#i'm yelling and crying and shaking my fists!! i wanna write this subject in a thread!!

[tvrningout-a]

don't mind me but i'm thinking about the fact that chiyo's never been in a fight or purposely hurt someone before. she's never had to kill anyone before -- why would she in a modern age where violence isn't the norm in day to day life? yet mal brings her into this world where fighting is a necessity, where most who travel at least know how to wield a dagger or a sword or a bow or something. he makes her his champion and expects her to wield magic in order to save and protect others, yes, but to cut down enemies as well. he expects her to accept violence into her life bc for so long, it has been part of his and those he loves. but it's not that easy.

chiyo cries the first time mal kills a rabbit so she can eat. she gets sick the first time she sees him kill someone. she has an anxiety attack when she first stabs someone trying to kill her ( they don't die from it, but her hands are red, red, red ). and it's really not even the fear that makes all of this so hard bc chiyo can work through fear, suppress it. it's the idea of taking a life. it's hard to come to terms with. it's hard to think of it as necessary even though it really is at times. and mal feels guilty about that, which is why he initially doesn't push chiyo too hard to fight.

she eventually gets used to the violence that comes with living in dorverold but :' )) man is it rough for someone like chiyo :' )))

[hotsummersimpingogacc]

te amo - reddie one shot

summary: richie and eddie start taking spanish classes together and richie sees this as an opportunity to confess his love to eddie.

word count: 1699 words

an: this is my first ever ship oneshot. but i honestly am proud of this. and also please excuse any mistakes in the spanish part, even though i do take spanish i am not that good to write such a paragraph without translator.

richie and eddie are around finn's and jack's age in this fic ❤

* - translated text at the end of the fic

* gif not mine *

for years richie had feelings for eddie. the jokes about his mom he always made, they were just defense mechanism. he was scared of his feelings, he was scared of being exposed or being judged by his friends. especially eddie, what if he revealed what he's really feeling and he'd just reject him. this fear was bigger than fear of pennywise himself. he was nothing compared to how frightened richie actually was.

everyday seeing the person he wants to be with the most. whenever eddie smiles richie is melting on the spot, when he's feeling down there's nothing more richie wants to do then hold him and tell him that everything is gonna be okay. sometimes when he sees eddie kissing his mom's cheek he wishes it was his cheek or even better his lips. he felt lonely whenever he was with other losers but when eddie was around it was like he was full again. richie tried to hide his feelings in front of his friends, it'd be weird if they found out the truth.

before the school year ended students had to choose their subjects for next year. and of course boys wanted ti have all classes tomorrow. they choosed them like that. but there was one richie had to beg other guys to take. richie asked them every single day if they'll take spanish with him. the answer was always the same, no. eddie started to feel really bad for richie since he looked like he really wanted to take the class, but not alone. so he decided to take it with him. after all richie needs someone to stop when he's making jokes. after eddie told him he's gonna take the class with him richie thanked him all the way home.

richie actually gained a little confidence after eddie informed him that he's gonna learn spanish with him. maybe he'll be able to tell him about his feelings since they're gonna be a few more hours a week together. maybe he'll finally realize if this is real or not. or maybe he'll swallow his feelings even deeper.

"hey, richie ready to head out?" eddie popped next to richie's locker all excited

"yeah, i'll just grab some things" richie grabbed his books

"so, are you excited?" eddie smiled at him

"little less then before fucking your mom but it's okay i guess" richie shrugged his shoulders

eddie rolled his eyes. he knew this was coming but he didn't expect it to happen before actual class.

"are you gonna do this the whole time? because if yes i'm gonna do anything to get out of that class" eddie explained with his hand near his right ear

"sorry, i just saw the opportunity" richie smirked

"you always see the opportunity, right?"

"you guessed it, señor" richie was pretty proud of his answer

x

first spanish lesson went pretty well. both richie and eddie enjoyed it. of course they had dive into studying right away. they met up at eddie's house after school.

sat down on eddie's bed and tried to learn lines they learned that day

"hola, me llamo richie and i fucked your mom!" richie burst out laughing

"can we at least study without this?"

richie sighed and looked at his textbook. of course he had to make that joke. eddie was so cute while trying pronounce words in spanish. it was so hard for richie to hold back and not kiss him. he was clenching his fist so he wouldn't stroke his cheek. fortunately eddie hadn't noticed anything. he hadn't noticed richie's looks at him, those genuine laughs, all that affection richie had for him. he never noticed and richie was so grateful for it.

there were days he wished eddie would notice. maybe show his love back. maybe kiss richie so richie wouldn't have to. maybe say those words richie was scared to jabber out. i love you, you mean a lot to me, that'd be enough for richie. he'd know that all those feelings he had for all those years weren't one-sided. these were things richie dreamed off when he was laying in his bed at night, trying to fall asleep without eddie on his mind.

x

months were passing and boys were picking up more and more new knowledge from spanish. basic lines and phrases weren't enough for them. they'd go to library in the afternoons and dig some new interesting words.

during these "diging" sessions richie got an idea. there's no way in hell eddie learned how to confess anything to someone in spanish. richie was so sure that this is the only way he can tell him how he really feels. and when eddie will realize what richie told him, he'd be far away from american borders.

richie spent even more time in library, borrowed some books home and started writing down his confession. it was easiest-hardest thing he ever done. putting those words on paper went so fast. he was so certain what he wants to tell him. but when it came to part he had to tell him, face to face his gut thightened and he felt like crying. his hands were sweating and shaking.

richie had the list in his backpack, carrying him everywhere he went. he was scared someone would find it and figure it out. this gave him more anxiety then eddie telling him no or making fun of him.

x

after two weeks of carrying the confession in his backpack, richie was ready to say it to eddie. he made sure they were alone in his house. he sat him down in his living room and sat opposite him. he never sweat this much. his whole body was shivering, covered in goosebumps. he was repeating to himself that this is the best time and there won't be any better time.

"is everything alright rich?" eddie, concerned, look richie straight into eyes

richie took a deep breath and started:

"eds, there's this thing, i've been meaning to tell you for such a long time. so here it is" he put his glasses back up on his nose, took another deep breath and began talking

*"eddie, te amo. He estado enamorado de ti desde que tengo memoria. y es dificil para mi Te veo todos los días, te escucho reír y me enamoro aún más de ti. cada vez que sonríes o te quejas de que algo es insalubre, trato de contenerme porque solo quiero besarte. cada vez que te sientas mal o enfermo solo quiero abrazarte y decirte que todo estará bien. Esto es lo más difícil que he hecho, pero es más fácil ya que te estoy diciendo esto en español y no tienes idea de lo que estoy diciendo. eds, eres mi amor y haría cualquier cosa por estar contigo" richie could feel tears in his eyes so he immidiately stood up and ran to bathroom

richie leaned against the sink and let the tears stream down his face. he knew eddie was sitting there all confused because has no idea what he just said and why he ran away. richie got it off his chest. he told eddie how he feels, how much he loves him. his list wasn't long but it sure was full of emotions and everything richie feeled.

"hey richie, are you okay?" eddie knocked on the door

"yeah, i just had to make sure my wang is longer than yours before we start messuring them" richie tried to hide his sobby voice

damn it richie, you don't have to hide behind your jokes anymore, you exposed yourself to him.

when richie stepped out of the bathroom he saw that eddie was searching his fanny pack in the hallway

"what you looking for there? your birth control pills?" richie chuckled

"no, but if you're sick or something and you went in there to shit or for god's sake even throw up i have to take my pills so i won't catch anything" richie sometimes wondered how is it possible for eddie to speak this fast

x

days passed since richie told eddie about his feelings. he felt releaved but also really anxious. eddie was totally looking for some words richie had told him. what if he was searching for words like te amo. what if he already cracked them and he's not gonna tell richie so he won't break his heart. richie was overthinking as always.

that day, eddie and richie went to study to eddie's house. they were sitting quietly on eddie's bed both of them reading text they had to read.

"richie?"

"hmm?"

"there's something i want to tell you" richie could feel how his heart skipped a beat

"go on, eds"

"umm, wait" eddie took out a small piece of paper from back of his textbook.

"okay so, yo también te quiero" eddie said with certain confidence

"what?"

"it means i love you too, amor" eddie blinked at richie

"you're fucking with me!" richie yelled out

"i wish i was" eddie chuckled

"wait, are you like serious serious, or did you tell other guys about what i said and they made you say this?"

"i haven't told anyone. richie, this comes from my heart. i really love you! when you said what you said i felt so releaved because i was happy to hear that i wasn't the only one feeling this way. richie i cracked your "i fucked your mom" a long time ago"

"you little fucker" richie smiled

* eddie, i love you. i've been in love with you ever since i can remember. and it's hard for me. i see you everyday, i hear you laugh and i fall in love with you even more. whenever you smile or complain about something being unsanitery i try to hold myself back because i just wanna kiss you. whenever you feel bad or sick i just wanna hold you and tell you it's gonna be okay. this is the hardest thing i ever done but it's easier since i'm telling you this in spanish and you have no idea what i'm saying. so eds, you're my love and i'd do anything to be with you

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@royalydamned @diablvna @queen-irl-af

if you wanna be included please let me know ❤