#i'm still being insane about my little guys I'm just. having trouble writing??? Its weird and I dont like it

[box-architecture]

Hi, I just came across your au where Sam and Dream are like demons and Punz is an angel and they end up together and I was wondering if you have like some more lore for it? I liked the idea so like if you have more ideas I'd love to hear it. Especially if there's anything about Dream's and Sam's relationship before Sam got therapy?

Hi friend! :o) sorry this took so long to answer. I do not have a good excuse. I kept staring at my inbox and saying Yes I Will Answer This And Be Very Productive. And then I did not. Fuck.

While I don't have anything in my pile of notes for it from back when I wrote it, I do think Dream and Sam were more friends than dating each other before Sam went a bit off the deep end and put Dream in a cage. Sam has a huge jealousy kink, but before therapy he didn't think of it as a kink, was kind of ashamed of being turned on by his friend being fucked by other people (and then Sam fucking him and showing off how much better he was.) He tried very hard to adjust it to his more black and white worldview and his need to be righteous and just. Other men were touching Dream, being touched by him, when Sam could take far better care of him.

And it was Dream's job, of course, so it wasn't his fault that other people wanted him. Especially when his friend was just so! So-!!!! (Pretty wonderful perfect made to be held made to be loved.)

So obviously the solution is to lock him away and make him Only for a Sam.

On Dreams end, he enjoyed teasing Sam about how possessive he got when Dream came home with bite marks or with the faint scent marks of one of his clients. It was a bit funny to him, but if Sam wanted to fuck him until he forgot anyone else, it felt good to have that kind of intimacy with someone he really enjoyed being with- not even just sexually, but as a close friend. As someone who cared about him.

So he went out to his job, had fun with his friends, came home to his roommate/friend/big teddy bear who hoarded the covers and always managed to get peanut butter on his nose.

Dream didn't really have a residence up until this point, notably. He never saw the need for one. Didn't do a lot of sleeping either, because Sleep Is For People Who Can't Stay Awake, You See. When Sam got worried and coaxed Dream into maybe having a sleepover, Dream slept for a week, only waking up every once and a while because he was hungry. Since inccubi/succubi feed off of affection, whether platonic, romantic, or sexual, Dream's solution to needing to feed was to crawl into Sam's lap and cling onto him like a backpack until he was sated. Sam was, of course, very normal about his dearest friend relying on him to be safe and taken care of and loved.

Sam was earnest about Dream being So Good at his job and taking care of people, so it was kind of abrupt to be locked inside a gilded cage with his normally very silly Sam guarding the entrance.

I honestly haven't thought much about the Abuse and Bad Things That Happened, and I remember very distinctly thinking about how I didn't really want to think all that much about it, because we already have so much canon stuff to work with, and I am a very tired clown who just wants 30000 increasingly outlandish AUs where Sam and Dream kiss.

If I needed to have an idea, it'd be a thing where Dream, locked away as he was, wasn't able to feed from anyone that wasn't Sam, and Sam, in his weird, distressed mindset, wasn't always the best food. Pure Affection, untainted by negative emotions, is usually whats most filling and what tastes best.

(Self-love isn't sustainable long term, but its considered a good backup reserve when you're starving and in need. Dream... never really had all that much self-love in the first place. Confidence, assurance, but never love. Being locked away and hungry is not the best time to be having this realization.)

[chibitabathasloves]

i agree w the notes !! i hadnt noticed the scarf stuff but it makes a lot of sense. nice catch !

sorry the brain fog is taking a bit. i love that u have a notebook for that btw. if you ever end up watching manhunter, it's an ok adaptation of the book red dragon. im kind of insane about red dragon willnibal and manhunter willnibal : i think manhunter will is VERY different from red dragon will, in bad ways, but both are kind of insane to me. i have book fandesigns but idk if its worth posting the content bc everyone is so used to NBC ? but then again i literally draw manhunter designs which are from a movie literally Two people in the fandom have seen so

i like ur interpretation of hannibals feelings for will ! i do have a bit of trouble being as optimistic about it as other people in the fandom. i kind of don't really know where the control freakism starts and where it ends w his feelings for him. you're right that he didn't choose who he loves, which i'm sure made him ABSOLUTELY FURIOUS, BECAUSE HOW DARE, but also so he can play chess with will properly instead of just making him a pawn he does have to relinquish some control... and he can't just detach himself emotionally from the situation, he's in love... but then it means he has to give up control. i love willnibal so much, i love writing it so much, it's so fucking complicated.

also i love the italian nicknames they're so cute :) i love the idea of italian nicknames in general. hope u can kick ur friends ass !! i do love the idea of will trying to connect w hannibal thru languages. italian seems like a good middle ground, lithuanian is really pushing it too far imho. remembers lovingly that mspaint comic i made w will thinking it would be a VERY good idea to practice saying "i love you" in lithuanian and chiyoh begging him to stop because it was the worst idea alive

Hello again, sorry I was at a wedding last night trying to wrangle small children that aren't mine.

My notes have like insightful little quips and then bullshit like: "Fucking monster. Licked a newspaper." Like, ah yes. They're going to give the cannibal glue. No, no they won't. But he sure did lick that newspaper for his weird little scrapbook.

I'm not going to lie, the reason I've actually thought about watching Manhunter is cause of you. My one friend told me the movie isn't very good (I'm notoriously bad at watching bad films) but I wanted to be able to interact with your art for those things because I like your art so much. Also now that I am an unhinged Hannibal fan, he got me to watch Hannibal Rising (i think I told him I wanted my time and money back), SOTL and Red Dragon. My first thought when seeing Norton as Will was "Really? The fight club guy?" But i remember so little of the film other than 'wow, Freddie Lounds is a dick whether he has one or not' and 'hehehe exercise leash'. And then with SOTL I was like "wow, good thing all these characters appear to be the pinnacle of mental health." But they sure didn't seep into my brain. I might try watching them again. But I def want to watch Manhunter. Give me insane. I'm down for the sickness (brain rot).

Also, give me the fan designs. I'm still a partial Witcher fan, so I love seeing the book designs people come up with. I love that for people! I love that for me!

The weird thing about Hannibal's feelings is that he's so blasé about them. I think at first he saw Will, and was intrigued about the potential of being seen. But clearly it wasn't the superpower it was practically claimed to be. After all, Will looked him dead in the eyes and didn't see the creature behind the veil. But maybe Hannibal saw something else in those eyes that wouldn't settle. Like a feral animal curled into itself, eyes darting around, looking for the best and quickest exit. Unlike when he met Lass, who was hardworking and smart, he kept her because of that intelligence. Will had something, but he wasn't sure what. And I think that's why when he says he was curious about what Will would have done with Hobbs when he had placed that phone call, I believe him. Will was either going to be another of Jack's bloodhounds stolen from under his nose, or he was going to be something else. I think that Hannibal struggles with some form of depression, the surface level attachments to his creature comforts, so the boredom is stifling. Hannibal himself is so incredibly nuanced and shifts from "Will is my friend" to "Guess I have to eat him" in the same conversation. I don't think Will was ever safe from Hannibal's knife. At least not until like S3 finale. The issue with an emotion you're not used to is its volatile, and we can see that in how Hannibal talks of Will and to Will. I do think that he joined Jack in helping to groom Will to kill himself, because it would be a worthy challenge.

I know some of the Fandom elevate Will to a god-adjacent status in Hannibal's eyes. But again, I think that comes and goes. I think there are moments where Hannibal looks at Will and sees the God of Righteous Fury, and other times he sees the man who is ruining his life. Hannibal's body language and facial expressions are all very neutral (props to Mads Mikkelsen for that), so you have to watch his eyes and mouth for the smallest flickers. And they are small. Matthew Brown was a fool and a tool, but he was right about the eyes.

NBC Hannibal's past is very patchwork-y but from what I could scrape together he would have stopped speaking Lithuanian around the time he was mute, would have shifted into at least understanding or attempting to understand Russian (soviet occupied Lithuania) before he fled to France. In France he was still a mute. NBC specifically said his Uncle Robertus took him in at 16. Boarding school. So we can assume he learned French in boarding school. Japanese would have been next up, Lady Murasaki and Chiyoh would have used it to speak to each other, both so far from home, it would have helped ease the homesickness. So I do believe Hannibal would have learned Japanese. But Japanese would be tied to another heartbreak (like Lithuanian) when Murasaki sends Hannibal away after he refuses to stop stabbing people. He goes to his mother's homeland of Italy, and eventually settles in Florence, where he learns Italian and comes to grow into the man we know today. So that's why I advocated hard for Italian nicknames. And why I think that language for Hannibal is important, but also an insane field filled with landmines.

Welcome to my Hannibal TedTalk lmao

And I will kick his butt, because I want to write suburban murder husbands calling each other il mio mostro and il mio tutto, and I think we chose a German nickname for Abbie, but I don't remember it now. Had to look it up Jägerin, for huntress. Cause we're unhinged and can lmao