#i'm so sorry this is so long. thank you for humoring me. bless u

[maedaeme]

OUGH ALRIGHT magni backstory ramble time under the cut. was putting this off just in case i wanted to make changes but now i'm committed.

and later im not going to be able to stop myself from rambling abt his companion connections at length so i'm dropping this here as the starting point to keep me CONSISTENT.

refers to mild act 2 spoilers because I need to be a little bit unhinged about things. currently in act 3, but i'm saving that for later because there is so much happening. anyway

bullet point backstory bc it's 11 pm. what up.

used to be a priest(ess) of lolth. raised among devout lolth-sworn, which of course gives him baggage he doesn't even realize exists until like halfway through the game.

'i had a normal childhood' - guy who very much did not have a normal childhood. am i projecting my religious trauma here. who can say

very committed. basically used serving lolth as an elaborate excuse to get away with whatever selfish whims popped into his head

worked alongside two other, equally terrible priestesses under the mutual understanding that they were only 'allies' until they could stab each other in the back

last one standing is loth's fav. you know how it is

did in fact get stabbed in the back when one of them uncovered a secret of his and used it to oust him

fully accepted he was going to get sacrificed to lolth. was pretty chill with it, actually. as far as he was concerned it only made sense.

the priestess who ousted him decided it would be meaner to banish him to the surface instead

she was correct.

became SO INCENSED at being told he was not a worthy sacrifice that it became ALL he cared about

like. he refused to wrap his brain around it, so he just went 'fine, i will claw my way up from the dirt and eat bugs or whatever and i WILL become so fucking impressive that when i come back DOWN here you will HAVE to sacrifice me. that's how good i'll be.

'also maybe i'll trans my gender while i'm at it bc at this point I Have Nothing To Lose'

lost ability to use magic in the middle of this and just refused to think about the 'god abandoned me' implications

knew nothing about the surface. broke into places, stole, and murdered to survive. discovered life was easier if you got good at lying, just in case you got caught stealing. and he was already Very good at lying.

once he got it all figured out, he fell into organized crime VERY easily, while still secretly holding onto his General Disdain for everyone around him. this was not hard to do. people are shitty to you when you're a drow.

spent a couple decades fighting, stealing, and occasionally murdering if you paid him or annoyed him enough. mentally tucks away all of the crimes he does as 'for lolth' even though he's lowkey aware that's not how that works. there's a bunch of complicated stuff going on in his brain up there and he is avoiding all of it.

basically he starts the game an expert manipulator who FULLY expects to just eventually murder these people he keeps picking up because it Has to be that way, except thru act 1 he. doesn't. and then he starts to get used to them. enough that at camp he starts to drop his Eternal Performance, which everyone initially writes off as 'magni being weirdly dismissive and blunt for some reason' until late act 1 when they realize 'oh wait. that's what he's REALLY LIKE. he was LYING.'

his feelings towards the companions and himself and his goals get incredibly complicated. sometimes he sucks. sometimes he doesn't. gale makes him ask himself questions he does not want to know the answer to, but he can't just let it GO now that he's asking them. the people around him are trusting him with their deepest secrets and desires and it is FREAKING HIM OUT because he doesn't know how to do anything with secrets except destroy. so he drops the act further thru act 2. except they're still doing it. because they know what he's like by now. and they know that sometimes! he refrains from doing the mean selfish thing! because they wouldn't like it! and he hates that he feels that way and is occasionally halfheartedly mean and petty later like it's going to make the uncomfortable taste in his mouth go away but he is forming attachments to these people and there is NOTHING he can do about that

anyway. i'm going to shake my laptop later re: gale being asked to Explode by his god and how it forces magni to look literally his Only Driving Goal For Decades (getting eaten by spiders) in the face and ask himself if that's really what he wanted, but i'm in full hyperfixation mode. also he just rly loves astarion. he can't say that word though. feels wrong in his mouth

it's also put him in the weird act 3 spot of being the person who has already ASKED himself the hard questions that everyone else is now asking. he is, for the first time ever, somewhat the reasonable one. which means he's gotta accept he thinks differently about things than he used to. which he doesn't like. but he's embraced the softness, he just doesn't want you to mention it.

and sometimes he just goes and stands in a cold lake at 1 am so he doesn't have to think about anything. you know how it goes

[confetti-cake-key]

Kpop Q&A Tag

I was tagged by the lovely @sufferhyuns to answer these questions. Thank you so much for tagging me dear!! 💕 I know that I've done this at least once before, but why not do it again! I think on the last one I just dumped every answer I could so maybe this time it will be more organized and concise.

1.) Ultimate Bias?

What can I say other than I've become one of Key's lil' freaks. When I first started learning SHINee I could only recognize him from his eyebrow scar, and I have come to learn and appreciate so much more since then. This man is not only extremely attractive; he honestly has one of the sweetest hearts, has an amazing sense of humor and is one of the most honest idols I've seen. This man is also so talented and yet I feel as if he is not appreciated enough. If you haven't listened to his album 'FACE', I highly recommend listening to it. Every song is unique and an absolute treasure. This boy is such an inspiration to me.

2.) Ultimate Bias Wrecker?

This is not going to be a shock to most of you, but there has always been one man who has been my ultimate bias wrecker. His name is Kim Jonghyun!! This man is one of the most precious human beings to ever grace this Earth. His vocals are one of a kind, and his music never fails to comfort me and calm me down when I need it most. Jonghyun's music is just so expressive, emotional and are so artistically distinct to Jonghyun. His beautiful music equally reflects his beautiful heart and soul. 🌙💕

(And Minho continues to be the ultimate shawol among us, bless 🙏🙏🙏)

But honestly, I would do anything for the five boys of SHINee. They have been a source of strength for me for so long, and I will always love all five of them! (They're good boys Brent!!)

3.) Favorite Kpop song?

There are so many songs that hold a special place in my heart, and one of the most prominent songs is SHINee's song 'Symptoms'. I love everything about that song, as well as the performances for it. I highly recommend it, if you haven't listened to it!

4.) First Kpop song?

The very first Kpop song that I was introduced to was B1A4's "Beautiful night". I was also introduced to Super juniors "Sorry sorry" at the same time.

5.) Favorite album/single?

I'm going to exclude solo albums or this list is gonna be out of control!

My top 3 SHINee albums:

Sherlock, Everybody and The misconceptions of Us (Bonus: fave Japanese albums- Five and Boys meet u)

For other albums that are not SHINee:

B.A.P- Noir & Carnival, Boyfriend- Witch, CNBLUE- Blueming, KNK- Gravity (completed), Monsta x- The connect and NU'EST- Re:birth.

All great albums with amazing music!! I highly recommend them! (I'm also probably missing some but this is my shortlist)

6.) Hard or Soft Stan?

As much as I love soft concepts, I have a feeling that I tend to lean towards hard concepts just because I have a weakness for leather jackets and pinstriped suits. I know what I like and it's sharply dressed people. (Also if someone has pink hair then they automatically have my respect)

7.) Favorite Kpop company?

I'll pass thx

8.) Backstory?

A couple years ago, me and one friend wanted to get into kpop in order to bond more with our mutual friend since she had known about it since high school. To be honest, I didn't think I could get into kpop but boy was I wrong!

I'm tagging (if you want to, of course): @mias97, @gwiyonew, @hisnameisminho, @monbebana, @1991shinwoo, @wishfulunicorns and @teddybear-march.