#i've just been in A Mood since the announcement for june
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rocksandmirrors · 2 years ago
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hc: Steve attempted so many times to play Through The Fire And Flames on his guitar but can never get past the first 20 seconds. this shit's hard and he's tired
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onwriting-hrarby · 1 year ago
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some updates
hello everyone! i hope you're fine and enjoying the last month of spring. as for us, this may-june reminds me of the pandemic, in which it rained until mid-june. it's nice, though, since we're in a very dry season with water restrictions. i had missed rain, somehow.
twitter/fandom
some of you have noticed that i'm not on twitter anymore. i tried it again, but i don't think it was worth it. although i'm convinced my harasser(s) is subscribed to me on ao3 and checks my tumblr regularly (for i hadn't announced "for you" on twitter when i received hate comments) twitter was, again, giving me anxiety. also, when i decided not to be on fandom, i had begun finding twitter boring, because i didn't want to interact there a lot. it's strange to craft a tl anew, again, and overall, i reiterate, i think i'm happier just writing my own headcanons with no influence of fandom. i should have told 2021 hera this, as she was convinced that being in twitter was "the move" to do.
anyways, i'm fine. i love experiencing fandom as a little guilty pleasure, something more private and fun. it makes me less afraid, too: i had been wanting to write "for you" since i first began liking aot, but i was always afraid of what the fandom would say. such a lot of time lost, and now i'm writing it knowing that the aot haze is somehow passing by.
liquid confidence
i am feeling a little bit discouraged with this story. i didn't like some of the comments i received, and it made me doubt whereas i was doing a good job. somehow, since i was very stressed and didn't have time to write, all the scenes and dialogue and sentences i had in my head dissipated before i could even write them. on monday, i decided to come back at it again, but as for now, i'm slowly, slowly making progress (that means, i haven't written since monday). not being in twitter/having lots of fandom experiences doesn't make me rush, either. i'm not particularly worried that it's been a month since i updated. i want to do a good job, and i'm just not in the mood, right now. maybe i need to watch a romantic movie, or listen to taylor swift non-stop.
i thank all of you who had commented and liked the story (i will always be surprised, though, at the ratio kudos-hits) and i hope i can upload soon.
for you
damn, this was a bittersweet feeling. the most comments i received were from anon haters (and they kept on pushing that the fic was a failure). i'm not writing rivamika for numbers, so i don't really care, and i also think this fandom is very committed to their ship in ways that i'm not committed to ships anymore, so i trust that when people read the first chapter (which is fully levi/mikasa) they will like the story more. i have also resigned myself to receive anon hate whatever i do, so i don't particularly care about it anymore: that's why i have opened the comments to guests, too (always moderated). i'm sorry that people might see the hate comments, but i have to accept them in order to report them to ao3 for abuse.
i think i found two of the harassers in twitter, though. i'm not sure. they can rot in hell, and i know they will follow and comment everything i do. if that's the way they want to pass on time... they are sad people.
that being said, for you is progressing slowly, too. i'm sorry, because i really like writing it.
own writing
i've owned that if i want to be a published author i need to get rid of insecurity. i've slowly been doing this since the year started ("not giving a fuck"), yet sometimes the self-pressure takes over me.
i am turning "instead they said" in an original story, so this is taking quite a lot of time. i am also writing my new novel. i also revised the other novel i had in my drawer, and i think i want it to send it somewhere.
i hope we can read each other soon.
hera signing off.
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eerna · 2 years ago
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It's funny how I'm slowly losing my mind over totk release, I've played botw right as it came out and ever since totk has been announced I've been ecstatic and impatient! I mean botw is my favorite game, I love it so much and it's so important to me for differents reasons, as it was such a significant thing in my life during the months after its release because I was going through quite a difficult time and the countless hours I've spend on botw made it more beareable, it means a lot to me and it's very special. Also I'm so emotionally attached to the characters and the story, I could spend hours talking about everything !!
These past few days I've been so busy, stressed and worried about college that I don't really have much time to think about it, and I will be really able to play to it only in the end of june after my finals but everytime I'm reminded about the imminent release I'm going insane, screaming crying and throwing up hahah, I can't wait and I'm so excited !!! so my mood is just switching between normal but stressed to completely insane just at the thought of totk hahaha, I'm completely normal I swear... anyways I can't wait to play to it tomorrow !!! I can't wait to see what will happen with Link and Zelda (hoping for some Zelink), how Hyrule and the characters evolved since the end of botw, and how everything will change in the new game, I'm so impatient to see the new story, the new hyrule and all these new developments!!! Before Totk release, do you have some expectations or things you really wish will happen ??
Ps : I can't wait to see the fanarts you will probably make about totk, I'm sure they will be beautiful as always !
AAAAAAAA that is so exciting!!!! I relate to your message so much, BotW influenced my life in insane ways, so this sequel def comes with expectations. I mean, I know I won't experience it the same way I did BotW, but like you, I'm hoping for a nice continuation for characters I love and cherish so dearly! However, my biggest expectation is lore, I wanna know more about the history of Hyrule. My fav part of BotW was climbing around ancient buildings, drawing stylistic comparisons, and trying to piece together the puzzle that is its civilization. I hope TotK will give me a similar experience. And naturally hoping for Zelink cmon let's channel Skyward Sword vibes
And I'm glad!!!! I can tell you my creative juices are flowing already and I can't wait until my schedule frees enough for me to draw for fun again. Summer can't come soon enough
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heybaetae · 2 years ago
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Hi Kelli!! What a morning today has been dhshx i have a question that has been begging me for a while (its not bad and im bit upset about it, just something I've been thinking)
I know that everyone expects each of the boys to have a big album coming etc but the more i think about it, the more it seems that jk is not really interested in that? I feel like, we will get the song with yoongi and maybe something else, but it really seems like he wants to use the time before enlisting to rest and not do any more big projects (a d he already did so much too). And I'm not bothered at all by it, if he wants to rest instead of working any more I'm more than happy to see him every once in a while on a live, but everyone is so set on the fact that he will definitely release something big, that I'm just wondering why the fuck I feel like he won't, ykwim? I was wondering g if anyone else feels that too, or if its just me cnsjxhs
i’m actually of a very small majority of people whom, ever since last june, just decided to take what may come our way without any expectations in regards to their solo music at all. it was the ideal way for me to move forward into the new “chapter” because i’m way more willing to be surprised by what they choose to do rather than be disappointed because i set myself up to believe they’d provide more than what they may or may not end up releasing. so i don’t really think about it unless it’s announced or they explicitly talk about what they’re working on either on a live (like hobi or namjoon) or share photos of themselves working on stuff (like jimin).
as for jungkook specifically, i think i have an understanding of how he works as a creative person and how sometimes when we’re just not in the mood or not inspired to work on something, we just don’t do it. or when we do get very invested in a project, we tackle it head on until it’s perfect. he’s talked about this before and i think he’s just in the former stage rn. do i expect a full length jungkook album before he enlists? at the moment, no. i can easily see him just releasing a single or a small EP or something, but i also have no idea what his timeline is or what his personal plans look like. he could very well decide he wants to jump back into the studio tomorrow and pick up on whatever he was working on before he decided to step back and that’d be great, but if he doesn’t, that’s fine too and people really are just gonna have to learn to suck it up and accept whatever it is he ends up doing. i could say the same for taehyung too.
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hogoshoku · 13 days ago
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The time to awaken is now. (Tsutsui Ayame; Nikkan Sports, 04.06.2024)
[Sakamichi no Kayoubi]: Nogizaka46's Tsutsui Ayame - The time to awaken is now.
[Tsutsui Ayame's] first time being the chairman of the Under Live & getting fired up for her first time centering an Under song, "Shadougawa”.
04.06.2024
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Nogizaka46's Tsutsui Ayame (19) will be the chairman for the Under Live for the first time, during the '35th Single Under Live', held at Ariake Arena [Tokyo] for three days, starting on the 7th of June.
She bears the great responsibility of being the center of the under song 'Shadougawa', from the [group's] latest single 'Chance wa Byoudou'.
While facing her very first Under Live, her passion is burning brighter than ever.
This is her first time as Under Center. She recalls, "When the announcement was made, my emotions were all over the place. However, by the following day, I was already really looking forward to it."
She received a message from one of the 2nd generation's [now] graduated members, Kitano Hinako (27). She reveals, "I received a rather long message, along the lines of 'Being an Under member this time will be good for you, Ayame-chan', which surprised me."
She joined the group in November 2018, as the youngest member of the 4th generation. Her first Senbatsu participation was in September 2019, for the single 'Yoakemade tsuyogaranakute mo ii'. Since the release of 'Boku wa Boku wo Suki ni Naru' in January 2021, she had always been selected as a member of the Senbatsu, so this will be her first time participating in an Under Live.
"Every time I've watched the Under Live, it's been a stage that's left an impression on me, so I'm looking forward to being able to take part", she stated with a smile on her face.
Since all of the 3rd generation members were chosen as part of the Senbatsu for [A-side] 'Chance wa Byoudou', this will be the first Under Live where only the 4th and 5th generation members will participate.
"Someone being the leader - I don't really get that impression. I think everyone's rehearsing in a good mood. The staff-san have said that this time, rather than having some big gimmick, we'll be putting on a performance, [meant to really convey the idea of] a 'live show'. Just [gotta] dance and sing well."
"I don't think I'm good at doing anything befitting of a chairman", she says with a bitter smile, but [you can sense] there's a growing self-awareness. "I've been dancing a lot at home. I've moved the full-length mirror right in the middle of my room, so I'd be ready to dance no matter what. I've been dancing even before the rehearsals, as well as reviewing the moves as soon as I'd get home. Even now, my muscles are sore", she revealed with a smile.
The refreshing, youthful feeling of the 'Shadougawa' music video has been a trending topic among fans, too. She emphasized, "Throughout the song, there are quite a few parts where you can clap [along], so if you have the chance to come to the show, I'd be happy if you could join in and clap your hands, and feel the sense of unity of everyone in the venue."
"I believe that this 35th single is a very important point in time. Given its timing, I think that being chosen as the Under Center [now] means there are high expectations. Despite having been chosen for the Senbatsu, I think I haven't really been able to leave anything of my very own behind... I truly want to grow, and I hope this period will become a turning point in my life as a member of Nogizaka46."
On the second day of the concert, the 8th of June, she will be turning 20.
"I feel like there's a lot of weight on my shoulders. I'm trying to prepare myself by reading all sorts of books on how to get into the right state of mind [of being 20 years old] and things like that. People around me have been telling me 'Nothing will change', but, I do want something to change", she said, looking ahead.
"[A lot of the time,] I don't openly show my emotions, so I often get told 'I don't know what you're thinking', but I think this time's live will be a good opportunity for me to convey my thoughts. I reckon that throughout this entire concert, we'll be able to showcase that we've got that certain passion within us. Together with the 4th and 5th generation, I want to put together a show that will go beyond everyone's expectations!"
The time for an awakening has come.
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noandneuron · 11 months ago
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What do you think the current state of Liam and noels' relationship is?
This is a big question. I might not be the person to ask if you're seeking answers since I've not been long enough in this fandom to give reliable comments. I can try to tell you about my opinions but pls don't take them too seriously. And remember, whatever we're thinking, we're never gonna know what the truth is (even regarding what happened in the past). So what people are saying can be seen as different theories.
If you're on the reunion conspiracy side (I am), every piece of evidence seems to explain itself. There were indeed a lot of things going on in 2023 - the divorce, Liam's tweets, the kids. The divorce announcement surely could be a good sign. We know all about the confrontation between Liam and Sara. so if Liam and Noel do want to really get back together, Sara wouldn't stay in the marriage as long as there aren't firm reasons like she's so devoted to Noel or something about their kids. From that we could make the deduction that, since they're divorced, there should be a reunion already, or at least the chance for them to get back together. It still seems curious to me that in one of the articles Sara mentioned Liam as 'one of the reasons' for the divorce (which is strange as it's the only reason she ever suggested). This is only what I remembered and I don't have the article rn so could be wrong.
Liam's tweets could be another thing to delve into. The Liam we know is very real and somehow not a good secret keeper. Even nowadays he can stop himself from revealing something really important, he can't stop showing his excitement about it - as we can see when he's about to announce the DM tour and the album with John Squire (he even said he was 'told off', which was funny). So there were two notable periods during which he was quite hyper on twitter - once in January (when the divorce was announced) and once in June (judging from the tweets themselves we know it's about Noel). You can go check the tweets they're hilarious. Again we might never know what was going on behind the scenes, but at least we know something did happen. And if you're a conspiracy believer and an optimist, this could be the evidence for an unrevealed reunion.
So is the reunion of the kids. You can refer to the discussions everywhere around the fandom since it's one of the biggest turns in recent years. To me this was quite promising - I believe the kids have an idea of what influence they might bring to the anxious Oasis fans if they appear together in a public event. This is especially true for Anais. I don't think she's the kind of person who would ignore her dad's warnings and publicly hang out with someone Noel doesn't want to get involved with at all. So the kids' reunion could be seen as a result of the brothers' (attempts for) reunion.
There is much other minor 'evidence' lying here and there, but we don't want to get too deep into some sort of confirmatory bias or delusion so I guess it's better not to focus our discussions on them. After all, it's just one side of the story.
However, I do want to share an interesting story on this, not in a reasonable way but more into the mystical side. So back in October, I asked a friend who understands I Ching and certain oriental divination practices to make me some predictions for the current state and future development of their relationship. The results said they are on good terms with each other now (in October) but there will be some conflicts two months later, after which they will put it aside to avoid unnecessary troubles. Funny enough, the predictions were made on 14 Oct, exactly two months later I went to Noel's gig in London on 14 Dec, where he seemed to be not in a very good mood only around those two days in London and Birmingham as he didn't talk to or joke around the crowd nicely as he used to do. After this, another friend of mine who went to all of Noel's winter gigs shared what she got from tarot readings asking how she's seen by Noel. One of the lines said Noel was having a quarrel with his family members at that time when he didn't feel like interacting with the crowd that much. I mean usually the probability of the prediction being true rises when different predictions align with each other. In that case, we might want to conclude that they have already been talking to each other and even having quarrels. However, pls pls pls keep in mind that this is superstition and is only one possible explanation.
On the other hand, if someone's not a conspiracy believer or, for some reason, doesn't care about a reunion that much, this could be a different story. For example, someone I know who favours Noel over Liam and NGHFB over Oasis (uhh, the old boring fights) believes that they have been talking to each other since a long time ago, but their relationship stays shallow (only having Christmas dinner together, etc.). At that time I argued that, as long as Liam is involved in this, he wouldn't let their relationship be simply on a surface level. But again, I'm an Oasis fan and a gcest shipper and I don't know what the real Liam is like. I can only speak for myself.
That's all I can tell you so far. Sorry for saying this much, but your question is a good opportunity for me to reflect on my thoughts in the past year haha. After all, I think a lot of people like me do think we're witnessing something that we don't know what we're witnessing, and we want to be optimistic. But we're also tired of being baited again and again so we're suppressing and denying our thoughts at the same time. At the end of the day, all we need is love and all we have to do is to wait.
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usedpidemo · 3 years ago
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Update - one year anniversary (+ some reflection and future?)
Hello, everyone. π here.
It has been a full year since I've opened this blog and released my first fic. I can't believe it's already been a year; how time flies! Plenty of highs and lows in between, but at least I haven't quit—at least for now.
Like a bunch of sports analysts, let's go through some completely pedantic and arbitrary stats and milestones.
First work: Sandwich - Red Velvet Wendy (published 05/13/21, 4:03 a.m.)
Highest note count: Shot in the night - Blackpink Rosé (published 01/03/22, 471 notes)
Number of works published: 65 fics (1 fic every 5.6 days)
Average note count: 239.8 notes (15,587 accumulated notes)
500 followers: June 18, 2021 (36 days or 1 month, 5 days)
1,000 followers: October 12, 2021 (152 days or 4 months, 30 days)
1,500 followers: March 2, 2022 (294 days or 9 months, 22 days)
Follower count: 1,725 followers (4.7 followers a day)
None of this would be possible without you, the reader. Thank you so much for the continued support, whether it's a reblog, like, or the occasional comment. Here's to another year 🧡
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From this point on, I'll dive into a bit of a tangent about things I don't really discuss outside of important context, so this is your last warning if you don't want to pay attention to it. Also, I kinda need a reason to vent some frustration out, so enjoy.
Quality/Quantity
If you've noticed, I've published 65 works over the past year. That's one new fic every 5.6 days. Sure, it was the pandemic and all so I had plenty of free time and there were a bunch of quickies in between, but it's certainly no excuse for some of them to be absolute fucking duds. I find reading most of my earlier works extremely difficult, if not completely impossible, to reread. Whether it's grammar issues, typos, or simply a rushed concept, I look at most of my work from the beginning with utter contempt. Much like how David Fincher and David Lynch hate Alien 3 and Dune, respectively. Part of me wants to remove them just because I don't want to give you the misery of watching a newbie π figure things out like a child, but I'm sure someone already has my work archived and saved. Or not. For historical purposes, I have no intention to delete them off my site, so you can see the growth with each passing work. There's still plenty to learn and much to hone, but I'm certainly nowhere close to the ideal version of myself as a writer.
Confidence/Competitive issues
At the end of March 2022, I announced that I'd be taking a short break for mental health reasons. Truth is, it was more of a personal problem in regards as to how I perceive my work and compare it with others. This has always been an issue rooted even in my childhood days: I was ultra competitive as fuck. If I wasn't the best or one of the best, then why the fuck would I bother? Of course, I've mellowed down since, but you always want to stand out and have something distinct about you when you're under the microscope of others, and writing was no exception. The more I wrote and the more I read, I grew more desperate to evolve and adapt. I became obsessed. I was disappointed when something wasn't hitting my personal expectation or threshold, or when someone wrote an idol that was subjectively better than mine. I'll briefly clarify that I bear no personal grudges toward anyone, you're just doing you and I'm doing mine. Anyway, as the months rolled by, while I knew I was improving with gentle hops and skips, I saw that everyone else were making leaps and bounds with their abilities. I wasn't gonna catch up and I felt defeated. This ultimately lead to me becoming unnecessarily frustrated and depressed. Something I had fun with at the start turned into a poisonous relationship and soured my mind. I tried to play it off as a mood swing, but it was growing to the point where I no longer could simply hide it. So into hiatus it was, and I stepped away briefly in the hopes that I can rediscover myself all over again.
Cynicism
If you've been interacting with me on Discord, you'll notice the gradual change in how I look at myself and other things. The most obvious thing to point out is how often I joke about how shitty or terrible I am, to the point that I've been called out a few times about it. How am I supposed to be idealistic? You have to realize not everyone will share the same attitude regarding life as you. Of course, I'm not one to cause conflicts, so I've deflected my thoughts into a private echo chamber that only the few people I can trust can hear, but nevertheless, please understand that everyone has different ways to express frustration. The last year has been incredibly fucking tough for everyone and I was no exception. Loss of a loved one, stuck at home for months on end, crippling loneliness, and so much more. I turned to writing as a way to escape and vent, perhaps spark my childhood imagination to life again, and for the first time in a while, I felt validated and accepted. So I continued, hoping that perhaps I can reach the peak of greatness that those before me stand, but I still have a long way to go. But instead of figuring things out, I beat myself and became a defeatist, unintentionally affecting the people around me in a negative way.
Future
I'm pretty much on borrowed time. I've started college. Next semester, I'm going back to class, touching grass and actually making friends outside of a virtual space. I'm still awkward as fuck. Additionally, my interests tend to burn out like a dying star. Writing is no exception. I might grow sick and tired of this hobby and just ditch it, much like movies and modern Western pop music. But I'm not gonna let myself go out in a whimper. As much as I have a long term plan, plans tend to go awry in a moment. With that said, I hope that with whatever time I have left before it's consumed by studies as a top priority is spent well. Delete this will be completed. I have already constructed the full arc including the ending for the series, so please look forward to it. It's a series very dear to me; not only did it launch my blog high up to the stars, but also it's a piece of legacy that I can leave behind should I be called away prematurely. Other stuff I have in mind are more non-smut fics. I've always enjoyed storytelling through my love of film, so perhaps I can expend my repertoire to more diverse story content. And of course, become a better writer. My therapist gave me one really interesting piece of advice, "You're only as good as your latest work." I apologize if my body of work or style is not up to par with some of the others, but I am trying my best.
Ending
I don't really have anything cool to say to finish up this tangent, but I just want to take this opportunity to say thank you to everyone—especially the cool people I've met through Discord. You've been a huge godsend during these difficult times, and though I'm not vocal about it, please understand that I appreciate you. For providing encouragement, giving your ears whenever I vent, or answering my stupid or silly questions, I sincerely thank you. If I could repay you in kind, I would. Regardless of how you feel or think about me, let's continue to live together peacefully.
And of course, this is nothing without you, the reader, for checking out even a single word I've composed. Much love.
Grace be with you all,
Peter / π
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punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago
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Buster & Rio
Buster: Where's Nance? Rio: She was with your parents last I saw Rio: but that was a while ago so Buster: Typical Buster: Oldest trick in the book for when she doesn't wanna talk to me Rio: Can't imagine why Buster: 'Course you can't Rio: 🙄 Buster: Yeah, like I was saying, always a pleasure Rio: Where? Buster: Exactly Rio: Hm Rio: I'll tell her you're looking for her, I guess Buster: Don't Buster: She'll find a new hiding place Rio: What have you done then? Buster: Cheers Buster: Really nice of you to assume it's all my fault Rio: you aren't the one hiding Buster: I'm not a pussy Buster: If something needs to get said, I'll say it Rio: That's why she's hiding then, I imagine Buster: I didn't ask you why, just where Rio: is it that pressing? Buster: What 'cause I'm gonna ruin all the fun she's having? Buster: You've got the wrong sister there, babe Rio: well it sounds like it Buster: I don't need your permission Rio: Why do you need to be a dick? Buster: To her or to you? Rio: Her, obviously Rio: It's not that deep Buster: I'm not being a dick to her Buster: I was last night, which is why I wanna talk to her Rio: Oh, so you wanna apologize Rio: you can't force her to accept it, probably wait for her to come out from wherever she is Buster: Did I say that? Buster: I've got nothing to be sorry for Rio: For God's sake Rio: I forgot how tiring you were Buster: It ain't my fault its been years since you've been able to keep up with me Rio: Please Rio: your memory is as selective as your participation Buster: Your memory is as unreliable as your mum's baby daddys Rio: I don't need this from you today Buster: Name a day you do need it, I'll check my calendar, like Rio: You're so unfunny Buster: I ain't the entertainment Buster: You wish Rio: Neither is my family Rio: sorry to disappoint Buster: It's alright, like I said, I'm used to you disappointing me Buster: Ancient history Rio: Heartbreaking Buster: It makes no odds to me if you can't hold your nerve, drink or your head high Buster: That's your problem Rio: None of which you'd know anything about Rio: you're the only one here with a problem, obviously Buster: Which one of us are you trying to convince? Buster: Either way, I'd work harder at it if I were you Rio: like permission, I definitely don't need your advice Rio: there's no need for conviction, you don't like me, I don't like you, it's simple Buster: There's every need for conviction when it's the pretence you're actually tired of Buster: I understand putting the one, big, happy family spin on things for the kids but we ain't that and you ain't supposed to buy into your own bullshit Buster: You don't wanna be here, don't put that on me Rio: Don't project your bullshit onto me Rio: You wouldn't know, because you don't, but I turn up to events Buster: Just own yours Buster: I know 'cause I can still read you, neither of us have to like it, but it's true Rio: Just leave me alone Rio: don't think about me Buster: Don't cry, you'll fuck up the photos Rio: You wish Buster: You wish I cared Rio: yeah Rio: pleasure, right Buster: [brings her a drink like drown your sorrows but doesn't stick around cos rude hoe] Rio: [gives it to her mans like no thank you] Buster: [LOL love that power move] Rio: [has to be done] Buster: [also how awkward that her man is at this fam function, please don't be cringe Caleb] Rio: [at least you're the least bothered in that sense, you know you bomb enough] Buster: [and you're your dad's fave too so best behaviour with you] Rio: [hopefully you're not looking as messy by this age sir] Buster: [good lord I hope not you'll be the one ruining those photos if you are] Rio: [just put him on the side so you can crop him out] Buster: [#mood and defs crop out shit nan] Rio: [she'll be on fine form, everyone hide she lives to shade] Buster: [Grace just crying cos she only a bab and she already getting shaded] Rio: [no prisoners baby] Buster: [no offense Meena but none of us are living rn] Rio: [soz your wedding is tense] Buster: [thank god there's not loads of them] Rio: [we been derailed though you two think of a flimsy excuse to talk again] Buster: [is Gus still alive or nah that's my last question I promise] Rio: [nah, if we said OG he died when Pablo, that's 22, so a year before the twins are born] Buster: [sad times] Rio: [okay so later, like a time that you've both had to be on it with the drinks etc] Rio: you find her? Buster: No Rio: you still want to? Buster: Forget it Buster: She wants to stay mad Rio: don't you approve of that though Buster: Of martyrdom? Fuck that Rio: nah Rio: being angry, doing your own thing Buster: If that was what she was doing Rio: well, she's with June, obviously Rio: but they seemed content enough Buster: Whatever Rio: Whatever then Rio: enjoy the remaining festivities Buster: Obviously Rio: not been that bad Rio: my nan thinks you're SO impressive, know you love that Buster: Compared to what? St Paddy's? Christmas? My 10th birthday? Buster: I know I'm impressive, I could give a fuck what she thinks Rio: What was wrong with your 10th birthday? Buster: What's wrong with any of them? It was just an example Rio: it sounded like some deep trauma you should repress is all Rio: maybe I already had, idk Buster: I can afford a good therapist, it'll be fine Rio: Yippee Buster: You don't have to lose any sleep over me, babe Buster: Dreams aside Rio: You've been working on your jokes Rio: glad you've spent your time wisely Buster: 'Course you are Buster: So invested in my success, yeah? Rio: Sure Rio: not that I spend enough time laughing at jokes that aren't funny without needlessly indulging you too or anything Buster: Dump your boyfriend then Buster: He's got fuck all going for him if he ain't funny Rio: How do you know I'm talking about him? Buster: Educated guess Buster: 'Cause I am Rio: Well you're wrong Rio: and my dad really isn't that funny Rio: or he thinks I'm still five Buster: I ain't wrong that he looks like he has to sign his name with a cross Buster: And I could've told you that, about your dad Rio: You're just being rude with no basis for it, but I'm not after help with my homework even if he was that thick so what would it matter Rio: I'm sure Rio: why didn't you offer you unnecessary, 'expert' opinion this time then? Buster: I have a solid basis for your lack of standards, but fair point, it doesn't really matter to me Buster: And 'cause you can't even accept my offer of a drink Rio: if high standards means being here alone, you can have it Rio: it wasn't an offer, it was parallel to assault with a 🍹 Buster: If you're that scared to be alone, I'll see you in the shrink's chair once we've given it at least a couple more years to let the trauma accumulate Buster: You never used to be so afraid of everything Rio: I'm no more scared of being alone than you're scared to be with someone Rio: what else am I meant to be afraid of? Buster: Other than acting like I threw a glass of straight brandy in your face? Rio: You weren't trying to give me a drink, you were trying to prove a point you didn't have Buster: Let's not pretend you have any idea what my motivations are/were/could be at any particular point in time Rio: I'd have to join in the delusion you aren't transparent first and honestly Rio: not got the time Buster: 'Cause you don't Buster: 'Course* Rio: Be well busy teaching my boyfriend to read and write, apparently Buster: There's so many delusions it must be necessary to maintain in order to just be with him that neither of us have the time to list them all Rio: It doesn't really matter to you, remember? Buster: Cheers for the reminder Rio: You're so welcome Buster: I feel it Buster: Your nan has such a welcoming vibe Rio: No doubt ⭐ boy Rio: try being your sister, or my brother Buster: She loves it Rio: Judging like God gave her the go ahead? Rio: I know Buster: I meant Nance loves a chance to play the victim, but yeah that too Rio: She'll be over it 'fore the night is out Buster: Don't underestimate her Rio: Yeah, that's me Buster: Well, everyone knows the opposite is reserved for your boyfriends Rio: I highly doubt anyone but you is thinking about it at all Buster: If that idea brings you comfort, you can have it Rio: How generous Buster: Why are you wearing that? Rio: What do you mean? Buster: It's a simple enough question Rio: Too simple for words Rio: because it's a wedding Rio: what else would I wear? Buster: I'm not your stylist Rio: then don't act like it Buster: I ain't Rio: Maybe I don't like what you're wearing Rio: you don't have to announce every thought in your head Buster: I didn't express an opinion, I asked a question Rio: I know what you're saying Buster: No you don't Rio: Then tell me Buster: You've already made it clear that you don't want me to Rio: That's why I asked you to Buster: I don't have to announce every thought in my head, remember? Rio: Fine Rio: well I'm not going home to change, can you handle that? Buster: What if I can't? Rio: I know you can Buster: Fine Rio: Do you want a drink? Buster: Are you gonna throw it at me? Rio: I've got manners Buster: Shame Rio: 😏 Rio: if you're missing playing, there's room at the kid's table Buster: I'm gutted that you don't wanna play a game with me, that doesn't mean you get to push your luck that far Rio: You don't seem like you're in a playful mood Buster: What mood do I seem like I'm in? Rio: So I can't read your motivations anymore but I can still read your moods? Buster: Come on Rio: You seem Rio: annoyed Rio: uncomfortable, like the rest of us Buster: Is that you finally admitting that you're uncomfortable? Rio: I never said I was having the BEST time Buster: Alright, let's have that drink then Rio: as far as non-solutions go Rio: one of the better Buster: You know me well enough to know if it ain't the best, I ain't interested Rio: That's why you ain't brought a plus one, yeah Buster: Yeah Rio: You seem bored too Buster: You don't have to read my mind for that one, it's just common sense Rio: So I'll get you that drink Buster: Cheers Rio: Slainte Rio: [gonna have you get waylaid by your dad and Drew at the bar] Buster: [when you come and literally drag her away from them when you realise cos you don't have to read her mind there either] Rio: [we all know Drew's already getting lowkey creepy at this age, never mind any dad angst or embarrassment 'thanks' as you awkwardly give him his drink] Buster: [when it's been so long since they've touched each other that he can't even speak so just gotta shake his head for that don't cos he didn't do it for the thanks] Rio: ['you already said it for the drink' and a shrug that you can barely keep steady and even because being this close to him but we're pretending this is very casual 'we're even'] Buster: [a shrug that exactly mirrors hers for that beautiful cinematography and matching mood but forcing that eye contact cos gotta pretend you're unfazed] Rio: [maintaining it long enough to take the first sip of your drink, then going to walk away again] Buster: [putting his hand on her wrist just like he did a second ago when he dragged her away from that delightful pair because we've started something now] Rio: [looking down at his hand on your wrist because you cannot] Buster: [unhanding her because you know you have to not because you want to] Rio: ['enjoy, yeah?' and looking back up as you go] Buster: [just staring at her nbd and nothing to see here people] Rio: [a shameless moment whilst you walk back to this boy] Buster: [excuse you sir] Rio: [like so soz her level of investment in you has plummeted rn] Buster: [I'm dying because this lad is probably saying something to her and does she care? NOPE] Rio: [tryna have your own moment like hold up] Buster: [Ava as the only other person he gives a fuck about at this whole function/in the world you've gotta distract him so he doesn't go over there/do something stupid] Rio: [at least you're 8 and will have no qualms in doing so] Buster: [have a cute moment between yourselves so he calms down] Rio: [ask him to dance or something] Buster: [you gotta] Rio: [not that this will help her, just sneakily looking how cute they are] Buster: [just casually reminding her of what a sweet boy he used to be when they were younger] Rio: [and he's good with kids which is so important to you for obvious reasons] Buster: [omg it makes so much sense why they have so many kids now even more than before] Rio: [mhmm Buster: [we is so clever] Rio: [the cleverest] Buster: What mood am I in now? Rio: A much better one Rio: even if you'd like to deny it Buster: I'm not about to deny it, she's the best thing my parents have ever done and you heard what I said that means for my interest Rio: It's nice Buster: I'm capable of nice Buster: It just suits everyone to forget it, including you Rio: I've never said you weren't Rio: it suits you for people to forget, anyway, if you wanted it otherwise, you'd remind them more often Buster: Not tonight, there'll have been others though Buster: Yeah, like I said, it suits everyone Rio: My memory isn't selective Rio: this night or any other Buster: Call it whatever you like Buster: The end result is the same Rio: No it isn't Buster: Tell me how it's any different Rio: I still have memories Rio: that you can't do fuck all about Buster: Memories that make no fucking difference to now Rio: That's your opinion Buster: It's a fact Buster: There isn't a single one you could share with me now or vice versa that would lead to our reconciliation Rio: because we don't want it Buster: 'Cause it's bullshit Buster: It might as well have happened to someone else for all the relevance it has to who I am Rio: Yeah, because you don't want it to make a difference Rio: that's what I said Buster: Yeah, you're the expert on what I want Rio: Don't need to be, that's what you're saying as well Buster: What I'm saying is that it doesn't matter, it's not about whether I want it to or not Rio: Fine Buster: There are loads of things that have a bearing on my day to day live and how it looks going forward, and like it or not, all the summers I wasted here with you as a kid ain't one of 'em, oddly enough Buster: *life Rio: as I said, WE don't want it to matter Rio: so, unsurprisingly, I don't care Buster: Say it like you mean it Buster: You're supposed to kill your darlings, babe, not give 'em the one punch and call it quits Rio: Whatever, have you sufficiently proved to yourself how un-nice you can be too now or? Buster: It's about what you don't wanna prove to yourself though, more than anything else Buster: You're scared if you really hurt me, you'll like it Buster: And you don't want that 'cause you do care, even if it's only for the me in your memories Rio: I'm not scared of that, or to admit I care, because I'm not a sociopath Rio: we're related, like it or not Buster: I'm not a sociopath just 'cause I don't like the fact we're related Rio: You'll get over it Buster: You're supposed to say, 'nah you're a sociopath 'cause....' I've probably got loads of the traits you could pick from Buster: But since you didn't, what if I can't? Rio: I don't think you are one, your narcissistic trait will take that blow hard, I know Rio: There's no choice Rio: I've got plenty of relatives I like less than you, as you're aware Rio: they don't just go away, even if you try to Buster: There are always choices and there are always gonna be relatives I like less than you Buster: But Rio, what if I can't get over this? Rio: Don't take the piss Buster: I mean it, you know I do Rio: Then you know I don't have an answer Buster: You have to if I don't Rio: The only way blood doesn't matter is if the person fucks up so spectacularly you can disown them Rio: even then, not really Rio: so yeah, have some kids you don't want, acquire a drug habit that you do Buster: I've got the latter, I can't say it's especially helping Rio: not really though Rio: just at parties, yeah Buster: You don't have to worry about me Rio: I'm not, just asked a question Buster: I go to parties all the time so it's hardly an occasional thing, but alright, to answer your question, yeah Rio: everyone does though, like Rio: that's alright, that's normal Buster: Only you would find a way to be insulting and reassuring at the same time Rio: Yeah, I'm well sorry if you thought you and your friends were unique Buster: Not those cunts, just me Rio: That's very nice Buster: So are they Rio: Why are you friends with them? Buster: If not those cunts then a bunch of others Rio: But I'm afraid to be alone? Buster: [a big Fearghal style loud lol] Buster: Touché Rio: [shaking her head like 😏] Buster: You reckon I should be more like Nance then, yeah? Isolate myself and pretend human connection is unneccessary Rio: Obviously not Rio: No one wants to be alone Buster: No one's good enough for me, babe Buster: You were the first to prove it Rio: Fuck off Rio: you so obviously fit right in with your friends, that's the truth Buster: I give it 110% same as everything else Rio: I never had any doubt Buster: Good Rio: Even if I had, your socials leave little to be desired in the twat factor Buster: And yet, you can't look away Rio: if you think a car crash is aspirational Buster: You may be one of my poor relations, that doesn't make me a poster boy Buster: Find your own access to high society, Eliza Rio: I'm not your anything Rio: and I've got no interest in that either Buster: Well done then, on both counts Rio: Bye now Buster: For now Rio: Unfortunately Buster: Fuck off Rio: excuse you? Buster: Lie better or don't bother Rio: You can pretend I'm just devastated to see you go, if it makes you happy Buster: That isn't something I need to pretend Rio: There you go, head in the ☁s again Rio: you're welcome Buster: You wish Buster: Stop daydreaming about me, the nights are already so fucking long Rio: You're lucky I don't tell people how weird you are Buster: Go ahead Rio: You think I won't Buster: I dare you Rio: Don't Buster: I double dare you Rio: You know I can't Rio: no one would believe just how weird you are Buster: You can do anything you want, you just have to want it more than you care about what the consequences are/could be Rio: I'm sure they'd just put you in very expensive therapy Buster: And I wouldn't have to see you any more Rio: That's what you want then Buster: Don't you? Rio: I already said, there are people I dislike more around Buster: You know there's only so many boyfriends you can parade in front of me before I kill one Rio: You're not going to kill anyone, you're not a sociopath, remember Rio: and I'm not parading anyone, they're just there Buster: Just saying, like Buster: You might wanna reconsider your rankings Buster: And I didn't say I wouldn't feel guilt or whatever else Rio: Of course you wanna be on top Buster: You don't want me to be? Rio: Why would I want that, Buster? Buster: You know why Rio: Not when me and all the wasted Summers as kids are nothing but a footnote Buster: Don't Rio: You said it Buster: What would you rather I said? Buster: Tell me Rio: Not every thought in my head Buster: Come on Rio: What do you want me to say? Buster: A thought in your head, not every Rio: Alright Rio: you're pretty drunk, that's what I'm thinking Buster: I'm not that drunk, if that's what's stopping you Rio: I could say more if you were Buster: I'll find some brandy, you can say it at my funeral Rio: Things aren't that dire, come on Rio: they're quite a sweet couple Buster: If you say so Rio: you don't think so? Buster: I don't know what kind of couple they are Buster: I barely know them Rio: Yeah but it's a nice story Rio: very boy/girl next door romcom Buster: Knowing what you want in the first place is a better story Buster: They wasted years they could've been together Rio: They might not have been right for each other before Buster: If you're right for each other then you are Buster: You do whatever it takes Rio: Maybe Rio: sometimes you can't Buster: They were the only things stopping themselves Rio: So you can't be happy for them? Buster: I didn't say I wasn't Rio: You still want a supermodel wife then Buster: I don't care what she does, it's not about that Rio: What is it about Buster: What she's like, obviously Rio: You have grown up Buster: It's what happens, yeah Buster: Unless you die Rio: Cheery Buster: I told you, I ain't the entertainment Rio: Alright Buster: Don't marry him Rio: I'm not marrying anyone Buster: Ever? Rio: I mean right now, we're 14, for God's sake Buster: You can't marry him now, I'm saying don't marry him when you're old enough to Rio: we've not been going out long Rio: who knows where I'll be or with who when I even think about that Buster: You fancied him back then though, when I was gonna marry a supermodel Buster: I know you did Rio: that's not what I was trying to say with Rio: I don't think I'll marry him Rio: it's just nice for the people it happens to Rio: like your mum and dad too Buster: Probably use an alternative word to nice if you say anything about it to them Rio: I wasn't planning to Rio: not got a deathwish Buster: [😏] Buster: It wouldn't be very cheery, having one Rio: Doesn't mean I'm the entertainment Rio: just polite Buster: Just as well, polite isn't entertaining Rio: If I wanted to entertain you, I could Buster: But you don't Rio: don't I Buster: Do you? Rio: be well weird if I wanted to, wouldn't it Buster: Depends who you ask Rio: You're the only one in this chat Rio: but not in the room Buster: Rio Rio: yes Buster: Do you wanna dance with me or not? Rio: We could do that Rio: that wouldn't be weird Buster: [comes over and we back on that wrist holding bullshit because of course we are, like you could just let her walk over to wherever you're gonna dance but no] Buster: [stop pulling her around boy you'll give yourself away] Rio: [we all know she's so shamelessly #intoit so good luck keeping this casual] Buster: [remember where you are and that your whole family is here please] Rio: [we know we're starting with a pretense of dancing 'near' each other but just keep 'accidentally' touching and getting closer] Buster: [shamelessly love that] Rio: [like you can't outright slow dance can you even if you really wanna] Buster: [we'll let you at the party but there's no chance of getting away with it in front of the fam unless you somehow did a Twilight prom moment outside lol] Rio: [wish some of these kids would take the initiative to 'force' you to like you're getting fake married lmao] Buster: [@Grace it's your time to shine babe] Rio: [god bless] Buster: [realistically her boyfriend is probably gonna appear to dance with her properly and Buster is gonna be livid] Rio: [sadly, yes, neither of us are thrilled but can't be like no I would rather keep dancing with my cousin so, just sadly watching him go over your mans shoulder] Buster: [he has to go punch something that's not this dude's face] Rio: [don't blame you] Buster: [please don't hurt yourself boy, I know you don't care but it is a wedding thank you] Rio: [at the very least, you don't want the drama of the whole fam being like what happened why etc etc] Buster: [genau dr phil] Rio: [even later, like, Tommy and Meena have pissed off time, which is so weird about traditional weddings] Rio: where are you Buster: Why? Rio: just asking Rio: i wanna know Buster: Well don't Rio: sorry Buster: Where's he? I wanna know Rio: he went home a while ago Rio: paper round in the morning Buster: He's tall for a 10 year old Rio: alright Rio: you can have that one on the house Buster: Why can't he get a real job? He's old enough Buster: Older than you Rio: I don't know Rio: doesn't want one, doesn't need one Rio: his family are minted Buster: Who the fuck doesn't want one? Rio: Are you gonna get one? Rio: he's focusing on school, like Buster: What's he focusing on a paper round for too then, cardio? Rio: Probably Rio: why are we even talking about this, it's so boring Buster: Why are you even going out with him, if he's so boring? Rio: do you actually want to know, really Buster: Yeah I do Rio: 'cos it's easy, simple, straightforward Buster: Jesus Christ Rio: what Buster: What do you mean, what? Buster: Can you hear yourself Rio: There's literally nothing wrong with that Buster: If you're a divorced mother of two looking to get back out there Buster: Instead of like, the hottest girl I've ever seen Rio: you can't say that Buster: I can say whatever the fuck I want Buster: I can't do anything Rio: you're Rio: this is a headfuck Buster: It always has been Rio: I know Buster: Yeah Rio: that's why we need easy Buster: Fuck that Rio: fine, be better than me Buster: There is no better than you Rio: Buster Rio: just Buster: I don't care Buster: It's true Rio: we can't do anything with this Rio: what do we do Buster: You should know anyway Buster: How I feel and how I don't Rio: you aren't as good a liar as you'd like Rio: you can't just talk away this, or one of us would've Buster: I mean you should hear it from me Buster: Instead of all the bullshit you have to Rio: okay Rio: I'm listening Buster: When I see you I can barely stay standing but when I don't, I can't fucking breathe Buster: If I was anyone else I wouldn't win the fight, it'd get called off Rio: I miss you, like, I always miss you, since we were little Buster: It's just constant Buster: Everyone acts like it's meant to get better, or worse Rio: we should've grown out of it by now Rio: probably Buster: Don't Rio: I can't Rio: and I don't think I want to, even if I could Buster: I know what I want, I'm not a kid Rio: you want a lot of things Rio: if we Rio: that could fuck up all the rest Buster: Yeah Rio: but Rio: do you ever feel like Rio: if we did, it'd be less obvious somehow Rio: I feel as blatant as you say I am Buster: I don't reckon it could be any more obvious, whatever we do Buster: Is that why your boyfriend left? Rio: Sort of Rio: he wanted me to go with him but I didn't feel like it Rio: for obvious reasons Buster: I'm not sorry Rio: I know you aren't Rio: I don't need you to be either Buster: What do you need from me then? Rio: I want you Rio: to admit you want me too Buster: You said I want loads of things, but none of them matter as much as you Rio: what if no one would talk to us again Buster: I'll talk to you and you'll talk to me Rio: promise Rio: you can't ignore me Buster: You're right, I can't Rio: you do though Rio: so don't Buster: I swear Rio: okay Buster: It will be okay Rio: when have you ever been okay with okay Buster: Touché Buster: Fine, it'll be the best Rio: it would be though Buster: I know Rio: think about it Buster: I've been thinking about it for days Buster: I went to a party last night to try and stop Rio: did it work Buster: 'Course not Buster: I don't want it enough Rio: I don't want him enough Rio: I said it's easy Rio: but it's the opposite, actually Rio: on paper, it should be but when I actually have to do it Buster: You don't live on paper Buster: And you don't have to be with him Rio: we have to try, don't we Buster: We have Rio: how is just seeing you better than anything anyone else has ever done Buster: I'm better than anyone else Rio: you just want me to say it back Buster: That's not why I said it, but obviously you will, when I prove it to you Rio: I wish Buster: [a location that a wedding guest should not remotely be like an office or storage closet or whatever where he's been] Rio: have you been there this whole time Buster: Why is that all you've got to say to me? Rio: You know I'm coming Rio: I started this conversation asking where you were Buster: How long ago did he leave? Rio: not long after Tommy and Meena did Rio: whenever that was Buster: You just wanted to keep me waiting then Rio: that's not what I want at all Buster: Good Rio: you know what I want, yeah? Buster: I know exactly what you want Rio: and you're gonna give it to me, right? Buster: I'm gonna give you everything Buster: Including things you didn't know you wanted Rio: Jesus Buster: Rio Rio: you can say that out loud for me Rio: we've not been that alone in Rio: forever, maybe Buster: We've never been this alone Rio: it's weird Rio: how many memories I have that feel like just me and you Rio: but they couldn't have been, really Buster: 'Cause that's how we wanted it Rio: bit mean, really Rio: but I'm always with my brother and sisters Buster: I don't care Rio: it's hard to, right now Rio: and then Rio: you were more fun Buster: I still am Rio: you can prove that Rio: if I ever escape everyone trying to stop and talk to me Buster: Don't make me have to come and get you Buster: We may have been blatant but we can't be stupid Rio: I know Rio: even if you did make that sound really tempting Rio: unfair Buster: I'll do it, I just want you to know that I know it's not a good idea Rio: I'll be good Rio: but only in a fun way, obviously Buster: You don't have fuck all to prove to me, you know that, yeah? Rio: yeah Rio: a bit though Buster: I'm serious Buster: You've never been boring, not even close Rio: I'm still gonna make this the best you've ever Buster: It will be 'cause it's you Rio: I need you to feel how badly I want you Buster: I've wanted you for so long Rio: how long Rio: tell me Buster: Come on Buster: You know it's always been you Rio: remind me Buster: Any girl I've ever touched, I've never even wanted to unless I'm thinking about you Rio: I can't stop my brain from thinking about you Rio: how much better it would be if it was you Rio: how much I'd rather Buster: Don't stop thinking about me Buster: If this is the only chance we get or if it's not Buster: Whatever happens, whatever I say or do when I sober up Rio: I can't anyway Rio: even if you were the worst person in the world Buster: I have been a cunt Buster: I'm sorry Rio: forget about it Rio: me too Rio: we know why Buster: No, listen Rio: but it's okay Buster: It's not okay Buster: I love you Rio: you can't just take all this back Rio: just 'cos we're drunk Buster: It'll still be how I feel whether I'm drunk or not Rio: I mean you know I'm not going to forget Buster: Good, don't Buster: I'm in love with you Rio: I've imagined you saying that Rio: so many times Buster: It's real now Buster: I mean, it always has been real for me, but I'm actually saying it, no takebacks Rio: [gonna have you turn up now] Buster: [how obviously he would've trashed whatever this room is when he was mad and sad lol] Rio: [just looking at the room then at him 'cos we doing this] Buster: [using whatever to block the door because you haven't waited this long to risk getting interrupted however unlikely that is given how long he's been in there and how far away they are from the wedding shit] Rio: [gonna say it's an office type moment so it can be a desk and you can hop up on that] Buster: [because your height difference is ridiculous and also that's a mood] Rio: ['is this really happening?'] Buster: [kissing her really intensely so she knows it is and let's take a moment to appreciate and contrast that to their awkward childish first one and die] Rio: [when you'd be dying because how good it is confirms everything like oh shit] Buster: [we know it'd be the same for him so thank god you don't have to worry about being quiet because he is the loudest character we have lol] Rio: [if there was ever a time and a place for a first time moment tbh] Buster: [love it for you guys even though he's gonna have to tell her to take off her own dress so he doesn't rip it cos we that extra and peeps would notice that however drunk and oblivious they have been thusfar] Rio: [when you're so 😍 about that though] Buster: [no chill ever gotta start as you mean to go on] Rio: [likewise, just taking the opportunity to tell him everything you ain't been allowed in between kisses] Buster: [same cos he's already dropped the L word before she even got there so we know he can't shut his damn mouth] Rio: [there's no way she ain't saying it back in person] Buster: [I'm the opposite of mad about it] Rio: [when you can't pretend you don't, like it's just all out there now you've started, tomorrow will be interesting] Buster: [good lord I hope at least you can manage to keep the bruises to a minimum/out of sight of the boyfriend she still has because yeah there's gonna be enough to deal with] Rio: [good luck with that lmao] Buster: [gurl you gonna have to work some makeup magic we all know it] Rio: [or just avoid him like we know you wanna] Buster: [please dump him asap though] Rio: [we clearly are and it'll probably be messy 'cos thinks you've liked him for ages and like yeah you been cute but also not really] Buster: [soz boy but also not soz boy] Rio: [you'll survive honey] Buster: [but for them what is the craic like are y'all gonna stay barricaded in here forever or go back to the reception like nothing happened or go home like you have not thought this through] Rio: [you can probably stay in here 'til one of your parents texts like excuse me where are you, and that'll probably be to go home] Buster: [realistically Baze will wanna go home before Ali cos her and Tommy are besties and baze are antisocial bastards lol] Rio: [exactly dr phil, when you just both gotta think about that like okay] Buster: [giving her his jacket cos 1. he wants her to have it because this may never happen again/all the reminders as if you haven't literally left bruises boy please 2. nobody would question why he doesn't have it/she does because the state of them all and the fact it's not an inherently coupley thing to do necessarily 3. if she had to she could say it was her boyfriends because he is also a rich boy and boys suits lowkey always look the same unless you go wild with it 4. that'll give her a reason to have to see him again/strike up a convo which he obvs wants and so do we] Rio: [1. yes 2. yes 3. yes 4. yes that is all, do we wanna have any more drunk chatting 'cos easily could or do we wanna skip to the AM] Buster: [I think we should to show they're not like instantly regretting/ignoring each other cos that's not the mood like all the goodbye kisses as soon as he realises he can't just ignore the fam/actually has to go would be EVERYTHING] Rio: [truly, hence he's barely out the door and] Rio: I miss you Buster: I love you Rio: I love you a lot Buster: I love you more than anything else Rio: You're making me so happy Buster: Good Rio: I wish I coulda gone with you Buster: You are coming with me, just not in person Rio: Yeah, I know Rio: I just like you best in person Buster: I'll see you tomorrow Rio: What are we doing? Buster: Whatever you want Rio: you then, cool 😋 Rio: might be willing to make a more detailed plan in the AM, see how I feel Buster: I'm fine with plan A Rio: It'd be really beyond awkward if you were regretting it already Rio: so I'm glad to hear it Buster: Being forced to leave, not doing it sooner, how I've treated you for the past however fucking long, that shit is what I regret Rio: We'll find time to make up for the lost now Rio: you're here for a bit, yeah? Buster: Yeah Rio: Good Rio: it won't be that hard to find time and opportunity to be alone somewhere Rio: can't force family fun on us constantly Rio: they'll be recovering from this majority of the time Buster: They can't force fuck all on me, I came 'cause I wanted to see you Rio: Well, I'm very glad you did Buster: Me too Rio: I swear I'm dreaming Buster: You're not, babe Buster: I can still taste you Rio: Fuck Rio: that makes me weak Buster: Everything you do makes me weak Buster: Just as well you can't tell anyone, like Rio: Who, me? 😏 Rio: I'd rather it was just for me anyway Buster: Yeah, you Buster: You know exactly what you're doing Buster: That dress, for example Rio: If you're going to ignore me, I have to make sure it's as hard as it is for me to ignore you Rio: the smallest but only victory I reckoned available to me Buster: I understand not reckoning I was gonna rip it off you but don't sell yourself too short Rio: so, you're only human, and everyone's looking Rio: but you know I wore it for you Buster: I do, so just this once I'll forgive you for saying I'm only human Rio: 😂 Rio: we can brainstorm what I can call you instead then Buster: Like, if you were disappointed in any of what I just did, you could've just said so Buster: Don't have to humble me that hard Rio: Oh, please Rio: you know what you just did Rio: and that I've not recovered, can't see it happening any time soon Buster: It's taken me years to try and recover from the first time we kissed, I'm not sure you'll find me that sympathetic, given that I never did succeed Rio: I get it, I'm not sorry for that either Rio: even if I should be Rio: only sorry we didn't do it more than once Buster: I should've kissed you every day after that Rio: You should've Buster: You know failure isn't an option for me though Rio: It wasn't a failure Buster: It wasn't good enough, that's the same thing Rio: it still made me feel Rio: everything Buster: But you're flawless, it needed to be perfect Rio: I wasn't any better, it was both our first time Rio: how could you have done any better, at, how old were we even Buster: If I hadn't been a pussy about it then it would've been better Rio: well, I still thought about it every time I touched myself after so Rio: I'm not mad about it Buster: Jesus, don't say shit like that when I can't touch myself at the thought of you doing it, you're supposed to be the one with good manners Rio: but you like it when I forget them Buster: Yeah but there's a time and a place and it's not right now in this car with my entire family Rio: 🤐 Rio: sorry Buster: No you're not Rio: I could be persuaded to be Rio: but I like thinking about it a lot, so it'll take a lot Buster: Tell me Rio: Tell you how much it'll take or how much I like thinking about it and exactly what Buster: Tell me what you like to think about and I'll decide if I want you to be sorry or not Rio: What haven't I thought about you, that's an easier question Rio: all the things I want you to do to me, everything I'm going to do for you Buster: Your boyfriend gives you easy, I know what you actually need Rio: you do Rio: you're better than a boyfriend Buster: I told you, I'm better than anyone Buster: Except you Rio: I'll show you that I know Buster: So how many of 'em did I do, these things you want? Rio: I'm pretty perverted Rio: we won't run out of scenarios or settings any time soon Buster: Is that a promise? Rio: Yes Rio: if you want it to be Buster: I want you here but I'll take that Rio: tomorrow Rio: I'm going to be so desperate for you Buster: Fuck that, I'll call you when I get back Rio: You know I'll still be at this party Buster: So go back to where we were Rio: Tell me when you're back, if I go now I won't be able to wait for you Buster: You don't have to wait for me Rio: I do Rio: I want you to fuck me and yourself at the same time Buster: Have I fallen asleep? Buster: I've definitely had this dream Rio: if you were asleep, I could make you cum Rio: can't be blamed for a wet dream Buster: If I'm not, I'll pretend to be Buster: Only my mum and dad aren't Rio: do you know how to be quiet though, babe Buster: I can do anything Rio: then can you think about me being there with you in the car Rio: tell me how you want me Buster: If you're on my lap I can be quiet Rio: I'll have a lot more bruises to show for it Rio: but I want that Buster: Any sounds I did end up making would only be for you to hear, I know you want that too Rio: They are just for me Buster: They haven't always been, our neighbours have definitely heard me before, but now they are Buster: And they're always 'cause of you Rio: I love how loud you are Rio: I wanna hear it more Buster: Tomorrow Rio: but for now, I can make noise for the both of us Buster: Yeah, be really loud for me Rio: I will Rio: though if I'm on your lap you'll have to try and make me quiet Buster: It's okay, I'll give you my fingers to suck, it'll keep you so quiet Rio: 🥺😳🤤 Rio: please Buster: Say it again Rio: Buster, please Rio: I want you inside me in every way possible at once Rio: you can't be close enough Buster: Fuck Rio: I can almost feel it Buster: Tell me what it feels like Rio: like I can't breathe, can't think, like all I can feel is what you're doing to my pussy, how fucking good it feels Buster: But you can feel what you're doing to me too, can't you? Rio: Of course, how could I not Rio: you're really big Buster: And everyone moves loads in their sleep Buster: I can't be blamed for that either Rio: Not at all Rio: and I can't be blamed that there's no room in the car but on you Buster: 'Course not Rio: though obviously, I wouldn't want a seat if there was one Buster: Obviously, you want what I want Rio: you know I don't have any underwear on, don't you Buster: I can tell Buster: It's allowed to be the one thing you're allowed to make easy, I reckon Rio: I can't help but be easy for you Rio: if you don't like it, you'll have to teach me a lesson Buster: You're so wet that you can easily take all of me but that's my fault, not yours, I can't help doing things that I know you'll really like Buster: Or that I want to give you everything Rio: I'm ready for you, daddy Buster: You love me, yeah? Rio: I love you so much Rio: you're just Rio: you're mine, aren't you? Buster: I'm yours and you're mine Rio: I'm all yours Rio: for always Buster: Forever Buster: It's always been me and you and that's never gonna change Rio: Promise Rio: I need you to stay with me Buster: I'll swear on whatever you want me to Buster: You know I need you more Rio: I'll believe you, because the alternative is not and I can't handle that Rio: I want this so badly, however we make it happen and work Buster: You can trust me Buster: Whatever it takes, I'll literally do anything for you Buster: There's never been a time when I wouldn't have Rio: Don't leave me again, okay Rio: I'm too happy right now Buster: There are no words good enough, I'll prove that I'm not going to with my actions though, okay? Rio: Okay Rio: I do trust you, really, and I do know, knew, how you felt this whole time, really Rio: it's just a headfuck how fast we've gone from the pretense to none at all Buster: I can't remember wanting to go anywhere without you, not for a single day from when my memory starts Buster: It was a headfuck how much of my life revolved around being with you or wishing I could be Buster: But I'm not a kid any more, I'm not scared Buster: And nobody can tell me what to do Rio: I thought I could make your life better, and mine too, I won't pretend it was entirely selfless, if we kept as much distance as possible Rio: that those thoughts and feelings would go away, that it'd be better for you to hate me, even if that fucking killed me Rio: but it just, didn't work, nothing was better Rio: lots of shit was much worse, and I missed you like hell Buster: I know Buster: I've been able to do everything I've ever decided I wanted to and loads of things I just had to, really fucking well, except not love you Rio: you can love me now Rio: shouldn't I be the only person who's say so matters Rio: I want you to Rio: and to love you back Buster: You're the only person who matters to me like that, end of story Rio: we'd be good together Rio: everyone would think so if things were different Buster: You were my best friend too, you know that, even my fucking twin couldn't understand me the way you did Buster: Whenever something happened whether it was shit or good I just wanted to tell you Buster: We were good together, they made things different, took all of that away from me Rio: I know Rio: we can have that again, if nothing else Rio: why shouldn't we Rio: you can tell me anything Buster: Fuck everyone else Buster: I hate them Rio: No you don't, not everyone Buster: Alright, the majority then Rio: 😏 okay, probably Rio: but shh Buster: Don't shh me, you just said I could tell you anything Rio: I suppose I did Rio: you didn't realize I'm a really crap girlfriend Buster: I've already realised that's bullshit Rio: Dan would probably disagree Rio: if he knew, like Buster: Yeah well, he'd love to disagree with me purely for the sake of doing so Buster: And I'd rather we had fuck all in common Rio: I mean, more like the bruises he didn't give me but you know Rio: I'll dump him Rio: when you've gone Buster: That's his own fault, if you were my girlfriend I wouldn't leave without you Rio: I didn't want to go Buster: He should've stayed with you then Rio: I didn't want that either Buster: Behave, you know what I'm saying Rio: I'm just saying Rio: not as stupid as you reckon Buster: Him or you? Rio: him Rio: I don't think you called me stupid, not tonight anyway Buster: Is that why you like him? Buster: It shouldn't be, 'cause if anything he's stupider than I reckoned for not being willing to put up a fight for you Rio: No Rio: it's just, I already knew him, when we came back properly Rio: didn't really know anyone else Buster: And you already fancied him Rio: not really Rio: he was cute but Rio: you didn't put me on your list either Buster: I could've told you puberty wasn't gonna do him as many favours as me Buster: I'm not that stupid, babe, then or now Buster: I know I can't marry you Rio: it was just a game Rio: you could've pretended Buster: I don't wanna pretend with you Rio: Do you even want all this Rio: you know, the wedding, the church Buster: I want you Buster: Nobody's gonna let us celebrate it by buying us toasters and champagne flutes, but if we could, I would Rio: yeah Rio: it don't matter Buster: We still belong to each other Buster: And I still choose you Rio: I'd rather have you than any of that Buster: It doesn't have to be either/or Buster: It can't look like theirs but we can do whatever we want in secret Rio: you're so cute Buster: I'm just saying, if you want something I'll get it for you Buster: Whatever it is Buster: I'm not your shit boyfriend, I don't give up Rio: you don't need to get me anything Rio: just stay in my life, that's all Rio: even if you have to marry a supermodel Buster: If I can't marry you, I won't get married Rio: it's a deal Buster: Okay Rio: I love you, Buster Buster: I've missed you so much Rio: I know Rio: I haven't even asked how you've been Rio: what you've been doing, 'cos it's been forever Buster: Don't Rio: I don't wanna know or you don't wanna say Rio: or both Buster: You already know Rio: but you're alright, yeah? Buster: I never settle for just alright, do I? Rio: you know what I mean Buster: What do you want me to say? Rio: you don't have to lie Rio: tell me how I can make it better though Buster: It is better now Buster: Like I said earlier, you don't have to worry about me Buster: Even if it wasn't better, I can handle that Rio: 😔 Buster: Come on Rio: 🥺 Rio: okay Buster: Please don't be sad Rio: I just can't think of you being sad Buster: I'm not any more Buster: I've got you Rio: it'll be better Rio: I'll look after you Buster: I love you Rio: I love you too Rio: I swear I don't even know half the people who are still here Buster: You should be here with me Buster: This house is so fucking quiet Rio: I could easily change that Rio: maybe we can have a sleepover one night Buster: We can Rio: like old times Rio: but better Buster: I won't headbutt you this time, like Rio: 😂 Rio: I appreciate it Buster: Did I ever do anything right as a kid or what? Buster: Fucking hell Rio: Plenty of things Rio: we know there was more stopping us than any awkwardness that happened Buster: Yeah Rio: but fuck that now Rio: they've got no right or need to know Buster: Don't worry, I've learned from my parents what not to do Buster: We won't get caught Rio: neither of us is stupid Rio: I want you too bad to fuck with it Buster: All we have to do is keep things the way they used to be in front of everyone Rio: we've kept it up for ages Rio: at least now, we know it's 100% fake Rio: no doubt Buster: Exactly Rio: You do have to come back more though Rio: or I'll die Buster: I'll think of a reason Rio: Use your big, educated brain, boy 😜 Buster: An idea'll come easily once you're not distracting me Rio: not even sent you any pictures Buster: Me either Buster: But I should shower so Buster: Maybe I will Rio: How many pleases do I have to say to make that maybe a definitely? Buster: Let's see Rio: 🙏 Buster: You have to say it though Rio: Hmm, emojis aren't gonna cut it, noted Rio: Pleeeeaaaaaase Buster: Like you mean it Rio: Insincerity either, okay Rio: Please though Buster: Please, what? Rio: Please send me pictures of you Buster: [does obviously] Rio: More Buster: [he's extra so you know he will] Rio: you're perfect Buster: For you Rio: only for me Buster: Yeah Rio: all for me Buster: I'm all yours now Rio: not gonna take any pictures of my face 'cos I'm just 🥴 now Buster: You're beautiful Rio: That's you Buster: It's not a competition, thank Christ Rio: Awh, baby Rio: I'd let you win Buster: You winning means I win Rio: then you're so welcome Buster: Good Rio: [sends pics from the desk] Buster: We're gonna have to break back in before I leave Rio: or find another desk Buster: I'm looking at one right now, trying to decide whether or not it would break Buster: You'll have to tell me what you think, when you come over Rio: oh Rio: or we could just try and hope for the best Buster: Okay, I'll protect you if it does collapse Rio: I know you will Rio: you love me Buster: And you trust me Rio: with my life Buster: I'll never let anything or anyone hurt you Rio: Only you Rio: and only how I like it Rio: 'cos you know me better than anyone Buster: Some of those bruises are gonna be there after I've left Rio: mhmm Rio: they need to be Rio: I need all the reminders we can get away with Buster: You can have as many as I've got time to give you Rio: you're so lovely 🥰 Rio: I'll take pictures every day, show you how they're healing Buster: Don't forget Rio: Never Rio: when they've nearly disappeared, you come back, yeah Buster: 'Course Rio: 🧡 Buster: Rio Rio: yeah? Buster: Tomorrow, things won't just go back to the way they were before, will they? Rio: I can't do it Rio: I seriously can't Buster: You know I mean everything I've said, yeah? Rio: Yes, and I'm not going to forget any of it Buster: Please don't Rio: I promise Buster: I'll say it all again if I have to but Rio: How could I forget Rio: when I've wanted to hear all of this for so long Buster: You know why Rio: but we can do it Rio: we can keep this secret Rio: I can't go back, can't do what we were Rio: I was bad at it Buster: We both were Buster: And you know how much I fucking hate being bad at things Rio: So, jump with me Rio: you can't keep one foot on the ledge, like Buster: That a dare? Rio: I'd rather you want it, if it's all the same to you Rio: but I can't say I'm above it Buster: You're all I want Buster: The rest, it's not just for me Rio: then I'm yours and that's all there is to it Rio: we'll work out logistics in the morning Buster: If you aren't still there, like Rio: 🙄 Rio: the twins are 💤 in the coats Buster: My dad had to carry Ava in, she wasn't waking up for anything or anyone Rio: Don't blame her Rio: I'm about my ma's size but don't reckon I'm getting away with it Buster: Are you tired, baby? Rio: You know I am, its your fault Buster: I can carry you tomorrow Rio: I'm gonna dream about it Buster: If I can fall asleep, I will too Rio: I'll make sure you do first Rio: manners, babe Buster: I don't think that's the reputation I want though Rio: who am I telling suddenly 🤨 Buster: Not the point is it Rio: You don't need to prove anything to me Rio: there's nothing you haven't already, like Buster: There's always more to prove Rio: I won't complain Rio: show me how good you are so I can't ever forget Rio: 🤤🤤🤤 Buster: [a video because we starting as we mean to go on as being extra bitches] Rio: BABY Buster: I told you Rio: but Rio: that's not allowed Buster: Are you complaining after you said you wouldn't? Rio: No Rio: What's the opposite of complaining? Buster: So you approve? Buster: I'll take the praise then Rio: My nan will love you even more Rio: got me on my knees Buster: Another reason to keep the secret as I obviously can't risk losing her admiration Rio: Obviously Rio: though I'd love the chance to get her to hate me more Buster: We can do that Rio: can we? Buster: You know me, trouble follows me anywhere, it's not limited to Chelsea's confines Rio: Stop tempting me, but don't ever Buster: It's a deal, babe Rio: You have no idea how bored I was without you around Buster: Yeah I do, I've had to entertain myself Buster: Nobody else can come close to keeping up Rio: well you are very entertaining Rio: so I'm jealous of you, if anything Buster: You and everyone else who has had the privilege of meeting me, like Rio: 😏 Rio: you're adorable Buster: Seriously though, all the girls I was talking to earlier were so fucking boring Rio: earlier today or in general Buster: I meant earlier, as in when you were busy with your boyfriend, but it's not any different in general Rio: Hmm Buster: What? Rio: Nothing Buster: Come on Rio: Really, nothing Buster: Bullshit Buster: Say what you wanna say Rio: I just don't like thinking about it Buster: It's not something you have to think about any more Rio: I know, just being stupid Buster: Don't Buster: You're not stupid Buster: I shouldn't have said it, I just meant that I'm lucky to have you Rio: I really know, ignore me, well, ignore that Buster: No Buster: 'Cause if I ignore it you'll still be thinking about it, but without telling me that you are Buster: Then I can't make you feel better Rio: I don't want you to think I'm like that though Buster: Would you rather I think you don't care? Rio: No Rio: you know I do though Rio: but I'm not a crazy bitch, or only a bit Buster: I wanted to kill your boyfriend as soon as I saw you with him, I don't reckon there's any room for me to judge Rio: that's what I wanted though, at least partly Buster: I'll happily kill him for you, it'd be easy Rio: 🙄 that is NOT what I meant, let the record show Rio: asking you to commit murder seems like a further down the line deal tbh but appreciate the level of commitment, baby Buster: Let the record show that I'm planning to say he started it by smacking me with a newspaper Buster: And also that I know exactly what you actually meant Rio: 😂 Rio: point is, it's only my business if you make it so, and you didn't bring no plus one so Buster: You wouldn't have been jealous if I had Buster: It's too obvious that I don't give a shit Rio: I definitely would have Rio: it doesn't take much, not with you Buster: Maybe but so would whoever this hypothetical girl is 'cause wherever you are is the only place I'm looking Rio: Risky Rio: lucky boys aren't that bright usually Rio: or maybe no one's mind goes there, you know Buster: If hers had it'd be easy to turn around, but gaslighting isn't really my idea of a fun night Rio: can think of better Buster: You and me both Rio: though now isn't the perfect time for vivid fuck flashbacks as it looks like my mum might actually be ready to go Buster: I reckon you meant to say that actually there couldn't be a more perfect time Rio: damn, payback is swift Rio: I just forgot you were in the car with your fam, I swear 🤞 Buster: [hitting her with all those reminders of everything that happened in such glorious detail because he is that bitch 100% like okay if your memory is that 'unreliable' don't forget that this or this happened] Rio: like Rio: I deserved that but I don't deserve you Rio: oh my God Buster: You deserve more Buster: [Hitting her with everything he's gonna do to her tomorrow because 100% that bitch too] Rio: Buster Buster: Rio Rio: I want you now Rio: be here Buster: I'm here Rio: Make me feel better Buster: [we're obvs going in even harder with what it would be like if they were actually together rn, he may not have jimothy's way with words but the enthusiasm and urgency are unparalleled] Rio: I'm gonna need your fingers again Rio: or my lips are gonna be unholy big from the bruising Buster: Then you better take 'em Buster: Or I'll have to just kiss you everywhere else tomorrow Rio: can't I have both? Buster: 'Course you can Rio: You spoil me Buster: You deserve that too Rio: I am being really good Buster: How good? Rio: My legs are crossed and my mouth is 🤐 Rio: you'd be proud Buster: Oh I am Buster: I'm very proud of you, baby Rio: Daddy 😖 Rio: you're making me squirmy Buster: No, keep still Rio: I'm trying so hard Rio: but every time I think of you kissing me all over Buster: You're gonna need to try harder until I can actually be there to keep you still myself Buster: Do it for me now and no matter what, I won't stop kissing you when we're back together Rio: I'll do it Rio: not do it, actually Rio: hands to myself, I promise Buster: You know I trust you Rio: I wanna cover your whole face in kisses Buster: I love kissing you Rio: we can do it all day, can't we Buster: Yeah Rio: I'll never get tired of your face Rio: you're so pretty Buster: It's been so hard not to look at you Rio: you're going to struggle even more now you've seen everything Buster: I know Rio: I can send you pictures of how I'm really looking underneath Rio: make it even harder 😋 Buster: Can you? Rio: Right now? Buster: Right now Rio: [the sneakiest of partial nudes you can manage rn] Buster: Jesus Rio: if Edie was 💤 I could do better but Buster: It's even hotter that you did that even though she's not Rio: You told me to Rio: I'll do anything for you Buster: How early can you meet me? Rio: Depends what we're doing Rio: separately or otherwise, 'cos that changes the answer Buster: My mum and dad won't be keeping tabs on where I'm going or who with Rio: Mine either Rio: but I don't usually go out with my friends at the crack of dawn, sadly Buster: Haven't you ever accompanied him on his paper round? Rio: No, I'm not losing beauty-sleep for that Rio: but I will pretend to, that's a good idea Buster: You should get some actual sleep then Rio: no Buster: Behave, by the time you get home it'll almost be time to leave again Rio: but if I'm bad, you'll have to come get me sooner, right? Buster: Keep doing what you're told, you know that's what'll get you what you want the soonest Rio: Alright, I'll try Rio: even though I feel drunker than I am 'cos of all this Rio: high, like Buster: Me too Buster: The way I feel now, I reckon I could stay awake the full week I'm here and not have any regrets about it Rio: like I literally wanna be with you all the time Rio: I missed so much time with you already Buster: Fuck it, we'll stay up Buster: You're better than a load of lines, I won't even need 'em Rio: we can get 'em, if you want Buster: Do you want to? Rio: I'm not just saying no, like Rio: might need 'em, could be fun Buster: Okay Rio: Ryan'll get it, give him a shout when we wanna Buster: 'Course he will Rio: ? Buster: The cunt thinks he's in love with you, you do know that, yeah? Rio: he's just full-on Rio: probably all the coke Buster: No, he's full on and in love with you Rio: he can't be, we've barely had a 1x1 chat in our lives Buster: Like I said, he thinks he is Buster: He don't have to know you well for that Rio: well anyway, he gets decent gear, that's all that matters, yeah Buster: So I won't beat the shit out of him until after he's handed it over, fine Rio: your schedule is too full to be beating up anyone, 'scuse you Buster: It'll barely take a second Rio: second too long, sorry Rio: I'm that needy Buster: Is Edie asleep yet? Rio: Lemme see Rio: you know when you 👀 someone too hard and it's like they feel it then they're 👀 right back Rio: she always does that, so gotta be sneaky about it Buster: I always thought Nance or Junior were doing that but every time they were actually just sleeping Rio: Seriously Rio: slightly worrying how much they could sleep through Rio: but also good to know 😏 Buster: It only seems like they slept shit loads 'cause we never did Buster: I was fighting it until the last second so I could spend more of them with you Rio: Me too Rio: I don't even feel like that kid anymore, most of the time, thinking about what you said Rio: maybe it doesn't mater but I know I miss it, shit was simpler, if not perfect Buster: It's alright, I remember her, in spite of what I said, and I know she's not gone Rio: Maybe Rio: I think Eds is asleep Buster: Definitely, when you smile at me it's the same one Rio: You'll make me emotional Buster: I don't mean to Rio: I know Rio: just not used to this Buster: What? Rio: It just isn't like this, wasn't Rio: it's just been different, with any boyfriend I've had Buster: Different how? Rio: It's hard to explain Rio: like, they're nice but it's like, shallow, surface level Buster: You don't have to explain, I know what lads are like Rio: more than that though Rio: like it just didn't mean very much to me Buster: You wanted to hear it from me Buster: I'm sorry that I made you wait until tonight Rio: It was worth the wait Buster: You are Rio: You're special Buster: You'll make me emotional Rio: It's okay, baby Buster: I'm not used to feeling any of this Rio: me either Rio: we can slow down if we need Buster: No, I'm not gonna fuck this up Rio: You won't Buster: I can't Rio: No, you can't Buster: I won't lose you again Buster: I wouldn't be able to handle it Rio: Buster, it won't happen, I can promise that Rio: that is the last thing I want, I couldn't want anything less Buster: I'll make sure you don't ever want that to happen Rio: likewise Rio: you won't need anyone else for anything Buster: Unless I wanna have a fight, like Rio: you don't think I can hold my own? how rude Buster: I taught you everything you know, 'course you could Rio: maybe I learnt some new moves since Rio: try me 👊💋 Buster: Well there's no danger of you throwing a newspaper at me, you already told me you haven't been out delivering Rio: Oh my God, it's not MY paper round, let me live 🙄😂 Buster: Get a better boyfriend and I will Rio: I've told you I'm dumping him Buster: Yeah Rio: You really want me to get another one, yeah? Buster: Don't Rio: I don't want another boyfriend, you know that Buster: Nobody but me Rio: No one else, ever Buster: I've deleted them all Buster: Every girl I was talking to before Rio: I love you Buster: I need you Buster: It has to be you Rio: It's me Rio: I'm for you and that won't change Rio: 'cos I always have been Buster: It's not just that I've not felt like this before, it's that I know I won't ever again Buster: For anyone but you Rio: That's how I feel too Buster: If I have to lie every weekend to come back and make this work, I will Rio: There must be a decent excuse Rio: some school-related bullshit that they'll approve of Rio: I'll put my less sleepy more sober brain to it Buster: Me too Rio: what are you doing, are you in bed? Buster: [a bed selfie that he doesn't mean to look adorable in but does cos snuggly] Rio: oh Rio: why are you so sweet Buster: Am I? Rio: 👼 Rio: that's what you look like rn Buster: Well then, I could say I'm going to your nan's church every Sunday Rio: 😂 it's well believable you've found God Rio: if you were actually a good boy she'd probably 💀💀 so double win Buster: Yeah cheers, I've had a religious experience Buster: Now I know what heaven feels like and how hot angels are, I'm converted Rio: Shut up 😏 Rio: God really does do it for 'em, though Rio: they all compete over who can make the best cakes for pastor Rio: dread to think how many of 'em he's having affairs with Buster: Or seeing someone who is everything they'd disapprove of, that's what I'd do if I was him Rio: I don't think you should change your career plans, babe Buster: Religion is less of a career, more of a hobby Rio: is if you're faking it Rio: wonder if they'd go in for that on your uni apps though Buster: Definitely would Rio: you're welcome Rio: +points for multiculturalism if you go to my nan's church Buster: I'll see you there Rio: what's in it for me? Buster: Getting to share a hymn book with me Rio: 🤔 Rio: tempting, I'll definitely think about it Buster: Tempting is me in my church clothes, obviously Rio: Okay, I can't deny that Rio: you looked so good today Buster: You look so fucking good every time I see you Buster: But you should post more, it's really frustrating when you don't Rio: Yeah? Rio: How frustrating? Buster: As frustrating as when you walked away from me earlier and I wasn't allowed to stop you Rio: That bad Rio: that was like Rio: painful how much I didn't want to Buster: Almost as bad as dancing Buster: It's painful any time I can't look at you or touch you Rio: I just wanted to dance with you like anyone else could dance with their partner Rio: but more, obviously Buster: We'll go out before I leave Buster: Do it properly Rio: then we can dance EXACTLY how I wanna Rio: which will be way more frustrating but then we can find some dark corner and you can do something about it Buster: Like I said, I'm having a religious experience Buster: 'Cause that sounds like heaven to me Rio: I can be your angel Rio: if you keep blessing me Buster: You are Rio: You're fucking godlike, baby Buster: If I had the power, you'd be here with me right now Rio: I can be Rio: I can't speak to you Rio: still in the car Rio: but you can give me your sermon, like Buster: Everyone's definitely asleep, yeah? Rio: except the driver Buster: Well yeah, but if his eyes ain't on the road, you're at risk of more than getting caught Rio: He's not looking at me Buster: Good Rio: Please, daddy Rio: let me hear your voice Buster: [we calling and we all know what's up and that it'll be fire so that driver better be chill] Rio: [Ali will be keeping a motherly snoozy eye really she's not that shwasted and irresponsible] Buster: [we love you gal] Rio: [no shame from you two though, from the off] Buster: [literally start as you mean to go on, running so JJ can walk tbh] Rio: [tbh x2] Buster: [you've felt bad about it for long enough lads, I don't blame you for having no shame now] Rio: [you can feel bad when everyone finds out, for now the secret is yours lads] Buster: [they gotta eventually fall asleep together on this phone because literally their thing, we'll wake you when you get home gal] Rio: [absolutely Buster: [do we wanna do our skip in this convo or a new one?] Rio: [hmm, let's do it in this one] Buster: [how are we even gonna lol] Rio: [maybe she hangs up when she gets home 'cos he's snoozing and she doesn't wanna wake him but that wakes him up?] Buster: [good idea] Buster: You're home Rio: Yes Rio: you're meant to be sleeping Buster: No, I'm meant to be staying awake with you Rio: it is unacceptable how perfect you look when you're asleep Rio: how dare you Buster: You look perfect whatever you're doing Buster: I'm not mad Rio: Good Rio: because I'd just hate to have to make it up to you 😋 Buster: I'm spoiling you, remember Buster: Not the other way round Rio: How could I forget when you're so good at it Buster: I won't let you Rio: how did you get me to sleep so fast Buster: Just that good, babe Buster: Like you said Rio: too good for anyone else Buster: Yeah Buster: They don't deserve me Rio: I'll do everything to keep being deserving Buster: You don't have to do anything Buster: You're just that good too Rio: 🥰 Buster: I'm so glad that I'm gonna be able to get to know you again Buster: Properly, like before Rio: It'll be good Rio: to have someone to really talk to and trust Buster: You don't feel like you have that? Rio: it's different Rio: like I have my friends and we can go out and have fun and talk about the day to day Rio: and I've got Mum and June and the girls Rio: but I look after them, I'm not bringing my shit to them, you know Buster: Yeah, I know what you mean Rio: just being the oldest, isn't it Rio: and moving somewhere late, when everyone's been friends for years, it's just not going to be that deep Buster: Exactly Rio: You get it Rio: you're the only childhood friend I have, really Buster: You've got Nance too though Buster: She's not constantly with your brother, to her dismay, like Rio: Yeah, that's true Rio: you know you're different Rio: in lots of ways, not just the obvious Buster: She's probably not secretly in love with you as well, granted Rio: 😂 Don't Rio: I know it doesn't make logical sense Rio: that it'd be the same Rio: but it wouldn't, it's weird to even think that about her Buster: It wouldn't be the same, like you said, in so many ways it can't be Buster: I've always felt like this about you and it's always made sense to me Buster: Why wouldn't I? Rio: I don't see why it's so bad Rio: if someone gets with their childhood sweetheart, people don't say it's fucked up 'cos they 'grew up together' Rio: that's why it's so lovely, you know Rio: we weren't in the same house, we weren't literally raised together day to day in the same way by the same people Rio: maybe I've just talked myself into thinking it's okay because I want it to be but I don't care Rio: if no one knows, no one is getting hurt Buster: It is okay, it's not like you're my sister Buster: That'd be fucked Buster: I saw you less than most people see their childhood friends, which you're right, nobody would have a problem with Buster: If you got with that kid who dared us to kiss, for example, everyone would think it was well sweet and he was a little cunt so Rio: Little cunt is a bit harsh but I see your point 😏 Buster: We've established your memory is unreliable Rio: You wish Buster: He wishes 'cause then you could've ended up with him Rio: I'll have to hunt him down and break the bad news Rio: god knows where he is Buster: Don't Buster: You'll only refuse to let me beat him up either Rio: You can't beat up everyone who's ever known me, babe Rio: I'll never see you Buster: Just the ones that fancy you Rio: Past tense Rio: unless he's really kept it going all these years, which would be slightly worrying Rio: in that case, you might have to Buster: Unless he's had a serious brain injury or a gay awakening it'd be present tense again as soon as you tracked him down Rio: you make me feel so Rio: good Rio: in all the ways Buster: You're flawless, I keep telling you Buster: Fucking beautiful, smart, hilarious, really caring, even to me when I was being a bigger cunt than that kid Rio: that doesn't mean I can handle that without melting into a mess of Rio: I don't even know Buster: I can easily handle carrying you, we also established that, so don't worry Rio: I want it Rio: carry me to the bathroom and take off my makeup because I can't be bothered Buster: Leave it, I'll do it for you for real Rio: You don't care the state I'll be if we do that? Buster: No, 'cause you won't be in one Buster: Flawless is flawless Rio: well, don't say you weren't warned then Buster: I don't need to be warned that your skin isn't naturally shimmery, I'm not an idiot Rio: You're perfect, that's what you are Buster: You do remember where I live, right? You wear less makeup than any other girl I've ever met Rio: 😂 Rio: so many girls at school I wanna politely come at with a makeup wipe Rio: less is  more Buster: I've literally had to throw shirts out and all we did was dance Rio: Don't get me started on the shades of tan Rio: I don't know who they think they're fooling with that orange orange Buster: Ava's gonna start on all this shit soon Buster: Fucking hell Buster: I actually won't have time to beat up any lads for you, sorry Rio: I understand Rio: you have a few years though Rio: get some practice in Buster: It's Chelsea, I'm lucky she ain't already started Rio: it's depressing really Buster: She shouldn't be growing up here Rio: it's not consolation to say I think it's much of a muchness everywhere but Rio: you just worry about them, regardless Rio: Billie don't wear makeup ever but it's not like she don't give me grief still Rio: just different ways Buster: Yeah Rio: not lecturing you though Rio: you know Rio: didn't have to beat up boys for Nance and it's still stressful, yeah Buster: I still do, just for different reasons Rio: That hasn't got any better then? Buster: No Rio: I thought she seemed pretty off Rio: she's gonna have to do something about it, or your parents are for her, a big something Rio: current approach clearly isn't cutting it and you can't be expected to shoulder that Buster: She won't do fuck all about it Buster: That's what our fight was about Rio: Ahh Rio: it can't be easy, like it won't be, whatever she has to do Rio: but neither can her day to day, surely Buster: 'Course it is, stop rolling over and taking it, easy as that Rio: for you Rio: if she knew how to do that, wouldn't even be an issue, like Buster: I've told her what to do Buster: If she stands up to them instead of being such an easy target, it'll stop Rio: some people just ain't made like that Rio: if she fucked it up, it'd make it worse, right? Buster: She's a McKenna we're all made like that Rio: My brother ain't like that either Buster: It's different for him Buster: Only having sisters and no proper dad Buster: He still wouldn't let anyone say or do the shit Nance is letting them get away with without at least getting your mum involved Rio: He isn't how he is because of any of that Rio: that's just who he is Rio: and he just chooses to not fully be that with outsiders so they have nothing to say Buster: Alright, I'm not having a go at him Buster: I can't when I'm as bad Rio: I know Rio: and I get the frustration at her, I really do Rio: just don't reckon going on the offensive with her is gonna help at this point is all Buster: She ain't talking to me so there's fuck all I can do anyway Rio: She will Rio: give her some space whilst she's here, she should chill Rio: and we can too Buster: I wasn't gonna invite her along with us, like Rio: Would be a bit rude Rio: and counterproductive to all our plans but Buster: Where are we going? Rio: everywhere worth going, obviously Rio: but tomorrow specifically Rio: 🤔 Buster: Today specifically by now Rio: Oh yeah Rio: God, I'm gonna be knackered Buster: I'll take care of you Buster: Starting with taking your makeup off Rio: maybe we could just pay for a cheap room somewhere Rio: spend the whole day just taking care of each other Rio: can always go somewhere in the PM Buster: It's not gonna be cheap, who am I? Buster: Do you want a pool, babe? Rio: It can't be that expensive or they won't let me in 😂 Rio: but we could splash out on a pool for a day, like Rio: my funds stretch that far Buster: You don't need any funds Buster: And shut up, you've never looked any less than 5 star worthy Rio: you can't pay for everything Buster: Yeah I can Rio: You know what I mean, boy Buster: I know you can't stop me Rio: Buster 😒 Buster: Baby Buster: We're not fighting about it Rio: I'll get us food and 🍾🥂 Rio: then I'll say okay Buster: I love you Rio: I love you Buster: Do you wanna sleep? We can set the same alarm and then I'll come pick you up Rio: We should, that's a good idea Buster: Or I could just leave now Rio: I could sneak you in Rio: but could you sneak out Buster: Again, who am I? Buster: There's nothing I can't do Buster: Especially when it's that easy Rio: You'll have to prove that you can keep quiet again 'cos there's no way we're leaving until you've fucked me Buster: With that kind of incentive I really can do anything Rio: 🥰 Rio: I'll be waiting then Rio: everyone here is dead to the world, will be for hours Buster: Have a nap, I'll wake you when I'm almost there Buster: Put your phone under your pillow, like Rio: Okay Rio: I'll try Buster: Good girl Rio: that doesn't make me wanna leave you Buster: Shhh Buster: Close your eyes Rio: I mean, you can't make me Rio: 😋🤭 Buster: Not yet Buster: But if you know what will happen Rio: We are supposed to be quiet, you're right Rio: if you're not up to punishing me and keeping me quiet, then I'll just have to be good Buster: Don't underestimate me Rio: Never Rio: I'm just telling you what I want Buster: I ain't forgotten Rio: 😶 me Rio: I'll be good now Buster: Yeah? Buster: 'Cause if I have to call you right now and tell you to be, you're in actual trouble so Buster: Really think about that Rio: 😖 Rio: best behaviour Rio: gonna really think about what I've done Rio: how to make it up to you Buster: You've got loads of time Rio: tell me about it Buster: [does tell her about how she can make it up to him in glorious detail obviously] Rio: FUCK Rio: be here so I can be really, really nice to you Buster: On my way Rio: but Buster: I know, this is why you need to sleep, then it'll feel like I'm there sooner Rio: but won't you be lonely without me, daddy? Buster: Yeah but before tonight I always was Buster: I can handle it Rio: I hate that Buster: It's okay Rio: no Rio: but it will be, from tonight Buster: Rio, listen, you can't promise me that and you don't have to Buster: I can handle it, I don't want easy, remember, and neither do you Rio: Maybe I can't Rio: but you won't be lonely, I can promise that Buster: You can't stay up forever, you know Rio: neither can you Buster: I'll sleep when I'm back Rio: I can keep up with you Rio: you said as much Buster: Yeah, I did Rio: There we go then Rio: don't fight me, babe Buster: How else am I gonna see those new moves you mentioned? Rio: we can fight like that Rio: just don't be mean to me Buster: I'll be nice Buster: You'll see Rio: but me first Rio: you've earnt it Buster: So have you Buster: And I'm stronger than you Rio: 🤤 Rio: can't be mad about that Buster: You won't be Rio: you make me feel small Rio: in a good way Rio: safe Buster: Good Buster: 'Cause you are safe Rio: Of course Rio: no reason I wouldn't be Rio: but it's still a nice feeling Buster: Like how you make me feel less alone Buster: I wasn't technically Rio: Yeah Rio: it's just Rio: right Rio: I've had boyfriends, so I can say Rio: it doesn't feel like this, just because of that title, supposed closeness Buster: I don't need a girlfriend to know it's right Rio: I wouldn't like that Rio: if you did Buster: Me either Buster: But I know that's what some people would say, if they found out Rio: it's not like you haven't slept with other girls though Buster: That's different to giving a shit about other girls though Rio: I guess Rio: but how much did I, how much do most people our age Buster: You care about everyone Buster: It's not just part of your night same as having another drink or line Rio: but I care about you more than I have any of them, that's my point Buster: And mine is, from on outside perspective it looks like you've tried harder than me Rio: I get it Rio: you can try Rio: like that Rio: if you want Buster: No Rio: I'm just saying Rio: if you need to Buster: Don't say things like that Rio: I have to Rio: I'm not going to let you not be sure Buster: You think I'm not? Rio: No, I think you are Rio: but I need you to know you've got the opportunity to test it, if you do need it, at any point Buster: I need you, that's all Rio: Okay Buster: Yeah, it is Buster: I'm not gonna change my mind and nobody's gonna change it for me Rio: I won't either Rio: I love you Buster: Your name was there among the first load of words I ever learned, don't forget that Buster: I've loved you my whole life Rio: you'll make me cry Buster: Don't cry, I'll shut up Rio: Don't Rio: you say all the things I wanna hear Buster: I wanna make you happy Rio: you do Rio: this is Rio: beyond happy Buster: No crying then Rio: I can't help it, baby Buster: I know but I can't hold you yet Rio: I won't cry when I see you Buster: You're only allowed to do that kind of shit when you're walking down the aisle Rio: Understood Buster: If we can't get married, you can't cry when you see me Rio: unfair Rio: but not your fault Buster: Yeah it is, I really want all the presents Rio: 😂 Rio: Exactly Buster: Not to mention, if you look that fucking good as a guest Rio: That's just dangerous Rio: less trying not to cry, more dying to get back down the aisle as quick as humanly possible 😍 Buster: I'm fine with dangerous, you know that Rio: I will not be fine with keeping my hands off you Buster: So touch me Rio: in front of the lord and the pastor? Rio: not to mention the guests Buster: I don't care Buster: Do it Buster: Whatever you want Rio: oh Rio: that's fucking hot Buster: It feels like ages since we last touched each other, which is bullshit 'cause before tonight it'd been years, and every part of me knows that, but Buster: I hate that I'm not already there Rio: It's true, it's hard to stop once you start something Rio: especially when that something feels as perfect as this does Buster: I'm gonna have to just live here Rio: If only Buster: You'll hide me, yeah? Rio: of course Rio: you know Chelsea will miss you too hard Buster: Clear out under your bed, like Buster: 'Course, I'm all that place has going for it Buster: Other than the coke being decent and abundant, I'll give 'em that Rio: and your school Rio: even if our system is better Rio: does any school here have the same 'connections' 🤔 Buster: They can get a new Head Boy and I can succeed anywhere Buster: Even catholic Rio: 'course Rio: you're a very good boy, after all Buster: I look like one anyway Rio: 👼 Rio: Okay Rio: come live in my bed Rio: under it Buster: Okay Buster: Sneak me in Rio: You're here? Rio: 🤩🤩🤩 Buster: I mean, I could have the wrong farmhouse, it's been a while Rio: I know you wanna see Dan that bad but that's really mean, babe Buster: Fuck's sake, he's literally the boy next door Buster: Hilarious Rio: I'm so glad you think so Rio: dunno if it counts as the trope if there's a shit ton of farmland between Buster: You really did want that love story, yeah? Rio: Shh Rio: I want you Buster: Make me Buster: 'Cause I want you so bad right now Rio: [Let him in gal] Buster: [don't give them away 🐈s we sneaking] Rio: [at least like Crim, they probably shout all the time for no real reason lol] Buster: [yeah always playing and chasing each other and being cray] Rio: [live for that danger] Buster: [we all know it because there's no way he's not making out with her the second she appears like just wait boy] Rio: [at least your mother is drunk and your sibs will be asleep/could think it was her boyf like mind ya business for a sec everyone] Buster: [Ali is probably asleep too at this point like it's gotta be early AM af] Rio: [we ain't having y'all get caught this quick lol] Buster: [imagine lol #gameover] Rio: [by the grace of god, you're so extra always] Buster: [literally carrying her upstairs as we speak so we rest our case] Rio: [live your best life lads] Buster: [is gonna actually take her makeup off for her and it'll be such a MOMENT bye] Rio: [the intimacy, bye] Buster: [when you do still look beautiful af though he's not even just hyping you] Rio: [like you never wear foundation or any shenanigans 'cos don't need] Buster: [we all know that moment will turn into him kissing her everywhere ever which will turn into every Simon x Alisha gifset ever] Rio: [god bless, get you a man] Buster: [it makes me lol like I don't remember it being such a thing when I watched the show but he's just always doing it appaz] Rio: [when you about that life] Buster: [Buster is so thanks for that blessed content] Rio: [I want 'em to fall asleep for a hot sec for that risk of peeps waking up for the day, like they should be fine but just 'cos 1. it's cute 2. we playing with fire always] Buster: [1000% approve for all those reasons and also it's believable like they literally have not slept and are drunk so] Rio: [exactly] Buster: [we know y'all are exhausting yourself with your antics] Rio: [only so hard you can front] Buster: [The effort of trying to be quiet in itself would kill you both so] Rio: [chatty caths] Buster: [mhmm] Rio: [when you can feasibly make more noise than him 'cos it could be Daniel so you're shamelessly using that to your advantage like you know he ain't gonna get you back later] Buster: [the perils of that posh boy accent] Rio: [loling imagining one of 'em like ew but typical and then being like wait...is that] Buster: [you're not getting rumbled today boy shut your mouth] Rio: [you can and will go ham in the hotel] Buster: [and it'll be fancy and you'll live your best lives just try not to break the bed as you have a habit of doing] Rio: [start as you mean to go on I reckon] Buster: [what do you think should wake them up like a toilet flush or something so you think its later in the morning than it is?] Rio: [that sounds legit and the kinda thing that would make you panic] Buster: [I know it's a big secret and everything but fairplay for waking up cos I would not] Rio: [lol hard same] Buster: [at least they can look at their phones and realise it's not 10am or whatever time they think it is and calm down] Rio: [back to not giving a fuck real quick] Buster: [should we let them go back to sleep or make them leave?] Rio: [I vote it's late enough that you could go get coffee n breakfast somewhere before you can check in] Buster: [and it feels like a mood to be like let's leave rn if they were shooketh and don't wanna risk it happening again if they fall back asleep] Rio: [exactly, you may as well tbh] Buster: [have a sleepy snuggle whilst you're doing the longest car ride back to civilisation lol] Rio: [that'll be a nice moment] Buster: [all the softness forever thank you] Rio: [nice throwback to the very first time we did 'em and they had that soft af coffee morning] Buster: [yaaaas but you don't have to wear Nance's clothes this time babe, you're welcome] Rio: [would be a very weird flex] Buster: [Christ knows what Buster is wearing though cos he would've got changed after the wedding when he went home but I doubt it was into a lewk because you were meant to be sleeping and I doubt even more than you got changed again before you then left your gaff] Rio: [we keeping it casual today] Buster: [we know they both look great anyway] Rio: [when do they not] Buster: [it's rude] Rio: [no wonder you lowkey wanna repopulate the earth] Buster: [love it for you] Rio: [think they have the most kids now p sure] Buster: [they do though gutted its not the 11 you OG wanted lads but it is still more than Ali which was the goal so] Rio: [we not falling into that trap again lol] Buster: [unless a face is literally perfect we mustn't] Rio: [cheeky gal] Buster: [do we want anything to specifically happen that we need to write down or do you just wanna leave this here like] Rio: [we can probably skip I reckon]
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melislostinthestars · 4 years ago
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My boss arrived to work this morning in a very cheery mood. We're the only two people working in the office full time. He asked me how my weekend was and I said "Good," without enthusiasm. He asked if it had been boring and I admitted it had.
Then he asked, still with the cheery tone, "When's the last time you saw your parents and gave them a hug?"
"Um, the last time I hugged my parents? That would have been in June."
"You need to hug your parents."
I replied, "Yeah, I'd love to...." leaving the huge "but" that is the pandemic dangling unsaid because to me it's obvious but I can already tell my boss does not care.
Sure enough, he replies, "No, not you'd love to. You're going to. They need a hug from you. You need a hug from them."
I had no idea what to say. Because the fact is that my parents are taking this pandemic seriously, and so am I. I used to hug my parents every Sunday when I visited them. Of course we would love to hug again. But at the same time, because of the pandemic, my parents don't actually want a hug from me. And I don't want to hug them. Because I would just be super anxious about it for the next two weeks, worried I made them sick.
I deflected by telling him that my parents were able to see my nephews again this weekend because my sister is going back to work and my mom is her source for childcare. Even they had not been seeing each other since Boxing Day when the provincial shutdown was announced.
It makes me so frustrated and sad. Because he's telling me how I should behave when I've already had to come to the very difficult decision to follow the guidelines and forgo seeing my family. To top things off, my roommate moved in with her partner yesterday so that she could see him, since she also had been following the guidelines that prevented them from seeing each other.
So now I'm alone with the pets, and part of me is happy because I'm an introvert and I really needed some alone time after weeks of having my roommate constantly at home. But without being able to even visit with family and friends, I know I'll get lonely without her at home. And I didn't need my boss rubbing that in my face this morning.
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