#i've had so much fun talking to my two irl friends about it

[snorlaxlovesme]

my problem recommending Link Click to people

clearly, i love Link Click. i find the show emotionally compelling, the characters are well-written and interesting, the complex/convoluted plot is very crunchy for my adhd brain to chew on. LOVE that. however. i have yet to find a person irl who Sees My Vision when i recommend the show to them, and i think it's the fandom's fault.

not in bad way! but i think this show is a good example of media that exists for FANS and not casual viewers.

season 1 is by far the most accessible. a straightforward story about two guys solving crime by time travelling in photos. don't mess up the past, it could mess up the future, etc etc. everything is linear, the character motivations are pretty clear, the plot is seriously gripping. the only accessibility hurdles are the piss poor subs we had to deal with and the lack of on-screen text translation. and i suppose if you don't like shows that are episode-5-level heavy then this probably isn't the show for you.

season 2 already starts off on a very niche foot with the fact that there was a pretty big spoiler (or a hint at one) in the XETROVERTHINK music video that released before the season aired. fans who knew about that video were already speculating, and by the first 30 seconds of season 2, theories were running RAMPANT. NOW everyone was intentionally looking for hints of time travel mid-season. they were predicting how and when cheng xiaoshi might die. it made an extremely confusing season FUN because even when we didn't know what the hell was going on, we could always fall back on the lu guang timeloop theory to chew on.

but if you didn't see the XETROVERTHINK video? well, you probably weren't paying as close attention to what lu guang was saying in the first 30 seconds. the shot of cheng xiaoshi dying lasted for only a second or two. blink and you miss it. if you didn't rewatch the episode, you probably wouldn't notice. in a show where so many things don't make sense, that could have just been one more to add to the pile.

cut back to all the people that I've forced to watch the show, I can say that they did NOT have the same watching experience that i had as a fun following along on tumblr. which is fine, but they do look at me like i'm insane when i try to explain that this is the most fun show ever created.

after one of my friends finished season 2 i sent him a draft of the fic i was writing for some feedback and when he got to season 2-spoiler specific part, he didn't fully understand that lu guang had gone back in time to prevent cheng xiaoshi from dying, and therefore didn't understand what i had written. he didn't have the fandom, who had been speculating about that for 12 full weeks before the reveal, so as a casual fan, the first time he received that info was in that last 2 minutes of the season, and he didn't full understand it

my younger sister has made it to yingdu, and every time i try to talk to her about it when get to talk about shiguang a lot, but i don't have much time to sit her down and show her frame by frame analyses of why the lu guang vs vein interaction in episode one looks like it might be in two different timelines. she's not seeing that there's morse code in the books or interpreting sonnets or pausing to check the eye color of characters, so when i talk to her about it we're scratching maybe 3% of what the show is truly communicating with us.

and again, it makes me look like a total headcase when i try to explain to people that this is the best show ever and so much fun because if you're not INTERACTING with the show and with the fans, mulling over the minute details in a scene or asking for a more accurate translation of something, it's like you're missing out on most of the show

i once tried to recommend my sister one of my favorite pokemon fanfics of all time. she'd read some others and seemed interested, so i sent her the link and then told her that to fully understand it she'd need to have knowledge of basically every major character in the entire pokemon anime, from kid trainers to gym leaders to Champions to villains to rivals to professors. she'd also have to know how they all relate to each other, PLUS some game characters. i sent her a list of episodes she needed to watch for character and plot relevance and links to wikipedias for other main characters. after she absorbed all this information then she could truly understand why this was the greatest fic ever!!

that's what recommending Link Click is feeling like, currently. like i want you to like this show, i want you to understand this show like i do, but that means you HAVE to be insane about it. there's no other way to appreciate it if you're not in the fandom.

[duncantashi]

wow can't believe the 2024 f1 season is done

[fillinforlater]

The Archive of Smite

This page belongs to the writer named Smite. He wrote fics starting in September of 2021 up until April 2024. In these 2,5 years, over 8.000 people followed him to read some of the craziest k-pop girl group smut out there. Almost 150 stories of sex in all kinds of positions, for many reasons, all over the world (and in outerspace), with too many kinks to count.

"When I started, I kinda wanted to become the best. I wanted my favorite writers at the time - Levi, Peach, Sins, and many more - to know that I could write as good as they can. I wanted to go wilder and crazier."

Smite, though ambitious, was also stupid and naive. At roughly the same time he started writing, two other community legends began their careers. IZ and Kaede crushed everything in their sight, especially the former becoming an absolute legend.

"Writing was fun. At times, it was escapism from everyday worries. At other times, it was fulfillment of fantasies I could never reach. Mostly though, it was just horny. BFH that just became words. If you go through my Masterlist, you might see which idols had some random heights or were just... Always on my hot list."

Smite never really stopped writing, not for long stretches that is. It didn't really occur to him that there might be a sudden, drastic reason to stop. He considered doing so anyways. Something about writing porn about irl people without them knowing or wanting - needless to say, it is an odd hobby. Nevertheless, he enjoyed it amd the community it brought with it.

"I fucking love these guys. So many hilarious peoplefrom all over the world. One became like my best friend, a rock during my emotional struggles. Another was my boyfriend for a short time. Man, I screwed up with him kekw. There are too many to mention. I've had long talks with some, others just came by and listened to me mald or something. I love you all, some of you I consider true friends - part of my soul - and I feel connected, even if you are thousands of miles away."

2024 started stressful for Smite. The pressure of Uni started to collapse on him. Even the thought of big kpop concerts wasn't enough to cheer him up. Luckily though, there was this girl. Sweet, kind, caring and in the same position. Soon, he had found something that seemed impossible. She was in love with him and he in love with her. And when everything unraveled.

"I stopped writing. I burried my drafts. I finished only one story and released it way later. I'm sorry I didn't announce it properly, but I just felt that this smut writing career was over. I don't regret it - I gained something beautiful I want to keep for the rest of my life. She is at least as pretty as Minju, so I call that the biggest win imaginable lol."

So no more smuts from Smite?

"99% no"

No more fanfictions/girl group stories in general?

"Eh, 80% no. Still some unfinished angst that I would love y'all to read tho"

Will you ever reach those 150 fics?

"We will see. In this count there are fics with less than 1000 words. I might just sneeze and finish it kekw"

Any fic you regret not writing?

"Not really? Maybe a proper ending for Starship: Horizon? Or yet another Minju fic? Futa stuff? Gaeul angst x female reader? Or how about a fic with 69 different idols at once? Who but me would dare to write something so stupid?"

Do you think you reached your initial goal?

"Do I consider myself the GOAT? No. That title belongs to either Peach, Levi or IZ. But I know that of my now 8.700 followers some consider me their favorite writer. I'm flattered and thank you very much for reading amd enjoying my work."

Now for the most important question: does this post mean you are finally leaving the community behind for good? Is this your last hoorah?

"..."

"Never."

[steddieas-shegoes]

Request: wrong number au, Eddie texts Gareth something personal but puts in 1 wrong number & ends up texting Steve. The two of them hit it off & start chatting & then when they meet IRL they are completely head over heels in love & its cute as fuck

MY LOVE MY LOVE MY LOVE!!! LOVE A GOOD WRONG NUMBER AU!!! I can't believe I've never written it before now. I also had to actually include Gareth because I am actually obsessed with him lately, and I just think it's really neat that we can make these characters our own. This was such a fun and cute request! I didn't do the inappropriate route because I thought this was hilarious so sorry about that. I made up for it with something else! - Mickala ❤️

----------------------------------------------------------

GARE BEAR! You won’t believe it but i dropped my phone in a sewer. Lost everything.

He had never been so happy about having his closest friends’ numbers memorized. His phone was somewhere under the streets of Chicago, floating through dirty water and sewage, dying a slow and painful death.

He texted everyone else one at a time, let them know he had a new number and to completely delete the old one because it would never be recovered.

They were used to things like this happening; He lost his phone annually at this point and it was cheaper just to get a new number than transfer everything to a new one.

He went to dial Wayne, the old school part of him insisting on phone calls instead of texts still, when Gareth’s name popped up with a new text.

Not sure who Gare Bear is, but sorry about your phone. That’s shitty.

Eddie let out a loud laugh.

did you mean to make a pun?

Did it make you laugh?

yes

Then yes.

Eddie sat down on a bench, entirely focused on his conversation with this stranger.

Did you find your Gare Bear yet?

Not yet but i think i’m pretty happy talking to you for now

Smooth, Eddie.

Admittedly, he was in a hell of a dry spell.

Going on almost two years, actually.

A little flirting with a stranger never hurt anybody, not when he clearly needed some practice.

Not sure if your Gare Bear would like it very much though

Wait, what?

Eddie stared at his phone, trying to comprehend what that could mean. Why would Gareth not want him talking to a stranger?

I hope you find your partner though!

Oh.

Oh!

Eddie hit the call button in the corner before he could even register what he was doing.

“Hello?”

Oh no, he sounded hot.

“Hi. So, Gareth is very much not my partner. He probably actually wishes I would really forget his number,” Eddie rushed out.

“Um. Okay?”

“He’s been my best friend for ten years and he thinks I’m a mess. Not a partner,” Eddie further clarified.

“Got it. Not a partner.”

“Yes, exactly.”

They stayed silent for a moment before Eddie coughed.

“I’m Eddie, by the way.”

“Steve. Sorry about your phone, seriously that sucks,” he sounded genuinely apologetic, like he personally threw Eddie’s phone in the sewer.

“Oh, no big deal. I lose my phone more often than I go out with someone,” Eddie said.

Why did he say that?

Steve let out a laugh and it was like music.

Eddie couldn’t help the smile taking over his face at his laugh, already knew he wasn’t gonna be able to let this guy go without learning more about him.

“So you’re, what? Celibate?” Steve asked.

“Far from it. Well, maybe not far from it. Temporarily, maybe. It’s been a while,” Eddie admitted.

“How long?” Steve asked, a loud bang coming from his end of the phone. “Sorry, I had to go outside for some privacy.”

Eddie wasn’t going to read into that. He wasn’t.

“Two years give or take. I mean I’m not counting shitty dates that ended before they got worse. So, yeah. Two years.”

“Been a year for me, but. Yeah, I get it. My last relationship didn’t end on the best terms. She decided I was too in love with her I guess,” Steve sighed, voice sounding pained.

She.

Steve was probably straight.

There was no way he’d be lucky enough for Steve to like men.

Or for Steve to like him.

“I can’t really imagine breaking up with someone because they loved me too much. I’m usually the one who falls too hard,” Eddie admitted.

“Yeah, well, same here,” Steve sounded sad, a bit withdrawn.

Eddie wanted to hear him laugh again.

“I doubt either of us have ever fallen as hard as my phone did down a drain,” Eddie said sadly.

Steve let out a loud laugh and Eddie smiled.

“This might sound crazy, but I’m kind of glad your phone decided to live in the sewers,” Steve said when he finally calmed down. “And maybe a little too happy that you typed your friend’s number wrong.”

“Oh really? Why’s that?”

Was this flirting? Was he successfully having a flirtatious conversation with a potentially very hot guy?

“So I can be bold and ask if you maybe wanted to meet up somewhere?” Steve asked hesitantly.

“So you’re in Chicago?” Eddie asked.

“Yeah. You?”

“For the last five years, yeah.”

“You busy tonight?”

Eddie’s heart stopped.

He was really going to meet up with a stranger just because he liked his laugh and hoped he was hot.

He’d done more with less.

“Yeah, actually. I’m getting dinner with this guy I accidentally texted,” Eddie smirked, looking down at his feet.

“Dinner? What a lucky guy. Where are you going?” Steve sounded amused.

“Well, it depends on what he likes. I’ve been craving some pierogies. Ever been to Staropolska?” Eddie asked.

Gareth’s family owned it, and he used to eat there two or three times a week while they were in college, usually working off his bill in the kitchen doing dishes after.

He hadn’t been in a couple months, work keeping him busy and his budget being pretty tight when he moved into a studio apartment by himself.

He had enough to treat himself tonight though.

“The one on Milwaukee? Yeah. One of my favorite places to get devolay,” Steve sounded surprised that he knew it.

“You won’t believe this, but the friend I was trying to text when I got you, his family owns that place.”

“No way! Then we have to. We owe it to the guy who has almost my exact phone number,” Steve responded.

“Meet you there at seven?” Eddie asked, suddenly more nervous.

“Seven sounds good.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

Steve giggled. Eddie fell in love.

“We should probably hang up.”

“Should we?” Eddie asked, not wanting to stop talking to him yet.

“Yes, I have to do my hair. Gotta impress the guy who drops his phone in the sewer and texts strangers about it.”

“He sounds like a loser. Don’t put too much effort in,” Eddie sighed. “But okay. See you at seven.”

“See you then.”

They both stayed on the line for a minute.

“Okay. For real. Bye,” Steve laughed.

“Bye, Stevie.”

He hung up before he could convince himself to talk to him for the rest of the afternoon.

He breathed out a loud sigh, smiling as he realized he had a date.

He dialed Gareth’s real number immediately.

“Gareth, I have a date!”

“What is this number, Eddie?”

“Oh, I dropped my phone in the sewers. Not important. I have a date!”

“Jesus Christ. Okay. Come over then.”

—-----------------------------------

Gareth had been his pre-date hype man since high school, though he wasn’t very good at it.

Mostly he calmed Eddie’s nerves and helped make sure his hair didn’t look like he just woke up, which was often its unfortunate state of being.

“So, you don’t know this guy,” Gareth said from his bed.

“No.”

“And you talked for like two seconds and decided you’re in love with him,” he continued.

“Yes.”

“And you think this is totally normal and sane?”

“I didn’t say that. But we just��I dunno. We clicked. I haven’t been that at ease with someone in a long time. It felt natural,” Eddie fell back on his bed, starfishing so his arm and leg hit Gareth’s legs.

“Dude, I’m not discouraging it. I’m happy for you. I just don’t want you to be disappointed if it isn’t as easy when you meet,” Gareth said softly.

“Yeah, thanks. I think it’ll be okay, though.”

“Alright. Tell babcia I’m coming by tomorrow for lunch.”

Eddie sat up and gave Gareth a quick hug.

“Thanks Gare Bear!”

—-------------------------------------------

He arrived 20 minutes early so he could sneak in the back to say hi to Gareth’s grandmother, who still insisted on getting her hands on the food every day for a couple of hours despite being nearly 80 years old.

“Babcia!”

“Eddie! My kochany! You forget to visit and I forget what you look like!” she rushed over, flour and oil stains all over her apron.

He should have kept some distance so his shirt didn’t get ruined, but he ignored the part of his brain telling him to look perfect for his date so he could get a hug.

“You know I have to watch my money,” he said against her shoulder.

“And you know I feed you for free if you clean up after yourself. No excuse,” she pulled away and looked him over. “You look handsome. Why?”

Eddie put his hands on his hips.

“What? Don’t I always look handsome?”

“Of course, but this is different. Your hair is smooth and you smell like the perfume store,” she smirked. “Is it a girl? Or a boy? Or a someone?”

“It’s a boy. We’ve never met in person, so I wanted to make a good first impression,” he admitted.

“Oh! How lovely! What’s his name?” She was back to kneading dough, but kept her eyes on him.

“Steve. He actually has been here before, loves the devolay?”

Babcia froze.

“Steve? Oh goodness.” She turned to the sink and washed her hands, muttering under her breath about something.

Eddie’s heart sank. Babcia didn’t seem happy about this.

“What’s wrong? You know him?”

“Oh, yes.”

“Is he not a good guy? Has he been mean to you? I’ll call and cancel right now,” he insisted, reaching for his phone in his pocket.

“No, no. Nothing like that. He is a very sweet boy. He got broken up with in this restaurant a few months back. Tore me to pieces. He just sat here for hours crying. I moved him to a corner booth for his privacy and he left me a $100 tip and ever since then when he comes in I make sure to give him as many szarlotka as he wants.” She touched Eddie’s shoulder. “You be good to him. He has a nice heart.”

Eddie’s mind raced.

Why had Steve agreed to come here for a date if this is where he’d been broken up with? Why did he even bother coming back if it held such bad memories?

What if he didn’t see this as a date?

The front door chimed and he heard the employee at the front welcome someone.

“He will be good for you, drogi.”

Eddie nodded before making his way to the front, stopping in his tracks when he saw the most beautiful man he’d ever seen standing at the podium, talking to the employee with a smile.

“That’s him,” Babcia said from behind him. “Go get him.”

She shoved him forward, nearly making him trip, which caught the attention of Steve.

He looked over with a curious smile, and then realization seemed to hit him.

“Steve?” Eddie managed to ask, loud enough to be heard over the few full tables in the restaurant.

“Eddie?” he asked back, hesitantly moving towards him.

“I, um,” Eddie started, then cleared his throat. “I usually sit by the window, if that’s okay?”

“That’s perfect,” Steve nodded.

It was cliche, like the room around them closed into just them existing together, like the stars had aligned exactly right for this moment to happen.

They sat down at the table Eddie usually sat at, staring across the table at each other in slight awe.

Eddie really hoped that Steve was having the same feelings he was.

But one thing was stopping Eddie from being completely enraptured.

“Is this a date?” he asked suddenly.

“What?” Steve seemed surprised by his question. “I mean, yeah. I’d like it to be. I thought it was.”

Eddie nodded once, but remained quiet, thinking.

“Oh God, it wasn’t, was it? You were just being nice. What is it with this restaurant? If I didn’t love the food so much or babcia, I would never step foot here again, I swear-”

Eddie put his hand on Steve’s to calm him down, frown on his face.

“Woah. What?”

“I just. I don’t have the best history with dates here and I guess I didn’t learn the first time something bad happened, and now I’m being too much too fast again in this place and-”

Eddie pulled Steve’s hand up to his face, placing a soft kiss to his knuckles.

“Stevie, calm down. This is a date. I’ll have as many dates here as you want to to get rid of whatever negative stuff you associate with this place. Babcia would hate that I ruined this place for you,” he said quietly.

Steve seemed to relax at his words.

And if you wanna tell me about what happened, you can. If it’ll help,” Eddie offered.

Before Steve could reply, Gareth’s cousin, Ben, came to take their order.

It was a quick order, both knowing exactly what they wanted, and then Steve looked back at him.

“It’s just. My last girlfriend, who I was with for almost three years, dumped me here. It was kind of out of the blue for me, and I had a really hard time that night.”

Eddie felt his heart break.

How could someone do that to Steve? He didn’t need to know him better to know that he didn’t deserve that, especially not if babcia had taken him under her wing so quickly.

“She must be awful to have let you go like that,” Eddie squeezed Steve’s hand in his, resisting the urge to go to his side of the table and hold him.

Steve shrugged and looked down at their hands.

“I mean, I should have known. She was never much for romance or spending time together that didn’t involve work or school. I was looking at engagement rings and she was looking at apartments to get away from me. I was just…really blinded by what I thought was love,” Steve smiled sadly at him.

“It wasn’t?”

“Well, it may have been a type of love. It was more comfort than anything. She was kind of all I had for the first year we were together, and I think I just ignored how unhealthy that was for both of us. And then I met Robin in college, and she was like the opposite of Nancy in every way. A few months before Nancy broke up with me, I told her that Robin’s parents kicked her out when she came out to them and that she needed a place to stay until we graduated. She agreed, then never made any attempt at getting to know her. And I didn’t read into it, Nancy isn’t like, super talkative with people she isn’t already close with, and Robin just kinda stayed to herself when Nancy was home.” Steve took a shaky breath. “But it turns out she didn’t bother getting to know her because she already knew she was gonna break up with me and leave the apartment to me and Robin, so.she just. Didn’t bother. Robin warned me, but I didn’t listen.”

Eddie wanted to cry.

Steve’s voice was full of pain, but not in a way that told him he still loved her, or still hoped they would get back together. More that she broke a part of him that he still hadn’t been able to fix no matter how hard he tried or wanted to.

“Was she jealous?” Eddie asked, trying so hard to understand what could have happened.

“I dunno. I mean, Robin’s a lesbian, and I definitely never had feelings for her anyway. Nancy was always so sure of herself, I can’t imagine she’d be jealous.”

“It sounds like she didn’t appreciate you very much.”

“What do you mean?” Steve didn’t sound mad, just curious.

“Well, she didn’t even make an effort to get to know your best friend, right? And it sounds like she was too busy focusing on her future to even think about what you looked like in it, and instead of trying to plan it with you, she made a future for her. She sounds a bit selfish,” Eddie shrugged.

Instead of being upset, Steve laughed.

God, Eddie loved that laugh.

“Sorry, it’s just that you sound exactly like Robin. You’d probably be two peas in a pod.”

“Tell me about her,” Eddie genuinely wanted to know more about the person who kept Steve going.

Their food arrived in the middle of the story of how Steve and Robin met, but it didn’t stop him from continuing.

Eddie listened with a fond smile, filling in Steve’s gaps of silence as he chewed a bite of food with questions or something related to what he’d been talking about.

It was easy.

It was fun.

Halfway through the meal, Steve’s foot rested against one of his and it felt like electricity shooting through his bones.

Eddie told him about Gareth, and his family who had pretty much adopted him when they both moved here from a small town in Indiana. He talked about his uncle who raised him for most of his life, who visited every Christmas despite being on a really tight budget.

Time passed quickly, but not at all.

They hadn’t realized how long they’d been sitting there until babcia came out without her apron to hand deliver an apple tart.

“You boys enjoy. I’ll see you both soon!” she said as she smacked a kiss on top of each of their heads.

Both of them blushed, but tried to cover it up with a bite of food.

As they finished, Steve looked outside to see how dark it was, how few people were left walking the streets.

“Guess we should head out,” he muttered, sounding like that was the last thing he wanted to do.

“Would you wanna come to my place? We don’t have to do anything except talk, I promise. I just don’t really want this to end yet,” Eddie suggested.

“Really? I haven’t bored you?” Steve asked, just a hint of self-deprecation in his tone.

Eddie shook his head.

“Not at all. I’d really like to get a chance to love you the way you deserve,” Eddie said.

Steve’s eyes widened.

Eddie should back up, should say something less intense.

But if this ruined it, then at least he said what he was thinking.

“You think you could love me?” Steve asked, barely more than a whisper.

“I think I already do a little,” Eddie admitted.

Steve blinked at him for a moment, mouth slightly agape.

“I need to kiss you,” he finally said.

“Now? Here?” Eddie smiled.

“Now. Here.”

“I won’t stop you.”

Steve stood from the table and stood in front of Eddie, placing both hands on his cheeks and leaning down.

Their lips brushed in a barely-there kiss, softer than Eddie expected.

Steve stayed there for a moment, eyes closed, and Eddie couldn’t help the words tumbling from him.

“You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.”

If someone had said it to him, he would think they were just trying to get him into their bed, but that wasn’t the case here and he hoped Steve knew that.

“People used to call me a charmer, but I don’t think I’m half as good at it as you,” Steve whispered, his breath ghosting against Eddie’s lips.

“Just honest.”

“Take me home,” Steve said, opening his eyes and staring at Eddie, his eyes glowing with something close to love.

—-------------------------------------

They stayed up all night, never doing more than kissing and mapping out patterns on each others’ skin.

They talked about everything, even the painful parts of life, even the parts that they hadn’t shared with anyone else.

It didn’t make any sense that someone who had been a stranger not even 24 hours ago could already mean so much.

When the sun started to shine through the curtains of Eddie’s apartment, Steve sighed and buried his face in Eddie’s neck.

“I have to go to work,” though he burrowed his entire body further into the bed and Eddie’s side.

“You could call in sick,” Eddie suggested, pressing a kiss to the top of Steve’s head.

“Robin would kill me.”

He and Robin worked together as team teachers at an elementary school. When one of them missed, it left the other with 34 kids alone.

Plus, Steve loved his job, worked hard to be a teacher, and hated missing a day if he didn’t need to.

“Maybe you could bring Robin here after work? I can make dinner?” Eddie’s job was pretty easy, marketing for an Indie record label based out of New York remotely really kept him busy for a couple hours a day and the rest of the time was spent writing his own music.

Steve sat up and looked down at him, his hair ruffled from Eddie running his fingers through it for the last eight hours.

“You’d wanna meet Robin?”

“Yeah, if you want me to. She sounds like fun.”

Steve started crying.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to make you cry. Good job, Munson, already ruined something good,” Eddie was reaching for a tissue from his bedside table.

“No, no, I’m sorry. I’m just tired and emotional. And just. It means a lot that you’d wanna meet her,” Steve said between gasps for air as he continued to cry.

“Of course I do. I could even invite Gareth over, too, if you want. He won’t believe that our date went well,” Eddie joked, brushing the tears away from Steve’s cheeks.

“I’d love to meet him,” Steve said, sniffling.

“When can you guys get here?”

“Usually we’re done by four, but sometimes we stay later to finish grading stuff. Maybe we should say six?”

“Got it. Any allergies?”

“Robin is allergic to shellfish. She says she is. I think she just doesn’t like them,” Steve rolled his eyes.

“No shellfish, got it. Any preferences, my love?”

Steve blushed at the term of endearment, looking down before he leaned in to kiss Eddie softly.

“Anything you make will be great.”

“You wanna borrow some clothes for work?” Eddie asked.

“Do you have any business casual stuff?”

Eddie gagged.

“Unfortunately, it’s required for the job sometimes. Far left of the closet should have something,” he nodded towards the small closet by the bathroom.

Eddie watched as Steve walked over and picked out his only pair of khaki pants and a navy button down. Steve looked back at him and winked before he nodded towards the bathroom.

“Could use some help working the shower if you’re willing to,” he smirked.

Eddie jumped up from the bed and ran into the bathroom, ignoring the way Steve was laughing.

“The hot water is tricky sometimes. I should probably get in there too to make sure it stays hot,” Eddie said as he stripped off his pants.

“Definitely. Wouldn’t want me to get cold,” Steve put a hand on his shoulder to slow him down. “Kiss me?”

Eddie leaned in to kiss him slowly, letting his tongue brush along his lips just to get a taste.

“Okay?” Eddie checked in.

“Yeah. You remember what you said last night? About loving me like I deserve?”

Eddie nodded.

“I want you to. And I want to love you back.”

“I think we can arrange that.”

[jennilah]

2024 roundup!

Honestly, I don't know how to start this one. Before looking into my diary for specifics, I know this year was one of the most emotionally difficult years for me in recent memory. And yet, I still just want to take this moment to look back and reflect

cw depression symptoms, eating issues, medical talk, death talk

I started off this year getting more tattoos, and that was fun. I still love them, just taking a small break until I get my next one

I also got to check out Igloofest, which was so enjoyable that I plan on going at least one or two days again this year. A few years ago I started going to these music festivals, and something about them just really hits me. Something about being able to wander around and hang out somewhere quieter or less crowded or grab some food at any point makes it a very "relaxing" party atmosphere.

Then my first temporary layoff occurred pretty early in the year, because the industry still, to this day, is still being affected by the hollywood strikes last year. People are still struggling to find stable jobs because of it, on top of things like AI starting to replace artists in front of my very eyes. it was pretty difficult for me, as everyone else, as you could imagine.

Also at around the same time, my parents lost a good friend of theirs suddenly from undiagnosed cancer. While I didn't know him very well personally, that was immediately also just... awful. Just tragic. And in the background, a few other people I care about were also struggling with cancer themselves.

I spent a lot of my "break" in the worst depressive period I think Ive ever gone through in my life. Not diagnosed, just when thinking about how hard it was to do anything other than sleep all day. I lost so much weight from being unable to eat without getting sick, if I had any appetite. things were very bad.

The fandom and all of my other friends also helped a lot. I had a massive output of fanart this year, with most of it being drawn during the first layoff. People being so kind and supportive and joining in the Coffinshipping fun with me helped keep me sane, and gave me something to look forward to every day.

Once the weather finally started getting warmer up here, around March, I also started taking myself out on little daily walks around my neighborhood, and checked out local museums. That also helped stave away the extreme depressive thoughts.

I did manage to do something I've always wanted to do, and that was fly to Manitoba to hang out with my online friend of 10 years, Jen of riseofthefallenone fame. Finally getting to hug her irl and watch movies and go to museums for about a week was definitely one of the highlights of this year. And while it didn't cure my slump, she can attest that I was still struggling heavily with food and stuff, it really helped a lot.

Late spring, my mental health started stabilizing enough that I was able to start doing things I really love again, like go to the movies and draw even more and write fics, and most importantly- eat like normal.

I was able to see the total Solar Eclipse with friends. Anyone else who was able to witness it probably understands when I say that was another highlight of my year. It was just breathtaking, and a little bucketlist win that I really needed while I was still unsure if I was going to have a job to return to at all.

By June, I was still just being wracked with stress waiting for my job to call me back as I watched my emergency rent funds fizzle away. I spent a lot of quiet time outside enjoying the nice weather, just trying to keep my mind off of things.

I drew more. Wrote more fics. Got more tattoos.

Then, my job DID call me back. and I was so happy!

kind of!

because the MOMENT my job called me back, I had to take a sick day to get an abscess removed from my leg. yeah, I know. gross. but holy fuck, that shit hurt like a motherfucker. I felt like everything was finally turning around, and then I was in immense physical pain every day before and after recovery.

also, the medication was killing me.

the 10 days I was on antibiotics was torture. after spending most of the year so far struggling to eat, the side effect of my medication was really bad nausea, so that set me back again

and changing the bandage alone every day hurt so fucking much until that shit finally healed up after a month

Then the political debates started. and that started affecting me subtly in the background.

Also every global thing, pretty much.

Then my grandfather's cancer was starting to get worse.

Meanwhile, finally back at work, I was working on something that was so stressful that the extent of how stressed out I was is only really hitting me now in hindsight

One fun thing: I was able to make that Strahm cosplay that I really wanted to, and I had a lot of fun at Montreal comic con! I am going to describe that as a brief reprieve from everything else that was going on.

Shortly after, with a fuck ton of surrounding dramas that I don't care to describe in detail because it's too personal, my grandfather passed away.

He's the first person I've lost in my family that really affected me like this. It's been difficult.

I continued working. Summer came and went. I attended Piknic Electronik and Ilesoniq, which were fun. Everything else from that time just feels like a weird blur. I was really feeling so overwhelmed by everything by that point, a lot of days were just spent crying and trying to feel normal. like someone else was living this year, not me.

I leaned on my friends a lot this year. They really helped me feel sane, kept my mind off of everything terrible, and generally just made me feel happy when I wasn't.

I'm reading through my diary to recall events this year, and nearly every entry by this point had a breakdown. I wasn't doing well. Work was stressing me out, the world was stressing me out, the internet was stressing me out, loneliness was stressing me out, it was overwhelming.

I finally managed to find a therapist. Even just knowing therapy was on the horizon and I was finally going to get some help was tremendous for me finding some optimism again

Therapy also came at the perfect time, because I was at the "crying every day" point of depressive/anxiety symptoms again and my second temp layoff of the year was approaching on the horizon, and I really didn't want it to be as bad as last time.

Also come Fall, I discovered hockey. I finally went to my first game after living in Canada for 7 years, and as you may have noticed, I got hooked. I've been going to games and watching them on tv/online and I've been having a genuinely great time with it!

Things still felt tense though. The election was coming up. We were all feeling it.

Therapy was needed.

The election. You know what happened. I was called back into work the next day after the results came in. Same day, I was told I'd have to learn french in order to continue living in quebec soon. I have a learning disorder, language was always difficult for me, and this was suddenly dropped onto my lap with no warning. I had to be a functioning worker after that.

Then, my parents' neighborhood lit on fire.

Yes I'm serious. Not even a full week after all that, a record breaking forest fire raged for 2 weeks in my home town and my parents had to evacuate. There was a fear for a while that they were going to lose everything. Their brand new house that they only just moved into last year.

Between all of those things all at once, you could kiss my appetite and ability to keep food down goodbye again.

But thanks to the help of what might have been hundreds of firefighters from both in and outside of town and state, every single home was saved.

Ever since, things have smoothed out a bit. Work stabilized. I have been given news that our studio should have enough work to keep everyone employed well into next year. Finally, there's a light at the end of the Hollywood strike tunnel. We're not completely free of industry stress... there's still AI and quebec tax credit drama thats threatening to ruin my life and everything I've worked for... but I'm TRYING to not catastrophize things before they happen. (And I'm begging people... please be more forgiving to sequels and remakes that make you seeth and froth with rage. They're giving human artists much needed jobs. Please.. stand behind us right now.)

A lovely string of movies came out that I was able to enjoy!

Red One, Sonic 3, and Long Distance (well, not available in the US yet) all came out in quick succession, and I was able to see those with loved ones!

When movies I work on come out, it feels like my gallery exhibit opening after months or even years of anticipation. Finally! I get to show everyone my art! Sonic 3 especially was super special. I got to see that not only with excited, cheering adult fans, but I also got to see it with my parents and happy, giggling children. Both experiences were special for different reasons.

This was probably one of the hardest christmases I've ever spent home. With Grandpa gone, it was the first christmas where it felt like something crucial was missing.

With cancer increasingly present in even more elderly family members, I'm anticipating another extremely difficult year ahead of me. Knowing christmas is only going to get more emotional and unrecognizable for the rest of my life has been very, very hard for me to compartmentalize

I'm going to continue leaning on my friends and family. I'm definitely going to be leaning on my therapist more.

I don't really have much in terms of a resolution this year. I just want to feel like myself and not someone desperately trying to feel like myself

[jellybeanium124]

pathetic vent post lol

so the thursday before last, one of my coworkers told me she's quitting bc she got a job in the field she wants to have a career in. I was happy for her and told her so, but I also felt kind of sad, because she's a woman close in age to me and I've been thinking we could be friends if I wasn't technically her boss for a little while now. so finally near the end of our shifts (we were closing) I buck up and ask if her she'd want to exchange contact info and stay in touch and hang out after she left.

and y'all she looked so happy and excited to be asked that. absolutely 0 hints that her delighted response wasn't genuine. so she puts her number in my phone, and even takes a silly picture for the contact pic, and I send a test text and she responds to confirm it's her correct number.

on monday I text her about hanging out later in the week, with ideas. on tuesday I text her again, with new ideas if she didn't like my first ones. I didn't mean to double text two days in a row.

nothing.

I wait till yesterday and send her one last text, explaining that I really do wanna be friends, I am more chill outside of work and she's only seen Work Nina if that's what she's worried about, but that I don't wanna bother her.

it's been over 24 hours now, and nothing. part of me wonders if she changed her mind and blocked my number.

it's just really disheartening because I've had another person string me along and then not respond/continually cancel on me pretty recently. after my college friend group broke up thanks to the serial sexual predator (which is a whole nother story, dw he didn't do anything to me, in fact he refused to talk to me the first time we met when I introduced myself and tried to make polite small talk, and I realized several months later that he didn't engage with me at all because he didn't wanna fuck me 🙃) things have been kind of dire in the irl friends department and it's sad and pathetic and I thought finally here was a girl I really connected with, and she liked gossiping with me at work, and she seemed really really excited at the possibility of being real friends with me, and then nope... not a single response to any of my texts. zip nada zilch.

it's just hard... I was basically socially rejected by everyone in my film program at my uni, then I finally started to make friends at the jewish club and a serial predator with an apartment full of guns who sells stolen lego sets on ebay and does cocaine ruins that, and then I'm at work and now that I'm a manager I'm the boss of most people there and I wouldn't be close friends with most of them anyways and the one girl who I think I could be really close friends with fucking ghosts me after I was brave enough to ask if she'd wanna be friends. it's been like five straight years of rejection for me. I always had friends in k-12, I wasn't a "popular kid" but I was well liked among the venn diagram of gays, nerds, theater kids, and band kids and I had a lot of friends in high school. I don't fucking know what happened. and now I'm on meds that are finally giving me energy and happy chemicals so I wanna go out, I wanna do stuff, I wanna walk around, and I don't wanna be an apartment slug anymore but I don't have anyone to do anything with and there's only so much fun you can have by yourself. and I'm still too shy to go to a bar alone because I know I'll stand in the corner paralyzed by social anxiety. I'm trying bumble bff rn but I'm so shit at responding to people and I kinda hate myself for it and I'm trying to do better but I keep not responding to people for too long and yeah maybe my ex-coworker is stuck in that cycle too idk.

oh yeah and the whole past year of antisemitism makes everything worse because I'm deeply realistically afraid that any goyim I meet are going to be hateful hamasniks <3 so that's a fun lil bonus.

jesus man... idfk. it's just shitty. it's just fucking shitty.

[smoshkidtv]

VIDCON 2024 THOUGHTS

hiii!! this will be a VERY long post detailing some of my favorite parts of attending vidcon this year! all of it will be under the cut but i'll post my main takeaway here:

i feel very fortunate to have been able to go to vidcon considering the absolute golden era of smosh that we're in! being able to meet the whole cast was amazing and something i will cherish forever.

BUT something i will cherish much more fondly is getting to meet the friends i made through watching smosh! i don't have many friends irl who watch smosh (besides me yapping about them to my partner), so finding a community online who loves them as much as i do is amazing. the fact i got to meet and hang out with them despite our distance is truly a blessing that i will never forget. for those of you reading this post, you know who you are, and i love you guys so much!!💕

thursday, 6/27 - i was so nervous i could barely sleep! not only was i going to the smosh m&g, i would also be meeting my online smosh friends for the first time irl!

- we got to watch anthony's ISADW matpat live, and it was so fun and informative! i love listening to matpat talk and shoot the shit with anthony ^^ - i watched smosh the movie for the first time while waiting in line for the smosh m&g! surprisingly funny movie (with some really cringey parts ofc lol), i'd give it a solid 6/10!

- the smosh m&g wasn't until 4:30pm but we lined up early since tommy posted on the smosh ig story that the first 25 or so people in line would get a free smosh hoodie! i did end up getting one, and it's a smosh essentials hoodie in brown (seems to be a vidcon exclusive since the website only shows a black and white version!)

- i got to meet smosh and record them on my 3ds! i've already posted the gif version of the video, but here's the version with audio! (favorite bits: spencer being amazed by my 3ds, shayne saying "impressive," ian pointing at my purple wolf socks, and damien saying i had immense aura!)

- here's another version that's a selfie! i couldn't upload the video version, but some highlights: ian going "woaahhh 3ds" and chanse recording me recording him! (my hand was so shaky lol)

- of course, my photos with the whole cast! (spencer didnt get the memo that we were supposed to be doing a cute photo afterwards LOL)

friday, 6/28 - woke up super early to make it to the smosh live: vidcon edition panel!

- my friends and i all got dressed as characters from "that damn neighbor," and i got to be their cletus! we were even featured on the smosh ig story ^^

- we got a shoutout during the panel! it was so awesome for them to recognize us and dub us as "the neighborhood!" - THEY ASKED MY QUESTION FOR IAN AT THE PANEL!! i was lowkey freaking out and i loved the response he gave! also, i submitted another question for ian that said "has anyone say next to you at lunch yet?" (my other two friends got their questions for trevor and angela answered as well!!) - we rushed over to the smosh mouth live panel right afterwards (for those wondering what the panel was about, they talked about boobs lol)

saturday, 6/29 - went to hank and john green's panel, they're really funny and it was cool to see the two people who taught me science and history growing up lol

- we were heading to mari's m&g and got surprised by all of ogsog being there! i almost teared up in front of mari just connecting to her as one of the only WOC i watched growing up in the early days of youtube ^^

- we made it to the live "hotdog is a sandwich" panel for mythical kitchen! the whole cast was there and they were super funny ^^

so yeah. vidcon was so fun and i was very fortunate to meet my childhood heroes. i love my friends and i love smosh <3

[laugtherhyena]

What are some of you're favourite Sprite edits you've made Whether that be this year, or any over years you've been in the sprite editing business

Ok so I've made A LOT of edits over the years so it took a lil while for me to sort out the favorites and why exactly, but here it is so get ready for some rambling!

First things first i gotta say this isn't really organized from the one i like the most and least, i like all of these edits a whole lot and i really don't think i can pick one or two to be the favorite.

So let's start from the start (sorta) i have to give a spot to my Fantasy Au twins edits, it would be illegal to not put them in this list

The Sdra2 Fantasy Au was one of the first things i made in the fandom and i was attached to it for a long while. These are actually the 4th version of their sprites, out of all them only the 3rd had a full gallery of sprites and trust me they were complex since on top of posting i even made different tails and ears to move around depending on the emotion of the sprite.

Even tho i never finished this 4th take on them I'm pretty happy with the redesign (since as i grew older i realized some of my choices were questionable and i really should have thought more before just going with it, just keep in mind i was a dumb 14-15 year old then) and the improvement on graphical quality because not only does it show how much i improved in editing but also because editing the fantasy twins were my first really hard edits and i was always happy with how well i was able to translate their weird little designs to sprite form.

The Fantasy Au as a whole had a lot of edits with a bunch of complicated details that i never finshed and although I don't like them as much as the twins i do feel like they deserve to be shown somehere so have this pile of lizards, undead firemen and two human girls.

(fun fact; i didn't know how to add textures back then so see those scales on the dragons? I made them all by hand-)

Next one on the list has gotta be the Nijiue siblings! Crazy to think these guys are only 2-3 years old like it feels like they've been with me for ao much longer!

These guys where my first try at making Oc sprites since before all i did were Au stuff and they're very very dear to me, as you can probably guess by the amount of spites an different iterations i made of them over the years. While there are a few things i could improve upon them if i were to remake their edits nowadays, i never felt a strong need to do so because as it is their sprites hold up well imo so remaking them feels unnecessary to me.

And you know I can't really talk about them without mentioning the Voidswap Au and a couple tumblr blogs owned by friends of mine. After Voidswap's cancelation i didn't thought I'd ever use these guys for anything so to think that nowadays there's so many people who not only know these characters but care for them a lot out of seeing them in Asoot and Dfta more recently really fills me with joy! I'm glad y'all enjoy my silly siblings so much and obviously huge thanks to the mods for wanting to include them in their stories, I really couldn't be more thankful for that!

And since we're talking about the fam, let me add Mako to the list as an honorable mention of sorts, a i'm still very happy with how i made her adult designs especially the whole closed trenchcoat and open trenchcoat thing she has going on and how i was able to cary out the heart motif on both of them :]

This next one is one of my newer edits + a pretty simple one which is this Irl Sora design i made for mod Bubbles around early this year.

Honestly, I don't even know how to explain why i like it this much? Maybe it's because Sora is one of the characters from Sdra2 i still decently enjoy or because i had a fun time coming up with her design. I had in mind that i wanted something plain and simple just like her in-game one, just adapted to a more adult look. Rolled up sleeves to resemble her uniform's ones and a scarf to bring back the spark of red her old design had, i also gave her the short hair that post game Yuki has because it's still her body at the end of the day + i think butch-ish Sora looks pretty good :]

From simplicity we jump back into weirdness with these last ones because obviously i wouldn't leave my girls out of this list, what did you guys even expect?

Favoritism? Absolutely, by now I'm sure all of you know how much i like these two but focusing on the graphical side for once, I'm super proud of their designs, i think they fit with the weirdness of some of Linuj's design choices pretty well which in turn makes them look kinda legit? In my head at least. I also had a lot of fun working on their sprites, especially Beni's since it had been a long while since i last tried to really exaggerate expressions on sprites of my characters so that was really fun! + I'm super proud of the baby sprites i made of them too, almost as much as i like their standard/adult designs really.

[spacerockwriting]

I have not been up late in what feels like forever, lol. This year was a wild ride. I, in all to honest goodness, can't even believe it's over. Last year I told my therapist my resolution was "Fuck it" and I still stand by it this year.

From finishing my first ever Shameless Big Bang, to writing another wonderful piece that led to making wonderful friends, I can't wait to continue it again this year.

In July I got to see Green Day for a sixth time, this time, the VIP actually pulling through. The last tour I saw them on was from Father of All... and it was such a mess, since the tour was the remains of what they could scrape by with due to COVID. Fall Out Boy had to cancel, which wasn't terrible but, still, a band I had wanted to see. SAVIORS was easily one of the best shows I've ever seen. Both DOOKIE and AMERICAN IDIOT back to back, all songs? COMING CLEAN is my favorite Green Day song of all time, and it's always played at every show I am not in attendance for. Finally hearing it live just...chefs kiss. Seeing Tre Sing All By Myself was also a dream thing to see, along with HOMECOMING which is a song that both Mike and Tre sing on. Not to mention, it was the opening of the US tour, which was great. Aside from a brief tornado evacuation during the concert, it was fantastic. I got even more excited when I found out my bestie went to his show, too, since American Idiot was the album that sort of bonded us together back when we were wee 8th graders.

October was the real kicker. My first vacation since pre-covid. The Outsiders Musical was fantastic. I had kind of lost fandom interest in it for a long while, and it just pushed my right back into interest with these characters I loved. Plus, I was the one that received the special book that is passed out during the finale. Being front row center for a musical was a bucket list item, and I was so glad it was that musical.

But of course, the real highlight of October was going to NYCC, a place I didn't think I'd ever go to. It's the comic con for the big boys, and I even surprised myself and hardly bought any merch, except for Eric Stuart (Brock from Pokemon) and of course spending most of my money meeting Cam and Noel.

THAT was the highlight my friends. Well, one. They were so so incredibly nice and sweet, not at all "fake" phony celebrities. Noel conversed with everyone who entered his line and wanted to talk to everyone, and Cam was just so so sweet. Both even signed the art that @deathclassic made and adored it, with Noel loving emo Mickey and knowing more about fanfiction, and Cam just a very confused guy about the fact its an AU. Kinda hope they dont find the fic. Both were such the sweetest boys, and were they worth the whole headache of NYCC??? easily yes. They knew my name by the end.

Two of my personal heros on the trip were @mybrainismelted and @runawaybrainsc, spending as much time with me as possible during the trip, and to all others who popped in throughout my thursday of hell where I got scammed by a bunch of dudes. Which, somehow, is kinda odd since I've known how to avoid NYC scams before. And then of course running into other gallavich friends along the way. Everyone was so sweet and kind, especially almost everyone that was in line for Noel. Everyone is so sweet. And ending the day eating pizza and gallavich chatting was perfect, and I cant wait to do it again. I love my con moms.

But of course, the best was the last day. Spending the day with @deathclassic. Seeing one of my very good friends IRL was such a wonderful experience and having fun at the biggest mall on the east coast was such a great experience. You haven't lived until you IRL snail race.

But of course, NYC brought the worst issues, which means early 2025 is gonna be full of surgery. Fantastic. Now lets just hope this flu goes away...

Really hope I get to do some gallavich adventures again this year..

[windsfavored]

anonymous &&. said... (Hello, new anon here) How long have Ren and Kazuha (Milla's) been in a relationship? and how did you guys decided to write these 2 together?

hello  hello  new  anon!  ✨  kazuren  started  way,  waaay  back  over  on  our  original  blogs.  (  erabundus  and  momijiba  respectively.  )  milla  and  i  actually  made  our  accounts  within  a  few  days  of  each  other.  basically  as  the  story  goes,  i  made  ren's  blog  first  and  just  so  happened  to  reblog  a  gifset  from  milla's  account  —�� which  drew  their  attention  to  the  genshin  rpc  and  led  to  them  creating  kazuha.  we  started  writing  together  before  wanderer  was  even  released;  i  think  our  first  couple  interactions  with  one  another  kind  of  ended  up  retroactively  retconned  because  all  we  really  had  to  go  off  of  for  ren's  character  at  that  point  was  the  drip  marketing.  i  had  actually  been  writing  scaramouche  on  and  off  for  years  prior  to  that  point  —  but  i  was  sick  of  having  to  remake  my  headcanons  every  single  time  hoyo  decided  to  throw  a  few  lore  crumbs  into  an  artifact  set,  so  i  decided  to  temporarily  retire  his  muse  until  he  was  finally  playable  and  i  had  a  more  solid  foundation  to  work  with.

in  any  case,  we  wrote  together  for  a  while  and  started  messaging  OOC  —  first  through  tumblr's  terrible  IM  system  and  eventually  graduating  to  discord.  kazuha  and  ren  ended  up  having  very  fun  chemistry  together  so  i  decided  to  take  the  plunge  and  ask  milla  if  they  were  interested  in  shipping.  something  important  to  note  is  that  we  generally  DON'T  plot  out  too  much  for  kazuren.  (  like,  ever!  )  we'll  have  general  ideas  like  wanting  kazuha  to  propose  or  ren  telling  him  about  the  fatui,  but  in  practice  we  kind  of  let  them  play  off  of  each  other  and  see  where  it  takes  them.  i  think  it's  led  to  their  relationship  feeling  a  lot  more  authentic  than  something  meticulously  planned  down  to  the  very  last  detail.  for  instance,  they  only  actually  got  together  in  the  first  place  because  a  stupid  joke  about  potassium  snowballed  into  an  argument  —  which  led  to  ren  confessing  he  only  wants  to  give  kazuha  a  good  life  and  kazuha  confessing  in  turn  that  the  only  way  for  that  to  happen  would  be  if  ren  was  a  part  of  it.

it's  been  almost  TWO  IRL  YEARS  since  they  started  dating  and  a  little  over  one  since  they  got  engaged.  we  fully  plan  on  writing  out  their  wedding  at  some  point;  we've  talked  about  potentially  making  it  a  dash  event  so  everyone  can  have  fun  with  it  —  we'll  see  what  happens!  whatever  the  case  may  be,  i'm  so  so  happy  i've  had  the  opportunity  to  write  this  ship.  it's  changed  my  brain  chemistry,  it  lives  in  my  head  rent  free,  they  are  the  guys  ever.

ALSO  it's  only  because  of  kazuren  that  i  had  the  chance  to  meet  and  get  to  know  my  best  friend,  and  for  that  i'll  be  forever  grateful. 

[an-obsessed-cactus]

I think i may be asexual?!

(okay this got longer than expected and i wanted to stop talking cuz ppl won't read it if it's so long and then i realized I'm not here to please anybody and i just wanna process some stuff so. yeah. also i come to realizations farther down that contradict some stuff from the beginning but I'll just leave my whole thought process here)

fun. um. I've realized I'm not straight two years ago and then started learning more about all things LGBT related and think myself educated enough on this topic but.

I've been pondering my sexuality and gender identity again more in recent days and. today i randomly stumbled across a yt video where the author (are you an author on yt? my brain is glitching rn)(also the 'author' in question is @jaidenanimationsofficial wonderful videos love the animation and the humor) talks about being aroace. few hours pass, my stomach hurts like hell so i go to lay down and sleep a bit, wake up and have a realization.

i googled again what asexuality is and read some more on this. i did this before and i guess i didn't see myself in it? so i kinda crossed it off the list of possible identities. i guess because i do want to have sex. i think. I'm not opposed to it and i get horny lmao. but that's only with fictional characters and works? like i just think: that was very sexy of you. but in a platonic way?! sex doesn't cross my mind. (also can you get aroused by music? or a good written work? or movie? like not even the characters but the work itself?) sorry i dunno I'm confused.

anyway i got a bit off track. what i wanted to say was that i suddenly remembered a convo i had with my sister a while ago where we talked about what is the difference between friendship and a romantic relationship. and she said it's that u wanna have sex with them and i was like ... i don't really think that's it...

and like. i get crushes i think. but I've never experienced this want to have sex with a particular person at least that i could remember. like a want to have sex? i guess yeah i mean not rlly sth i think about much but it's not unprecedented(see: i get horny)

honestly I'm not even sure anymore if im not aromantic as well. cuz queerplatonic sounds more like my jam?

like i felt(feel?) like omnisexual described me well because i think I'd be attracted to who the person is at their core. what if ur straight as a girl, date a boy, and then it turns out he's trans? i dunno i feel like gender isn't this fixed thing which then kinda creates problems when labeling urself with a certain sexuality. aaaa people came irl and i lost my train of thought. um. i feel like labeling myself anything other than omnisexual would feel limiting. even if i never developed a crush on a girl for example (i did), i still feel like i could potentially. like there's nothing stopping me. why shouldn't I?

OKAY SO

that was written yesterday. it is now today and i have a whole lot of new thoughts and realizations.

I had a bit of a marathon with @jaidenanimationsofficial videos and i came across an older one she mentioned in the previous one i watched about being aroace(ik it's a mess) about how she couldn't understand why when romantic feelings are not mutual people don't just continue being friends. and i was like EXACTLY WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?! and um. ahem. do u really see it as a problem? I guess if everyone does. but I'm starting to seriously consider if I'm aroace as well which woah there. this happened in a span of a day and I'm not sure it's real and it doesn't feel real? some time will have to pass for me to check out this theory cuz. ppl often say they felt like there was sth wrong with them and then they discovered these terms and were like aHA that's it! that explains everything! and I didn't... have that? and I'm not sure to what extent i identify with aroace because reasons(ill talk about some of it below). and I'm not saying that not having this realization moment or not feeling like sth is wrong with me through my life devalidates my orientation and stuff but it makes me doubt i guess?

i also came to an important discovery that aroused and horny are not the same. who would have thought?! I said above i get horny but apparently being horny means to want to have sex. and i just get the physical part aka arousal. fun. someone help pls im so confused.

okay for the last part(which prolly won't be the last part but one can hope right?)

i said i realized i wasn't straight two years ago. that was when i realized i like my best friend as more than i friend. well it wasn't exactly that simple. tbh i think Lucifer(the series i am NOT a satanist) helped a lot with that? like i knew about some lgbt stuff before because I'm alive on this planet but it kinda made me think about a lot of stuff, and between that stuff was my sexuality as well. idk. it's not like i had a crush on any of the female characters. just got me thinking for some reason. like why is having sex with people you're not romantically involved with wrong? why is prostitution wrong if u enjoy it and get money for it and it's well managed and secure? but that's beside the point.

well anyway I didn't know what i felt towards my bff(I'll say bff cuz bf also stands for boyfriend so it feels weird) but it felt like more than friendship. didn't feel like sth romantic tho. then i discovered queerplatonic relationships exist and i was like i think that's it! and then new school year came i saw her again and doubts flared up. again there was never i wanna have sex with her, but there was an occasional i wanna kiss her. and she was so important to me so it has to be romantic love right?! romance is the highest form of love one can experience afterall! nothing whatsoever can compare to it!! it feels ✨magical✨ when you find you will finally be completed!!! anyways.

it felt like romantic love was the only thing that could justify me feeling this way. i won't go deeper into this because i already have a draft where i do(i have like 16 drafts with uncompleted rambles so...) I'll try to post it but. i told her and we're still good friends! it actually made me closer to the rest of my friend group(which i was only a part of on the paper before)(i was so focused on my bff before I didn't really do group) because i felt a bit distanced from her for a while(she's a people pleaser like me and even tho i think i can read her well im paranoid and i thought she may feel weird?). anyways i got close with 3 other amazing ppl in the meantime and my friendship with my bff hasn't suffered!

but between my feelings being kinda realized and me telling her a whole year has passed and in the end i wasn't even sure what i was feeling anymore just that i didn't want her not to know. idk.

now im wondering what it was. even back then half year pre confession i was thinking if it was just because someone was finally paying attention to me. i didn't really do friends before (i kinda had them but there were no deep convos or shared secrets) and then there was suddenly this person who genuinely enjoys spending time with me! and listens to my problems! and weird obsessions! this sounds kinda sad put like this ngl lmao. but this was the first time I had that deep connection with someone. two years in my confused feelings came. geez i got off track again. point is i thought i was straight up until then and then had a crisis cuz i thought i only liked her cuz she was giving me attention cuz i was straight goddamit! ANYWAYS.

this post has lost all direction. it is a frustrated ramble of a very confused person. let us continue

i will just sum up how i feel about genders and people because I'm a chronic oversharer. oops doops.

men: find them aesthetically pleasing, all celebrity crushes are in this category (there's only one really but if i found a celebrity attractive like not objectively but to me it was a man), i would also get kinda crushes on boys my age when i spent 5 minutes with them. don't ask. i think it's dopamine mining(i suspect i have adhd). im not used to male company and i kinda don't like it that much but the the ?butterflies? are still there. tbh i don't really know what to do with men. doesn't stop me from having crushes tho. i don't have any real desire to be in a romantic relationship with men. i don't exclude the possibility but i haven't found one i would want it with. i also don't know now to interact with them. let alone flirt. actually flirt in general. it feels like it would be cringe and belongs in bad movies.

women: freaking amazing!! love them! no celebrity crushes, one irl crush which might have moved beyond crush(i suspected the L word for a while) to friends or it might have never been a crush in the first place! help! now there's another friend outside of my friend group who i may like. or i just enjoy her company? im not used to this yet. i forgot i think im aroace. this is killing me.

nonbinary/other genders: I haven't met any yet. there are some on discord servers im a part of but I don't really interact much just lurk there. i think irl experience would be different anyway.

someone please explain sth to me. you have sexual attraction okay get that(not really but that's not the point). but then there's romantic attraction. how do you separate that from friendship? just this intense feelings of wanting to be with them at all times? okay myb myb let's say u can separate them from friendship. what about queerplatonic? guys??

i am starting to dislike labels. this is confusing.

also i gotta figure this romantic thing out cuz im writing a fantasy series and there's romance involved lol.

okay so i guess i am at least asexual cuz i don't see ppl and go 'i wanna have sex with them'. i am not yet thoroughly convinced im aromantic as well but we'll see about that ig. because i still don't understand what the difference between romance and deep friendship is. aghhh

although if i can't tell the difference myb that answers the question.

also how does someone who is asexual but romantically attracted to all genders label themselves? like omnisexual ig doesn't work cuz it omnisexual.

i went to google aromantic and.

"demiromantic people have romantic attraction only after forming an emotional bond with another person."

HOW ELSE DO YOU HAVE ROMANTIC ATTRACTION??? Isn't this about who the person is?! Do you just see them and go: oh this must be such a good person. what?

like i understand sexual attraction when you see someone ig. but romantic? i really need someone to explain this to me in depth. i haven't even been asking the right questions.

"Quoiromantic people can't tell the difference between romantic and platonic attractions." Welp i guess i have a new label i can stick on myself. also the name is killing me. (quoi=what in french💀)

(edit: well this thing just posted itself. I DIDN'T HIT POST WTF. but it's out there now. ig it had enough of me adding new and new thoughts. im inclined to agree)

[ryuichirou]

Replies

One ask about the Vil drawing from yesterday, one very sweet ask, and one ask that made me think about the logistics of human/dragon sex…

Anonymous asked:

Fuck yeah, child murder

I support Vil's right to just fucking kill people

HE DESERVED IT! This is his stress relief. Vil “I’d never kill somebody unless they pissed me off” Schoenheit.

Although I think it’s very cute that he came back to his senses very quickly in the story. Poor Vil was just shocked that a kid could be this rude to him…

Anonymous asked:

I think I already sent an ask like some time ago, but I feel like it is a good time to state again how enjoyable it is to visit this blog. None of my irl friends are into twst, and I'm too awkward to make friends through fandom/social media, so your blog has been one of the main ways to talk and hear about the silly mage guys. Also I've always loved to touch on mature themes in my favourite fandoms, so I'm glad I can always come here for that.

Anyway, it's been a blast, so I thank you two very much for the great time I've had until now! Your work has helped me a lot!

Dear Anon! Thank you so much for your incredibly sweet message, it means so much. I am very happy that you’re here with us and that you’re having fun here.

It really does mean a lot that us doing all those self-indulgent things could help you on any level. Messages like this one really help us too; whenever things get hard and the pressure starts affecting us and our enjoyment of posting stuff, it makes us feel so much better knowing that we’re not just screaming into the void, and that there are people who find comfort or enjoyment in things that we do.

So thank you once again for sticking around and being kind <3

Anonymous asked:

HIII I HOPE YOU TWO ARE WELL!!!!! Love both your art and storytelling and you guys are probably the reason why I write dark content now🙏

I come with a question hehe

Does Dragon Malleus ever get a proper dick down by Lilia or Sebek or does he have to suffer and get himself off with his tail always😔

Hi Anon!! <3 Thank you so much for your kind words and for liking both our art and storytelling, that’s so cool to hear! Sorry for possibly turning you into a dark content enjoyer lol I’m happy you like it though!

Poor Dragon Malleus probably doesn’t get as much attention, but not because everyone is very mean, but because it’s pretty difficult to have big enough space that is also discreet enough + have enough time to do it. He probably has to fly his suitor to his date spot of choice whenever he wants it to happen… 🤔

But Lilia does treat him sometimes! He is probably currently the one and only person in the world who is qualified enough to satisfy a big hungry dragon lol He has experience… And let’s just say, it’s more energy consuming that any regular kind of fucking because you kind of need to get creative and active sometimes…. Unfortunately, just using a dick isn’t really enough.

Sebek has never been entrusted with such an important task before, but Malleus and Lilia both know that it’s going to happen one day, and that Lilia would have to train Sebek and teach him everything about the way Malleus loves to be pleasured in his dragon form. Sebek has no clue yet… But he’ll do his best!! His dick isn’t as big as Lilia’s, but his limbs are longer and his body is larger and heavier, so Malleus is going to enjoy him once he’s ready.

Oh right, Malleus’ tail. He likes its shape and size, but he the thought of doing it to himself is too depressing. But… he does get lonely and horny, so he entertains the idea sometimes…

[rabbithaver]

ok i know i didnt throw silver today here on tumblr but frankly i have been super busy, and now that i'm free, i'm totally exhausted. i'm gonna have to take a rain check on throwing him today, but rest assured that i DID throw him irl. and i'm holding him right now. so he's getting the love he deserves, i promise :)

i just hosted a 7 hour Bumblekast Server Movie Night since there was no recording today. it went so well!!! we watched Interstellar and The Martian, two of my all-time favorite films. i talked so much with so many people that now my throat hurts and i am absolutely exhausted... but oh my god, we had so much fun. i got to connect with a ton of friends in the server whose voices i'd never heard before. i got to infodump about my special interests to people who genuinely cared to hear what i had to say. we got to crack jokes and have fun during breaks. the very first ever Bumblekast Server Movie Night was, overall, a huge success!

in fact, it was such a successful event that i am going to have to host a second screening of Interstellar! like eight people really wanted to join us and see it, but couldn't due to their schedules. i've promised them that i'll ping them when i start planning the next screening so that way we can make sure everyone is able to participate. and Interstellar is one of those movies i will happily watch several times a week so it all works out.

everyone seemed to love the movies, and they even seemed to appreciate the fact that i had behind-the-scenes trivia and facts about the science in the movies. one of my huge worries is that people i watch movies with get annoyed when i share things like that, but if anything, folks seemed to appreciate the movies more because of it.

man, i know i keep saying it, but i really do love the Bumblekast community so much. i have never felt so at ease with so many people. i've never felt like a burden or an annoyance there... like, i truly think it's where i belong. everyone is so caring and supportive, especially the mod team and Kyle. hell, Kyle even set up an event in the server for me so that we could spread the word to people! it was such a kind gesture.

that place truly is something so special. i've been there since September 15, 2023, and i can count on one hand how many genuine fights and bigoted statements i've seen. the mod team is so exceptional at maintaining a positive and friendly atmosphere there. it helps that they nip heated conversations in the bud before they can become arguments. they're also very easy to talk to —they're all so incredibly funny and approachable. they're constantly interacting with the community, too. and they're also really willing to work with people.

for example, occasionally i've broken rules by accident or flown too close to the sun with a joke and they've had to DM me about it. and they know that i have severe anxiety, so when they broach these subjects with me, they know to say right off the bat, "hey, you're not in trouble or anything and we aren't mad, we just need to talk to you about something." it's a little thing, but it seriously means so much to me. the fact that they keep my struggles in mind when doing their jobs is proof to me that they care about the community they support.

a lot of discord servers have mods who are very... distant with their communities. like, they don't participate in conversation amongst members, or they take jokes way too seriously, or they throw their weight around just to intimidate users into submission. those discord server mods just don't bother interacting with their communities, either because they're too busy, or they're not interested in what their members are doing, or in the worst cases, they think they're better than everyone else. i've encountered a lot of these people before and they're always so unpleasant. it just highlights to me how unique the Bumbleserver is.

i'm so fucking glad i got into Sonic, man. if i hadn't watched the game grumps play Frontiers, i never would have picked up the comics. i never would have known how much fun they are. i never would have started listening to the Bumblekast. i never would have decided to create the clips blog. i never would've been reached out to by Puppy Bumblekast, who i now consider one of my closest friends. and of course, i never would have claimed Silver as my son, which lead to Seán reaching out to me. i never would have fallen so thoroughly in love with him, either. 💖

ok that was a WAY longer post than i meant it to be . im really really tired so im gonna go to bed. goodnight everybody

goodnight my friends!

[readingismyhobby24]

haaiiii hello faith !!!!! how have u been doing today? anything interesting happen?

ive been trying to finish whumptober day 1 :( i wish i didnt procrastinate but ill probably just finish and upload stuff across this month, november, and december i guess since apparently i can upload stuff late atleast

im getting the sebastian solace plush btw!!!!! hes so cutie i love him i cant wait dudeeeee omg

me and my irl friend hung out today :D we had so much fun, we went to a skating rink and even if i didnt actually skate we talked a bunch :3 me and him see eachother like once a month irl so its nice to see him

heres a few pictures from when me and my friend hung out :D !!!

he drew the cat on my hand :3 i drew the triforce on his lol

i drew a few stars on myself, the will wood icimi album cover, the will wood tapeworm, the triforce, then the karma 1 and the karma 10 symbols from rainworld!

HIIIIIIII NOAH!!!! I'm doing pretty good! I've done a lot of work today, but nothing fun or interesting 😔 I am going to do a TON of drawing soon because I'm going to draw all my mutuals their favorite animals. So, I do need to know what your favorite animal is :D

YOU GOT THIS!!! Can I ask what your whumptober day 1 fic is about? 👀

YAYYYYYY!!!! YOURE GETTING THE SEBASTIAN SOLACE PLUSHIEEEEEE!!!!!! THAT'S SO EXCITING!!!!!

That sounds like you two had a lot of fun! The plushies look like they're having a blast as well.

I'm sorry I never have anything interesting to talk about 😔 My life just hasn't had a ton of fun things to talk about lately. It's honestly been a rough few weeks. But maybe it will get better soon! I have some exciting things to look forward to this month!!! So hopefully I'll have some adventures to talk about!

Thanks for dropping by!!!

[sungbeam]

spread some love !

talk about your favourite mutuals and why you like them

hi anon! thanks for sending this in :') im always so bad at posting these things, but i can def do this one. i don't know if i would classify them specifically as favorites, but more so people i've interacted with the most 😭

@justalildumpling : i don't even need to go on besides saying that this woman is my soulmate. "in another life" but we're gonna beat the universe and meet in every life, type of connection. the girl who has seen me at my worst and has still treated me with as much kindness and compassion and care as she did the first time. i feel like in certain ways, we're kind of polar opposites, but also the same? i mean, on paper we can be so different, but when we talk abt what we like and dislike, when we laugh together, it all becomes something of the same and she restores my faith in other people again. she's the person who constantly makes me want to be a better person.

@ethereal-engene : one of my two beloved 姐姐's on this site skfnrknf but i remember talking to ash so many nights abt just any and everything. i am so happy that we're comfortable enough to be able to joke around, share our niche interests, have deep conversations, and even pen pal!! like i think it's crazy how SIMILAR our families are; we could legitimately be long lost sisters haha but also the blood of the covenant runs thicker than the water of the womb sometimes, so that makes sense. she's one of my comfort people, and honestly, i feel like we both come out of nowhere with some topics, but either person will hop right into the convo regardless and just vibe 🤧

@winterchimez : my second 姐姐 on this site !! my older sisters def take care of me well and i am so grateful for that :')) ally is always so supportive and yet so energergizing to talk to. she's def seen a lot of my brainstorming and i feel very comfortable bouncing ideas off her. she's always so generous with me too, like care packages??? RAH 😭 obviously, i love her for reasons besides the material goods, but it's a love language nonetheless. ally is prob one of the warmest and most welcoming presences on this hellsite tbh, so if ur ever looking for a new friend/mutual, she's the best.

@loveliestfelix : nana is another reason why im still around. i like to thank that beomgyu drabble every day for kickstarting our friendship because i have never met someone i have had such lengthy and fun brainstorming sessions with. nana is the type of person i would love to meet irl and just share stories over coffee with, though i feel like i always associate her with train rides and coffee now HAHA she's also one of my greatest writing inspirations, like i was and have always been blown away by her mind, and her word counts. i love calling her the queen of angst, and you will never be disappointed when reading something of hers.

@jaehunnyy : chip's been here for a really long time, like guys, no one can compete when she's been here since i had park jisung as my pfp and she had jeno as hers 😭 i think i really treasure our friendship and how much it's grown over the past two years :')) so much has happened over that time, and i think that if i met her in real life, i would just be blown away by how pretty she is like TT anyways,, i always love talking to her because of how much chaotic energy we create when we do, like i feel like we can power an entire city grid with how much chaos we make, and it's all the better for it. i love her very much, and i hope she understands just how wonderful of a person and friend she is.

@mosviqu : oh, my beloved bar, i love u to bits and pieces. i think recently you've become one of the few reasons why im still here writing and posting. like i am so utterly, from the bottom of my heart, grateful for all of your support and the love you've given and shown me. and even when we moved to dms to converse, i just realized how cool you are as a person, and how similar we are (in the best way possible). it's really nice to be able to connect with a person on multiple levels, and im really happy that was the case with us :') as soon as i saw ur love for tomorrow by chanyeol, i knew there would be something more to our friendship. i am so very fond of you, and your writing blows me away every time i read it.

@zzoguri : moni :( i hope ur doing well, friend, and i know you haven't been active here lately but i do wish you all the best. i love how passionate and committed you are to improving in writing and developing your own creative writing style, and it's so impressive to read your writing in general :') i love the confidence you advocate for yourself, and how real you are. thanks so much for being a friend; i just really appreciate all the support and hype you've given me during my time on deobiblr, like thank you for being such a thoughtful person.

@wuahae : cat and i have definitely interacted more off this site than on this site, but i felt that it was dire she was included here nonetheless. like bro, thank you for literally being the reason i come out of my apartment (or in most cases, invite people to my apartment), and for thinking of me! i think i once told you how hard it is to find friends in college, but you've made my experience here far less lonely. i love getting dinner with you, planning outings, and making weird animal noises together on the streets 😭 also, cat's writing is literally so poetic, and just her explaining to me her plot ideas tears visceral reactions out of me TT

@yunhoszn : i feel like me and fawn are low-key on the same wavelength a lot of the times, but in general, i think fawn's just such a rad person. i've told her once or twice before but i genuinely love her writing style because it has so much personality in it. it just makes reading her fics such a fun and enjoyable experience. also even off this site, i have so much fun interacting with her, like just commenting on her instagram posts like the gremlin i am, i know she's gonna hit me with the best response back skfnkejd (waiting for the day i go to where u r so u can do my makeup low-key... ur so fly, pls do my makeup...)

@goldenhypen : em, my lovely twin :')) i know our interactions have def decreased, but i don't think that's decreased the fondness we hold for one another. i remember when em first started interacting with my works and then followed me, i literally rolled off the couch cuz i started fangirling 😭 and she is one of the most genuine and brightest presences here. she is a follow forever, bro, you better follow her forever. i just adore her compassion for others and her absolutely adorable fic concepts, and omg don't even get me started on her work ethic 😭 i wished u the best everyday you had requests, i don't know how u did it. you are literally superhuman.

@hqrana : i haven't spoken with noa in quite awhile, but im guessing it's cuz she's girlbossing her way through to that nursing program 🤧 my favorite woman in stem girl in this hellsite, she is my beloved xnonie 😭 i think i just appreciate noa's undeniable presence and character so much, like she brings so much energy to my inbox whenever she's here, and her support of my ideas and fics just makes me 🙇🏻‍♀️ like thank you for being here. and to know we both love marvel and taylor swift? i feel like she has to be like,, my best friend? like she needs to be my best friend?? sending hugs and well wishes your way, always.

[fanaticsnail]

Hello dear, I'm sorry to hear that things have been stressful for you irl. I know you're not all that familiar with me, but I still hope that things get better. All the love to you ♡♡♡ Here's an ask for you: If your favorite character was real and appeared beside you, how would you feel about it? What would you do? And this isn't a part of the ask game, just a question I had in general, but how did you go about starting to talk about and sharing your OCs on your blog? I'd like to be able to do the same, but I've never really done it publicly. It's usually just been among closed-off communities and friends.

Hi there love! It's been a rough little while for me lately, and this has been an excellent distraction. Thank you for your kindness, I appreciate it so much.

Favourite Character appearing:

Aside from the usual: "AAAAAAAA, how did you get in my house, what are you, are you even real, what are you doing here, how are you alive right now?" side of things, I honestly feel like we'd vibe. Offering Brook some tea, milk and a glass of wine or two while we sort out how to put him back, maybe have a jam with music until chef-husband comes home and joins in on drums, would be the way I'd handle it.

OC Sharing

I was very shy talking about OCs initially. The first OC I'd ever created for OP was shared with only one other person - much like yourself, if I'm reading it right. Closed off communities, full of supportive people encouraging and empowering you, was the way to go for me.

On a whim, I made one just for me specifically to practice drawing with on here when I had severe writer's block. I wasn't expecting much of a response from her, similarly to the stories I began writing when I initially started this account. Tobiuo was originally meant to be platonic, but Lionel Richie's "Hello" started playing as soon as the Kid Pirates showed up with that fire-breathing commander.

Sharing OCs still makes me nervous a little bit, honestly. I haven't really, properly written for mine on here aside from silly comics and that one mini fic. I do still only talk about her to a few people, play around with others OCs in the OC discord server. The amount of things I've written and drawn specifically for OC content on there is insane to me - including 'x reader' for others OCs.

While I'm writing a bit of 'x reader' content on here for an October event, I haven't been posting a lot about her on here.

How I went about it

I made a Masterlist for her with a small amount of information, and add to it as I go along. Just a name, age, rank, station, crew, captain, peculiarities, and race. She is so fun to think about for me, and she's truly a piece of my heart I'm sharing with the community here.

I hope this helps, and I'd love to hear about your OCs!