#i've been doing everything in hopes that i'll evebtually feel alright
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My prof said smth i thought about for a long while (please ignore. I just want to scream this into the void, organise my thoughts)
#delete later#vent post#personal#tw sui attempt#she was saying how people who have completed their attempts always seem happy towards the end because theyve set their mind to it#i planned out my attempt very carefully and told absolutely no one until the plan was unexpectedly ruined#i only admitted i wanted to go do it after#that i had a plan when i couldnt do the plan#i guess that was my cry for help#and i catch myself thinking of attempting and planning it out#and i stop i really do#i don't know if i can keep going#i think i'll do something stupid in the incoming month but i'm begging myself not to#i can't help it though#i'm so so so tired#i don't think i can keep going on#i've been doing everything in hopes that i'll evebtually feel alright#ive been following the stupid fucking wellness advices that tell you to exercise ive been going out more ive been eating right#but i feel worse and worse and worse and i'm gradually getting worse#i'm scared and i'm tired
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