#i've heard stories about running partners in races where like. one of them broke his ankle or something midrace

[scattered-winter]

buddie as running partners...buddie as RUNNING PARTNERS...!!! (does that make the 118/firefam an entire cross country team? coach!bobby? athletic trainer!maddie? idk, idk how cross country teams work.) nonetheless...say more.... <3333

here's a lil overview real quick so y'all can pick up what I put down: cross country teams are all different, and can even be formed by a community group instead of a traditional "school that competes in the individual districts," but the basic layout is coach/trainer, assistant coaches if necessary, and the athletes who actually compete. some teams have a team captain appointed from the ranks of athletes, and the captain's specific duties/responsibilities varies from team to team but essentially they're like.....the assistant assistant coach. they watch out for the team and are the unofficial leader if the coach isn't around. teams compete at meets (races) against other teams; the amount of teams at meets really just depends on what the race is for/who organized it. smaller meets can have 2-5 teams, but the big regional meets can have hundreds. in official competitions like regionals, scores are done for both individual runners and overall teams. if an individual runner finishes in the top 10 or 15 runners, he'll place as an individual, but if the overall team score beats other team scores, then the whole TEAM will also place. the scoring system is based on what place a runner gets. 1st place gets one point, 2nd gets 2 points, 3rd gets 3 points, and so on, all the way down the line to the very last runner who comes in. to get team results, the whole team's scores are added up, and the team with the lowest combined score wins. the more runners that finish higher up in the race, the lower the overall score.

I think ideally bobby would be their coach, and the whole 118 would be a cross-country team. I like the idea of maddie joining their team after running (ha) from doug and I also like the idea of hen being the team captain :] interim captain hen my BELOVED!!!!!!!!!!!

I think for spice <3 the 126 as a separate team that they compete with. they have dual meets a LOT (which is a cross country race with only two teams. there's no pressure to compete for times or positions at the bigger, more important races, and they're sooooooo fun. every time I've done a dual meet we always hung out with the other team afterward at a lake or restaurant and it was sooo <333) so the 126 and 118 are still Competing in the sense that they're gunning for the same positions in the regional/national races, but it's a very friendly competition because the teams are very close. no hard feelings if one team wins over the other, because they're all good friends and they're super supportive of the other team because it's a great accomplishment for them. judd is the coach <3 not owen <3

and onto BUDDIE <3 the thing about a running partner is like. they're your constant. sure, you've got the team, but your running partner is like your other half. someone with a similar pace as you. you train with them, you compete with them, and it gets to the point where you don't even need to use words because you know each other better than anyone else. racing isn't just a physically exhausting sport, because there's a HUGE mental factor in it as well. there's lots of strategies and techniques, and every aspect of the course is broken down into how it can make you faster, even the surfaces you run on (grass, concrete, pavement, etc. each one has different benefits and disadvantages), or how you run around a corner. each tiny aspect can shave seconds off your time, and that can be the difference between first and second place. and as a running partner, buck and eddie both know what the other person prefers. they know the precise way the other will run a hill, or jump a log, or take a sharp turn. during training they laugh and joke and have a great time but during races they're a force. there's certain maneuvers two running partners can do around a turn or up a hill to be mutually beneficial, and they do them without even thinking or communicating that they're about to do it. they just know.

and there's also just !! the intimacy of it !!! after running with the same people for so long, you get to the point where if your teammates were lost in a cluster of running people all wearing the same t shirt, you'd be able to pick them out from the crowd just by the very specific and unique way they hold themselves while they're running, even if they're all the way across the course. each person has their own unique "style," and the entire team can pick each other out from a group of 50 other runners just by looking. another aspect is after the race is over !! collapsing at the finish line isn't just common, it's almost expected. and more often than not you'll see teammates who just finished a race together holding each other up or kneeling to untie each other's shoes to get the timing chip.

the 118 team is comprised of hen, chim, buck, eddie, and maddie. the order in which they finish changes up every race, but generally, in order from fastest to slowest, it's chim, buck+eddie, maddie, and hen. bobby and athena are the coaches, so they don't actually compete unless it's for a "coach's race" that some meets have after the actual races are finished, just for fun. when they do race, athena usually finishes ahead of bobby.

the 126 team is comprised of tk, marjan, mateo, paul, nancy, and tim. generally, it goes tk, marjan+paul (running partners), mateo, and nancy+tim (also running partners). judd is the coach, and carlos cheers his boyfriend on from the sidelines :]

my last and final thought is that <3 they have pasta parties before big meets <3 basically the whole team meets up at someone's house and they all eat pasta and bread <33 carbloading AND teambuilding at the same time :]

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

DOTW 41 - Full. I've thought about this and here is the best place to end it

Laying in Hanji's bed, Eren wept. He'd cried for what must have been hours, but the tears refused to stop. Three negative tests. Three negative tests and his dream of being a mother was over. There was no mistaking that. It felt as is his heart had physically broken, the pain in his chest all consuming as he cried over his own patheticness. Both Levi and his doctor had told him that he probably wasn't pregnant, yet he'd stupidly become attached to the life that hadn't even been growing inside of him to begin with. He'd wanted this. He'd wanted this so badly and he'd let Levi down. He'd opened his mouth and told him. If he'd just kept quiet, Levi would be none the wiser. He could have hidden it completely. Levi wouldn't have to know that he was a bad omega. Or rather, his boyfriend wouldn't have to know he was worthless omega. What kind of omega couldn't carry pups? It didn't matter that they'd used protection. Not when they'd had a ridiculous amount of sex without a condom... he'd had his shot, but did that mean he could never fall pregnant? That he was never going to be able to give Levi children? That's what it felt like. That those three tests were life's way of saying he just wasn't good enough to be a mother. Surely this had to be his punishment for being so bad. Hanji had tried to soothe him, but his omega wasn't having it. She wasn't his alpha. Her scent wasn't safe and warm like Levi's. It wasn't the scent that made his heart leap, or made him slick like crazy during heat. It wasn't the scent that anchored him... She, just wasn't Levi. And Levi was the only one his omega wanted. He was the only one that Eren wanted. Levi was the foundation of his very identity. Everything he did or said, was because of Levi's influence. He would walk through the fires of hell to be with his alpha... So why was it he couldn't even fall pregnant, for him. Now Levi had no reason to be by his side. Before Levi, he'd never met anyone he wanted in his life, for the rest of his life. Even omegas who casually hooked up and fell pregnant, were forced to admit that through their child, the would never be free of the ties that bound them to the father of their child. He wanted to be bound by Levi. He wanted Levi to want him and need him, like he did him. If he'd been pregnant, than no matter what, there would have been a tie that bound them... and now that was gone. He was so fucking stupid. He'd gotten excited. In those few moments before checking the tests, he'd actually gotten excited. His heart was racing as his omega proud. But that was gone now... and he just couldn't stop fucking crying like the idiot he was. When he'd given himself over and let those alphas mount him, he couldn't remember them wearing protection... then again, he hadn't remembered everything when he'd woken up. Things had taken a few days to come back. Small fragments coming together to build the bigger picture. If they'd mounted him, and they'd filled him with their seed, why hadn't he fallen pregnant by them? They'd all taken turns, even when his cries turned to Levi's name, they'd still plowed into him. He'd embraced that fantasy to escape his reality. His omega state reduced to its carnal desired. The heat and drugs turning his brain to mush, until their touches had turned to pleasure and he'd come over and over. It wasn't until he'd come down from the high that he'd felt sick. He tried to ignore it, but without the drugs, he felt cold from their touches. Sick from the force of their trusts. Nauseous from their knot inside of him. They'd used him, and they'd lied. He really was stupid. With Levi, it was all a fresh start. He'd given himself to the alpha and considered Levi the one to take his virginity. Not the ones who'd kept him locked in chains for their pleasure. If Levi knew... Levi would leave. Wasn't that what he wanted though? If things were over, he might as well make Levi so revolted that he could never forget him. So that the man would carry that ugly black stain on his soul until he died... as payback for lying to him. He wished for Levi's happiness. He did. But he was hurting so badly. Levi hadn't really seemed that excited over his possible pregnancy. Not like Jean had been, or Moblit. If Levi hated him, he might as well hate him from the very depths of his soul. With time, Levi would move on and he'd be forgotten. That... that would be for the best. He probably didn't have long left anyway. Not with Bertholdt openly declaring that once the favour was paid, he'd die. Yeah. He needed Levi to leave him, or the alpha would die. * Levi felt sick to his stomach as he walked up to Hanji's door. The door opening before he could even knock. Eren's distressed scent rolled thickly off the female alpha, Hanji looking slightly uncomfortable about it all. Her instincts to protect we're probably through the roof "Thank fuck you came. He's in my room. Levi, he's in a really bad way. He hasn't tried to hurt himself, but..." Hanji shook her head, her eyes sad. She had already said that Eren was in a bad way, so her words were completely unnecessary. It was like pouring salt into his the open wounds of his own emotional distress. Giving her a nod, he headed straight up. Walking into Hanji's room, Eren was curled up in the middle of the bed. The omega still crying his heart out, while his scent was trying to keep Levi from coming close. His boyfriend trying to reject him, despite not being bonded. Omegas generally didn't reject their alpha, not even in their final moments. Even when those final moments came from being bashed to death by their alpha. The whole secondary dynamic system was completely fucked. Everyone could talk until they were blue in the face about protecting omegas and empowering them, but at the end of the day, none of that shit mattered when an omega accepted their partner completely. Climbing up on Hanji's bed, he cautiously placed his hand on Eren's head "Eren?" Whimpering, Eren curled in tighter "Hey. I'm here. I'm here, my love" Crooning softly, Levi laid himself behind Eren, wrapping himself around his boyfriend as much as was humanly possible "I know it hurts. But I'm here. We knew it was a long shot, and I'm sorry I wasn't here for your tests" Eren completely ignored him. Rather. He verbally and physically ignored his presence. His scent flared further. Forcing out the vile tendrils of rejection "Eren. You need to let me in. You need to let me be here for you" He needed him to fucking open up... at least enough that Levi could talk to him. To make him understand that despite the scare, he loved him. He loved him and he'd been stupid with fear "Eren, please. Stop rejecting me. I fucking love you" His voice broke, tears in his eyes. His alpha was roaring in pain. Not just emotional, but physical. He felt like... like he being torn apart by his second dynamic. He couldn't stop his bitter tears "P-please, brat. Please let me in. Stop rejecting me" Begging. He didn't beg. His pride didn't allow it. Without saying a single thing, Eren had reduced him to this... to this pathetic lump that vaguely resembled him. With a miserably sob, he buried his face against Eren's nape "I'll bond with you. I'll breed you. I'll do anything you tell me to do. Just stop this. Please. I need you" "If I talk. Will you listen?" Eren's voice was husky from the hours spent crying. So soft he nearly missed it in his own distressed state "Yes" "To all of it?" "Yes" He'd do anything to take Eren's pain away... he shouldn't have thrown up his walls and pushed for space between them. He should have swallowed down his own need to figure everything out, and given Eren what he needed to get him through this pregnancy scare "Let go of me..." He didn't know if he could. His body was fused in place. Scared that if he did let go, everything between them out break so badly that no amount of super glue could ever repair them "I..." "Let me go" If Eren's voice hadn't been cold before, it had dropped another several degrees in his moment of hesitation. Prying himself off Eren was like prying apart two sheets of wet glass. All he could do was slide and hope he didn't crack upon separation. When Eren was finally free, he moved to sit on the edge of the bed, facing towards the door of Hanji's ensuite. Wrapping his arms around himself, Eren took a breath "I was 10 when I watched my father murder my mother..." This wasn't what he wanted. He'd wanted to know Eren's back story so fucking badly, but hearing it almost seemed to make his ears hurt. There was no emotion here. Just words. Spoken as if off a script "I came down stairs because I was thirsty. Grisha never accepted having an omega son. For two years we hid it from him. I watched him kill her. She told me to run, so I tried to protect her. Grisha threw me against the wall and killed her in our kitchen. He'd gotten in to deep, and couldn't see another way out of it all. I remember someone else was there. I just don't remember who. He was the first to want to sell me. To sell away his shame. I kept my mouth shut as he went insane. He'd frequently hit me. Every time I heard him coming, I hid in my wardrobe. He'd find me and beat me. He was a doctor, so he always knew just where to hit... and then cleaned it up by saying I was clumsy. When my mum died, he banned me from seeing Mikasa and Armin. I wasn't allowed to go to school anymore. I wasn't allowed to have friends over. This went on until one day he dumped me and disappeared. After that, I was put into the foster system. I was 10 when I stopped going to school. I had screaming nightmares and was never anywhere long enough to go. Thomas told me my heats came from the fact I desperately wanted to be love. The doctors said they didn't happen properly because of emotional trauma. Whatever it was. I was too much of a problem child for the foster parents to handle. I never stayed anywhere for long at all. No one knew how to treat me or deal with me, and most weren't prepared to handle an omega with messed up heats. I was like a library book. Taken, only to be returned. I lost count of the number of homes. The faces of the other children all blended into one. None of it meant anything to me anyway. I mean. Mum had to die because I existed. I may not have been the one to physically killer her, but I didn't stop it either. When I first saw that house, I knew something was wrong. For the first time since everything began, I finally found a family that didn't just shove me off. They kept me around until my heat and then everything changed. To begin with, I would cook and clean for them. Dress how they wanted. Entertain their friends and let them slap me around. After all. My own father didn't want me. I deserved it all. Then, things started getting worse. They started with the chains. My wrists and ankles. Collar around my neck, to prevent mating bonds. They kept a gag in my mouth. The system was so relieved that I wasn't being bounced around anymore, they didn't bother checking in. Things started growing sexual. They'd beat me. Push me to the floor if I made the slightest mistakes. If they were drinking, they'd piss on my, rather than walk to the bathroom. If they were drunk and horny, they'd jack off over my body. At night, or when I wasn't needed, I was kept in their basement. I had thin sheets, that were little more than rags, a bowl to eat from like a dog, and a bucket to shit in. If I stank too bad, they hosed me down with a garden hose. The basement was always cold and wet. There were rats and it leaked when it rained. When they first gagged me, I would scream and fight. They'd push me down and fuck between my legs. They'd bash me regularly. I was tired of being treated like a monster for my dynamic. So I stopped fighting. Even when the gag came off, I wouldn't speak. I've had surgery because my back teeth were ruined by the gag, and started growing crooked. When I stopped speaking, I became nearly completely non vocal with words. I think it was a year or two. I think I was with them for 3 or 4 years. If their friends got a little too enthusiastic, they'd always make sure to beat my stomach. They didn't mount me, but some nights I fell asleep covered in cum. No matter how much I rubbed at my skin, even if it started to bleed, I couldn't get it off. It's not assault if you're not mounted. The court said Alphas can't help their desires and needs, around an omega who constantly goes into heat because of emotional trauma. As I grew, they replaced the cuffs around my wrists. They were slightly different to the metal ones around my ankles. They left those in place, cutting in as I grew. One day, one of them was complaining. They called me the bastard son of Grisha Yeager. It was then I realised. Everything done to me, was because of my father. Never once did they see me for me. No. I was the kid of the man they hated and they took that out on me. When they realised who I was, they kept me chained constantly. They left me down their to die. Someone called Child Services and reporter the abuse anonymously. Police raided the place, yet, they all got off. Zeke took me in shortly after I woke in hospital. I was around 16, maybe nearly 17. I say shortly after, but my sense of time was nonexistent. It felt like years. Laying in that bed. Staring at those walls. I was violent so they'd tie me down and dose me. I had to have surgery to correct my teeth. I was malnourished to the point where my body had started failing. I was in constant pain and constantly feverish. I was covered in bite marks from bugs and mice and whatever else. And they still got off because I was mute and they were alphas. Zeke murderer them all. It was after that that I found my voice again. Looking at those photos. I was happy. They were burned beyond recognition, but he told me how he slowly tortured them. How he cut their fingers off for touching me. How he kept them alive and made them watch each other die. I wasn't scared by it. I felt happy. I finally had someone who protected me. He'd taken care of the trash the police refused to touch. He burned their house down. He said the whole place was too evil to exist. That no one should live like that, especially not because of our father. He hated him. Grisha had walked out on Zeke and his mother. Sometimes I see Zeke's mother as my mother's killer. It's not like the memories of a ten year old are accurate. No one cares. Zeke took me in. We lived with his two friends. Reiner Braun and Bertholdt Hoover. Zeke wasn't stronger than the pair of them, but he kept them both in line. He poisoned Bertholdt, simply for being too close to me. He forced them to work at the same club as me. He refused to let anyone close me. He taught me to be strong. He got me into dancing instead of physical therapy and he controlled my diet so I didn't get sick again. Zeke taught me how to be a human again, and not a dog eating out a bowl. He had to teach me how to bath, shower, shit and shave all over again. How to eat with a knife and fork, and the alphabet. All I had to do was stay by his side. I couldn't talk to Reiner or Bertholdt. I couldn't get too close to them or he'd hurt them. He wanted to come after all of you, after I fell off the stage and needed surgery. He cleaned me after my heats, let me sleep in his bed where I was safe. He'd dress my wounds from scratching and make sure I was using my vitamin E cream so I wouldn't scar. He showed me how to use concealer to hide the scars around my ankles. The mask I wore, was crafted by him. I was no longer Eren from the basement. I was no longer touched and used by alphas. Instead, I danced and waved in their faces that they could never fuck me. I never, ever wanted an alpha again. All of them were so pathetic as they pushed money down my underwear, and watched my every move. And I fucking loved it. They all deserved it. They're nothing more than animals in human skins. It made me feel alive. I took back those broken parts of me, and shoved it in their faces. I danced and behind the scenes, my brother would hurt anyone who hurt me. All I had to do was be obedient to him. They might have never mounted me out of fear of pregnancy, but up on that stage, I could see that's exactly what they were thinking and I fucking loved it. When Zeke abandoned me at the hospital, he came to see me when Hanji took me home. He told me to stay there and behave, so I did. I waited every day for him to come take me home. Until you came along. I never let myself dream. You know. I broke my ankle when I was drunk. I climbed up on the balcony rail because I wanted to fly. When I jumped down, I broke it. I never dared to dream. But I wanted to be a fucking bird. I wanted to fly away and leave everything behind. It was so hard being good. I never felt good enough. I couldn't have friends. I couldn't go out. I couldn't eat what I wanted and I was always hungry. I wanted to leave the alpha with the mercury eyes behind. The stupid alpha I couldn't get out my head. I even started dressing in grey, because I was that pathetic. I thought things with you were different. You cried for me when you thought you raped me. I'd never met an alpha like you. You always smelt and felt safe. I always wanted your full attention. No matter how jealous and petty it was. I wanted you to want me as much I wanted you. I wanted to be good for you. I wanted to be the perfect omega. But at the end of the day, I am dirty. I'm so filthy that my soul will never be clean. Even if I couldn't voice words, I cried out when they touched me during my heats. The people who hurt me because they couldn't hurt my father. He must have known and he never came. He tried to kill me, and didn't care when someone else tried to do the same. He denied my existence. If he's still alive, he probably thinks I'm dead. The truth of it all is that I am not a sweet and caring person. I help others purely because I know what it's like to be powerless and it makes me feel good. I want the praise. I want to be wanted. I want to be wanted by you. I wanted to have your children. I wanted to be pregnant. I wanted it so fucking badly. But this... I am a bad omega, and this is the punishment. I've lied to you. Hurt you. Ruined your life and kicked you away. You were never supposed to hear this, but I'll probably be dead soon, and you can never unhear how worthless and dirty I am. I truly fell in love with you. But love won't give you that baby. It won't change the fact I wasn't pregnant. It won't change the fact that Zeke hit me and froze me in a cold shower for touching myself. It won't make me any cleaner. I am the bastard son of Grisha Yeager. It's a sin for me to live. My living has killed both my mother and Zeke... can you sit there and say you feel the same way about me now? Of course you can't. You loathe dirty things, and I lied so you would never know the real me... any of this. But if our relationship is over. Then there's no point to hide this... not anymore. You should go" Levi's whole body shook. The way Eren spoke so dispassionately about himself was sickening. He'd been told a little and put thing together by himself. But all of this was so much bigger than he'd expected. He didn't understand how Eren could think he deserved any of it. He didn't understand why Eren had to pay for the sins of his father and brother. He didn't understand how Eren thought him knowing, would make him love him any less. Climbing from Hanji's bed, Levi walked around it, squatting down in front of Eren and staring up into his green eyes "Eren..." "What are you doing? I told you to leave" "Are you fucking stupid? Do you really think that I wanted to break up with you" "I'm not pregnant" "I know" "Then why?" "Why what?" "Why won't you leave?" "Because I love you. You're such a fucking idiot, if you think what you said changes how I feel about you. I knew you were abused. You told me yourself, and I've seen the scars. I've heard you crying out in your nightmares. I'm disappointed you're not pregnant, but that doesn't meant that I don't love you. So please, stop trying to reject me. It physically hurts to smell you like you. You are my boyfriend. And one day, we can try for a baby. I told you that. Right now, you're hurting and confused" "I wanted to be... I... I really wanted to be" Eren broke down, falling forwards into his arms, and causing them both to land on Hanji's floor. Unlike his weeping before, these were howls of pain. Not only was Eren not pregnant, he'd finally broken down and told him his past "Thank you for finally telling me" Eren's scent was no longer rejecting him. Levi's heart still felt just a broken, but that pain would fade. He fucking loved his shitty brat "I wanted your baby. It hurts... Levi... It hurts" Nuzzling into Eren's neck, he nodded against him. Trying to calm and soothe his lover as he hushed him. Even with all he said, he still felt Eren was the kindest and sweetest person he'd met. He'd just had a rough hand in life... he didn't have the white picket fence. What he'd been through, that had been his normality. They'd all treated him like an animal, and he'd believed himself not worthy. Every adult had fucking failed him. He couldn't help but like Zeke just a tiny bit. If he had the chance to torture all those who'd hurt his omega, he fucking would. And the fucking judge. What kind of fucked-up bullshit arsehole, decided fucking torture was acceptable because the walking shit stains couldn't control their dicks. Knowing what he did now, so much of Eren's behaviour made sense. The scratching. He trying to rid himself of the nonexistent mess. Why he loved dancing and why Eren said Zeke saved him. He wasn't disgusted that Eren found happiness in the death of the alphas who'd hurt him. And he felt his love was brave for dancing in front of them. He could see how the shift in power would help Eren's mental state. There so much happening in his brain, he couldn't fucking stop thinking about it all. Eren told him the truth, thinking that would make him leave. He wasn't leaving. Did Eren want to leave? And what about the rest of the story? About when he went back to Zeke? About who killed Zeke? Did he still need the story? He knew Eren had sold his body for a deal they never kept... no. He knew the story. He knew more than he thought he did. He knew everything he needed to know, other than the names of arseholes who'd touched Eren. Once he had those... No... Floch would do his fucking job. If he didn't, then none of this would mean anything. But that wasn't true either, was it? Eren had told him his secret, and he couldn't understand why it was supposed to change anything between them. It was all in the past. It wasn't like Eren was a psychotic serial killer... No. His dead brother was. See. Nothing to fucking worry about. Just because a little bit of crazy ran in his bloodlines, didn't mean anything. Everyone was fucking crazy... You kind of had to be to survive. "I just want to forget... why can't I forget?! I don't want to remember anymore! How long do I have to dream about it?! Are these even my memories? I don't know what's real anymore" Eren was hiccuping for breath, his words pushed out as it they were the last things he'd ever get the chance to say. Struggling to push Eren back enough to see his face, Levi had to keep a firm hold. All Eren wanted to do was hide against him "Eren, I need you to breathe. Ok. Ok, deep breaths for me or you'll pass out" "I... don't care" "Well I do. You. You're my omega. And this right here is real" "No.... no. You don't want me..." "I love you. I don't give two fucking shits what you think. I love you. I love you, even when you're being a stubborn little shit about all the wrong fucking things. Your past. It happened. It happened and what you said hasn't changed a fucking thing between us. Eren, what happened that day with Zeke?" He'd hoped that in his state, Eren would spill what happened without thinking. If Eren was getting everything off his chest, now would be time to talk about this. Sometimes to heal a wound, you needed to open it further and drain the infection. Eren's memories were that infection. If his omega was going to heal, he needed to his wound open. He'd thought Eren wouldn't be as strong as he was. Shoving Levi back with a scream, his brat grabbed his hair, tearing at it, while shaking his head. Grabbing Eren's wrists, he pulled his hands down to his lap, more strands torn free in the protest "Ok. Ok. We won't talk about that. But just know, whatever happened, I will still love you" "No... I let them... they... I said yes..." "Saying yes doesn't mean it was consensual. Those monsters are no better than the ones who hurt you before" "I'm. I'm so... tired, Levi. I want this all to stop. I don't want to live like this..." Levi nodded, hesitating as he let Eren's hands go, to pull him back to him. His breathing was still out of control, his scream not helping the situation in the slightest "Ok. You're ok. I've got you... I've got you" His fatigued and broken state didn't allow Eren the escape of fainting. It felt like an eternity, then his breathing evened out. The kid finally having cried himself to sleep. Lifting Eren, he laid him back down on Hanji's bed, covering him with her blankets and making sure Eren was comfortable. Walking from Hanji's room, he only made it outside the door before his knees gave out. Falling to his hands and knees, his bitter tears dripped into the carpet. He didn't know how to tell Eren he'd betrayed him. Sitting back on his arse, he interlaced his fingers behind his head, his knees drawn to his chest as he struggled to bring himself under control. "Levi?" Standing at the top of the stairs, Hanji stared down at him. Anna wasn't in her hold, probably downstairs with Moblit's mother or Erwin. Walking down the hall, she sank down and wrapped her arms around him "Wanna talk about it?" "No" "Want me to talk to you, while you pretend to be listening but are actually off with the fairies?" "Not really" "Do you not want to talk, but actually need to and are being way too stubborn to admit it?" Levi snorted, a disgusting snot bubble popping as he did "Yeah. Some shit like that. I fucked up. I really fucked up. I don't think Eren can forgive me for what I've done" "Is this because you're out here and Eren's in there? I can smell something on you" "No... no. He... fuck, Hanji. I've done something fucking stupid" "Oooook. This thing. Did you do it to maliciously hurt him?" "No" "Did you do it to protect him?" "Yeah... but from he just said, and what Erwin said. I think I've made a mistake" "Then it'll work out" "I don't know if it will" "It will. You're just being a downer. Seriously. You live way too deeply in your head. Now, go wash your face. Erwin's gone back to work, there's not that long left in your shift. I didn't get to get my photos of Eren with Anna, so you're up" "I don't think you want photos of me" "Of course I do. You're going to marry Eren, and Eren's her Godfather... that makes you her Godmother" Levi snorted again. Fuck. He felt wrecked "Godmother?" "Yep. I'll be extra nice, and let you do the dinner dishes. Buuuuut you have to get off the floor first" "You just want free labour" "Yep. Totally. Now move it" Hanji dragged him up from the floor "You're not going to ask how Eren is?" "He's a wreck. He needs his boyfriend, and his boyfriend needs to give himself a fucking break. That's why you're staying the night. It does mean sharing a bed with Eren and I, but I'm sure there are worse things in life" "I don't know about that..." Slapping his arm, Hanji shot him a smile "It'll all be ok. Just wait and see" Even if things were ok, right now, who knew how things would play out now that Floch had Eren's statement and Zeke's murder weapon...