#i've built an empire of shitposts on that single grain of knowledge my dude

[theunemployedrogue]

Shance + That Good Shared Sense of Humor

Consider: Lance accidentally drinks Something Weird during a mission with Keith, Hunk, and Pidge and it gets him SUPER Space Drunk. As they’re trying to sneak him back onto the castleship without the others finding out, Keith and Hunk on either side of him basically dragging him along, he suddenly jerks out of their grip and declares, “I’M GONNA SING ROCKY HORROR!”

Pidge and Hunk brace themselves for ‘Time Warp’ (bc that’s the logical choice, given all their recent experiences with wormholes and time travel, ya know?). Instead, Lance launches into his rendition of ‘Dammit Janet’, in which he replaces every instance of ‘Janet’ with ‘Shiro’. He literally does not change a single other lyric. Pidge and Hunk quickly jump in as the monotone backup singers, while Keith stands there completely baffled (”Lance, is this song supposed to rhyme? Because it’s not rhyming.”).

Shiro rushes in thinking there’s a disaster bc he’s just heard three of his teammates screech his name like a dozen times, and he stumbles upon the group when Lance is half-way through Brad’s part of the song. Shiro just stares at Lance, not saying a word, until Lance sings, “Oh S-H-I-R-O I love you so--”

...to which Shiro responds by belting out, “OH IT’S NICER THAN BETTY MUNROE HAD (OH LANCE)”. He and Lance continue the song together without missing a beat, Shiro replacing every ‘Brad’ with ‘Lance’. They end their duet with a kiss bc come on, it’s not a real Dammit Janet scene without the kiss~