#i've joined general social groups and neurodivergent groups and a crochet group and i take group violin classes
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i think i just need to accept that i'm never going to have irl friends ever again for the rest of my life lmao
#idk i keep putting myself out there but i just don't fucking connect with anyone#there are people out there who i like who i think also like me. and we have a kinda fun time. but the vibes are off#and on the rare occasions where i meet someone i actually vibe with we see each other again and they don't even remember me#like i'm not expecting to meet someone and be besties immediately bc that's not realistic#but it's like. you can usually tell after meeting someone a few times if you're vaguely similar? and i just don't! with anyone!!!#i've joined general social groups and neurodivergent groups and a crochet group and i take group violin classes#and plenty of ppl are making friends and hanging out outside of these structured meetings. not me though!!! i'm just a fucking loser!!!#and this isn't a nyc problem this has been a problem since i graduated college. this is a me problem#and idk. i think i just give up. i'm just an unlikable and weird person and i don't ever seeing that changing sooo. w/e it is what it is#i'll keep going to these meetup group events so i can get out of the house and pretend i have irl friends#and chat with my online friends <3#this sounds depressing but i swear i'm not depressed i'm just like. accepting this is never happening so i can stop being disappointed#m.txt
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