#i'm ten seconds away from adding pat to the stanlon bc i adore her

[billdenbrough]

your band au has left me insanE i can't take it i'm going INSANE please write more abt it Please I Beg You

jkfhsdjhkls ok i just woke up half an hour ago and have to leave for work in ten minutes so we’re going quick and raw, babey (eddie vc: that is a TERRIBLE song title, guys, what the fuck, half our fans are virgins who will think it’s meant to be sexy and not in fact you explaining your terrible sexual misadventures)

richie is a tambourimbo (thank you @dykeeddie for the concept/@benverlesbians for the iconic name/@chaoticbisexualalien for assigning richie tambourine)

@heylilyhilily said on the tags of one of char’s posts that he puts glitter in the tambourine and when he hits it on stage the crowd fucking loses it and? they’re right

but anyway there’s this whole antoni-type conspiracy theory from some fans in the fandom like, ‘can richie even play music?’

and it’s not for months, until a late night interview where eddie is fucking sleepy and just throws out offhand that richie’s, like, classically trained in three different instruments and has fucked around enough on all of them that when someone’s sick during rehearsal or song-writing sessions, richie can just take their place when needed

and it blows twitter’s fucking minds

one day for a charity event people pay money to make richie try an instrument to see if he can play it a la penelope and he pretends he can’t play the triangle but then when he manages to play the bagpipes everyone loses their fucking mind, yet again

an early theory was that bill and richie write all the songs bc they’re straight and need smth to do, and the whole band was quick to take instagrams of richie’s butt and be like, ‘he literally has a bi flag on the ass of his jeans’ and anyway that’s the first time they get a scathing review from a conservative magazine

(the first time they get suspended on instagram is when their band account flashes some Female Presenting Nipples (bev’s) on one of their album art options they’re showing on insta, and it makes all the others so mad that they spam their instagrams with pictures of their nipples or each others’ like “guess the nip! who’s who!” (richie adds the tag #suckmyteatinsta and it trends) until instagram gets so annoyed they suspend richie and mike too, which leads to a twitter uproar and instagram is shamed into giving them all back their accounts and someone tweets shark puppy like “let’s get shark puppy tattooed on our TITS LADS to say thank u for saying fuck the patriarchy!!” which like they appreciate but also leads to eddie giving a non-angry but impassioned thirty minute monologue in an interview on conan the next night about what organisations are having real informative impact against misogyny and facts abt the patriarchy bc yeah they hate the patriarchy but also these organisations are dedicated to that and deserve your support & half the fanbase falls in love with him)