#i've been prediabetic off and on for a decade and my last A1c was 5.5 so it's not getting worse & i need doctors to get off my ass about it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jmtorres · 6 months ago

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in a variant of useless arguments that unfortunately i can't just use the block button on, i am reliving a wtfry from like five years ago because i'm trying to sort through my medical history and figure out if i have any further lurking disasters and i'm currently stuck on

me: i am trying to eat healthier so i want to add more fruits and vegetables to my diet

nutritionist: no don't eat more fruits! that's too much sugar! sugar is bad for you!

like really we're not talking about processed foods or added sugars, this person straight up told me there was too much sugar in raw, fresh fruit

#please god let my labwork imbalances rebalance #i've been prediabetic off and on for a decade and my last A1c was 5.5 so it's not getting worse & i need doctors to get off my ass about it #and I absolutely KNOW if you push me certain ways about food i'll go orthorexic if not anorexic #(and they won't even treat it like an illness because I'm fat)#(at a checkup last week I was commenting on my surgical recover and i lamented 'and i'm still losing weight' and the doc was like 'good!')#(bitch my weightloss was a symptom of an organ crisis i could have died of. no it's not good! i want to STABILIZE!)#i've spent years disentangling myself from the toxic diet culture shit my mother dumped on me like drink a glass of water to feel full #fuck that i barely ever feel hungry in the first place i need to listen to what signals i do get #and after all my hard work they're gonna try to drag me back in #i just fuckin know it #it's not like trying to balance my current dietary restrictions isn't borderline orthorexic already #but i feel like i have a grasp on why i do it and when moderation vs strict adherence is okay #and from past experience counting calories is the line where i will fully go insane #maybe 25 years on I could resist but i don't want to try #i would rather go on metformin or some other fuckin' drug i don't really need than count calories #ugh it's a week until my next appointment to talk about this it would be great if it would get out of my brain until then #chronic illness #medical bullshit #food bullshit

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