#i'm so sorry to scream about this anon and ramble! but i'm glad you're in the same feeling as well!! ; w ;

[robogart]

no you're SO right about the baldurs gate writing & design. I feel like everyone played a different version of that game where the characters were actually interesting and not just like. poorly written twig people. literally none of the party members have any meat on their bones, even the fuckin "muscle lady" who looks just as twiglike as everyone else its so grating

YES the "it feels like everyone played a different version of that game" is definitely where we're at right now! I'm glad you're in the same boat, it's nice to know we're not alone!! ; w ; 🙏💖💖

It's hard with the writing, because on one hand, I'm here for classic character types and tropes - I'll eat the same ones over and over! But of course, it's always with the caveat of if they're executed well (in MY opinion, it's always subjective). For example, we LOVE Astarion in this house (and Gale has been a surprise like for us too) - but SO much of that is because how the actors delivered the characters. And Astarion in particular feels SO well done - Neil Newbon is such an excellent character actor and he FEELS like a character because the actor brings a lot of nuance to the delivery. But if anyone else voiced him, it would feel lackluster. And that's because the writing is not as strong and intentional feeling. Even the way conversations are paced feel rather clunky - and the most "succesful" dialogue is because the actor is setting better breath and pace and emotion than the dialogue and story gives on its own.

So much of the actual character depth to me feels like it is largely aided by the actors rather than the writing itself. Which I know writing that, it feels a bit DUH that's what the actors are there for. But both things can exist at the same time. And I feel bad for always pointing at Dragon Age, but it's an adjacent game in this field and it's crafted Very Well where both the performances from the actors add depth to the already solid writing. Even looking up Dragon Age writers, you can easily find who the main writers were for each character, which is what gives them SUCH a clear voice and point of view. (And I think there are some characters who are weaker in Dragon Age, but I can't argue that they don't ever feel consistent to themselves despite my opinion of their writing). Whereas so many of the characters in bg3 just feel like they were made in an aimless gamer-bro echo chamber without any direction and the only saving grace is by the performance of the actor.

But!! Rambling!! I'm so sorry @ w @;;; I'm just very impassioned by this right now = w =;;;

[thebearer]

This anon has haunted me, but at lips apology, if he tries to propose bc “it’s the right thing to do” for you and the baby. He doesn’t want the responsibility but deep down he wants to have that responsibility bc always wanted to be a dad and husbands but scared

here's my thought on it.

he does it bc it's the "right thing to do" like it's just what you do, in his opinion. he doesn't want to be a bum who knocks someone up and doesn't marry them (his jaded opinion), but he also does love you and is sick at the idea of someone else being in yours and the baby's life that's not him. he's just fucked in the head really by this.

when you say no he's floored.

"wha-what do you mean? no?"

"no." you shake your head. "you don't really want to marry me."

"the fuck are you- i wanna fuckin' marry you, alright? i bought this fuckin' ring-"

"-you bought me a ring because i'm pregnant with your kid." you snap. "not because you want to marry me. not because you're in love with me."

lip is flustered bc... i mean, you're not wrong. you're not all the way right, but you're definitely not wrong.

"when you want to marry me because you want to marry me, and not because of the baby, then i'll think about it." you look down at the small diamond ring. "but i also wouldn't marry you right now, anyways, because i'm still not over all that shit you said."

"jesus, i told you i was sorry." lip sighs, closing his fist around the ring. "and-and ian is gettin' me in with his shrink to-to work this shit out like you said-"

"-and that's great, and i'm very proud of you." you say sincerely. his heart swells at the praise. "but that doesn't take back what you did."

lip feels like he could scream. furious at himself. "you wanna make it up to me? prove to me your sorry. prove to me you didn't mean what you said, and you're gonna be a good dad." you look down at his closed fist with the ring inside. "show me why i should marry you, because right now... i don't want to."

it's mean. it's cruel. it's harsh. but it's exactly what lip needed to hear. he worked double time, swallowing his pride and going to the "damn shrink" to figure out why he had control issues, why he coped the way he did (shocker: the majority of it was neglect from his parents, i know we're allllll surprised). he worked hard to prove that he wanted to be there for you, for the baby, and he did. he really did.

and he worked even harder to treat you the way you deserved. to show you that he loved you, and he really did. he spoiled you, the ways he could. home-cooked meals in your tiny apartment, baby proofing it, going to your birthing classes and every appointment. he would take you out on dates- real dates. hold your hand in the grocery, sweet kisses in the kitchen, let you use him as your own personal pregnancy pillow at night (when he finally got to sleep back in the bed with you).

lip was a good dad. you knew he would be. you knew from the moment the doctor told you it was a boy, his eyes shining with tears he refused to shed. something flipped in him. he'd been trying hard regardless but then, it felt real for both of you. lip didn't want to be frank, nothing like him. he upped his meetings with his sponsor, with his counselor and shrink. lip worked hard to unlearn years of trauma, to be better for freddie- be better for you. he slipped sometimes, always extra hard on himself when he did, but he was a good dad.

so when he asked you, when freddie was two and you'd grown together in every way- as parents and as a couple. you said yes. you knew he wanted to marry you for you. he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you, he told you that, rambled words while he was on one knee in front of you. you were glad you didn't accept his proposal the first time, truly, because it wouldn't have been nearly as great as this one. it was well worth the wait.

[thegvlaxyrvanger]

Hi, hello!! I found your blog through dead-dove's blog, and I was wondering if you would take a request for Katherine, your idol oc x yandere reader?

It's nice to meet you, I'm "💌 anon"!

~ 💌

GALAXY RANGER'S NOTES ;;

☆. Hey there 💌 anon !! Glad to meet you as well !! :] I just woke up to this earlier and I'm really happy that this is my first ever request and ask <D (I also changed her entire information, her name is now Shimizu Mei.)

☆. Sorry if this took really long, procrastination has been sticking with me these past 3 days. (You could pretty much tell that I got pretty lazy at the very end.)

✧. Taglist (Lmk if you want to be added!) ;

- @dead-dove-yandere

- @love-letter-exe

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

𖥔. ♡ KATHERINE -— An Idol and Her Number One Fan. PART 1.

𖥔. ♡ Pairing -— Female Popular Idol x Yandere ! GN Fan

TWs : This story contains dark topics such as Stalking, Obsession, Non-consensual Photography, Obsession, Implied NSFW (Masturbation), Implied Murder, Kidnapping, Drugging, etc. Please proceed with caution. Minors DNI.

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

You weren't exactly a huge fan of idols, not that you don't like them or that you're just trying to be different from millions of people hopping onto the bandwagon, it's just that their songs aren't the type of music that you would obsessively listen to 24/7, you like listening to a lot of songs and have favorites as well, but their songs just doesn't really stick to your taste.

Your friends on the other hand are basically on the opposite side of your coin, they absolutely LOVE idols and are basically just head on heels for them, each having their own preferences, you would mostly see them talking about their favorites non-stop, they could ramble about their bias to you for hours, so it isn't really surprising that they're basically one of those crazy insane and down bad fans, in which sometimes they even argue on which one is better, it's kind of annoying really.

They always drag you to their favorite idol's concert whenever they have the chance to and have a LOT of merch from them, from posters, to t-shirts, jackets, plushies, etc., you name it. You couldn't quite grasp why they would spend a lot of money just for some poster.

As for you, well, all that you could do is listen to their ramblings about their favorites and drag you to concerts, and to be honest, it kind of feels like they're pretty much shoving their interests into your face, but you don't really mind, actually, it's quite fun because you're hanging out with your friends and are just spending time with each other, nothing more.

But now? You finally get why.

You finally get why people would go crazy insane for someone who probably wouldn't even notice them.

Though, gazing at them from afar, screaming their name, and having lots and lots of merch from them, isn't enough to be honest for you to prove that you're their number one fan. It doesn't really make you feel a sense of, fulfillment, really.

You need to go through more..

Drastic and intense measures, just for you to prove it.

Of course, you know that this is too much, you're being crazy and this could lead to consequences that could be life-long, but it would be worth it in the end,

ŗ̲̯͕͎ͮ́͟͝͞͞i̮̭̭͙g͖̩͕̱ͦ͋ͤ́ͦ̾ḩ̲͍ͯ̒ͨ̄͌ͣ̚͝͡ţ̴̴̳̜͗ͩ̓̾ͨ̃ͪ͐̀̚͠͏?̸̵̫͈͙͖̠̫̖͌ͪ̿̉̆́͘͠

—

Recently, your friends have started talking about one specific idol, not the ones that they used to talk about, and as usual, they seem to be very crazy down bad for him, or her. You find it very strange and you feel really confused but also somewhat curious. Who are they talking about, exactly?

While the three of you were at a café, hanging out as usual, you find them talking about this idol again, curiosity got the better of you, and you then asked which idol were they talking about.

“Oh, you haven't heard? There's a new idol rolling around and her popularity has almost immediately skyrocketed, it's only been 3 days! I already get why because she's soooooooooo pretty and very cuuuteeee!! You should check the recent news article and her account!” One of your friends then said, as they gave you the said idol's account, this only made your curiosity grow bigger, and have eventually decided to search her account up later. You eventually find yourself talking to your friends about that idol, your curiosity getting bigger and bigger the more information about her you collect from your friends, it was unusual for you, really. But you don't really seem to care at all.

After sometime, you and your friends then parted ways, and while on your way back to your apartment, you eventually searched up her account, and holy hell, your friends were right, she is pretty and cute.

You were absolutely enthralled with her beautiful and dazzling appearance. You felt yourself getting engulfed, and eventually you decided to stalk her account.

She goes by “Shimizu Mei” on her account, a pretty brunette who's half-japanese, half-, wears Jirai Kei and Gyaru fashion, and her singing voice is absolutely stunning. You already forgot that you already walked past your apartment because of how submerged you are to her pretty looks and voice.

You then realize what you've been doing after what felt like forever and eventually snapped back to reality, you then hit and laughed to yourself quietly, you felt stupid for walking past your apartment.

But you also felt confused, what's wrong with you? This is very unusual of you, really. You've.. never felt like this before, you've never liked an idol before, and most importantly, you never would've thought that you'd actually be a fan of one, but it's not like you don't want to stop and restrain yourself, while you weren't exactly expecting this, you eventually just accepted it, you like her, you've become her fan, and that's that.

At least, that's what you initially thought.

As weeks pass by, your friends gradually start to notice that you seem to be, very fixated on the recent popular idol, Mei, not that they mind about it, it's just getting quite concerning on how much you like her.

You would only talk to them if it's about, her. If they try to change the topic by talking about another idol, you'd get really mad. They tried to calm you down by telling you to chill talking about her for a moment and just talk about something else instead, which only made you get even more mad. They found it very strange, you weren't like this a few weeks ago, what happened to you?

—

You only found yourself getting even more obsessed with the idol as days and weeks pass by. When you found out that she's hosting a meet-and-greet near your city, you immediately thought that you HAD to go with your friends since they told you that they were going as well.

The day of the meet-and-greet arrived, and oh boy this crowd was absolutely yet unsurprisingly really huge. You and your friends don't even know what was going on except for the fact that everyone was going batshit crazy while security was trying to calm everyone down, yet it was no use.

Amidst the crowd, you then saw her glance at you.

Yes, you.

As soon as you immediately noticed that she glanced at you for a mere second, your heart almost instantly stopped for a moment. You felt like you were about to fucking burst right then and there! As the voices of your friends calling out for your name in the middle of the crowd fell on deaf ears, not realizing that you were lost before you eventually snap back into reality, realized what was going on as you tried to find your friends while you steal a few glances back at the idol, who's sweet honey-like voice helped the security calm the crowd down.

Gosh, her voice is so fucking intoxicating.

After a while of waiting which seemed like forever to you, you finally get to see her.

In front of you, face-to-face.

Fucking god, was she trying to kill you? Was she trying to hypnotize you with that pretty little head of hers? Did she pull a spell on you or something? What the hell did she fucking do to you?

From her soft locks, to the most sweetest smile that you've ever seen from someone, to her outfit wear, to literally everything.

She's just practically begging for you to doll her up at this point.

...

!

“...- Eh .. -Ah ?- H-hello? Sweetheart -..? Are you even listening -?” she then said, snapping her fingers at your face, you eventually snap back into reality once more as you eventually find yourself frantically and repeatedly apologizing to her.

“No need to apologize, my dear ~ Would you like to take a picture with me, ? Or an autograph ? Just let me know sweetie !” She then replied, you found yourself a little lost in words as you then realized that she called you a pet name, your face turning into a bright, crimson shade of red as you eventually told her that you would just like to take a photo with her.

After the photoshoot with her, she then gave you the photo, signed it, and waved goodbye to you and your friends with a sweet smile on her face. Eventually you and your friends said your goodbyes to one another as you three parted ways.

...

It wouldn't be so bad to go back,

Take a picture of her,

And follow her on her way back,

...

Right?

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

[misc-obeyme]

CC I'VE BEEN SCREAMING ABOUT THE NEW CARDS SINCE LAST NIGHT, MAMMON LOOKS SO AKDJWJJD, SIMEON TOO BUT MAMMON IS MY BABES

it took me all 40 pulls to finally get Mammon (and everyone else too), and ohmygoddd

Mammon in boxing gloves has me... unhinged. Mammon boxer AU and maybe an MC who's the ref, and they always see him every night, and sometimes he loses sometimes he doesn't. It's all for the money and show

And one night Mammon can't wrap his hand and MC comes across him and helps him and akwkfj sorry I'm. brainrotting and going crazy, I just want to patch up a beat up Mammon BECAUSE THERE'S SOMETHING SO INTIMATE ABOUT THAT. I still remember reading a Mammon boxer and MC ballerina one shot (it was smut) and it lives rent free in my brain)

I wish the devilgram had been about boxing but it was still really cute and we got no 2 and Mammon content, that's my son right there. I'll never get over him calling Mammon Papa

SORRY FOR RAMBLING, ALSO MY CONCERT WENT AMAZING AND I GOT A LIVE DEBUT OF A REALLY OLD SONG AAAA

- ✨ anon

OMG THESE CARDS THOUGH.

I feel like this is so mild compared to what it could be, like omg steamy shower scenes oooooo lol. But we're so starved for any suggestive content that it's making us all go crazy!

Ahh, I love the boxer!Mammon thing, too. There is something intimate about patching up someone who's hurt. It's because you have to touch them to do it, but it's also tender because you clearly care about their well being which is why you're doing it at all. So it's a nice combination of taking care of someone when they're hurt and soft touches and possibly an opportunity to scold them if they were doing something reckless and that's how they got hurt to begin with ahhh I just really love all of it lol!!

There's also something about both of you being hurt and then you taking care of each other~

But yeah, you know Mammon would get into boxing for the money aspect of it. I kinda like the idea that he's somehow involved with the rigged betting, like he's losing on purpose because he knows it'll make someone win and then he gets a big cut of those winnings for it. Gets involved with some shady characters. Then for some reason he wins when he's supposed to lose (maybe his opponent insulted MC and actually pissed him off??). Then he's in trouble with the shady characters who come after him and he has to fight them and gets away but not without getting hurt... then MC is like what happened?!?! And he's all blushing as he stammers out that he had to defend your honor!! And all that while you're sitting there holding an ice pack to his black eye or something adlkfkdf

OOPS I got a little carried away but listen I love this scenario.

Anyway, I also love lil D no 2 what an absolute cutie! I love the lil Ds on these cards, they're adorable and they should be included more. I know they gave Simeon a wrath lil D because Simeon's sin is supposed to be wrath. Does this mean there are multiple little Ds of each sin? Because I was kinda under the impression that there was just the one and that's why we had to go find each of them when the brothers went crazy. And if that's the case, I kinda love the idea of Simeon just hanging out with Satan's little D. Like I find that very funny lol.

Never apologize for rambling! And I'm so glad your concert was good woooo!

[bittersweetresilience]

WAIT FUCK SHIT just realized that you actually commented on my fic oh my god. oh my god

i'm having a complete fangirl moment rn AAAAAÀAAAAAAAAA you're a literal legend i can't believe you read that word vomit but also i am over the moon.....senpai noticed me fr 😭

i adore the way you write. i don't even know how to describe it but it's in the emotions, how palpable and visceral they feel....just wow i'm absolutely in awe of the way your prose flows. it's so witty and beautiful and i can only hope to write like you one day

your writing genuinely has me choked up rn i feel crazy.....also as a fellow lore nerd it made me feel so seen that you noticed all those little renjing details :D god i love your jing yuan's inner voice he's so fucking old and tired and burdened by the weight of all his responsibilities yet the yearning hasn't waned one bit.....it comes across in all his interactions with other people....(the conversation w yukong killed me) he is never moving on, is he?

the letters to yingxing wrecked me each time. so painful but so artfully done. to be honest, i have always struggled a lot with writing jy and striking the correct balance between the wise, experienced general of the hunt that he is vs the sopping wet mess he becomes when it comes to Emotions and his friends and yingxing/blade. you captured that perfectly and i already know that i will be thinking about this fic for a long, long time

i am really sorry for this long ass ask 😔 i wanted to leave you a comment on ao3 but it is currently 7 in the morning and clearly i am barely coherent...i want to reread your fic and then try to gather all my thoughts for a proper comment but for now just know that you've saved my life with this fic

weirdly enough, i don't peruse the jrj tags much on ao3 which i now realize is quite stupid of me. this is the first time i've read one of your fics and i'm so glad that i stumbled upon it. for some reason i really missed blade and jy today and this fic truly made everything better (even tho i had tears in my eyes) uni is beating my ass rn but i'll def make time to read all of your fics now ty for your incredible service <3

SORRY FOR THE MINDLESS RAMBLE ;_;

AHKLBJADKFJALFDA DID I COMMENT ON YOUR FIC????????????? ANON WHO ARE YOU... WELL I KNOW YOUR TUMBLR USERNAME NOW BUT WHO ARE YOU ON AO3... could it be the incredible and lovely dustedpink who i met during renjing week...

I'M AJAKJDJKFKDHGHJD NO NO I'M BLUSHING SO HARD AND I AM SO HAPPY YOU'RE HAPPY BUT ALSO I'M NOT ANYONE SPECIAL I'M JUST A LITTLE GUY!!!!!!!!!!!! a little guy on the internet who really likes renjing 😳 and your fic, if i am thinking of the right fic, was absolutely wonderful and thoughtful and funny too 🥺 i don't normally read jingren things but i wanted to get to everyone participating in the week and now i'm even more glad that i did!!!!!!!!! i'm giving you flowers... 💐💐💐💐💐💐

i'm screaming about how sweet you are about my writing AAAAAAAAAAAAA... i'm SO SO glad you enjoyed it and YOU!!!!!!!! YOU ALREADY WRITE BEAUTIFULLY!!!!!!!!!!!! AND LORE YESSSSSS omg i love gnawing on tiny pieces of canon i will do that forever it's so fulfilling

JING YUAN IS SO TIRED 😭😭😭 HE REALLY IS 😭😭😭😭 his conversation with yukong is one of my favorites next to the one with fu xuan so I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT...

"the wise, experienced general of the hunt that he is vs the sopping wet mess he becomes when it comes to Emotions and his friends and yingxing/blade" JLAKJMFKLAKLFAKLDFJKDJFHJDFhdS no no you're so right about this 🤣🤣🤣 HE CONTAINS MULTITUDES. and we love to see it...

🥺🥺🥺 I'M SO HONORED TO RECEIVE SUCH A THOUGHTFUL ASK PLEASE DON'T EVER APOLOGIZE FOR THIS!!!!!!!!!! AND ALSO!!!!!!!!! OMG PLEASE GET SOME SLEEP!!!!!!!!!! i cannot judge you for i have also stayed up forever in the name of renjing but I AM TUCKING YOU INTO BED AND WRAPPING YOU IN WARM BLANKETS

i'm giving you a big big hug and i hope everything is a little softer and sweeter for you tomorrow and there's!!!!!!!!! never any rush to do anything!!!!!!!!! anxiety and ennui about writing have been beating MY ass the past few weeks but i'm 😭😭😭 WAAAAH I'M HOLDING YOUR KIND WORDS SO GENTLY...

thank YOU for being so kind and NO APOLOGIZING!!!!!!!!! BECAUSE!!!!!!!!! MY ANSWER IS EVEN LONGER AND MORE MINDLESS!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAJKFSJKFKSDF GIVING YOU ANOTHER HUG BECAUSE I'M SNEAKY 🫂💓❤️💛❤️💛❤️💛❤️

[makomaragi]

Hello! This is out of the blue but a bit ago I discovered your science fics during a late night obscure ship deep dive.. and I got inmediately hooked and binge read your stuff! I finally feel brave enough to comment. I'm in AWE about how good their characterizations are, it feels true to the smaller glimpses we have seen at their personalities but you manage to create a whole new universe about them. Those two are SO romantic also, whether in their early years to as a couple and especially in their "action" scenes lol..

They have such tenderness I might have cried a bit and screamed to my friends about it lol. I want to highlight Picklng up pieces.. BOY what a fic, you describe and convey emotions so well that even if a lot of the topics covered are foreign to me I Feel them and want to root for them.. Seriously the scene with the scar being shown was unironically one of the most touching things I've read. All the other fics are as awesome, I just spent til 5 AM reading that one and don't want to make this ask even longer.

I'm glad someone like you gives those two nerds the development and love they deserve, and whether you ever write more or not (because you're not obligated to!) your work is some of my fav fics ever. You can feel proud. I hope you are doing okay. I also want to say I found your work during a rough patch and if it's okay to say they've helped me a lot.

Apologies if this is too big of a ramble, seriously thank you for writing them. PD: Your fics might or might have not made me pick their origin game back up for the first time in years... And definitely made me love the ship. :)

I am so sorry, I have not checked my messages here in a long time.

Thank you so much, for saying this to me. It means a lot to me, that you took the time to read my super lengthy fics. I wrote them out of wanting to put my silly lil headcanons in to...something? I guess?

But I can't thank you enough, for taking the time to not only read my SUPER long fics, but find my Tumblr and send this to me. I literally have Fennel and Juniper tattooed on me, they are my favorite characters ever, and I will never really be able to explain why, because I don't have an answer. I've been shipping them for 12+ years now, and at some point over the last few years got brave enough to write long things.

I might write more, someday!! Come off anon and add me on discord or whatever if you want, but if not that is okay too. But, thank you. I am glad my fics helped you and didn't traumatize you too much. The subjects they are about are nothing that has ever happened to me in my life, or anything I know much from personal experience by any means, just fucked up headcanons I have for some reason. Sorry I am like this. This is the nicest thing anyone ever said about any of my fics, or art, or anything. Thank you <3

[warpedpuppeteer]

hi dagger! I was the anon who sent the ask about feeling like the network/tptb won't take buck and Eddie's build up through its logical conclusion. I just wanted to drop by and say thank you for such a logical and thoughtful response! I certainly wasn't expecting something of that caliber to my rambling and somewhat spiraling thoughts about how season 7 had gone and the trajectory the story seemed to be going. You're right, there are too many deliberate writing choices for all buddie signs to be "coincidence," and even if in the end it all falls apart (like a certain show whose half confession and superhell death that I will never live down), we have our amazing fic writers in this fandom to escape to.

Thank you for being the voice of reason and reassurance on these currently rough seas :)

Omg hi again anon, sorry for the late response. I'm glad you were able to drop by and see the reply! Thank YOU for allowing me to ramble on about buddie haha. Absolutely loved the ask you sent. Sometimes we just need to vent it out so I totally understand the frustration you were feeling 🫶🏽. Pls drop by any time (especially when buddie goes canon so we can scream about it)

[threadsun]

Cult anon here, just thought you'd like to know that I've been writing all my cult posts in a google doc just in case tumblr eats them and it is now at twenty pages. I might have to make separate google docs for the different arcs in this bitch at some point

I love this all so much, the craziest part about it is that I've never written this much for a project before. I think this is like my nitch, it's so fucking cool to just keep writing about something and feel like you're not getting board with it. Sorry for the ramble, this is just hard to wrap my head around, hope you have a lovely day : D

I'm so glad you're having fun writing it!!! I'm so excited to read anything and everything you write for it, it's such a cool idea!!! I've been screaming at Moon and the dead dove discord about how much I love it and how cool it is!!! I'm so happy you're not getting bored with it, your excitement comes through in every message and just makes the whole thing even better 🥰

[bonesandthebees]

SHAKES UR HAND PRISMO !!!

together we can convince the bee tumblr community to become as obsessed with it as us

ALSO DAMNNN DEDICATED /POS

on a side note-

hold up

on a side side note: i get so distracted in these asks bee omfg im so sorry, i feel like my high energy can get too much sometimes KFDSJKDF pls let me know if u need me to turn it down a notch, i just get excited whenever i talk about fics soo aksdfjkSKJDF

anyways on the original side note: talking about the bee tumblr community just made me think about it, it really does feel like a sort of family <3 i love seeing all the random updates from the different anons here and getting to connect to you and to each other, it feels much more wholesome and secure than places like twt LMFAOO but idk it's just nice <3

i had tumblr for awhile but i never used it until i started reading the asks here, and it took me awhile to join in bc i felt intimidated skfdkjsd which is ironic bc yknow i could always go anon? but idk it just felt like everyone had their groove going and i didn't want to intrude, but i joined and i never felt that way

anyways oops this got long (as it always does kjfsdkj), but i just wanted to say that i appreciate you bee <3 for letting us anons n non anons ramble in ur ask box and analyze ur fics and/or just straight up scream noncoherent things

this has been a bright spot in my life lately and it's really special to me <333 and ur genuinely like . one of the kindest authors i've met, but you also have such a good sense of your boundaries n stuff, i admire you really. ur super cool

and also to all the other sillies in bee's asks, i appreciate u guys too <3 ur all super cool people, and i love hearing what you have to say :)) it's genuinely really nice and comforting to be a part of this community <33

lol no you're fine icy!! while it can be a Lot it always makes me laugh whenever I post a chapter of something that has sandduo in it and my inbox just fills with you screaming. it makes me so happy to know how excited my fics make you and the others though so :D

the thing you said about the tumblr community we have here is so sweet though and it's more right than I think even I realized initially. it's really nice when I see regular askers/anons pop up in my inbox and get to catch up on tiny parts of your lives and then in turn you guys talk to each other—it's just so sweet y'know? the thing I really love about having such an active inbox especially with asks about my fics is that it's a lot easier for me to respond to tumblr asks than ao3 comments. I rarely reply to ao3 comments because it's really just overwhelming and then I'm like "well if I respond to one person I feel bad about not responding to everyone else" but sometimes I just don't know what to say or there's just too many comments y'know? I LOVE my ao3 comments they mean so much to me but it's really nice to have people come into my inbox here to tell me their thoughts on my chapters bc it gives me a chance to reply with my own thoughts in a way that feels a lot more like a discussion I guess

so yeah. thank you guys for coming into my inbox to give me your thoughts it seriously makes me so happy and is definitely part of the reason why I have so much motivation to post so much.

also I'm really glad you decided to start popping in here one day icy you're very fun to have around :)

one thing I've always been very aware of since getting 'big' in this fandom is how to maintain things like boundaries while still connecting with the community and my readers specifically. because I wanna talk to you guys and I love interacting with you and all that, but also sometimes people in fandom who get 'big' can be a bit strange to others or get way too involved with discourse and just stir the pot and to each their own do fandom how you want but I don't wanna do that y'know. I'm here to have a good time and I want this little community we've built to also just be a nice, welcoming place for everyone

thank you for this icy it really made me smile to read <3

[acilykos]

Hello sorry I am the anon that just sent you something a few minutes ago and I am rambling more now HRJMSKKDKS SORRY IDK WHO ELSE TO TALK TO ABOUT THESE THINGS BUT YEAH. I think one of the things that is difficult to accept by the fandom about aroace Senku is that, see, Senku /is/ attractive, right? most of his friends and the people he've met throughout his journey that are not also on the acespec are definitely capable of being attracted to him 'cause, well, he is attractive! So the idea that in spite of him being, well, such a 'catch,' this idea that his friends respect him enough to not make a move on him and understand/respect that he's not interested and will never be, is such an insanely warm and heartening thing to watch as an aroace. HAHAHA Okay I'm done now have a good day pt. 2!

Yes!!! I completely agree hahaha And same, I love talking about Senku being AroAce!

None of his friends force a romance onto him, no one going "Ah, eventually he'll come around" it's the opposite! Even Luna who "crushes" on him respects his autonomy and doesn't do anything, no plot of trying to get romantic or physical, even she respects his decision on whether or not he actually wants a relationship with her.

Kohaku and Chrome both say "People don't know Senku at all" whenever there's a "Ohh you're into them?" comments, like about Homura. They all know and just respect it.

I thank Inagaki and Boichi everyday that there wasn't a last minute forced romance between him and Luna or Kohaku, also because I feel like shonen specifically doesn't value male and female friendships together as much as it should be, and always makes some weird romance happen between the (male) protagonist of the series and their closest (female) allies. Seems to be changing in recent years tho!

I'm actually glad we as a society kinda move on from having a forced romance for the protagonist trope in shows ajdjwjr

Also I ranted about this to @cosplayprincess21 but sometimes I feel like the reason why we have both Taiju/Yuzuriha and Chrome/Ruri as established will be couples in the series, is to divert from Senku like "Nooo, look at those romance plots, nothing to see over there, yes look away from the scientist" and even then their romance plots are very, very subtle and don't feel forced, they're very sweet and I like them!

To paraphrase myself from one of our convos, in a way, the series just feels AroAce-spec by having every other types of relationships, like family (Byakuya and Senku, Ruri and Kohaku, Ryusui and Sai, etc, etc...), friendship (I don't think I need to give examples for those hahaha but the best has to be Senku and Taiju), and alliances from mentor and student to enemies who become allies to fight the same enemy, be highlighted much more than the romantic ones.

Like yes, we have obvious romantic moments, but they don't feel overpowering, they just feel natural and like a side note.

Plus again, they're not focused on Senku hahaha He's like a bystander who has to roll with the punches lmao

I hope this makes sense, I don't know how else to explain it ajdje 💀 Just the fact that romance is a footnote, not a driving force for plot in the entirety of the manga. You could rewrite the entirety and have the romances be just friendships and it still works, even if some details change. Plus again, just two of Senku's closest friends (Taiju and Chrome) having the romance instead of himself as the protagonist just feels very "How to make sure people won't scream for a romantic main plot"

Also yeah, I don't really count Luna's switch over as a romantic subplot, because Senku gave it his all to trick her into joining his team lmao

Boy exploited romance for his convenience and then dropped it the second he didn't need it anymore hahaha

Sorry, this became super fucking long, but I love ranting with others about Senku being the perfect AroAce rep and how it just makes sense 😭

BUT YEAH HAVE A NICE DAY TOO, ANON!!

Drop by anytime you want to rant about it :D

[everybodyshusband]

Ok so I'm not really back to normal but I'm gonna ignore my tummy for a couple minutes in favour of talking to you because I've been dying to send another ask after your wonderful responses!!!

I'll send it in sort of bullet points bc idek if anything I'm saying is even coherent and this might be easier for you to understand? (Or it might not, I'm sorry) In my brain everything makes sense but then sometimes when I say it out loud or write it it's like "what the hell is she saying rn?" So here I go:

- that bit you wrote about swiss and Copia with the soap and swiss stops swearing even when not regressed... oh, it has my heart... Poor baby, I hope Copia makes it up to him with lots of cuddles! I can imagine them laying in bed, Swiss with his head on Copia's chest, as Copia kisses his forehead/hair/nose/whatever he can reach, and promises it's never going to happen again over and over until swiss believes him and eventually falls asleep... (He even drools a little in his sleep, but don't tell him shhhh)

- I understood what you meant about the part I thought I didn't understand in the rain fic! Ugh every time I read that fic I just wanna give him the biggest hug my poor baby... Their dynamic in that fic is so "it's rotten work" 'not to me, not if it's you' I'm screaming and sobbing about it 😭🥹😍

- I will literally always enable you to ramble about any of your fics! Anything! I'm interested!!! I promise!!!! Anything you want to bring up??? Guess what!? I'm all ears!!! Always!!

-not gonna lie I felt pretty shitty all day bc of my tummy (and still do) but your super sweet responses and thinking about sending you an ask kept me a bit motivated (and distracted from the fact that tomorrow is Monday and I gotta work 😭) so thank you!

- I wanted to ask if there's a specific fic that's close to your heart or one that you like a bit more or one you wish got more attention? Because I'll get my greedy lil paws all over it in like 2 seconds flat and start discussing it... I think I've read everything you've posted but I wanna hear your thoughts on your own stuff too!! 💓💓💕💗💗💖💖💗

You're probably sleeping rn and you'll probably see this tomorrow so I hope you slept well and the day ahead is good to you! 🩷

ooh, my darling anon, i've been hoarding this and all your other asks for much, much too long, i am so, so sorry !!! please know i love and appreciate each and every one of your kind words, even if it takes me a very long time to respond 💙

under the cut because of length, haha :'D

i hope that by now your tummy has settled down a bit, i'm sorry this bout of stomach issues seemed to hit you so hard :0 (oh, and don't worry ! your asks always make perfect sense, my friend !!)

don't worry, after the incident, copia makes sure to give soooo much extra love and care to swiss. that ghoul is not escaping those cuddles from copia without plentiful doses of extra love and chaste forehead, cheek and nose kisses, haha !! copia is so very willing to reassure swiss that he's safe and that it won't happen again, you're right (and you're also very right in that swiss drools right onto copia's papal vestments, but not to worry, the stain comes out ...eventually)

ah !! i'm glad it's making more sense now :D i have a chronic case of the "does not write the things in his head into the actual fic" haha !! i agree that rainy deserves all the hugs in the world, it's a very icky headspace for the poor little guy to be in and he deserves so many hugs for doing his best to navigate it. whether or not he accepts the hugs though is another story entirely...

again, i hope your tummy is feeling better by now. or maybe it's been long enough that you've cycled around into another rough patch ? ooh, i hope not. but either way, i'm sending you so many good tummy vibes, hehe <3 (and maybe you'll take solace in the fact that as i'm answering this, tomorrow is a wednesday rather than a monday ?)

ooooh, that's difficult, haha !! the rain fic you mentioned before is the one that's closest to my heart at the moment, i think. but i'm also quite attached to my most recent ficlet with regressed aeon and zephyr because oh my goodness, i love their dynamic and i want to explore it as much as i can, hello ?!? and then on the complete other side of the spectrum i'm very proud of this t4t raindrop filth, haha !! i think because they're all my newest works i haven't had the time to build up an "ew, what was i thinking !??!" response to them, so i'm still feeling very good about these three. and by the looks of it, other people seem to like them as well, which is a nice bonus :)

thank you very much again for your lovely asks, anon 💙 they make me smile and brighten my day every single time i look at them !! i hope life has been treating you well, my dear, and i hope that you have a wonderful day/night depending on where you are in the world 💙

[nelladivinita]

Waa thank you! I’m glad i’m able to give that feeling! <3 

I am so so soft over the idea of Secondo needing you in so many ways. I love what you said about him feeling used and controlled, of him having trouble with his own personal autonomy. He’s not used to indulging in his own personal desires which is intensely ironic because this man is known for being a party animal and pursuing pleasure but maybe even that feels forced sometimes? Of course he enjoys it from time to time, but maybe it’s become somewhat of a front now, he feels like people have expectations when he goes out and perhaps he has his own expectations of himself. And after a while, it’s just… exhausting. I really like the idea of him in love with hearing your stories from followers about how he’s doing ;w; I can imagine sometimes during aftercare, he asks for you to talk; and you ramble about his followers while he holds you, and it soothes something broken in him he long thought unmendable. 

Him sleeping on top of you unlocks something feral in me, the way you talked about him holding you around your waist and rumbling softly against you 🙏🙏

There’s something so sweet about the way you describe Secondo as you lay in bed together 🥰🥰🥰that’s another thing he loves about you; is the lack of expectations. I feel like most people around him would expect him to get freaky before bed, when maybe it’s the opposite, maybe him needing softness and to be held is something he needs, y’know? Like don’t get him wrong, he LOVES getting freaky lmao, he loves nothing more than pressing you into those sheets and feeling your skin slide against his, loves how he makes you scream his name; but he’s someone that’s dealt with a lot of harshness and expectations and control from the church. He likes being reminded he can be soft too, that there’s still a part of him in there that’s the young man he was before <3 -loveletter anon <3333

HIII sorry for the delay get ready for my depressive Sec HCs there are just my opinion but I got mournful so I really leaned into them

Yes yes yes!! How I see it is that he enjoys his partying, loves reveling in the "carnal pleasures" of papacy, but often wakes up feeling an emptiness that he can't place. This is mostly based on what he says at the end of Papaganda 2 after waking up and looking around like 'where ami/is everyone ;-;' "in order to stay sane, I try to remember the souls of the night, as I stare into the eyes of a new day." I think he just feels terribly lonely despite having so many people around him when he's out partying like that. Because the parties are fun, but they're not what fulfills him, and then he has to ask, in his older age, 'what does?' by the end of it all, which adds to that feeling of lostness. I don't think they are to fill a void for him, but I do think that he does have one, and I think it comes from feeling severed from who he is by the church, not so much in his character, but in his soul...

Ehehe okay I have a confession I am really bad at writing smut so I was like I do feel like things might get sexual when he's like kissing on your stomach or right after the bath but I'm so bad at that stuff and I always go soft with it I think still though like you said that he enjoys the subversion of expectation or perhaps the fact that he finally has someone who is compatible with in that way, where he can enjoy the softer forms of intimacy and love on his partner in a way that is as much about your inner children as it is about who you are as adults. They say that the reason we struggle so much with romantic intimacy is because of the inner child. The love we share with a partner is second in the depth of it's intimacy to the one we share with our parents, which is actually why we baby talk our partners!!! We are taken to a place of total vulnerability and softness, which can be deeply healing or damaging, depending on the partner you're with!!!

Sorry if this didn't give much to play with I got kind of Serious about it but I was thinking about it with him.

[hopedefined]

@thwipsthrown said: um yes hello this is totally anon. the way you have taken every new fact of annas life that you find out and so perfectly weaved into your portrayal. you always talk about my ability to yes and, but also yours???? helloooooo. it's so clear that you're an actor because you pick up new characters like you've never not known them. seeing the bad that anna has done and letting her work to change it. 👨‍🍳😘

SCREAMING CRYIHNG. I LOVE YOU.

mannn that means so much bc I'm ngl that is one of the hard things about a muse with So Much canon. definitely there's some stuff I have to just handwave or ignore but....I do try really hard to incorporate what I can.

and YES I am so glad that theme of reparation comes through. I think the actions rogue took with the brotherhood--AND the mistakes she's made throughout her life, not like we can blame all of it on a bad influence--are an incredibly interesting part of her character, especially in combination with the way current comics are really leaning into her as a true believer in charles' vision even after the fall of krakoa. like. of course she is. she lived it. she might be suspicious by nature, but she needs to believe that there is always a path forward. one she has to fight for. hope-defined.

god. sorry I'm just rambling about rogue now the POINT IS

thank you so so much this is so kind and I'm really glad I'm getting those fully realized creation vibes even with how much I do love my silly lil gags

Anonymously send me your favorite detail about how I play my character.

[causenessus]

I know it’s been completed for a while now but I’m still not over love notes 🧍🏻‍♀️ it was such a good SMAU and it’s so full of whimsy. It’s exactly what I needed in my life and I’m so glad you like surgically implanted the fluff and whimsy in my brain with the story. He’s such a down bad simp for love notes y/n and honestly where can I find me a man like that?

I want those two have, they love each other so much and I was screaming at them to just like kiss and confess to each other the whole time. I hate how long it took them to get together, not in a bad writing way but in a “oh my god. Why are you both so dumb??? You obviously love each other.” Way!!! Your writing and story was so delicious. Like I want to eat it. Your posts make my day bcs I swear all these boys are so down bad for y/n and honestly??? What more could you need in life?

Him making the art and sending it to her was just 🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻 I want someone to make art to inspire me like hello? How. Much more romantic can it get than making art for someone bcs you love them and want to inspire them? Love Notes! Suna love of my life fr! Also her friendship with Sakusa was hilarious. I love all the banter and teasing that makes its way into the friendship and I love how you wrote their relationship.

(I’m sorry I’m a certified yapper and I can’t help it! Your inbox will be flooded with things like this bcs of my degree in yappology)

Okay ramble is over! I’m really excited for what you’re planning in the future and I hope you remember that writing is fun! Write the things you want to write no matter what other’s want. Take breaks when they’re needed and make sure to drink water and don’t forget to eat.

<3

-sincerely bakery anon 🍪

IT WILL NEVER BE TOO LATE TO TALK ABOUT LOVE NOTES!!! I'M NOT OVER LOVE NOTES EITHER OMG :( i was thinking about the chapter where her and suna are like out at the firepit for osamu and atsumu's birthdays and he's moving her legs so she's not too close to the fire :(((( literally i loved love notes sm I'M SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO GET TO THIS BAKERY ANON!! i may or may not have just wanted to keep it in my inbox forever a little longer because this was so sweet!! i literally read it last night and it immediately motivated me to post those two little love notes extras last night!! i hope u saw them BC THEY WERE FOR U!!!! (and if not they are linked at the bottom of the love notes mlist!!)

I ALSO WANT WHAT SUNA AND Y/N HAVE LIKE OMG 😔😔😔 JUST TAKE ME TO THE LOVE NOTES UNIVERSE PLEASE JUST ONE CHANCE and thank you so so much for your words <33 they are def dumb!! and were just scared of ruining their friendship BUT THEY HAD TO LEARN TO TAKE THE RISK!!

AND PLEASE so like when i first thought of writing a suna fic i literally had an entirely different plot thought out (not complete in any sense it was like one scene and i had no ideas whatsoever) BUT THEN I WAS WASHING DISHES AND THE IDEA OF GRAFFITI AND MAKING ART FOR SOMEONE BUT NOT ADMITTING IT AND EVERYTHING JUST CAME TO ME IT WAS CRAZY!! i'm so so glad you loved it!! and aa yes the banter between everyone was so sweet <3 and literally dating suna AND your best friend is sakusa kiyoomi??? sign me up please where do i sign up!!

(as you can tell i am just as much of a yapper!! i am a professional yapper!! i have a degree in yapping!! so never apologize i will yap JUST AS MUCH BACK <3)

THANK YOU FOR THE REMINDER BAKERY ANON <3 YOU ARE SO SO SWEET AND I HOPE YOU'RE DOING WELL!! MAKE SURE TO EAT AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF I LOVE YOU SO MUCH THANK YOU FOR STOPPING IN!! FOREHEAD KISS MWAH <3

[tohokuu]

happy new years !

uh, so i saw a lot of these appreciation posts and wanted to do one for the moots that i'm close with. i appreciate you all and thank you for fixing up my terrible half of 2021. you guys made me laugh all the time and i couldn't ask for more.

-

@bajimi @kocoir @suget : you guys come in a package. all three of you are so funny and sweet. thank you so much for being some of my oldest moots. i appreciate you guys for being here. you're all amazing

@seraphdreams - heres to my oldest mutual. you've been here since the first couple days i've had this account. thank you so much for keeping me in check when i was having a rough couple of days. we don't talk much but you're the sweetest. and you're the prettiest girl ever <3

@svnzus - you're just so funny. we hardly interact but i just wanna get high with you. you seem like someone who you could get high with and i appreciate that vibe very much

@nymphobunnie - you've also been here for a little while now and i think you're so sweet. i had a nosebleed the first time i saw you. you're so pretty and you talk so cutely. im in love with you

@yunhoflrtz - our friendship was made in the funniest way. i was so sus of you at first, bro (im sorry) but you were so insanely sweet i felt bad right after. it's a funny memory now but i'm glad it happened. your works are amazing, your theme is amazing and i love talking to you so much. biggest yunnie simp i know <3

@mitsuxii - my little whore, arba. i love talking to you. i feel like when i ramble about some stuff, i;m not 100 percent annoying you (i might be) but i don't feel bad about talking about my interests when i'm with you. i can be comfortable when talking to you. thank you for always defending me against hate anons and talking to me about the shady things on this app

@atozfic - you're deadass amazing. i was so scared of you at first. you were so intimidating and i thought you;d step on me at any given moment, but youre actually so sweet and you're also absolutely fucking hilarious LMFAO

@bobateastay - you were like one of my first ateez moots and i was so surprised when you followed me. i was in love with all of your works and i went thru all your masterlist in just a couple hours. i am absolutely in love with your work and i love the tags you leave when you reblog my fics. whenever im scared of positing something you always say the nicest things and it just makes my heart soar. thank you so much

@getoswhore - my little key-sucky fucker <3 i love you so much. your fics are the absolute best and i love everything about you. you were also one of the first ppl i met on here and managed to stay connected with for this long. i appreciate everything about you and i think you're absoltely hilarious. those videos in your camera roll... the toe sucking one ... sends me every time

@nateezfics - nat nat nat omg. i feel in love with your writings and i was stalking your blog for quite some time before we became moots. it started with me sending a whole bunch of hj photos in your ask box and then you did the same. and then our exchange of hj content started. i remember the scream i let out when i found out that you liked that one hj fic i posted. the one with the mirrors. you're so funny and easy to talk to. ty for letting me get to know you, even if its just thru hj pics LMFAO

@woahhwa - you're so cute, ru. like i was just in love with your blog. your work is always so good and it made me so happy to get to know you more. i need to know how you manage to be so cute ?? you make my cheeks hurt from smiling and i just wanna take you on a trip back home to the mountains and eat gol gappay with you. you're so amazing

@fallinforgyu - your blog is so cute. i just stumbled upon it and i read a couple of your fics and just fell in love. they're so well written and you're blog gives me cloudy rainy morning, with a cotton scented candle and white bedsheets and a book vibe. idk how to explain it but i feel so safe on your blog

@kurosism - you have the prettiest blog. its so so pretty. it gives me such good vibes. its so well formatted ?? idk how to explain it. but your fics are amazing and i love talking to you. you're very sweet :)

@dairyminki - your blog is so pretty. your fics are so good and we don't talk all that much but i enjoy your work and vibes. thank you for sharing your content with us <3

@devilzumi - i met you a while ago too. you were just so cool to me, i was very very intimidated and i was like :0 but you're actually so sweet. you act tough but you're actually just so cute. wanna kiss your nose. teehee <3

@yxnkigi - you're so fucking funny bro. i love every interaction with you. you're the cutest and i was so shocked to find out that you were also brown. you took interest in any of my desi writings (theres only one) but the thought of that made my heart soar. conversations with you are always fun <3

-

that took a while LMAO but i meant every single word i said. thank you for being apart of my 2021 and i hope our 2022 is great as well <3 !!!!!!!

[bruhstories]

Dazed and Confused

Summary: You and Connie have been friends for ten years, crushing on each other like a bunch of idiots who can't confess their feelings for one another. Until you go on a trip with your friends. Pairing: Connie Springer x Fem!Reader Warnings & Content: 18+, language, oral sex (female & male receiving), unprotected sex, weed smoking, alcohol consumption, f l u f f Word Count: 4.2 k

A/N: I got so pissed at that last anon that I finished this oneshot quicker lol. @fiaficsxo here it is!

You loved parties. Not the loud music and thick smoke, not the booze and smell of vomit, but your friends. Every time they gathered at someone's place, your heart fluttered, filled with happiness and content and long-lasting memories.

Connie had the brilliant idea of spending a week in the mountains during your spring break, and you wasted an entire night searching for the perfect cottage to rent. Luckily everyone was down with his suggestion, the only problem was how you'd sleep. Historia obviously wanted to share a room with Ymir. Mikasa and Eren were an item now, so they'd have to sleep together. Armin wanted to try his luck with Annie, so no one objected to that. Jean declared that he wanted to bunk with Connie, like the two eligible bachelors they were, and that left you and Sasha to share a room together. You didn't mind it, in all honesty you loved Sasha with all your heart — but you secretly hoped someone would pick up on your feelings for Connie and let you sleep with him. You weren't that lucky.

You packed your bag the night before the trip, obsessively ticking everything on your list and double checking every item and pocket. It was ready, with one item missing — the white lace babydoll smoothed on your dorm bed. You chewed the pen cap, debating whether to bring it with you or not. You bought it for special occasions, but you haven't had a dick appointment in a long time, and you doubted you'd have one this week. With a shrug, you decided to bring it — you never know what might happen. Nighttime passed quickly and you soon found yourself all dolled up, albeit still sleepy from all the tossing and turning, excited to make more memories with your friends.

The train station was packed with people, especially students who went back to their hometowns for the break, and you were relieved to find Armin and Mikasa there. You three were always punctual, followed by Jean and Annie. Eren, Sasha and Connie were always late, which is why you told them the train leaves at 7 am instead of 7:30. It was a dirty strategy, but no one wanted to miss such a fun opportunity because of those lazy fuckers. And lo and behold, they decided to appear at 7:15.

"That was some good thinking." Jean shook his head, hand sympathetically placed on your shoulder.

"I'm only glad you guys rolled with it." You laughed without noticing the way Connie stared at you, and even he didn't understand exactly what he felt. Was he grumpy because he hated morning, or was it Jean's hand on you that irked him?

"It's not polite to stare." Sasha pulled Connie out of his thoughts.

"I wasn't staring, I was looking." Connie rolled his eyes, gripping the handle of his suitcase a bit too tightly.

"I just don't get it why you don't tell her you like her." The girl popped a bubblegum baloon, proceeding to chew it very loudly.

"Are you kidding me? She obviously likes Jean. Look how she's laughing!"

Sasha placed an arm on his shoulder, a sheepish smile on her face. "You, my friend, are a dumbass."

"Takes one to know one."

To say that your friends were loud during the train ride was an understatement. They didn't really care about the nasty glares other passengers shot at them, opting to talk, sing, eat and practically embarrass themselves. But two hours later you arrived, and the fresh, crisp air of the mountains was a blessing. You didn't regret coming, all of you deserved a break after all the exams, studying and all-nighters you guys pulled.

"We could visit the military museum!" Armin suggested, but Connie scrunched his nose.

"We came here to get high, drink and spend time together, why the fuck would we visit some old ass building?"

"I'd like to go to the museum." You awkwardly smiled, earning a 'see?' from the blond. Mikasa, Eren and Annie backed you up, and since it was a democracy, you ended up leaving your bags at the cottage and touring the small town to find the military museum. The building wasn't massive, and inside it was dark, with crimson carpets and dim lights. It was actually quite a romantic atmosphere, had it not been for the weapons and armours displayed in glass cases. Connie watched you intently, taking in every movement, every flinch, every hair tucking, every scrunch of your cute nose. You absorbed the information, hungry for knowledge. This was something you and Connie didn't share — yes, you were down to drinking and smoking, but you were also eager to learn and study, while he always preached how 'you can always retake an exam but you can't relive a party.' He wasn't stupid by any means, but unlike you, Jean, Armin and Mikasa — who alwaysstudied and never skipped lectures — Connie would wing it and somehow end up getting better grades. His strategy didn't always work, and sometimes, when you were in college, he'd ask you to tutor him. Now you were second year undergraduates, and while you were studying different subjects, you still made time for each other.

"That's a nice, uhh..." Connie squinted, "...shotgun."

"It's a musket." You chuckled, your fingers accidentally brushing his as you turned around to face him.

"Shotgun, musket, same thing."

"Actually, muskets are muzzle-loaded and fire a single bullet, but shotguns pack multiple pellets in one shell." You explained. "I'm sorry, you're probably not interested in my ramblings."

"No, no, it's... interesting. I just wasn't expecting you to know so much about guns." He rubbed his nape and smiled at you.

"Well, I do study history, in case you forgot."

"How could I forget that?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" You awkwardly elbowed Connie. Why was it so hard for you to just tell him your feelings? Oh, right, because you've been friends for ten years and if he didn't like you back, it would only ruin a great friendship.

"It means you brag about it so much it's kind of hard to forget." He told you, quickly realising just how insulting that sounded.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that's how you felt..." You sighed, eyes darting back to the weapons.

"No, I didn't- forget it." Connie shook his head. Well played.

Back at the cottage, with enough food and booze to last the group a month, you decided to stay in your room for the rest of the day. It wasn't the first time you had embarrassing moments with Connie, but this particular one made you anxious to be around him. Did he really dislike you that much, or was it just friendly banter? If you were to ask him, you could find out, but every scenario in your head had a bad outcome, so avoiding him for now was the smartest choice. Sasha pleaded with you to spend the evening in the living room with everyone else, but you brushed her off, telling her you weren't feeling quite well.

"Text me if you need anything." She told you before leaving. It was immature to act this way, you knew that all too well, but it wasn't like Connie cared, right? You eventually decided to go downstairs after finishing a long episode of your favourite tv show, your stomach begging for nourishment. As silently as possible, you tiptoed behind the couch. The hallway was dim, the sun had already set, and the only lights were the ones from the wide TV screen in the living room where your friends were watching some corny horror movie. You could cut the suspense and tension with a knife, and when you dropped a teaspoon, everyone jumped.

"Sorry, sorry! It's just me!"

"Jesus Christ, Y/N, you almost gave me a heart attack." Jean got up from the floor and walked behind the couch. "How are you feeling? Sasha said you're ill."

"I'm fine, don't worry." You picked the spoon up and threw it in the sink. "It's just a headache, I'll sleep it off."

"Good, we need you here." The man wrapped an arm around you. "You're missing how Connie's crapping his pants at this shitty movie."

From the outside it would seem like you and Jean were a couple, but the truth was far from it. You two grew up together, his family was friends with your family, and what you had was nothing more than a brother-sister relationship. Jean's little remark earned a disgruntled look from Connie, you quickly picked up on that, and so you playfully jabbed him in the stomach.

"Connie's crapping his pants? You're the one who almost had a heart attack." You grinned.

"Oi, that was only because you dropped your stupid spoon. I was invested in the movie."

"Mhm, sure you were."

"Hey, you sure you don't want to join us?" Mikasa waved at you from the living room. You pondered over her question. Perhaps it wouldn't be too awkward to sit with them.

"Alright, sure, why not?"

"Come, sit next to me." Sasha shuffled to the side, but what she really meant by that was 'sit next to Connie', because she shuffled to the otherside.

The following two nights were surprisingly quiet, all you did was play board games, watch movies and walk around the town taking pictures. The tension between Connie and you seemed to dissipate, and you both forgot the unpleasant interaction you had on the first day. But on the fourth night, that's when shit hit the fan. Annie and Armin left for a date, and Eren and Mikasa wanted to spend the night alone in their room, leaving you, Sasha, Jean and Connie unsupervised, bored and tipsy. There was absolutely nothing good to watch on the TV, and you almost wanted to scream when your friends wanted to play truth or dare. It was one of those games you despised, because the whole point of it was to put the players in uncomfortable situations. And you didn't like being uncomfortable, unlike your friends.

"Jean, truth or dare?" Sasha beamed.

"Dare, duh."

"Alright, I dare you to switch roommates for the rest of the week." She sipped her blackberry cider.

"Okay? So, I'll stay with Y/N, then."

Good lord, if looks could kill, Connie's would annihilate Jean and Sasha off the face of the Earth.

"No, no, you'll stay with me. Y/N will stay with Connie."

"Eh? Why does your dare involve us?" You asked, confused and curious of your friend's proposal.

"Because." She shrugged. "Don't pussy out."

"I'm not pussying out. A dare's a dare." Jean scoffed. "I'm gonna go take my shit in your room and shower."

"Y-yeah, I'll go bring mine, too." You got up, using this time to hyperventilate alone. What the fuck was Sasha even thinking? Was this some stupid joke? But your friends wouldn't harm you, so why would she suggest such a stupid thing?

You took a quick shower before curling up in the bed, blankets covering you from neck to toe. Connie wasn't back yet, and you didn't want to go after him, that would just be odd. You were hoping you'd fall asleep before he returned, to avoid any unnecessary fuss, but just as you closed your eyes, the door opened. Maybe you could pretend you were asleep? He struggled to find his pyjamas in the dark, stumbling over furniture and knocking things down, and you turned the bedside lamp on to ease his search.

"Did I wake you up?" Connie bit his lower lip, and through the dim light you watched the way his grey eyes glistened, the way his short brown hair was ruffled, and how the sage green t-shirt hugged his toned abdomen.

"No, no, 's alright. I wasn't sleeping. I can't exactly fall asleep." You clutched the blanket at your chest as you shook the intrusive thoughts away. Connie was your friend, damn it, there was no room for romance between you.

"I can sleep on the floor if you want."

"Oh, God, no, it's... stiff."

"Um, yeah, it kinda is. Alright then, I'll jump in the shower real quick before going to bed." He stumbled into the bathroom and you really wanted to fall asleep now.

But you couldn't. Every time you closed your eyes, Connie's face popped in your head. So much for resting. You tossed and turned on the mattress, trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in, but nothing helped. It didn't take long for him to finish his shower, and you mentally chastised yourself for not falling asleep when you felt him shuffle under the same blanket that was covering you. For a minute, you didn't utter a word, you barely breathed, afraid to disturb the silence in the room.

"Are you asleep?"

"Nope." You heard the click of Connie's phone and turned around. You couldn't see him, but you could hear him.

"Do you wanna talk about something? Until we fall asleep, I mean." You suggested.

"Hmm, sure." He turned on his side and you felt his breath fanning over your cheeks. You were too close to him. "Actually, d'you wanna smoke?"

"Aren't the others gonna be mad if we smoke without them?"

"They don't have to know. Besides, you and I never smoked together." Connie was already up, rummaging through his backpack with the flashlight of his phone. "And then we can talk as much as you want."

"Alright, I'm down."

You laid on the floor, your head next to Connie's as you looked at the ceiling, smoke leaving your lips. He took the joint from you, fingers touching yours and you blushed, the haze of the weed melting your worries away.

"Do you want me to skip the song?" Connie asked, and for a moment you forgot there was a song playing.

"No, I like it." You confessed. "I didn't know you liked Led Zeppelin."

"There's lots of things you don't know about me, Y/N." He passed you the joint.

"Okay, tell me something else I don't know."

"I like it when you randomly say historical or scientific facts."

"Didn't you say I brag too much about it?" You took one final drag before you stubbed the joint out in a makeshift ashtray filled with a bit of water. By this point you were high as a kite, every trace of rationality gone.

"That doesn't mean I don't like it." Connie smiled and you could feel it in his voice. "Now you tell me something I don't know about you."

"I can't sleep with open doors. It freaks me out." You sat up, a breeze blowing through the window sending shivers down your spine. "It's a bit cold, do you mind if I close the window?"

"Go ahead."

You got up and picked the ashtray up but before you could close the window, you stumbled over a chest of drawers, the ashes mixed with water spilling over your t-shirt.

"You okay?" He quickly crawled to you, concern written all over his face.

"Yeah, I'm just clumsy." You laughed it off and waved your free hand. "I'll go get changed, I should have a spare shirt."

But you didn't have a spare shirt. All you had was that stupid white babydoll, and anxiety seeped through your veins. You couldn't exactly show up in that in front of your crush. And you didn't want to ask him for a shirt either. Fuck it, what else could you do?

You peeked out the bathroom door and saw Connie back in bed, lazily scrolling through his phone. God, this was embarrassing.

"You look like you've seen a ghost." He laughed, but when your facial expression didn't change, he frowned. "Y/N?"

"Um, so, I didn't have a spare shirt and- Jesus, this is awkward." You opened the door and his eyes widened. "Is it alright if I sleep in this?"

"Oh, I get it now." Connie scoffed.

"Get what?"

"You were hoping you'd share a room with Jean, right?" He sounded almost disgusted.

"Excuse you? Where did you even get that idea?" You slammed the bathroom door shut, arms folded across your chest.

"I'm not stupid, Y/N. I've seen the way you two act. Do yourselves a favour and just fuck already."

You were speechless. Completely reactionless. The weed amplified your anger, but his words brought tears to your eyes.

"You... you fucking asshole! You think I brought this for Jean? I brought it for you!"

"Eh? M-me?" Connie was confused, and you were pissed.

"Yes, you. Jean's like a brother to me, oh my God! Ew!"

"Wait, so you and Jean are not in love with each other?"

"In love?? Connie, how high are you exactly?" You walked closer to the bed, arms still crossed.

"But- Fuck, I am stupid." He shook his head, the memories of you flirting with him flashing before his eyes. "I fucked up, didn't I?"

"A bit..." Your muscles relaxed and you sat on the mattress. "Really, Connie, I... I like you. A lot. But you're always giving me mixed signals."

"That's because I always thought you liked Jean!" He threw his hands in the air in exasperation.

"No, you're the only one."

"Huh, guess I've really been dazed and confused."

Calloused fingertips ran across your hips leaving goosebumps in their trail. Your hands roamed his back and the way Connie kissed you was better than any high you've ever experienced. He was touch-starved, and you were just as needy. His knee found its place between your thighs and you moaned when it barely brushed your cunt.

"I've been dreaming for this moment for as long as I can remember." Connie breathed into your neck, the hot breath tickling your skin.

"Me too, you blind bat." You laughed and he turned you over, hovering over you.

"'M sorry I didn't notice quicker." He kissed you again. One hand travelled lower, pushing your underwear to the side before he pushed two fingers between your folds. "Fuck, you're so wet."

"Well, at least now I don't have to finger myself thinking about you." You whimpered with a grin.

"Oh?" Connie arched a brow. "Is that what you've been doing?" He curled up his fingers and you threw your head back with a moan. "I thought you were a prude."

"T-there's lots of things you d-don't know about m-me!" You replied back between oh’sand ah’s, imitating his words from an hour ago. That only earned a sneer from Connie, his head dipping between your thighs. "Wait, what are you do- ooh fuck!"

His tongue lapped at your cunt, fingers pumping in and out of you, and you completely sunk into the mattress, moaning his name over and over again. You gripped the sheets, flexing the muscles in your legs as you squirmed and thrashed. Connie stopped and you almost crushed his skull with your thighs at the empty feeling. He pulled your underwear down and shoved the cotton panties in your mouth.

"Don't wake everyone up, Y/N. You don't want them knowing what a little slut you are, do you?"

You shook your head and Connie went back to circling your clit with his tongue, adrenaline rushing through your entire body with each lick, each suck. Tears of pleasure pooled at your eyes, nose and cheeks red from the thrill of your incoming orgasm. The way he was sloppily eating your pussy and moaning while doing it drove you insane, and within seconds you came undone, thighs trembling with delight. In fact, you were so sore you had to push his head back, begging him to stop so you could return the favour.

"You taste so sweet." Connie licked his lips. You don't know what possessed you to pull him into a kiss after you removed the makeshift gag, but he was right, you were sweet.

"Can I...?" Your eyes drifted down to his twitching cock, your voice soft and quiet.

"You wanna suck it?"

"Yes."

"Later. Right now, I wanna fuck you."

Connie gave you no time to protest, his elbow pushed one of your things to the side, the blushing tip of his cock grazing over your overstimulated clit, up and down your slit. Inch by inch it disappeared into your cunt and he let out a satisfied sigh. You bucked your hips, manicured nails digging into his shoulders with each thrust.

"Shit, you're so fucking tight!" Connie growled, head lowering to kiss you. You could still taste yourself on his lips and that only made you clench your spongy walls around his cock. That seemed to please him, because he rocked his hips harder and faster. "You like it?"

"Oh, God, yes!" You gasped, beads of sweat forming on your forehead as you clawed his back.

"Fuck, I want you to ride me." He gripped your hips tighter and turned you over. You tried your best to get in the new position without letting his cock slip out of you, and when you finally adjusted yourself, it was a whole new challenge. Gravity pulled you down, and his tip brushed your cervix, your eyes squinting at the slight pain. "If it hurts, stop-"

"No!" You cried out, your hands resting on his chest. You bounced up and down, the uncomfortable feeling slowly replaced with pleasure. Connie's hands traced your thighs as you rode him, another wave of heat flushing through your core. His palm met your cunt, thumb circling over your clit. "I can't c-come again!"

"Yes, you can. And you will cream on my cock."

The disgust words worked like magic and you flexed your thighs, bouncing faster, head thrown back, hair cascading down your back. "You're so beautiful, Y/N."

"Connie, I-" The words stopped in your throat, the pressure too much for you to handle.

"You what?"

"I'm- oh, God!"

"Atta girl!" He praised you when he felt your silken walls relaxing and your thighs quaking. The second orgasm was so intense you let yourself fall over his chest, dizzy and tired. You thought he'd give you a break, but Connie wrapped an arm around your back, holding you in place before giving your oversensitive cunt a few more thrusts. "Now you can return the favour."

You mustered up some strength to get up and kneel in front of the bed, between his legs.

"Please don't come in my mouth." You asked him before wrapping your pretty lips around his cock.

"Gotchaah-" Connie choked on his words when he felt himself in your hot mouth. You bobbed your head up and down, cheeks hollowed and eyes on him. You didn't break eye contact when you pulled away and spat on the tip, hand pumping his cock to smear the spit. "Hot." He mumbled before you went back to sucking. You felt the throbbing, tightening your lips around him and picking up the pace. "Y/N-"

It all happened in a flash — Connie yanked your hair and pulled your head back, thick ropes of milky white cum shooting all over your face and neck.

"Eew!" You scrunched your nose, hand under your chin to stop it from dripping down the floor.

"What do you mean ew? That's, like, a billion kids!"

"Actually, a fertile man produces around-"

"Don't start. Do not." He pressed his index finger over your lips. "Let's get you cleaned up."

You woke up sore, especially between your thighs, but damn, was it worth it. Connie wrapped an arm around your waist, mumbling something about how pretty you are, but you assumed he was still sleeping — or still high. The sun shone through the blinds and you squinted, annoyed by the brightness, and so you turned around, watching the way your crush snored peacefully.

"Cute." You smiled and planted a kiss on his forehead, waking him up. "Oh, I'm sorry!"

"Why?" Connie rubbed his eyes. "Waking up to you is a blessing."

You couldn't hide the tinting of your cheeks and the grin on your lips. "I didn't think you were the romantic type."

"There's lots of things-"

"I don't know about you. But I'd like to know those things. If you let me, of course." You bit your lower lip, eyes filled with hope.

"Can I be your boyfriend?" He sat up, his eyes serious.

"I thought you'd never ask."

Okay, so maybe Sasha knew a thing or two when she dared Jean to switch roommates.

You walked into the kitchen after getting ready for the day, with Connie following behind you. Everyone was eating their breakfast, and Jean instantly dashed to you.

"Connie, bro, take me back. Sasha's leaving crumbs all over the bed! I can't sleep like that!"

"I can't, man, I wanna spend the rest of the week with my girlfriend." He sneered and you elbowed him.

"I forgot to mention Jean's overprotecti-"

"Your what? Hands off my sister from another mister, you creep!"

"Creep? You're the one who was sexting someone's sister last night." Sasha chimed in, mouth full of cereal.

"Thanks, Sash." Jean rolled his eyes. "For real, how did this happen?"

"You see, mate, when a man and a woman love each other-"

"Nope. I will not hear this."