#i'm so sorry for clogging your dash with this i just don't have anywhere to put this other than a diary and i don't have one on me right now
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#this is a scream into the void don't read unless you want to#i'm so done and i just want next week to arrive already#i don't know anything about what's happening next week#i haven't been told anything other than get there for the morning#i haven't seen anyone apart from my family really for weeks#all my friends have been busy and my best friend came over just to do induction work#we didn't talk at all#i'm lonely and i miss my friends#it's been three weeks since i last spent any quality time with any of them and i'm used to seeing them every day#to top it all off i have to be in the same room as my ex on monday and the last time i saw them through the window of a coffee shop#it still felt like i was being punched in the stomach and it's been 5 months#i don't know what i'm doing next and i don't know anything and everything was so clearly laid out in my head for what i was doing before#and i don't even know what subjects i'm doing because i still haven't fully decided#the only thing i know is that i'm doing a comparison of birdhouse on the side which will be nice#i just want to know what i'm up against and what's going to happen next#what my general direction is because i have no fucking clue at this point#my head's been a mess since the week before results day and while i'm miles better i'm still not right#i want to know if all of it is going to be worth it#if what comes next is going to be worth all the effort i put into it and i'm going to enjoy it and so many other things#i'm so sorry for clogging your dash with this i just don't have anywhere to put this other than a diary and i don't have one on me right now#vetty talks#delete later#screaming into the void
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I'm going to bed now
Not because I'm tired
But because I uttered literally one syllable of one laugh (think HA! but muffled cause I ///deliberately kept my mouth shut/// so it wouldn't be too loud) and my mom's bitchy whisper came from across the room to shush me
Excuse me for existing at an hour that does not please you, like damn
#I'm absolutely livid rn#and I'd actually cheered up from earlier until she got onto me#i hate family vacations so fucking much#i regret agreeing to come#i was just trying to be social and decent for once#and now I'm just laying awake in a hotel room#missing my pets#and hating the other inhabitants of the room#fuck my fucking life#i should've stayed with my dad#i almost did too#but he's only not here cause he had to work#and i didn't want to be the bratty teen that ditched thanksgiving#I'm sorry for clogging your dash#i don't really have anywhere else to vent#j rambles#ignore this
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