#i'm so sad it's a disappearing drifting on both ends and they're not fighting it bc they have low expectations of each other and don't think

[maraczeks]

bcs s4 thread pt 2

[naoa-ao3]

Making Up As We Go

They've had a fight but it's nothing new.

Remy sits outside and smokes, the mansion is still around him and he feels bad about the fight now.

It was a stupid thing, he'd made a joke and she'd gotten angry and he'd responded by being petulant and they'd both been stubborn and now they're on different ends of the house. Different ends of the manor.

He sits and pouts on the roof, avoiding the others who always have opinions, even when it has nothing to do with them.

he think's that's the problem with too many people living together in one house. They can't avoid each other.

The moon shines over head and he sighs to himself.

They'll have to make up and just for once he grows tired of it. Tired of the dance and the fighting.

It's half his fault, this fight.

Two stubborn people with too many feelings. Maybe they're both idiots in some way. This happens too often and he's never seen Scott and Jean go at it like this. They're like the opposite of the golden couple. Idiots.

After all, how the hell are you supposed to get close to a woman you can't even touch?

He sighs to himself and looks down at his cigarette. It's almost out. Great. Another thing he'll have to deal with. Lighting another or calling it quits.

He wishes they didn't fight so much. Wishes they could be like Scott and Jean and kiss and make love and be good and perfect. . .

People are always warning him not to break her heart but if they only knew how much his own hurt at times like this then he thinks maybe they might not have been so quick to open their mouths. Still, he understands why they say it and he doesn't want to hurt her. Not ever.

He hates fighting with her. Rogue is his other half, he's known that since the day he met her. It's impossible to deny and yet. . .

He knows he wouldn't have fallen in love with a woman any less passionate. There was probably never a chance of them not fighting. He loves fighting with her almost as much as flirting some times because he loves anything he does with her.

It's stupid. It's why they're in this situation in the first place.

No one is mad, they're both just stubborn and probably too proud for their own good.

He lights another cigarette, feeling entitled to it while he feels sorry for himself and puffs away, watching the smoke drift off and disappear into the darkness above him.

These are the pitfalls of trying to manage a relationship. Of trying to be with someone. Sometimes there are bad moments but it's nothing a little humility won't fix, nothing they can't kiss and make up.

Well. . . kissing might be the wrong word but he's decided he's going to be with someone he can't touch and he's made up his mind on that. He'll find a way and as he thinks about it he feels better, he feels relieved to have the chance.

They always seem to make up, the two of them.

They both know their faults and that helps. Maybe it'll help them to last longer than Scott and Jean but he doubts it. Those two are perfect.

He finishes his second cigarette and get's up, thinking it's time.

It's time to make up and it's better he makes the first move, she might be just a little more stubborn than even he is.

He heads in and looks for Rogue, finding her in her room getting ready for bed.

He can see in her eyes she wants to make up but he plays the part, dancing the dance and leans in the doorway, watching her.

"What do you want, Cajun?" She asks but there's no bite to her voice, she sounds almost sad.

"Nothing." He says. "Jus' thought it was stupid we had a fight."

She shrugs and sits on the bed, looking at him now. "Yeah, pretty stupid." She says, tucking her hair back.

He looks at her, they're proud people. It's a problem in some cases but they know how to speak each other's language. They know how to make up.

"You gonna stay mad, Chere?" He asks.

She shakes her head, making a face and sniffing as though she's turned off by the idea. "I don't think so." She say's.

"Good, cause I'm already not."

Green eyes find him and he feels better.

She sighs and he wishes he could grab her up, hold her properly and kiss her.

Instead he comes and puts a hand on her thigh. She's got long pajamas on. It gives him the illusion of what he wants.

"I don' like fighting with you, Chere." He say's, serious as the grave. "Eats me up."

"It was only a little fight, Remy." She say's, voice softer than he'd expected.

He shrugs and he wants to put his head down on her knees, wants to show her how much he doesn't want to fight. He wonders if she'd let him.

"I don't like fighting with you either." She say's, voice still soft and warm.

He nods and she takes his hand in her still gloved ones.

She never get's a moment to be careless, it's one of the greatest cruelties of their world.

"Den let's not fight any more tonight." He say's.

She yawns and holds his hand a moment. "I can do that."

God he wants to kiss her, he could almost be angry about it except that it won't change anything.

They don't have an ordinary relationship, with them there's work and it's so frustrating. It's just so damn frustrating but he loves her and he loves everything about her from her temper to the danger that comes with loving her.

"Wish I could kiss you, chere." He whispers, squeezing her hand.

"Me too, Remy." She says, squeezing back. "Me too." She sounds small when she say's it. Genuine.

They lean against each other, it's safe. It's almost like what other couples get and through the piteous denial of the flesh, he knows he's never loved another woman like this.

Knows he probably never will again.

They may not be perfect but they do love each other and it's moments like this, moments when they come back to each other that refuse to let him forget it. It's in these moments that he might just love her the most.

Making up is almost like making out for them. An endless dance that never quite finishes.

[milks-writings]

You wrote an angst! So, I'm a Sakusa stan, and I see A LOT of fluffy&nsfw fics but never saw an angst about him, so I wanted to request Sakusa x f!reader to my fav blog where they're having a complicated moment and it's affecting the relationship (it can be stress, work, school, team...), so the reader decided to take a break and "avoid" Sakusa to think, and I wANT TO SEE THIS GUY CRY!! Y'know like those Bruno Mars can I just stay here, spend the rest of my days here vibes 😔✊🏼LMFAO! Thank you!

✿.｡.:*☆.:*:*:.☆*.:｡.✿.✿.｡.:*☆.:*:*:.☆*.:｡.✿.

☆*.:｡.✿ 𝕡𝕒𝕚𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘: Kiyoomi Sakusa x Fem!Reader

☆*.:｡.✿ 𝕡𝕝𝕠𝕥: You two start to drift apart, and from this second on Kiyoomi noticed how much he needed you in his life

☆*.:｡.✿ 𝕘𝕖𝕟𝕣𝕖: angst, I made a fluff ending because he deserves the best 🥰

☆*.:｡.✿ 𝕨𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤: swearing

☆*.:｡.✿ 𝕒/𝕟: Yes, more love for omi-omi 🥺 also, thank you so much for being your fave writer blog adojfyodf it means a lot to me 🥺❤

I recommend listening to sad songs about love while reading this

☆*.:｡.✿ 𝕞𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥

☆*.:｡.✿ Scenario:

It’ll be alright

How long did you stand there, in front of the gym to wait for him?

How long did you think about taking a break, because of him?

How long did you let your heart get broken, but never mention anything because you didn’t want to affect him and his career?

You knew about how much he wanted to get a professional volleyball player, you knew about how much volleyball meant to him, yet you were still jealous.

Was volleyball so much better than you?

Was volleyball more important to him than you were?

Honestly, you didn’t want to know the answer.

Honestly, you knew the answer already.

Of course, it was more important.

Every day, you faced the same things over and over again. You let the insecurities take over you, you let those feelings eat you out, all your happiness got eaten up by the only smallest insecurity.

Not only your insecurities were eating you up, but also those rumors about him not liking you. About him only being together with you so he wouldn’t be alone. You knew those weren’t true, but why did it hurt more and more every time you heard them?

You had to talk to him, to your boyfriend, you wanted to talk to him, but every time you tried, he would make a comment about how you should wash your hands or rinse them with antiseptic, or how you should stop being too clingy, because “You know that I am a germophobe and yet you still do anything to disgust me”

It hurt more than it should.

He was a germophobe, but that wasn’t your problem. Your problem was; Saksua Kiyoomi.

And this time, you decided to not face your problem.

This time, you had to think about everything that was happening around you.

Though, before you decided to leave the gym you had been waiting in front of every day, you stayed. Maybe, you hoped that he would suddenly run out and hug you, apologize for being too ignorant in the last days because of the nationals coming up soon, maybe some part of you hoped that suddenly everything would get fine, that he would clear you up, but you were smart enough to realize after a few more minutes than this would never happen.

So after finally, your legs started to move, even though it was reluctantly, you still walked away, to your house.

He never let you join the practice, because of ‘reasons’.

Was he embarrassed that he was together with you?

Maybe he should’ve told you that you would only distract him with your beauty.

Maybe he should’ve told you more often how much he loves you, but he always refused to do so since he would get teased by his classmates for that.

But he only now noticed, that it would’ve been worth it. All those teases would have been worth it if it would make you feel more loved and less insecure.

He only noticed that he should’ve treated you better after leaving the gym, expecting you to wait for him, and tell him about your day.

Tell him about how annoying some classmates had been, tell him how good he looked every day.

But no matter how much he wished for you to come back, for you to wait after practice, he never had seen you ever since that day.

He couldn’t even say goodbye to you.

Since you knew which classes he had, you could manage to avoid him pretty well, but he didn’t even try to text you, he didn’t try to call you, or to ask one of your friends where you had been.

Or did he?

One week passed, without you seeing him once. You needed time to think about this all, those rumors, those things which had been up in your head, everything.

It was Friday the day you passed on the gym, you wanted to stay, you wanted to hug him and tell him how much you missed him, yet you still walked away.

And there he caught you, suddenly coming out from the corner, and stared at you for a moment.

He skipped practice for the first time, and you were the reason for it.

“Were you avoiding me?” His voice was steady, and you had to admit, you missed his voice much more than you thought.

“No” You wanted to walk away, you wanted to be mad at him for being an asshole to you, yet you still stood there and hoped for him to make a move, for him to make things better between you two, to finally clean his mess up.

“I know you were” he frowned a little and pulled the mask down to his chin he had been wearing all the time while approaching you. This time, his voice wasn’t as steady as before.

He was crying.

The tears were flowing down his cheeks, so easily.

You had never seen him cry before, you thought you would never see him cry, not even at your wedding, not even if you die before him, but he was there, crying in front of you.

His arms wrapped around your figure, and he put his chin on your head “I am sorry” he sobbed quietly, his grip tightening around you.

Now, you really couldn’t resist this.

Your arms slowly wrapped around him, while taking in his scent, the scent you missed so much.

“I swear I will make up for what happened” he added, holding onto you like you would disappear every second like you would suddenly get dust every second, but you stayed.

He always wanted to keep his pride, but for you, he would give up everything to make you happy.

“Just please, stop avoiding me, I can make up everything I have done wrong” his sobs didn’t stop, so you started to gently rub his back.

“Kiyoomi” the was his name left your mouth was something special.

It sounded like music to his ears, and every time you would call him by his name, he would just get all soft for you. He could listen to it so often, but he would never get tired of it.

“If you want to you can stay from now on while practicing in the hall, if you want to I can tell you how I feel more often, just please stay with me”

“Kiyoomi, it’s okay please calm down” you started to rub his back a little more, and he seemed to have forgotten about everything.

About every germ, about his phobia, about that everyone could be watching you two, but right now, he didn’t care.

He just wanted to know that you two would get back into good terms again, maybe even better terms.

Cupping your face, he stared down at you. God damn, how much he missed your pouty face, how much he missed every single feature on your face. “I love you, y/n)”

He stopped crying, and after you cracked a smile, he felt so relieved, it was a way better feeling than winning a volleyball game.

“I love you too Kiyoomi”

And from this day on, you two started to finally talk things out.

He started to worship you more and more, and you did too.

He always made sure to make you feel loved and would try that his phobia, the rumors, or your insecurities wouldn’t get between them.

Whenever he would make a disgusted face though, because you touched something he would never, it didn’t affect you anymore.

Because you started to understand, and he started to understand too.

You both started to meet in the middle if you couldn’t agree onto something, but you would lie if you said that there hadn’t been any fights anymore.

Though, you would be also lying if you would say that they hadn’t gotten any better.