#i'm stil stuck on HOW THE FUCK DID THAT HAPPENED

[honeybittersweet]

Guess who downloaded Bumble, still has likes but somehow ran out of people to give likes to.

[mimikoolover]

i’m a kookmin truther but how is the heart km photo more sus than possibly jk back hugging a woman? appearing to be teasing her where it doesn’t look totally platonic at all?

my belief is whether kookmin is STILL dating right now, at the very least kookmin fooled around more than once and their dynamic and relationship deserve some eyebrow raising if they’re seeing other people while doing the things they are doing.

however, it really boggles my mind when kookminers totally act like there’s nothing sus about those videos. it’s one thing to think that man wasn’t jk but to acknowledge it MIGHT be him, then you should also be more honest.

I genuinely think it was him. I cope by thinking that we had a vague timeline, although we have an idea given the hairstyle that man had. I cope by believing JK and Jimin tried to date, broke up, see other people and whatever they are doing months before enlisting.

I always held onto the belief that they have such a peculiar relationship. That if something is truly going on, good for them and for me, as i can say I’m not surprised. However, if in this universe they never truly “officially” dated, i would have so many questions and i definitely feel bad about their significant others.

i think in your mind him being in a straight relationship is automatically more realistic. imo you can't infer anything sus from the video because they're not kissing or even sitting on the couch cuddling. jungkook is quite a playful person i assume with everyone so back hugging isn't that sus. if you remember (you may not) the picture of him with the tattoo artist, he was back hugging her too so...you could argue that was sus? if he took a pic like the heart arch pic with a woman, would you think that was more sus than the video or not? i think for all of us thinking objectively is hard because what we feel will be influenced by our internal biases and how we think about jikook too. but it's not like i /want/ jikook to date each other. i'm fine with whatever they are. i'm not fighting you on your opinion for that reason. if i'm honest one of the reasons why i think the video wasn't sus is because he went on to deny having a gf right after the leak which i'm pretty sure was the truth, given his don't give a fuck attitude in 2023, i doubt he would have denied it if it were true, especially as that has not happened before (with the tattoo artist). so maybe he dated her earlier and not by the time he denied it but idk.

peculiar is the right word but tbh i don't think either of them had a significant other you'd have to feel sorry for, as in even if they were casually seeing other ppl i don't think it ever got very far (so far). if it did i think jikook may have 'cooled off' from each other especially jungkook cause he seems (again just my perception of him) very dedicated to the person he loves given how he's followed jimin around like a puppy, complained about not spending time with him etc. he would quite happily be with jimin 24/7 so if that were his S/O i bet they'd get at least this level of sole dedication.

funnily i think about the content of your ask quite a lot...i also think it's interesting that this topic only comes up concerning jungkook and not 'sus' things about jimin that tbh i don't even bother looking into but saw a bit about back in the day (that actress posting from his place or whatever?).

there are a lot of things (gossip) about jikook and all members of bts, like any other celebs but tbh i made peace with not ever really knowing for sure. when liam payne died and it came out he lied about having kidney issues to cover up going to rehab, for some reason that really stuck with me (in addition to him hiring 2 sex workers before he died...) like we don't know celebs lol i will say with bts, i don't think they do stuff in secret that will disappoint us or be scandalous. but i can see jikook dating each other and them also not dating each other, i guess when we get confirmation of either we still won't know any details. so to me it doesn't make that much of a difference what i think about this all lol.

[cielsosinfel]

(copying over a ridic long twitter thread where I rambled nonsensically about Rolan post-Lorroakan fight, don't mind me. I have even more thoughts since I read through the Dialogue Parser and saw how his behavior changes if either Cal or Lia, OR BOTH, die that has me even more gdkghkhkh ok i guess i rambled about that in the tags, anyway, i'll copy those bluesky posts over later)

didn't make it to HoH but I did beat Lorroakan finally (I just had to change Lae'zel to battlemaster and give her goading strike and she carried me the whole way lmao) and ROLAN... ROLAN.... ROLAAAAAAAAAAN... i am 100% satisfied with how his story concludes

I'm still kinda surprised how much a fairly minor side character, whose death in the game has negligible impact on anything, stil got to me so bad... the way you can tell from the first scene that he's deeply insecure + deeply stressed over responsibility for his siblings' safety

(instead of trusting his siblings to be able to watch out for themselves as much as him). And he covers it all up with really embarrassing self-aggrandizement, just so conceited, gets mad at TavDurge for showing him up in a way that makes him look weak and incapable.

THE WAY HES AN ANGRY ABUSIVE DRUNK IN ACT 2 AND EVEN when you rescue Cal and Lia he's still so angry and yelling, and Lia is too. i get the impression Lia was the one who always looked out for Cal and Rolan as kids so she has her own issues with needing to be the Strong one

and Rolan is chafing over being the weak adopted brother and has developed even WORSE issues over being the Strong one, and neither can concede ground on who has is the most responsible sibling, and the dynamic is all fucked up and Cal is the only one trying to find some balance

neither of them ever learned they can express they were terrified for the other's sake, and terrified of being too weak to look out for the other, without wrapping it up in protective anger and finger-pointing. it's just ;________;

it really hit hard when he actually apologizes for the way he acted while horrifically drunk in act 2 lol... but then if you stand around him and Lia are still arguing. they really just need to hug it out. cal sitting off to the side desperately wishing they'd hug it out

anyway the fact Rolan is so conceited and assured of his own power and greatness and ability to handle Everything On His Own, that he desperately convinces himself his new master beating him for no good reason constantly has a meaning, he just has to survive to prove himself...

and survive to provide for his siblings (who can't even live with him because lorroakan is that much of a dick???), and is just, a shadow of how he was in act 2, angry and aggressive and ready to take on an army himself for cal and lia's sake, just gets to me sooooooo bad. god.

I just think about what kind of mental gymnastics he must be doing since he got to the Tower, feeling so angry but needing to square everything happening with the image he built up of this guy he HERO WORSHIPPED FOR YEARS, trying to just focus on the needs of his siblings... ugh

And then how it hits all of his insecurities with weakness, of being the one who rescues and protects others instead of needing the rescuing and protecting. Surviving near-certain-death twice only to end up stuck in an abusive apprenticeship. god how stupid must he have felt

(and when i say that i mean that with all the empathy and sympathy in the world, mind). anyway i'm rambling. i really love rolan. i really love how happy he is in the convo after defeating lorroakan, how he SMILES and seems so excited to finally have cal and lia LIVE WITH HIM

[beverlyonvinyl]

wasteland, baby! - JJ Maybank

summary; after a jealousy-fueled fight with your Kook ex-boyfriend, Rafe Cameron, the hot-tempered JJ has a long awaited meeting with you on the dock.

warnings; swearing, underage alcohol/drug consumption, plenty of angst, fluff.

word count; 1.5k

song; wasteland, baby! by hoizer

[ gif via pinterest ]

wasteland, baby / i’m in love / i’m in love with you.

The Boneyard was crowded with all walks of life tonight. Slimy Tourons looking for a girl to hook up with before they left town, rich Kooks getting drunk off of just a few beers, and the almighty rulers of the Outer Banks, the Pogues. Party animals by nature and fighters by chance, whether a nosy Kook got in their business or a Touron took something too far, a Pogue was always up to throw punches.

One of the Pogues stuck out, a particular blond-haired boy that was consistently sporting some kind of gnarly bruise or cut. The infamous JJ Maybank was always getting into of trouble, typically for a good cause. He's a ticking time bomb, and he can't keep his hands to himself.

The sandy-haired troublemaker was currently surrounded by a small arena of people, unbeknown to his circle of close friends that were sipping on bitter alcohol on the opposite side of the moonlit beach.

"JJ has been gone for like, twenty minutes," a girl with caramel skin and the most annoyed expression on her face pointed out to her other friends. "He probably found a girl."

The boy across from her looked behind him, he was a bit more sober than his reckless buddies.

"Kie... are they screaming his name?" He asked, still gawking at the large swarm of people behind him.

Another girl chimed into the conversation. "I bet someone is—"

"Is he in a fight?" Kie set her solo cup down on the ground and stood up. "What is his deal?"

The ringleader of the Pogues, and the boy who had thrown this party in the first place, came striding over to his other three friends with a freshly filled cup in his hand.

"John B.," the other boy stuttered. "JJ is beating the shit out of someone..."

His drunk and tired features expressed enough that he was done dealing with JJ's outbursts. Honest to god, everyone was tired of it. Picking him up from police stations, icing his bruises, making sure he didn't break something, he was acting out more than he ever had previously.

"Go deal with it," John B. gestured to the girl that wasn't Kie. "He'll listen to you."

Y/N raised her eyebrows at her best friend, contemplating if what he was saying was the truth, or just bullshit to get out of meddling with JJ's antics.

"I'm not getting between him and whoever he's kicking in the ass," she took down a gulp of her beer. "He's dangerous when he's angry."

"You make him less angry," John B. countered. "Now go fix it and I'll get the rest of these assholes off our beach."

Y/N headed for the crowd of onlookers, kicking up the sand with her worn, green Vans. She could hear another voice barking back at JJ, and unfortunately she recognized it.

She pushed her way through some brainless Tourons in cheap shark tooth necklaces, shoving them to the side and ordering them to scram. This was between her, JJ, and the guy that had got beaten to a pulp.

"Fucking Rafe," she sneered, watching JJ throw another punch to her ex-boyfriend's bloody face. "What did you do this time?"

JJ turned his head, his cerulean eyes piercing into hers. Rafe took this precious moment to breathe, for JJ's very violent assault had offered him little time for that.

"Everyone out!" Y/N yelled at the last few nosy people that surrounded them. She watched Rafe catch his last breath before he took another blow to his jaw. "Stop it, J."

"What?" He pushed Rafe's limp body to the side and looked at the frustrated girl standing above him.

She disregarded JJ's questioning look and crouched down next to her quivering, former lover. He was still very much alive, lord be damned if Rafe Cameron ever lose his life to a weed-smoking, beer-slugging, couch-surfing Pogue like JJ, but he had stil been pummeled horribly.

"Tell me what you did to make him hurt you," she muttered in Rafe's ear.

Rafe chuckled at her. Once his beaming girlfriend that thrived in country clubs and sundresses, she traded her perfect Kook life for a life full of treasure hunting and disappointing her parents.

If only he hadn't started with the cocaine.

"Just told Kelce some stories of how good you were in bed," he smirked at her with dark eyes.

JJ came stomping back towards them, open lighter in his tight grip. "You're fucking disgusting..."

Y/N narrowed her eyes at him. "Wait for me on the dock."

He let out a huff of aggression, not feeling free of the anger he had towards Rafe. His heavy boots hit the frail wooden planks of the Chateau's dock, and he couldn't help but let his thoughts drift to maybe, just maybe, Y/N wanted her dickhead of an ex-boyfriend back. Maybe they were out in the Boneyard reminiscing of old times when they would go to the country club and sneak kisses when their parents weren't watching. Maybe she wanted to help Rafe get clean so they could be together again.

JJ looked out at the calm water, such a contrast to the storm he was feeling in his chest. When he felt that strike of hurt, that pain and fury within him, he took it out on the nearest thing that crossed him.

"I'm sorry about that," a small voice hummed from behind him.

He turned around to see Y/N's figure framed by the blue moonlight.

"I should be the one that's sorry," he mumbled.

She sat beside him on the splintering dock. "J, I would've cut his face up with a beer bottle if I heard what he said."

He laughed at her a little. "So what'd you say to him?"

"That I'd cut off his dick if he talked about me like that again."

JJ looked at her in pure admiration. He knew when he first met her that she was locked up in the gates of the Kook lifestyle. Rafe always made him jealous, whether he spotted them holding hands while he was busing tables or sharing a drink while he was at a party with his friends. It dampened his mood and he wasn't afraid to show it... until she became a Pogue herself.

It would be an instant crime to make a move now. Pogues don't mess with other Pogues.

"I've always liked you, Y/N," he observed the way her eyes sparkled, even though it was dark.

She backed away from him every so slightly.

"No! Wait— not like that," he put his paw-like hand on her shoulder, cold rings creating a vibrant contrast against her hot skin. "As friends."

"Oh," she glanced down at the water. Endless nothingness.

There was a string of tension between the two rebellious teens that just couldn't be cut. Every time he saw her it made him dizzy, and getting drunk or high in her presence seemed to be a risk. If he let out even a whisper of how he felt, she'd hear him.

Y/N took his chin in her delicate hand, bringing his face towards hers in a moment they had both long awaited. His golden strands of hair fell in his entranced face. The ice had melted from his doe-eyes and the curve was back in his lips, formulating the smile that she chased after.

"I've always liked you too, JJ," she ghosted her lips over his. "Not as a friend."

He tried to stutter something out, tripping over his own tongue, but he was cut off by her plush lips on his own. The pungent liquor that she had been downing in the wake of her boredom met the smokiness that laced his breath. His warm hands found her waist, wrapping her in an embrace that he didn't want her to get out of. Maybe he would wake up in a cold sweat on John B.'s couch, this whole ordeal just a result of attempted manifestation, but he just wanted to indulge in her soft skin and sweet nothings. Even if they were a figment of his imagination.

"You're so beautiful," he murmured against her mouth. "Closer."

She whined at JJ's words, propping herself in his lap and kissing him harder. He had been waiting so long for this to happen, and now that he was getting it, he couldn't believe it was real. It was better than he had imagined it late at night when his heart and body ached for her. This was a new kind of euphoria.

If the world was ending, he would have no idea.

“Why didn’t we do this ages ago?” Y/N breathed against him as she left little pecks along his jaw.

JJ melted like a burning candle into her touch, praying that the flame in her that had ignited for him would forever stay lit.

“The Pogue rules,” he answered.

She cupped the side of his flushed face with her hand. She had never seen him so malleable for as long as she’d known him.

“I’d break all the rules for you,” she hummed. “I’m in love with you, that’s it.”

[ameliavandermerwe]

- Open Letter To Vince Neil -

Dear Vince;

First of all, i just wanna say a HUGE thank you because your voice has touched so many lives, including mine... Your voice has been the "soundtrack" for some of our happiest and craziest memories, best AND worst firsts even for some of us 90s teenagers (hey hey, i know i'm not the only one). And honestly i wouldn't hav it any other way. I must add: i ended up in the valley and around the Sunset Strip as a teenage runaway too... just, at a different time than you guys. (Yes, i do wish i was around in the 80s). Well anyways... the reason that i'm writing this letter and the things that i actually want to say are not any of these.

I know you don't know me, but i think i know you more than eıther of us can think. How do i know you that well without ever meeting you in person ?!? Well, that is because somehow i can see through you and i can read between your lines. Because we are not so much different. When i'm watching videos/interviews i can see the pain, the deep anguish and grief and (and perhaps remorse/guilt) in your eyes and beyond. I know that there is a VERY complicated, traumatized and perhaps vulnerable man who has been/is being tormented by remorse; hiding behind that hell raiser of an exterior. I know this and i can see this because i am a complicated woman who is STIL stuck between my abandonment issues (which is the perfect result of my fucked up childhood), a life time of battling myself & my addictions and the guilt that i feel for all the shit storm that i caused for everyone around me, hiding behind my volatile (and perhaps even violent) and a bit sleazy exterior. Oh, sounds so familiar, right ?!? Sounds just like someone you know very closely. Yes... Yes him !!! Look to your right on stage... look at that crazy fluffy-head standing at your right.In fact, look right into his eyes. You see that too, don't you ?!? Yes, i am kinda like a female version of him but... You ?!? you and i have something just as deep in common. And THAT is what i actually wanted to tell you about.

3 years ago on a damned January day, i received that call which no parent should ever have: there has been an accident and my 5 year old son was pronunced dead at the scene along with my ex, father of my 3 kids. And my 2 surviving kids were found unresponsıve iside the car and was taken into ICU. (ok i apologize, didn't wanna trigger any flashbacks to december 1984.. no drunk driving in this case.. it was an accident accident. at the very least, i know that my ex was stone cold sober while driving, for sure. I don't know how he really put up with me while he was sober himself anyway) Anyways, not gonna get you all worked up with details. I'm just gonna say that i have never really been able to deal with it. You know ıt very well from yourself and from that lovely crazy man to your right... emotions are not for us complicated people, after all. So what did i do instead of dealing with it like a normal person ?!? I ran right into the arms of a VERY toxic ex love... one that i had fallen head over heels i love with years ago: heroin... and his "terror twin" alcohol of course. I know, i know.. you too. Except, it was pills for you, not heroin... Still, same deal, man. And yes, i did have a death wish too (not that i never attempted anyway)

So why am i even writing this ?!? Well, i recently came across some little parts from your book and while reading i realized that i didn't know how much we were alike. And just wanted to tell you a few things. I read the excerpts from your book in tears, man... which happens very rarely, you know. The irony of it all: 1 year after your Skylar became an angel, i lost my younger brother at the SAME HOSPITAL when he was only 6 years old. He spent a whole year there so, who knows, maybe we passed each other by at the halls. Of course, i was a 11 year old kid at the time. But how could i have not recognized you ?!? Perhaps we watched 1 or 2 of those DvDs and stuff that YOU brought to that hosptal for all the other kids there. Well, whatever. I don't know, man.

I just wanted to tell you how i relate and that i understand. Also i wanted to give you a little encouragement and to let you know that you a not alone in this. Now please do me a favor and look into a mirror, ok ?!? Look at that man right in the eyes and say "yes, you messed up at times, yes you were wrong at times, yes you did some really big mistakes... but you are ALIVE !!! right here, right now. and you are alive for a reason... so... I FORGIVE YOU !!! i forgive you because you are not the same person anymore. you learned your lesson and you are a better person now... there is nothing that keep you from being the best possible version of you as long as you DON'T GIVE UP !!!" Come on.. like... i know you are still suffering because of what happened but YOU could have died in that car too along with Razzle. i don't wanna bring it up and upset you but come on !!! you could have died too but you didn't. there must be a reason. also, i'm sure Razzle forgave you a looooog time ago. Perhaps he even said "come on mate, enough is enough. i forgive you. now get back on your feet and LIVE !!! yes it was cut short but we had a pretty good time. " but you wouldn't hear because you were too distracted. (and yes, hear that inside your head in hs own voice and in his accent... and smile.. or laugh even... i know that would make you smile because it usually works for me) And about Skylar...i know it hurts like a motherfucker no matter how many years pass. but she still visits you and Sharise at times (actually, i watched Ex-Wives Of Rock and Sharise actually said that she did visit her). and i'm sure she is saying "come on daddy, its ok.. there is nothing you could have done. and if there was, you would have done anyways. i want you to be happy. we willl meet again some day. and i don't want you to give up. i met uncle Raz here and he takes good care of me until you come here. i miss you too but i don't want you to come here before your time. it' not your time yet. (yes, hear that in her voice too... i don't know what she sounded like but i'm sure she sounded like a child version of you) Im sure Razzle knows she is yours and taking good care of him until it's your time... wherever they are. so yea... DON'T YOU EVER DARE GIVE UP... please... i know it's easier said than done but dude, you're a bloody LEGEND !!! And you're a legend for a reason.

i know this is all crazy and hysterical, coming from a total strangerr. perhaps even awkward, coming from someone... well, i'm not THAT young but probably young enough to be your daughter 🙂 lol. i mean... damn i was negative 4 years old when you guys started so.. let's not even go there because it's making me crazy lol (yup i'm bit of a crazy fangirl). but hey, don't we all learn the biggest and best lessons in our lives from our youngers ?!? i learned and am still learning A LOT from my kids. well anyways... i just wanted you to know that, even though i'm a total stranger, you always have a friend, a sister.. whatever you wanna call, in me.. and you never have to deal with these alone... EVER... like damn, not just me but you have HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS walking with you... perhaps even millions all over the world.. from 1981 to today.. we're a GINORMOUS family... we're the CRÜE FAMILY for life !!! one for all, all for one.. yeah ?!? Also.. you have a magic power that i don't have: you have the opportunity to just let everything out to the world.. just.. get into that studio or on that stage and scream or shout or whatever... just know that you don't have to fight this alone... (yea i know, it's easier said than done.. people like us, we tend to keep everything to ourselves because we don't wanna show our vulnerable side but anyways...)

this is all i wanted to say.. and hell i can't wait for the Stadium Tour 🙂

even my 10 year old son can't wait lol

actually, i wanna tell you a secret but let's save that for our backstage chat, hopefully 😛 oh gosh, probably you, Nikki and i will be leaving that backstage in tears... total catharsis lol

gosh i can't believe im here writing these to you half laughing half in tears... i guess it's because i have no one to talk to either.

well, i hope this finds you in good health and all.. much love to you and your family.

YOU GOT THIS  VINNIE !!! 🤘🤘🤘

- Dallas Van Der Merwe

P.s: just in case if i get a chance to actually meet you guys at the backstage, i'm gonna bring this handwritten so you can read 🥰🥰🥰

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Buster

Rio: This flight is long Rio: longer 'cos I don't wanna be on it 😒 Buster: Don't, I'm dreading flying back Rio: Can't stay there forever Rio: Unless you ask for that transfer too Rio: only fair Buster: We both could Rio: I really would have to buy my way in Rio: maybe my parents are susceptible to that kind of bribery, like you WANT me back in school, yeah Buster: You're forgetting I know how smart you are, babe Buster: They'd be lucky to have you, even though you're the most distracting Rio: 😏 Rio: Yeah, no way you'd be allowed when your grades mysteriously plummet Buster: Though I've just discovered that catching up on my work actually takes much less time if I ignore all the girls that are offering to help me right now Buster: So there's that Rio: Who'd have known, eh Rio: better than me, I don't even want to think about work or any of it yet Buster: I have to, 10 days is a long time, even though it didn't feel like long enough at all Rio: I know Rio: You'll do it though Buster: I've already done loads Buster: I started as soon as you left Rio: 🤓 Rio: but seriously Rio: well done, baby Buster: If I thought about you I knew I wouldn't be able to stop Buster: You were right when you said it'd be worse after Rio: I know that too Rio: feel that too Buster: At least if we were both thick we could pretend we ain't done the maths on how long it is Buster: The curse of perfection, like Rio: Truly Rio: we've both waited longer Rio: just gotta think how good waiting made it, yeah Buster: Yeah Buster: Not that I should be thinking about that at this exact moment Rio: Sorry Rio: having trouble thinking about anything else still Buster: Me too Rio: Headfuck Rio: nowhere near as fun Buster: Fun not being the word Rio: not even close to good enough but as I said Rio: preoccupied still Buster: You've got more privacy in first class than I do here right now Buster: Use it Rio: But Rio: you've spoilt me Rio: I want you Buster: But I wanna watch you Buster: I miss you Rio: You know how to break my resolve but what happened to yours Buster: I reckon I'm due a break Buster: You know I like to play as hard as I work Rio: Then let's play Buster: I'd play with you until you were begging me not to & the pilot had heard enough to risk crashing the plane Rio: You know I like danger Rio: but I'm feeling like begging for more, not less right now Buster: Go on then Buster: Convince me Rio: [pic on the floor 'cos that first-class legroom honey] Buster: Maybe you can have some more Rio: Only maybe Rio: okay, you need some more first too Rio: hold on Buster: Are you sure keeping me waiting is the best idea? Rio: It was that or give the poor air hostess a show she didn't ask for whilst she was topping up my drink Rio: [audio this time] Buster: She might have liked it Buster: You are good Rio: Would you? Rio: Enough marks I'm never forgetting who I belong to Buster: Is she hot? Rio: Yeah, pretty cute Buster: I'm not sharing you for 'pretty cute' Rio: Well I'm sure she's more your type than mine Buster: You're my type Buster: If you don't want her, I don't Rio: I want you Rio: no one else registers Buster: Good Buster: 'Cause I need you. Nobody else Rio: You've got me Rio: it's different this time in every way Rio: just 'cos I'm going, I'm not gone Rio: whenever you need me Buster: Wherever too, yeah? Rio: Of course Rio: even if I could say no to you, got no desire to Buster: Baby Rio: That stil gets me weak Rio: how the fuck Rio: I read that in your voice Buster: Everything I do makes you weak, that's why Rio: yeah Rio: good thing you can be strong enough for the both of us then Buster: Not sure the hotel staff would agree when we broke the bed but I'll hold you up same as I did then Buster: You don't ever need to touch the floor when you're with me, babe, unless that's where we both want you Rio: That was so awkward Rio: just means we get to go to a new and better hotel next time though so Buster: For somewhere so old school the future didn't have much staying power Rio: That Freudian slip really tell me how it be Rio: won't get used to these heights, don't worry 😉 Buster: 😂 Buster: When I've also been dyslexic all this time Rio: 😏 Nancy gonna be so pissed Rio: don't take her struggle and overcome it, babe Buster: If anyone could Buster: I'm definitely not gay though so Rio: Don't be tryna 💔 that hard Buster: I can't, I promised Rio: Yeah Rio: and lbr, I could turn ya Rio: if anyone could Buster: I don't want any other girls but you that's as close as ever got Rio: They don't deserve you Rio: and they can't do you like I can Buster: I meant it when I said you're the best thing that's ever happened to me Buster: You just keep making that more & more true, like Rio: don't plan on stopping any time soon, don't you worry Buster: Don't stop Rio: I won't if you don't Buster: That's not gonna happen Rio: then never Buster: Rio Rio: Buster Buster: I read that in your voice & I can't fucking handle it Rio: I've not said anything as much as I've said your name Buster: Don't stop that either Buster: I love the way you say it Rio: Keep giving me reason to Buster: Easy Rio: Would be right now Rio: this seat is so big we could share Buster: & Everyone wears headphones so there'd be no need to stay that quiet Buster: All we'd need is a blanket Rio: Complimentary, of course Buster: Just like me. I'd be so nice to you, baby Buster: The entire flight Rio: All the way home, daddy? Buster: Of course Buster: I'll let you recover in the cab while carry your bags in & then come back for you Rio: I want that Rio: it's going to be so shit when I get off this plane and you ain't waiting for me the other end Buster: I won't let it be Rio: I'll be fine Rio: just miss you Buster: I've sent you a surprise, it'll be waiting for you to compensate for the fact I can't be Rio: You're so fucking nice Buster: You haven't opened it yet 😈 Buster: There are loads of things to remind you of me Rio: then that's still really fucking nice, no matter how 😈 everything is bound to be Rio: I'm excited Buster: Show me when you unwrap everything Buster: I wanna see your face Rio: Okay baby Rio: Indie better not open it 😂 Buster: I thought of that so I sent it to your mum & dad's Rio: So smart Rio: although I will now have to bullshit my way through a fake holiday with them Rio: but could be vaguely entertaining Buster: Okay so I didn't think that hard ahead Buster: But you'll be fine Rio: Yeah Rio: lowkey a turn-on 'cos whilst I'm selling them the lie, get to think of what we were actually doing Rio: so don't worry, babe Buster: I feel that, so many people have asked me if I'm feeling better Buster: The yeah's not even a lie but Rio: 😏 Rio: The shit you shouldn't do is always the most fun, just facts Rio: secrets are fun too Buster: Yeah Buster: That's why the party's are so wild here 'cause the drinking age is ridiculous Rio: Init Rio: you ain't even meant to be fucking Rio: America and it's morality Buster: The coke is great though Rio: 😂 Buster: Well, now I wanna go out Rio: I'm sure everyone's missed you Buster: Obviously Rio: You said you've earnt a break Buster: I took that, I gotta do more before I get another Rio: Don't let me distract you then, babe Buster: But that's what you do best Buster: Don't let me stop you Rio: Gotta priortize Rio: how you wanna play Buster: With you Buster: There's no contest Rio: then don't get completely off your face when I'm stuck in the air Rio: can't get on that level Buster: No brandy, I hear you Rio: mhmm Rio: you dumb Buster: Behave Rio: Not if you aren't Rio: no fair Buster: I won't do anything you don't want me to Rio: You can go Rio: not a buzzkill Buster: You've already proved that, you don't need to now Rio: Sorry Rio: I just turned my data back on and instantly regretted it Rio: that's the real comedown Buster: Tell me Rio: It's mostly just the mundane shit Rio: but loads from him obviously Rio: 'cos I told him I was going, so he wouldn't show up when Indie was home alone or something Rio: but clearly he took that as 'I wanna talk again' Buster: He didn't & Indie's alright, yeah? Rio: Yeah, I've been messaging her on socials, she's fine Rio: why I turned my data off, he's blocked everywhere but texts so Buster: Then give me his number, I'd love to talk to him Rio: I can't, he probably knows who you are Rio: he knows everything it's bizarre Buster: He'll know exactly who I am when I'm done Rio: Hot Rio: seriously, forget about him Rio: ain't giving him the attention he wants Buster: That'd be fine by me if he wasn't giving you attention you don't want Rio: I can handle that Buster: I know but you shouldn't have to Rio: It'll quiet down soon Rio: we all got crazy exes, those of us that do repeats anyway Rio: he'll get a new girl and I can get on with my life without him in the background, like Buster: If you say so, babe Buster: I trust you Rio: Good Rio: don't worry Buster: Don't make me Rio: I won't Rio: promise Rio: least the rest have let themselves be ghosted with dignity so that's something Buster: That don't mean don't tell me, you know, before you promise Buster: Ignorance ain't bliss Rio: I'll tell you if I need to, yeah Rio: trust, no one needs this play by play Buster: If you need to for any reason, not just if you need me to sort it Rio: I promise, okay Buster: Okay Rio: So, what do you reckon, is anyone here got enough clout that they looked the other way when checking their bags for bags Rio: I'm bored Buster: Probably Buster: They only care about terrorists Rio: Tell that to Drew, let him know, like Buster: Not until I've gone though Buster: Cheers Rio: don't wanna hit him up to soon Rio: I ain't looking to have a stomach full of crack tah Buster: Fair Buster: When I say you can do anything, not what I mean Rio: Not my aspiration in life, gotta be said Buster: At least the ones you do have will keep you busy until I'm done here Rio: Then what Buster: Then I'll keep you busy all summer Rio: Mm, sounds like a plan Buster: It is, babe. It's my plan Rio: Um, OURS Rio: 'scuse you Buster: Alright, ours Rio: Always trying to claim the best ideas Buster: Hit me with your best right now Buster: I dare you Rio: Answer this call Buster: [does obvs] Rio: [put on that facetime show but try and be quiet please] Buster: [we know that ain't gonna happen but at least don't be as loud as you could be] Rio: [getting kicked off the plane is not goals lol] Buster: [at least he can afford to buy her another flight but still probably don't] Rio: [just thinking of that gifset lol] Buster: [god bless] Rio: see Rio: full of good ideas Buster: You really are Buster: Fuck Rio: don't doubt me again, yeah Buster: Sorry babe, but if it means you'll be that inspired, I might have to Rio: Alright Rio: I don't hate proving you wrong, I guess Buster: Behave, I wasn't wrong Rio: 🙄 Rio: admit it, I have the best ideas Buster: You have good ideas, I never said you didn't Rio: You implied it Rio: you're mean 😏 Buster: You're into it Rio: Only sometimes Rio: the rest you gotta treat me like 👑 Buster: You ain't gotta tell me how to treat you. I know Rio: Yeah Rio: you're good Rio: 😇 Buster: No, you are. It's that simple Buster: I wanna give you what you deserve Rio: You deserve that too Buster: As long as I keep making sure I deserve you that's all that matters Rio: stop making me weak Buster: You're all I want, you already know that Rio: but I feel stupid how much I want you right now Buster: Don't Buster: It's not stupid Rio: It's just Rio: what if it all goes wrong again Buster: I told you, I'm not gonna let that happen Rio: You know, that'd be worse this time too Rio: and I just don't want that Rio: so we can't Buster: We won't Buster: I need you, Rio Rio: I need you Buster: You can trust me Rio: Okay Rio: I don't know how this happened Rio: but I know we have to roll with it Rio: the alternative doesn't work Buster: Yeah Buster: & I know I ain't the same cunt I was before this Buster: I don't wanna go back Rio: Me either Rio: so we won't Rio: easy Buster: I really miss you though, that ain't Rio: Yeah Rio: I never wanted to leave Buster: I didn't want you to. I still don't Buster: Come back Rio: I'll turn this plane 'round Rio: hold on Buster: If anyone could, babe Rio: If we'd have got caught earlier, maybe Rio: but you'd have to talk them out of that no-fly list, probably Buster: We can always go again Buster: I've got you Rio: How are we ever gonna get anything done Rio: when we're so distracted Buster: You've distracted me since we were kids Buster: Things get done 'cause they have to, like Buster: We'd be your ex if we didn't, that's all the motivation you need Rio: who needs the books or inspirational speeches Rio: ugh Buster: We're gonna do epic shit, me & you Rio: You know it, babe Rio: what choice do we have Buster: There's always a choice but we're making the right ones. End of Rio: can make the wrong ones sometimes though Rio: just for fun, like Buster: Stop making it really fucking hot, I'm trying to motivate you Rio: 😋 Rio: please motivate me Buster: Jesus Buster: I actually want you constantly Rio: I know Rio: no matter how deep you go or hard or whatever it's never enough you're so Rio: I can't be close enough to you Buster: If anyone else said that to me I'd have lost my shit in the total opposite way to how I am now Buster: Do you know how fucking special you are to me? Can I ever explain, like Rio: 'Cos you feel it too Rio: you know exactly what I mean Rio: I just want you, in all aspects of my life Rio: nothing else is interesting to me now Buster: I feel emotional, shut up Rio: That's what I was saying Rio: weak Rio: idk, don't planes make some people emotional Buster: I'm not on a plane & I can't be weak Rio: Yeah you can Rio: who am I telling, and what Rio: you can be whatever you need with me Buster: Can I? Rio: Yeah Rio: of course Rio: I want you to Buster: I've just never Buster: Felt this, done this Buster: Any of it Rio: It's different from anything I've ever experienced too Rio: but you know Rio: I can be strong for you too Rio: I don't want you to think it's one way Rio: another stress Buster: I don't think that Buster: I know how strong you are Rio: Good Rio: you can trust me too, okay Buster: I do Rio: Ugh Rio: fuck Rio: I miss you Buster: Seriously, come back Buster: We got away with it, we can again Rio: I'll lose my job Rio: you'll lose all that cash Buster: I'll get you a new job Buster: When you want it Rio: 😏 how are you gonna do that then Buster: I live in Dublin too, I know people Rio: I thought you were motivating me Rio: not being a bad influence 😈 Buster: I'm motivating you get what you really want Buster: Me Rio: Baby Buster: Please Rio: You know it's exactly what I want too Rio: but we can't Buster: Nobody can stop us, except us, & why should we if that's not what we want Rio: 'cos you've gotta focus on school whilst you're there Rio: and I've got stuff here that I've gotta do too Buster: This school requires no focus, compared to the one back home it's like nursery Buster: I know you're worried about Indie but it ain't your job to raise her Rio: but someone has to Rio: you know he can't Rio: don't Buster: Let your parents then Buster: They want to Rio: They clearly have a great handle on the kids they have Rio: not like their 16 year old has just been...where, with who? Rio: it's not that simple Rio: never has been, sad but true Buster: Come on, that's different, we're not kids Rio: I wanna say yes but I don't wanna break a promise either Buster: I know, it's okay Buster: I'm not trying to put pressure on, like, I am but only 'cause you should be making choices for you Buster: Like you said, you're 16, we ain't kids but you ain't gotta live like you're 36 Buster: What about Drew's sister, can't she help? Rio: I can never just make choices for me though Rio: she's already upset I left, and all the other kids act like I ditched them becaused I moved out already Rio: like it or not, that's how it is for me Rio: she does, but Indie is Rio: hard to manage, like Buster: Forget I said anything Buster: It's only a couple of months now anyway Buster: I'm being unfair Rio: You aren't Rio: it is what I want Rio: and I want you to be happy too Rio: but we got some shit we just gotta do, yeah Buster: Yeah Buster: That's life Rio: Mhmm Rio: stupid real life Buster: It's a shame we can't bring Indie here, she'd love it, like Rio: Seriously Rio: she'd have no issue saying yes Buster: She might have an issue with me & you but who won't Rio: Well yeah Rio: that's a whole other subject Rio: she's easily distracted but probably not that much Buster: Even your little brothers ain't that out of it Rio: no, they ain't Rio: that's gonna be harder too now Rio: being around everyone Buster: Yeah Buster: It's fucked Rio: We can do it Rio: we'll have to but Buster: At least it's always been like that for me, I'm sorry I brought you there too with yours Rio: What do you mean Buster: Your fam love you & shit Buster: You know Rio: Yeah Rio: yours do too though Rio: not me, though sure, everyone does Buster: It's not the same Rio: no, true Rio: it's not like my family is idylic Rio: everyone's got their shit Buster: 'Course Rio: I'm saying, I was already there Rio: you ain't done anything, so don't need to apologize Buster: I've done loads to you over the last few days but sure Buster: Not sorry for any of that Rio: 😏 definitely don't be Rio: I'm not Rio: even if it is a shame I can't tell anyone just how good it was Buster: You can Buster: Just think up a new boyfriend that you just have to come back & see ASAP Rio: Okay Rio: but they ain't gonna KNOW the level 'cos they won't know it's you Rio: have to keep that my secret, like Buster: Secrets turn you on, there's no denying it Rio: You turn me on Rio: it's total coincidence Buster: Yeah? Rio: I mean, yeah, it's seriously hot 'cos you're off-limits but I think I'd still want you if you weren't Rio: don't you think? Buster: Obviously I would Buster: Look at you Rio: 😋 Rio: exactly Rio: just a bonus who you are Rio: don't see me trying to get on any of my other cousins like, ew Buster: You're funny Rio: Does that mean you really don't think I am or Buster: It means you're making me laugh Buster: Maybe I'm just fucking hysterical still but Rio: awh Rio: I love your laugh Buster: Don't take the piss Rio: I'm not Rio: I'm sad I can't hear it Buster: Don't be sad either Rio: I'll try Buster: Try for me, baby Rio: 🤤 Buster: I'm in a state, why did I go out? Rio: For the coke, mostly Rio: you gone? Buster: I don't feel here Buster: But maybe that's 'cause you aren't Rio: Babe Rio: What do you need, what can I do? Buster: I'm alright Buster: Have to be Rio: You don't have to Rio: but if you're gonna be a mess be safe Buster: I don't wanna be a mess Rio: 'course not Rio: but sometimes we all have to be that too, like Buster: I can't Buster: You said it shouldn't be conditional, but it is Buster: When I fuck up they stop caring about me Rio: They still care it's just they don't show it in the right way 'cos they're disappointed Rio: it's still something, even if it feels like shit Buster: Bullshit. Nance is more than disappointed for one Rio: Well that's different with her Rio: stuff happened you'll have to agree to forget or talk about Buster: Don't hate me again, okay? Ever Rio: I never did, not really Rio: but I'm not going either, alright Buster: Yeah, don't Buster: There's nobody here that's Rio: That's what? Buster: It just feels like there's no one here but me Rio: You're just far away Rio: from real people Rio: and people who really know you Rio: but you're okay, I've got you Buster: I don't want that anymore Rio: What do you want? Buster: Things that are real Rio: Let's make that happen then Rio: we'll find real things for you Buster: You're real for me though Rio: Yeah Rio: Just 'cos we have to be apart for a bit, doesn't mean it's gotta be how it's always been Rio: I can talk to you all the time, be so annoying, I swear Buster: You're so cute, I swear Rio: Shh Rio: you Buster: No, 'cause you are & you don't know Rio: You're so sweet to me Buster: Not as sweet as I wanna be Buster: I don't know how to do that Rio: Well I like you Rio: I can always teach you Buster: You never did teach me how to kiss so Rio: You still want lessons, baby? Buster: Don't tell me I need 'em Rio: I don't think so but you sound like you're still bitter about it Rio: plenty other things I can show you Buster: Bitter ain't the word, don't worry Rio: Kid didn't stick around to dare us to try again, like Buster: He wanted your first kiss that's why Buster: Didn't reckon on me having it Rio: I'm glad it was you Rio: not gonna forget your name, like Buster: 😂 Rio: Serious Rio: got enough regrets since Buster: They'll motivate you if I can't Rio: you reckon Buster: 'Course Buster: Gotta keep doing better Rio: Yeah Rio: 'til what? Rio: what's the end goal? Buster: It's never over, you can always improve from where you were or get somewhere else you wanna be Rio: I guess so Buster: You calling bullshit? Rio: Nah Rio: Just thinking Buster: What? Rio: Just about what I want Rio: what I don't Buster: If you're about to dump me, you've really picked your moment, babe Rio: Shut up Rio: no Buster: Like cheers for letting me have these last few days first but Rio: 😂 Rio: Stop Rio: like you're getting off that easy Buster: You know you can get me off very easy, that's why I want you to stay Rio: 😏 Rio: touche Rio: and works for me Buster: Works on you too, everything I do for you Rio: You know you make me feel good, baby Buster: Better than good Rio: Yes Rio: happy Buster: You make me feel happy too Rio: Good, that's all I want Buster: Nothing else? Are you sure? Rio: Well Rio: if you're offering Buster: I am Buster: What do you want? Rio: Just you Rio: and you and more you Buster: I told you, you're fucking cute Rio: I just like you Buster: You're making me blush Rio: You're making me miss you so fucking much Rio: the cutest Buster: [sends pics of his cute face] Rio: 😍 Rio: you're unreal Rio: and mine Buster: I wanna kiss you so badly right now Buster: All these girls here & none of them are you Rio: It's so rude and unfair Rio: your lips are so soft Buster: I'm not gonna stop there Buster: Your skin is flawless Buster: My mouth needs to be on all of it Rio: Are you gonna be gentle? Buster: At first Rio: Buster Buster: I just like you too Rio: I know Rio: Be back soon Rio: okay Buster: Okay Rio: We're gonna have the best summer Buster: I promise Rio: 😊 Rio: we should go away somewhere else Buster: Where do you wanna go? Rio: Hmm Rio: anywhere hot Rio: the less clothes you need the better Buster: Fine, I admit you have the best ideas Rio: 😏 Rio: THANK YOU Buster: Don't shout at me Buster: So rude Rio: How could I Rio: being 'round you, making me forget my manners, I reckon Buster: You've gotta be a good girl Buster: Angelic like Buster: Who else is gonna balance me out Rio: Only for you Rio: 'cos you ask so nice Buster: Yeah, nobody else Buster: You're my baby, not theirs Rio: I'm so ridiculously yours Rio: I don't need nobody else Rio: or nothing Buster: I'll make sure you don't Buster: Give you everything Rio: I know you will Rio: you do Buster: Tell me I can get on a plane too & meet you there Rio: Is this a test Rio: of how good I am Rio: 'cos 😩 Buster: It's just what I want Rio: Me too Rio: you're fucking addictive Rio: actually Rio: sounds so cringe for how real it feels Buster: I can't tell anyone even if you said the most embarrassing shit ever uttered Buster: But that's not Buster: It's accurate Rio: Keep it in mind Rio: I still fucking feel you but not enough Rio: just aches Buster: Me too Rio: No matter how many times I make myself cum, I'm still craving you Buster: That's the hottest thing & also exactly how I feel Rio: Kinda never want this plane to land Rio: unless it's back with you, obviously Rio: real life is the worst Buster: If you don't land you can't open your present though Rio: that's true Rio: I should probably sleep but I don't wanna Buster: Dream about me Buster: That was real life too & it was the best Rio: I like sleeping with you Buster: Get on the phone, I'll tell you a story Rio: If you get any more daddy you're actually gonna have to put a kid in me Rio: warning you, like Buster: I'm keeping up with you, going home to be such a MILF Rio: 😂 Rio: you're just too fucking hot Rio: it's dangerous Buster: Don't worry baby, I'll keep you safe Rio: Stop Rio: or Imma come back and fuck up your whole life Rio: 😏 Buster: Come back & be my whole life Rio: 😍 Rio: I swear to GOD, boy Buster: Swear to me, you know you want to Rio: Fuck Rio: just fuck me Rio: fuck my whole life Buster: [calls her so he can sorry everyone] Rio: [either making this flight very interesting or very long for everyone else lmao] Buster: [at least she's not in business class that's just pervy men but she could've got that promo tho] Rio: [pass a bowl round] Buster: [lol imagine] Rio: [better leave this ‘fore an ily slip]

[helloandwelcometomariasblog]

Review #91: Sister

Written by Xiaoying You, Directed by Ruoxin Yin

Sister immediately caught my attention for two reasons: It's an Asian film, and it's about family. After watching the trailer, I knew I had to go see it at the cinemas. There seemed to be aspects of it that I really liked - family members unable to love each other with nobody specific to blame. I really wanted to know how the characters would resolve that. And so I went to see it.

I was disappointed and not invested maybe a third of the film. I was slowly won over during two-thirds of the film, then by the end, I was bawling. Really. And the film remained with me for a while after that too.

The reason I wasn't invested at first was, I think, pretty simple. The main character was such a biatch. Yes, I understood her - she had enough reasons to be that biatch, but nobody actually wants to see the main character really be one. We could all see why she hated her brother and why she felt she wasn't responsible. We could all see that she wasn't loved as much as her brother was while her parents were alive. We could all see that her family members were also inconsiderate, pushing her to take care of her little brother despite the abuse she herself had gone through. We could also see that her brother was being a pain from time to time, and that she had her own life and her own plans - she was smart and wanted to be a doctor and also get married to her long-term boyfriend.

BUT. But despite all that, the second most important character is a little boy. A child. Moreover, he's a child who has just lost both parents. He doesn't even know what death means, what grief means, and here he is thrown around like a soccer ball, from heartless person to heartless person. And nobody wants to keep him. I just couldn't empathize with the main character when here was a child who was being forced to live through grief and constant abandonment by himself. Like what the fuck? Maybe I was even more angry because I have a little brother with around the same age difference. I don't think I could ever give my brother up to adoption regardless of whatever happened between me and my parents. Hating parents is one thing, abandoning a child is another.

Also, that child just went through something incredibly traumatic that even adults struggle with. Of course he needs more care and attention during this time. But he doesn't get it (in fact he gets the exact opposite, right in front of his face) and you're surprised and angry that he's acting out? That's his way of crying out for help. And what does the sister do? Become a biatch, that's what.

I just honestly could not empathize with her. And this lack of empathy and relatability made it initially very hard to become immersed in the film. I constantly found myself empathizing with the little brother instead and feeling really sorry for him. It really didn't help that he was a child. Children already have the image of being helpless and weak, and the film put that child in an even more vulnerable situation with a sister who literally wants to abandon him and overtly hates him. Like, come on.

This sister slowly starts changing as the film progresses. It's true that the beginning of the film may have been more realistic than others. The sister had issues she had to resolve within herself and the film may have just shown that in the most dirtiest and realest way possible, with no sugar coating. If that's what the film intended, I gotta say it succeeded. I'm just glad I stuck with it because it was incredibly cathartic seeing the sister heal herself as the film goes on. It surely doesn't happen immediately though, which I loved. It took quite a long time (which is probably why the film is over two hours long), but it was time well-spent, and more realistic too.

The sister goes back and forth many times, but that makes it even more real. There are moments when she advocates for her brother and takes care of him, and then the next moment she's back to wanting her own life and giving him up to adoption. The back-and-forth movements become more and more dramatic as time goes on, and the sister finds it harder and harder to emotionally detach herself from her brother. The film does all of this gradually, which is one of its strongest points. It reflects real life better.

A standout scene for me is when the sister goes to visit her brother after sitting her exams, and she finds her brother playing mahjong with a damn cigarette tucked behind his ear. I honestly gasped at that scene, and would have reacted exactly the same way the sister did - yell and scream at the uncle and drag little brother out of there. We're then led to a really heartwarming scene where the sister bathes her brother at the apartment during golden hour, sunlight pouring through the glass. I'm trying to remember the dialogue during that scene. I'm sure it was something really warm.

What I also loved was how, even after this heartwarming scene, the sister still decides to leave to Beijing. It felt way more realistic than some other family movies where it doesn't take much for the person to give up their desires for the younger being. It's shown during another standout scene where the siblings lie in bed, having a talk before going to sleep. The little brother asks her if she still wants to go to Beijing and why. The sister answers honestly and we can all tell that she really dreams of this life that she's planned out. The sad thing is that the brother is included in that 'we'. I didn't know during that scene, but in the following scenes, I realised that he understood exactly what his sister wanted.

It was really crazy how the little brother left his sister on his own accord and gave himself up to adoption just so his sister could pursue her dreams. As much as I loved that beat, I found myself seriously wondering: is that realistic? That a six year old boy would be that deeply sacrificial? He's probably the most sacrificial and loving character in the film, even more than his sister. It was a great beat though, one of the best in the movie. It was heartbreaking seeing him cry, unable to tell his sister why he chose to leave her. It was like a drama scene where one of the leads forces themselves to leave their partner and be all noble and sacrificial. Still not sure if it's realistic for a six year old to do that though. It's kind of sad even thinking of it. A child doing something even most adults wouldn't do. The brother really had to grow up and mature at a super young age. It's sad. I wonder what kind of teenager and adult he will be in the future. I hope he gets to resolve the hurts inside of him too as he grows up.

And so the sister actually buys the ticket for Beijing and prepares to leave. Again, I loved this. I loved how the film took us till the very end of the end before resolving things. The film really made us believe the sister would leave. And to be honest, I understood her and didn't blame her for deciding to pursue her dreams. I sat there wondering how they would actually resolve things. The ending scene is definitely one of my favourites, maybe even the favourite. I loved how the sister was given an ultimatum: you can leave, but if you leave, you've gotta sign the paper to say you'll never come to see your brother ever again. It was a great choice. There was so much at risk on both sides. It was a moment where I genuinely wasn't sure what she would do - I knew she loved both her brother and her dream and held both of them dearly. Both of them were precious.

I held my breath when she hesitated, pen hovering over the paper. Then she throws the pen down and runs out to her brother, and when her little brother turns to her, his eyes are full of tears. My heart. My heart. My damn heart! I bawled there, the tears just flowed. The brother had been pretending to be okay and holding all tears back, thinking that his sister would feel bad if she saw him cry and she'd give up her dreams. That's just too much for a six year old, I swear. He finally lets it out when he knows she still wants and loves him. That was both incredibly painful and cathartic to watch. What an amazing climax and resolution.

I also liked how the sister resolved her own deep issues before finally going back to her brother. I believe it's shown in the scene where she visits her parents' grave on the rainy day and cries to them. There was a hint of the start of her healing when she cries and lets out her honest feelings during night in front of her parents' pictures. The rainy day she rips the paper and is again honest to her parents' grave, is a great scene. I also loved the part where she comes down the stairs, and it's a long shot with rainwater flooding down the steps like a beautiful waterfall. It made me want to film something like that in the future. Felt like things were being washed away.

So yes, I started off not liking the film because of how unlikable the main character was (they're allowed to have negative qualities, but I honestly believe there needs to be something that makes the audience identify with them or empathize with them, just something that makes the audience root for them) and her treatment of her brother. I know it was done that way to show her gradual change, but I still do think it could have been done a little differently. Because, even with her treatment of her brother aside, I didn't really like her as a person and had trouble understanding her. She seemed really tantrum-ey at points. But as the film went on, I warmed up to her and the gradual change took place. She was still herself with her own desires even while growing to love her brother, which I loved. She learned to balance things out, and I hope she continued to pursue her dreams even without going to Beijing, with her brother by her side.

I find that this film presented a different image of 'sacrifice', and that it was saying that different image was okay too. You don't have to fully give yourself up for someone. You can still have your own life and that's okay. By the end, none of her family members guilt-trip her about looking after her brother, which I really liked. It's pretty rare for Asian families to not do that guilt-tripping thing. But her aunt did it. Her aunt, who seemed to be the most guilt-tripping person, let her go in the end and told her that it was okay, that not everyone fits that image of sacrifice perfectly, like the Russian dolls. I think that actually enabled the sister to go back to her brother later on. Sometimes you have to let people go to get them back.

[miraimisu]

Can I request 83, 52, 38 or 18 (I'm in angsty mood for some reason). If you don't feel like writing angst today then maybe something from: 3, 4, 85 or 60. Since i'm writing this I might as well say that I loooooove your writing and I hope you have an amazing day!

What the fuck, why would I ever reject an angsty prompt? I am the angst duchess and fuck my life if I cant live to write sad, heartbreaking thingies. Or at least I try? And thanks for the kudos, I don’t know how do I deserve all of this when you guys deserve all the credit. I love this fandom so much.This prompt was a bit hard tho, and it turned out kinda short?… I just hope it lives up to your expectations ♥ Gonna make #18 for forbidden love shit.

Uraraka was no commoner. Uraraka Ochako was all but your regular friend that helps you with your bags and books– even if she possibly would help out with these matters, she was all but your normal stand-by friend.

Everyone knew that. If one took the opportunity to know her, they would see her true colors behind those common eyes that shone with unhidden curiosity and enthusiasm. It was hard for one to squeeze air out of her, and sometimes, even get a true emotion out of her.

Bakugou knew this, out of all people. Of course the pyro genius would see her for her true colors and not the ones she wore in front of everyone. He would notice when her hands trembled a little when laughing, a sign of feigning stupid glittery glee– he hated it. He hated her, sometimes. The way she sparkled while her heart trembled with the weight of a little lie that would later tie her down to her bed in a night of endless cries.

She could see right through him, too– and he was, somehow, perfectly fine with that. If someone could see the good in him, that would only be her and that stupid redhead he had for best friend. Kirishima was one of the very few people who could stand his random fits of anger, but Uraraka… that bitch. She was too good for her own good. Always hugging people, always smiling and–

He grasped his desk in agitation. She was always by that bastard’s side and it drove him up the wall.

Uraraka didn’t know this, of course. Whenever she was cheering her friend up, Bakugou would let out a good old colorful piece of goodness, but she deemed it to be in his nature. He was aggresive, a bit of a jerk, but it was him after all.

And somehow, there was a moment in time and space– like, two days ago in the middle of an encounter with him, when something shifted in her heart.

This spar had been anything but planned beforehand. Uraraka had seen him going for a walk in his training clothes and the idea sparked in her. She had ran to him inmediately with the objective of touching his shoulder, surprising him, and making him go weightless– of course, we are talking about Uraraka and she couldn’t do sneaky.

She had coughed just before reaching his skin, what prompted a big curse out of him and made him blow her away out of instinct. She landed a few meters behind him and when he realized it was her who had tried to, in his eyes, probably annoy the shit out of him– he at first scoffed at her futile attempt of a sneaky stance and helped her to her feet.

“What the fuck, Uraraka.” and he swung her arm around his shoulder, no petition needed. “Your leg is still peachy and you are planning surprise attacks on me? You must be a sucker for pain.”

“What… are you doing?” asked she, letting herself be dragged to wherever he wanted to drop her. It was true that planning such risky thing was reckless from her considering what a bad beating Iida had given her the previous day.

Oh, his face when he had seen her so beaten up. He had been apologizing while punching death into her.

Bakugou grunted beside her. “I’m taking you to a damn infirmary. I have burnt your left arm and honestly, every one will give me the stinky eye if they get to know I almost blew your ass up.”

Because everyone loved Uraraka, even his best friend. And he knew damn well that Kirishima would give him a good piece of mind if he came to find out that he had been the one to injure her. He would never mention, but he also felt a bit bad for harming her without a reason but stupid instinct.

Why did she… matter so much? She was just a damn pebble. How was he going to focus on his career when Bakugou had this woman by his side constantly hogging him to make nice with Deku so that bastard would be happy?

Bakugou had many reasons to make that boy’s life miserable: 1) he was a bragger, 2) he was a loser, and most recently 3) he had Uraraka’s undivided attention– he had his best battle buddy’s attention and again, it was driving him insane. So he walked to the infirmary with the intention of dropping her there and pretending nothing happened, because he was starting to be fed up with her and those butterflies she carried around her.

Why did she have to always come by and mess with his life?

He hated that feeling. He hated feeling like he needed to protect her when all he should be doing is focus on himself and– god, she was too in love with Deku, what good would it do to him to develop a silly crush on her and– at this point, when he came to terms with his feelings, he was a blushing mess and wanted to blow up the whole school.

Worst of it all, those silly summersaults his stomach did when she was near had been there for way too long before this realization and he felt it dawning on him, crushing him alive. There was no turning back now.

Uraraka didn’t let it pass, though. When Bakugou eventually and literally dropped her in a hospital bed, something stirred inside of her, making her heart warm in a pleasant manner. When he left her wordlessly to Recovery Girl’s aid, she smiled at him knowingly. Kirishima truly had had a gooD effect on him– and the thought carried her through the day, but as soon as Deku came into view, he had all her attention again.

Her heart still fluttered after the newfound kindness Bakugou had in him. And something changed that day. She would realize this change too late.

When Bakugou saw her laughing along with Deku, he started biting his knuckles. The feeling that bubbled in his chest squirmed uncomfortably, the very same feeling that had him wide awake all night after dropping roundface at the infirmary. A part of him told him that he had been rude as fuck for letting her on her own after almost setting her on fire, and another part told him that he had been stupid for almost setting her ablaze to start with.

No matter what he tried to come up with, he had made a mistake. He had made a mistake for allowing himself near her, for having left her at the infirmary bed when what he should have done is just leave her in the dust to tend her own injuries.

So he sucked it up and, as soon as class was finished, Bakugou waited for her to come out of class. Whatever he was feeling for her, for that strong and small stupid pebble he couldn’t step upon– all that was ending as soon as he set things clear with her.

He knew she would never pull away from green bastard, and he was aware of the fact that he couldn’t force her to stay away from him. He could hope for her to grow up from his fucking shadow, but he wasn’t scum and would never force her out of it. Whatever made her happy was fine for him. People he respected deserved their space and, albeit reluctantly, he would give it all to her.

She stepped out of class alone, always the slowest one to pack her stuff– her jump when he came into view was fucking hilarious. “What are you doing there, Baku–”

“Your injuries,” spat he, stepping near to her. Her proximity felt wrong and sinful to him when she was too far from reach, but he stil invaded her injuries til she was against a wall. “let me see them.”

Uraraka blinked at him once, twice, but didn’t flinch at his agressivity, unfazed as she always was by his forward demeanor. Her eyes wide as saucers for his intoxicating permating sweaty and riany spark, he let himself fall into the galaxies of her pools, and almost forgot what all this mess was about until he saw her remove her jacket and show him her reddened arm.

“It’s patched up and in good condition. You at least had the decency to take to Recovery Girl.”

He looked to his side, and his voice sounded remorseful for a second, connecting with all the thoughts that had rattled inside his head during the previous night. “It was my fault in the first place.”

“Are you… apologizing?”

“Hell no, you damn woman.” growled he, his scarlet glare boring into her purity once again. “You shouldn’t have tried to sneak up on me when you know I can damn well tear you to pieces.”

Uraraka, far from offended, giggled at his brash retort. Her breath got stuck in her chest as beams of sunset streaked through his golden locks, and she had this silly urge to thread her fingers through them. She ended up deciding against it because she appreciated her life.

“Is there anything else you need?”

He looked at her even more intensely. There was a moment in which she noticed how she had changed in his eyes, but knew she remained the same for everyone. The colors she wore had turned scarlet, adorning her cheeks and inking her in desire and passion for that woman he would worship in the darkness as long as he lived, because he knew that sunlight wouldn’t let him speak out his secret devotion– not when she loved somebody else.

She loved Deku. She loved a quirkless bastard and not him, the great Bakugou Katsuki. And he was dying to know why.

So his hands trailed up her arm to end up gripping her jaw, her head crashing against the concrete. “Why him?”

Her cheeks muffled by his rough hands and chords malfunctioning due to the embers of his eyes, passion and anger– it all reduced her to ashes and suddenly, she couldn’t muster a decent answer. Mostly because a part of her didn’t know what he wastalking about while the other pretty much could see in his eyes what this was about. The notion just left her speechless and a mess of goo in the ground.

His flames kissed the chocolate of her irises– and boy, didn’t chocolate melt good and pretty against heat.

His mouth came devastating hers in a helfire kiss,as his hands tried their best not to roam around her body– one that didn’t belong to him, staying put on the wall so she wouldn’t escape– because of course she was shaking, probably fearful, needing to pull away. The way his mouth was twisting hers in such burning embrace, embers of passion consuming her thoughts and rationalities– but she didn’t want this.It was all sorts of alluring and deliciously wrong. His teeth trapping her lower lip, trying to recover all dominance on the kiss, eliciting a throaty moan from her– he opened his eyes for a second, frustrated, and yearning to hear more of that. She attempted to pull way, her hands fighting against his chest to stop his sudden rampage, earning her a head crash against the wall as Bakugou only pushed her in.His hands travelled all the way to her neck and waist, nails digging in her skin– oh, her gasp, that may have hurt a little. He took the opportunity to come crashing to her mouth, his tongue entangling with hers while she wiggled in his hold, trying to either get away or hold herself in. And none of those things were gonna happen.

There was a moment when he felt her give in a little. Her pushing became less frantic, the haltered, and her eyes shut completely close–

But he couldn’t– couldn’t let a good kiss get the best of him and build illusions on an impossible relationship. He couldn’t keep this up when she was in love with another man. He gave her waist a little push and disconnected the sickingly euphoric lock, a trail of saliva connecting them. 

He caressed her lower lip with his thumb as softly as he could, frown adorning his chaotic features, irises trembling as she stared at him, unbelieving.

He wasn’t the man for her. He breathed deep, then stepped back, their bodies missing each other– but this was wrong.

“I shouldn’t love you.” murmured he, making her features constrict into a painful grimace of realization. “But I fucking do and I’m scared shitless.”

He would die to hold her as she shook and almost fell, would love to possess her against the very same wall and make her forget about Deku. However, he wasn’t scum, and he couldn’t let her make him drop so low.

She didn’t deserve the pain he carried with him, or his falling hopes. So he marched away, shoulders tense in realization.

Bakugou saw the true colors in her, and she would always see his and cherish them as a precious treasure. But his colors weren’t the ones she was searching for, or the ones she dreamed and sighed for.

And no matter how blaring and blinding her colors were, he couldn’t let them paralyze him. No matter the heartbreak, he did what he deemed to be right– not knowing he had left a dounting girl at his wake, who realized now why his kindness had struck her so much.

He walked away. And this was the first time Bakugou realized he was human and couldn’t be more than that, no matter how much he loved her.