#i've been thinking about going to a local ace support group

[stupidlittlespirit]

im sorry to hear that you're actively losing your relationship due to being ace.. thats genuinely devastating

it's alright babe, at the end of the day I'll always have this smokin hot bod and this clean bill of mental heal-..... this smokin hot bod!

[ace-of-bass]

Also: Building community is not just an outreach tool. It is a tool of keeping ourselves safe and keeping resources available to all. Offering things on social media like rides to abortion clinics, or diy hrt, or anything else that is perhaps not-totally-legal in all places, is not a great strategy. For one, you shouldn't trust strangers on the internet with information that sensitive, so those you are offering those services to would do well not to trust you. If you want to meaningfully contribute to providing things such as the above, or even more legal-but-logistically-complex things like feeding a large number of people, handing out narcan, etc, you need to organize in person. How do you organize in person? By meeting people in person, aka building community.

If this is your goal, you can start with people who are very similar to you! You don't have to start by reaching out to Alt Right David or even Annoying Uncle Bill - you can start by going to a local show or a group that meets at the library or hanging out with your D&D group when you're not actively playing D&D. Then, you have friends that you can rely on to take care of you, and who you might be able to plan some cool mutual aid shit with. I've been working on building community for awhile, at first not intentionally and lately very intentionally, and here's how I met the group of friends I started a monthly free store with:

1. Met Friend A at a choir thing since I like to sing and was looking for friends after moving somewhere new. Friend A ultimately left choir but we stayed friends, and at one point I told Friend A I'm ace.

2. Friend A said, "oh you'd love my friend B, who's also ace! She's doing a comedy show, let's go see her perform together and then you can meet her!"

3. Friend B and I become friends, and start a local peer support group for aspec people, based mostly on Friend B's existing communities and our sheer determination.

4. Fast forward a year and a half, Friend C comes to our aspec peer support group and I become friends with her.

5. Friend C and I are talking about activism, and Friend C says a lot of the things I'm interested in aligns with what Friend D has talked to her about. Friend C introduces me to Friend D.

6. Independently, I have been building a community space on my street, in the rough neighborhood of where Friend C, Friend D, and I live.

7. Friend D and I want to create a solarpunk future but decide to start small. Friend D ropes in several of his friends, one of whom I happen to know from the community space mentioned in 6.

8. This group of friends runs a free store once a month in the community space, open for all to donate to and all to attend. As we find out about others who are doing/want to do similar things, we try to join forces. In this way we've expanded from just a free store to a free store + clothing swap, and we're only on our third time hosting it.

All of these friends are lefty, and all of them are queer in some way or another. The free store friends are explicitly anarchist, like me. I think OP's point is useful for deradicalization and for growing the movement, but if you are alone and you are scared, encouragement to build community is just as much about finding your people in person as it is about forming coalitions with those different in you.

Another important note is that finding people like you should be a starting point, not an ending point. The goal of this is not to find friends, though that's a good start. The goal is to build dual power, which is done by working together with others and having open doors to join the movement. Once you've found some friends or communities, work to ensure that they are open to all, that you are reaching the people who most need the work you are doing, and that you are not simply making yourself feel good or just having a good time with your friends.

Activism is not cold-calling.

Activism is not cold-calling, and this is critically important to understand.

I'm seeing a lot of posts on here about 'building bridges' and 'finding community,' and then (extremely valid) response posts saying "BUT HOW??" And I'm going to explain something that can be very counter-intuitive: there is strategy involved in community.

As a longtime volunteer labour organizer, I’ve taken and taught many trainings on the strategy of talking. Something that surprises a lot of people is the very first thing you do in a union campaign. You sit down with your organizing committee, take out pen and paper, and literally map it out. You draw a physical map of the workplace: where are the entrances, exits, break rooms, supervisor offices. Essentially, ‘where is it safe to have a union conversation.’ Then you draw another physical chart of your coworkers. You sort out who is union-friendly, openly hostile to unions, or somewhere in the middle, and then you plan out very deliberately and carefully who talks to whom and in what order.

Consider: If Vocally Leftist Jane walks up to Conservative David and says "hey what do you think about unions," David is going to shut down immediately. He's not inclined to listen to Jane. But if Jane talks to Moderate Jason and brings him into the fold, then Jason is a far more effective strategic choice to talk to David, and David may actually hear him out without an instant reaction.

IMPORTANT CAVEAT: If Conservative David turns out to be Alt-Right David, and could be dangerous to follow organizers, we write him off. We are not trying to reach Alt-Right David. We are trying to reach Conservative David, who may actually be persuaded to find solidarity with other employees as fellow workers. Jason is a safe scout to find out which one he is. It does no one any good if Leftist Jane (or even Moderate Jane who is a visible minority) talks to Alt-Right David and puts herself on his radar. Not only has she done nothing to convince Alt-Right David to join a union - she's probably actively turned him against the idea - but now she's also in danger and the entire campaign is at risk. NOBODY WANTS THIS. Jane was NOT a hero for doing this. The organizing committee was foolish and enacted a terrible strategy to everyone's detriment.

Where you can make a difference is with people who will listen to you. You having a conversation with your well-meaning but clueless Centrist Democrat Auntie, and maybe gently helping her understand some things the media has been glossing over, is way more strategically useful than you marching up to MAGA Neighbour You've Met Once and trying to "build community" or "understand" them. They don't care. They're impervious, dangerous, and cruel. But maybe your beloved auntie will think about what you said, and then talk to her friend Anna who IDs as "fiscally conservative" but didn't vote because she can't bring herself to get on board with Trump. Then perhaps Anna talks to her brother Nic who has MAGA leanings but isn't all the way there yet. Proto-MAGA Nic would not have listened to you, nor would he have listened to Centrist Democrat Auntie, but he might absorb some of what his sister is saying.

This is not a cop-out or an echo chamber. This is you spending your time and energy strategically and safely. You are not a useful activist to anyone if you’re dead. Anyone who is telling you to hurl yourself directly at MAGA assholes like cannon fodder has no understanding of the strategy behind community building, and you should feel comfortable writing them off.

Last point: If you are tired, emotionally devastated, and/or in danger: take a break. This post is for people who would feel better jumping into action, not for people who are too overwhelmed to even think about it right now. You are worth so much even if you’re not actively Doing Activism, and your rest is worth more than “a break period so you can recharge and Do More Activism.” We all deserve the individual dignity of being worthy of comfort, rest & safety just on the basis of being human, outside of whatever we're doing for others' benefit. To deny ourselves that dignity is to devalue ourselves, and that’s the absolute last thing any of us should be doing right now.

[the-eclectic-fox]

Convention Etiquette

First day of comic con down! Lots ...lots happened today. Good and bad ...mostly not great.

But one thing that happened all day that pissed me off to the point I actually blew up at the guy, was, every time there was someone at my table looking, he would call to them and draw them away from my table. Even if I was talking to them. Don't. Fucking. Do. That. Shit. It happened ALL DAY. So finally I'd had enough and I got in the guys face (he was twice my size and twice my weight but I've been awake for 43.5 hours). I, actually managing to bite my tongue and not yell or swear but said "Hey Bud, can you do me a favor? How about WAITING until the people are done looking at my table before calling them away. I paid just as much as you did to be here." He stuttered and tried to argue so I just raised my voice and said "THANK YOU." Then, my sarcasm got the better of me and when he let a customer pass my table before talking to them I applauded and said "there, was that so hard?" And probably louder than I needed to ...

So I got the stink eye the rest of the time ...

I got him black listed so I still think I came out on top.

Artists are a community. You do not compete, you do not bully, you do not shame, you do not steal. You build up, you help, you support. If people come to me and are looking for something that I don't have but have seen, I will direct them there. Hell, I bought a bunch of prints from an artist (like, a professional artist - more pro than my amateur ass) and he thanked me for supporting him like 5 times, like sweetie, it's what we do! Your work is stunning so take my money and start telling me all about how you created it! (He published books with work from like frigging Ramon Perez)

In new comic con tradition I got some new tattoos, which if I get the chance to stream this coming week you will get to see them! I'm slowly getting all my fingers tattooed. I have very high pain tolerance (I'm a ginger with neurological damage, my body has a weird relationship with pain) and my friend has a very light touch (I always recommend him to people with low pain tolerance or scared first timers) so the first few passes feel like nothing. And it's so nice cause like an hour before that his wife ran up behind me and humped my ass (I would explain my friend group ...but I really can't ...the worst is when she did it, I had to look and see who it was because so many of my female friends greet one another that way) and then I talked with him about art, comics, and how much bullshit AI art is. It was amazing, and how I started my day.

It was mostly down hill from there. To block the glaring sun they put up curtains ...but the curtains covered the vents for the AC. SO basically - a sauna. But my system has been a little messed up so my hands were like ice and trembling non-stop while the rest of me was overheating and sweating.

No one was buying anything and we were almost completely dead the entire day. We talked to a lot of people and NO ONE is impressed this year. The weather was beautiful and there was a fair going on not far from it so that really killed us. I'm hoping that the new trend of Sunday's being busier continues on because the asshole beside me left (not because of me, he was only there today anyways) and the Art Director specifically gave me the table to spread out to for Sunday so I'm gonna put all my clearance out and make it look nice.

I hope tomorrow is a better day but I'm starting to lose faith in Comic Cons in general (not just the local one).

[aikainkauna]

Ok, OK, you guys! Since the two of you who actually give a toss about these are still here, I might as well crosspost this one here.

So, for a while, now, I've had this urge to draw the Of Roses Unfurling gang like one of the Addams Family movie posters. But as you can see, I keep running out of space! An A5 sketchbook really isn't ideal for group portraits, but I was too far in with this one to quit in the middle (I can never ditch even wobbly work; that's my problem. If I've put heart and soul into it, it becomes alive and I would feel like cutting off a digit if I ditched it). So you get a very squashed-up version.

ALSO, I came up with an entire complex explanation behind Zahra's last-minute fixing of Yassamin's veil! Since normally, *Yassamin* is the OCD neurotic of the two who tears her hair out over household stuff, and Zahra is the more sensible, down-to-earth one who helps Yass keep her shit together, right? So I figured she wants that veil to look good for a reason--that this is some official portrait which also serves to showcase her work as a seamstress. So that must mean she has career plans beyond just housekeeping--Yassamin has wanted her to leave it to the less super-skilled servants anyway so Zahra could really shine at all that crafts stuff she's ace at. So, Zahra, off-screen, has been getting together with some local women at the mosque and at the baths, other black freedwomen especially, and guess what? They are starting a sewing/tailoring guild of their own, serving their own community because they're sick of being looked down upon (not getting work from some posh fucks who think associating with blacks is impure, which is what you got at the time) and want to establish an industry of their own. (This actually did happen at the time, BTW; medieval Persia was so diverse an empire that you had brotherhoods for everything from black artisans to blind Qur'an readers to transvestite musicians.) SO this elaborate embroidery is going to be a bravura piece for Zahra, a mistresswork, if you will. Something that will be presented as an example of what she--the guild's president--and the guild as a whole are capable of doing. And I also expect that the veil looked fine when Zahra finished it, but because Yassamin is such a klutz (or because Jaffar has torn it from her quivering body and used it to tie her wrists while bumming her wildly on the garden bench), it has at least one run in it by the time they pose for the picture.

*Inhales* *Exhales* anyway.

Sonbol is, as usual, So Very Done With This Shit But At Least He Is Paid Well, Fadl is being his usual belligerent bastard self (the man needs some Prozac!), Salsabil I deliberately wanted to sport a chilling Wednesday face (poor Ishtiaq is not happy about being used as a rag doll), Anwar is a nerd as usual and Zainab's doing what she does best: bling and boobs and hair.

It's funny how it's all the supporting characters who are actually doing something characteristic, here, something that relates to "gen" stuff (i.e. them having lives), and Jaffar and Yassamin are just busy being lovers. That's kind of what you get when you build a story on the basis of a ship and most of it concerns their sex life, I guess--OCs have always been the plot-enabling, gen-type elements for me first and foremost. I can't *believe* there are a full FOUR characters in here who they haven't shagged (and newbies note: I'm still not over how these bastards got cynical, old childfree me to even write kids and family fluff of all things, but Connie is a fucking boundary-pusher who will make you enjoy even things you'd normally be turned off, even deeply squicked by). FOUR! Ok, so Zahra once unfed in the background of one of Jaffar's harem orgies and he gave that sex device to Sonbol to help him get off despite his eunuchness, but still. What has become of me?!

Anyway, enough rambling. But there you are: I have proven once and for all that these guys really just ARE a 1001 Nights version of the Addams Family.

[bytes-and-blessings]

So I'm not gonna tell all the details about my personal story, cause I'd rather not dox myself. But I've been a part of Eden Invitation for the last few years, and I love being a part of the community and can attest to spiritual growth in my faith. (For full clarity, I've never been in a time and place to go to a Courage meeting, so I have to go off the mixed bag of other people's experiences.)

I'd encourage you to check out their website for the full mission statement, check out some blogs if you like the vibe, and fill out contact form if you'd like to talk to a community volunteer and get more info on how to join the discord group https://www.edeninvitation.com/ . You could also read "Can You Take the Cup" by Henri Nowen to get a sense of the type of books read in book clubs

But also, let me try to summarize:

What I've gathered that separates Eden Invitation from Courage is that EI is not a Catholic support group, it's a Catholic Community of Mutual Support. This is not to say people haven't found community through Courage, and there are Eden Invitation community volunteers who run groups for Sex Addicts Anon - but Courage chapters are run by a local priest for each diocese, and inspired in it's structure by groups like AA. Eden Invitation was founded by two Catholic LGBTQ women trying to figure out where they fit in the Catholic Ministry space of 2017 that has since exploded into an online international community led by LGBTQ Catholic staff and Volunteers. Both have done good for people, but where Courage (to me) seems to be looking to answer "how does a Queer Catholic stop having gay sex/looking at porn?" Eden Invitation's focus is more on questions like "I'm trying to live my life as a Queer Catholic, but the Chastity Talks only ever said 'just don't have sex 乁⁠༼⁠☯⁠‿⁠☯⁠✿⁠༽⁠ㄏ'. But what do I actually do with my life now?"

I joined Eden Invitation because I was once a college senior heartbroken over a crush on a girl and trying to figure out life in a pandemic. I expected a lot of talking about chastity, and maybe a chance to get some life advice. What I got was a chance to connect with people who get what it's like to be Queer and Catholic. People who get the loneliness, the fear, the longing. What I found wasn't just "here's how to deal with the gay stuff and move on with life," I found people who could sit with me in the aches and pains and be with me to find new hope in the joys of life. I've parsed through books in book club, I went canoeing with the Aro/Ace group on retreat, people in the discord have helped me deal with theology questions, poetry writing, and roach issues (among other things). I was even a part of a dnd group with some friends from the server for a while.

So overall yeah, I think it's pretty chill

Hm, any other queer Catholics have experience with Eden Invitation? I was talking to a priest about how I wasn’t feeling it with the Courage chapter in my diocese and he recommended I reach out to them. They apparently are less…’behaviorally oriented’ as he put it, with some emphasis on living ‘out’ but still chaste lives.

[acearopositive]

Hi, so, I'm in high school and I recently started thinking I may be asexual, or something close. The idea of romantic relationships and intercourse has always been foreign to me, but I do love to see romance movies or couples being adorable. I don't know who I should go to to talk about this, since my bisexual best friend doesn't believe asexuality exists, and I've already told my parents, who were very accepting, but didn't offer much advice. I'm also fine with platonic love. Am I asexual?

If you feel like asexual is an appropriate label for you right now, then I would say yes, you are asexual. Maybe something on the asexual spectrum might feel appropriate as well. It does sound like you are experiencing a lack of sexual attraction and a lack of romantic attraction (you may also find a place on the aromantic spectrum). But the only person who can label you is you.

I’m sorry to hear that your best friend was not someone you could talk to about this. I’m sure that was disappointing! You may have better luck talking to folks at a school or community LGBTQ+ organization. You may also find a supportive community online, like I did. I also found a local ace meetup group and have gone to a few events with them.

[maryseward666]

METALLICA's LARS ULRICH Discusses His 'Unique' Drumming Style: 'I've Never Been Very Interested In Ability'

RARE BLACK METAL COLLECTIBLES

In a recent interview with Polar Music Prize, METALLICA's Lars Ulrich was asked to describe his "totally unique way of playing drums." He responded (see video below): "To me, it's always about the song and the band first. And the drums, or the guitars, or whatever else is going on, is just part of the big picture. So what you always have to do is you have to check your ego at the door and do what's best for the song, for the music, for the overall sound. "What's always the most interesting to me about drumming is how do you fit the drums into what else is going on?" he continued. "How does it work [with] accents and special hits and kind of things that make it more rhythmic or more dynamic or just add a kind of a physicality to it? "I've never been very interested in ability. 'Oh, wow! This guy is so great!' Yeah, he's so great, but it doesn't mean that he can make it swing, or it doesn't mean that he can make it work within a group or a collective. "As much as I grew up on people like Ian Paice from DEEP PURPLE, who obviously has a lot of ability, I also love people like Phil Rudd [AC/DC] and Charlie Watts [THE ROLLING STONES], who [have] certainly ability, but, I think, to a lot of purists, maybe not so much, because they're not as technical," Lars added. "But they have a different kind of ability that, to me, is as valuable and as precious and as important in that they make it swing, they make it move, it gives it that physicality that it needs. "I've always just looked at drums as more of a group instrument. I've never been very interested in playing drums by myself — you know, sitting down in a basement, practicing drum solos for hours at a time, that's not my thing. So being in a band, writing songs, making records, being part of a gang, being part of a band, that's always fascinated me." As previously reported, METALLICA will receive the Polar Music Prize, a musical equivalent to the Nobel Prize, this spring. The award, which recognizes international excellence in music, will bestow the metal legends with a cash prize of one million Swedish kronor, roughly equivalent to $126,000. The band will donate the money to its own All Within My Hands organization, which aids communities in need with workforce education, food-bank donations and other local services. METALLICA's February 1 show in Lisbon, Portugal kicked off the 2018 European leg of the group's "WorldWired" tour, which will run through May 11 in Helsinki, Finland. The Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame band is touring in support of its tenth studio album, "Hardwired... To Self-Destruct", which came out in November 2016.

[Read More ...]

MY BLOG: http://www.rockoutwithyourcockout.com/

from Rock Out With Your Cock Out http://www.blabbermouth.net/news/metallicas-lars-ulrich-discusses-his-unique-drumming-style-ive-never-been-very-interested-in-ability/ via IFTTT

[kirider]

VVV obligatory read more bc it's long VVV

💡

First toku oc! They were based on the Transteam suits (bc Stalk's suit is still one of my favorites) but I'm trying to redesign them to be more generic. They don't have a plot yet and probably won't have one ever, I do have a characterization for them but they're mainly just a lil guy hanging around for fun. Their animal is a sea angel, they work mainly as support or distraction, and are terrible at close range combat. They're the only one with half a name, "Bright", bc their suit can light up and one of their main gadgets is floating sea angel robots that can light up spaces or work as flashbangs

💻

Ex-aid oc, bc I started the series and loved the concept too much that I had to. They're mainly mainly a videogame modder and dataminer, if they had to be inserted in the plot they would help Kiriya with his investigation via internet before his death (just by investigating the game data that Kiriya sent them, without knowing the full picture), and coming to investigate in person and getting involved directly after they didn't hear from Kiriya for a while. Their gashat is inspired by collectatons (so less combat focus, but they have access to a special inventory/pocket dimension ), and detective games/point and click for the level up. Their gashat also would either come from a cancelled game or something, that they patched together from various datamines

🐕🦎🦚

DGP trio, I needed background character for a fic, ended up getting attached and now they have a personality and are part of the plot. Their game is set in 2010, Geats is also there bc when I started the story I still thought we were going with immortal Ace. The Dog is the obligatory rival for Ace and work in an restaurant, his theme is mainly based on Laelaps, bc of dog and fox; the Lizard is a sweetheart and I love her, lizard helmet bc I thought the logo looked cool; the Peacock is an athlete (in my defense I made her before Lobo i couldn't have known lol) and never turns down a challenge, peacock helmet bc this was a ooo crossover and I wanted one of the riders to have one of Ankh's animals for absolutely no reason cmon I had to :P

🩰

...she only exists bc I like Sieg and I was sad after he left the first time, I wanted to give him a friend in the past. She's a dance student bc of the Swan Lake theme Sieg has, I've also been calling her Odette but it's very much a placeholder name. I have different headcanons for Sieg after seeing the other episodes/movies he's in, so I haven't been using her much.

🐈‍⬛

Other character that exists only for plot reasons, I have no excuse lol. He's for a Den-O × Revice hypothetical crossover bc of various headcanons I have for Imajins and Inner Demons. That's it that's all. His design is very much still a placeholder, the only concrete thing about him for now is that he's based on a black cat, i tried to give him a punk-ish outfit (ripped striped sweater, ripped black pants, boots) but I don't think it shows, especially in a chibi. Scarf is supposed to have the colors of the imajins on the lines

✧Kamen Rider Arcana✧

Fanseries that me and @margarita-is-the-answer are playing around with, theme is tarots, stars and destiny. The main four are Arcana/the Fool, fluffy sunshine boy; Emperor, veteran rider and victim of the "I have to be the strongest rider" arc; Magician, local SillyMan with secondary motives; and Hanged Man, designated redemption arc haver. The weapons are very much still not defined, pls ignore them.

🌺Flower Sentai Something /j🌺

I'm kidding they haven't a name yet, I've been calling them flower sentai but it's clearly only a placeholder. Flower themed group as if you couldn't tell, they were a group project but I ended up adopting all of them. Don't have a plot yet, just that the theme of the enemies would be based on fairies and other folklore tales. The main base is a flower shop/greenhouse owned by Red's family; Orange is a fae creature (she turns into a cat) and the one that handed them the transforming devices; White is the sixth ranger and they're not allowed near the plants, they will kill every plant they touch. The others have a general characterization but not much yet. There's no Blue bc there's no braincells in this team (don't let the slight blue tint know White trick you they don't know what they're doing either). There's a Violet Dark Ranger who's plot is connected to Orange but I haven't designed her yet.

[29/07/2023]

I got one (1) comment asking for my ocs so woe, lil' guys be upon you (blame Si /j)

I was just trying to count them, I didn't realize how many I have. It's not even all of them, skipped the ones that don't have a design yet (I have at least two more sentais, and a bunch of villain monsters bc of story reasons). That has to be too many.

Emotes next to them are the tags I use for them, since none of yet have a name yet (I am bad at naming rip me o|-( )

Mini ramblings about them in the reblog (for organization reasons)