#i'm using liberal homophobic slurs and i'm not going to stop | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

meteorsage · 5 months ago

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Things my brain thinks it predicted

In 2019 I committed to a very risky decision

So there I am, 5k miles from home, explaining to someone that if she's not the queen of their block then she's probably in a cult

She says that because I pray I must be in a cult too

I don't remember everything I say, I remeber breaking every point down to explain it thoroughly. She thought it would be funny to have me autistically explain metaphors and I, for reasons that made sense at the time, said "sale y vale"

- iron crown defeats draconian; I thought this would be an astrological event. It was not

- 2 Mayan bros, like the hero story, both in comic book movies from different halves of the world; yall see those Blue Beetle and One Piece live action movies? I'm glad Iñaki got to dub himself

- a rosy idol-of-idols that rises out of a field of grass in the Midwest, and is worshipped by rosy-tinted folks of all shades. Where the Gaga implied, she *is*. She does not have "ironic" enjoyers, only "zealots" and "zero-interests". Karma is her kink, she says so in a song. [The host asked me if that was my favorite song, I said mine was about the pretty pink horses, she references a slur for gay men, I ask if me wearing a pastel star would make things easier for her]

- A movie about a baby deer, effect is people empathetic to men who go though abuse. They still interview the abuser [My host commented that this sounded like a self-pitying fantasy]

- Colbert & Carell reminiscing on the late show when Colbert turns 60 because "60" is when someone is officially Old™️ [The host asked about Carell, I said that they used to a popular skit together on The Daily Show. She insists, Colbert is from The Colbert Report. She is right, so am I]; it happened, adorable 🥹

- A streak of green fire shines in the sky and lights a crown; I thought this was about the idol from before, it wasn't 🍀☄️

- The lit crown will sparkle for a year and a half before twinkling brightly. It's glimmer to catch the eye of the whole world; NASA confirms we're gonna see a supernova out by Corona Borealis between now and Sept 2024

- trump wears a diaper and then trump fans wear em too

- The liberal candidate wins re-election, immediately regrets it [my host wanted details. I didn't know and guessed Biden, "he's old as balls and doesn't want the job, but he's also Obama-Adjacent & that's all the dems had for Clinton in 2016"]

- trump fans federally shit the bed [The host asks why the diapers didn't help. I don't know, "must've been before that" I guess]

- "idiot-kings will rise and a Plauge will grip the world for a week, a fortnight, a year, and then half a decade. Maybe more. Its life grows with humanity's arrogance, colosseum entertainment for kings running out of a crowd to impress" [I left my host a Doctor Who themed shirt, captioned "Stay in the Light" and featured an astronaut skeleton]

- Still no TES 6, Princess Zelda gets her own Zelda game, 50 flavors of overwatch

- return of "Silver Dollars" [I'm hoping for new coins]

- cruelty will become cringe, and "cruel humor" will be seen in the same light as "homophobic humor"

- 5 penny stocks go incredibly high, as a joke, and break the illusion of control the financial oligarchs have curated. It only stops being funny a while after the 5th time [My host empathizes with the oligarchs and their need to control others]

- Revolutions in equatorial countries results in more stable democracy than decades of "Stable Democracy" meddling in local politics

- Jimmy Kimmel is replaced with a holographic emoji operated by an algorithm. It improves the show

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thebreakfastgenie · 1 year ago

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Like as an example of what I mean you and I exchanged several anons a couple months ago about people who self identify with slurs and you were adamant that I was wrong in my list of reasons people might do it; now I see you have a slur in your bio, but I seem to recall that in our discussion about it you said that the d word was Ok but the f word wasn’t, because you have had the f word wielded against you before as an insult but the d slur has been more reclaimed. Speaking as someone who has been victimised with both the f slur and d slur I’m a bit hurt tbh that you chose to double down on that but I mean, my hurt feelings aren’t your problem; it’s your blog and I wouldn’t expect you to. It’s just odd to me that you expected me to stop so you wouldnt have to see it, but then doubled down yourself.

The slur in my bio is a reference to a Steve Bannon quote about liberal women being "a bunch of dykes from the Seven Sisters" and I made a sign that said "I'm one of those dykes from the Seven Sisters Steve Bannon warned you about" for my first ever Pride in 2017 when I was a student at one of the Seven Sisters, so it's kind of a nostalgic thing I put in there for pride month. I can take it out if it's bothering people, I honestly forgot no one else would have that context and that's on me.

I remember that conversation, but I don't think that's exactly what I said. I have mixed and evolving feelings about the d slur, but the f slur is on another level in my opinion. It was the go-to slur for homophobes in the early 2000s. The Westboro Baptist Church was getting all that attention with their "GOD HATES F**S" signs. I don't think it's a matter of what's been "more reclaimed" though and I honestly dislike that framing! I don't think it's useful! Like, who's the judge of what's "more" reclaimed? What does that mean? Clearly at some point you cross a threshold, like how "queer" is used often in academic and other contexts now in a non-derogatory way. Or how "gay" was often used as a pejorative ("girl wearing a skirt for a top" ads you will always be famous) but was also used as a neutral or positive descriptor. I can't really think of an f slur equivalent to Dyke March or Dykes On Bikes.

It's not clear to me what you're hurt that I doubled down on, or what you think I'm doubling down on now. I don't think I ever expected anyone to stop using slurs, I think I said I didn't like it and wished they wouldn't but ultimately I couldn't control them and would just unfollow and choose not to interact (and I have done this with some accounts).

I know I mentioned this back then, but I literally live with someone who does reclaim the f slur and it doesn't bother me because I know him and the context. Honestly, though, it's not that I think your reasons are wrong, whatever they were, it's ultimately that I don't think why someone is using slurs is more important than how they affect others.

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heroisagirlsname · 7 months ago

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Okay, I'm coming off anon to respond to this. This topic is so close to my heart that I find it hard to be articulate about it. So thank you so much for letting my yell incoherently into your asks and then saying something so smart and insightful in response.

Ideally, you'd have feminist characters more representative of the feminist or proto-feminist views of their era where the work is going for historical accuracy to honour the different points of where we were in history and also acknowledge the flaws of the movement at different points in time (1994's Little Women versus the hilariously bad 2019 version comes to mind), and certainly there's an element of repetitiveness in this character type, but this is seldom if ever the criticism I see.

I absolutely agree. There's this Catch-22 I've observed where female characters who express any feminist point of view at all are simultaneously expected to be palatable to modern fourth wave feminism but also in keeping with their time. It's completely unwinnable and 90% of the time I think that's by design. Because I very rarely see discussions about how to do those kinds of characters right, or to add nuance and realism: overwhelmingly the intended takeaway is that they're bad and we should stop writing them. Which I do not and will never accept.

You really hit the nail on the head with "raining on the parade of arranged marriage fantasies." Because part of the fantasy necessitates focusing on the beautiful costumes, the luxury, the aesthetic and not thinking too hard about the fact that married women could not own property, could not refuse their husbands' advances and had no custody rights to their children in the event of a separation. And I think part of the visceral hatred that Eloise evokes is that she's spoiling things by pointing out the way patriarchy is baked into the setting, to the point where economic and/or social need for women to marry and the Ton's obsession with female "purity" is what provides much of the conflict and stakes in the plot.

I've been saying similar things for a while too. The original point of NLOG as a term was that it was ridiculous to say "I'm not like the other girls" because the other girls weren't all the same. And somehow we've got to a point where the original meaning has almost inverted, to the point where anyone who falls outside a very narrow gender conforming brand of femininity is automatically assumed to be an NLOG. (Because if Performing Femininity Correctly is just a natural part of being a girl then anyone who deviates must be doing it on purpose to prove a point, right?) I think part of it is that the term spread through visual memes, so naturally focused on what people looked like than intangible things like what they thought or said. But also I think that society/culture has a way of chewing up ideas that challenge it and digesting them into a bastardised version that reinforces rather than challenges.

And thank you for mentioning neurodivergence as well. I'm late diagnosed ADHD and it makes me so furious the way terms like NLOG are used to bully and harass neurodivergent women. I'm sure a lot of us would have loved to be Like The Other Girls growing up because then maybe the other girls (and guys) might not have bullied us so much. Being different isn't always even a choice or a bid for "attention": some of us are just stuck playing this endless game where everyone seems to understand the rules but us and as soon as you think you figure them out they change. I absolutely did not live through all of that to let people retroactively frame me as the aggressor in that situation for resenting the people who bullied me. Something a friend said ages ago which has always stuck with me, is that in a conflict between two women, the more feminine one will usually be perceived as the more innocent, regardless of who instigated it.

Hearing comments hating on angry, outspoken girl characters can be really draining for former angry, outspoken, unpopular little girls. And tbh I'm starting to think that that's by design as well. So thank you so much for speaking out and articulating everything so much better than I could.

Re anachronistic feminist characters, you are absolutely right and you should say it.

Maybe people who want to read "write women who sew" type stuff should just go do that instead of trying to make every single female character fit into their worldview. Because I don't want every character to be Eloise, I'm fine with variety, but a lot of people seem like they can't stand even one woman challenging gender norms.

No amount of faux progressive language will change the fact they sound like highschool bullies picking on girls who are too GNC or too "weird."

Thank you so much! Ideally, you'd have feminist characters more representative of the feminist or proto-feminist views of their era where the work is going for historical accuracy to honour the different points of where we were in history and also acknowledge the flaws of the movement at different points in time (1994's Little Women versus the hilariously bad 2019 version comes to mind), and certainly there's an element of repetitiveness in this character type, but this is seldom if ever the criticism I see. The truth of the matter is that in fact many early feminists did denigrate work designated as feminine, but we can acknowledge this as misdirected anger at having one option deemed valid.

Instead, we've somehow arrived at "wanting to be treated with human dignity is internalized misogyny because it really cramps my ability to romanticize the past". As you say, nothing wrong with valuing the labour more frequently done by women, but the fact of the matter is you can do that and show that there were always many people who resisted or did not fit into the tight boxes that society forced them into. Instead of, you know, ridiculing them for wanting to break the boxes while enjoying the fruits of having to fit into fewer boxes than our predecessors precisely because of women who loudmouthed and fought back and didn't fit into certain people's fantasy of being a submissive little princess. The kind of girls you made fun of and ostracized in high school, one might say.

To address a particular point you raise that I think is the most important in this entire ongoing discussion:

No amount of faux progressive language will change the fact they sound like highschool bullies picking on girls who are too GNC or too "weird."

I keep saying it, but a certain type of liberal feminist are now using "NLOG" the way it was socially acceptable 10-15 years ago to call someone a lesbian/homophobic or transphobic slurs because they didn't wear makeup or want a boyfriend. It is absolutely high school bullying mentality and has gone from an imperfect attempt at addressing internalized misogyny to active misogyny and latent/often overt homophobia and transphobia.

This is what the numbskulls making video essay after video essay about the apparent 'NLOG crisis' fail to grasp. The Heathers and the Plastics are not 'demonized for being feminine', they are accurate representations of how under patriarchy, social capital is gained through strict, obsessive adherence to white, Western beauty standards (which corporations can profit off of endlessly by manufacturing infinite insecurities, so bonus to the rich girls) and excelling at heterosexuality and pleasing others, and this system self-reinforces by the 'winners' bullying those who do not conform as easily. Jo March, queercoded dynamo that she was, took nothing away from the sisters who were happier with more traditional lifestyles because she wanted better for herself and the girls of the future, and represents so many women who fought for just that. You're not actually an intellectual for thinking Daphne Bridgerton has more value than Eloise because she was designated the season's Diamond, a literal in-universe (and true to life) Prize For Being Correctly Female, and unquestioningly accepts being paraded around like an ornament and smiling at being auctioned off to the highest bidder while Eloise fought back, criticized, and wanted an education more than any boy until they forced heterosexuality upon her. You are in fact a vanguard of the very patriarchal system the franchise even presents as backwards, because you don't want anyone raining on your arranged marriage fantasies.

There is nothing, and I mean nothing feminist, about snarking girls who do not like or for whatever reason, cannot or will not perform conventional femininity.

There is a certain sour-grapes defensiveness that comes from beig ostracized and punished for Failing At Your Gender if you weren't good at what was expected of you/resisted it. Femininity is derided, but it is also imposed (the two work in tandem to oppress women); and if you fail at its imposition, it's natural to try and gain protection by participating in the derision. Hell, I theorize that people who proclaimed themselves "not like other girls" in the contemporary age often did so out of resistance at the fact that we're supposed to perform (cisheteronormative) sexiness from the time we hit our teens, and of course the panopticon self-reinforcement that is how Other Girls treat you if you, an adolescent girl, shirk performance of femininity in any way. Certainly, I've also read much about GNC girls (of various identities) and neurodivergent girls equally having turned to this, which makes sense, as they're frequently targets for such bullying.

I do also think - and have personally experienced - it was an often imperfect articulation of queerness in many cases. The societal ideal of women under a patriarchy is cisheteronormativity; our value is derived from our appeal to men, and from the time we start maturing, sexual availability and appeal to men is the highest virtue. Therefore, women whose sexuality is not limited to men - or heaven forbid, doesn't include them at all - 'fail' gender, and accordingly often feel a sense of alienation and ostracism from other girls when they don't get as excited about dating boys. Also, in many cases (anecdotal I admit from people I know, but still significant), people who had a phase of asserting they "weren't like other girls" were in the process of discovering that they weren't girls at all!

And in some cases - again, I've mentioned that I was an Eloise for all the handwringing about how girls of that era wouldn't say that or do that and it would never occur to want more than what they had (...okay, so why are things different now?) - it's a frustration from the outspoken feminists and reformers at not being able to get other girls on board with us, because deviation from expectation will make you the weirdo who gets punished and rejected because ugh, annoying! As one historical costuming youtuber I won't name so charmingly puts it in her godawful video essay, "the women who made a big show of fighting back were freaks." (Way to convince us you care about feminism...)

All this to say the anti-NLOG brigade have utterly worn out my patience, and at best seem ignorant of the battles that have won us the freedoms we have today because it's not fun to consider how your escapist fantasy might be problematic (understandable, you don't always have to reflect on this to be aware), and at worst? They're getting the chance to be the mean girl in high school again/that they never got to be, they're just dressing it up in the bastardized language of feminism.

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patricianandclerk · 5 years ago

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liveblogging episode 1

hhhh i already love the scrapbook style and the NARRATION, I'm in LOVE

I'm loving how much stuff is just... the same as the book??? like!! guh. remiiiix.

"it starts, as it will end, with a garden"

OHHHHHH

i love that the hem of aziraphale's robe in the beginning is kind of unfinished and fraying it's... a great look.

tue TATTOO i die!!

i can't believe aziraphale is all but screaming "top me" within SECONDS

why is crowley such a fucking HOMO im CRYING

"i don't think you can do the wrong thing..." the "do me" is silent, i think

im dying at aziraphale SHIELDING him. with his wing like he doesn't NEED to!!! and crowley doesn't even ASK! he just sidles. under!!! god im d y i n g

God hastur and ligur... why are they EVEN MKRE MARRIED than aziraphale and crowley? big respect

GOD THE MUFFLED MUSIC FROM THR CAR!! i cry. what a FAG i LOVE him. he's so WEIRD... also why does he need to sashay his HIPS like that

also I'm sorry to sound like I'm prejudiced against posh english cunts, it's just that i am, and crowley sounds fuckin DRUNK the WHOLE TIME

"Glorious tool" jesus WEPT

also why is cumberbend even IN this, jesus, so unnecessary

ALSO OMG AZIRAPHALE BABEY LOVES SUSHI

G A B R EIL

im,,,,, he's so hot

"its sushi... its nice..."

gabriel didn't need to be this homo but im. so grateful

aziraphale is so AWKWARD with gabriel and i diiiie.

THE NUNS!!! AND THEIR SPY MUSIC!!! GOD!!!

THE NAMES. I LOVE

the score is so fucking good?? im love!

i love the CARD thing!!!! god crowley looks so FUCKED i LOVE him... god i REALLY love his... vibe. he's so different to book crowley but IM INTO IT

GOD the dowlings are SO unbearable its LEGIT

aaah i LOVE the lil black and white shot of what the winks mean!!!! this is so CREATIVEly shot and conceived and im. into!!! the whole thing

also mary is so dumb and I'm just like... big respect

Americans are so,,,, "warlocke??? YAAAS" its wild

aziraphale...... u fag.... im crying

"heaven will finally triumph over hell" just say you want to top, you dumb slut

ans crowley oh my god APPEALING to his HEDONISM im. DYING, he's so m e a n

crowley's hair is so pretty and i also just... cry over aziraphale LOVING food and crowley WATCHING him? the whole time?

"for special occasions..."

"brain city, whales" yeah bc u don't have a fucking brain you stupid thot oh my god

they're so DUMB

OH MY GOD THE SOBERINH UP PROCESS IS HIDEOUS IM SCREAMING

lads that's so GROSS why do you have to DO it like that

hastur omg you bastard im love!!

why is crowley so good at pushing all of aziraphale's buttons like he's the gayest fucking accordion ever im DYING... "we'll be godfathers, sort of" and the SOFT SMILE im. CRYING

"its not that bad when you gey used to it"

BROTHER FRANCIS IS FUCKING HIDEOUS CHRIST

utterly Horrible and I Hate It.

also I'm sorry but i absolutely hate the lullaby. not that it isn't well written! not that it isn't CUTE! just that my whole body is EMBARRASSED by how fuckinh extra it is

i do appreciate how they made warlock is a lil tiny tim parody and is equally annoying

I LOVE HELLS Design!!!!

also crowley's stupid man bun thing it's so cute... and also heaven? i also love that design and it's equally creepy and weird

i really love how thr angels have their lil bits of gold and silver!!!

aziraphale's glasses...

PLEASE DO NO T LICK THE WALLS FUCK

hilarious that they gave warlock a fuckin snape hairdo jesus wept

crowley: we could kill him, y/y?

IM SAYING YOU COUDL KILL HIM YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SO BLUNT

aziraphale is so soft and upset and im,,,,

god

it's interesting to have this as crowley TEMPTING him bc it's so traditional and it's really interesting that like... crowley is trying to tempt him but aziraphale just wants? jim?

also the magic is SO cute!

aziraphale is SO adorable and im,,,,

also i know WHY a twelve year old didn't call him a faggot but like, to be fair... he is one...

GOD THE CAKE IM WAILING also the slick way crowley just slithers out

idk I'm interested in the way they've put some of thr traits around... not jsut aziraphale reviving the dog, but that killing the boy is crowley's idea originally - it is a more traditional angel /demon split, which makes sense, given that its for tv and these chars are gonna be simpler?

idk i stand by the fact that I'm treating these as diff chars in a separate fandom

esp bc like... idk, brian and wensleydale are... idk, i never imagined brian as a little thin boy lol, so that's a bit of a? wensleydale also looks... cute, rather than being a little weirdo

ALSO...

interesting

"i know what you smell like!" fucking hell

but also like. idk it's interesting that crowley is more... explicitly lying to head office, and thst aziraphale is way more like

oh you must not lie, even to other demons? hm. yes!!!

#dictionary does good omens #go spoilers #i'm using liberal homophobic slurs and i'm not going to stop #so just be aware of that

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gay-possum-rights · 3 years ago

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Before terfs jump all over your post and mistake it as support, I want your anon to know that the reclamation of queer has always been controversial and there are countless essays and even political cartoons from the 80s about this! And a dear transfem friend of mine was assaulted pre-pandemic by men who called her a fag and a queer, before beating her to the ground of a parking lot and pouring beer all over her. People don't understand, for something to be reclaimed it must first have an ugly history as a slur, and queer is used in many parts of liberal countries against the LGBT, and it is painful to many to hear. It cannot be compared to that brief time in the 00s where "that's so gay" was a common slang because that's an example of homophobes using our words as a derogatory, but queer was never our word. It was a word used by those who want us beaten and bloody, or locked up in jail or an institution. And it's not terf rhetoric, stop giving them so much credit. Lots of people in the community also wrote essays against the term queer in the 90s for how queer theory opposed gay rights (calling them homonormative) and noticing how straight people who wanted to be different started using the word for themselves, which we've all seen happening. For anyone to argue with anyone else about their relationship to the most well known slur against the entire LGBT means they lack compassion and historical precedent. I'm sorry you have to go through this so often. For many kids, queer is a quirky term to describe a community they feel good about during their awkward teenage years, and they wear a rainbow like their mom wears a cross. For others, they're trying to feel good about something about their sexuality or gender other people have made them feel bad about. They don't care that other people reject the word for the same reason and they internalize our rejection of anti-gay hate as a rejection of them. So they associate not using a slur with exclusion (lol) and blame it on a group they perceive as exclusionist. When really, they're making others uncomfortable and refusing to apologize. We can come to an understanding, but not when there's always another name to call someone who...disagrees.

Every post i see where someone is told how queer means strange or to ruin (yes, that's its definition) they always go "yes good that's what I'm going for". My love and lust for women isn't strange or ruining anything. I've had the word screamed at me from cara driving past. It's scary. A friend of mine had his shoulder dislocated while straight men called him queer.

Its plain painful and evil to try and force the word on people. Anyone who chooses to use it for themselves that's their own problem but they can stay the fuck away from me

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vampish-glamour · 3 years ago

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I recently found a post from around that time tumblr called it's platform the "q*eerest place on the internet", and there was a reply to said post that I literally cannot stop thinking about.

The reply was written by a user who's 31 years old.

The original post was a photo of the OP googling the word "queer" and google tossing lgbt pride flags and other flags down the screen.

One user reblogged the post and said something along the lines of:

"Every single word we use to describe ourselves has been used against us as a slur. I've had 'gay' used against me as a slur, not like I'm gonna throw a fit when google puts little gay flag confetti on our words." (So, basically, a person who doesn't know what slurs are and was called gay by someone misusing the word as an insult.)

And the reply to that reblog (the following is written by the 31yr old mentioned earlier) was:

"I feel like if someone DID intend it as a slur, this reaction to looking it up would make them FURIOUS and thus I support it with my whole queer heart"

This.

What the fuck.

They are 31 years old. How the shit do they not know this word's history??? I'm literally 19 years younger than this user and even I know it's history and how it is used???? Where do these people fucking live??????? I'm so incredibly sick of people like this. It makes me so sick. So fucking sick to read shit like this... I just can't believe folks like this user are out there in the world. They are literally speaking just like the lgbtphobes I would hear in the hallways when I was in high school. Reveling in lgbt people who are hurt and furious and in fucking pain from being labelled queer? THAT brings you joy, tumblr user? What the hell is wrong with you????

I am so peeved by this whole “gay is a slur!!! I was told ‘that’s so gay’!!!” Thing.

I won’t go into it again because I have the whole spiel on my pinned post, but there is such a huge difference between a homophobic insult and a homophobic slur… somebody calling somebody they know is lgbt queer to call them weird, is so much different than somebody saying “that’s so gay” because they think homosexuality itself is bad enough to be insulting.

And actually, I think if somebody did intend it as a slur, they’d be delighted to see that lgbt people are doing it for them. Like, it’s okay for bigots to call us weird now. Like they always wanted to. It’s just frustrating!

I genuinely think they live in places where lgbt people have won their rights, in addition to liberal cities where they’ve never had to be called queer.

Don’t get me wrong—I’m in Canada, I’m a city girl. I have all my rights and I live in a pretty liberal area. I’ve never actually been called queer as a slur, but I still know that others have. And I know what the word means, and why it’s used as a slur.

So it’s really the empathy that lacks with them, I think. They can’t possibly imagine what it would be like to be an lgbt person who’s been called queer negatively, and see the word being used everywhere nonstop.

#asks #anon

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