#i've got an ongoing master list of simps that I update every time I recall an older simp or gain a new one | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

internal-bleating · 1 year ago

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I've been meaning to make one of these and now I am!!!!

First fictional crush (you can remember):

Durza from Eragon

I have a REALLY hard time remembering things in chronological order. Especially things from a loooooooooong while ago. I'm like 87% sure it was this guy though.

Most recent fictional crush:

Tangerine from Bullet Train

Can you fuckin blame me??? I will say, I only really started falling for this dude after I was browsing the Bullet Train tag and saw all the thirst posts about him and I was like "You guys know what? You're right he is pretty hot. *impending hyperfixation incoming* ..... WAIT-"

Weirdest fictional crush:

Big Jack Horner from Puss in Boots The Last Wish

Shout out to the Horner fandom! I love you guys and I was sad to leave as this hyperfixation faded and went dormant ;-; . My other friends and fam do not see what I see in this man except maybe my sibling a little bit but I could care less lol.

Fictional crush you've had the longest:

Willy Wonka from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Ooooooooof this one was hard to figure out cuz I have no sense of time... But yeah I'm making a shot in the dark and saying it's him. He's always lurking back there in my mind I swear. Buuuut he's recently been shoved REAL in the back because my brain has decided to acknowledge that Wilder!Wonka is also hot and it's causing an effective block.

Most obscure Fictional crush:

Doc Terminus from Pete's Dragon

........ I'm like 98% sure I'm the only one who simped for this guy cuz there's absolutely zero fanworks of him.

Most unexpected fictional crush:

Ethan Winters from Resident Evil Biohazard/Village

Yeah I passed by this guy no problem the first time I hyperfixated on Resident Evil but then I came back specifically for him?? I think Paul Matthews helped kindle this one to be completely honest.

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LADIES ADDITION~

I'm a guy leaning bi in all honesty. But because all of the above were guys, I felt like it was only fair to include some of the gals as well.

First fictional crush (you can remember):

It's a tie between these two tbh

Sarah Sanderson from Hocus Pocus (I'd only later learn it was a crush)

Peridot from Steven Universe, the first girl i'd recognize as a crush

Hate to admit it but I became less attracted to her when she lost the limb enhancers and became a good guy. What can I say? I like em mean XD

Most recent fictional crush:

Scarlet Overkill from The Minions Movie

Her and her husband are hot ok? And I'm not afriad to admit that. They were the only redeeming quality of that movie and I wish they'd been the main focus instead of it being a Despicable Me prequel. Or maybe the crime family. Idk but I wish it was it's own seperate thing x_x

Weirdest fictional crush:

Lusamine from Pokemon Sun and Moon SPECIFICALLY SUN AND MOON NOT ULTRA SUN AND MOON!!!

The reason I changed one of my characters from a typical crummy rich dad to a vain MILF. I cannot stress enough that I particularly find the version of Lusamine from Sun and Moon attractive before she got her redemption/had all the crazy and horribleness striped from her character in USM and the anime.

Fictional crush you've had the longest:

Sarah Sanderson yes I know I already mentioned her but I'm struggling here!!!

Once again, VERY hard to decide cuz time is fake idk. It was harder to find one for this because not many of my fictional woman crushes stay afloat very long due to the lack of fanfic which is a crucial element in fanning the flame else my brain becomes starved and starts frantically clawing at things. Sooooo Sarah is another shot in the dark.

Most obscure Fictional crush:

Irina Spalko from Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

SHE HAS A SWORD OK??? SHE JUST MAKES MY BRAIN GO EEEEEEEE

Most unexpected fictional crush:

Serpent Sisters from Puss in Boots The Last Wish

This one is pretty much martas-cheney-den's fault(affectionate). They wrote a scene in their Big Jack Horner x demon reader fic where Jan straddles the reader and grabs one of their horns to hold them down and yeah that's all it takes sometimes for somone like me fdjkgshjklghsldkjf

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Well, there ya go! Whatever deep psychological things this reveals about me, I'm not sure I wanna know. And I'm still unsure whether or not I have a type...

Starting a F/O chain bc bored. you dont have to be tagged to make an addition!

@starleska @monsterbride99

In this order:

First fictional crush (you can remember)

Most recent fictional crush

Weirdest fictional crush

Fictional crush you've had the longest

Most obscure Fictional crush

Most unexpected fictional crush

Mine below cut!

1. Bowser is the first one I can remember. Dont ask why I was like, six