#i'm wondering how old ppl who play ffxiv usually are
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noxtivagus Β· 2 years ago
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thinking abt that ffxiv gathering n it makes me so happy for so many different reasons
#πŸŒ™.rambles#TYVM FR BTW 😭😭😭😭#i'm rlly v excited to meet that friend offline hehe#me n apollo both n rn it feels sort of like a dream but#rn i'm thinking abt. the ffxiv aspect#DAMN I'M RLLY IN A GOOD MOOD RN TALKING WAS SO FUN !!!!#i love my friends so much 😞🫢🏼#i cld say so much more but hfkshfksfjs brain slow sob but i rlly mean all that ^^#i'm gna do some assignments in a bit n maybe later i'll ramble more. knowing me. v likely#but like rn i'm thinking of ffxiv specifically like focusing on that bcs otherwise i'd ramble sm oops#i miss ffxiv.. πŸ₯Ή sm abt stuff relating to that game both in it n outside of it mean so much to me#i'm wondering how old ppl who play ffxiv usually are#apollo n i started literally the day we turned 14.#n in a span of a year we reached endgame after being in the free trial for like half a year or so#n completed our first raid tier#n then after not rlly v actively playing w other players especially#in the span of a few months we also cleared another raid tier n cleared an ultimate#so yeah 14 we were savage raiders n 15 we were ultimate raiders n mentors already#kinda crazy how time goes by but i'm not gna think of that rn#thinking of how like. it's gna primarily be an ffxiv event n most stuff there will ofc be ffxiv oh my god#i will go out of my comfort zone. that's like.#that. something like that means so much to me#like yk ffxiv n having ppl dear to me too there? that is. my vocab is dead but hgjskjfks πŸ₯ΉπŸ«ΆπŸΌ#Maybe some other friends of apollo n i cld be there too idk we cld invite them but#i don't want to be inconsiderate or smth#when that day comes by i will certainly go out of my comfort zone. goodbye shyness n anxiety for a day.#but like i just wonder. how common it wld be to have ppl around the age of apollo n i having so much progress in ffxiv#hfksjfks thinking too of the fc n crew discord n. it's rlly. idk interesting cool in a way how most of our closest friends#wld meet each other in some way hehe#my mind is full /pos but it's nearly 8:30 so i'll do some other stuff first ><
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wyldblunt Β· 2 years ago
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hi personal post just under a cut, it's not even serious or negative or anything i just feel like blabbering and it's embarrassing to have it out in the open lol
i NEED......... to get over how shy i am abt playing w ppl in game... it's not even just Running Content, i mean i get anxious/shy about even just. goofing around aimlessly/map completing with anyone i haven't known for literally years. or who i am not literally married to.
idk what it is!!! my brain immediately kicks into overdrive and gets completely clogged up with "am i not talking enough. are they getting bored. am i moving too fast/slow. i don't know what to do. this is stressing me out" and i have zero idea how to stop myself from getting like that. literally yesterday (SORRY IF THIS WAS YOU??? I THOUGHT YOU WERE NICE FWIW) someone came up to me and marina in game and said hi nicely and asked what we were up to and i like. Answered Once, and then did not talk again the whole time, and we sort of ran around together for a bit until i kind of lost track of them but the ENTIRE TIME i was agonizing over "am i being totally unfriendly and weird by not chatting. am i coming off like i want them to go away or just generally like an asshole" and as you can see i am also still agonizing about it now. even though objectively it was probably completely fine.
and EVEN WITH very good friends i've known for a long time i clam up like that... when i was trying to get into ffxiv some very good friends stopped by to give me stuff/say hi to my character etc and i got the exact same way!!! ppl i literally talk to all the time on twitter etc but then the second we're behind in game avatars i just get stressed out and start feeling super awkward and aside from like. jumping in place a few times suddenly forget literally every single thing i have ever known about human socialization
but it's dumb!!! and i'm so over it!!!! i wanna run dungeons and fractals and stuff, i even wanna scrape a group together to kind of activate my old guild again and claim a guild hall, stuff like that... and i KNOW the tumblr community is a great way to do that bc u guys are all so friendly and chill and it's way better than trying to throw myself into pugs or whatever. but oh my god. my fucking BRAIN, man
as i type this all out i do wonder if maybe a solution would be getting on voice chat w ppl while trying to play stuff together bc i truly feel like 90% of my anxiety comes from "i cannot type in chat and play at the same time, therefore i get super overwhelmed and confused about how to communicate naturally" and i feel like vc would solve that. but uh. if anyone does not mind sometimes running content with a guy who will probably be mostly silent and weird the whole time (the real glyndwr experience!!!!) please feel free to hit me up and i will get back to u between three and six billion business days
EDIT adding on more bc im still thinking lol. i just have a huge huge fear of coming off like a dick or like im unfriendly or something. ppl have constantly told me im intimidating for ages and it hurts my feelings and i get really antsy about it (this is why i never play reblog games abt like "rate how intimidating the person u reblogged from is" etc bc if anyone actually said they were scared of me i would get sad for real lol!!!). i naturally usually have a kind of flat/dry affect online and i make friends slowly, and i don't feel like changing how i express myself bc it's natural to me but. agh!!!! agh!!!! my wittle feelings!!!!!!
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