#i've gone insaneo mode

[powderrblue]

"you were my best four years"

tws in tags. this one hurt a little bit (halfway through stopped liking this but here you guys go anyway because this took like three hours total to do)

Sneeg remembered the day him and Charlie had gotten to meet Henrik.

He'd decided he liked Randy's boyfriend-fiance-husband. Whatever the two were to each other by this point.

Charlie, though, had been ecstatic over the whole thing. Going on about how they were a family and how they looked the part. Sneeg wouldn't have argued with that, either- he had some similarities to Henrik, he would admit; and even eight-year-old Charlie had begun to look older and look vaguely like Randy in the process.

Not that Sneeg would ever tell Charlie he was getting taller.

But one other thing Sneeg had noticed- Henrik had been kind to Sneeg, too. Kinder than probably anyone had been, besides Randy.

It felt right. Different, but right.

And when the couple had an almost-marriage a few days later upon Charlie's insistence, Sneeg and Charlie themselves were the only ones to watch. There were no guests, no massive tents, no flowers, and only crudely hand-torn pieces of red paper (courtesy of Charlie) for Randy to walk down the aisle on.

All four of them cried as though the couple had had a minister and a fancy church to be properly married in.

-

Henrik hadn't known Randy's basically-kids long. Not technically, at least.

At the beginning, the brown-haired man had been beyond pissed that he'd been "stuck with babysitting". Henrik could easily tell even looking back now how much the two had grown on him in only three years. Now, they were almost all he talked about.

Henrik figured out why the moment he met the two little boys.

Charlie, the younger at seven years old, had initially hugged Randy's leg in an attempt to hide from Henrik, though he entirely gave himself away with his endless giggles. Sneeg, who was ten, had been far more quiet and nervous. He stayed at Randy's side more than hiding, though, and Henrik offered the boy a quiet smile to attempt a pact of friendship.

It hadn't taken Henrik long to start a lively game with Charlie, despite Sneeg's wary glances.

The game didn't last long either way, mainly for the sake of Randy's sanity. Henrik could see his husband's nervous stare in his peripherals as he took turns tossing first Charlie, then both of the boys at the couch. It was plenty padded, though Henrik decided after a few minutes that Randy didn't need to worry about his kids getting concussed on top of who knew what else with these two.

The day as a whole ended happy. Henrik had a turn at being nervous when Sneeg fell asleep leaned against him, but Randy's adoring smile made it worth it.

He smiled back at his husband.

Maybe life didn't have to be so bad.

-

Randy didn't know exactly what day one of the employees had managed to find a guitar somewhere in the mall for Randy to have. Or even how they'd gotten ahold of one.

He still couldn't help the slight smile that came to his face at the familiar sight and feel of having a guitar in his hands.

"D'you know how to play?" Charlie had asked, wide eyes made to look even bigger what with his new glasses. It was endearing, despite the fact that Randy had to still try to force the cause of Charlie's worsening eyesight out of his mind.

"I used to," he answered Charlie's question gently, testing a few chords.

Sneeg carefully leaned close to Randy.

Henrik's quiet gaze stayed on Randy, a slight smile on his face. Charlie was curled up close to him, his small hand gripping Henrik's sleeve.

Randy played as well as he could for the next while. He wouldn't say he sang, per se, but Sneeg still heard a comforting hum as Randy picked at the strings.

Charlie sang the words to what songs he knew, too- though he quieted when more yawns than words would leave him.

For being a thrown-together family all put together by a media company that had abducted them, Randy would say he didn't feel too bad about the current situation. Seeing Charlie with Henrik and feeling Sneeg leaning on him felt nice. As good as it could get in the mall, at least.

Life in the mall was almost kinder than life outside had ever been to him.

-

Charlie remembered the first time he'd died on-set.

Most of it, anyway.

It had been an accident, too. One of the heavier props left on the table from another show had fallen on top of him as he passed before he could even process that it had happened.

He remembered hearing Sneeg scream in terror, the feel of his own heart trying to force him to get up to make sure Sneeg was okay- though any thought of his brother was soon pushed out of his mind as searing pain shot through his chest.

"Henrik, help me!" a voice- Randy's voice- had shouted, and Charlie felt the giant mass on top of him slowly move up and away. Another scream joined Sneeg's before Charlie could register it as his own.

"I know, Charlie, I know, I know," Randy came close to shouting. Whether it was to be sure Charlie heard him or out of genuine fear, he was in too much pain to figure out.

Charlie couldn't breathe. Everything hurt, and he couldn't even see from the pain. He wanted to turn his screaming to words, his rushed breathing to normalcy, but nothing would change.

"I know, Charlie, sweetheart, I've gotta get you up, okay? I know, I'm sorry," Randy kept trying to reassure him.

For what it was worth, it felt like it helped. Charlie relaxed into Randy's arms, letting his dad cradle him close to his chest as the pain at long last slowly faded into a black void.

"Dad?" Sneeg tried.

Charlie was too quiet.

"Randy."

Sneeg looked on, tears streaming down his face as Randy looked up at Henrik's face, then back down at Charlie's frame, small, limp, and broken in his arms.

Henrik picked up Sneeg with ease, shielding the older boy's eyes from Charlie's bloody body.

"Come on, Ran. They'll fix him. C'mon," Henrik quietly coaxed. His voice sounded on the verge of tears, too, but Sneeg buried his face in the man's shoulder anyway.

"Is he gonna be okay?" Sneeg asked.

He already regretted every time he'd ever hit Charlie. Every time he'd fought the younger, even when provoked.

In that second, he was overwhelmed with the pain of knowing he couldn't take it back. The pain of knowing he would probably go and hurt Charlie again if Charlie survived.

"He'll be okay, Sneeg," Henrik said, putting a hand on Sneeg's head. The weight of it was comforting.

Sneeg let himself cry into Henrik's shoulder as Randy carried Charlie into a blindingly white room.

-

Randy swallowed at the lump in his throat as he pretended to listen to some new report from the laboratory.

He hardly understood what the woman across the room was talking about, not that he could have forced himself to pay attention even if he could understand it.

Henrik was gone.

Henrik was gone for good, just like his kids.

His kids that he hadn't even wanted at first. The kids who insisted on getting Randy and Henrik married days after they met Henrik. The kids who fought each other and nearly clawed each other to death and gave each other goldfish crackers as peace offerings ten minutes later. The kids who sang while he played guitar until they fell asleep. The kids who he sat with and held every time they got resurrected from a role in a show that got them killed and left them sweaty and shuddering in pain as their bodies rebuilt themselves.

And now, as though that wasn't enough, his husband was dead. They'd killed him, too. Without Charlie and Sneeg, it hit twice as hard.

He really had lost everything because of Showfall this time.

He'd hardly left his and Henrik's room since the day he got the news that Showfall had permakilled Henrik.

Randy had clung to his husband's pillow, Charlie's picture in hand, and not moved for who knew how long.

The guitar stayed on its makeshift cardboard stand in the corner of the room, but he couldn't bear to even look at it now.

Besides, he figured, what good would trying to pick himself up do him anymore? Maybe if Showfall thought he was useless enough, they'd permakill him too and let him be with his family.

As gruesome as it was, he couldn't help but cling to that thought alone for the first days- or what he thought was days, at any rate. Not that he had looked up to check the clock.

Randy had only finally gotten up three days later, his muddled brain managed to figure out the next time he saw a calendar. And he didn't even know really why he'd bothered getting up, either.

Not until he overheard someone whispering to another about how Charlie and Sneeg had escaped.