#i've been very patient and trusting of the cast

[pstelwitchcraft]

Listen, I am happy to see Brennan take the DM seat, and I hope I've understood this incorrectly and we'll still get the main cast, but after seeing that guest list I believe there is simply no way they could fit all 8 main campaign characters + all of these people (amazing ppl by the way, truly nothing but love for them) at the table. And idk... I've started to get disappointed. Bc the thing is I love these characters, I love the Bells Hells, I love Sam's new character he JUST introduced, I love having Dorian with us again and cannot wait to see him deal with the repercussions of Cyrus' death. I love the Imogen and Laudna drama. I love whatever Fearne and Ashton got going on, I love Orym and his weird fey pact. I LOVE them.

And just... recently, I cannot shake the feeling that this is not their campaign. We JUST got them back from the Crownkeepers special episode. Before that, they've gotten separated for a pretty extensive period of time on opposite sides of Exandria. FCG just DIED. Yes, they have communication issues but I feel like that has to do, also, with the fact that every time it seems like they're finding some sort of groove, something like this happens. I get wanting to do something different and a trip to the past before Aeor collapsed IS really exciting, but it straight up feels lame and like they're trying to shove as many people into the table as possible when a major arc like this doesn't have the presence of the LITERAL main characters without them at least being separated again.

Also, don't think I don't see the bias from ya'll. Aabria had ONE episode that was significantly more important and related to the actual plot of the campaign and ya'll were clawing at her neck saying "this should have been a one shot!!!". If Brennan gets 3 freaking special calamity episodes only slightly related to the main plot and ya'll don't let out a peep I am literally fighting you in a parking lot. If this pans out the way I think it will then this absolutely should not be in the main campaign and could stand alone just like Calamity. I could totally be wrong, and I hope I am and they somehow found a way to fit 15 people at the table, but right now it's not looking too good and I cannot understate how sad I am. We just got them back! I want to meet Braius! 😫 Please, PLEASE, let them have their proper moment for us to know him 🙏

[moonselune]

Ah! I've been so excited to put in a request! I adore the way you write Minthara, can I request her with a trans woman Tav but she hasn't told Minthara yet? Maybe as a former assassin it's not often that she gets nervous, but she knows the way drow perceive men in the Underdark and that her transition probably wouldn't be accepted in Menzobarrenzen. She meant to tell Minthara but ⭐️the stars haven't aligned yet.⭐️ Maybe if things were heading in a s p i c y direction and then she just stops, and Minthara notices she looks terrified, despite barely getting scared at all. Showing emotion is hard and asking for comfort is impossible lol but she is very prepared for Minthara to hate her.

Sorry if it's a super long ask, I've just been really excited to put in a request! It's based on my embrace Durge Tav and despite the bad things she does i love her very much! She's a tiefling named Anika!

Ahhh thank you so much !!! And no worries it was a super fun concept to work with !

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Minthara Baenre x Transfem!reader | Who you are

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The fire crackles in the stillness, casting long shadows around you and Minthara, and normally, this kind of setting would relax you. But tonight, it only sharpens your nerves, your heart pounding at the edge of your throat. She’s close, closer than she has been in a while, and for once, you can’t find the words to meet her with.

You, a trained assassin—someone who never shied from the edge of a blade or the threat of death—were struggling to voice a simple truth. A truth that felt as if it could shift her entire perception of you, leaving you open, vulnerable, at her mercy.

Minthara doesn’t move, her eyes focused and piercing, but not unkind.

“You’re distracted,” she notes, her words laced with observation rather than reprimand. She cocks her head, reading every flicker of your expression with a precision that has you feeling even more laid bare. “I know this is unusual for you,” she adds, raising a brow, “and it must be serious if it renders you so silent.”

Her voice holds a gentleness rarely heard from her—strong but urging you forward. She reaches out, her hand finding yours, and she clasps it, warm and grounding. It’s the smallest touch, yet it manages to unravel the threads of composure you’ve fought to hold on to.

“Speak your truth,” she says again, softly, her voice dipping low as if the words are meant only for you. Her fingers curl around yours with a kind of certainty, a firm reminder that you are here, now, in her presence, and whatever you fear sharing will not be cast aside so lightly.

Your mouth goes dry, heart stammering, but under her watchful gaze, you find the courage to begin.

“Minthara, there’s… something I’ve meant to tell you,” you say, swallowing thickly. Each word feels pulled from a deep place inside you, your pulse loud in your ears as the truth finally begins to surface. “It’s something I should have told you long ago.”

You pause, struggling for air, her eyes steady, patient. There’s no room for fear or silence now; you know you have to say it, let her see you, raw and unfiltered.

“I wasn’t… always seen as I am now,” you manage, voice barely above a whisper. You clench her hand in yours, finding some strength in the way she holds on, unyielding. “I was born a man,” you continue, the words spilling out in a rush. “I… transitioned years ago, outside Menzoberranzen’s reach. I feared that… that if you knew, you’d see me as…” The weight of the words nearly chokes you. “Less.”

A fragile, tense silence falls between you both as you brace for her reaction. It’s the vulnerability of the confession—the fear that she could so easily wound you—that has you ready for the worst, prepared for the sneer or cutting remark that would slice through what little trust you had placed in her.

But Minthara does not flinch. Her expression remains unchanged, but there’s a warmth in her eyes, a spark that tells you she’s not simply humoring you. Instead, she studies you, her thumb tracing a gentle line over the back of your hand. When she finally speaks, her words are as steady as her gaze.

“You assume I’m bound by the hollow beliefs of the Underdark,” she murmurs, her tone rich with conviction and tinged with something softer, almost fond. “But I left that place for reasons beyond my loyalty to Lolth. I came here to be free, free of their small-minded chains.” She leans closer, her gaze never wavering. “You are a woman because you are meant to be. You stand here because you have claimed your identity, no matter what hardship it brought.”

The tightness in your chest loosens slightly, a flicker of hope taking root as she continues.

“Your strength,” she says, her voice soft yet unyielding, “is not simply in your resilience. It is in this—your honesty, even when it frightens you.” Her fingers trace the line of your jaw, and she tilts your chin up so you have no choice but to meet her eyes. “And do you think, for even a moment, that I would view you as anything less? Knowing what you have overcome?”

Her words settle over you like a warm cloak, comforting in a way you hadn’t dared to imagine. You feel the weight of years of secrecy and fear slowly dissipating under her fierce gaze. She squeezes your hand, a silent reassurance, and you realize that her acceptance is not conditional or reluctant. It’s absolute.

Slowly, as though pulling yourself from a trance, you give her a faint nod. The fear that had choked you loosens, and you feel your shoulders drop, a sigh escaping your lips as you lean into her touch.

Minthara’s lips quirk into the smallest, genuine smile, a rare expression on her usually severe face.

“Good. Now stop looking at me as if I’m about to strike you down,” she says, a teasing edge to her voice, her fingers brushing a loose strand of hair from your face. Her expression shifts, a hint of pride glimmering in her eyes. “You have survived far too much to doubt yourself here, with me.”

With a rare, tender touch, she brings her forehead to rest against yours. Her breathing is steady, a quiet rhythm that soothes your frayed nerves.

“Let us take this moment as it is,” she murmurs, her voice barely above a whisper, but it holds a kind of power that echoes deep within you. “Free of judgment, free of fear. Let us find the strength to meet each other fully.”

For a moment, you simply exist together in silence, her forehead resting against yours, her steady presence grounding you. Her acceptance, her quiet, unwavering support, becomes a balm you hadn’t realized you so desperately needed. And slowly, you allow yourself to breathe, to let go of the years of fear, the doubt that had weighed so heavily on your heart.

“I can do that,” you whisper, a small smile finally breaking through.

Minthara hums approvingly, her hand coming to rest on your cheek with a softness you rarely saw from her. "Then you and I shall find a path to freedom together,” she says, a promise threading through her words.

And in that moment, for the first time in so long, you feel truly seen and accepted—whole and unbroken.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Hope you guys enjoyed this! - Seluney xox

If you want to support me in other ways | Help keep this moonmaiden caffeinated x

[woominooy]

* gn!reader is shorter than seokmin

seokmin leaned with his shoulder on the wall as he waited for you and your best friend to finish your talk. seungkwan had just returned from studying abroad and it would have been a big lie if you said you hadn't missed him the least. the past few days had consisted of you catching up with your friend and hanging out, which seokmin had nothing against until one time became a second and a second the third, telling himself that you would always be with him usually and that it was only fair for you to spend more time with your best friend.

though, as understanding as seokmin could be, he had a clear limit, because best friend or not, he was your boyfriend and he missed you although he could see you whenever he wanted. but he didn't want to be like that to you, so he had always been patient and let you do you. however now, your dear seungkwan was making it very hard for the boy to keep his cool. to say the least, the jealousy was boiling all the way to his neck and he was sure that people could see the steam fuming from his ears as he watched seungkwan do little things like punching your shoulder lightly or take hold of your hand.

it was when seungkwan brought his hand to your head, ruffling your hair affectionately like the old days that seokmin left the wall he was leaning on and stormed towards you, “oh no boo, not today.” he cursed under his breath, a stormy cloud following him from above of his head.

a surprised noise left your throat when he suddenly grabbed your wrist and dragged you away from the very much confused seungkwan. as soon as you had turned around the corner, you slit your wrist out of his hold.

“what is wrong with you?” you hissed, sending him a disappointed look, but he didn't waver, the angry glare was plastered on his face, barely keeping up with the strong feeling burning in his chest. you being you, you had no trouble reading through his expression, a sigh left your lips.

“are you jealous?” you prompted and seokmin scoffed, looking away from you. the indifference made you chuckle, teasingly you poked his arm.

“come on min, just say it.” your teasing seemed to have ticked off the little that he had left of his self-control and suddenly exploded, his pupils gone wild as his hand ruffled his black curls frustratedly.

“yes! yes! i am so jealous, so jealous and mad because he's keeping you away from me and i am your boyfriend, and you're mine and only i have the right to spend so much time with you–” all of his bottled emotions were spilling out like a waterfall while you watched him with lips slightly agape. seokmin wouldn't say such possessive things, he didn't have it in him, but this time, he had let seungkwan get to him too much than necessary.

you ended up silencing him with your palms squeezing his cheeks together, making his lips stick out funnily as they mushed against each other.

“seokmin,” you called, your voice a calm and mere whisper that would help him calm down his frantic heart. his breathing became slower and the way his orbs dilated when he looked at you properly made your heart squirm.

“you shouldn't be jealous of seungkwan, he's my best friend and he's very important to me, but that's all he'll ever be. you're my boyfriend and my feelings for you will always be deeper, they keep growing every day. but i need you to trust me.”

“i do trust you,” he protested quickly, he sighed when your hold on his cheeks loosened up casting his gaze almost shamefully downwards, lashes kissing his soft cheeks. “i'm sorry– i'm, i've been feeling so selfish lately, like i want you all to myself and it's driving me crazy,” seokmin explained, his voice a fragile murmur, embarrassed by the fact that he had become that way.

you felt your heart melt into a puddle at his words, and the smile that grew on your lips was just the sweetest you had ever mustered.

“it's okay seokmin, i also want you all to myself,” you cooed, letting go of his face so that you could circle your arms around his neck. it wasn't a lie, seokmin wasn't always aware, but there were always so many people buzzing around him like bees to honey and in those times, you'd feel the exact same.

“really?” he gasped, the frown had smoothed away from his features and the disbelief on his face reminded you of a sad puppy.

you stood on your tippy-toes to press a lingering kiss on his lips, “of course,” you smiled. the relief that washed over him was obvious and he gladly responded to your embrace, hugging your waist with his arms, pushing your back slightly against the wall. seokmin had leaned his face incredibly close to yours, letting his mouth brush against your lips as he spoke breathily.

“then you won't mind if i keep you for the rest of the day,” the glint of mischievousness in his whisper made you bit your lips to suppress the excited smile, though that didn't go unnoticed by the boy as he placed his soft cushions on yours, his lips tugging your own out of the grip of your teeth, so that he could take your breath away with a kiss.

[hisui-dreamer]

hello ˚ ༘ (♡ˊ͈ ꒳ ˋ͈) about mc angel's request, I was wondering if you could do the same but for malleus and lilia,.. also adding the fact that mc doesn't know how to land well and always crashes xd so mc have to practice constantly jsjs thanks! ^^

of softer landings

Characters: Malleus, Lilia

Synopsis: you're an angel, but really you don't act like one, even more so with your crash landings. Worry not, your lover is glad to be of assistance.

Tags: crack, fluff, bot proofread

Word count: 509

Notes: i just assumed the two of them do fly with wings, malleus being a dragon fae and lilia being a bat fae? also writing lilia's old man dialogue is so fun

Part 1 ✧ Masterlist

Malleus finds you so interesting

he appreciates the challenge your stubbornness presents, and the excitement your mischievous behaviour brings to his life

he thinks its another prank of yours when you tell him

"An angel?" he repeats, trying to make sense of it all. "I find it hard to believe."

but once you tell him you're serious, he'll believe you because he puts an incredible amount of trust in you

loves seeing your wings bc it shows you trust him

he's a bit clumsy when it comes to wing care, but he's more than willing to help you maintain your damaged wings

very concerned about your crash landings

honestly he's so excited to help you with flying, seeing it as an opportunity to assist you and spend more time with you

very patient in teaching but he's also the type of teacher that can't be specific in instructions

goes great lengths to ensure you're safe and comfortable during the practice sessions

he's gotten so good at casting slow fall spells quickly now

Malleus reaches for your hand, gently holding it. "Child of Man- no, my Sweet Angel, as dragon fae, I believe I can offer valuable guidance to you. Please do not hesitate to ask for my help, and I will do my utmost to ensure your safety and success."

He taps his chin, pondering. " When you're close to the ground, you want to bend your knees slightly. Think of it like preparing for a duel."

"Well done, my Sweet Angel! You have a natural talent for flying, and I have no doubt that you will master landing with practice and determination," he encourages, his dark wings flapping in excitement.

Lilia loves your energy, the two of you bounce energies off of each other and you’re quite a mischievous duo

he finds it amusing to be challenged and teased by you

he will be strict if you take a joke too far, but he can’t stay mad at you for too long

he has met many angels in his long fae life but you’re the first to be so mischievous

he believes you pretty quickly though, he’s seen more strange things in his life

"Well, I'll be. You're not like any other angel I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. But that's precisely what makes you so special and dear to me," he laughs

he loves helping you with wing care, he finds it so calming, and you often request his assistance with how you always crash land

he’s worried about you getting hurt, bad landings can be dangerous  

he offers to teach you how to land, suggesting you practice on a softer surface like a pile of leaves or moss and also demonstrating flying

he’s determined to do whatever it takes to ensure your safety and well-being

also super patient with his training

Lilia smiles and wraps his arms around you. "I believe you," he says softly. "And I think it's amazing that you're an angel. You're unlike any other angel I've ever met, and that's what makes you so special to me."

"Dear me, that simply won't do," he says, his tone taking on a more serious note. "It's imperative that you learn how to land properly if you wish to continue flying safely. Allow me to offer my assistance in this matter."

Lilia extends his hand towards you, offering to help with practice. "Come, my dear, let us begin your training at once. I have been flying for many years, and I believe that with my guidance, you can learn to land smoothly and safely."

Masterlist

if you liked this post, don't forget to reblog!

[destinyc1020]

Idk about you but I wanna know what those fans that were always complaining to your blog that nobody "good" wants to work with Tom are thinking right now. They were so deep into the filmtwt narrative of Tom they didn't even listen when we tried to tell them that its very likely that Tom is just doing what he wants to do at the moment and it's not likely that everyone in Hollywood "hates" him. I hope the Nolan casting helps them trust the process a little more. We might want things to happen for our faves now but at the end of the day they are human not just content for us so they will do things when they want to. (And it's why having multiple fave is a good thing too like you always say).

I kind of wonder what they're thinking too lol. 🤭

I kept telling people that we as fans just need to be patient, and that IF Tom wants to work with certain directors and actors, then it will happen.... eventually.

I think the problem is that some of these fans allow what strangers on Twitter think to affect how THEY think and feel about a particular actor, instead of using their own heads and thinking for themselves.

I also feel that some of these fans are way too invested in someone else's life. As for me? I think for myself. If I like someone, I like someone... period. I don't allow others to change my mind. Also, I've always been a very causal and passive fan of ANYONE that I'm a fan of. I may not like every single decision my fave makes in life, but I don't allow that to make me lose sleep, or hate the actor or anything like that.

I for sure am not losing any sleep over any actor's career. 😒 To me, that's the silliest reason to stop being a fan of someone. Do you all know how many actors I've been a fan of who had deadbeat careers, who didn't work for YEARS, and who aren't even a sliver as successful as Tom is? 😅 We as fans just continued to support them, and were just happy whenever they had a new project coming out. In the meantime, in between, we just continued to like other actors that we were fans of. When you have multiple faves, one sole actor doesn't become your whole focus, and you enjoy the process more imo.

Maybe it's just because I've been a fan of MANY actors over the years since I was a kid, so I've seen the ebb and flow of many actors and their careers, so that's why I'm usually never worried. 🤷🏾‍♀️ I just go with the flow. And even if a favorite actor of mine has taken a break (or even left Hollywood altogether), I just trust that they're doing what's right for THEM. I respect that actor enough to realize that it's not my life, so whatever they decide to do with their career is THEIR choice.

I keep saying, as long as my faves are happy and healthy, then I'm happy for them... no matter what I may want for them. 😊

I hope the Nolan casting helps them trust the process a little more. We might want things to happen for our faves now but at the end of the day they are human not just content for us so they will do things when they want to.

Honestly? There are some who just want to complain, and some who are just nervous nellies, so no matter what happens, they won't change. Some supposed fans are also just ones who were trying to hate on Tom, so this new casting news isn't really making them all that happy, because their point was just to hate on Tom. (This goes for the haters also) 🤷🏾‍♀️ It was never really about the roles he was doing (or NOT doing). They were just using him as an internet punching bag. 🙄

So no, new casting news is not going to change the minds of those types of people. 😒

The only piece of advice that I would give Tom is that he might want to stop mentioning in interviews how much he hates Hollywood. 👀 That's like publicly bad-mouthing your employer, and then wondering why you're not getting any promotions lol. 😅

I'm pretty sure that there are many things that some actors don't like about Hollywood, but imo it might be best to just keep some of those things to yourself if you're really wanting to work with certain filmmakers or get certain roles in the industry. Or, he might just want to re-phrase the way he says certain things when it comes to his feelings about Hollywood. That would be my only advice. 😊

It's almost tantamount to the same thing we say about JE and him always mentioning how much he hated the KB movies, and how he felt they were so awful and beneath him. It's like, okay.... We get it. But at the end of the day, people worked hard on those films, and if you want to continue to get more work, maybe it wouldn't be good to bash your previous films so harshly? 👀

You can dislike certain aspects of the industry (I'm sure most actors have a whole list of things they probably don't like lol 😂) without shouting it from the mountain tops. You can just keep some of those things to yourself, or, just word them in a certain type of way so that it doesn't come off as "anti-Hollowood", especially if they're employing you. Not everyone needs to know (or deserves to know) every single thought in your head. I would keep some of those complaints and vents to my close friends and family only lol. But I work in corporate, so maybe I'm just very cautious lol. 👀

That would be my only advice. Jmho

(And it's why having multiple fave is a good thing too like you always say).

EXACTLY! That's why it's so important. 👏🏾 Not only does it help because then you're not putting all your eggs in one basket and then getting upset when your one or two faves aren't doing what you want them to do, but it also helps to diversify your taste in actors, in movies, and just in general! I think you end up enjoying the film industry a LOT more when you watch films from a variety of different actors. It makes your life more colorful. 😃

You're also less anxious about your faves and their careers because you follow a LOT of actors careers that you enjoy. 😉

Jmho 🤷🏾‍♀️

[crash-bump-bring-the-whump]

Patient File: MO-1620

As with most other things, this has been burning in my brain for the last however long and I need to exorcise it by writing it down

TWs: captivity (imprisonment), discussions of self-worth, discussions of anxiety, discussions of trauma, self-flagellation, references to murder (including child murder), referenced but not discussed self-harm and suicidal ideation

The following is a transcript of Inmate MO-1620's visits with the facility psychologist and counselor, Dr. Juan Castillo. These documents contain confidential information. If you have received them in error, please destroy them immediately and notify the phone number on the cover sheet. Failure to do so may result in a felony punishable by a fine in any amount not exceeding $5,000, or imprisonment of not more than 5 years, or both, together with the costs of prosecution. For privacy, inmate names have been redacted in all places that they appear.

This document has been translated from Spanish to English, per written request.

BEGINNING OF TRANSCRIPT

XX/XX/XXXX - Session X

JC: Hello, XXXXX, it's good to meet you. You don't have to be nervous, this isn't a bad visit.

MO-1620: Can I ask why I'm here? They don't...usually let people talk to me.

JC: Of course. You're here because there's been talk of you being released early. I'm going to determine if you're ready for that over the next few weeks.

MO-1620: I...they can't do that. They shouldn't release me.

JC: Why is that?

MO-1620: You've seen my records. You know...you are aware of what I've done. They shouldn't let me out.

JC: I have seen your records. I've also seen your records of conduct during your sentence. I think you're a suitable candidate for release.

MO-1620: My conduct here does not mean anything. This isn't the real world.

JC: I think it does. I know during the incident in July, you didn't fight back. You chose to walk away.

MO-1620: It was not a situation that needed to be escalated. Anyone could see that XXXXX was...not in his right mind. He got bad news, I accidentally bumped into him on my way back from my yard time. I got hit. It was nothing to fight over. The guards got him away before anything could even happen, anyway.

JC: Most people in that situation would've fought back. Why didn't you? You hadn't done anything wrong.

MO-1620: It wasn't necessary. I don't like...I don't like hurting people. I don't want to hurt anyone again.

JC: So following that logic, why are you not a good candidate for early release?

MO-1620: I didn't want to hurt the people I killed, either. I still did it when I was told to. I can't be trusted with freedom.

JC: XXXXX, you were in a difficult position. Youngest member of your team, given the most unpleasant tasks, and threatened with punishment if you didn't fulfill them. You reported everything that was happening, as well, to the public and media. Don't you think that deserves some consideration?

MO-1620: No.

JC: Why not?

MO-1620: Those are excuses given to justify behavior. I've burned people alive. I've killed entire towns with nothing but my casting gloves and a handgun. People have begged me for their lives, for their children's lives, and I ignored them. You cannot ever justify that. You cannot justify any of that.

JC: Your hands are shaking. Are you angry at me?

MO-1620: No.

JC: Are you upset?

MO-1620: No. I am sick. I'd like to go back to my cell, please.

JC: Alright, lean back and I'll call someone in.

XX/XX/XXXX- Session X

JC: Welcome back, XXXXX. How are you feeling?

MO-1620: I'm nervous.

JC: What has you nervous? Nothing will happen to you in here.

MO-1620: I know. I...am just a nervous person, I think. You are...you are kind, though. I apologize for how I ended our last session.

JC: No, I think that was the healthiest thing you could've done. Leaving a situation to calm down is a good way to deal with hard emotions when you don't have other options.

MO-1620: That's very generous of you to say. I felt like I was being dramatic. Throwing a tantrum.

JC: I didn't think so. I do think that you tend to judge yourself very harshly, though.

MO-1620: I don't understand what you mean.

JC: You seem like you take a very harsh stance on your own actions, with very little room for compassion or understanding.

MO-1620: I have to make sure that I don't slip up. I'm...very dangerous.

JC: I don't think you're dangerous. You have the potential for danger, just like anyone else, but I don't feel like I'm in danger right now.

MO-1620: Of course not. The people who raise lions and tigers in their home don't feel like they're in danger, either. But something always happens.

JC: Are you just a lion or a tiger, trapped in someone's home?

MO-1620: I might as well be. I can't hurt people in here. I don't see anyone that I could hurt. It's safest for me to be here.

JC: Don't you feel lonely staying in here?

MO-1620: I do. That's alright.

JC: Why is it alright?

MO-1620: I think being lonely is the least I could do.

JC: Can you elaborate on that?

MO-1620: I took people's families from them. Partners, friends, there are a lot more lonely people in the world now, because of me.

JC: You being lonely won't bring them back

MO-1620: It won't. But neither will me living a life that those people won't ever get to experience again. I still don't understand why my sentence was so light compared to the others.

JC: So you should be punished until you die?

MO-1620: I think so, yes.

JC: That's not a very healthy mindset.

MO-1620: Why should I get the privilege of health?

JC: You're a human being, I think every human being deserves health.

MO-1620: I think that's a bit of a stretch.

JC: Are you not a human being?

MO-1620: No, not anymore. I threw that away when XXXXX told me to start razing XXXXX and I did it.

[Two minutes of silence follow]

MO-1620: I think I'd like to go back to my cell, please, Doctor Castillo.

DD/MM/YYYY - Session X

JC: XXXXX, it's good to see you again. How have you been these last few weeks?

MO-1620: It...is good to see you too. I...have been better. I have also been worse, though.

JC: It's important not to get caught up in minimizing your own pain just because you've experienced worse.

MO-1620: I...I apologize.

JC: My feelings aren't hurt. What has you feeling bad?

MO-1620: I just can't understand what you see in me. It's confusing. I've done some of the worst things someone can do. How could I ever be fit to go back to...to a normal life?

JC: I focus on your current behavior, not your past.

MO-1620: Why is that...okay? Why do you do that?

JC: People can change. Not everyone will, but some people can. I think you're a different person than you were when you hurt those people.

MO-1620: What makes you so sure? I...I feel the same. I don't think I'm any different.

JC: Change isn't some big, sweeping thing. Not permanent change, anyway. It has to be small, and gradual. Sometimes we don't even notice it. I think you've been doing that. I've seen the books you've been checking out. Why have you been focusing on self-help and communication books?

MO-1620: I want...to understand people better. I don't understand others very well. It makes things hard.

JC: Someone who didn't care about hurting others wouldn't care about understanding them.

MO-1620: Maybe. You talk like I deserve to be forgiven, though.

JC: I think it should be on the table. You might not be able to forgive yourself now, but I don't think it should be off-limits forever.

MO-1620: That is not mine to give, though.

JC: Forgiveness?

MO-1620: Yes. Forgiveness for how I hurt others is not something I get to give to myself. That doesn't make sense. I wasn't the one hurt.

JC: I think you were.

MO-1620: How was I hurt? I did the hurting. It's selfish to make this about me and my feelings.

JC: These sessions are all about you. If there's a time to explore something that feels selfish, now is the perfect time. I can't imagine it was fun to do all of that.

MO-1620: There was adrenaline, but...you're right. It wasn't something I liked. I didn't want to do it.

JC: You wanted to stop so badly that you almost beat someone to death.

MO-1620: I...did. I did that, yes. It was not the way I should've handled it. I shouldn't have touched our superior officer.

JC: But nothing else worked. You don't immediately jump to violence. Should you never be forgiven for hurting your superior officer?

MO-1620: No, I shouldn't. I think he deserved it, but I still shouldn't forgive myself for it. I'm not a good judge of what is right or wrong.

JC: Because you trusted the people in charge of you?

MO-1620: Because I knew better, and still made excuses. I made excuses to myself until I couldn't look either my leader or super in the eye without wanting to vomit. I should've taken the torture training instead. I should've accepted the punishments. They couldn't kill me and get away with it, and I knew that. I should've done anything but what I did. The only thing I did right was turn us all in.

JC: I think most people would've done what you did in your position.

MO-1620: I don't think that makes it okay, or forgivable.

JC: I think it does. I think you don't want to admit that it was traumatic to go through all of that, because you happened to also hurt others. But it wasn't fun. I think it hurt you a lot to do those things. I think it was scary to have those threats made if you didn't obey orders.

MO-1620: I...I think I deserve to hurt like this, though. It's fair.

JC: It's fair?

MO-1620: I shouldn't ever forget, or get too comfortable. If it helps me remember, and if it helps me stay in line...I think it's fair. I'll take that.

JC: I see. Would you like a tissue, XXXXX?

MO-1620: ...Yes. Yes, please.

JC: Take your time, and then I'll let them take you back. I think it's a good time to end today.

MO-1620: Thank you, Doctor Castillo.

XX/XX/XXXX - Session X

JC: Hello again. XXXXX. You don't look well, are you feeling alright?

MO-1620: I haven't been sleeping very well. The guards tell me that you are saying I should be released next month. I...I don't understand.

JC: You've demonstrated self-restraint, self-awareness, and a deep remorse for your actions. You haven't participated in so much as an argument in your years here, either. Unless you've somehow managed to fool someone who's caught serial killers in their games, you aren't going to re-offend.

MO-1620: I...I am very afraid, Doctor Castillo. I do not know how to...to say how I'm feeling. It doesn't feel like you've been listening to me at all.

JC: I've been listening more than you think I have. You are...what, XX years old? I've been doing this since before you were born, XXXXX. I've talked to guys who've done what you did before. You're not my first violent offender. You know how many have begged me to stay here, because they were afraid they'd hurt someone else?

MO-1620: Not...many?

JC: You have. You and one other have begged to stay. The rest have all but promised me their first-born to get out of here early. So no. You will not be staying.

MO-1620: What if I mess up again? What if more people end up dead? I cannot handle that. I don't know what I'd do if that happened.

JC: You don't have to know. No one else will die because of you, because you aren't going to do that again. You don't trust yourself enough to even come close to being in a position to do that again. I'd be surprised if you felt confident enough to care for a pet rock when you're released. You will be fine out there.

[One minute of silence follows. Unintelligible noises can be heard, but the recording is too low quality to discern the source. The noise gradually becomes clearer and can be identified as MO-1620 crying.]

JC: Alright, none of that, hands on the chair arms. Good, good. Just like that. Breathe. Here are the tissues. I'll tell them to take you back. Not to your cell yet, you're on a watch. You can go back to your cell afterwards, then we'll get you ready to get out of here.

[A beep can be heard]

JC: Can I get Rodriguez in here? No, no. Nothing like that. Yeah, looks like a panic attack. Just for a few days, maybe a week. Yes. Just to be sure he makes it to release date. No, we certainly don't need a repeat of the XXXXX situation.

[A door squeaks open]

Off. R: Is this...him? XXXXX XXXXX? The one who...

JC: Yes. I think he'll need some help--yes, it's safe. He won't hurt you, if he could I would've asked for Ortega. Just like this, at his elbow. There. I'll call Medical and ask them to send down something to help keep him calm.

JC: I'll check on you later, XXXXX. You'll be fine. Just breathe.

END OF TRANSCRIPT

My analysis of MO-1620 is such: He is safe to return to society. He has expressed marked improvements in behavior, judgement, and habits, along with regret and a strong desire to not re-offend. Additionally, the differences between his actions and those on his team are large enough that I support the proposal put forth by Judge Miranda.

Dr. Juan Castillo

Dr. Juan Castillo

XX/XX/XXXX

[batw1nggg]

"dr character analysis anon" again, hi. Saw the thing about Komamiki. I have...mixed feelings about that ship.

While Komahina does objectively have the most going for it, I'm personally a multi-shipper for Nagito. I think the fandom really sleeps on a lot of the ship potential he has with some of the other cast. Admittedly most of the potential is with male characters. But outside of some fun platonic BroTPs (like Sonia and Nagito), I'd say there are 2.5 good f/m ships for Nagito. Komanami, Komazumi, and depending on the writer, Komamiki. Because a writer I know who's played around with it over the years has done some pretty interesting stuff.

Now I say "2.5" because like...I have noticed a REALLY weird pattern with Komamiki. In that it seems to be the main Nagito ship pushed by fans who are incredibly harsh on the character and vocally against Komahina. Who are typically also Hinanami shippers. I've even pointed out examples to that writer, and they found it pretty baffling too.

Like one of the most insane takes I've ever seen (and the writer wholeheartedly agreed with me despite being only mildly into Komahina) was someone pointing to Komamiki as "a healthier alternative to Komahina". Because like...one of the most interesting things to explore about the ship is that it has a high probability of turning quite ugly and toxic. And to actually get a healthy Komamiki outcome requires quite a bit more work than most other Nagito ships. Like one of those good Komamiki stories I read had both of them go through therapy before meeting again as adults after Hope's Peak closed down (a kind of non-Despair AU).

Yet those detractors of Nagito seem to really think that they could just hit it off pretty quickly. And that Nagito's worship of Ultimates would be a boon to Mikan's self-confidence. As well as Mikan being a nurse making her a perfect partner for Nagito. Which is just...no. A happy relationship between Nagito and an Ultimate should have him gradually come to see them as a partner and an equal. And Mikan's FTEs show exactly why giving her a partner medically dependent on her is a TERRIBLE idea. She would need to come to terms with just how unhealthy her desire for control over her patients is before having a partner like that.

So yeah, tldr, I think Komamiki can be an interesting ship to explore, but I can't help but view some of the people pushing it with a bit of mistrust. Like I almost wonder if a handful of them are doing so in bad faith. And perhaps they actually do want Nagito to end up in an unhealthy co-dependent relationship where his partner has power over him.

ok see i agree with a lot of the points here ive always been interested in the komaeda mikan dynamic, just platonically. because i cannot see him liking women romantically (or her liking men romantically) at ALL like i just cannot see it. their dynamic is very intriguing from what little hints of it we get from chapter 3 its just that in my eyes they wouldnt be toxic lovers theyd be gods worstest girlfrenemies. i support the dynamic i do not support it romantically lol. and also id never trust a komamiki shipper like ever at all because of what you outlined . its like how youre always suspicious to trust junkan shippers because their dynamic can be interesting to explore but it has to be handled carefully to be brought justice yaknow.

[ettawritesnstudies]

Etta! Which story have you been enjoying most lately? What character is your current fave?

I've had a lot of fun thinking about the Otherworld Explorer's Club! I really like Jade because I've been watching a lot of Dr. Who with my boyfriend and she's inspired by the concept of the companions (and all the shit they had to go through) and all the analysis that comes with watching a show as convoluted as Dr. Who with the resident writer brain. He's very patient I must pause the show every five minutes to start rambling about implications and character arcs.

Anyhow Jade is interesting to me because her mentor, who I'm going to call Professor Frizzi, genuinely cared about Jade, but she also tricked her, multiple times, and manipulated her decisions to fit as a pawn in her schemes. It was all for good reasons to protect her, to teach her, to lead her to discoveries instead of just telling her what's going on, it was all part of the experience. Jade knew she never had all the cards but she was ok with that because she trusted the Professor to look out for her and give her the information she needed in due time. They were genuinely friends, albeit on a very uneven playing field.

But when the Professor realized she miscalculated, and had to trick Jade into going home, leaving her behind to fight for herself, it cast doubt over all of that. Jade doesn't know if the Professor died or survived without her. She questions if the Professor ever trusted her or took her seriously, or if she was just a tag along or a liability. She wonders how much of what she learned was all an extravagant lie. How many little betrayals did she let slide before it was too late? All her happy memories are tinged with this bittersweet and cynicism. She's a huge skeptic now and she needs to relearn how to look at the world with wonder and how to take leaps of faith.

[vampiresdontbelonginfairytales]

Original posting date March 31st, 2013.

Takin' a fairy home to meet your parents who specifically told you not to go Fairyland. As you do.

This is now actually overwritten by book canon because Will wouldn't do this. (comic canon is always secondary to book canon) so I'll write the book version here:

--

Tyrian waited nervously on the platform, wincing and grasping Will's arm as a train sped past, having second thoughts. He'd read about trains in books but nothing had prepared him for the metal monsters zooming by, and so close, too! He shuddered as he felt the wind rush caused by the thing and inched closer to Will. It had all sounded very romantic in the Earth books, lovers running alongside the carriages as they pulled away, kissing on the platform beforehand . . . how they could stand to run alongside these awful iron cages he didn't know. Several humans waited by some benches along a wall, unconcerned. They were looking at little metal boxes of some sort. They kept tapping them and poking them. The things humans did with iron! Even the benches seemed to be made of it, though they had been painted pink.

    “You okay?” Will asked him.

    “Do we really have to get on a train?” Tyrian asked. Lowering his voice he added, “Isn't there a door we could take to your parents’? Or a carriage?”

    “There aren't any doors near my house,” Will explained quietly, pulling him along the platform. He pressed a button and some glass doors in the wall opened. He allowed Will to lead him through them into a small waiting room, with thankfully fabric chairs. “We'd be hard pressed to find a carriage in this day and age too. Sorry.”

    “Is this . . . is this what it was like for you in Fairyland?” Tyrian said, plopping himself down in a chair and rubbing an arm. “I've read so many Earth books but being here among humans, it's, well, it's terrifying.”

    “You don't have anything to fear from humans, Master Tyrian,” Will assured him. “We really will not eat you.”

    “It's not that, it's all this iron you've surrounded yourselves with . . . I suppose it was to protect you from us?”

    “Not really, it's just very useful,” Will replied. “I mean, in the old days yeah, but people wouldn't go much further than a poker in the cot or a horseshoe over the door.”

    “I suppose so,” Tyrian replied.

    “Besides, a lot of it probably isn't even iron,” Will said. “There's lots of metals besides iron, you know. And we make a bunch of stuff out of plastic. That's like a chemically made material.”

    “I don't like the sound of that either,” Tyrian replied, pursing his lips.

    “I don't want to go myself, but it's time I 'fessed up,” Will said. “I have to tell them where I've really been and that I'm okay. It's been a couple of months and I haven't phoned them or anything. I would have sent them some letters but inter-world mail isn't a good idea. It might get me in trouble.”

    “True . . .” Tyrian acquiesced. “They must be very worried.”

    “I don't know about that,” Will said. “But I have to get this over with some time. Besides, it'll be fun showing you around. I've made a list of cool places we could see.” He looked out of the door. “Here's our train.” Tyrian followed Will out of the room and back onto the platform. He swallowed as it drew level and Will reached out to press a button, opening the doors. They swung out and back in a fashion he'd never seen before and he jumped.

    “Will . . .” he muttered as his fool put one foot on the step.

    Will looked around. “We're blocking the doors,” he said, casting a meaningful glance over Tyrian's shoulder. Tyrian looked around to see an annoyed man not-so-patiently waiting for them to move. Will stepped down and Tyrian moved aside so he could get on. The other passengers had already climbed aboard and there was a man in a bright orange jacket watching them warily from a few carriages down. “We're drawing attention,” Will whispered. “Come on, it's safe, I promise.”

    “But I don't trust it . . .” Tyrian whined, casting a glance at the orange-wearing man. Will had stepped on to the train and he turned, reaching out his hand. Tyrian took it and Will grasped his arm with his other hand, pulling him onto the train. There was a weird noise and the doors closed behind him. Then there was a whistle and the floor lurched as the thing began to move. Tyrian fell forward and clutched onto Will.

    “Careful,” Will warned. “I don't know about the iron, but you definitely don't wanna bang your head on the wall. I did that once.” Tyrian held onto Will's arms as the train sped up and Will merely leaned back against the side. He looked around and then flipped down something on the wall. “You can sit here,” he said, manoeuvring Tyrian onto what he realised was a seat. “Just sit tight okay? We're only on here for about twenty minutes.”     Twenty minutes felt like twenty hours. He spent the time clinging to the fabric of the wall chair with one hand and clutching Will's sleeve with the other, at least until Will gently disengaged him, sat on the floor next to him and took his hand instead.

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[access--granted]

I'm bad at thinking on the spot, but I have some firm faves, lol. (Disclaimer, I accidentally wrote you an encyclopaedia, sorry!)

1. Jill. REmake was my first game early this year and I played as her. It's what sucked me into fullblown brainrot lmfao. I've played most of the series now and for the most part, Jill has remained one of the most consistent and realistic female characters throughout the series (imo). I mean, I've never looked at my screen an thought "has the director ever seen her character before? What the hell is this?" Which in RE is a rare occurrence lmfao! She isn't super, overly sexualised and I honestly just thoroughly enjoy her personality and story. She knows who she is and what her goals are. Death Island absolutely solidified this for me. It made me feral, I stg. Her arc was phenomenal. I want a brand new Jill campaign. I need her as a main game character again soon. She's one of the best. SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE WITH CHRIS KILLING WESKER INSTEAD OF SHEVA SOMEBODY HAS TO SAY IT. An original that holds her own. Just... *chefs kiss*.

2. Claire. Similar reasons to Jill. She has clear motivations and a good arc. Her campagin is my favourite part of RE2make and I think it's shamefully underrated. I found her realtionship with Sherry a lot more significant than Leons and honestly, her A playthrough was just... better? That's perisnal opinion though. I wish they'd let this woman buy a new outfit. She's worn the same jacket since '98. Recycling queen I guess, lmfao. I don't think people really give her enough attention or credit. She's incredibly kind and patient but could also beat me to a pulp. Phenomenal.

3. Chris. Okay, a few iffy portrayals but he's overall a very solid character. I like him so much because he's a "terrifying but actually very soft and huggable" trope in my mind, lmao. I can't shake the Awkward Father vibe, no matter how many 400lbs machine guns he plays around with. I just think he's very tired and wants to watch a football game with friends. Give him a break.

4. Ethan Winters. It's fucking Ethan Winters. Ethan and Rose were excellent new additions to the cast. I adored them. They were something different, refreshing, realistic (minus the lego man hands... dude's made of mold tho so...) and just very likeable. Dude just chills in the background at functions wanting to go home.

5. Leon. Leon's equally one of the most interesting but frustrating protagonists. I think his OG progression is a complete mess. There's some parts I love, some parts I think make zero sense. I always got the sense that they wanted to be ambitious with Leon, but didn't know what the audience would and wouldn't accept. Does this man have a personality? Yes, we'll hint at one, but we absolutely must adhere to naughts cringe hero stereotype just incase. He often leaves me perplexed, but I enjoy him. He's fun to nitpick and study (and make fun of!!!) and he arguably has one of the most interesting long-term stories. I think remakes are going harder to bring this to light. At it's core, the Leon story is about his relationship with corruption, the government and how he deals with it and who to trust. It could be... SOMETHING. I think we're getting there. The changes in remakes are making it more and more possible. They're taking risks and it greatly benefits him as a character overall. He makes sense. He's understandable.

(PS a lot of this sounds like nonsensical jumbled ass, I'm so sorry lmao. I did not sleep and I need pain meds today bc hashtag chronic pain. If this message is total dumbassery jibberish you have my deepest apologies!)

Ahhh, hi! I absolutely love a good old encyclopedia ask, don't you worry. (And you're probably gonna get a long ass answer too, lmao).

REmake Jill is my favourite Jill. Her kick ass determination and personality are just so good. She was my first ever example of a strong female character as a kid, and she's always been my absolute fave. Totally agree with you that DI sold her to me even more. She desperately needs a new campaign in a mainline game ASAP, I've missed her too damn much.

I feel like Claire has had most hate in the franchise (in my personal experience, at least), and honestly, I don't get the whole "Claire is so annoying" crap I've seen people say in the past. She has good motivation. A college student going to search for her S.T.A.R.S member brother when she doesn't hear from him, only to survive a hellish night amidst a viral outbreak and cure a child? So badass.

Chris is 100% awkward dad vibes despite his badassery and boulder punching skills, no doubt about it. He's more sensitive than people understand him to be. (Which literally makes no sense, considering how broken he is whenever someone he cares about doesn't make it, lol). Let this man live, put his feet up and relax.

Ethan, my guy. I fucking love him so much. I remember how so many people hated him, back when RE7 first came out. "Oh, but he's just some random guy who is looking for his missing wife. How boring." Uh, isn't that what makes him so much more interesting? He's not an agent, or a S.T.A.R.S member, or whatever like the others are. He's a man willing to go above and beyond to save someone he loves. He gets put through so much shit and still selflessly sacrifices himself. What a guy.

Leon is a hot mess (affectionately). Capcom wanted to do things with OG Leon, and they just didn't know how to go about it. He's definitely a fun one to pick apart and analyse. You're right, though. I definitely think they could really polish what kind of character they want him to be with future installments since they've already gotten him to a pretty decent place already. I've always loved him, but he sure has been a roller coaster ride, hahaha.

Honestly, I always love getting long asks like this, especially from mutuals I wanna talk more to. It's just a shame I'm such a socially awkward coward and can't initiate conversation myself. 😂 I had a lot of fun answering this, so thank you, and I really hope you can rest up soon!

[luna-rainbow]

Vincenzo full thoughts

I had a lot of it on fast forward in the later episodes because there was so much dramatic slow motion. Overall, the loose threads were tied nicely. The villains got their comeuppance, and it was nice, for once, to see the villain's downfall stretch over 4 episodes, with Vincenzo really savouring every shred he tears from them.

Vincenzo really didn't go soft on anyone in the end. It was nice to see when his tether snapped that his viciousness skyrocketed, which suggests he's been holding back the whole time with Babel until they crossed his line.

"Justice is flimsy and tenuous. Justice will not win against the wretched." Vincenzo isn't a hero. I don't think he even qualifies as an antihero. If anything, he's an antivillain - "a character with virtuous traits who ultimately uses unethical methods". A recurring theme is Vincenzo (and Chayoung) denying that they're fighting for justice. He has an unspoken code of honour: he will protect people who are kind to him, he tries to limit collateral damage, and he will always repay a debt, whether that is charity or revenge.

(Longer ramble underneath cut)

There's a couple of themes I want to discuss. Firstly, Vincenzo - I mean, the clearest change is how Vincenzo softened from stern and icy to being patient and accepting of affection. But I think it was also a learning curve for his convictions. Vincenzo is perfectly clear-eyed about the bloody path he had walked, and as he says in the end, he's never going to be able to correct his path. The Vincenzo who first arrived in Korea wasn't sympathetic to the plight of the poor, but the Vincenzo who left was someone who cared way too much about people who were being forced down by merciless bullies. Vincenzo's growth wasn't just the love and camaraderie and grief he's experienced. It was also him finding his own righteousness - "(justice) is never going to arrive, so I've got a new hobby of taking out the trash".

Second, the cast of Geumga Plaza. I can't remember which episode it was, but one of them said "we used to be so busy trying to make a living that we didn't care about politics", and I think that is such an incisive dissection of the problem. They were each individually highly-skilled, capable and strong-minded people, but for most of their lives they didn't fight back because they were told by society that they are "weak" and powerless to change a system that is unfair to them. I think what is amazing about Vincenzo's later missions is that he couldn't have done most of it without their help - but also their success hinged on the fact that Babel failed to notice the poor people around Vincenzo. They weren't important enough, but these unimportant folks were crucial to Babel's downfall.

Third, the idea of "consigliere". Initially, I thought Vincenzo would have been better if he wasn't Italian. His mannerisms, and his wary distance is very, very East Asian. If he had to be European, then he could've been either German or English. I also wondered why he wasn't just a mafia boss or hitman, especially since the lawyer background wasn't necessary as he couldn't stand in court in Korea. But towards the second half of the series, I think the "consigliere" concept became clearer. It seems like (from the very brief Wiki article) that the consigliere role is that of an adviser, negotiator and problem-solver. And that is what Vincenzo does best. The violence, as he says, is only his second best skill. Vincenzo is good at solving other people's problems, he's good at negotiations, and he's also good at pulling people around him, not necessarily as a leader, but as the central team member everyone wants to trust and support. That's a special skill I don't think even Vincenzo realised he had, because he seemed to have spent most of his life trying to keep his distance from others.

Fourth, the idea of payment and retribution. As hilariously ridiculous as the pigeons descending to save Vincenzo's life was, it was in line with the entire theme of Vincenzo's story. Kindness is repaid with kindness, and crime is repaid with crime. This isn't just in the way Vincenzo treats others, but it is also in the way the others treat Vincenzo. The Geumga Plaza residents are very guarded to start with, but they rally around Vincenzo after he helps them out. Vincenzo's momentary kindness to the pigeon, just like his kindness to people like Hanseo, Ahn and Youngwon, are repaid when he least expects it but most needs it. The story frequently speaks of justice as something nebulous, but this idea of repayment is...in itself, a kind of justice. I think this is also why Vincenzo as an antivillain story actually works, because we see just how far the villains go, and how completely corrupt every branch of the justice system is - from the police to the prosecution to the judge (and the politicians too); in the end, the only path to justice was to take matters into their own hands.

Finally...if you're a 2PM fan, maybe stop reading. Ok Taecyeon was probably the weak point out of the central cast. I think the casting was a stroke of genius, in a way, because he has a natural playfulness and boyish cheer that when juxtaposed with the horrific violence, brings just the right amount of unhinged creepiness. Towards the end, though, his performance got a little...hmm, one-keyed? It's a thing I see with Japanese idols too (I don't watch a lot of Kdrama), they act out an emotion rather than portray a character. Hanseok as the main villain could have had more layers and complexity, and he also didn't quite command the scenes as well as the more veteran actors did, especially in climaxes. He did do a good job on two emotional scenes though, the one where Vincenzo breaks into his apartment to intimidate him and he goads Vincenzo to kill him in front of the cops, and the final scene where he screams for Vincenzo to give him a swifter death.

Overall, I liked this drama. It has its share of flaws. The showdown resulting in Hanseo's death was badly scripted and badly directed. The series could have been shorter and leaner. But as far as an antivillain who is willing to get their hands dirty to do the job - this is probably one of the best stories on that theme I've seen recently...because it's directed where it should be: at the corporations and the bullies who are withholding justice from the populace.

[man-down-in-hatchet-town]

Professor Birthday Isn't Famous Episode 4 "TEEN" Thoughts

So, no fun, silly guests this week. But If you can't tell by the way this blog low-key turns into a Brian Holden fan page anytime I watch something he's in, I love me some Brolden. I think he's a comedic tour-de-force, overall delight, and just the bees-freaking-knees. So any episode that allows him to go nuts for an entire 13 minutes will be right up my alley.

And what a thirteen minutes it was!

I loved how the dynamic between Fritz and Professor Birthday turned completely inside out. Fritz has always been the patient-but-slightly-exasperated voice of reason to Professor Birthday's head-in-the-clouds emotional impulse, so it was super fun to see them swap roles. Professor Birthday is such a great character, and getting to see her operate as the sole responsible party and handle a serious situation with a professional competence really showed off another side of her. We got to see why, for all her eccentricity, she's the person who keeps Birthday University up and running. And the reveal that Fritz is secretly also a bit of a loose cannon who acts on impulse (really, Fritz? Eating mysterious chemicals??) and writes music adds a lot to him as well.

Speaking of, I've been thinking about the clip in Meredith Stepien's Professor Birthday vlog in which Jade (Eric Kahn Gale's wife) says she's sad because she thinks Fritz is genuinely in love with Professor Birthday, and Brian immediately agrees. Listening to this episode, and thinking about the larger context of the show (Fritz's endless patience, dedication, and passion for this trying podcast in which he plays a thankless role), that conversation makes a lot of sense. Poor buddy.

But the music! This is our first episode in which Professor Birthday herself doesn't sing, leaving Fritz to take center stage. And "I'm In Love With My Boss" is an absolute banger. Clark nailed that genre of pop-rock with parodic perfection and I knew exactly what we were in for from the very first second (the opening is very "Stacey's Mom"). It might not be the most intricately composed song in the soundtrack (God, I hope they release a cast album), but it might be the one I end up listening to the most. Trust me, guys. It's an absolute blast to head-bang to and sing along with, even if you don't actually love your own boss. And the choral version at the end is super fun too!

You know, I always find these sorts of portrayals of teens to be slightly overwrought. I've always been very good at staying outwardly calm and collected when around other people, and don't feel like I was any worse at that as a teen than I am as an adult. However, the joke about teens making art that's way less subtle and clever than they think it is hit home so hard that it instantly overcame any other misgivings.

I also liked that Brian's voice actually got a little deeper, instead of going for the squeaky teen-boy voice breaks. That choice really allowed the emotion Fritz was feeling to come though.

So, yeah, another banger of an episode! Like Professor Birthday herself, my only real, substantial complaint is that we didn't actually get to talk about birthday phone calls with extended relatives. Please, Eric, I would love to hear your take on those awkward societal observances. I hated them as a kid.

Quote of the episode: "Whatever feelings you might or might not have, just... repress them! :)". Professor Birthday, keeping it real about adulthood as always.

[paulsrace]

Boiling a Frog

What do you do when neurological degeneration creeps up on your spouse? Recently this "slave master" showed up at our door again, this heavy yoke that presented itself in a diagnosis 4 years ago. It has no time line, no appointments made. It just shows up again, and who knows when again. It doesn't care. How does anyone grieve something that is slow and yet so uncertain? Who endures this kind of unknown without fading?

I felt gutted, thinking that his mobility could be stabilized with physical exercises. I was only ever tormented by the idea of him completely losing his hearing. He is still continuing to lose his hearing. And who knows what else is being attributed to this condition. Should we now think of wheelchairs and ramps and adaptations? We have too many adventures yet to go on.

I felt raw in my flesh as we acknowledged the evidence. An intimidating heaviness like the breath of the beast of unkindness was in front of my face. The only way I could respond to it was through rage or nothing at all.

Then, I went to my Father, remembering my own prayer 4 years ago, that even if healing never happened in this lifetime, I still wanted to be a testimony of His goodness to us. I felt like such a fool. No one was going to care how well-behaved or "spiritual" I am or have been! I certainly don't. I was not going to pretend to "draw near to God" just to get the miracle for my husband. It seems, without this, I would absolutely fail to want to be close to God. Who cares.

Yet You showed me that You would generously heal my husband even if I was that sly. You are "gooder" than good like that.

I recognized that I was pitting my own Life Source against my husband's healing. The ultimate twisting of my Lord's arm to DO SOMETHING. But it does nothing but results in a kind of strange spiritual anorexia, starving myself for no good reason.

I have no faith of my own to muster up to believe. Yet I know God is no trickster like man. I can trust because He is the very essence of trustworthy. God plays no games in loving me and my husband. And through this, there is no reason to fear for perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment. He is not a punisher! And that which is fearful have yet to be perfected in love. O Good God!

Therefore, the door is wide open for me to draw close to God, to come boldly to the throne of grace, to ask for the miracle, declaring complete healing now, with no more need for justification. No shame. No fear. No more striving for the joy of our salvation. This Holy Sabbath has been since time began!

With my whole heart, with my whole life, and with my innermost being, I bow in wonder and love before You, the holy God! Yahweh, you are my soul's celebration. How could I ever forget the miracles of kindness you've done for me? You kissed my heart with forgiveness, in spite of all I've done. You've healed me INSIDE AND OUT from every disease. You've rescued me from hell and saved my life. You've crowned me with love and mercy. You satisfy my every desire with good things....

Lord, you are so kind and tenderhearted to those who don't deserve it, and so patient with people who fail you! Your love is like a flooding river overflowing its banks with kindness...

You know all about us, inside and out. You are mindful that we're made from dust. Our days are so few, and our momentary beauty so swiftly fades away! Then all of a sudden we're gone, like grass clippings blown away in a gust of wind, taken away to our appointment with death, leaving NOTHING to show that we were here. But Lord, your endless love stretches from one eternity to the other, unbroken and unrelenting toward those who fear you and those who bow face down in awe before you.

-- Psalm 103 Passion Translation

[magicalbuffalotransformerman]

[been a while since i did a lore post. sorry for the wait if you actually wanted to see my garbage lol. got a good couple of fics in the works right now. otherwise. enjoy this. i guess.]

[devastator's rolling around on the moon. intel says that there's an autobot outpost up here that lord megatron wants gone. he cites personal reasons. devastator assumes that his personal time's been interrupted more than once by the outpost somehow.]

[devastator spots a shining light across the vast lunar valley, so he stops to spy on whatever's casting it from long range. turns out: yup. autobot outpost. big one, too.]

D: lunar rover to ground control, i've spotted the target. how copy, over?

['ground control', in this case nebula, responds.]

N: loud and clear, lunar rover. give 'em a good old-style whoppin' for the boys back home. over.

D: roger, moving to devastate. over and out.

[devastator begins rolling once more, crossing the kilometer worth of valley between his cliff and the outpost's front gate in a couple of minutes.]

[An Autobot security personnel halts the unknown vehicle in its tracks.]

Guard: This is a high-tech Autobot outpost! Identify yourself!

[devastator aims for the face, and obliterates him.]

[The Autobot is decapitated, and his corpse glides smoothly away from the impact point, before coming to a controlled stop against the wall.]

[since sound doesn't travel on the moon very well, someone would've had to have seen this happen for the alarm to begin blaring... unfortunately for devastator, someone did see this happen, and so the alarm's lights flash red across the outpost.]

[devastator blasts the gate apart, and rolls in to fight the autobots inside.]

-

[...it only takes 30 minutes.]

D, in need of repairs: lunar rover to ground control: outpost liberated. what's next; over?

N: discussing what's next with the boys back at base. sit tight. over and out.

[devastator transforms, relishing in the destruction he caused to the lunar outpost while he waits for clarification. he hops around on one foot, the opposite leg's hip actuator having been damaged.]

-

N: boys. what's next?

BC: how's the outpost? any damage to speak of?

N: oh, yeah. it's damn well devastated.

BC: good to hear. let's have marrowbomber haul devastator and any good loot out from the wreck and call it mission accomplished.

N: i hear ya. transmitting to devs.

BC: make sure he returns in one piece - marrowbomber too. i hear the moon's dust particles are particularly brutal against our metal.

N: understood.

-

N: ground control to lunar rover: you're free to haul any worthwhile loot out from the outpost and get it home. over.

D: alright. how will i get it home; over?

N: same way you got to the surface: marrowbomber; over.

D: affirmative; moving to locate and contain the good stuff. over and out.

[devastator searches the compound for some good loot to bring home, and finds a bunch of resources such as experimental weapon blueprints and schematics for new vehicle modes. he even finds a nice lunar rover to bring along for the ride.]

[marrowbomber sets down next to the outpost.]

MB: shuttle to lunar rover. howdy.

D: hey, air support. what took you so long?

MB: had to stretch my legs. you don't know how stressful it is to try and fly in an atmosphereless environment in a conventional jet form.

D: i pray to never find out. here; i got some good stuff from the wreck. moving it inside your hold now.

[marrowbomber waits patiently for devastator to get it all in, and get in himself.]

MB: alright... where to now?

D: home sweet home. i trust you'll get home fine?

MB: ...pray to primus.

[marrowbomber takes off with a little bit of effort, escaping the moon's gravity swiftly and trying his god-damndest to get home safe and sound.]

[it takes him quite the unholy amount of effort... but god damnit, he makes it to the earth's atmosphere. not without some trauma, of course. no one wants to be lost in space.]

MB: oh. oh, god. homeward bound! fuck...

[devastator whistles in a satisfied and grateful sort of tone.]

[muffled celebrations erupt over the comms.]

N: welcome back to antarctican airspace, marrowbomber!

MB: thanks for the warm reception. that was... fucking horrifying. i never want to do this shit again.

N: i hear ya loud and clear, don't you worry. i'm setting down now to greet ya properly.

MB: see you then.

[marrowbomber directs his attention to devastator.]

MB: devs?

D: that was some of the worst rattling i've heard yet. you gonna be okay, mate?

MB: i... do not think so, no. we need a dedicated shuttleformer. not me. never again.

D: yeah, i get that. you want some energon from my personal stash once we land?

MB: oh, fuck, please.

D: hah! you got it, big man.

[marrowbomber sets his wheels down onto the cold, icy runway once more, and skids to a stop.]

N: whey! how's the big man doin'?

MB: i need a nap. and probably therapy.

N: heh... yeah. understandable. i made a deal with bonecrusher, he'll let you rest for a few months if need be. take your time off, my man, you earned it. [she pats marrowbomber's wing.]

MB: yeah... thanks.

[devastator hobbles out of marrowbomber's cargo hold, and dirtbuster takes over storage duty.]

D: he says we need a dedicated shuttleformer. see you in the base.

[nebula nods in response.] N: sounds like a good idea.

[nebula sits with marrowbomber and chats with him about various topics while dirtbuster gets his cargo hold cleared.]

[it only takes dirtbuster a couple of minutes to haul the loot out of there, and pats his tail end to let him know he's free to transform.]

[marrowbomber transforms, kneeling on the ground and keeping his space sickness on the inside... somehow.]

N: ...hey, are you gonna be fine, marrow?

MB: [gag]... nope. wh... where's devs?

N: he's in the base. i saw him hobblin' pretty wobbly though. might be getting some repairs from patchwork.

MB: l... let patch know i might be sick.

N: yeah, you got it, homie. sit tight.

[nebula gets off of the ground and pats marrowbomber's shoulder, moving to let patchwork know.]

[he kneels there. his brain is spinning. his body is churning. everything feels like utter shit. he needs a drink. everything hurts. he can't think.]

[bonecrusher gets to marrowbomber's side, cuddling with him to keep him calm.]

BC: hey now, big guy... lay down, rest your head. you're gonna be fine, bomb bay.

[bonecrusher pushes marrowbomber over to the base, making sure not to put too much pressure on certain areas.]

[marrowbomber leans on the wall of the base, able to see inside through the window. he holds onto bonecrusher, grateful that he's being so comforting tonight. he keeps him close, needing some warmth from him.]

[bonecrusher nestles deep into marrowbomber's frame, cuddling him for as long as he needs.]

[noticing marrowbomber lookin' like shit outside the window, groundrumbler opens the window and hands marrowbomber a cube of energon to help him out.]

[well, ain't this nice.]

[khaire-traveler]

Hey there, I've been worshipping Hermes for a few years now!

In my experience, he is very kind, helpful, and funny. He's always able to cheer me up when I'm down and helps considerably with staying positive (which is something I personally struggle with). He does his best to help when I ask, even when I'm unable to give something in return. He is extremely understanding and forgiving with offerings and the like, and he's been very patient with me in the past when it comes to mental health. He's honestly one of the deities I'm closest with, and I consider him my Best Friend. I trust him with anything and everything. c:

I've heard from others that he sometimes likes to play pranks, but I haven't experienced this very often at all in my practice. He can definitely be very silly, though, but it's always in a lighthearted and fun way. c: He cares a lot about helping people find a love for life. The way he can turn your luck around almost instantly is wild. He's very calm and has a grounding presence. Sometimes when he's around, I find myself feeling more High-Energy in a positive way; I tend to be more motivated to get things done which is incredibly helpful for me. Also, he makes a great gaming partner! I invite him to play video games with me sometimes, and it's always lots of fun.

Something I don't see people discuss often is also his handiness with divination. Being a god of communication, he is extremely helpful for learning and practicing any form of divination. I find his messages to be the clearest and most comprehensible of all the deities I've interacted with, personally. He's also very skilled with witchcraft, in my experience, and has assisted me immensely in casting spells and curses. c:

Hope this helps! Please feel free to ask me anything; I love talking about Hermes XD

people who worship or work with hermes!! tell me about what he's like :)

[thebomb-thebird-andtheburntbitch]

Ehem…may i request some content on reader that draws (again) 🥺 kyojuro has really pretty eyes right? And so i wanna know what his response would be if reader mid sketching tells him that, and that they’d like to try and paint his eyes some time soon (as in ask him to be a model) 👀✨how would that conversation go?

a/n: im finALLY writing again- who knows how long this brain blast will last LOL - E im sorry this took so long!! thanks for being patient with me lol ;n;

-x-x-x-

it's become a very common occurrence that kyojuro is present during your downtime- whether than be reading, resting or indulging yourself in your hobbies

your hobby in art still fascinates him and entertains him

he really likes checking on your progress from time to time to see how you start and how you do things to get the end result

he's also verY supportive in your process- even if you say that you hate it even though youre not close to finishing, he makes sure you have enough encouragement to keep going!

kyojuro is 'trust the process personified and put through an amplifier

its in one of your sit-ins that he's reading a book that had been recommended to him through senjuro that you find yourself watching him instead of the other way around

instead of sitting in your art room, you were both sitting out on the engawa enjoying the weather with your sketchbook in your lap

you sketched whatever you saw, a tree, a flower, a patch of grass, a quick sketch of a bird before it flew away

it's getting later in the day and the golden hour is just around the corner of the clock

the golden hour is the best time of day for kyojuro- there was no question about it. it made him seem like a walking candle- burning brightly and lighting up whatever area he wander in

bring warmth with him along with his light

his eyes were the most brilliant of all like the burning wick of a candle that smolders and flickers with embers that fan it's own flames

he looks up from his reading momentarily to check on you beside him, maybe ask if he could see how far you've gotten in your sketching but was shocked to see you already looking at him

it wasn't like you to get distracted in the middle of a piece since you get so absorbed in your work

had something happened while he was distracted perhaps?

"Is something wrong, my dear?"

"you know," you start and his book gently closes, one of his fingers between the pages to keep his place while he offers you his undivided attention

"has anyone told you the sun looks good on you?"

he laughs at your compliment, and you don't even find it in you to be embarrassed because it was so very true

the sun did look good on him

tremendously good

"what brought that on?"

"it's just a fact," you tell him before using the back end of your pencil to move his hair around and open up the side of his face to show off his sideburns

the way your pencil cast a shadow over one of his eyes and left the other to glow in the early evening sunlight made you realize something

"i'd really love to paint your eyes kyojuro"

he says nothing as you start murmuring to yourself

"the way they still seem to glow even under a shadow, and this time of day is the perfect time for them to shine. they're such a pretty color too"

"you think my eyes are pretty?" he asks and of course, your flabbergasted that he could even think you didn't think that!

"obviously! not only are they pretty, they're emotional eyes. you can convery so many feelings through them without even speaking."

"i've never been told that before," he told you clearing his throat. "I must say, i am rather embarassed to hear you say so."

you laughed at him, leaning into his sholder as he ruffled at the hair you had previously been holding away from his face with your pencil

"thank you for saying so, my dear"

"i'm always willing to state the obvious- just for you though"

later on when it's far too dark to read or sketch anymore, you both head back inside and he stops you as you put away your sketchbook and pencil

the flickering candles and dim lighting of the indoors suits his eyes well too you can't help but notice

"do you really want to paint me- my eyes?"

"are you offering?" the way you said it with so much hope and excitement made him feel bashful in a new way he hadn't felt with anyone else

how could he ever turn you down when you seem so excited?

short answer: he couldn't

even shorter answer: why would he?

-x-x-x-

a/n pt.2 : i'm out of practice okAY