note) were present in the original article.

[vidalinav]

Hi! I love your vision about the Acotar characters and I wanted to see the opinion of someone else on a thought I've been keeping on my mind. Well, in acosf it was clear that Nesta had no idea of the mating bond, but, I think we can all agree that Cassian knew it, he said that to her after she refused to acknowledge that they were mates. Anyway, the question I keep running on my mind is: if there wasn't a mating bond at all, would Cassian fall in love with Nesta? Does he only wanted to be with her because of this attraction? Or even better: does Cassian only got attracted, fell in love, with Nesta because of the effects of the mating bond? Their feelings towards each other only exist because of the mating bond? I like to think that no, that they really started to falling in love when they start to get to know each other, but it's hard to have any arguments to prove it. We haven't a lot of moments of them making their feelings pretty clear. It got a bit of confused to me. Seems just the mating bond talking sometimes and it feels like they wouldn't be together without it. Idk, I want some opinions here hahahah

Wow, okay. Flattered that you want my opinion of this. I love receiving anons.

I'd say on a surface level it boils down to how much you are convinced of their romance, because mating bonds don’t mean anything contextually. I’ll explain. 

Many people are not convinced of the romance, which is why a lot of people don't care too much for Cassian. A lot of other people like Cassian but either choose to ignore many narratively weird things he does or how he works in "Nesta's story" (putting quotation marks since he is a dual pov) or categorize it as his "flaws." My own stance is that I can admit that Cassian can and should have flaws, but what his flaws were to what they are now are not as complicated or complex as they were prior to acofas. It's infinitely more interesting to read about how Cassian wants Nesta but perhaps doesn't want to admit it for fear of rejection, fear of how things are going to change regarding Mor and Azriel, fear of just being loved and not knowing how that feels. Change is scary. And in acowar, I LOVED that push and pull. That I can't resist you, but I also don't want to admit it. That I'm going to show you a thousand ways I love you, but it's intimate and quiet and sacred and right now it's a secret that I don't want to tell anyone, you know that I’m going to take my hand away when Mor gets in the room circumstance. It fit so much his dynamic of being the comedy relief, the other characters maybe not taking him seriously or what he does, and then also playing this buffer, you know because all of this is a mask or one facet of him, and Nesta's standoffishness was a mask as well and merely one facet of her. It was a beautiful thing, this idea that they could see each other and wanted to see each other, protect each other, not being able to stay away. The potential for that was amazing, because it integrated both romance and potential character development. A mating bond didn’t matter at this point, though we speculated. But even if they didn’t have one, we knew the connection was set in stone. 

In acosf, it really was a let down, because we learn Cassian can't really see Nesta, and doesn't really understand her or put effort into knowing what she's going through. He puts effort in some areas, but motivations are questionable and the areas he puts effort in are questionable. Which is so odd, when you think of the fact that this is the guy who is the only one who validates what Nesta went through in the cauldron, that "her body was violated. It stopped belonging entirely to her." The one who kept coming back over and over, who couldn’t stay away. Before acofas, I'd say 100% the mating bond didn't matter. They might of had one, but that was not what their romance was based on. It was deeper than any frilly bond that any one and everyone does have.

So I agree both with people who think he's horrible and those who don't think he's horrible and is very sweet, and this makes all the difference to “is the romance fulfilling or not?” Which then segments this notion of the mating bond. The mating bond doesn’t make the relationship. The relationship makes the mating bond. Unfortunately, I'm going to once again mention that SJM wrote this story weird, where there's a lack of grey but a heavy amount of black and white. That's how I'm going to explain it. Because there was so much of two different extremes and no meeting in the middle. The push and pull was gone or maybe reduced to the sexual aspect of their relationship, but I say even that is not a push and pull because they aren't really fighting against their relationship. It's a very shallow push and pull, rather it seems that SJM wants to say there's a push and pull but that actual problems within their relationship have everything to do with how characters are perceived particularly Nesta, rather than conflicts within their narratives and their relationships with other people. It wasn’t about Cassian and his insecurities, and it should have been at the same time, because he was grappling them when he didn’t go to Nesta, when he pulled his hand away, when she laid her body over his and then spent weeks healing without any acknowledgment of that moment by her. It was all about Nesta's reputation, their opinion of her and her opinion of herself, and the readers’ opinion, and changing this stance. I can't say that it was really about anything else at the core. It certainly was not a healing arc. It was not her discovering her powers. It was not even about her training or making friends. That is what I will remember of it, but it wasn’t the main recurring theme. It wasn’t even involving Nesta’s own internal monologue beyond her self criticism and changing this to appreciation. Personal thoughts are way more complicated than this, even if people relate. Cassian could have had a better and more thorough narrative that could’ve sold me completely on this romance. We get action that we can equate to emotion yes, but we don’t get true emotional integrity and this makes romance iffy, because romance is 100% about emotion and how people fee. It’s the problem with show don’t tell. It cannot be all show and no tell.

So regarding the mating bond, I don't really think it matters. I wouldn't think too much about it, because in a text, even without the use of a mating bond, the author would show some "fated" connection to two people, that of course may extend cosmic levels if we're being romantic. We don't have to label it mating bond when two people have some connection, but a mating bond works the same way in this series regarding romance. Mating bonds don't mean anything and I say this because there's no clear rules as to what they are and what they do. Characters can reject mates, the cauldron doesn't get them right all the time "theoretically," they don't mean relationships will last, they sometimes are great, they might mean only strongest offspring. It's basically SJM saying hey this literally doesn't mean anything, but know that this relationship is special for some reason but who knows really, especially now that all my mains have them or will have them. Ultimately, it’s mating bonds are decided by the mates in question. (rolls eyes) What you need to be convinced on is the romance, and are you convinced?

It's something I'll never be able to answer contextually with acosf, because that book was a hot mess. I'd spend hours writing about every way that it is, but I have fics to write and that's more enjoyable.

(edited)

[kozutenshi]

with the strings of his lyre—semi eita.

a 2.3k word long myth retelling.

what was it, what did he do that made you fall for him?

was it the way he looks at you, sideways with that sparkle in his eyes as he strummed his stringed instrument like how he did the same to your heartstrings, or how his voice silenced the ones shouting in your head and had calmed you down more times than you thought?

you didn't know. more like, you didn't need to know.

it is true that he's impatient and somehow ill-tempered but he was hardworking, the callouses of his hands from the instrument he handled with care a proof of how many hours he had practiced. you adored him for that, with his pout, his smile, his laugh and his song.

was it the warmth, the calm, the charm? was it the spring that he always seem to bring with him whenever his music reaches your ears?

you didn't need to know the reason. you just simply love him like how he does to you.

what was it that made him fall for you? you were ordinary compared to him; everyone knew & see that fact, even you.

and yet, why are his songs dedicated to you?

was it the way you intensely look at him, always enjoying his music? maybe it was the eagerness to learn more about him, devoting yourself to not just listen to him, but understand him. maybe it was the fact that the nagging thought in his mind that no one will see through his temper & notes had stayed silent ever since you came.

was it the way you'll bring him the strength, the love, the way he always feels as if he was a dream whenever he looks at you?

he didn't know. he didn't mind it, though.

he was grateful of the patience and the comforting silence that he can never get as others demand his music.

he was thankful he had met you, had a chance to love you, and to hold you in his arms as his everlasting spring made everything bloom just for you.

"marry me y/n. then let's go somewhere far. away from prying eyes. won't you like that?"

the earth hummed with you as you answered him with a breathy agreement. the spirits of the trees and the flowers danced as he took your hand kept you in his arms until the sun sunk in the horizon.

it was wonderful, like a myth. magical, as if gods had descended upon you two to bless your future union.

he held you close to him that night, the silk drapes and the gold accessories all gone from your skin. a soft thin blanket covered the two of you just right, your scent intertwining with his.

it was just simply you and him.

"semi? do you mind if i go with my friends to the meadow?" he smiled slightly as your bright eyes met his, eager to be with your friends. he shook his head. "take your time, love." you giggled at his tiny blush as he realized what he had said though you yourself had felt your face heat up. you waved your hand as you ran towards your friends, leaving semi under the tree next to your home.

the view was peaceful but a tug on his chest made him feel unsettled. it was dull but his mind was scattered & he didn't know what to do.

what was that feeling?

he was thinking into his feelings, staring off to nowhere, when a hand was on his shoulder.

"semi! y/n-" he snapped out of his thoughts as he turned towards the source of the voice.

it was one of your friends that had come running, frantically pointing at the direction they came from with tears of panic streaming down their face. "-bitten!"

maybe it wasn't seen, maybe no one had felt it, but he could feel himself slowly sinking, the weight on his throat familiar to him as his tears sprung from his eyes whe he reached the meadow.

he didn't need to know how. he just wanted to be there for you, just in time for your shallow breaths, your last words as his heart breaks over again.

but fate has never been on his side. there you were; your figure laid on the grass, looking awfully peaceful, as if you were just sleeping. silently, he cradled you in his arms, the blades of the grass caressing your skin.

he smoothed out the wrinkles of your dress, taking specks of dirt out mechanically as he placed his forehead on yours. there were no signs of terrible pain; just a bite mark on your foot.

his heart in pieces, he weeped.

every mortal life can meet its end anytime. he knew that so well.

but why did it have to be now for the one he loves? he wanted to take you in his arms, to sway you under the moonlight, inhale your scent whenever you pull him close to you.

all that turned to nothing.

the dryads watched him carefully, not knowing what to do for who knows what. he was talking to you with hushed words that only the wind can hear, his hand on yours. his tears had long dried & his eyes, red and puffy, had a tinge of stubborn conviction in them.

he laid you in a bed of flowers that day, letting you rest. the earth was eerily quiet, enough that even the gods had peered down curiously when the music and tunes of the young lover didn't reach their ears.

he denied it. for him, you were just resting in the small solace of the fragrant petals to remind you of his touch. he refused to give you to the gods. the sheer motivation and the stupidity of his plan made him cringe but he had no choice.

he'll go to the divine beings themselves if it means getting you back by his side.

he'll travel the whole world in search for a way to bring you back.

he'll walk through hell as long as he'll get to hold you in his arms as his spring envelopes you again ethereally as you smiled at him.

he'll find a way. he'll surely find a path to take.

the trees weeped with his new music, the sky poured. the gods on the high seats of olympus watched the puny mortal struggle and the earth with him. he didn't know if it was pity on him, pity on the world or his prayers being answered as the words had reached their ears, but eventually, he had found the secret to the underworld.

the descent was hard but he had now reached the throne room, hades in all his glory. the temperature was eerily low and the smell of earth was dulled out along with his senses. on the throne next to hades sat her majesty queen persephone, flowers wrapped around his fingers as she wills them to do so.

death & spring together; like how you left him in that one afternoon.

he poured his heart onto the song, every note singing of his love for his muse and maybe hades had also teared up at some point, it won't do anything but give him pity points.

"a soul can never return. that is just the nature of this world." persephone would've agreed with her husband if not for the familiar look of the boy's face.

"the balance of the world had already tipped he moment you, a mortal who hasn't lost his life, had set foot to the underworld. do you really think taki-"

"let's give him a chance."

stunned by the soft voice, hades' attention turned towards persephone. the silent plea in her eyes broke the coldness of his stare and he could only sigh as persephone persuaded him with a silent request.

"you will do this for me too, if you were in his place, right?"

gulping down the bile on his throat as he puts himself in the boy's shoes, he summoned your soul to the throne.

a soft smile spread across his queen's lips as the boy's arms enveloped around your body.

"i missed you. so much."

you could feel his tears on your shoulders, his warmth on your fingers. you could hear the broken tremor in his voice, raw from singing and crying.

but your vision was too dim to see him.

all you knew was that you feel loved with him. the memories were now just blurs, and you can't help but remember the sensation. the only memory you have of him, his familiar scent and warmth, was him sobbing, his words of love reaching your ears like a faint dream until everything felt and glowed vaguely, and your consciousness worked in your sleep. everything felt soft, as if flower petals caressed you in your slumber. the next thing you knew is that you were in this throne room, wandering around as the god of the underworld welcomed you.

you had aimlessly wandered around after then, slowly losing your sense of time and sight. was it day or night? was the sun out or the dark veil full of stars? how long has it been? your emotions were dulled. you were aware of your lack of pulse and the screams and wails of the spirits all around you.

a lost spirit.

you were fed up with it until a tune reached your ears instead of cries for help. curiously you had walked towards it, a sense of calm overcoming your body. the music seemed to reach everyone and the underworld had fallen silent.

the souls didn't know what to feel. they weren't supposed to feel but they wanted it.

they wanted to know the feeling of feeling.

but no matter how cliche it is, the raw thing in his voice and the way he had strummed radiated pure love and adoration. pain and suffering.

and all of it towards you.

unknowingly, your tears fell down, your voice but a breath as you recalled, so soft that it only sounded like a whisper. "semi."

he wiped his tears as he held your hand. "i've come to take you back, my love."

hades watched the interaction awkwardly, wanting to take persephone in his arms too, only to see thanatos shooting him a disappointed gaze.

the dead can't live for no price.

he cleared his throat before speaking. "on one condition."

the two of you looked up to the pair of gods in front of you. hades apologetically looked at persephone who had shot him a look at his side before turning to your pair.

"you can take her, yes, but on one condition: don't ever look back."

his brows furrowed but he nodded at the strange request.

"if one of you looks back, she won't be able to see the light of the sun anymore."

semi gulped nervously only to feel your cold thumb brushing on the veins of his hand.you clutched it tightly, depending on your sense of touch. he inhaled a sharp breath before nodding more prominently.

"i understand." hades nodded, clasping his hands together. "well then, i wish you both happiness at the end of this trial."

and so the ascending started.

it was painfully slow but you have never felt at home. he took you by your hand and led you up to the small stream of light you can't see through your eyes.

his smell has even left your reach, the only thing connecting you were your hands and the vague sound of his boots, echoing.

you can hear a bit of his voice but you didn't understand; cannot understand. you were trying so hard to hear him but your senses have dulled, your voice gone. you were no longer human.

a soul. you were just a wandering empty soul, the shell of his lover.

the silence around you took over as his steps became muffled and finally disappeared. it killed you, knowing how he will do anything to check on you.

squeezing his hand, you reminded him you were there but it was too late.

the silence killed him like how it killed you. the last few minutes, hours of walking, you were responsive, always humming to his stories and attentively listened.

but step by step, he felt you slipping until the feeling that he was only talking to a wall took over.

it was funny, how he never thought of you not listening to him. you were always there to laugh at his jokes, hum a small tune and even add to the false stories you tell of the village's children.

so you slowly slipping away from him had hurt him as much as how he had lost you.

and so, he made his mistake.

he looked back only to find your eyes slowly overflowed with tears, a sad smile on your face. you had felt his hold on your fingers loosened, his hand slightly wavering since he had turned around.

he can sense your annoyance but also the sadness and the feeling of hope being crushed.

but he can sense it. no, he can see it. the tinge of bitterness and the love and gratitude in your blind eyes. he can smell your ever intoxicating scent from where he stood even if you can't smell it yourself. he can feel your touch tremble and your fingers turn cold again.

"no. im sorry. no-"

he stopped begging as you cupped his cheek, pressing your cold lips on his. it was soft, lingering. a reminder and a promise.

it was as if to say that you'll come back for him, no matter when it will happen.

and just like that you were gone from his fingertips, the ghost of your touch haunting him forever as if morning dew & fog lingered on the tips of his outstretched hand, the bitter taste of yet another mistake filling his palate as he climbed out of the exit of the underworld, the spring rain welcoming him back to reality.

footer: i originally made this for a valentine series but thought against it👽 reblogs are much appreciated!

[kdysupremacy]

Kwak Dong Yeon's result on mbti test

📍 vlive 2020/06/27

📎 KDY is a commander ( ENTJ )

A Commander (ENTJ) is someone with the Extraverted , Intuitive , Thinking , and Judging personality traits. They are decisive people who love momentum and accomplishment. They gather information to construct their creative visions but rarely hesitate for long before acting on them.

📎 ENTJ Values and Motivations

ENTJs are often very motivated by success in their careers and enjoy hard work. They are ambitious and interested in gaining power and influence. To the ENTJ, decision-making is a vocation. They want to be in a position to make the call and put plans into motion.

ENTJs tend to be blunt and decisive. Driven to get things done, they can sometimes be critical or brusque in the pursuit of a goal. They are typically friendly and outgoing, although they may not pick up on emotional subleties in other people. They often love working with others toward a common goal, but may not find time to attend to their feelings. They are focused on results and want to be productive, competent, and influential.

📎 How Others See the ENTJ

ENTJs are natural leaders, and often take charge no matter where they are. They typically have a clear vision for the future, and intuitively understand how to move people and processes towards that goal. They tend to approach every situation with the attitude of an efficiency analyst, and are not shy about pointing out what could be done better. For the ENTJ, their ideas are a foregone conclusion: it’s just a matter of time before they can move the players to get everything accomplished.

ENTJs are often gregarious, and seem to have an idea for how a person will fit into their grand scheme from the moment they are introduced. They are typically direct and may seem presumptuous or even arrogant; they size people and situations up very quickly, and have trouble being anything but honest about what they see. ENTJs are sensitive to issues of power, and seek positions and people of influence. They are characeristically ambitious, and often very engaged in their careers. More than any other type, ENTJs enjoy their work, and may even say that working is what they do for fun.

📎 Facts About ENTJ

if you have the same mbti with kwak dongyeon , here are some interesting facts ;)

On personality trait measures, score as Ambitious, Forceful, Optimistic, Egotistical, Adaptable, and Energetic

Least likely of all types to report stress resulting from work or finances

More likely than average to suffer cardiac problems

Among the least likely of all types to believe in a higher spiritual power

Among top 4 types in college GPA

Among most likely to stay in college

Personal values include Home/Family, Achievement, Creativity, and Learning

Overrepresented among MBA students and small business owners

One of two types most likely to be satisfied with their work

🔎 another intersting fact : ENTJ is the rarest types in population

✏️ 2% of the general population

✏ 3% of men

✏ 1% of women

information source : 16 personalities , truity

🖇️🌸 : I've just done a mbti test so i did some research about kwak dongyeon's , turn out , hes part of the least common group which is really interesting . and he said on vlive that he actually did twice , it's entj both time and the infos match his personality a lots ﾉ♡

[silver-wield]

I’m sorry in advance. This is a long rant. I think the main reason I can't accept this "SOLDIER!Cloud loves A” thing is because I've always felt that the whole love triangle nonsense was introduced solely to make the players invested in A. Let's face it, the biggest reason people were devastated when she died is because they were invested in her potential romance with Cloud. It was the easiest and cheapest way to make sure the devs achieved their goal. (1/5)

But in their desperation to reach that goal at any cost, the devs ended up damaging other things along the way. Having Tifa in the background until A was out of the picture was such a dumb move. It’s obvious they didn’t want any other character to outshine her. Creating this illusion of Cloud loving A served no purpose in the story. And Aerith herself didn’t bond with anyone save for Cloud. These among many other things. To me, all that wavering thing was so unnecessary to the narrative. (2/5)

Things felt rushed, and A was put on a pedestal and shoved in the players’ faces along with the potential romance with her. It was clear to me that the devs just wanted people to like her so that they’d be devastated when she died. But I guess you can’t ask for too much of games/stories back in 1997. I’m sorry, but I just can’t accept people saying that SOLDIER!Cloud loved A. They hadn’t known each other that long, and 95% of the time, they had other things on their plate than romance. (3/5)

It’s not like they were dating or getting to know each other during the brief time they spent together. Also, I don’t mean to offend anyone, but saying the LTD is now ending because A is stepping out and pushing Cloud onto Tifa sounds so insulting. Like Tifa can’t win unless her competition steps out and hands her the man on a silver platter. This time around, I feel that the devs are trying to do things properly. A is finally taking the time to bond with other characters, especially Tifa. (4/5)

Her world doesn’t revolve around Cloud only anymore. Tifa is not in the background anymore, so now people can get to know her and get attached to her even early on. The romance with Tifa isn’t something that feels like it’s come out of the left field about 2/3 of the way in. There might’ve been hints but they were too subtle. Among many other improvements. Whatever the devs do, I just hope they give us the best version possible of the story this time around. Thanks for listening to my rant.(5/5)

Death to the LTD 1

Death to the LTD 2 (dialogue evolution)

Death to the LTD 3 (soldier Cloud’s acceptance)

Cloud’s hyper vigilance

That would be because the concept absolutely was introduced to make the players more invested in Aerith, so her death had a harder hit when it happened. It was a new thing back in 97 to have a love triangle and pretty much everybody was starting to do it. There’s tons of movies, tv series and books out during that time that showcase the trope.

And having 2 heroines, Aerith and Tifa, and having the hero waver between them, at the time that was something new. ~Kitase,  FFVII 10th Anniversary Ultimania pg. 11

I think everyone forgets the difference in technology between FF6 and FF7, not just graphically, but narratively, too. Back then, everything was new and everyone was still trying to find their feet and figure out evolving technology. I mean, it’s still evolving now, but those building blocks that form the base are still the same. Just because there’s now millions of polygons involved doesn’t take away the fact they’re still polygons. 

FF7 was Square’s first foray into using more sophisticated methods of game development and that impacted how the story came across. In previous games, the optional content or hidden story arcs that had to be found to be appreciated made the game more fun. The player had to wander around more and talk to everyone to get the full picture and since it worked before, they thought it’d work again. That people would replay and swap party members around to trigger the other scenes and gather the rest of the puzzle pieces for the fuller picture.

But, they forgot they were trying to make everyone love one specific character, which meant the best way to do that was to keep her in the party over everyone else. Which meant people cared less about the others until the point she leaves the party for good. And by that point, when these people replay they just want to spend even more time with her, so they still miss the other dialogues and scenes with other characters that build their storyline alongside this other character they’ve pressed everyone to care about.

And that’s how the LTD got started because they chose not to play the game fully and only focus on one character, they didn’t see the entire picture. And the guides out at the time didn’t help much on that side of things because they didn’t give narrative canon party suggestions so that players got the most out of the story in each location. 

Soldier Cloud loved Aerith?

Really? When they’ve been saying for years that soldier Cloud didn’t even exist or that we said he was really Zack and that’s why he’s into Aerith? It’s funny how the moment the devs confirm that real Cloud emerged to embrace Tifa they decided they could claim the dominant persona for their own, even though they also said that it was soldier Cloud who complimented Tifa, despite real Cloud not being the dominant persona. We even see visible evidence of the two aspects at war with each other in the honeybee inn scene before Cloud dances. That eye movement back and forth and expression of “fine, for Tifa” is an internal argument with the two aspects that soldier Cloud isn’t aware enough of to realise that’s what it is. If we take Soldier Cloud as the only personality then there’s no way he’d do that because it’s not cool, and soldier Cloud is always cool. He’s being made to dance because of real Cloud’s desire to rescue Tifa. 

Aerith steps out...

Yeah, I wouldn’t phrase it like that, but the overall sentiment is that Aerith is refusing to do what happened in OG.

More importantly, though, and the thing I focused on in my death to the LTD, is Cloud’s behaviour and reaction and feelings. Because he’s soldier Cloud. Real Cloud isn’t part of the LTD because he already chose Tifa. Soldier Cloud is the focus of the LTD because he’s the one who misinterpreted real Cloud’s feelings and focused them on the wrong girl. This time, we see clear evidence throughout all of his interactions that he is also choosing Tifa.

In the train tunnel, while it’s real Cloud’s motivation to protect Tifa, Soldier Cloud is the one who carries out the roll. Then, it’s Soldier Cloud who kisses her cheek, the same as it’s Soldier Cloud who calls her beautiful. Because he’s the one flirting. Real Cloud’s desire is the motivator for him to do it, but it’s Soldier Cloud doing the thing.  Same with every single flirty interaction. Real Cloud’s emergence is only confirmed by the devs twice in the game and both times relate to Tifa. Real Cloud’s hand twitches with the urge to comfort her and then real Cloud hugs her. 

Everything else is only motivated by his love and desire for her, which means everything else is Soldier Cloud acting on those feelings.

The single moment of wavering from him is literally within the LTD nod scene in the train graveyard when Aerith grabs his arm. He doesn’t react when she does it, stays silent, leans away. He’s not showing her a preference. Then, he looks at and agrees with Tifa, which is showing a clear bias towards her. 

Then right before Tifa grabs Cloud’s arm, his eyes start to shift towards Aerith. This is the reference to OG Cloud wavering, but then before he can even look at Aerith, he spots Tifa’s hands in his peripheral vision, gasps, then looks at and smiles at her. 

That’s the result of Cloud’s wavering. He chose Tifa. After that, there’s zero LTD scenes and in fact, there’s a humorous shot of Tifa looking towards the camera after Cloud leaps on her to save her from the falling train carriage and Aerith thanks him for saving both of them. He didn’t save both of them. Didn’t even try. 

I don’t think there’s gonna be anything to worry about going forward because one thing Nojima learned from letting things be “open for interpretation” is that his work gets butchered. 

Since FF7, other FF titles he’s worked on -

FF8: Squall and Rinoa kiss.

FF10: Yuna and Tidus kiss.

FFCC: Aerith and Zack hug

FF13: Snow and Serah kiss and get engaged.

FF15 (when it was originally vs): Noctis and Luna kiss.

If anyone learned their lesson from this LTD mess, it’s Nojima, but he’s been restricted when it comes to 7 by the suits - which is one of the hidden graffiti meta messages in the train tunnel that refers to why Cloti was never made more explicit. 

“They tell you to go with the flow so they can keep the status quo.”

Since this is the last of the FF7 compilation the suits have relaxed the reins on the LTD, so that Nojima can write the story as he sees fit, which I would guess is down to the fact they did sales projections and figured out that FF7 would be massively successful and has in fact also boosted sales of PS4 consoles because people specifically bought the console to play FF7R. With the new mysteries and twists to keep fans talking about the game until the next installment is out, they don’t need to hold onto this outdated LTD concept that everyone hates and isn’t anything the company wants to associate with because of how toxic and nasty it is. They’re a Japanese company having to hear these so called fans talking about how Tifa is a “typical Asian girl” or whatever tf they call her. It’s disgusting. Square yeeted the guys behind Genesis because of the controversy around them, so to have fans like this associated with one of their most popular and iconic titles? Yeah, that ain’t happening. 

[thatfictionalgal]

I've described Dany's genocide of Kingslanding as a narcissistic meltdown/collapse before and it doesn't feel too far off. Dany has to confront that no one wants her and even if she's won, she hasn't truly won. The people cry out for their Queen to save them and we see the facial ticks go from somewhat pleased into fury when it's clear they cry out for Cersei. It's interesting since Dany herself has dismissed Viserys' vision of Kingslanding welcoming Targaryens back with cheers as being foolish and she has even stated herself that no one in Westeros loves/wants her so let them fear her. (Very similar to Cersei's "I choose violence") You would think she'd be more emotionally prepared to be rejected but it's entirely different once the reality that the *common* people reject her. Dany has inflated her ego on the premise that she is "the common people's beloved Queen", which has never been based in reality as Dany's core supportive groups have been disenfranchised people (slaves, outcasts, etc). She has never learned to properly work with common people, merchant classes, and wealth classes. If she was more politically minded, we could view her motives as more sinister or manipulative because she utilizes the disenfranchised. But in reality, the groups are easy narcissistic supply and the easiest groups for her to hold sway since it doesn't take much for her to "win" them over. Her limited understanding of Westeros class/feudal structure makes her group common people in with the disenfranchised groups she's navigated before so when the common people don't behave or treat her as she's use to being treated (read: worship the ground she walks on), she flips on them.

Another reason to add to the whole narc collapse/Kingslanding slaughter is how her main narcissistic supply lines are gone. Throughout season 8, every person who has inflated/enabled her ego is either gone or clearly afraid of her. Missandi is dead, Varys is executed for betrayal, Jorah is dead, and her slave & Dothraki army (read: worshippers) are mostly killed off. Tyrion is afraid of Dany and she no longer wants to work with him. Jon (who is clearly afraid of her from our point of view) only engages with her superficially and rejects her multiple times. Her main sources of power (dragons) are severely dwindled and she's admitted before that she wouldn't be anything without them. She can't even pretend that she's the hero in the Long Night battle since Jon is the one who worked the longest to prepare everyone for the threat and Arya kills the head Whitewalker which wins the battle. (Sansa also contributes heavily but I don't want to get into it as someone is going to try to argue the point.) We see at the feast that people are praising Jon and Arya while Dany is off in the sidelines. She has to pull a stunt in order to remind people she's the one with "power" (raising Gendry to legitimacy), pull focus on her, and try to draw praise to herself. It works for two seconds then she's back on the sidelines. In short: Dany has no supply to her ego and the common people crying out for Cersei is another blow that she can't handle.

AND ANOTHER THING:

The audience/stans really struggle to recognize that Dany's slaughter is established behavior and I blame D&D for that since they whitewashed a lot of her actions. The whole point of Dany's storyline is for audiences to confront their own morals when it's revealed that we will cheer on a violent tyrant if given the right circumstances. Dany established her violent tendencies early on but they've been directed towards cultures/cities that engage in slavery (the moral BIG BAD) so we label her behavior as retribution and morally right. (Cause who wouldn't want to see slavers get their comeuppance.) We miss that she is quick to threaten to destroy cities when she isn't getting what she wants. We miss that she uses violence to strong arm situations or when she's backed into a corner. We miss that we are only told she is a good Queen instead of seeing her utter failure in ruling Meereen. We're taught to excuse her hypocrisy and even justify (or miss entirely) her engagement in the slave trade. Audiences still don't get that the "Breaker of Chains" is ironic and that Dany is a slave master/slaver!

We as an audience only get to confront her actions and tendencies once they're directed towards Westeros, a country that doesn't engage in slavery and actively punishes people who do. (Ex Jorah) Westeros is shown to have a mix of good, bad, and ordinary people so it's troubling when she uses the same tactics and behaviors since Westeros doesn't inherently "deserve" it. Having the Kingslanding slaughter shot from Arya's POV, who arguably has the most connection to the common people despite a privileged background, was brilliant. Her fear and the fear of the common people fleeing to survive is so real that it can be felt on the other side of the TV screen.. We are confronted by the reality of Dany's tactics at a ground level when they've been previously glossed over (destruction of Slavers Bay, Yunkai, and Meereen) and we only deal with some of the fallout when Dany engages with it. This is what she's been doing all along! This is the terror she inflicts on cities when she feels justified in doing so and then she announces that she intends to do this to every city in Westeros. That she intends to purge anyone she deems bad/not good enough for her world order and we're meant to be horrified since we know Westeros to be filled with average people. There's suppose to be no excuses left to justify Dany's slaughter! The truth of her is literally right there! And yet there are people who refuse to acknowledge the entire point. They get trapped in what they are told (the narrative propaganda of Dany's leadership) and get swept up in her flawed beliefs about everything.

It's all so frustrating.

Okay, I haven’t seen anyone say this yet and I wanted to share. So many D@ny stan’s say that her burning KL was just fueled by rage and grief and she didn’t go crazy.

And I agree. What they refuse to acknowledge is that makes what she did a whole lot WORSE?! She was sane and even Cersei looked at her in shock. Absolute terror because someone ‘good’ do this? CERSEI!

“She used their innocence against me.” No bitch, Cersei surrendered and you decided to torch the place because somehow those innocent people were just as guilty in her head. The amount of bending backwards those stans do is mind numbing.

And thinking she deserves justice? For burning people alive?! W H A T

Honestly, I don't think it was rage and grief either, I think it was entitlement. I mean she's there, looking at the Red Keep, atop the last Targaryen dragon, in the city that was built by her ancestor, and the people beneath her don't see her as their rightful queen. They don't see it as their duty to put their lives on the line to fight for her "birthright". Frankly, a fairly consistent aspect of her personality has always been a fundamental belief that people don't have the right to reject her, and if anyone does reject her then they literally forfeit their right to life. I mean FFS, Sansa was politely frosty to her when she arrived in Winterfell and Dany almost immediately implied to Jon that something bad would happen to her because of her lack of "respect". I honestly feel like Dany's destruction of King's Landing was, at least in Dany's mind, like punishing misbehaving children for not worshiping their mother.

[oumakokichi]

So I've seen a few opinions of ppl who say that ALL Ouma ships are bad because they are "abusive" or toxic because Ouma would "bully" the other and they're unhealthy, etc. I've read so many of ur metas so Ik that's not completely true. But as a fellow Ouma and SaiOuma shipper, what do think of this?

I think it’s an unfortunate fact that many people sometimes takeaspects of a ship which aren’t always the best or the healthiest out of contextand associate them with words like “abusive” or “toxic” when that really isn’tthe case at all.

I’m reminded of the ask I got a while back from an anon whomentioned that people had been calling Tenko a “creepy stalker” just becauseshe was overly eager about making friends with Himiko and needed to learn torespect that Himiko is much slower about opening up to people. Again, it’s aperfect example of a ship that does have flaws getting completely misunderstoodand drastically misinterpreted out of context to make it look a lot worse thanit is.

Any relationship, be it romantic or platonic, has flaws. Orat least, it should. Adding flaws and things to work on and improve and, yes,even occasional unhealthy behaviors makes a ship much more realistic, and givesthe characters something to work on addressing. Relationships without any flawsat all lack depth. That’s not to say they can’t be enjoyable or cute in their easygoingness,but they simply aren’t realistic.

By “flaws” and “unhealthy behaviors,” I want to note that Idon’t mean anything edgy. Ships don’t have to be dark and gritty or angsty inorder to be realistic, interesting, and compelling. Even a ship that seems themost lighthearted and laid back can still have really interesting flaws—these canbe anything from a lack of communication (maybe one character doesn’t tell theother when something is wrong because they don’t want to make them worry) tosimple misunderstandings (maybe a character accidentally speaks for or overanother character because they thought they would like something, and it turnsout they don’t, and they have to discuss that kind of behavior and work on it).Either way, even the most “vanilla” ship can still be fleshed out andinteresting and compelling, as long as there are some flaws in it.

As with individual characterization, of course, the mostimportant thing to keep in mind for writing ships is to not brush those flawsunder the rug. Having a character’s flaws get addressed and called out withinthe narrative serves to highlight the fact that they’re not perfect and thatthey really do have things they need to work on. It keeps the character(s) fromgetting a free pass, and helps convey to the reader that these kinds ofbehaviors are unhealthy and need to stop in order for a healthy dynamic ofunderstanding and trust to ensue.

I would say that Ouma’s flaws as a character get more than called out within thenarrative. Not only is his hostile and antagonistic behavior constantlyportrayed within a negative light even when he’s arguably doing it for “theright reasons,” but Chapter 4 alone is almost entirely dedicated to being “theOuma call-out chapter.”

Despite Ouma’s motivations, it is absolutely true that hebecomes far too fixated on Saihara in Chapter 4. Unable to bring himself totrust anyone else, he decides that if he does ally with Saihara, he wants it tobe only with him and no one else. And to that extent, he tries to force Saiharato cut ties with Momota and the rest of the group, because he believes that he’s“wasting his time” with them and that they’re “dragging him down” by becomingoverly-reliant on his detective skills.

There’s a reason his confession scene in Chapter 4 is such amorbid double-entendre. When he says he’s the kind of person who wants “theperson he fell in love with” to look only at him, even if it means “putting hishands around their neck,” he’s not referring to actually strangling Saihara oranything nearly so grotesque. But it’s still a pretty messed up comment to make(not only because it’s very dark foreshadowing about Miu’s death, as her corpseis discovered in the scene immediately following his confession).

It highlights his unhealthy mindset by that point, thelevels of paranoia that he’s mired up in, and the fact that he honestlybelieves forcibly trying to make Saihara “look at him” and cooperate with himis for the best, regardless of Saihara’s actual wishes or thoughts on thematter. He’s stuck in tunnel vision, completely justifying his asshole behaviorby saying it’s “in order to stop the killing game,” trying to act as though “theends justify the means,” when the simple fact of the matter is that he’sjealous of Momota and the others and wants Saihara to pick him over them. Itsounds very childish, and that’s what it boils down to: he’s being a child andhiding behind his more strategical, logical objectives in order to justify it.

But the thing is, while this behavior is unhealthy and messedup and a perfect example of Ouma acting like an inexcusable jerk, it getsdirectly addressed within the narrative. Rather than just sitting passively andletting Ouma say what he wants, rather than cutting ties with anyone, Saiharaputs his foot down. He tells Ouma point-blank in the Chapter 4 post-trial thathe’s pathetic for acting the way that he is, and that he’s just doing itbecause he’s lonely and jealous that Momota has people who care about him buthe doesn’t.

And Ouma, despite being the world’s biggest smart-ass, triesto respond to that—and can’t. He immediately stops his villain act, says he “gotbored,” and wanders off, because he literally doesn’t have any good retort toSaihara’s accusations. Saihara called him out on his behavior and it was 100%true, and while it’s certainly understandable why Ouma acted the way that hedid, it’s a good thing that he wasn’t just given a free pass for it by thenarrative. In fact, on a first playthrough, the player is actively encouragedto hate Ouma, not only for his actions towards Saihara but for what he did toGonta as well, since it seems as though he’s just acting purely antagonisticand evil for no reason at all.

This kind of willingness to discuss and call out flaws issomething I think is necessary for any character dynamic, be it a friendship ora romantic relationship. See, as long as there are flaws or negative aspects toa relationship, just about any ship has the potential to become “unhealthy.” Butthose flaws don’t make a ship “abusive” or “toxic.” These words are oftenassociated with ships as a kneejerk reaction, because people have either madeoverly hasty judgments based on misinformation, or because people want to skewpublic opinion about a ship a certain way. It’s easy to slap these labels on aship without much proof or justification—and that’s very, very dangerous,because it causes mix-ups and misunderstandings with what actually qualifies asabuse or toxic behavior in a relationship.

As someone who has a lot of firsthand knowledge with abusebecause of family reasons, and as someone who’s currently in a very healthy andloving relationship, I can say that there’s a huge difference between the two.Abuse stems from an imbalance of power, with one person in the dynamic, be it familyor friend or significant other, trying to constantly belittle and undermine theother person, despite the occasional “honeymoon” phase, or brief times whenthey’re nice to you. “Unhealthy” behaviors are just flaws: things you or the otherperson might sometimes do unconsciously, but which can be addressed anddiscussed rationally, and improved, as long as you admit to them and make aconscious effort to do them less often.

Ouma has a lot offlaws. That’s one thing I’ve never tried to deny in any of my meta, nor will Iever try to, because it’s an undeniable fact. But I think trying to say that “all”ships with him, or that saiouma in particular would be “abusive” or “toxic” isa gross exaggeration and fails to address the ways in which Ouma actuallyinteracts with the people he cares about.

Let’s take his canonical interaction with Saihara, forexample. Chapter 4 is Ouma at his most fixated, and Chapter 5 is after he’sdecided to cut almost all ties with Saihara and the others, so that he candeliberately pretend to be the ringleader instead. But let’s examine some ofhis other interactions with Saihara throughout the game. In his FTEs and themain story alike, he constantly encourages Saihara, rather than belittling him.

Whenever Saihara guesses the right answer in a trial orpicks up on some clue or other he’s left for him, he praises him openly.Saihara sometimes wonders if he’s just being sarcastic, because Ouma is a knownliar, but it’s a fact that Ouma only ever makes these comments whenever heseems truly, genuinely impressed that someone is actually following his trainof thought.

He’s deeply interested in Saihara and in trying to figurehim out, and it’s clear that prior to Chapter 4, where he became hell-bent onstopping the killing game “no matter what the cost,” he actually does want toprioritize Saihara’s wishes and happiness over his own—which is, I think,pretty indicative of what a sympathetic person he is at heart.

As an example of what I mean, there’s a point in Chapter 3where Ouma says that he wouldn’t want to actually resurrect Amami for the “resurrectionmotive.” When Saihara asks him why in surprise, Ouma says it’s because hethinks Saihara himself would be happier if they could resurrect Kaede instead,and that he’s “thinking of his beloved Saihara-chan.” He tries to brush it alloff immediately afterwards as a lie, but considering there was no need for himto bring it up in the first place, and considering it matches perfectly wellwith his behavior in his FTEs and other parts of the game, I think he wasprobably telling the truth.

In his FTEs, he’s playful.He’s a brat who wants attention and loves to tease, but really, he’s justplayful with Saihara. His FTEs are some of the best evidence prior to Chapter 6of the fact that, for all his bluffs, he’s little more than a harmlessprankster; he spends the whole time with Saihara “threatening to kill him inthe end,” only to spend every FTE either playing Yu-Gi-Oh, drinking tea, ortying a game of rock-paper-scissors for 100 rounds. And in his final FTE, hewraps it all up by losing the knife game on purpose and letting Saihara win,giving him as many hints as possible to the true way to win the killing gameitself—which is to say, “don’t play it.”

His prison mode ending provides us with direct insight intowhat Ouma is like in a situation where he’s far less paranoid. Without thekilling game ever starting, he remains cautious, but he’s far less distant.Unlike his FTEs where he cheekily but firmly lets Saihara know that they won’tbe hanging out anymore, and where Saihara can tell that Ouma “won’t reach outor let himself be reached out to,” in his prison mode ending, Ouma actuallyasks Saihara to stay by his side, stating that he knows Saihara “wants to knowmore about him” and thinks that he’ll be able to do so if they stay togethereven after leaving Saishuu Academy. Saihara accepts, admitting to himself thathe’s certainly very curious about Ouma and that he doesn’t think Ouma can “lieabout the warmth of his hand”—a metaphor, I think, to the fact that for all hislies and pranks and tricks, Ouma can’t quite lie about his good intentions atheart.

There’s also what little we know about DICE, if that’s anyindication as to what Ouma is like with the people he truly cares about. Whilenot much is certain about them, we do know for a fact that Ouma’s motive videorefers to them as “friends bordering on family, closer to him than anyone, hisabsolute favorite people in the entire universe.” Clearly then, Ouma is verymuch capable of valuing other people and doing things for their sake. Ratherthan being the “evil Supreme Leader” he pretended to be, he was simply a leaderof a group of pranksters—and he loved them very much. This also supports whatwe’ve theorized about Ouma being a very caring, loving person beneath thesurface, despite the fact that he tries just as hard to play the unfeelingstrategist as he does the evil villain.

In the end, it’s this side of Ouma that makes him soenjoyable to ship, in my opinion. There are things he would need to work onwhen in a relationship with just about anyone, but I think it’s a hugedisservice to Ouma’s character to imply that he would be “abusive” or “toxic”to someone he was with. He is, after all, someone who puts others needs abovehis own. Even when he acts like he knows best or does incomprehensible,confusing things, he always emphasizes that it’s “for everyone’s sake.” Hissacrifice in Chapter 5, and the fact that he died when he could easily haveavoided doing so by letting Momota and Maki die instead, shows that clearly, hewould rather put others above himself, even if it means getting himself killed.

That said, there are of course, Ouma ships that I’m not afan of, and which I do think stray into much riskier territory simply becausethey’re on uneven footing from the start. Gonta and Ouma as a ship is a primeexample—not only does Ouma manipulate Gonta into getting killed, but Gontatrusts him implicitly because he’s very naïve and caring, while Ouma is awarefrom the start that he’s treating Gonta like a pawn. Regardless of the factthat I do think Ouma liked Gonta as a person and thought of him as somethingclose to a friend, it’s true that there’s a power imbalance there, and that I’mnot comfortable with shipping them as a result.

But there are plenty of Ouma ships in which he’s on evenfooting with the other party, and which I find interesting and compelling.There’s saiouma, of course, in which Ouma wants for Saihara to chase after himand understand him, to play the detective to his “phantom thief.” I’ve listedplenty of reasons why I enjoy saiouma, including the fact that Ouma is one ofthe main characters to encourage Saihara and push him to grow stronger anddevelop, as well as the fact that it’s based on two characters struggling topuzzle each other out and understand each other.

There’s also oumami and kiibouma, as a few other examples.Ouma and Amami have vast potential, as two characters who wanted to “stop thekilling game,” and who had a lot in common but never got to interact much incanon. Ouma clearly found Amami mysterious and interesting, and would’ve likedto have known more about him, I think.

Meanwhile Kiibo and Ouma are both intentional parallels ofeach other, both of them deliberately set up to represent “hope” and “despair”in Tsumugi’s killing game while coming to subvert their expected roles. WhileOuma teases Kiibo and sometimes can be somewhat of an ass about it, he’s alwayscalled out on it by Kiibo, and most of their interactions are more likechildish banter than anything remotely mean-spirited.

At the end of Chapter 5, Kiibo is the only character whosays outright that he doesn’t think Ouma was lying about hating the killinggame, and who wants to “end the killing game” himself as a direct result ofseeing Ouma and Momota’s sacrifices. And like Saihara, Kiibo is the only otherpicture set aside on Ouma’s whiteboard—clearly, he had a hard time figuring himout too, considering Kiibo definitely had ties to the audience and was soobviously suspicious, but also so obviously had his own free will and sense ofindividuality. The two of them have potential for really interesting interaction,especially as they were put on deliberately similar footing for most of the game.

These are just a few examples, to say the least. There areothers, but this has already gotten very long, so I’ll stop. But I wanted toaddress this topic in full because it’s something very important to discuss, inmy opinion, and it’s important to try and note the difference between flaws andunhealthy behaviors and downright abuse. Thank you for giving me a chance totalk about this kind of thing, anon, and I hope I was able to answer yourquestion!