#i'm sorry for being so long winded THIS IS WHY I CANT WRITE SHORT FICS EITHER BESTIES

[fabbyf1]

Are you still responding on comments at AO3?

Besties, 

I want to talk about something that makes me uncomfortable. I hope you’ll allow me to speak my mind, hear what I’m saying, and not jump to any conclusions. Please don’t read any further into this than what it’s actually about. 

I want to talk about comments on AO3. 

Comments on AO3 are so fucking important. If you’ve ever published something on AO3, you know how incredibly special they are. Writing is such a long, lonely process that we all do for free. We challenge ourselves to be creative and to produce content that we want to see in the world. We take time away from our own lives and responsibility to do something that we love to do. 

And sometimes, if you’re lucky, you’ll build up a little following of people that enjoy your stuff. People who will read your fics religiously, even if it’s not something they would have previously clicked on. And that, my friends, is an insane feeling of validation. It’s something I’ve never experienced before, even though I’ve been writing since I was 12. 

F1 RPF is such a special place to be. 

Having you all back me and support me is insane. I love it so much. The fact you have such faith in my writing that you’ll click on a fic and go into it with an open mind simply because I wrote it is mind-blowing to me. I never want that to change, and I never want you all to feel like I’m immune or numb to that. I am so incredibly thankful for your support. 

I’ll never be able to find the words to express how much joy I get from posting a fic and seeing you all freak out over it. It makes it worthwhile. It inspires me to keep going. It builds my confidence and helps me continue to take time out of my personal life to write these things, knowing that I’m not just doing it for myself anymore. 

But that’s where the tricky part comes in, and I’m not sure how to talk about it without sounding like a whining little bitch. I don’t want you to think I’m telling you how to praise me. I never want you to think I’m taking feedback, comments, or praise for granted because I promise you I’m not. 

I still cry and gag and scream over every single comment I receive, no matter how long or short the comment is. I screenshot them and send them off rapid-fire to my little group of besties so that we can all cry over them together. 

But I think it’s important we keep it on the right platform. 

Very recently, I have stopped responding to comments on AO3. It wasn’t an easy decision for me, and I cried actual real-life tears about it because I didn’t want anyone to hate me or think I was a rude, self-absorbed lil bitch. 

Up until this week, I was religiously responding to every single comment I received. Because I wanted you all to know how much they meant to me. But I’ve reached a certain point now where it’s taking too much time out of my day to respond to them all when I feel like I could be using that time for better things. Like producing more content for you. 

But I’ve noticed, particularly this last week since I stopped responding on AO3, that my Tumblr inbox is suddenly full of AO3 comments. I can’t help but think it’s because I still respond to (almost) every Tumblr ask I get but have opted out of responding on AO3. And if that’s the case, I totally get it. Because interaction is important, and we all enjoy talking to each other! 

I don’t want anybody to think I’m asking you not to interact with me. 

I fucking love talking to you guys. You all make me laugh, and cry, and gag, and scream and panic-pace around my apartment with some of our conversations. I never want you to stop sliding into my dm’s or sliding into my asks, on anon or off anon, to scream about things with me. 

But what I’m asking... is that you also leave a comment on AO3. If you only have the time or desire to write on one platform... please make it AO3. Come to my tumblr to talk to me, Kate, about anything you want. Or, copy and paste the AO3 comment into my tumblr ask so I can repost it for everyone to see. But I’d ask that you not skip the AO3 comments to post on my tumblr instead. Because... they belong on AO3. 

I’m so incredibly honored that you would take the time out of your day to leave me a comment (of any size). Seeing them on any platform brings me so much joy, but I think they belong on AO3. Whenever I’m feeling sad or down, I’ll go reread the comments on my AO3 fics. If they’re split between two platforms, comments are more likely to get lost in the mix, and that makes me so sad to think about because I want to reread them. 

Because you took the time to tell me something nice. 

Also... stats matter. And I hope you don’t think I’m being cocky or entitled when I say that. But comments, kudos, and views matter. It’s how your fics get more traction and more attention and how you widen your audience. Stats are an awkward thing to talk about, especially for me, but they really do matter. 

I hope you all can understand where I’m coming from. 

And I truly hope you don’t think I’m complaining or trying to dictate when and how you should praise me. Because I promise you that is not my intention. I’m just... a real person behind a screen, with real feelings and real emotions. I love you all so much, and I’ll never stop crying about how loved and special you all make me feel. 

Thank you for listening, besties. 

[tl;dr I think AO3 comments should stay on AO3, and not go into Tumblr asks. Please don't hate me.]

[bloodcoverdbody]

Let Me Save You

OK so from my last post explains the concept of the story a little better but I know y'all aren't gonna read it so imma tell you here. Ok.. so this is my first ever fic and I am a tad nervous and I do have dyslexia so writing can be difficult for me so just bear with me please, but with that being said there are some TW bc I am kinda writing this to reflect my life so there are drug use, grooming, SH, ED, mental illness, a slight mention of SA and there might be more I just can't think of it right now. I am going to make Sal cannon as possible and ofc there will be freakiness bc why would not put that in a book. Y/N will have descriptions of me but you can change it if you would like! Oh and this first chapter is kind of like backstory or whatever. I have to get lore out ok guys CHILL! With that being said, lets GOOOOO!!!!

Chapter One

Why. Why me

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It happened , finally, he did what he was threatening about all this time. He had kicked you out, outside in the cold at 10 o'clock ish. Your body trembling from emotion and the cold breeze on your skin. Just sitting there on the grass with the wind blowing your hair and sound through the trees. A million thoughts running through your head at the speed of light. Then it hit you like a wave, this is it, where do I go?Head falls into your hands as tears well up in your eyes again. Before you could shed another tear your phone buzzed. It's your mom, quickly grabbing your phone from the cold grass to press the green button to pick up the call.

"Y/N I'm on my way, were taking you back home" she said with sadness and anger mixed in her voice.

"Thank you mamma" you manage to say through shivers and sobs.

"It's ok baby, i'm right down the street....just.... wait for me....please"

She knew your past, multiple trips to the hospital, the deep white scars on your thighs and wrist, hiding sharp things and medicine. She knew what you were thinking and it scared her.

A few moments passed and she runs out the car to grab you tightly. The emotion was to much and another wave of tears made there way to your eyes, but this wave was different. The feeling of doom washes over, making your body run even colder than you already were. All the air left your lungs as she holds you tighter.

"Y/N I'm sorry, so sorry" she breathed out. Another pair of arms wrapped around your body. It was your stepdad who has been there since the beginning, before moving out to live with your abusive and narcissistic father. His larger body held you and your mother closer together. The heartbeat in your chest soothed through the comfort of your parents who you shouldn't have left. They were right but your father made it seem so nice to live with him oh how wrong you were.

After a long embrace they led you to their car and sat you down with the heater on full blast. Warmth wrapping around you like a blanket.

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"So Y/N, we moved to a new town. It is a small town as always because we are in the military but I think you will love it there." She speaks with so much joy and hope.

Your stepdad tunes in," yea Y/N, It is a small town called Nockfell and your sisters love it there, we already signed you up for school. Your set to start as soon as you want" he looks over his shoulder and smiles.

"But mom, what about my things, and my lizard, I cant lose my bearded dragon she is my baby" already missing your pet lizard. Her name was Baby Dragon or BD for short. You have had her since before your father and stepmom divorced. She was your world, you needed her.

"Don't worry, we will comeback next week and gather your things. Your father already said that he has half of your stuff in boxes"

Shocker, he was so eager to get you out of the house. Ever since the divorce, him and the rest of your family blamed you. It really hurt when I wasn't even the one married in the first place. He got himself a new girl in a span of two months and ever since he had no interest in you other than to nitpick and complain about everything you did, say, what you wear, eat. It was tiring. So many sleepless nights sobbing into your pillow, showers that burned, red stained pants from wounds opening, gaining so much weight that you didn't even see yourself anymore. Your hair was dead and skin littered with acne and paleness. You hated yourself in every way, you just wanted to disappear. You and your father had gotten into a huge fight because you pushed his boundaries because he did that to you. It was always constant, day to night. It got to the point you just lost yourself to any drug you could get your hands on. If it could make you forget you took it with no hesitation. But your mom came to save you because she is amazing in every way. Snapping back to reality when you hear the brakes squeak and the gear shift into park. Your mom looking at you through the mirror and your dad stepping out of the car. As you open the door you see two figures come flying out the door.

"Y/N!!!" two voices screamed. You laugh loudly to cover up the grief your feeling.

"Hey you two" it was your two sisters who are younger than you, Marie who is 13 and Kayla who is 9. They both hugged you tightly and eagerly forced you inside. They showed you to your new room and they just could not stop giggling and laughing. Their eldest sister was back after 3 years. You did just grab your things as soon as you turned 13 and ran to your stepmom and father.

The girls were telling you all about the move and the new friends that they have made. You returning their stories with questions, curios on their lives after being gone for so long. Then there was a nock on the door. It was your mom, leaning on the doorway.

"Ok girls, it's time for bed"

"Nooooo" they say in union

"Yes, y'all have school tomorrow and I need to talk to your sister" she says a bit more firmly. They told you goodnight and ran to there rooms to get ready for bed. Your mom lifts herself from the doorway to come sit next to you on your bed.

"Hey, how are you holding up?"

"I'm ok enough I guess"

"Y/N, me and dad signed you up for school and you can start in a few weeks. You need a break, you have been through a lot tonight alone. Go shower and go to sleep. You need it" she holds your face in her hands. Gently rubbing your cheeks.

"Ok, if you say so" getting up to grab a pair of clothes that your mom had handed you.

"Y/N, I need to to look at me" quickly turning around to face her.

"Please no funny stuff...please...your safe, your back home with me" She states with a lump in her throat. That was the first time she had actually seen you fully. You looked horrible and she felt guilty for letting this go so far.

"Yes mamma. I will be safe" turning on your heel to shower and to finally rest.

After the shower you walked to your bed and flopped down letting everything sink in one last time. Eyes became heavy and foggy from tears building in your eyes. Instead of crying, you just rolled over and fell asleep quickly.

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(OK guys, the base part of the backstory is done. IT IS TIME FOR SAL!!!!)

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A couple months have passed since then. Your skin is cleared you have lost a lot of weight and healthy hair. You have been going to Nockfell High for a while now. You really didn't talk to anyone, really just kept to yourself. Walking to your next class, Mrs. Packerton to be exact, she stopped you in the doorway handing you a slip of paper. You opened the folded paper. "Sal Fisher" was written on it. A look of confusion flashed on your face.

"He is your project and class partner. The school is in forcing pairs so children can learn better communication skills" She must have noticed the confusion again because she pointed to a small framed bluenett. Who was sitting on the back with earbuds looking out the window. You nodded your head at her as a signal that you understood. Adjusting your bag on your back and you slowly walk over to the boy.

Pulling the chair out of the desk startled him out of his music. He awkwardly waved it off putting his ear buds away, getting ready for class. Mrs. Pakerton looked at the class and told everyone to talk to their partners for a little bit because for the rest of the school year they will be sitting together. Shifting awkwardly in your seat. You weren't really the one to start conversations, You were more of the "I wait for people to come to me but as soon as I get comfortable I am crazy"

He cleared his throat and you looked over at him. He had on some sort of mask and he had long blue hair that lightly spread across his shoulders. He was short but taller than you. If you were a guessing woman you would say he is about 5 foot 6. You on the other hand you were 5 foot 4. He had on red ripped jeans and a black sweater with rings on his fingers with matching necklaces. He smelled of fresh Landry and old building. As soon as you realized that you were literally scanning him like a weirdo he finally spoke up.

"Hey I'm Sal"

You swallowed hard. You weren't expecting him to sound like that. HIM to sound like THAT.

"I'm Y/N"

He already knew that. He knew you like a friend even tho you just met today. The day you walked into this school he couldn't look away. Every day he watched you change, be happier. Every, Single, Day he watched. As the days went on he just grew more and more infatuated with you. When you would walk past him he could feel the weight you carried. One thing you should know about Sal is the fact that he could read anyone like a book at first glance.

He is examining you now since this is the first time he was really able to. Your fluffy curly hair dyed black, the dark makeup you wear with glitter eyeshadow. A beautiful smile you carried and you always smelt so good. Like rich creamy vanilla with fresh fruit. Your beautiful eyes with long lashes that never needed anything more than masera. Your nails were always done and hair always touched up. Piercings that adorned your ears and one on your nose. You always looked beautiful to him. Even from the beginning when you were nothing.

"So we are partners now?" he said with a shrug but in all reality he is ecstatic.

"yea I guess, sorry I'm not really good at making friends part" you said while throwing your head in your hands. He laughs a bit at you.

"Yea me neither, I got my little friend group and I'm all set, What about you"

"I actually don't have a friend group or anything like that"

He turns his whole body in your direction.

"Really well your more than welcome to be apart my my friend group. There really nice people, I think they will like you" he said with a smile but you couldn't see it.

"Really?" you looked at him a little shocked.

"Yea after class is lunch, come sit with us"

"O-Ok"

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Ok that does the first chapter. Whew y'all I'm nervous ngl. Anyway let me know of some good plot or cute fits we could give to our dear Y/N. I have a plan but in all reality I just write what come into my mind. But anyway I would love some constructive criticism. I mean it just be nice. Anyway lmk if we want more.

OOOHHH AND I WILL BE POSTING ON AO3 AS SOON AS MY ACCOUNT WORKS!!!!!!