#i'm getting worse bc i'm on tour & i feel numb

[didnt-hear-cold-as-you-live]

here’s where i’m @ rn if anybody cares i’m rly fucking struggling

I went to Australia 2x in the last year. i bought the plane ticket before i went the first time over a year in advance, and going there had been something i wanted to do my entire life. so from the end of 2017 - if you’re not counting ‘literally since i was 5 and knew what Australia was’ - i had been looking forward to this, and then when i got home the first time, i literally thought about this guy every single day and had this hope in the back of my mind that i’d see him again, and it was this thing i had to dream about and plan for and look forward to. going to Australia has been as much a part of who i am as shooting music or riding horses or liking the color black.

And then once I returned the first time, seeing this dude reply to / like shit i posted on IG and that kinda thing and imagining what might happen if i saw him again and thinking about how i KNEW i’d end up going back to Australia some day, in part to see him, became like, this key part of my identity, even moreso. Every spark of hope Australia gave me the first time only intensified after that, and every issue & struggle i’ve had in the last 8 months - guy related or otherwise - had me imagining seeing him as a beacon of hope above it. It was a fairytale that i got to escape to every day, and that has been a part of me for the last year, too.

With that combined, that whole country to me has been the only thing that i’ve known to represent hope & happiness no matter what for like, 2+ years now. Wanting to go to that country and loving that country IS who i am. And now knowing there wasn’t enough there to merit me going back there JUST to see him + I’ve pretty much seen the whole country now & would like to go somewhere else + all of that is totally irrelevant anyway because my bank account got fucking NUKED from doing 2 of these trips in 2 years. and i’m struggling really really badly with that. and i also have this like, glaring knowledge that going BACK to Australia again won’t make me happy because once I can afford to do that again anyway, it’ll be years from now and all the people and things about that place that made it so magic to me will be gone or the people will have moved on because it will have been YEARS. Like I know I can never replicate what I had there on these 2 trips and I don’t even have a reason to go back there at all and it’s all just absolutely killing me.

And all of that makes me feel like this giant part of my identity and this thing that has represented hope and something good to look forward to in my life for like, 40% of my adult life, has just been like, torn away from me. and the fact that it represented SO much hope for me on so many different levels, from like a day to day thing w/ interacting with the guy on socials and how that felt like a jolt of energy and a tiny thing that made me excited every day to the whole giant endeavor of the trip to look forward to, and that I have absolutely none of that now and nothing literally at ALL to look forward to on the horizon, knowing that between those 2 trips I probably had the most fun i’ll ever have in my life or at least for YEARS to come, and I can’t simply create something new / exciting for myself bc like i said, my bank account is fried and i can barely leave my house… i kind of feel like i’m literally just floating through time and there’s no purpose to anything and there’s nothing to be excited about and i’m just kind of like…… here droning through every single day and there’s no point to any of it. 

I’ve been trying to find something for 2 weeks now, but there just doesn’t feel like there is anything and everything I pretend that I’ve found feels so fucking fake and like I’m forcing myself to give a shit so I stop feeling depressed, but it all feels fucking empty. even things that would have normally excited me feel like nothing compared to what i’d just been through; it’s like having gotten off a roller coaster and now you’re trying to convince me that a Fisher Price toddler slide 2 feet off the ground is just as fun and i should be happy. I’m empty and I’ve lost myself and i have so much work to do and i know i need to quit being a bitch and just work and get my shit together before I let this depression I’m feeling ruin my life by losing clients and that kind of thing. And I can feel the work slipping through my fingers as emails go unresponded and I simply don’t do things when  i know i’m supposed to be doing them & missing deadlines. But feeling that way makes the stress worse which makes me wanna do it all even less and it’s so hard to buckle down and be like ‘fuck off with being miserable and dO IT YOU SHITHEAD’, which i keep mentally grabbing myself and internally SCREAMING at the top of my lungs, when it all feels straight up meaningless anyway.

yikes.

[dianagj-art]

MIPHA! MIPHA! MIPHA!

I tried to do more of the screenshot/cinematic kinds look but I gave up and just bullshited the backgrounds bc I didn't wanted to look so plain but I also didn't want to do a background

anyways Mipha is here! it's Mipha time!

(Friendly remainder that what's bellow is just copy paste from my draft and there's probably a lot of typos and gramar mistakes)

More of Yiga Link AU

<Previous / next>

A group of young Zoras finds Link's body sinking on the river, south of the Minish Woods. They take him out to land and check on him, he is barely alive and they quickly take him all the way to Zora's domain. They send the fastest of them first to inform the princess and she meets them halfway.

Link's wounds are bad, but she still can heal him, they take him to the domain to keep an eye on him, besides he is still uncouncious. They set him up on that little area for other species when they visit, and Mipha had other healers take a proper look at him.

The princess buys him clothes from a merchant since his are barely existent with so many cuts. The zora recognize those cuts, they know the boy was on a Yiga attack and unfortunately, they find his tattoo behind his neck.

They are not idiots and they fear the boy might be a spy and all was just a set up, the princess still wants to talk to him. Mipha was no fool and she wasn't as naive as most people outside the Domain may think, but she was curious, and there was a feeling in her chest that told her there was more to know about this boy.

Link wakes up in unknown clothes, he has no idea of where he is but soon finds out as he started to look around. He remembers what happened and a hand grips his chest. He knows he shouldn't be alive.

"That was terrible wound you had there," The voice startled him and he instantly stood up to go into combat mode. "Don't stand, you are not fully healed yet." he really didn't have another option, there wasn't a part of his body that did't hurt and the pain brough him down to the bed again.

He looked up to see 3 zoras, two tall ones dressed in armor flanquing a smaller one in shinny red scales and dressed in zora jewerly. The princess.

"Don't be sacred" she said and gestured to her guards to stay put as she walked to him, "I just came to look on your wounds"

Link frowned at that, the princess? Coming here to check on a stanger's wounds? Yeah sure. Link remembers his tattoo and quickly hides it with a simple illution spell that wouldn't take that much of his stenght.

"Dont you have healers for that?" he asked coldly.

The princess laughed lightly "Yes," she admitted and stood by his bed, her amrs behind her body, holding her spear "and they know more about hylian anathomy than I do, but they can't do what i can. Your wounds were bad enough to require my assistance."

Link frowned again, "what does that mean?"

Mipha smiled and gestured at the bed, "Can I?" Link recoiled his legs, leting her space to sit down, the princess did, leaving her spead resting on the bed besides her, she extended her hand to him, "give me your arm" she said softly.

Link hessitaded but he rested his arm on her hand. She carefully took off his bandages and let exposed a deep cut on his forearm, the boy winced at the sight.

The princess then put her other hand above the wound and closed her eyes. Her palm started to glow and link gasped loudly. His arm started to feel cold and a bit numb, but the pain was gone, and soon the same sensation washed over his body. It was nice.

Mipha was focused on the wound but she looked up for a moment to catch his expresion, she smiled lightly and looked down again.

The light coming from her palm dimmed until it was gone and his exposed wound wasn't there anymore. Slowly, the pain came back to the rest of his body. Mipha let go off his hand and he lifted his arm to his eye level, twisting it one way and another, trying to see the trick but no, the wound was really gone.

"You... You really have healing powers..." he had herd the rumors but no yiga had actually seen it, just heard things from other people.

Mipha hummed a laugh, catching link's atention, "Outsiders are always so surprissed to see it" she stood up, taking the spear again, "I have other things to attend, but i'll come back to heal the rest of your wounds latter."

She leaves with her guards, a few minutes latter another group of zoras show up. Two of them check on his wounds and tell him to rest while the other two just guarded the entrance. He had a bad feeling, whenever he peeked an eye to the other room he saw a guard. He didn't know if that was normal or if it was because of him.

He rests, too tired to try and transport, and fully knowing that in this state he wouldn't be able to fight. He starts trying to form a plan to get out of there. Taking a swim was not an option, anywhere near water he would be an at disadvantage. He had to make it to the montains that sorrounded Zora's Domain, he could take a run for it once he were back to his feet, he had no idea if zoras were fast runners but they had short legs, he was sure he could outrun them. Once close to the montains he could teletrasnport himself to a higher place and away from them.

Tho he didn't know where to go from there. It's not like he could go back to the Hideout.

Mipha comes back that evening and heals two more of his wounds before leaving. Link is starting to think that maybe her healing magic tires him as much as illutions and trasportation tires him. It takes a few days for him to be fully healed, all the time he is forced to stay on the rooms to "rest"

All the time he feels uncomfortable, he feels watched. It gets worse when he is fully healed and the princess wants to give him a little tour around the domain, everyone always stares at him, or maybe they are looking at their princess and he was just being paranoid.

He had never been to Zora's domain, to be honest, he hadn't seen that much of Hyrule, and he was intrigued to see and learn more.

As they start to walk around the Domain a little red-scaled Zora runs to her and hugs her leg "Sidon!"

"I'm sorry princess," another Zora runs to her, "he's been running away the whole day, he doesn't wan't to do the jump"

"If you don't jump how am I going to teach you to climb waterfalls?" Mipha asked him and he just hugged her tighter, hiding behind her from his instructor.

Link quickly put two and two together and figures out he must be the young Zora Prince, but he was most concerned with the idea forming on his mind. Would they follow him if he jumped? He eyed an opening on the level they were on, and without really thinking about the heigh he kneeled down

"If I jump would you jump?" he asked Siron, "I can't swim as well as a zora would, so if i can make that jump I guess a zora prince would have no trouble doing it, right?"

Siron thinks for a moment then nods. Link walks to the edge and looks down to the long drop. "Having second thoughts?" Sidon's instructor asked him. Link just frowns at him, and takes a few steps back, he took off his shirt and dropped it before sprinting and jumping.

He hits the water gracefully and as he sinks he prapares to transport, but sees a lot of Zoras around him. He sees that at the bottom of the lake there's a whole underwater town that probably outstretched fartest of what he could see. He goes out to the surface and finds it quite hard to not let the current take him away, even when he was under their castle as there were underwater walls shielding him from the strong current of the main water fall of the domain. A few zora heads pop out, looking at him curious. Some heads look younger, maybe teens? And look at him impressed and exited

"SIDON!" Link lifts his gaze and sees someone had jump and the tiny zora splashed in the water. He looks around but the zora prince doesnt come out.

"OW!" something bites his toes and a tiny shark head pops out, sidon smiles with sharp teeth and giggles until the current starts to drag him out. Link lets him, surely other people would help their prince. But they dont they just look, and as much as the tiny zora tried the current kept draging him.

Link reaches out a hand and takes him, wraping his scaly hands around his neck as he swims to the base of the castle structure. He leaves sidon on the rock and climbs up too.

Mipha's head pops out behind him, "you swim quite well for a hylian" Link jumps in surprise, when had she jump? he didnt even see or hear her splash, "You are bleeding," she said and he lifted his feet off the water to see quite a deep bite. "SIDON!" mipha screams distressed, "how many times do i have to tell you it's impropper to bite others!" she lifted herself to the place they were sitting and patted the space between link and her, he puts there his feet and she healed him. As always he stared at her hand facinated.

"I have to thank you, for not letting the curent carry Sidon" she said, "you shouldn't have to, he is 23, he should be strong enough to be able to withstand it." link looks at sidon as he jumps into the water again swiming closer to the rocks. 23? "but I would have done the same" "and thank you for jumping, her instructor had been trying to make him jump all week"

Link looks at his foot and thinks of all the other wounds he had, all the wounds the yiga had made. "I should thank you," he said, "I should be dead. You saved me."

"those wounds were no accident, were they?" she asked, "the yiga were sent to kill you" Link nods, "but why?" he sruggs.

"I have to leave," he said softly, "but i'll hate to leave without paying back what you have done for me,"

Mipha smiles, "I'm sure we'll think of somehting," she stands up, "I know a place you can stay meanwhile. Sidon! Lets go!" he swims to them, his little back fin braking the surface, he jumps towards Link, mouth open. Link backs up but Mipha catches him on the air and hums a laugh. "I'll meet you at the top," she said to link and pointed over his shoulder "you can use the leadder to climb up."

Mipha swims up the waterfall they just jumped from with sidon on her back. They meet at the top and Mipha leaves sidon with his instructor. He runs to link when he shows up and tries to bite his leg, "My prince, dont do that!" the instructor pulls him away before he can do damage and sidon smiles with his spiky teeth.

"I have to apologyze for his behavior," Mipha said tho she is trying not to laugh, "His new teeth just came out and he has a need to bite eveything."

They walk to a village at the top of the mountain overseeing zora's Domain. Mipha pays him a night to stay and tells him good bye. Link is bafled that she has so much trust in him, he plans on just leaving, but he has a chance. He now knew and gained the trust of two zora royals. He knew they were the only heirs of the zora domain and since the king didn't had a mate... He could make a move. And maybe, he could be allowed back with his people.