#i'm trying to get back in the groove and be excited to write since that's been... challenging as of late

[a-casual-kpopfan]

It's a Date. - Karina

Shoutout to @capslocked for the little beta read. <3

I'm starting to get back into the writing groove, dropping small fics here and there. This was fairly short and sweet, I hope you all enjoy as usual. :)

~~~~~

You were one of the hosts to take Aespa around New York while they’re on tour; today was an off day and you were with the group and their managers going out to several shopping districts and trying desserts throughout the day. 

“Oppa, how come you’re not looking around for things?” Little Winter walking along next to you like a puppy, if a puppy can carry like 5 shopping bags with their paws.

“I live in the city Winter; this is my lifestyle.” You look around the shopping centre, it’s bustling and hustling as NYC would be normally. “Oh, come on oppa, there’s got to be something for you to do too, what about a girlfriend?” You had to think about it, it’s been a while since you were out with someone, let alone had a long-term relationship. “Ah, the last time I dated someone was back in college.” You gave a little smile to Winter as the two of you walked just behind the main group of members and managers.

Karina who’s walking along the main group takes a glance behind, seeing you and Winter laughing through your conversation. She excuses herself from the main group and slows down to the pace of you and Winter. “Ahh, what’s so funny?” Karina may be one of the most visually appealing idols and one of the most captivating people to ever walk this planet. But her looks don’t define who she is; Karina is actually a walking toddler.

Her cheeks are puffed up and lips in a pout. “Winter here is calling me a fossil, calling me old because I haven’t dated since college!” You were playing along with the act, acting a little whiny and childish which was alright, you’ve been with the girls a couple days already, they’re really playful and outgoing which is something you really appreciate seeing in Korean idols compared to a lot of Western stars you’ve hosted around every once in awhile.

Winter laughs uncontrollably on your left side, and is holding onto your arm, Karina is happy to see that there’s someone to trust outside of their group. “How old are you then oppa?” Karina tilts her head like a puppy, it really seems like Aespa as a group is a bunch of little puppies. “I’m 26 years old.” Winter pretends to be super shocked, exaggerating a dropped jaw. “Oh, my goodness, you’re a grandpa!”

“Yah, I’m only 3 years older than Karina.” Trying to defend yourself from Winter, but on the other side Karina is laughing at Winter’s reaction. “Oh, you’re not that old oppa, I just see the little white hairs appearing on your head.” Karina jokes around but catches you off guard making your jaw genuinely drop. “Ms. Karina!” Your jaw stays open but with a smile, you are putting your hand over your heart as if you got shot, but what really shot you is Karina’s smile and laughter.

Your walk through the mall was fun, it was all smooth going until…

“Oppa! Let’s go get you some clothes!” Giselle, the most fluent in English, pulls you into a local clothing shop. “Giselle!” The idol continued pulling your arm, you really didn’t have a choice. “Please, just call me Aeri.” With a reassuring smile that it’s okay to be on a first name basis at this point. “I feel like we’ll know each other a lot more after today.” Aeri with an excited smile, confuses you but you just go with the vibe.

“Oo, you'd be good with this… And this… We should try this too…” Aeri is picking out several pieces of clothing, going through different kinds of pants, looking at the blazers and some tops. “Giselle.” Aeri looks at you with a glare. “Aeri…” The glare changed to a smile, relieving you of possible stress. “Oppa, just try these on, okay?” Dumping a small pile of clothes into your arms, all you could do is sigh and accept it.

You went through multiple variations of outfits from all the clothes that Aeri has chosen for you. After spending about a half hour trying on clothes, there was a set that both you and Aeri found fond of. “Wah, oppa! You look so handsome!” You were wearing a short sleeve dark blue blazer, though worn open and on the inside, a nice grey, almost a salt & pepper style t-shirt, a black jean, complemented with a very dark brown leather shoe. “Wow, I have to hand it to you; you have great style Aeri.”

“Perks of being an idol~” You look through the mirror and watch Aeri pose with a V sign, making you laugh.

“That decides it, let’s go buy them!” You shook your head and looked at Aeri through the mirror. “I may be making decent money but buying all this is too expensive for me.” Your little shopping companion comes up to the mirror and looks you in the eye. “Oppa, who said you were going to pay?” And out of her pocket is her credit card from the company. “Yah, wouldn’t they be mad if you bought something not for you with this card?”

“This is the least that I can do being such a great host for us the last couple days.” You turn around to see a sincere smile and it doesn’t seem like she would take ‘No’ as an answer. “Okay, you win this round.” Aeri clapping her hands and you shrug in defeat as you make yourself to a change room with your original clothing.

Aeri kept to her word, now you’re walking along with Ningning and holding quite a lot of clothing. “Are you having fun with us, oppa?” It’s almost like each member is having their turn with you throughout the day. “Sure, I am Ningning, I get to spend time with very famous idols.” Ningning wasn’t satisfied with that answer. “What do you really like to do for fun?” You were confused as to why the idols are being really personal with you lately.

“Hmm, I’m originally from South Korea, but after moving here I really grew into North American culture. Watching basketball games, going out for bar food like wings and burgers with friends late at night. I do enjoy playing billiards, I’m always open to trying new activities.” Ningning now seems to be happy with that answer. “It seems that you’re very active.” You and Ningning kept the conversation going with each other, more and more you’re finding out the girls like to drink and eat a lot in the dorm, yet they seem so fit for the amount of food they consume and more Ningning is finding out your habits here in New York.

Once finding a restaurant to have a late lunch, you and the group were seated but you offered to sit separately as you would like to give the girls and managers their privacy.

“Nonsense! You’re sitting with us!” Karina was not happy with your suggestion. “You’re a part of us and you’re sitting with us.” The leader was standing firm, and wouldn't budge for anything. “Because you’re trying to bail on us, I’m making you sit next to me to keep an eye on you.” Karina poking your chest with her finger, you were given no choice. You couldn’t help but smile about it and shrugged. “Good, let’s go.” Karina grabbed your hand and dragged you in.

You were led to a large table fitting for 8 near the back of the restaurant, not completely private but obscure enough to eat comfortably. Karina sat on a bench with Winter and a manager beside her, one seat was left, and you were going to offer it to Ningning or Giselle, but you watch them already sit on the other side of the table with their other managers. “Nope, with me oppa.” Karina was sitting down, looking up to you with a smile.

“I really can’t get away from you, can I?” You finally gave up and sat down to the group’s leader. “Looks like someone has a liking for him.” Winter nudges Karina, shortly getting a slap to the leg to deny the teasing. “Yah…” You couldn’t hear the little whispers, you tried to ignore everything so the members can have a sense of comfortability and privacy, but then Karina can easily notice that you’re feeling uncomfortable.

“Hey… It’s okay.” Karina lays her palm on top of your hand and pats it. “Just be yourself, that’s all I ask for.” Her head is on a tilt, her smile, sincere. You nod your head and try your best to follow Karina’s asking. She’s always tried to make sure that her members were comfortable, that her manager was okay, but you being an outsider only have been with them for a short amount of time, Karina had always made sure that everyone was alright, she’s a great leader.

Lunch went smoothly, you and the managers had some good laughs, the members were having a good time, but alas all things must come to an end. The shopping is done, lunch is over, now you’re walking the girls and managers back to the hotel.

You bid your farewells, but Karina comes running back to you before you have the chance to leave the premises. “Oppa, I have a favour to ask you.” Karina's demeanour is off, hands behind her back, one foot balance on her toes, her eyes facing the ground, avoiding your gaze. “What is it, Karina?” You were curious, it’s not everyday you have a beautiful woman in front of you acting like a fool.

“I... Uh… Have this friend who’s coming to the city later tonight… I was hoping you could tour her around, like you did with us?”

“Oh… What could I have hoped for?”

“Sure, what time should I meet her?” You accepted without an issue, you wanted to be a good guy, you just spent a few days with the group and why should you decline? It’s not like you have a date to attend to.

“Yay! Thank you oppa, here’s her number, meet her here at 8pm!” Karina hands you a paper with an unusual phone number, not an area code you’re familiar with but you took in anyways. “Thank you oppa.” Karina bowed in respect before running back inside the hotel.

You would be a little disappointed, but this is a favour.

~~~~~

You make it back to the hotel at the time Karina told you to be there by, you texted the phone number that you arrived in the front. Good thing Aeri took you to go shopping for new clothes, you must dress up a little for the New York nightlife.

You: Hey, I’m in front of the lobby.

Unknown: I’ll be right there!

That reply came quickly, you were on a look out for someone outside the hotel, but the results would surprise you.

“Good evening oppa.”

You spin around to Karina, a different outfit from this afternoon. Instead of a white sweater and a long skirt, the Aespa leader is changed into a thin back long sleeve, mesh-like material being near fully see-through, a black bandeau underneath, complimenting her large bust and curves, paired with blue jeans and to finish with black boots.

“K-Karina?!”

Shocked to see the leader alone, no supervision, not even anyone watching from the entrance. “I hope you don’t mind me taking off my extensions, I felt like the short hair for our date.” Karina plays with her hair then smiles at you, she has somewhat of a gummy smile.

“Wait, I’m sorry, our date?” You were extremely caught off guard, Karina? Aespa’s leader? A kpop idol? A date? With you? “You could have better options than this old man.” The idol slowly walked towards you, grabbing your hand with both of hers, it’s now you really took the time to see, Karina has baby hands. “Why not? You treated us well, made sure we were comfortable, this is the least I could do… And I want to get to know you more.”

“But I live here, you need to go back to South Korea soon.” The idol was only giggling, she probably has already thought about it, otherwise you wouldn’t think she would go through the trouble of setting up a date with you. “We can cross that bridge when we get to it. There is a lot of tour guides in South Korea that would like a bilingual tour guide.”

With Karina’s amazing smile looking at you the way it is, how could you deny her?

“Okay Karina.”

“Please, my name is Yu Jimin.”

You smile and chuckle.

“Okay Jimin, what would you like to do tonight?”

She pulled away one hand, but still held yours with one. “Hmmm…” Her facial expression turned to a pout, playfully laying a finger on her chin, exaggerating the fact she’s thinking. “How about we go to a bar, get some wings and maybe watch a basketball game if there’s any?” Your jaw was left open, how could she have known?

“Ningning?”

“Mhmm.” With a cute nod.

How would you survive spending the night with Kar- Jimin?

The two of you walked off in a direction where you heard was a good restaurant that had some of the best wings and flavours, Jimin couldn’t let go of your hand, she was basically latched on your arm at this point.

“Oppa, are the New York Knicks any good?”

“Oh man… Don’t get me started…”

[crescencestudio]

๋࣭⭑ Devlog #41 | 5.28.24 ๋࣭⭑

It's hot girl (/gender neutral) summer season

HAPPY MAY!!

Hope you're all doing well <3 We're already getting into summer, which is a little crazy to me. The year is flying by! Before I get into what we actually did this month, it wouldn't be a May devlog without our annual Mermay celebration!

Look at those locks. His Ariel/Rapunzel era fr

Since I already had updated Mermay pieces for the Alaris LIs, I decided to do one for our beloved Van this year ^^ Hope you all like it!

For writing this month, I spent a lot of it catching up on Etza edits. Being totally transparent, I wasn't Completely Happy with their route when their draft was finished. But now that I've started the editing process with Wudgey, I'm really excited to see how their route is shaping up!!! We've been fleshing a lot of little interactions out with their route, and I can already see Etza's character really starting to shine with these edits ^^

I've also been chipping away at Kuna'a's route! While it's nowhere near finished, I'm hopeful that this upcoming month will be the month of Kuna'a now that I don't have a bunch of releases I'm trying to balance. His route is also one of the ones whose outline is more fleshed out (Druk and Etza I would say were the least fleshed out, which might be why they also took a bit longer). So I'd love to see Kuna'a's first draft complete/almost complete by the next devlog!

This month, I had to dust off my art skills tbh LMFAOIJSDF. It's been.... a WHILE since I've made CGs since I've been in the writing and coding dungeon for so long. So most of this month's art updates are me getting tilted from redrawing an ugly sketch over and over.

I DID manage to get the Van Mermay piece out. And I also was able to sketch out Kayn's Tragic End CG; that leaves only one CG that has to be sketched out! Currently, six of their CGs are finished, two need to be rendered, and one needs to be drawn still.

And since Kayn's CGs are mostly done, I've started drawing Fenir's. I was actually able to finish one because I basically Locked In when I made it, so here is a sneak peek!

Kisses his little pink nose

You might notice there's not toooo many updates on this month's devlog. The reason for that is because this month, I spent a lot of it recovering both mentally and physically. April shenanigans and those back-to-back releases took a lot out of me, and after going full speed basically since this year started, I learned I REALLY needed a break. That coupled with the concussion I got made it so that most of this month was focused on recovering and then getting back into the groove of things.

Another thing I tried to focus on this month was finding a balance in my workflow. Going into this month, I felt like I was on the verge of a mental breakdown almost every day, in large part because I have a lot of big things I'm trying to accomplish this year. Between finishing my dissertation, Alaris, and a personal big event that I have to plan, I have a lot on my plate this year, and it's made it easy to get overwhelmed as the months pass by. So I wanted to find a balance between all three that didn't make me feel like I was also falling into insanity. After talking to beloved Wudgey of @herotome fame, I've started adopting a schedule that gives me enough structure and flexibility to feel like I'm making progress without going crazy and getting lost in the sauce.

While it's still early in the process, I'm really happy with the balance I've hit, and I'm feeling much more like myself now compared to a month ago!

I caught up on quite a few things in my backlog this month, which made me happy ^^ I always like to learn from and support other devs, so finally being able to return to that helped with the recovery process <3

I don't have any actual fanart pieces, but there are a couple of games I'd like to highlight!

First of all, of course I must talk about our hot girl (/gender neutral) summer cross-promo. If you haven't checked out these games, I can't recommend them enough!!

Links to each game can be found on the Alaris Game page under the magic and mystery otome section!

Specifically, Save the Villainess, The Good People, and Thorn for the Villain are amazing games if you're into thriller/political games layered with mystery

The Silent Kingdom (which I played recently and is AMAZING) and Dual Chroma (Otojam 2023 ALLY) have added mechanics of RPG for exciting action-adventure fantasy stories

Lost in Limbo, Obscura, and Snow White Ashes are BEAUTIFUL dark fantasy games. I've played all three of these and they have some of the most beautiful writing and visuals... BIG FAN OF ALL OF THEM.

Mask Beyond Lies and Sigh of the Abyss have that epic fantasy adventure appeal to them, in a way that I think is similar to Alaris! And Pearlglow Cafe (another Otojam 2023 ALLY) is a very lighthearted and charming game for those of you who like the comfy vibe that most of my stories have!!

Some other games that I played are Favor (@favorvn) by beloved @concreteparasite which is SOOOOO stylish. If you've played Binary Star Hero by Connie, you can expect that same stylish, dark, sultry vibe from Favor. If you haven't checked out either of those games by Connie, I can't recommend them enough, especially if you like yanderes. There is so much aesthetic and atmosphere to them!

I also played Where Winter Crows Go by @prikarin who is a VERY talented developer (and one I'm sure many are familiar with). I had a lot of fun romancing Crowe and both the MC and him have such strong personalities, it was so fun seeing their dynamic!!!! The CGs were also made by anta, who is the dev behind Thorn for the Villain, and they're BEAUTIFULLLLL. Each one has so much style and rly has a professional look to them. Can't recommend enough if you haven't played already ((heads up that it is another yandere game for those who can't do yandere!))

Okay I've yapped enough. If you've made it this far, you are god's strongest soldier LFMASLDIFJ. See you all next month with hopefully some exciting progress!

[braxlrose]

I miss ur writings sm :(

I am so sorry that I've been gone for so long, I haven't posted any fan fiction in so many months and honestly I lost motivation 😭 so many ppl who were in this fandom and I created a community with, were slowly getting over this "phase" and it definitely affected me. But I'm going to try and get back into writing. I hope this will do good for now! Ive had a lot of ppl recently ask for 2005 bill hcs, and I've done that before so if this is repetitive for something else I've written, sorry!

content warnings: none

a/n: I'll be updating my tag list since it hasn't been updated since like August of last year and I don't want to be tagging people who don't care or want to see these posts anymore. So if you wanna be tagged, let me know!

2005!bill kaulitz x f!reader

sfw:

- I'm an alternative person so whenever I write for bill, I always imagine him with an alternative girl 😞 even though from what I've seen he's never really been w/ an alternative one, BUT LETS PRETEND OKAY 🙏🙏

• he absolutely loves doing hair together, I think he enjoys helping you do your hair in the morning and your make up. And he's even more greatful if you do his makeup. Then he can just relax while you help him.

• pookie has crunchy ass hair at the end of the day when he has to wash it out, don't make fun of him 😞

• getting piercings together is something he LOVES doing with you. Mainly early piercings because he only has a tongue and eyebrow piercing on his face.

• if you made music too, he would always go to your concerts and basically scream the entire time. Hopefully, you'd do the same for him.

• if you have longer nails, head scratches are always a must and he will lay in your lap for literal hours while you pamper him.

- I personally think he would love to learn words in your language if you keep something different than German. And despite what anybody thinks, he finds it hilarious to learn the dirty words.

• if you cook him something from your culture, he will literally die. He basically thinks everything about you is so cool, and learning about a culture different from his is so exciting

• but if you two really want to date, you'll have to both try to learn English or each other language because there is going to be a hard language barrier between you two.

- I think one of the reasons he would've fallen in love with you is because you were upfront with him. He's not the type of guy to just go up and kiss someone so if you confess first, that would make things so much easier.

- obviously, you'd have to get along with Tom, Georg and Gustav. So if you don't, there's no way he'll go out with you, especially if you can't get along or hate Tom.

-Dates together consist of stuff you guys bought somewhere, or if you guys went to a fastfood restaurant.

• He doesn't have a lot of money yet so dates wouldn't exactly be high class, hopefully you don't mind 😉

-Since this is around the time Tokio Hotel is getting increasingly famous, there are fangirls around trying to flirt and ask out bill all the time and he has to shoo them off. He reminds you every night about how much he loves you and that those fan girls shouldn't bother you.

-he likes to spoon you a lot, and you two switch back n forth between him being the big spoon and the small spoon.

• I think he also really likes it when you lay on top of him, with your face in his neck and your legs wrapped around him. (This also works sitting upwards).

• cuddling with him is so nice too because he actually smells really good 😱

- I think he still gets very insecure sometimes because of the haters and people who harass the band because they don't like them and you reassure him a lot.

a/n pt 2: sorry this wasn't too long! I'm trying to get back into the groove of writing so if this is terrible I'm sorry 😞

taglist: none right now

[d6volution]

Himbo kinger with a huge dick, fucks fem reader , and usage of pet names, and praise. Just pure filth.. in his pillow fort.

sorry this is so short, I'm still trying to get in the groove of writing kinger but i hope you enjoy anyways!

----------

"Ah.. you also have a pillow fort in your room.. I don't know why I'm surprised." You said, followed by a genuine chuckle. It was oddly charming. "Well your highness, may I go inside?"

Kinger twiddled with his fingers, his heart always raced when you used those cute honorifics with him, "Yes.. o-of course!" The words fumbled out of his mouth and he watched you get on your knees and crawl towards the entrance.

His eyes immediately lands on your ass as you wiggle and shimmy into his pillow fort, clearly with great precaution and care to not have it topple over. He wasn't sure if it was your ass or the fact that you cared so much not to destroy his fort that could be the reason he was pitching a tent right now. "O.. Oh my.." He looked down, then back up at you. Surely you wouldn't mind right..?

You were trying to wiggle your way inside his pillow fort when you felt two gloved hands on your hips. The sudden contact caused you to stiffen, but only briefly. The dots quickly connected in your head. You smirked.. What a pervy king he was. His hands caressed and gently squeezed at your form in pure awe. Kinger felt his dick throbbing beneath his robes, he knew this alone was enough to get him off if he kept it up. He cleared his throat, he had to stop himself if he wanted to go all the way with you.  "Apologies, y/n." He made sure to speak loud enough so you could hear him.

You finally slipped completely inside, "Hmn.. don't worry about it, that's what we're here for.. right? Come inside. There's more where that came from.. sir." You added the honorific just to tease him, and it certainly worked.

Kinger unceremoniously shoved himself inside the beloved fort and you two were pressed up against one another, his dick rubbed against your thigh. "Ah.. is that your hand or are you just happy to see me?"

"Well I am certainly happy to see you, y/n. As for that w-well, yes you make him very happy too." He said with genuine sincerity, and it made you giggle at how straight forward he was. Your hand slid down to the bulge beneath his robes, you began to stroke it through the fabric. "Well, lets make him happier hmm?" You hummed, and you could feel him twitching in your grasp. You didn't realize until you were feeling him up just how big he was.. you wondered if he was even aware.

"What soft.. hands you have.." He said breathlessly and thrusted into your palm. He was shaking a little from how excited he was , it's been.. he can't even remember how long since he was touched like this by someone other than himself.

You pushed aside his robes and his shaft flung out happily, it was thick and girthy. Making your legs press together at the thought of it nudging its way into your tight entrance. You needed him. Now. You wiggled out of your bottoms, and if it wasn't for the poorly lit pillow fort kinger would have been staring hard, but he seemed to be in his own world while you prepared and positioned yourself accordingly. "Kinger.. c'mere.."

"Oh! y/n... almost forgot you were there," He said with a chuckle, and followed your lead. Crawling in between your legs, his warm dick rubbed against your thigh. "Oh.." He thrusted against your thigh, his hands holding your waist. Making you feel quite small beneath him, "K.. Kinger.." You shuddered, his grip was tight on your waist. His eyes weren't focused on one particular part of your body as he got off on your thigh. You had to stop him before he blew his load without even being inside you.

"K.. Kinger wait.. ah.. lets.." You reached down and guided his shaft towards your entrance. You swallowed, the tip was thick and fat.. it made you hesitate a little.

He could feel the heat radiating from your entrance. It was driving him crazy, "G.. Good.. yes, good girl.." He thanks you and his hips jumped forward, the tip pressing against your entrance with a bit of force. "I was getting quite distracted there.. thank you, princess." He chuckles as he carelessly attempts to mount you.

The pet name he let slip from his mouth caused your stomach to go in knots. "M.. Mn.." His tip was finally breaching your hole, spreading you apart nicely along his dick. You gasped and gripped at his robes now , no longer needing to guide him. "You're so.. tight.." He mutters , but forces another inch inside. You don't think he's aware of how he's almost man handling you.

"Ghn.. n-no you're just bIG..!" Your voice hitched as he thrusted hard and he was buried about halfway inside of you now. "Fuck.." How was this only HALF of him? What kind of monster dick did he have? You questioned in your head, chest heaving. Your insides twitched around him eagerly. He was filling you so nicely..

"Ah, language young lady." He said, interrupting your thoughts. "N.. Now.." He seemed to adjust himself before continuing his assault on your entrance, bullying the rest of his dick inside of you as you squirmed and whined beneath him. He finally bottomed out and if he had a mouth he'd be smiling. "Are you okay..? You look.. crazy. Like me." He commented without thinking, staring at your dazed expression.

"Y.. Yeah.. just fine.." You said and moved your hips a little, his dick was so tightly snug inside of you it felt like you couldn't breathe. "M.. Move , please move Kinger.." You said and tugged him closer.

"Ah, right.. I shouldn't keep a princess waiting.. ha.." He said and started to move, dragging his dick out of you then slamming back in. He didn't mean to be so rough, truly.. but the way you were clamping down onto him made it impossible not to, "You feel.. feel.. so nice, y/n." He said and pumped into you at a uneven rhythm, but it didn't matter. He was so big that he was hitting every senstive corner that had you moaning and whimpering his name.

"K.. Kinger.. ha..!" You locked your legs around his slim form and he made a surprised noise, but this only encouraged him to thrust faster. With your bodies colliding and moving more than usual the pillow fort began to fall apart. But for once Kinger didn't care, he was chasing his high. "Close.. I'm.. y/n..." You were too, but hardly in a sound enough state to vocalize it. Your insides clamped down on him and you felt your body buzz as you reached your climax. He fumbled over his words as his hips stuttered and he was damn near bruising your skin by how tightly he held you while he came, your insides suddenly felt warm.

You both were still for a moment, coming down from your high and trying to catch your breath.

"Ah.. the pillow fort.." You said breathlessly, just now noticing how out in the open you two were.

"Oh, ..oh— I didn't even notice. Would you like to rebuild it with me..? After we.. clean up, o-of course." He said, a bit nervously.

"I would love to, Kinger."

[viking-raider]

Geeks in Love - Cotton Candy Fluff

Summary: You have a secret skill that Henry doesn't know about, but finally decided to present to him, in a thoughtful way.

Pairing: Henry Cavill/Reader

Word Count: 1k

Warning: G - Cotton Candy Goodness, Soft!Henry, Fluff, Geeks, Supportive Relationship, Shady Mother, Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Warhammer, Sneaking, Secretive Behavior, Hidden Skills, Cuddles, Kissing, Gifts, Surprises

Inspiration: This video on Instagram and Henry Cavills Warhammer 40k obsession.

Author’s Note: I hope you enjoy this! Line divider by @FIREFLY-GRAPHICS!

If you would like to get notifications for my writing! Just follow my Tag List blog, @VIKING-RAIDER-TAGLISTand turn on the notifications for it! It’s that easy! @VIKING-RAIDER-LIBRARY

Henry cocked a brow at his computer monitor as he watched your fourth sneak into his office/man cave, in the last hour. You tiptoed behind him, casting side eyes at him, as you went up to the display shelf the Warhammer 40k minis he had painted were sitting on. Standing there for a moment, trying to act casual, you'd pick one of them up and slowly turn your upper body away from him for a minute or two, before delicately putting the figure back in its place and scurrying out of the room.

Shaking his head, he turned his attention back to trying out Diablo IV. Until, about twenty minutes later, he caught your figure out of the corner of his eye and a smirk spread across his lips. He listened to the soft creaks of the floorboards beneath your creeping toes, while watching your reflection in his monitor.

You picked up yet another one of Henry's minis.

“What are you doing, babe?” He asked, as you put the piece back, startling the life out of you and making himself chuckle.

“Nothing.” You panted, pressing a hand to your thundering heart.

“You've come in here five times, in the last hour, and haven't said a peep to me.” Henry pointed out, smirking.

“I'm sorry.” You cooed, moving over to him. “How's your game going?” You asked, wrapping your arm around his shoulders and gazing at his screen.

“It's going great, thank you.” He answered, slipping an arm around your waist and pulling you into his lap. “But that doesn't answer my question, my love.” He purred, pressing a kiss to your neck. “Why are you peeking at my Warhammer Minis?”

A shy and guilty smirk crossed your lips and you quickly hid it in Henry's shoulder. “It's not finished yet.” You confessed against his skin.

“What isn't?” Henry frowned, shaking his head and leaning back in his gaming chair.

“Give me two more days.” You answered, raising your head to look him in the eyes.

A shallow crease formed between Henry's brows, but he nodded his head, trusting you. “All right.” He purred, but didn't let you go as you made to get up out of his lap, holding onto you for a short time longer.

Two days later, you guided Henry into the dining room, your heart pounding with excitement for what you had to show him, but your hands jittered with nerves that he wouldn't like it. On the dining table sat something covered by a throw blanket that was usually on the back of the couch. You motioned Henry to it, biting the corner of your lip, as he slowly pulled the blanket off.

“I know how it's been driving you crazy, since you finally finished painting your Custodes, that they've been falling over, with the slightest bump of the shelf.” You started to explain in a bubble of anxiety. “So, I decided to make them a little stand.” You pointed to the object he uncovered.

It was several tiered stands, stained nicely, that had lightly padded wells with a finger groove, for every one of Henry's painted minis to comfortably sit inside of. Henry looked it over, his mouth slightly ajar at the craftsmanship you had put into it, unaware you could make something like this, and felt a hard tug on his heart that you had done something so thoughtful for his geeky hobby.

“So, this is why you kept sneaking into my office the other day?” He asked, looking back at you, his handsome face soft with disbelief and love.

“Yeah.” You nodded at him, excited to see he clearly loved it. “I was measuring the stands, so I knew how big to make the sockets for them to sit inside of. Some of them are bigger than others, and I was taking extra measurements.” You explained to him, moving around to the side of the table, picking something off the chair. “I even made you a little box to put them in. So, if maybe, you ever wanted to take them somewhere with you, they had a protective case.”

“The stands fit in it”

He slotted the stands into the box that had the Custodes logo, his name, as well as one of his favorite quotes. “We die, though our war is eternal, We are doomed, but we walk in darkness, We are forgotten, yet the future is our gift to humanity.” He read aloud, then looked at you.

“Why didn't I know you were so good with woodworking and power tools?”

“When my mom found out you were interested in me, she told me to keep it to myself.” You confessed, looking down at your hands. “Because it's unladylike to know how to wield power tools and build something, like a guy. That you, a rich, successful and hot celebrity, would be turned off by it.” You told him, feeling your cheeks heat up and your eyes burn a little bit at recalling the conversation.

Henry felt a hot stab in his gut, angry at your mother for thinking such a thing of him. “What finally made you decide to show me this side of you?”

“Well,” You rasped, biting your lip for a moment. “I already have you, don't I?” You tried to make light, offering him a weak smile. “But, you did.” You told him, gulping. “You're so comfortable showing your skills, no matter what they are, geeky or otherwise. I finally felt comfortable enough to let go and show this part of myself, to show you the skill that I learned from my dad growing up.”

“This is how I wanted to do it, by making something for your precious minis.”

Henry pulled you against him. “I love it so much, babe.” He smiled, kissing you. “I am proud that you stopped listening to your mum and made it with your own two hands. You know, skills like that would have never turned me off. I find it incredible that you can do something like this.” He said motioning to the piece.

“I'll treasure it forever. Just like I will you.”

“That's a relief.” You giggled, pressing your cheek to his chest, feeling better that you didn't have to hide something you enjoyed from him anymore.

“I'm going to put my minis up!” He said, letting go of you and grabbing the box, before rushing into his office, making you giggle with joy.

[two-reflections]

Double cheeked up on a WIP Wednesday!?

Got some painting done during an Imperium Maledictum session ✨

Other WIP updates below, including a TTRPG game summary!

TTRPG ✨

In my new Imperium Maledictum game, the team were spontaneously recruited by the inquisition when a void ship that transported pilgrims between certain shrine worlds ran into a Space Hulk. We captured a witch, commandeered a shuttle, and managed to make it out of the Warp!

I'm playing ex-Genetor techpriest Rassik Kindara, who left their forgeworld under suspicious circumstances involving the fabrication of potentially heretekal augmetics and the repeated accessing of xenobiological records without permission. Other members of the party include an ex-guardsman reminiscent of a space Landsknechte, a death cult assassin who ran away to try to be a preacher, an immensely charismatic young bureaucrat, and a sanctioned diviner and her witchhunter handler. Our patron is Grace, a blank Interrogator. We had a lot of weird ghost moments in this session; very excited to see where this goes!

Writing ✨

...not feeling it at the moment. I have a lot going on IRL, and those things plus a mild crisis of confidence have sapped my keen for writing. Hopefully this is just temporary, and I'll be back on my usual bullshit soon.

To get me back in the groove, I'm considering joining the Salamanders Discord Server's Halloween competition. It feels a bit pointless, since very few people read what I write for those, but it is a good way to stay in practice...

I'm also still not sure if I'll join Secret Sanguinala this year or not, though I have sent in nominations. Idk, I'm not feeling confident in my ability to deliver something my giftee would enjoy. But that's just the crisis of confidence talking. I probably will end up joining.

[zenaidamacrouras1]

Ten questions for writers

The lovely @somanywords tagged me and I'm all in my bullshit as I finish a long fic so it's the perfect time for this.

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

23

Why is it shouting? I didn't mean to make that big but whatever. 23.

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

Word Count: 764,847

And what I would like to say, is that I started writing in the summer of 2022, so pretty much exactly two years ago, and deleted one longfic when I decided I hated it, so my point is, that is an average of more than 1,000 words a day published, and I have a shit ton of unpublished stuff.

Is my math possibly close on this? Holy shit, I talk a lot, and don't worry, I do have an actual diagnosis for my mental health problems, not that it helps all that much, but hahahahaha, doing great.

3. what fandoms do you write for?

Captain America, though a lot of Marvel sneaks in around the edges.

Wandavision, Hawkeye (more the show and comics than the Avenger's movies version of Clint) and Black Widow in particular. I am interested in writing diverse stories which has me pulling from the more recent content for women, queer folks, and people of color to include. I do see the irony of hyper-fixating on two white males for literally years and nearly a million words and then complaining about lack of diversity. Let's talk about it.

4. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

I do, meticulously and with great joy. BUT.

When I first started writing I had no idea what to do with comments. They made me happy and thrilled, but also very stressed about social etiquette. I would rarely reply. At one point I saw an anon asking on Tumblr if the author was mad at them for commenting because they commented on every chapter of a work in progress without hearing anything back. I honestly had never thought about it from that perspective, so I starting replying, and it got easier with practice. I have gotten into my own groove and I enjoy it now.

I think if it stresses authors out, no pressure. It actually does take up a chunk of time, especially on my more popular fics or if a chapter is particularly exciting/has a cliff hanger, etc. I really enjoy doing it, so I don't mind at all, and if it ever feels like a TASK I don't pressure myself to reply, because I find if I wait a few days it brings me joy again.

5. have you ever had a fic stolen?

No (?)

6. have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I have collaborated with artists through Bangs though which is super neat!

7. what’s your all-time favourite ship?

Look the obvious answer is Stucky.

I think one of my first pairings was Mara Jade and Luke Skywalker, but in that pairing I was a stand in for Luke Skywalker and Mara was too cool for both of us but also imprinted on my developing brain.

Mara Jade (for those who don't know) is a formerly brainwashed lady spy superhero in the 1990s era Star Wars books with sexy red hair. I suspect the author had read some Black Widow but have not confirmed this. I had not seen any Marvel comics at that time and was very on board with Mara Jade. (Not literally, sadly.)

As far as writing though, it's Stucky that I keep thinking up stories that I have a compulsive need to write down. I think of lots of stories for other pairings but they don't eat my brain like Stucky.

8. what are your writing strengths?

I am stubborn as fuck.

9. what are your writing weaknesses?

Excess (see above).

10. first fandom you wrote for?

On ao3 it was Winter Soldier+Widow (since orphaned, it was bad).

In my head as a teen it was definitely MeLuke Skywalker/Mara Jade. Very extensive mental storylines between us them.

----

No pressure tags for anyone who sees this and wants to play! And also @dharmasharks @voylitscope and @fsbc-librarian and @late-to-the-party-81 and @metalbvcky and @aimmyarrowshigh and everyone else I am trying to get over my social anxiety around tagging please don't stab me.

[penvisions]

final chapter celebration! {by the grit of sandpaper}

i kinda wanna give celebrating this fic a try since it's been such a journey! was thinking of taking a leaf out of the book of @macfrog, since they did the same for their lovely fic sweet child o' mine that i had an absolute blast following along from the first chapter

{by the grit of sandpaper} has brought me so many new followers and readers and i want to complete the fic with y'all in mind! i've got it mostly outlined but have to actually write the scenes out, so i'm tentatively saying it'll be ready for posting in the next two weeks. with that in mind y'all can be rest assured all your questions about olive and joel will be answered then! i have loved writing this little universe and sharing it with you, the comments and replies on each chapter have blown me away in the best way possible, the energy surrounding this fic has rivaled that of {garnish} and i am so grateful

send in an ask with an emoji between 04/26 and 05/10 and let's celebrate!

🤎 send in an ask about the fic! can be anything from more background on olive or how things between the scenes played out

🍄 send in a mushie for three out of context images for a sneakie peak from the final chapter and epilogue (maybe even one shot ideas and deleted scenes 👀)

🐎 send in a 'small talk' subject and i'll write a small snippet about olive and joel while out on patrol (kinda like the favorite chip flavor convo they had while clearing teton village)

🌲 just share your thoughts on the fic as we come to a close on it, maybe a favorite line or scene

🪚 send this in for a reference pic of what joel's beautiful hands have created!

feel free to send more than one or even multiple! this is for y'all to have fun and for me to get back into the groove of being excited about writing again once things calm down and i'm settled in my new residence, love y'all ♡♡

ao3 link || series masterlist || main masterlist || ko-fi

taglist: @joelsgreys @morning-star-joy @sawymredfox @pascalpvnk @littlemisspascal @merz-8 @orcasoul @sabmat @dreamingofleon

@keylimebeag @picassopedro @tuquoquebrute @alejaa-a @jessthebaker @joeloverture @joelscruff @swiftispunk @tightjeansjavi @undercoverpena @corazondebeskar @honeyedmiller @novas-dreamworld @slugz-writes-shit @hiroikegawa @dugiioh @persephone-girl @furiousmushroom @copperhalfcent @lizlil @hiddenbabynyc @part2joelmiller @formulafun @noisynightmarepoetry @sofiparallel @blueberrylemon7 @maryrhodalouandted @joelsdagger @fluff-lover

@communism-bitches @slugz-writes-shit @mosssbawls @vie-is-punk

@ohhellotherebumblebee @koshkaj-blog @r4vens-cl4ws @picketniffler @joeldjarin

[cynicallyanime]

The Distance Between Us

Author: @cynicallyanime

Warning: Lots of angst with a fluffy ending! (Also memory loss.)

Notes: Sorry if this seems a little short or cut off in a weird spot. I’ve been trying to get back in the groove of writing. But, I’ve been having lots of personal setbacks. I had originally planned for more of the story so I might make a part two later if I find the motivation. Please COMMENT/REBLOG if you enjoy!

Pairing: Momiji Sohma x yn

Words: 5,965

Momiji Sohma was always a peculiar one. Ask anyone who's ever met him. They'll tell you about how he liked to wear feminine clothes until high school and he finally hit a growth spurt. Or they'll tell you about his accent and frequent use of German words that hardly anyone understood. Maybe they'll even tell you about how he always had a smile on his face and goofed around like a little kid, never taking anything too seriously.

The first time I met Momiji was when we were both really small. Probably, like, age twelve or maybe even younger. But, he went to an all boys' school and I went to a regular one. So, that's not where we met. I actually met him when I was preparing for my first big duet competition.

I play the piano. I have ever since I can remember. And for the competition, I needed a violinist to play alongside me. Or at least, that's what my instructor told me. My family had me in solo lessons, so practice was always pretty lonely. I was excited to finally be able to make a friend I could share music with. However, it was up to my instructor to make the match for me. I just hoped she picked someone nice.

There I sat at the practice piano on the day we were supposed to meet. All my instructor told me was that he was a boy, he was my age, and that we were at the same skill level in each of our instruments. So, it was a good match for the competition coming up in a few months.

I expected someone very studious. Someone who would probably not want to have any fun. That's just the way my instructor was. All work and no play. So when the door to the studio opened and I turned my head to see, I was surprised to say the least.

In barged the exact opposite kind of person I had imagined. A little blond boy skipped in through the doorway before the adults could even open it all the way. He bounded straight over to me with his violin case clutched in his left hand and practically touched his nose to mine.

"Hallo!! It's so wunderbar to meet you!!" His light brown eyes shined happily, the same as his broad smile. But, I couldn't help but be a little lost by his accent and the way he was saying things. "I'm Momiji Sohma! Und I can't wait to play together!"

Despite his friendly personality, I was still too flustered to speak properly. "I-uh..."

"Momiji. You're here to practice together, not play. Understand?" The stern adult scolded him. I presumed it was his violin instructor that had come with him.

He instantly stood up straight. "Ah! But we are practicing to be able to play together! No?" The instructor rolled his eyes likes he was used to his antics.

"Excuse me," I whispered out, not quite as outgoing as he was yet. He turned his eyes to me in surprise. "Why...um...why do you sound like that?"

He tilted his head and put one finger to his lips as he thought. "Sound like what? Hmm...oh! You must mean my accent. I'm part German on my mutti's side!" He explained with no hint of offense at all. Then, he continued with a small wink, "Mutti means my mother, by the way."

"Oh!" I finally relaxed when I realized that he wasn't intimidating at all. He was actually quite kind. "It's so nice to meet you! I'm yn yln!" I reached out my right hand and he took it without hesitation to shake it.

And that was the beginning of it all.

For the next few months, we spent nearly every day after school together. Hours upon hours of playing the piano alongside him made me so happy. His violin playing was so amazing. His face would become so serious while he concentrated on his strings. Sometimes I just wanted to listen to him play by himself. But our instructors said if one of us was playing, then the other should be too.

We learned so much about each other so fast. For the first time in my life, I had felt like I truly had someone I could call my best friend. Except...he wouldn't hug me like I saw all the other best friends doing. In fact, the closer we got...the further he moved away from me. At first, we would high five, bump shoulders, and even touch foreheads. Just like the first day we met. Out of nowhere though, he suddenly seemed shy around me and we stopped doing all of that stuff.

That was what was peculiar. The outgoing and bubbly boy who had become my best friend changed completely when I tried to get closer to him again. That made me a little sad. And also curious if maybe I had done something to hurt him. But, I never pushed because I wanted to keep being best friends.

Finally, it was the day of the competition that we had been practicing so hard for. But, we also had so much fun together that it hardly felt like practicing and sometimes I forgot that there would be an end. It was my hope that we could continue to be friends even after the competition. Maybe we could compete in more if we won this one. I had made up my mind to try harder than I ever had before.

A few hours before the competition started, I walked into the massive building with my hand held by my mother's. I gripped the skirt of my fancy dress in my other hand while she checked me in, nerves starting to get to me. All the nerves went away, though, when I finally saw Momiji.

The door opened to the green room we were waiting in and he skipped in, like always. My heart started racing so fast it felt like butterflies were hatching in there. I had never seen him dress so formally, all buttoned up in his suit and tie. He was so cute.

"Yn!!" He exclaimed upon seeing me as he walked closer. Maybe it was just my false hope, but I thought his eyes sparkled when he looked at me. "I've never seen anything prettier than you are!"

His declaration caused me to blush hard. So much so that I had to turn away. Our instructors and my mother excused themselves to go get some drinks, since we would be performing last. I clutched my hands over my chest, wondering if I would be able to hear the keys over my heart out there.

"I mean it, you know," he said softly, leaning his face to be in front of where I was looking. "It's not just the dress. You're always shining, just like schatz...like treasure." Momiji placed his hand on my shoulder for the first time in weeks and all my worries melted away.

I couldn't hold back anymore. I had to know why he had been distant from me. "Momiji," I whispered, eyes fixed on the ground, "do you...hate me?"

"What?" He sounded genuinely surprised. Like he didn't even know that his actions were impacting me.

Finally, I fully met his eyes as one of the tears that had been building up inside for weeks slipped out. "I asked if you hated me!!" His eyes widened at my volume and I was shocked a little bit too. But, how could he say I was like treasure when... "I thought we were best friends! But, you don't ever want to be near me anymore! You...you say I'm like treasure but you won't even hold me like I am!"

My outburst left a deafening silence hanging in the air. Tears flowed freely from my eyes. And Momiji...looked like I had struck him right across his face. His hand fell from my shoulder and I wished I could take it back. I opened my mouth to apologize and beg him not to stop being friends with me. But, he spoke first.

"You are wrong." I wanted to cry more at his words. How could I be wrong when I could see it so plainly? "It's because you are my best friend that I can't do that."

I clenched my fists. Couldn't he at least be honest with me? "Why?? How does that make any sense?!" I clapped my hands over my face to hide how red and puffy it was getting. Embarrassed. I was so embarrassed by my own behavior.

"Yn, stop that." His tone was stern but kind and he reached out to pull my hands away by my wrists. "Don't hide your sadness. Especially, when I'm the cause."

"Momiji," I sobbed, "I don't understand what you're saying." Feelings were hard at that age. First, you were confused about what they were in the first place and then about why they wouldn't go away. Mostly, I was confused because he was contradicting himself.

He reached out with both hands to wipe the wetness from my cheeks. Then, he patted my head so gently. "I want to hug you. But, if I do...bad things will happen. I don't want to stop being friends-"

"Then, don't!" I had listened to enough. My body moved without me telling it to. I slammed into his chest and wrapped my arms around his middle so tightly. "Nothing would ever make me stop being your friend!"

Then, it happened.

In a puff of yellow smoke, Momiji disappeared. The sudden absence of his body sent me tumbling to the ground. I sat up on my knees as the smoke started to clear and looked around. All I could see was his clothes piled in a heap where we were standing.

"Momiji?" I couldn't believe my eyes. The clothes heap started rustling. "Uh!"

I was scared of what it was...until a little yellow bunny poked its head out. Somehow, I didn't even have to ask. I knew it was him. His long ears sagged and his nose twitched as he looked at the floor. "I tried to warn you."

"Ah!!" I yelled in surprise. I hadn't been expecting him to talk in that state. But, I settled down pretty quickly. "Sorry! You just caught me off guard. That's all."

He looked up at me, his ears raised the tiniest bit. "You're not...scared at all?"

"Of course not!" Tears started to form again, except this time, they were happy ones. I promptly scooped him up and cuddled him in my arms. He placed his tiny ones on my shoulder. His nose nuzzled into my neck while I gently rested my cheek on top of his head. "You're my best friend, Momiji. I want to be friends with you forever."

I could feel the cold droplets falling onto my skin.  So I held him closer with my hands. As I set him down and smiled at him, a noise on the other side of the door made us jump. Without thinking, I scrambled to shove his clothes out of view and hid him behind me as the door opened.

Our instructors and my mother had returned with the drinks, laughing and chatting about who knows what adult stuff. Momiji's instructor immediately whipped his head around. "Where is Momiji?" I gulped. I didn't know why, but I lied.

"The bathroom...? I think? Or maybe backstage?" I pressed one finger to my chin thoughtfully. "He did say something about watching the others from a good seat..."

With a groan, the instructors quickly left to search for him. My mother took a few steps in and looked over my face. "Sweetie, what's wrong?? Is it nerves?" I nodded.

"I think I left my lucky bracelet in the car," I lied again, "could you get it for me, please? I think it would really help."

She took one look at my pitiful face and her expression softened. "Of course, sweetie. I'll be back soon!"

I let out a sigh of relief just as I heard a poof sound behind me. "That was clo-" The words died on my tongue as Momiji reappeared...naked. "Ahh!"

"Thank you," he said calmly, and proceeded to put his suit back on while I turned the opposite way. "If they had found out, we wouldn't be able to see each other anymore."

We sat next to each other on the couch and he told me everything. The curse that ran back generations in the Sohma family. That hugging the opposite sex triggered the transformation and that it lasted for varying amounts of time. That no one was allowed to know or the head of their family, Akito, would be furious and erase their memories. It was a little hard to swallow. If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I would've thought he went crazy.

With his secret finally out in the open, he clasped my hand in his. I squeezed it tight, never intending to let him go. Of course, I had to when it was our turn to perform. I thought I couldn't get any happier up on that stage playing with Momiji. But, then we won and we were allowed to keep playing together for more competitions.

Day in and day out for six months we would meet up to rehearse. We would hold hands when the instructors weren't looking, and when they left us alone for short periods, I couldn't help but hug him. One day, I even got up the courage to give him a peck on his little pink nose. When he returned to normal he was as red as a sakura blossom.

Momiji had his birthday in that time, so he had turned thirteen before me. It was finally my birthday...and I knew what I was going to ask for. I waited on my piano bench in the rehearsal room like always. The keys played a soft melody under my fingers and I hummed until I heard the door open.

Momiji walked in and closed the door behind him. I was so excited to see him that I missed the signs. Skipping over to him, I grasped his hand to pull him over to the bench with me. I couldn't feel how he dragged his feet over my racing heart.

"I finally know what you can give me for my birthday!" He had asked weeks ago and I couldn't come up with anything. But, it had finally come to me. "Momiji, I li-"

He squeezed my hand as he interrupted me. "We can't, yn."

"You...you don't even know what I was gonna say," I protested, worry seeping into my skin.

When he finally met my eyes, I saw it. They were red and puffy and his nose was as pink as it was in his bunny form. "I do. Because I want to say it too..."

"What happened?" My voice came out barely above a whisper. I didn't want to know the answer because I knew it was bad. I felt it coming off him in waves.

He sighed. "We can't be friends anymore."

"But...why?" My heart shattered.

His other hand covered our clasped ones. "Akito found out that you know." My eyes widened. "He doesn't want anything or anyone to take us away from him. So, I can't see you anymore."

"No," I whimpered, "that's not fair!"

I watched as he scrunched his eyes closed, his eyelashes becoming wet. "He said...you have to have your memories of me erased."

"No!" I yelled, standing up abruptly. "He can't do that! I don't want to!"

Momiji opened his eyes and looked at me brokenly. "You'll be better off...not remembering. You'll be safer. He'll leave you alone that way," he tried to explain. I just kept shaking my head. I didn't want to hear it. Suddenly, he got up and grasped me by my shoulders. "It's not a request. Akito's word is final."

Tears started dripping rapidly from my lashes as the door opened. A studious looking man in a trench coat walked in. He looked guilty already. This must be the one that does it. I quickly looked at Momiji, curling up his shirt in my fists. "Please, don't let him do this, Momiji!"

"I'm so sorry, yn!" He sobbed and reached in his pocket before pulling something out. Angling himself so the strange man couldn't see, he grabbed my face in his hands and pulled me closer. Momiji pressed a soft kiss to my lips as he slid something under the layers of my short hair. "Happy Birthday, mein schatzi," he whispered in my ear as he pulled away.

When he did, I almost reached up to pull it out and look. But, he glanced over his shoulder and I realized it was supposed to be a secret. "That's not fair," I cried but smiled slightly, "kissing me like that when I won't be able to remember."

"I'll remember for the both of us," he stroked my bangs softly out of my face, "I promise."

He held my hands as he sat me back down on the bench. I took a deep breath, trying hard to stop crying so the last time I looked at him wouldn't be blurry. Finally, I nodded. "Close your eyes. It will be over quickly." The man said as he stood in front of me.

"Thank you, Momiji," I said as I closed my eyes, "for being my best friend." All I felt was falling asleep.

I opened my eyes and groaned. Lifting my head up, I saw that I was in my rehearsal room. "Did I fall asleep at the piano?" I looked around as I stood up and stretched. It seemed...emptier than before. "That's weird," I chuckled to myself and scratched the back of my head as I went to pick up my bag.

My fingers grazed something and I carefully pulled it out. "What's this?" I mumbled. Turning it over in my fingers, I saw a yellow, bunny-shaped hair clip. Something poked at the back of my head briefly. I shrugged. "Where'd you come from? I think I'll keep you. It is my birthday, after all!" I used it to clip my bangs back and decided to leave for the day.

~Ten Years Later: Momiji's POV~

I'm tired. These auditions are never-ending. My dreams are finally starting to become a reality. Ever since the curse broke, I've gotten closer with my family. So, I've started preparing for the concert that I want to put on just for them. My father, my sister, and my mutti. The one I promised to play for Tohru will come later.

The thing about the concert is that I thought it would be more fun for them if I wasn't playing alone. So, I'm searching for someone to accompany me. I've been holding these auditions for days and yet, no luck. It's not that they're untalented. But, they're all...missing something.

I've almost given up entirely. There are still a few musicians left on the list for today. But, I can't bear anymore. I stand up to gather my things from the table as someone walks onto the stage. "I'm sorry, but I've decided to cut things short for today. I'll be leaving now," I sigh, not looking up from my stack of papers.

"Oh," says the voice of a woman. "I understand! Does that mean I'll be first to audition tomorrow?"

That voice. Older and more mature, but still somehow the same. My body goes rigid and I'm afraid to look up. It's not her. It can't be. Tentatively, I peek up at the woman standing on stage, her hair pulled into two low pigtails. She smiles shyly and my heart constricts. Surely, it's not. I look back down, scrambling through the list of people auditioning today. It's got...to be here...somewhere...aha!

With a flourish, I hold the paper up. Her picture is attached to the corner and so I lift it up to uncover the name. I can't believe it...it's been how long? Ten years, almost? Quickly, I sit back down. "Play."

"You," she pauses uncertainly, "want me to play now? I thought you were leaving..."

I clasp my hands under my chin and lean forward intently. "I've changed my mind. You'll be the last today. So, please," I gesture one hand toward the piano, "play me something that you love."

Even from this distance, I can see her cheeks blush under the stage lights. She nods and makes her way to the piano. The light glints off of something in her long hair and my heart skips a beat. A bunny clip holds the bangs out of her eyes as she sits at the bench and takes a deep breath.

Just when I thought I couldn't be any more surprised, she starts playing. Fond memories wash over me as the notes fill the theater. This is the duet piece we played at our first competition together when we were children. Does she remember? How would that even be possible?

Perhaps, she chose this piece because it reminds her of the first competition she won. That's the thing about how Hatori erases our secret from their minds. He leaves just enough of the truth that they wouldn't notice anything is missing. There's no other explanation for why she chose it.

She's gotten taller...but not by much. Then again, I've grown as well. I'm sure I would tower over her if I could stand beside her. We're different people now. We've both gone through so many experiences that shaped us into who we are now...experiences that we didn't get to share with each other like we were meant to.

"Mr. Sohma?"

Her gentle voice pulls me from my thoughts and back to the present. I got so lost in them that I didn't notice the piece was over or her standing in the center of the stage again.

"Are you...alright?"

I tilt my head quizzically at her. Why would I not be? I'm confused until I blink again, and something warm slides down my cheek. Reaching up, I feel the wetness that has gathered there. I quickly wipe the tears away and stand up, plastering a smile on my lips.

"Yes, yes! I'm alright, danke!" My feet move me toward her of their own will as I continue speaking. "You just played so sweetly that it moved me to tears." Suddenly, I'm so close that I can see the surprise glinting in her eyes and I realize that I ran to her. "I don't remember that piece being so sad the last time I heard it," I admit.

She ducks her head for a moment before looking up at me from beneath her eyelashes. I knew it. I knew that I would finally be taller. "It's not supposed to be, actually," she begins shyly. Still so nervous despite all the talent in the world. "The original piece is a duet with the violin. It's missing its other half...so I can't play it without longing or sorrow."

"Where do you suppose its other half is, then?" I question, never letting my gaze leave hers.

I watch as a hopeful shine fills up her eyes. "It's right here." It feels as though my heart stops completely when she gestures to me. She remembers me! Overcome with emotions, I step forward. Ready to wrap her up in my arms and never let go again. That is, until she gently places her hand on my chest to distance herself from me. "Mr. Sohma...what are you doing?"

As quickly as my heart soared, it came crashing into the ground. Of course, she doesn't remember. She only meant I was the other half because it's the job she's auditioning for. I step back, bowing my head slightly.

"I'm so sorry, miss," I clear my throat for fear that she'll hear how disappointed I am. "I don't know what came over me. The job is yours...if you want it."

She clasps her hands in front of her lips. "Oh, really?!" Yn gasps. I miss her always having that excitement in her voice when she's near me. "But, I thought you have more auditions to go through..."

"I don't need to hear any more," I declare, "you are the one I want." She nods and I take that as her acceptance. "Wunderbar! I'll contact you in a few days with information regarding rehearsals. Danke and enjoy the rest of your day!"

I turn to go gather my things without a second thought. But, I'm stopped in my place when something pulls on my hand. I look down and see both of her slender hands grasping mine. When I glance at her face, I see that she's blushing and looking at our hands in shock.

"I just wanted to say..." I watch as she turns redder and redder before she finally meets my eyes. "Thank you for giving me this opportunity. I'll work really hard to make you glad you chose me!"

Some things never change. I smile softly at her while I take the hand she's not holding and pat the top of her head once. "I don't think you'll have to try too hard." The flustered look on her face makes me chuckle for the first time in days. "Bis bald, Miss yln."

Finally, I leave the dim theater to walk around in the late spring sun. Sakura petals float though the breeze as I sit on a bench and stare at my hands. I can still feel her small hands holding mine and the soft strands of her hair. So what if she doesn't remember me? We can make new memories now. Yn fell in love with me once, as children...we can fall in love again. There will be nothing to stop us this time.

Over the course of the next few months, we spend every other day together. It's almost like old times. The weather is getting hotter and she's started wearing her hair up. I have never seen her look so beautiful. I find myself getting so distracted looking at the loose hairs on the nape of her neck that I mess up frequently. But, each time she laughs and the embarrassment is worth it.

She's been so professional. Never wanting to take too long of a break to chat or stray off course for long. It's hard trying to get to know her again. She's very different from when we were kids. I can tell that she keeps a carefully placed wall up almost all the time. But...I don't know why. Could it be because of me? Does she remember the feeling of being hurt and abandoned, but just not the reason why?

On one particular day when the leaves are starting to fall, we get out of rehearsal so late that the sun has already set. I clasp the handle of my violin case as we exit the studio I rent side by side into the cool breeze. She bows toward me politely, like always.

"I'll see you next time, Mr. Sohma!" Yn turns to leave, but I want to stay close to her.

So, I call out. "It's been about four months since we've been working together!" She turns around in surprise. "Let's celebrate! It is dinner time and I kept us too late today." My heart thuds in my chest while she hesitates.

"Oh, no! I wouldn't want to trouble you," she begins to politely decline.

I tilt my head to the side. "You're never any trouble to me." Her eyes widen, the streetlights twinkling in them. "I insist. I'd like to get to know you better, anyway. You don't talk much about yourself..."

"I just don't think it's a good idea..." she says hesitantly. "We shouldn't mix our personal and professional lives." There's brief regret in her once twinkling eyes.

"Oh, I see." Disappointment sinks my heart into my stomach. "How long have you been together?"

Her eyebrows cinch together momentarily as her lips part. "What do you..." I smile softly, trying not to let it show in my face that I can't breathe. After looking over my face for a long moment, her face lights up. "Oh! I'm afraid you have it all wrong, Mr. Sohma!"

"I...do?" I try to keep my hope in check.

Then, she giggles gently, eyes closing in amusement. "Yes!" She opens her eyes once again and meets mine. "I'm not seeing anyone...romantically...that's not why at all," she explains, "I've actually never dated anyone."

"How is that possible??" I blurt out before covering my mouth with my hand. Her cheeks flush red with embarrassment. "No! That's not what I meant! I just figured that you're so wunderbar...there's no way someone hasn't-"

I cut off my stupid rambling before my foot slides further down my throat. She rubs the back of her neck sheepishly. "It's sort of silly...you might laugh."

"I won't," I say hastily, "I promise." Placing a hand over my heart, I lean a little closer to her. "Feel free to talk about anything you like with me."

Hesitation mixed with something else war on the expression of her face. With a sigh, she sinks onto a nearby bench and gestures for me to take the empty spot next to it. "I'm waiting for someone special," yn reveals.

"Isn't...everyone?" I genuinely question.

She shrugs, brows furrowing in what looks like an attempt to sort though her thoughts. "This is different. It's someone I've met before."

"!" Her words cause my heart to stop beating and my lungs to stop taking in air. I thought she had no memories left.

Her hand reaches up to tentatively touch the bunny clip in her hair that she's worn every single day I've seen her. I watch as her lips curl into the whisper of a smile, nostalgia painted in the way her eyes soften. Her eyes shift to mine and I jump slightly, not prepared for this look of complete and utter innocence.

"Have you ever...felt like-no," she corrects herself, head tilting up to look at the stars, "have you ever known that something important was missing? Like, you walk into a room and forget why you went in there in the first place but you know it was for something you needed?"

I nod silently as she looks at the clasped hands in her lap. "Of course..." You. You are what's always been missing for me...

"The past ten years have been that way for me," she admits with a sigh. Finally, she looks back at me again. "I found this clip in my hair on my thirteenth birthday." Pulling the clip from her hair, she holds it up for me to see. "Someone gave it to me. And I can't remember who..."

"Are you sure you it wasn't just a gift from a classmate?"

She shakes her head. "I didn't have friends as a kid." I want to take her hand in mine so badly. But, she always shies away from contact. "The piece I played for my audition...I won a competition with it as a child. Except...it was a duet competition. How can I not remember who I played with?"

"..." I can't find any words to say. Hatori messed up somehow. There's no other way she would be able to put it together. But...she's been thinking of me and looking for me all this time! How do I tell her it was me?

Waving her hand dismissively in the air, she lowers her head. "I told you it was silly-"

"Not at all!" She glances at me, grief swimming in her eyes. I'm the cause of that. She should never have that look on her face. I scoot closer and open my arms to give her a comforting hug.

She flinches back, panic filling her features. "What about the curse??" I immediately stop my movements as she looks around. "I'm sorry," yn covers her mouth in surprise, "I...don't know where that came from."

I can't stand it anymore.

Without thinking, I wrap her up in my arms. She goes still for a long moment, her heart thudding so fast against her chest I can feel it in mine. I carefully take the clip from her hand and place it back in her hair. "Yn," I whisper into her hair as I kiss it.

Seconds later, her arms slowly wrap around my middle. She clings tightly to the back of my jacket as she starts to shake. "Momiji!"

"What did you say?" I pull back slightly to search her face.

Her eyes are watering, a few tears dripping off her lashes. She sniffles, rapidly looking at every aspect of my face before smiling. "It's you."

"It's me." A small sob escapes her as she throws herself back into my arms. I squeeze her tightly, lips buried in her hair, never intending to let go of her again.

But, she untangles herself from me abruptly and scoots back. "Wait, what about-" she waits, probably realizing that minutes have gone by since our embrace and I'm still human. "How did...when did-"

"Oh, mein schatzi," I chuckle warmly, the hole that's been longing for her finally filled, "I have so much to tell you!"

Her whole face lights up. She finally remembers me. We're finally together. Nothing is standing in the way of us living the life we were always meant to live together. She reaches out and cups my face. Her thumbs brush my cheek and come away slick. I didn't realize I was crying, too.

"My birthday is coming up," she whispers hopefully, "and I know exactly what I want-"

I swallow her words with my lips on hers, my hand cupping the back of her neck gently. She presses against me, her arms holding me snug against her. Our lips push and pull, like the waves that crash on the beach shore. And I'm sure I'm not getting any oxygen because the only thing I want to breathe in is her existence. Her serendipitous reappearance in my life.

My lungs start to burn and I know that it will have to end soon. But, I don't want it to. I want to keep feeling her in my arms, smelling the perfume on her neck, and tasting the tea on her tongue. And she wants the same. I know it. But, eventually it becomes too much to bear, and I have to pull away.

We pant with foreheads pressed together, breath mingling in the air between us. "Sorry," I swallow thickly, "I couldn't wait until your birthday...I've already waited almost ten years for you."

"So, you..." She begins quietly, smile quirking one corner of her lips. "You've never..."

I brush a strand of hair behind her ear, closing my eyes as I kiss her forehead for a long moment. "I've never kissed anyone like that before. I've been saving it for you. Only for you."

[lodessa]

2. Do you plan each chapter ahead or write as you go?

17. What do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block)

18.Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

58.What part of the writing process do you enjoy the most? (Brainstorming, outlining, writing, editing, etc)

2. Do you plan each chapter ahead or write as you go?

It varies quite a bit. I generally have a rough shape of the story and certain key bits like a particular scenes I want to write or maybe where the ending is going to go. But I don't always outline outside my head and when I do, I usually end up not ultimately following the outline. Like I will think a certain plot point or scene is going to go a certain way and then when I get into writing it I have a better idea or realize that the original one doesn't work or I need to add something else. I would say the exception to this tends to be when I am writing a more ensemble type fic where the chapters are from a bunch of different perspectives (Voyager High would be a good example) and that external structure helps keep me on track.

17. What do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block)

The most effective thing is to share what I have so far with a friend I trust and have them convince me it is good or help me figure out why it is not working. Switching to a different idea or WIP is another strategy, and/or intentionally writing really short prompt ficlets. But truly I am terrible at this. When I get stuck I can be in that space for a LONG TIME.

18.Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

After. I always swear I am not going to do that and will plan ahead next time but I'm always back in the situation where I am ready to post to A)3 and I have no idea what to call the fic. I use the lazy, song lyric, method a lot of the time. Or I just try to pick a word or phrase that has the first vibe. Titles are the bane of my existence.

58.What part of the writing process do you enjoy the most? (Brainstorming, outlining, writing, editing, etc)

Brainstorming for sure. Coming up with the ideas and imagining the story in my head is exciting and fun and easy and then actually turning it into words in a document is hard work for the most part. Outlining is fun, but not as fun as brainstorming and also can feel like a waste, since I never actually follow my plan. There are times when I get into a good writing groove and it is going smoothly and that feels so nice, but a lot of the time it can be a slog and my brain starts going fuzzy sometimes. I really hate editing and never do as thorough of a job as I feel like I should.

[aritany]

hey hey! im literally on tenterhooks waiting for your announcement (: but in the meantime i thought id ask - you said that getting back into the groove you wrote a bad book SOTM? could you maybe talk about why you thought it was bad, what was bad about it, that sorta thing? interested to hear the perspective of someone who's written SO MANY words and recognising that maybe something isn't working?

only a few short days to wait!! 👀 i even made art to go along with it, i'm very excited!!

YES. okay. i've actually been considering talking about this for a while, because it's so interesting to me. SOTM (straight on til morning) was a queer peter pan (... retelling?) book that i wrote in november of 2022. it was the first thing i wrote start to finish since the first flare of my chronic illness back in 2021, and had since gone through a divorce, a disownment, and had really struggled with the editing process on my debut. regrettably, it was also the first thing i sourced new beta readers on, and was the first thing a bunch of people had ever read from me (it keeps me up at night, i swear).

and the thing is, sometimes books just don't work because they don't work. i have four unfinished novels i'm squinting at because i don't think they're going to work the way i want them to, and that's just because i feel stalled out and frustrated with them. and i don't think they're

in other cases, books don't work because there are road blocks in the way. such was the case for SOTM, which had a pretty cool premise, characters i still love, and probably could have been really interesting, but fell short in several aspects.

here's what i think contributed:

in dev edits for my debut, my prose was stripped down to bare bones. no descriptors, nothing extra. no detail. it was all dialogue, dialogue tags, and plot beats. extraordinarily depressing, but as a literal thinker, i took this and went "ah ok this is what is desirable? taking notes" and started writing new content in a similar fashion. the result was as unpleasant as you might think. feedback from betas was like: "hey what's going on here. i can't visualize anything. where are we" and they were RIGHT.

SOTM is technically supposed to be a horror novel, but i got squeamish at the last second and couldn't figure out how to make my ending actually scary. i feel like i do pacing quite well for suspense, but when suspense leads up to something that just sort of sucks, the end result... sucks.

it was the first thing i wrote after a long period of writing almost nothing at all. i dove right back in with no training wheels, and while i had fun, i was also mostly stressed and rushed, and you could tell.

i was desperate to write something my then-agent would read. i'd had no luck with the first 2 books i sent her, and was trying to cater to somebody who's tastes i no longer aligned with, which was an impossible task, and as a result, there's something forced about the whole book. it's like when you bake a cake with no love.

anyway. the voices Often tell you a project isn't working. sometimes they are evil gremlins trying to sabotage you, and sometimes they're right.

DO listen to the voice when: you're finished the book, your beta readers are giving you feedback that makes you go "honestly yeah", and whenever you think about the project you feel vaguely ill

DON'T listen to the voice when: you're between 30-60% finished (that's when the kill switch activates and it's never right), one person is saying they personally didn't like something (opinions! subjective!), or when it's past 10 pm (thoughts are not peer reviewed)

[prolix-yuy]

Hello to all of the beautiful people in my computer!

That's you!

It's been a hot minute since I've given a update, and a hot minute since I've posted any writing! Let's get into it!

Lately I've been in a...not quite writer's block, but definitely a little bit of a stall-out. Part of it is the "analysis paralysis" of all my WIPs looking at me begging to go next. Part of it is just seasonal exhaustion I'm finally getting used to. And a little part that I try not to let bother me is the pesky "who cares?" voice that sometimes beats down my creativity. BUT! I recently got a little splash of inspiration and things should be getting moving soon!

The big update is that I'm holding off on updating any of my series for the moment. Part of what made fic writing fun when I first started was posting regularly, which I was able to do because I wrote a bunch of stories upfront before I started sharing. I'd like to get back to that, but of course that means I'll have to take a pause on sharing them for a little bit. I'd like to get to a point where I have a handful of updates queued so I can share while I'm still writing new things in the background. I'm not positive when exactly that will be, but probably not until the new year. I'll keep you posted!

That doesn't mean NOTHING will be coming out over the holidays though! I'm participating in a couple fic challenges in December and January, and I want to jump in and do a few drabbles over the holidays to keep on my toes. I'm trying to use WIP Wednesday as motivation to get into the groove with these, so keep an eye out for those tasty tidbits!

You all have been super supportive of my writing and the time it takes, but of course it makes me a little sad knowing I'm pushing off updates again. But there's some super tasty stuff in the works, and my excitement to show you is keeping me motivated.

Happy holidays to you in whatever way you celebrate, and I hope we'll have many more stories to share very soon!

[trulybetty]

Sunday Week In Review XIV

How's everyone doing? I skipped out on last week's update since it was a really slow week on all fronts for all the things for me last week. Things picked up a bit this week - but I'll be honest, I'm having a hard time finding my feet around here at the moment and finding a groove to get into.

Not sure if it's that time of year, a bit of a writing lull or what - but I've been a little meh, not in the sad sense - more like I'm a petulant child offered six different things and I turn my nose up at all of them because I don't know what I want lol.

Also trying to figure out a system for getting through my TBR list, right now it feels like it's out of control and there are only so many I can read in a week. Especially since I want to get through some of my physical TBR pile and dedicate a couple nights a week to offline reading.

Anyway, enough about me seemingly channelling Baby Truly™️ - on with the recap of the last two weeks!

T R U L Y   U P D A T E S . . .

I did a second round of the 'First Sentence' ask game, which I absolutely adore! If you haven't done it before, I very much recommend it! If you do this, tag me so I can come throw a sentence at you!

Round 2

tim x cagney (f!reader)

jack x reader (f!reader)

joel x Charlotte (OFC)

dieter x bryony (OFC)

jack x reader (f!reader)

frankie x clementine (OFC)

W H A T   I   R E A D . . .

Delta Landscaping (Triple Frontier) by @rhoorl Jess' series has me on tenterhooks for every update and then on the edge of my seat waiting for more! This last update we entered the start of Frankie's arch and while it pulls at the heartstrings, I'm so here for it and what's to come next! Also, Benny entering his Rocky era (Jess didn't write this, I've decided it) is something I'm also very much ready for!

Paranoid Hearts (Javi P.) by @goodwithcheese This series. This series is just something else and I finally got my ass into gear to get caught up, and while on the one hand, I'm sorry I started so late on the other hand I enjoyed this smorgasbord of Javi and Tabitha.

he makes life better (Joel) by @wildemaven This is such a warm comforting hug of a fic that just seeps into your bones, that makes your toes curl in softness and you re-read more than once. This is everything fluff should make you feel and I adore each and every last part of this and will be re-reading this.

Headshots (Marcus P.) by @secretelephanttattoo I was not ready for this to end, but El gave our boy Marcus the ending he and his Ella deserved and it was both spicy and sweet. If you've not read this yet, I suggest you do. Also, peep her forthcoming wip... 🔎

Thrash Metal (Dieter) by @morallyinept Jett is back with another delectably mouthwatering smutty one-shot with our favourite deviant Dieter Bravo. This is sinfully indulgent and a must-read and one that lends itself to definitely more than one read.

Six and a half minutes - Frankie's version by @avastrasposts This one calls for a breakout of the Hot Ones gif for sure, because this was the mood the entire time I read this. If anything, Frankie is not one to back down from a challenge...

Medicine (Joel) by @goodwithcheese I was so excited to see Megan had written for Joel that I had to drop everything to read this over my coffee the other morning. I love everything about the dynamic between these two and how Megan illustrates the deep affection they have for one another through their actions as we all know our post-outbreak Miller is not one quick with his words. I hope this isn't the last we see of Joel here!

M E M O R A B L E   P O S T S . . .

Heidi’s amazing mood board inspired by Sequins! 😍 I’m still in absolute awe of it and I love it so much! I think it's going to get a spot on my work desk this week! 💕

These thots had started off as Joel Thots, but have now morphed into Tim Thots and I'm not mad about it... might share a little snippet later 😏

@morallyinept's 'Ode to Writers' this week - I'm going to refrain from getting on my soapbox here (I'd be here all day) - but the table is not finite, it's infinite. If you're not inching your chair down to make room for another chair, or pulling the spare chairs in from the garage, then maybe you need to re-evaluate your relationship with this community.

E N J O Y E D  T H I S  W E E K  . . .

Finally watching ‘Strange Way of Life’ and getting to live message my thots to @rhoorl as I watched - it was a cinematic dissection.

Date night with Mr. Truly - we spent the entire two hours wondering what people do on dates aside from watching their phones and waiting for a call to say your kids are out of control and have taken over Nakatomi Plaza. But needless to say, we had fun, I even ate a meal without someone else's hand in it.

Amazing moots being mooting awesome 🙌 - I'm thankful every day that I get to interact with some wonderful people and have found a lovely corner of this hell site to play in a sandbox with some amazing people 💕

S P E C I A L M E N T I O N . . .

Check out this writing challenge that myself and a group of people that I'm lucky to call moots created that we would love for you to join in on! Everything about it is random and everyone starts with the same parameters and everything else after that is up to you! So excited to see what everyone does with this!

Do I know anything about Javi Pēna? Nope. Am I going to join in? Yes I am! 🙌

See you January 1st to dive into all the fics this challenge I hope produces! 💛

T H I S  W E E K ' S  J A M . . .

Thank you to @gnpwdrnwhiskey for inspiring this week's selection after she pointed out the parallels to Chiffon that I haven't been able to get out of my head since.

Hope everyone has had a great week! Here's to a great week ahead and I hope its a good one full of obnoxious drinks of choice and soft places to land and enjoy.

[wrestlersownmyheart]

Pairing: Elias X Female Reader

Summary: You surprise Elias with a trip to Bethany Beyond the Jordan, where you help him to realize a long time dream of being baptized in the River Jordan. The only thing that makes it even more special for him, is that you are baptized with him.

Disclaimers: I own nothing or anyone associated or affiliated with WWE. I own only the original characters. This is just a fictional story that came from my imagination.

Content/Trigger Warnings: None. Just pure fluff.

Note: I am of course unsure of the exact details of Elias’ trip to get baptized in the River Jordan, so this will absolutely be completely made up. Bear with me. Hope this is enjoyed! 🙂 I also don’t know what the person is called that performs the baptisms, so I’m going to call them a baptist–similar to John the Baptist.

Also, this story may be on the short side since I’m just now trying to get back into the groove of writing.

Beyond the Jordan

The alarm woke you and your husband, Elias Samson, that morning and you smiled, thinking of the gift you had to cheer him up with since being laid off from the WWE. You turned over in the bed and kissed him softly, giggling as his beard tickled at your chin. "G'morning handsome."

"Morning," he replied in a sleep-roughened voice as he returned your kiss.

You could see a cloud in his eyes as he pulled back and turned onto his back in the bed, his arms up and his hands laced behind his head. He was obviously deep in thought.

"I have a surprise for you," you whispered with an encouraging smile, giving his beard a playful tug.

"Oh, do you now," Elias chuckled, and yanked you across his broad chest. "What is it?"

Squealing in delight, you briefly pulled yourself free of his embrace and reached for your night table, opening the drawer. Quickly you pulled out the two plane tickets to Amman Jordan, and handed them to him, grinning like the cat that ate the canary.

Confused, Elias took the plane tickets. "A trip?" His eyes scanned over the flight details and you knew the instant he saw the destination.

His brown eyes met your gaze and the corner of his mouth quirked upward. "Really?"

His expression was so hopeful and happy, tears of joy burned your eyes as you nodded. "Do you like it?" So excited were you that you didn't give him a chance to respond right away. "We fly to Amman, and then from there we'll take a taxi to Bethany Beyond the Jordan and after a short walk, we'll get baptized together in the Jordan!"

"I…." he puffed out a shaky breath and rubbed his hand down his face. "I love it. It's the most beautiful gift anyone has ever given me."

"Well, let's get to packin' big guy," you giggled, "We leave tomorrow!"

}i{}i{}i{}i{}i{

You clutched nervously at the armrest of your seat as the plane took off at lightning speed. You were shaking, you were so scared, but this trip had to happen. It was so important to Elias.

In the next instant, his large hand was covering yours. "Easy there, sweetheart." He pried your hand from the armrest and laced his fingers with yours. "I forgot how scared of flying you are. Are you okay?"

You nodded, and blew out a soft, shaky breath. "Y-yes." You shook your head slightly, clearing your thoughts and your fear from your mind. "Yes, I'm fine. Don't worry." You inwardly chastised yourself for showing fear. You wanted this trip to be perfect and so far, you were in danger of ruining it.

"Don't worry, Y/N," Elias said softly, stroking his thumb over the back of your hand. "We prayed after we got our seats. The Lord is not going to let anything happen. We're perfectly safe."

You nodded, and took another deep breath, squeezing his hand in yours. His words washed over you and the truth in them instantly calmed you. "I know. And thank you. I'm always the most nervous when the plane first takes off. I'm fine now."

He raised your joined hands to his mouth and placed soft, feathery kisses over each of your knuckles. "Thank you. Really. I've always wanted to do this."

You smiled softly, "You're welcome. I was hoping this would cheer you up."

"It has," he answered you. "I feel so much better about everything now."

"I'm glad."

A stewardess approached you then and offered drinks along with your breakfast. You both requested just orange juice instead of mimosas, since neither of you drank alcohol.

Once the stewardess left the two of you alone, you both began to eat your breakfast, and tried to relax through the long flight.

}i{}i{}i{}i{}i{

"Look! We're here!"

You pointed to the river as you zipped up the remaining bit of zipper on your white baptismal robe, and Elias smiled. "Yes, we are."

Giggling, you took off at a jog and headed closer to the river. "Just think about it! We are going to be baptized where Jesus was!"

Elias chuckled and followed behind you, savoring the moments you were both experiencing.

Finally reaching the bridge-like structure that led you down into the Jordan River, you both climbed onto it and made your slow descent into the river, seeing as there were several people ahead of you in line to be baptized. You stood behind Elias so he could go first. After all, you'd planned this trip for him.

You watched as the baptist spoke briefly over each person, and then lowered them into the waters; and quickly assisting them back to their feet. Then the next person came forth and the process was repeated.

About an hour passed before Elias' turn came. He stepped forward and headed for the baptist as you watched proudly.

"Hello. What is your name?" Elias was greeted by the baptist and shook hands with him.

"My name is Elias. Elias Samson."

"Alright, Elias are you ready?"

At his nod, the baptist spoke softly, "Today we acknowledge your old self is buried with Christ and you have been raised to new life in Jesus! Therefore, Elias, I now baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son, and of the Holy Spirit!"

You watched as Elias was assisted down into the water. You almost chuckled at the sight of your large husband being helped down into the water. He didn't need help truthfully. But you caught yourself and your slightly unsanctimonious–though unintentional–reaction, and remained silent.

In the next instant, Elias was rising back to his feet and he had the biggest, happiest smile on his handsome face. Tears burned at your eyes as you saw his joy. He–albeit awkwardly since he was in water–headed toward the showers and changing rooms but stopped and turned back around so he could watch you be baptized next.

You stepped forward and headed down the bridgelike structure, holding the railing as you went. A moment later, you'd approached the baptist and shook his hand in greeting.

"And what is your name," the baptist asked.

"I'm Y/N."

The baptist spoke the small prayer over you and in the next instant you were being tilted back into the water. And as the water engulfed you, you thought how amazing it was that you were in the same place Jesus had been. Doing exactly as he'd done–obeying the Father, showing your love for the Father.

And then you were lifted up, water spilling from your hair and body.

Smiling, you shook the baptist's hand again and thanked him. Then you were heading for Elias who was waiting on you and smiling from ear to ear. Once you reached him he pulled you into a big hug and kissed the top of your head. "This was amazing, babe. It was great getting baptized but watching you get baptized was just as special. I'm so lucky to have a God-fearing wife that loves the Lord the same as I do.

"Likewise," you told him, reaching up and kissing his cheek. "I love you."

"I love you," he replied. "Now, let's go get showered and changed and head over to the Sea of Galilee!"

"Yes! But first we need to put in an order for a DVD of our baptisms," you reminded him. "We definitely want to remember this forever."

"Yes, we do."

"I know something else we'll want to remember, too." you added, a sly smile crossing your face. "I have something else to surprise you with."

"Oh really," Elias chuckled, and pulled you closer. "What's this surprise?"

You hiccuped on a sob of happiness and looked into his eyes. "We're going to have a baby."

"Are you….?" He swallowed hard and fought back tears of joy. "Are you for real?"

You nodded and smiled through your own tears. "We're having a baby," you repeated. "We're starting our family!"

He pulled you up against him and planted a soft kiss to your mouth. "Thank you for everything. This was the perfect place to come to and to find out our family is growing…"

You flushed and smiled at his speechlessness. "I'm so glad you're happy."

"Happy doesn't cover it, sweetheart," Elias said, putting his arm around your shoulders and leading you to the showers and changing rooms. "Now, what do you say we go see the Sea of Galilee and take the baby on his or her first boat ride?"

You nodded excitedly. "Yes, let's."

Minutes later, you were headed to do just that.

THE END

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[benjis-journey]

10.13.24 (Day 3)

Ever since I came home with my testosterone prescription, I've feared that my mother might try to throw it away or take it from me. I know she hasn't, but I keep feeling the need to check the medicine cabinet just in case. In reality, I don't think she wants to touch or even look at it. Maybe she hasn't even noticed it yet and it just blends in with the other items in our medicine cabinet. That might be it. I think I'm right to be weary, though. She has definitely taken my things before and thrown them out.

There was this one instance that always particularly stuck with me. I was seventeen and performing at my high school's Christmas concert for the very last time as part of the concert choir. My then boyfriend attended to show his support for me. I could see him grinning from ear to ear in the crowd the whole way through. When the concert concluded, he walked me out to my mother's car and gave me a beautiful bouquet of roses. I was touched, but I could see my mother watching us in my peripheral vision. I know she watched as I kissed him goodbye. I know she watched as I embraced him in a tight hug. I know she watched as I giggled when he spoke to me. I got the feeling she may have watched the whole time with nothing but scorn to paint the colors of her face.

I'd like to say I treasured that bouquet for as long as I could, but they were gone when I awoke the next morning. Even the vase I put them in that night was nowhere to be found. I knew for certain my mother was behind this. I didn't find the flowers in the trash, but I knew she got rid of them while I slept. I never asked her or spoke up about it, but there wasn't a doubt in my mind that this was her doing. I'm not sure if she was jealous, homophobic, or downright rotten, but who does that? I was more confused at the time, but looking back I'm now incredibly angry. I can't stop being angry. She infuriates me with every word she speaks and every movement she makes. Perhaps the hormones have kicked earlier than expected! Or maybe I'm just pent up. I know I shouldn't keep these feelings bottled up, I've been advised not to. But there's no point in speaking to my mother about any of the heinous things she's said or done to me. If not her, who else am I supposed to tell?

On a lighter note, I think I may have struck some long overdue inspiration to write a song. As angry as I've been lately, I've also been pretty happy. I've met amazing people, made amazing memories, and yet I still have so much to look forward to. I've been waiting for months to get back into my groove. Actually, by now, I think it's been a year. I can't believe I haven't written any lyrics or created any soundtracks in a year. I'm glad that all these wonderful changes are breaking me out of my writer's block. In terms of creativity, my focus has been elsewhere. I enjoy what I do and what I create, but I've gone far too long without indulging in my lifelong passion. I'll have to make up for lost time.

I wonder what kind of songwriter I'll be in the future. I wonder what kind of singer I'll be in the future. I've been doing vocal exercises just like I did in voice training and concert choir for all those years just to prepare for the day when my voice finally drops. As excited as I am for that day, I'm also terrified. I don't want to lose my register seeing as I'm a mezzo-soprano. It's taken years to build up my range and it'd kill me if all those years of hard work went to waste. It'll be tough without a coach, but I think I have the resources necessary to keep myself afloat and adjust to the changes I experience. Perhaps I'll be an even better vocalist than I was before when my voice deepens. Only time will tell!

—Benjiꕤ

[dairy-farmer]

So I've recently made a new AO3 account (completely separate from my main one, different email and everything lmao) bc I want to start writing porn, and I was wondering if I could have your permission to use some of your asks as like, prompts or ideas? Especially ones that were my own (this is PP!Tim Anon btw, and I've sent in. A lot of asks without signing them off as that, like I could make an entire list and it would probably hit double digits of which asks you've gotten that were mine lmao)!! I would ofc credit you and your blog! I don't know how to imbed links to the individual asks (I'll still try but I can't promise anything lmao), but I'll at least mention your Tumblr name and AO3 account!

I really wanna try my hand at some random, filthy oneshots without a bunch of world building or context, bc that's something I tend to get hung up on in my writing, and I wanna stick to some short and sweet smut oneshots about Tim being a pregnant, underage nympho slut, or a puppy factory, or a cocksleeve for the rogues of Gotham and their goons, all that good stuff!!

On that thought tho, do you have any pieces of advice for like, consistent writing, or motivation to write? Bc that's my biggest struggle tbh is sitting down to start writing. Usually once I start I can churn out a couple thousand words in one sitting, but I gotta start first, ya know? Any words of wisdom would mean a lot ❤️❤️❤️

answered out of order:

yes of course❤️❤️❤️!!!!!!!!!!!! you don't believe how happy that makes me to hear!!!! so many of the asks i get sent are just so brilliant and well done and it would make me so beyond happy to know people started writing or got inspired to write out their ideas!!! and i'm sure that people who submitted other posts you get inspiration from would love to see others expand further on their asks ❤️❤️❤️❤️!!!

one shots are a really great way to really get back into a sort of groove of writing because it can be shorter, the plot may be not as dense or complex as something from a multichap (though you can also write VERY long one shots that are incredibly detailed too), and it can be mainly composed of "fun" writing in the sense that you don't have to do buildup for bigger things like you would in longer multichaps or those that are heavily plot driven. i totally get struggling to get motivation to write, for me it was always like i had to wait for my brain to be turned "on" or in a working mode for me to get any writing for my fics done which meant it usually only happened when i was studying for exams or doing projects for school. however for me that meant when i was in the 'off season' like breaks from school it meant that even though i had time, i no longer had motivation to write. that's something i'm still working to break myself out of and i think one think that is pretty effective is thinking of a scene or piece of dialogue i'm excited to write and look forward to getting to so it motivates to write to reach it. that works sometimes, other times i think of a reward i'll get myself once i finally finish. something like candy or some snack or food i don't often get or go out of my way to get. and another thing that works for me sometimes is basically planning the fic, for a short one shot the major bullet points of what happen would be a short list and so it would pretty much trick your brain into thinking 'wow a short task list i can do all of these pretty quickly/complete them without too much hassel or procrastination!'.

ultimately i think writing one shots takes a lot of pressure off since as a single chapter there's basically no further commitment needed like it would during a multi chapter fic which can be very relieving for people who get easily stressed or pressured by commitments with no hard deadline.

im very happy to hear you'll be expanding on your tim ideas and look forward to them!!!!!! also if you need any help with embedding on aow the reference collection on ao3 is really helpful and its where i learned to embed links with this tutorial ❤️❤️❤️❤️