#i'm trying to hold myself back from spam posting so i don't run out of content

[absurdthirst]

(Hi, resending this again just to be sure, because my account got mistakenly terminated 3 times(!) now immediately after sending. Please ignore, if it ended up like spam, but I've read asks ar all deleted if you're terminated. Thank you!)

Hello! I hope you and yours are well. 😊 

I'm sorry if this ends up to be very long and a bit of an overshare and weird, (hopefully not creepy!). I've been lurking here and in wardenparker's account for about more than a year now, reading almost all of your fics, and just falling in love with your stories and the glimpses of your personalities that l've seen. You two seem to be intelligent, kind, caring people - very much like our Pedro. Your writing reminded me a lot of the quality fanfics l've read growing up in another fandom at FF.net, and you've inspired me to work on writing again and to actually post, and interact with the other lovely people on here, be perceived, haha. (Also, l've found we've got pretty similar "likes", so thank you, thank you, thank you. My person and I thank you, haha.)

I've been very, very isolated, to be honest. From a culmination of circumstances, mental illness and tons of trauma, lol. l've been working so hard on myself (have been trying to "fix" myself, by myself, since I was a teen, no thanks to family, haha) even more this past year, and I've even made this new account before 2024 ended, and was planning to finally post a fic before the month ends. I was also planning to reach out to you to thank you for helping me get through the past year(and a half?) and to reconnect with writing, with your stories (I think I tend to overplan 😅...and not do things until the very vague later).

Today, I got pushed to finally just do it and reach out. Because with the isolation, I just...basically don't really have anyone else to reach out to, and something devastating just happened. Something broke in the laptop l'm using. Could be because of age, quality, something I accidentally did, but none of those really matter, because at the end of the day, it would be my fault to my family. It's a gotcha of how shitty I am, and they would remind me of that, rather than help me. Disability and culture really held me (and is holding me) back, so I am still stuck here. That laptop is supposed to be my way out, I used to work remotely and am trying to get a new job, too, along with the writing. So yeah, currently feel..basically fucked. The laptop breaking broke me a little more, too, I think. Haha.

Again, I'm sorry if this is overshare, but l've read other people asking for personal advice on here and sharing, so I thought maybe it's okay? l just feel so alone now, and on edge. Like this is some kind of a turning point, not sure if for the better or worse. So here is the mess that I am, reaching out from the void haha.

Thank you and wardenparker for your words, for listening to people like me, and for doing all that you do for the fandom. I really, really appreciate you. I wish you a great 2025. 💜

Hello sweet nonny,

Thank you for your kind words and praise. It is very touching and I am so glad that you have found joy and relief in our works. I love knowing and hearing about how it helps distract from the real life problems that can sometimes seem insurmountable.

I am so sorry that you are going through a low point and feel like you cannot turn to anyone in your family and life. I know that can be such a tough thing, compounded by unsupportive family.

I hope that things start looking up. Have you had a diagnostic run on the computer to see if it can be fixed? If you ever want to just pop into my messages, I would love to chat with you!💙

[opticpatch]

A STUDY OF ... misplaced obedience. false prophets. sacrificial lamb. so called "true homo superior." a true killer. running from the past. a legacy of pain. a parallel earth. the half-broken doll.

NATSU TSUKISHIMA from MARVEL COMICS.

concealed on by nami.

this blog follows from @vitrumbra

hi! my name is nami, i use it/its pronouns, and i'm an animator(i have a degree lmfao).

I can be busy and have spans where i am not the most active and other times where i'm posting every few minutes...but no matter what i hope y'all enjoy your time here!

Don't be a dick. This is probably my number one thing, this is for tumblr, it's writing, it's for fun. So lets have fun.

OC. Crossovers. Duplicates. I LOVE ALL OF THESE!!!!!!!! I am a huge advocate for ocs, especially as an oc writing myself :] I love ocs, give me your ocs. Give me crossovers too!!!

Selective. Mutuals Only. For the sake of my comfort, this blog is selective and mutuals only, meaning if I don't follow you, please don't try to thread with me or reblog my posts. I'm okay with sending questions or anons, but actual threads is a nono. Please don't spam like my posts if we're not mutuals. One or two likes? Fine, but if you're spamming liking and we're not mutuals, I will likely block you.

Mun =/= Muse. i am not Galapagos. please do not equate her actions and morals to my own.

I will not hold back my muse. I don't like to restrict or hold back my muse. I let the muse go in the directions the muse wants. The second I feel forced or the muse feels forced to do something that's out of character or unrealistic for the character, it causes inspiration to dwindle. Obviously plotting is still a thing and I won't do anything like severely injure/kill your muse without asking, but!!

Triggers. This blog is 18+ only it will contain triggers. i try to tag as much as i can, but i am bound to miss things. This blog contains some dark topics, I don't recommend following if you are uncomfortable with any of the following topics: child/human experimentation, torture, child abuse, neglectful parenting, murder/violence, eye horror, drugs, child soldiers, and similar topics. everything will be tagged.

Discord/IMs. Discord is open for mutuals!! I am practically always on discord, I do the occasional discord drop, but all you have to do is ask and I'll give it to you.

Other Blogs. I have so many other blogs it's bonkers. most importantly, this is a SIDEBLOG and i follow from @vitrumbra!!! i'm also there way more than any of my blogs.

Activity. I have recently graduated from art college in Animation! So I am extremely busy trying to find a job and the like. This blog is LOW ACTIVITY.

Length. I have a habit of writing a lot. Like a lot-- You don't need to match my length, I just ask you give me enough to work with...that being said if you reply to like 5 paragraphs with a single sentence, I probably won't continue the thread lol.

I think that's it? I'll add more if necessary :)

[entomjinx]

Hello!

Before you continue: Eat something, drink something, take your meds, and get some rest if you haven't. This blog will still exist tomorrow. <3

I don't think I ever had a proper pinned post for this blog, so I'm doing that now! (Last updated: 9/23/2023)

My name is Jinx, and I use all pronouns. You may perceive me however you see fit to, and it is impossible for you to be incorrect.

This blog is for my orginal content. I do not reblog things here unless I am adding to it, or doing an ask game of some sort. The blog where I reblog literally everything and anything I see is @jinx13gxa2 . Follow that one at your own risk, because there is so much spam.

My ask box is always open, and anons stay on. I'm to anxious to leave asks on people's pages 99% of the time so I want to keep that curtesy extended for others like me. I'm a loser with too much going on in my head and I'd love to talk with you! Honestly, I'm probably as anxious about answering you as you are about sending something!

This links you too all of my socials.

I mostly write fics on Ao3, but I occasionally post doodles and such here too. I love to do headcanon lists, but I haven't made any in a long time.

Fandoms I currently create content for:

Fairy Tail (Link to the post about the LGBTQIA+ friendly server that I help run (still semi-active: 2/28/23)) (I don't currently plan on coming back.)

One Piece (Main Fandom as of 2023)

Fandoms I previously created content for, but likely will never return to:

Edens Zero (No new posts.)

I would like to keep this blog as discourse free as possible, as every time I've been thrown into it, I've been harassed, told to kill myself, and in two cases, doxxed. Some of that harassment still continues to this day, and I regularly have to delete anon asks with disturbing content. I will block drama causers without response, as I no longer feel the need to try and back sass you to "one up" you like I did as a teenager. I'm 22, I've grown passed that, and I'm tired. We can coexist quietly and amicably or we can block one another and move on.

Below this is the context of the previous discourse I was involved in, because I'd rather be transparent for anyone just showing up. Warning: It's not as short as I'd like. (TWs: mentions of stalking, harassment, death threats, and suicide baiting)

I will not be deleting any old discourse. It is something I was involved in regardless of how much I wish I wasn't, so I refuse to just erase it despite my personal growth. Everyone may do stupid shit as a teen, however, that will not stop me from holding myself to a higher standard explicitly because it's me. 2019-2020 ish is where the last of the public responses end, I believe.

When I first joined the Fairy Tail fandom, I had a real life stalker, who used the ship Gray/Juvia (and many others) as an example of why I would have to fall in love with him eventually. I was fourteen. This fucked me up beyond belief.

Because of that whole fiasko, I politely asked shippers of the ship and people who really loved Juvia's character to DNI. I wanted nothing to do with it because it brought up all of that trauma and fear. I immediatly began recieving harassment and I was being told that the only reason I didn't like them was because I shipped queer ships in the fandom and thought Juvia was "in the way." The latter didn't bother me much, but the mass amounts of messages telling me to kill myself was incredibly straining.

I fully acknowledge that none of the following was the correct way to go about things, even if it was much better than the alternatives(ex: harassing back).

So I started putting out little anlyses showing the toxicity of the relationship and Juvia's various mental health issues that are never dealt with in the series, and I've even written fics about it. The harassment only grew worse.

I couldn't---and still really don't---understand why people would seek out people who don't like what they do just to harass them, and vice versa. That's why I and a few others who didn't enjoy the ship created a vent blog to keep all of the dislike for the ship contained, and even encouraged shippers to block us, which unfortunately, did not work. We wanted it to stay away from anyone who didn't want to see it, but to be there for those who needed that space to vent about it without it being traced back to their blogs where they could be harassed and sent death threats for disliking something. (This blog is no longer used by anyone. it's been fully shut down, as it should have never existed at all.)

It backfired greatly, and even now I get 15-20 anon asks a week telling me how I should end my life. Sometimes they spike up randomly into 100 a week for shits and giggles.

Because of the way that the harassers treated my friends and I, I believed fiction affected reality on a 1:1 ratio for a long time, which it doesn't. I thought the whole "Anti vs proshipping" discourse was a firm stance on your morals because no one corrected me, yet I was being harrassed by both, which is what forced me to come to terms with the fact that I was being played like a fiddle for a fool.

The entire thing was incredibly immature and ridiculous. Fiction does not affect reality on a 1:1 scale, and it's better for dark topics to be explored in fiction than in real life. That doesn't mean I should have been harassed for not wanting to interact with a certain aspect of it, but that also means I should have just blocked people who were harassing me instead of giving them the angry responses they wanted.

I will fully admit to many of my responses being made out of anger, fear and with more generalizations than they should have been because of the above. Those people were also harassing my friends and I, so I do not feel remorse for being unkind, only for being unfair with my comparisons of fiction to reality.

I have never told anyone to kill themselves, that they should be caught in an accident, or harassesed anyone. I hate the way it feels to be told those things, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemies nor the people who harassed me.

Should you scroll down into my blog, you may encounter some of this very angry discourse, and you will, due tumblr showing you the most recent posts first, encounter some of the final, angriest pieces of that discourse without the context for any of it. So here's your context, make of it what you will, and I can only hope that you don't judge me solely on 14-18 year old me's poor descisions and reactions.

[skyplayssplatoon3]

Oh boy Splat3 being fun I hope this doesn't come off like a rant I'm just being thorough bc that community question post I'm so sorry if this is A Lot

Splatoon 3 veers between 'insanely, super fun' and 'not even remotely' on a near daily basis.

For what feels like the first time in the series' history the matchmaking and connection issues have synchronized to both be so bad that it feels like you barely get to play, and if you do play then you'll rarely get a fair fight and either play against a comp thats not fair for one side (IE triple e-liter and an inkbrush in splatzones) or against opponents with skill level that's unreasonably higher or lower than your team's.

Even with a wired connection I rarely last more than 3-4 matches at best before losing connection in the lobby and having to find new teams, and its not rare to have to go through the queue multiple times because of disconnects while waiting. This has never happened in 1 or 2 to me, back then I'd get maybe one or two a month. Now I get dozens in a week, and nearly everyone I play with does too.

Winning isn't everything but I've had remarkably few matches that felt... like actual matches. Most of my wins have been crushing curbstomps of people that felt like they just got the game or never had a chance because it was a quartet of chargers or whatever.

The same happens for my losses w/ them usually feeling like I went against a team of pro tournament players or being put with 1-3 other splatlings or chargers whenever I play a non-shooter, to the point I've nearly given up on playing my mains that I enjoy and just picked up TTek because I would constantly be curbstomped bc of tri-splatling + 1 squiffer comps and stuff like that outside of X Battle if I don't play a jack of all trades shooter (which, annoyingly, has a system to avoid exactly this problem that works perfectly but was never added to the normal modes)

Between all that and a multitude of minor things (Hero mode being a drop in quality from Splat2's, Splatfests being a noticeable downgrade from Splat2's, Big Run... feeling awkward the way it was handled, a number of balancing issues from launch like crab dominance and tentamissile spam, etc) the game feels more frustrating than ever before in the series when it goes badly despite it feeling better than ever when it goes well thanks to nearly every other facet of actually playing the game being massively improved

I have tons of fun when it feels like it works, but I've honestly just drifted to playing Salmon Run near exclusively because Salmon Run is consistently enjoyable w/o most of the above issues and usually the worst that happens is Nintendo going on a streak of really not fun comps to use (or it being Spawning Grounds, which isn't balanced for Splat3's new aggressive salmonids at all)

Totally fine to be thorough! I've been reading everyone's responses and really learning a lot about what people want out of this game

I'm glad you mentioned the 'Not fun to win' aspect of matchmaking, because I don't see it mentioned a lot: It's not always losing that's the problem, because it's equally not as satisfying to end up stomping new players because you and your X friends run out to try new weapons and still have built-skills over the years...We want people around our level to practice against!

I'm genuinely surprised to hear someone say Hero Mode was a downgrade; there's been so much praises sung (and I genuinely had a good time myself). However, still a valid opinion!

It absolutely is fun when things go right! The connection works, the matchmaking actually balances (rarely but it does for me), and even some losses feel fine because it felt like a fair match that we just came up short

I still say hold out a while longer for all the new goodies we should get! Hopefully things will improve with time, but I can see everyone's frustration as things stand right now