#i'm so glad that people watch it and get traumatised and that i'm not alone lmao

[morszipan]

Matthew McCounaghey as Ward Jensen in The Paperboy (2012), dir.Lee Daniels

[funfettiheart]

Spoilers for the new season of The Umbrella Academy

I think one of the (many) things that really fucked up this season of TUA for me was how they could NEVER keep any of the siblings in the same room for 5 minutes. 2 or 3 of them would go and do one thing and then everyone else would just??? fuck off? and they constantly seemed to forget that any of the other siblings existed.

The plot felt so disjointed and slow but at the same time rushed because at no point did anyone TALK to one another. I know theyre all dealing with their own shit but the most interesting part is watching them deal with it TOGETHER and seeing how each person reacts to stuff happening. But they barely speak to each other, not that any of the subplots were connected to the main plot in any way. What was up with the subway? We'll never know. Why did they get new powers? No idea. Why does Reginalds wife just appear near the end to go "AHA! It was me all along!" like??? Why was Reginald an alien? Why was Jennifer in a squid? How does the main cast dying get rid of the cleanse when there are at least 36 other children born with marigold powers?????

Also, getting new powers from the marigold should have been way more interesting! A new start, a new problem! Or at least a big change? But it wasnt because none of the characters gave a shit! Which has been one of my biggest ongoing gripes about the series: None of the characters care about what is happening. Klaus can literally fly now and there is 0 reaction. Luthers hairy again, whatever. Allison is telekinetic now??? Who gives a shit. Fuck it: KLAUS WAS SEX TRAFFICKED AND THEN BURRIED ALIVE AND NO ONE CARED.

In fact the way the characters are all treated was downright cruel. Luther could have had some much needed depth after what happened with Allison but was reduced to a dumb guy in shiny pants. Bens a dick and becomes obsessed with a woman he's just met and the entire rest of his plot is just that. Lila ricochetes between Diego and Five and is basically just The Wife when her whole thing was being a wildcard assassin. Diego was reduced to a suspicious moron and was the butt of a load of fat jokes for some reason. Allison flashed her new powers around twice and barely appeared in the plot. Victor goes to live out his dream of working for his abusive father. Five got trapped. Again. Klaus went through hell. Alone. Again.

It felt like they forgot how to write more than 2 people interacting. Fuck it felt like they forgot EVERYTHING THE CHARACTERS WERE AND WENT THROUGH IN THE PAST 3 SEASONS. To the point where whole arcs and side characters that were vital to the plot vanish.

And then finally they had this big dramatic ending... where they all kill themselves to save the world. And I felt nothing but dissappointment. The deaths of these characters that I'd seen for seasons, that I cared about and enjoyed left me thinking "I'm glad thats over" because the characters weren't even themselves any more. They fought so hard over the past few seasons to be alive and to live how they wanted and to get away from the horrific trauma that Reginald had put them through. And then the finale is them just... calmly committing suicide with none of their issues resolved. Not to mention the endless plotholes and dropped narrative threads. I'm honestly angry that this is the ending they settled on. "Youre damaged and traumatised and all of this is your fault and it always will be. Now go die about it". How miserable. How poorly thought out. What a perfect ending for season 4.

Sorry this is such a long rant, I have a lot of feelings. But most importantly: Sorry Gerard Way.

[hxhhasmysoul]

Just see this in twitter by someone :

"Why do people read shonen for subtextual doomed yaoi click bait when X exists and you don’t have to pretend?"

"I'm starting to think maybe people should read actual BL manga. perhaps considering manga written with actual gay characters in it in addition to shipping m x m from whatever battle shounen you're into."

Like because of those subtext, there can be fanfics and fanarts, right? And then I decided to come here, this blog of yours is one of my favorite place...

First of, thank you for the kind words. I'm glad you're enjoying my blog even if it's a hot mess at times.

While I enjoy my ships that I have from the shounes I like, I didn't read /watch HxH or JJK for the ships. When I first watched the HxH anime it was after years of deep depression where I stopped reading things and watching things or playing games with plots. I'd just put forgettable shows or youtube videos in the background and play some mind numbing click game if I wasn't working.

I literally don't remember anything from that time, at least I was semi functional then, I had worse times. But summer was the worst, I didn't make much money generally but over the summer I had like one fifth of my regular work load at best and I just couldn't handle the existential dread and anxiety.

And I was watching videos of people speaking about media i knew all day and eventually I ran out of those that were about stuff I knew but I liked the person's voice so I clicked onto videos about stuff i didn't. And things they said about HxH made me go: really? And it was something about the last phase of the Hunter's Exam, it had nothing to do with any ship.

And I made the effort to watch a whole ass fucking anime. Like 100+ episodes. In about 5 days. It had characters I really started to love early on like Gon and Killua or Melody and train-wreck characters like Hisoka or Illumi that I couldn't stop myself from looking at with utter fascination, like wtf. And it had these intertwining plot lines and it didn't focus on just one character and Gon didn't even fight some of the bosses and the plot just veered into places I didn't expect but in the best fucking way possible and in the Chimera Ant arc it was really going from bad to worse and getting more tense and painful and the sense of dread and doom was mounting ... and it traumatised me. And I didn't know what to do with myself and for the first time ever I turned to fandom to process what I've experienced. And yeah I came out of convince that Gon and Killua loved each other in a romantic way and it was very important but like I didn't go into it or even kept watching for that.

HxH unlocked in me the ability to enjoy stuff again. To actually interact with media. It made me write alone again, not just co-write with a friend.

And like I don't watch/read that much. I don't have the time or energy, I also want to keep enjoying fandom and that takes up time and write my own stuff.

I don't even remember why I watched JJK. I knew absolutely nothing about it going, not who the characters were, not what the plot was. Like I must've read some blurb but I really don't know. And like episode one and I loved Yuuji and I just kept watching and the Junpei episodes came and I had to stop watching for a day and collect myself because how could they you know, how could they to my child... And after I finished the anime I read the manga and it was better? And worse, so much more traumatising.

But JJK is my kind of story too, it doesn't overfocus on one character, it has intertwining plots. It has some characters that I love or am fascinated by.

Years ago I used to read a lot of BL but none really stuck with me because they weren't that much my kind of stories. I'm not saying they were bad, they just weren't it for me.

But this is why I read HxH or JJK. The shipping for me is the result, not the reason. I just want more with the characters I love, more situations more emotions. So I love the fanart and the fanfic and it really adds to my enjoyment of these characters and their stories.

But also everyone is different and reads for different reasons. So people who say you should read X instead are really presumptuous, the imagine that they understand why someone enjoys something, what experiences and emotions they are after. And like maybe there are BL stories with characters like Gon and Killua and Yuuji, there are certainly BL stories with guys with kinda Sukuna vibes, I vaguely remember that. It's just that I haven't stumbled upon any that'd have the other factors too that make me enjoy HxH or JJK. Maybe I will encounter them and enjoy them but with how much time and energy I have, I likely won't go out there to look for them to prove someone's point that I'd just enjoy those hypothetical stories more.

There's this annoying culture in fandom where people expect others to justify why they enjoy things. And it's not enough for you to have a reason to like something, the reason will be scritinised and it's validity will be judged. And those people who feel that need to play judge to what others enjoy and and how, they really make fandom and online spaces worse for everyone. They are like those nosy neighbours who stand in their window all day watching what everyone else is doing. And we all know that the window neighbours are creepy, but somehow the fandom judges are not called nosy and creepy enough and honestly they should be. Because honestly they should mind their fucking business.

[air--so--sweet]

Spoilers The Umbrella Academy Season 4 episode 4 spoilers

Oof, so I know that Klaus working as a medium for the Mother's of Agony in exchange for drugs is taken from Hotel Oblivion, down to letting a ghost possess him and having sex with his widow, and her looking for the money, him lying about it and it all culminating in a shootout that kills everyone (that last bit goes down slightly differently in the comics but that's more or less what happens). I also had a sneaking suspicion that this was the Klaus working as a medium plot we were going to get, rather than the alternative option which was his psychic shop in You Look Like Death.

All that said, holy hell was that dark. I've wanted the show to treat Klaus' addiction and life on the streets with the depth and seriousness it deserves and I mean we got it, but God that was dark. Like, while I knew about the widow plot from the comics, I initially thought they were using Klaus' mediumship as a metaphor for sex work (something which it is likely Klaus could have engaged in as someone who lived on the streets) and then very fast it became clear that it was in fact actual sex work. And I'm not saying the show shouldn't have done that, as I've said I wanted them to fully explore Klaus' addiction and destructive tendencies, I much prefer this to it being ignored or dealt with comedically, but god it just hit very hard. And then for him to be buried alive by someone who knows he's immortal with the intention of leaving him there for several years to break him... I don't know what I'm trying to say. The show needed to address Klaus' addiction and self destruction head on, they are doing that, and I'm glad they are and I'm glad they've chosen to fully engage with the darkness of that rather than try to lighten it with humour, but it was somewhat unexpected and that made it tougher to watch I guess it what I'm trying to say.

Also, firstly, shocked that my theory that Reggie killed Ben and then altered the kids' memories was correct (I mean a lot of it was wrong but the general thrust of it was correct). I've seen some people saying they didn't just want Jennifer to just be some girl that Ben had a romantic relationship with and Ben died trying to save her, and I'm not sure how they will feel about the romantic elements of the story but I really like how they've done it.

Yes, because they're being pulled together by the particles within them, so it's not just romance but also because it makes sense for the character of Ben. He is traumatised due to an abusive childhood that lead to abusive family dynamics in adulthood,and probably has never even seen a healthy relationship, never mind had one. On top of that, he lost all his family in a short amount of time, realised his father had raised him to die, lost the academy by which he defined himself and determined his worth, and then went to prison which I imagine added some more trauma. All of which is to say, Ben at this point in his life is lost and floundering, he has people willing to be his family, but he see expressing any kind of genuine emotion or showing vulnerability as weakness and so he continues to build up these walls and hide behind an angry, abrasive and uncaring exterior, underneath all of which he's actually still a frightened little boy who just wants to be seen and understood and to be loved.

And then he meets this girl that he has an connection with and feels drawn to in a way he's never experienced before. He literally can't stop thinking about her, isnt5 what they always talk about in romantic movies and the lije, as a sign of love. Also, she understands what it's like to lose your family to feel completely alone in the world, to be given up by your biological parents and not know why they didn't care enough about you to keep you. So, yes, the particles inside them attract them to each other, but more than that, Ben is just the right mix of lonely, and desperate for connection and affection, to mistake this for falling in love, and being fate. Their story isn't a romance, it's about trauma, and loneliness and how, if you've never experienced healthy love, it can be easy to mistake shared trauma and toxic dynamics for love. This isn't about Ben being in love, it's about Reginald Hargreeves breaking his children so badly they go on to cause the apocalypse.

Because just like Viktor, if Ben hadn't been abused by Reginald, and made feel he was less than (because let's remember he was Number One, and then was demoted, with a huge portrait of him hung to shame him and act as a warning to his sibling), made feel like he could never be good enough for Reginald to show him some scrap of care for him, then he wouldn't be this position. I mean it's also why Viktor thought what he had with Harold was love and why he fell for his manipulations. All Reginald needed to stop the apocalypse was to love his children and that's the one thing he couldn't do. How fucked is that?

[what-if-queen-camilla]

Chapter 41

04rd September 1997

Camilla had vehemently refused to even discuss the completely insane idea of Theodora attending Diana's funeral - first with Charles, then with his Private Secretary, and eventually with the Queen’s Private Secretary. Under no circumstances was she going to allow her poor little daughter to have to go through that awful ordeal - no matter how much her brothers apparently wished for their sisters to be by their side. She herself attending the funeral was of course out of the question, Charles and the boys would have to walk behind the coffin - so who would even look after Thea? She was only 10 years old, she could hardly attend such an event on her own, especially not given how public it was all going to be - not to speak of the controversy her attendance would undoubtedly cause. No, that was not going to happen.

"Maybe Granny can take care of her…", Charles, once more, suggested but Camilla was relentless. "No, darling. I'm sorry for the boys but I can't do that to her. I get that they'd want her by their side and that means a great deal but we can't allow that. It would be too traumatising for her." "But it wouldn't be her first funeral. She did attend your mother's!" "But that wasn't a fucking State Funeral!", Camilla replied. She couldn't believe that they were even discussing this. "This isn't a State Funeral either.", Charles pointed out and Camilla rolled her eyes. "It's a State Funeral in all but name. And it's… darling, please! Do you have any idea what the press will say if the literal product of your affair shows up at the funeral of your ex-wife??? They'll rip it into pieces, they'll rip HER into pieces, and I'm not going to allow that! The answer is and always will be no!" With that, she hung up the phone, sunk down on her bed and started crying. 

She couldn’t count all the tears she had been crying since the dreadful day that had changed everything anymore, not even for her own sake, but for Charles, William and Harry, and of course also for Thea who so longed to be there for her brothers which of course was incredibly sweet and touching but the mere imagination of her daughter at that funeral, without her, surrounded by that family and millions of people watching live all over the world almost caused her a heart attack. Thea herself had expressed her wish to support her brothers several times but Camilla was too afraid to even consider any of the suggestions that had been made so far. “We will light a candle and say a prayer and then watch it together on television.”, she had promised her, but Thea hadn’t been convinced. “I want to be with my brothers!”, she had declared over and over again and a part of her understood that. For nothing in this world would she have let Annabel and Mark alone at their mother’s funeral, but apart from the fact that they had all been adults at the time of Rosalind’s death, they had all been her children. In this case , however, it wasn’t only about Thea not being Diana’s daughter but actually being Camilla’s, the one person that was once more being blamed for the breakdown of Charles and Diana’s marriage, Diana’s misery and heartbreak and eventually, even her death. The atmosphere in the country was hugely emotional and the hatred she was facing had dramatically increased again; she had stopped looking at the newspapers and was very glad that a very kind neighbour was doing the shopping for her at the moment as she hardly dared leaving the house. It was all hard enough for Thea already, how could anyone in their right might even consider exposing her to the public like that? 

The phone rang and Camilla expected it to be Charles again, of course he wasn’t accepting her to end the call the way she just had and, actually, she wasn’t either. Especially following Diana’s accident they both made sure to assure the other how much they loved each other even more often, for you never knew what might happen… “Darling, listen I-”, she began, but was then interrupted by a totally unexpected voice: “Camilla? Sarah speaking…” “Sarah?” It was indeed Sarah, daughter of her good friend Susan, and, coincidentally, ex-wife of Charles’ brother Andrew, The Duke of York. “I’m sorry to be bothering you…”, Sarah started to excuse herself, but Camilla rushed to ensure that she was not bothering her at all. “That’s a lovely surprise. How, um… how are you doing?” She hadn’t even finished her question when she already regretted it: How was she supposed to be doing? She and Diana had been close. She had to be heartbroken. “Sarah, listen, I’m so sorry for… everything. I know you were close…” “We were…”, Sarah answered with a teary voice. “Thank you. But I reckon it’s not easy for you either, is it?” Camilla sighed. “That is so kind of you to ask.”, she said. “No, it’s… it’s been a very sad week for us, too.” “I can imagine. How is Thea? Bea told me that William and Harry told her about…” She didn’t have to go on, Camilla knew what she was talking about immediately and wasn’t sure whether she’d feel ashamed because so many people knew already, or maybe even relieved because she was aware that Sarah wasn’t in the easiest position either following the York’s divorce last year so in some ways the two of them were pretty much fellow sufferers and could possibly support each other. “Thanks for asking. She is… alright, I’d say.”, Camilla replied. “As best as possible under the given circumstances. She so wants to be there for her brothers and, apparently, William and Harry want her to be by their side on Saturday but…” Her voice broke and she couldn’t hold back her tears anymore. It was so sad. These poor children shouldn't have to be suffering from their parents’ mistakes the way they were. A sister should be able to be there for her grieving brothers if she wanted to, especially if that was the brothers’ wish as well. It was not fair. “I don’t know whether anyone has told you, Camilla, but I’m going with the girls. I’d be happy to take Thea, too. She could sit with us, with her cousins. I’d take care of her, I promise you.” For a few seconds, Camilla was speechless and didn’t know what to say. No, she had not known that Sarah was going to attend the funeral but her offer was so generous. Of course, that would be a great solution. Sarah had always been a wonderful mother for Beatrice and Eugenie and would surely take good care of Thea on the day as well. Thea and Bea were close in age, almost exactly one year apart and, of course, cousins. They knew each other from Balmoral and got along exceptionally well. “Oh Sarah, that… is so kind of you, I… I don’t know what to say.”, she stuttered, still with a teary voice. “It’s nothing, Camilla, really.”, Sarah said. “Ask her and let me know how you both will decide so we can arrange everything.” “I will. Thank you, Sarah.”

[dxmedstudent]

I think I'm sending this ask for both advice/ because it's cathartic to write this out. 3 weeks ago today my mum suddenly had chest pain which they found was an aortic dissection. She had surgery and she was in the hospital for 2 weeks (we couldn't visit cos she was covid positive) but it was quite tough and a very scary time- I think anyone would understand it was one of the more difficult periods of my life and even now, life is just different (mum is home and doing well!). I'm 22 and all my friends are medical students like me... I always thought I would be well supported during a time like this (my friends are truly wonderful they have been great in times of need) but for some reason when all of this happened... they just weren't able to help me. I felt lonely and they would text me once a day checking up on me (like I was a to-do list check item), tell me to let them know if I needed anything but it just felt... pathetic. I felt alone and it honestly felt like to me they didn't appreciate the gravity of the situation at all. It annoyed me that they seemed somewhat dismissive about it- comments like 'I'm glad it all went well, let me know if you need anything!' and then proceeding to just continue like nothing happened. I just feel this huge distance/detachment/hatred towards them at how little they seemed to care and I feel like no-one understands how tough it has been... and I don't really want to be the one to have to spell it out. Coming to terms with this is difficult and I just can't see my closest friends in the same anymore. (on a side note there was 1 friend who was there for me but my other 3 close friends were just... not). I don't want to tell them that they weren't there because I don't think they would feel like they could have done anything more... they did ask to go on walks/call me but I avoided them incase they pissed me off further. I feel like I'm in the wrong but also I feel like they didn't get it.

Hey! First of all, I'm really sorry you and your family went through all that. It sounds like a truly terrifying, nerve racking experience, and I'm glad your mum is now doing well! I hope she has a smooth recovery. When we go through something truly scary - whether ourselves or with our loved ones, it's a massive experience and that can be really traumatising. Coming close to losing someone we love, feeling powerless, confronting the mortality of the people we love, and our own mortality can truly take a lot of time to process and begin to recover from. I don't think you're bad for being upset and mad. You needed something - some kind of support - and felt some of your close friends withdrawing. It's normal to feel hurt if we want help and don't receive it. It's human to feel hurt and to want support. The truth is that it can truly be very hard to watch people we care about going through pain, and not know how to help them, or help them in the rong way. Sometimes people don't want to intrude, or dont' know how to help, though they genuinely want to. So they wait for a request or something concrete they can do. They hope tht they can find something to do, but feel powerless. A lot of people act like this, not with any bad intentions, and not from a lack of love, but because they just don't know how to help. I wonder if your friends just didn't know what you needed - if you are 22, they are also really young too, and may not have dealt with pain and chaos and fear to this degree before. It's also possible that maybe they had their own problems and just couldn't find the bandwidth to give more - sometimes someone else's crisis comes at the same time as yours and you just don't know how to keep your own head above water. I don't know what they were dealing with, but that's always a possibility. Sometimes people don't care as much as we do, and they con't put in as much effort as we do - so I can't say that your friends' reasons were 100% innocent because I honestly don't know. But I try to give people the benefit of the doubt when I can. This can be hard when you are hurting, and you don't have to feel OK with their response. It's OK if you always feel that they let you down. It's OK if you aren't sure how you feel. There's also a lot to process in general. When something like this happens, we can be mad and upset at many things and people - at ourselves, at our families, at our friends, at healthcare professionals. There are so many dimensions to process - it's OK if you aren't there yet. Have you thought about counselling? I would recommend it because you might benefit from talkig to people who are trained to deal with trauma and who can sit there and work on your feelings - how this made you feel, and how you can heal or cope with the fall out. I hope you can take the time to look after yourself, and to take things one step at a time. I'll be thinking of you and your family and wishing you all the best.

[wrongwiredmind]

Before I start saying anything I'd like to warn that the content of this post is both gore and contains suicidal thoughts, if any of that triggers you, please do not read, I care about whoever is reading but I can't hold any responsibility for anything that might follow, stay safe, and remember that no matter what, what comes next in your life will be better, one way or another.

This post is rather long, but that's kinda the point of this page, here we go, then.

So, I had almost my weirdest dream to date, right now, and then I thought, to heck with it!! Let's share something!

So first of all, I need to set some points straight before writing so it might explain a few things, hopefully, without giving a lot away about my personality:

(I have no idea how to put them on order, so they're pretty much a mumbo jumbo. Ah~ My favourite type of writing~. Kidding, of course, I actually prefer reading well written stories and articles)

Anyhow:. 1- I have a really deep unexplainable fear of the vast beast called an ocean (or a sea, or really anytype of deep water), I still go to the beach and pools and whatever, but there's always some sort of an icy grip tightening around my non-existent heart.

2- I love IronMan! So so much, and I kinda adopted Tony Stark!! (no one tell him, please!).

3- my adoration of a certain supernatural series made me love batman! (well, not entirely true, I always loved him, but kinda from afar, you get me?)

4- want me to get hooked on something? Give me a fanfic of it!! (of course like a series or a book, not a substance, you bad bad people!!), that's how I loved Bilbo!! (imagine me saying it in my adorable voice, the one I use when I try to sound cute 😉)

5- I binge read a certain fanfic about those two amazing superheroes saving the world, and themselves!! (I refuse to give up the name since if you think this is me oversharing? You've got another thing coming, honey!) that had a cruise and another prototype of the IronMan suit (don't ask which mark it is but it's so fast it broke the sound barrier!!)

6- I'm a little bit under the weather, (not corona, folks!) and my throat is kinda itchy, to the point that I lost all my vocal prowess for a little more than 24 hours a few days ago, still kinda annoying, and my stomach rebelled so much yesterday (before and during sleeping) that I thought she should take the rebellion symbol from Mr. Che Jivara!! (with all due respect to him, I'm only joking, so please no one takes it seriously).

7- I'm a little bit of a spacetoon (and all that's good and beautiful in our childhood) encyclopedia, want a name of a cartoon or a song you can't remember? I'm usually your best bet, after the second mother, google, of course!!

8- this week is so dead that if you want to see zombies come to our lectures any time in it, seriously we're so under a lot of exams, thank God and the doctors for postponing our tasks and assignments' due-date.

9- if I was a little more of an extrovert I might not have had to write most of these strange snippets about me in a freaking post!!!

And finally, on with the dream! (another thing you probably know by now, that I kinda take you around and under and left and right before I say what I want to say).

So, it was an assignment to some sort of subject (don't ask me which, since as far as I know, not a single thing in our curriculum will make me do what I'm about to do here, or at least, I hope so!!!), we made some type of fall-body suit that needed analysing (who am I kidding, it was the IronMan suit!!), and guess who was picked as a pilot? That's right! Yours truly!!

Anyway, good thing to bad, we had to make the prototype test in the middle of the (as I said above) the vast beast! Mr. Oceanus (I know that that is a Mr. Titan, but who am I, the lowly mortal, to deny his decision to appear in my paragraphs? And no, he didn't show up in the dream, thank God! [ours, not any of the others]),

So, I was put in the cruise, in the middle of the ocean, with the IronMan suit, and a seriously sick stomach, can you guess where we're going with this? (I'm actually kinda enjoying writing this since it reminds me of a certain mad superhero/not superhero who finally joined the XMen!, of course he joined a few years ago but I only watch the second movie circa a month ago) no? let me tell you, a bit of dizziness, seasickness, and an already rebellious stomach? Not a good combination, and remember that I really, really fear the ocean (just remembering the dream and the images in my head is traumatising, let alone living it vividly for a few hours), so, I fell, and strangely enough, I was a good swimmer (ah~ I really count my blessings here since no matter who or when someone taught me to swim, I still can't manage), I was able to stay close to the ship, but couldn't really pull myself up, so all I could do was keep a good hold on a rope tied around the ship and keep my legs in a calculated, slow what feels like a walking-in-place exercise,, (I can still feel the water around me, and the gentle waves of the ocean, it was both a calming feeling and a horrible one) and then...

Something touched the soles of my feet, and it kinda hurt, and it continued to move under me till something hit my toes, it was a shark fin, that's right, a shark choose me as his next meal, how honoured I was!!! Kidding i was kinda terrified, but all that YouTube survival videos came to mind, I left the rope of the ship and kinda dipped under water (triple scare, here, yikes!) and I... pushed.. his muzzle?

Yeah, so not really what they taught you in the videos, my polite nature rears its ugly head again (politeness is not as good as it seems, people! actually once a stray dog entered our home and jumped on the couch, and I was asking nicely and politely if "Mr. Dog would pretty please leave us be", and no, I wasn't scared but mom told me not to touch it, and it kinda was a cute, if a mangy mutt)

I didn't really want to punch the shark, even if my life kinda depended on it here, for a few reasons and actually at least one of them was pretty reasonable, which is, my punch is pretty weak, guys!!

Anyway, of course since its skin kinda scratched my feet there was blood, so it didn't leave me alone, two things I concluded here, first, Mr. Shark was either a lazy guy since he was coming to me slowly as if he either was a giant cat coming for pets no matter how many times you push her, or he was playing with his food, aka, me.

The second thing I discovered was that I was really sick in real life since my imagination couldn't conjure another family member of my guest here (again with the small mercies, can you imagine being alone around all these carnivores? And I bet not all of them will be moving so leisurely!!)

So, I finally decided to be the champ of my cruise and punch the thing in the face, so I pulled up all the power I can in my fist and punched him in his snout!!!

And let me tell you, it's not as easy is they make it sound, first, his nose is actually pretty hard, not the sensitive area they led us to believe, second, my hand really hurt and his skin scratched my knuckles, and I believe it kinda broke a bone in my hand, third, and worse, it actually enraged the mister so much that it left me, J-squared again and this time, flew! in my direction and I swear I still feel his teeth sinking in the shin of my right leg, but before he tore it apart, I actually did the right thing to defend myself, I (and I apologise, Mr. Dream shark, but you really hurt both my leg and my feelings!!) poked his eyes, which made for a very awkward stretch to my body, but finally, I was left alone!! With a mangled leg, of course, but hey!! It's not real life, so let's be glad.

The saltwater stinging my feet, still sick, and more dizzy from blood loss, you have no idea how glad was I that I was still near the ship, a little bit more than a meter but still floating, and then, the bad became worse, I actually goT SWALLOWED WHOLE BY A WHALE!!!!!!!!, YUP!! THE WHALE IN THE PICTURE!!!

And then god with his mercies again, it swallowed the ship but opened his mouth for me to leave, neat, ain't it?

But let me tell you what happened in a little more details, I felt a ripple in the water beneath and around me, and the ship started to sway, and a faint sound of something between a roar and strange song-like-sound, feeling the rumble under me was what made me look, and lo and behold!! The mighty animal wanted the meal that the shark didn't get, bye bye world!! Bye bye the suit that I still didn't to get to wear! And bye bye the report I needed to write for this freaking assignment that because of it I might fail and my friends will rail me when they see me!!

The ship and I couldn't help but enter the mouth of the humongous fish, the sounds of the wood, metal, glass and whatever is the cruise was made of was deafening, so loud and cruel, and I got a more than a few bruises and abrasions, and the feel of his teeth behind my back, sharp and huge and bigger than my own size, was something I don't know how to describe, and suddenly between all the breaking and suffocating water and absolute darkness, something caught my eyes, the slits in the helmet of the suit were lit, I'm sure it was a malfunction because of all the destruction on Mark, but it took all my fear, as if sucking it from my own eyes, and as sudden as it glowed, it vanished, but the calm remained, I closed my eyes, since it didn't matter, and just stopped everything, even trying to hold my breath, but not breathing as well, as if all body functions just... Stopped.

And then my eyes flew open again, not because I woke up, but because of an almost crushing change in the water pressure, it just pushed me forward more inside the huge mouth, and when I thought that this is it, I found the whale mouth moving further away from me, taking the ship and Mark with it, and leaving me alone, in the middle of the ocean that I wanted to say "c'mon!! If you ate me it'll be a win-win situation!!!!" but the second I opened my mouth water rushed inside that I tried swimming up to breath (even though not knowing which way is up was problematic, since something similar happened in real life before I wasn't worried, but that's a story for another time), breaking the surface was a godsend, I tell you! But my misery wasn't in any way over, I was so thirsty I actually wanted to drink salt water a again (and then death, oh wow, how smart?), and once the adrenaline deserted me, my leg returned to trying to kill me, and I don't know if it was a real thing if it happened in real life but it actually stopped bleeding, which was both fantastic, since it means that I won't die of bloodloss, and horrifying since I'm not going to die because of bloodloss, at least then I would have been able to calculate an approximate time for my death, but no, I have to wait and see what kills me next, I almost wished that I just had my previous stomachache and be done with.

Anyway, moving was not really an option, and staying was not either, and the breeze was making me so cold my teeth almost broke from all the shattering they were doing, I wasn't really sure when the others might decide to check on me, and I'm not really sure if I was still in the place they left me at, and I really didn't know what to do, I was so helpless, and cold, and thirsty, in so much pain and so so tired.

I cursed the whale again for not ending my misery, and cursed the shark for being a coward and not finishing what he started and cursing the assignment for being so impossible yet important, and most of all cursing myself, though I don't know why, but my self-loathing decided that now is the time to remember how horrible I am.

As physics does, the water raised me till I was floating on my back, which made me feel even more cold but I didn't have any energy to do anything about it, and strangely, I fell into some sort of doze, not asleep yet not really awake and aware, my whole body half above half into the water, though my right, injured leg, was bend in the knee into the water, which made my pained scream when something took hold of it in its mouth the more agonizing since it made my upper body enter the water, and the thing holding my leg left it alone, and I was able to right myself and look around me for the next threat, the fear was immense that I thought I might get a heartattack, which, admittedly would be better than the pain going to be inflicted upon me any second now, looking around finally led me to what attacked me, and for a moment, with my blurry, and fear filled eyes looked like Mr. Shark has indeed returned to finish what he started, he even returned to his play-with-my-food attitude, but when my eyes finally focused they detected differences, from the lighter shade of colors, to the more smooth curves of the fin and snout, and the gentle, warm (even if it looked sleepy) strange brown tone of the mammels eyes,

The dolphin was about two meters away, and looking at me with intense, twinkling eyes (if they were blue and he wore glasses, or at least marking that looks like it, I would have thought that the dolphin was Dumbledore' animagus and I really wouldn't have hesitated this time to punch his already crocked nose.. err.. snout [which it isn't, the dolphin's snout was perfect] with my broken hand!!) and moved slowly towards me, he pushed me gently with his nose in my abdomen, swam back a few inches, then entered the water and moved towards my leg, not touching it, but he was close enough to feel with my already almost destroyed sensitive nerves, he did all of that while I'm standing/floating, stupefied, hardly even breathing, and then he left, and pushed me again with his snout on my back, this time with more pressure that my body couldn't help but move to the dolphin's right side to let him pass, with my hand just above his back, when my hand touched his prominent back fin, he pushed my hip gently, as if telling me something, and pushed his fin into my hand again, it felt like rubber, and I couldn't help but ask "you want me to hold you?" he made a strange clicking noise then kinda slapped the water with his side fin in the other side of me, and bizarrely, his actions made me feel as if he was saying "are you stupid? Why else would I offer you my magnificent dorsal?!!" I stared, flummoxed, at the creature and couldn't help but throw my head back and laugh, I'm certain that it was the tension, fear and hysteria that made me do it, but for me, the whole situation was so hilarious that it seemed like it made Mr. Dolphin look at me and think "alright, the pathetic, hurt, star-shaped blemish is, indeed, stupid and needs help from my majesty" and then, using his right fin, slapped me non-too-gently on the side of my left hip, squeaking something as well and pushed his dorsal in my left hand again, but when he noticed my wince, he actually kinda rubbed his slippery appendage on my thigh while honest-to-god cooed at me that I couldn't help but smile at him, "it's okay, big guy, and thanks; you know, you kinda remind me of flipper!" and then I petted him a couple of times (which he purred at, I think I need a cat! 🤔🤔) then grabbed his fin in a tight but non constricting grip, my right hand was swollen by now so my only hope was to keep holding using my left hand, after shaking his body a little as if to check my hold, he dove with me into the water!! I almost screamed in fright but then he broke the surface and jumped about three meters high into the air!!!

Hello, there, adrenaline, didn't see you since a few!!

He dove again into the water and this time gradually moved towards the surface, with the water flowing into my hair and pushing me from my saviour, my left leg moved on its own violation and moved around the body as if I was riding a horse,

"WOOHOO!!", I shouted once we were in the air again, it was exhilarating; cold, but thrilling, though the warm body beneath me was perfect, he took me in a straight if slightly curvy line, and when I noticed that, I also noticed that his right fin was not moving as his left, I even thought he was injured for a second, but then a sharp sting in my leg and a slight jerk from him made me understand, my injured leg was beneath his wing-like appendage, and he was being considerate, as a solution, I flattened myself on his back, kept my left leg dangling as if in the horse saddle, my right one, as gently as possible, bend on the knee above the dolphin's back, my left hand gripping the top fin with it touching my shoulder, and my broken right hand above Mr. Flipper's cousin head, and then I came into a a sudden realization!! "does that mean I'm Lopaka????" I asked Flipper the second, and he made a sound suspiciously almost like a snort, but my change of position made him move in a much more pronounced straight line; the speed decreased as I started to doze again, as if he was worried about dislodging me, though the annoying feeling of the salt crusting on my skin woke me up, no idea how much time had past, except that the sun was on either the verge of descending or rising, and finally, finally, I saw land and buildings and what not from afar, and I certainly moved to another continent all together, let alone another country, after reaching the area where I could stand comfortably on the ground beneath the water, people started to come to see what was happening, I ignored them for the sake of my silent companion, suddenly he actually stood on his tail fin, and kinda sort of awkwardly leaned on me without trying to put too much pressure, I didn't understand what was happening though it seemed sorta like a hug?

Anyway, I pat his back again, (and again with the weird purring noise), when he released me I felt buzzing in the back pocket of my jeans, I actually still have my phone!!!

Pulling it out and snorting that after everything that happened my phone was still working!! all I could say is "well, it seems like the time of a picture, Mr. Flipper, sir!" and after an awkward kneeling so I could put my injured arm around him and trying to stretch my bloody leg (both meanings are accurate here, tbh) so it wouldn't interfere with the selfie, I positioned my left hand.

And the last thing I remember is the picture of my (Lopaka the second 😂) wide mouth grin and an equally wonderful grin from Mr. Flipper the second!!!

The End.

It really was a dream I had, with all these details, the only thing that's not entirely true about this post, is saying that this is the weirdest dream I had.

[weedle-testaburger]

for the fandom ask thing i'm gonna ask steven universe. was never really into the show but i watched it all and the movie and I LOVE IT NOW

Hehe nice! I'm glad you've gotten into it then, welcome aboard :3

The first character I fell in love with: I think in retrospect probably Steven himself, but when Stevonnie first appeared that was the first time I kinda felt like 'I WOULD DIE FOR YOU'

A character that I used to love/like but now do not: I can't really think of one actually, most of the time I've gone from not liking a character to liking them and not the other way round

A ship I used to love/like but now do not: Pearl and Rose, in retrospect Pearl deserved better honestly lol

My Ultimate Favourite Character (TM): STEVONNIEEEEE

Prettiest character: torn between Lapis and Amethyst, although every outfit Connie and Stevonnie get is amazing

My most hated character: Jasper, sorry guys but even the Diamonds have gotten a redemption arc and became more sympathetic and Jasper never did. (Or possibly Aquamarine, but what do you expect of a character based of my most hated character from another show I love?)

My OTP: Connverse and Lapidot

My NOTP: Jaspis

Favourite episode: Alone Together or Change Your Mind I think

Saddest death: There haven't really been any actual deaths really so I guess I'll say Garnet and Opal getting poofed in Together Alone maybe?

Favourite season: season 5, the arc for that season is super compelling and engaging and it has several episodes I absolutely love (Jungle Moon, Can't Go Back, A Single Pale Rose, Now We're Only Falling Apart, The Question, Reunited, Change Your Mind...)

Least favourite season: they're all good but I guess probably season 1 would be my pick, it's got the most filler episodes and a lot of stuff that doesn't get picked up even if episodes like Alone Together, Rose's Scabbard and Jail Break are fantastic.

A character everyone else in the fandom loves but I hate: Jasper for certain, I just feel like people reading her as redeemable instead of empathising with why she's so shitty doesn't make much sense with what she's like in the show.

My 'you're a piece of trash but you're still my fave' fave: I guess Lapis, but I should clarify she's not trash for being traumatised, she's trash when she uses it to justify distancing herself from and hurting people like in Raising the Barn and Can't Go Back. The rest of the time she's alright.

My 'beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this' fave: Steven! Give him his happily ever after Mama Sugar ;w;

My 'this ship is wrong, nasty and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but I love it' ship: This is gonna sound terrible but honestly Gregthyst. I've had this idea in the pipeline forever about a fanfic where they try dating when Steven's still really young to flesh out what we saw of them in the Lil Butler episode.

My 'they're kinda cute and I lowkey ship them, but I'm not too interested' ship: that's underplaying how much I like it but Rupphire is probably the closest thing to that.

Thanks for asking! :3

[baekhvuns]

Omg yes they need to play sisters again! I bet your friend was shocked hahahah. I remember spotting random celebs in London constantly it was normal, but always kinda "👁👁"

I'm glad your uni wasn't part of that terrible movie 🔫 🥑 statute?! Photos please?!

Every time someone mentions obsessed fans on Twt or even directly shade certain accounts, some people come at them with the "omg you're jealous" "leave them alone, they support Ateez" "you should be grateful for their photos/videos".... shut up, please. Guess we're not dedicated enough, bestie, cause TRUE fans wouldn't mind travelling through 5 countries and seeing them 15 times in a row

True true the Black Prince guy was an Usui wannabe... omfg I thought you meant Subaru from Diabolik Lovers - another cursed shit

Be my guest and use the line ahhahahahaah, because some foreheads are empty 💔 Wait what day passes on Webtoon? I can still binge-read most things, unless they're finished

It would be sad if this was Loona's end, but they've been mistreated for a long time and maybe they'd be able to come back somehow. If not then at least they'll be free

Also the Korean coach getting a red card? What's going ooooon. England beat Wales 3:0 another war within the United Kingdom nation lmao. Also poor Iranian players, they were forced to sing their national anthem otherwise they'd be tortured???

The funniest thing is Soohyuk isn't even old enough to be Seonghwa's father like??? 😭 But he looks very mature so I get it

You gotta watch Holiday (I would kill for Hwa as Jude Law's character AU 🤲🏻) and Love Rosie because what's going on Baeksy 💀 I genuinely do not remember watching The 5 Year Engagement, I know I did, but it didn't leave any impression on me </3 also I hate Chris Pratt aksgjayskayahbshahashnsna

I'M SORRY BUT ONCE I GET MY HANDS ON SEONGHWA'S PARADIGM COVER I'M GONNA KISS HIM ON HIS LIPSTICK SMEARED MOUTH. This is AK and vampire at the same time O_O I'm in danger. VAMPIRE DEVIL

They really make us pay so much for a regular plastic case... Idk why are Japanese comebacks like that. Mingi's photocards too... but I need to obtain all the Hwa's first 🙃

I also want to keep experiencing blonde Hwa, but he hasn't re-dyed his hair in a while so idk. I saw someone on my timeline tweet "I miss black haired Hwa" I'm about to block, I don't need this kind of negativity 🔫 But yeah better break all the scissors

Grandpa San is still alive?! I'm dying

Oh so it's your turn to dream, heh. Was he your driver as well?

I saw the EXO news and immediately thought of you Baek!

I'm???

This is the worst quiz description I have ever read, no joking 🔪 The only relatable things are my dyed hair and maybe daddy issues (though my mommy issues are stronger lol) and quality time 💀 Baek I'm traumatised. I retook it and it got better

HYUNA AND DAWN?! I'm so sad, but I hope they're happy. Dawn needs to enlist soon, so... 💔

Uhm, this outfit, the Christmas tree, he's my Hallmark movie ML, my Christmas gift... - DV 💖

hello!!! EURO TOUR???

Omg yes they need to play sisters again! I bet your friend was shocked hahahah. I remember spotting random celebs in London constantly it was normal, but always kinda "👁👁"

THEY REALLY NEED TOO! sometimes i think how perfect olivia would’ve been if she was casted in harry potter 😭😭 bestie eVERYONE IN LONDON ATP,, but my uni had the percy jackson cast film recently but the snow storm made it 📉📈📉

I'm glad your uni wasn't part of that terrible movie 🔫 🥑 statute?! Photos please?!

IM SO GLAD TOO DBDBD and the avocado statue 😭😭😭 it’s a vv common hook up spot 😭😭

Every time someone mentions obsessed fans on Twt or even directly shade certain accounts, some people come at them with the "omg you're jealous" "leave them alone, they support Ateez" "you should be grateful for their photos/videos".... shut up, please. Guess we're not dedicated enough, bestie, cause TRUE fans wouldn't mind travelling through 5 countries and seeing them 15 times in a row

YOO SERIOUSLY!!! ppl start pulling the “but their content” or “at least there’s dedicated fans” ????? that’s not dedications that’s obsessions??? 😭😭 the difference is minuscule

True true the Black Prince guy was an Usui wannabe... omfg I thought you meant Subaru from Diabolik Lovers - another cursed shit

one can NEVER be a usui, NEVER. no bc both of them are shit 😭😭🤚🏼 hated diabolik lovers with a passion and wILL NEVER WATCH IT omg do u rmr dancing with the devils 👀 ok what’s ur top 3 animes u absolutely hate

Be my guest and use the line ahhahahahaah, because some foreheads are empty 💔 Wait what day passes on Webtoon? I can still binge-read most things, unless they're finished

some foreheads are indeed empty, t’was me last night <3 wAIT WAIT WAIT??? THEY TOOK IT OFF??? i remember it was like i could only read one ep for 24 hours bc of the free pass they gave and they’d only give one pass 😭😭 but saw men of harem at its season 1 finale and guess that’s what im reading tn <3

It would be sad if this was Loona's end, but they've been mistreated for a long time and maybe they'd be able to come back somehow. If not then at least they'll be free

it really would be but i think the fans won’t let them die! stan loona will be everywhere, i hope bbc isn’t petty but i know they will be bc they might not get the name trademark unless sm signs them bc lsm and-

Also the Korean coach getting a red card? What's going ooooon. England beat Wales 3:0 another war within the United Kingdom nation lmao. Also poor Iranian players, they were forced to sing their national anthem otherwise they'd be tortured???

NOO WHAT IS GOING ONNNN,, IM SCREAMING I SAW IT ON TWT WHYS THERE A WAR ARENT YALL BASICALLY THE SAME 😭😭😭 istg the older man crying had me so sad bc it’s not even sad atp it’s just literal insane fear,,, ALSO??? GERMANY??? JAPAN??? germany could’ve got like 12 goals if not for the constant hit on the net,,, begging them to loose so argentina wins against them once at least 😭😭

The funniest thing is Soohyuk isn't even old enough to be Seonghwa's father like??? 😭 But he looks very mature so I get it

u know what he’s old enough to be?? our sugar daddy im gonna dm for info <3 and then hand in marriage <3 IF NOT HIS DAD THEN HIS BROTHER

You gotta watch Holiday (I would kill for Hwa as Jude Law's character AU 🤲🏻) and Love Rosie because what's going on Baeksy 💀 I genuinely do not remember watching The 5 Year Engagement, I know I did, but it didn't leave any impression on me </3 also I hate Chris Pratt aksgjayskayahbshahashnsna

ILL KEEP IT IN MY WATCHLIST MY FINALS ARE ALMOST OVER U BET IM WATCHING EVERY SINGLE ROMCOM RELEASED,, U HATE CHRIS PRATT??? WHAT’D HE DO TO U 😭😭

I'M SORRY BUT ONCE I GET MY HANDS ON SEONGHWA'S PARADIGM COVER I'M GONNA KISS HIM ON HIS LIPSTICK SMEARED MOUTH. This is AK and vampire at the same time O_O I'm in danger. VAMPIRE DEVIL /// They really make us pay so much for a regular plastic case... Idk why are Japanese comebacks like that. Mingi's photocards too... but I need to obtain all the Hwa's first 🙃

FBWNDBWK U BETTER ANON U NEED TO GET UR HANDS ON IT DO IT DO IT DO IT !!! ur so right, the perfect vampire human au <3 hwa twilight when yEAAAHH bc like the jpn albums don’t tend to have a lot of photo books pages no? like super thin, so why we pay more ayo 😭😭

I also want to keep experiencing blonde Hwa, but he hasn't re-dyed his hair in a while so idk. I saw someone on my timeline tweet "I miss black haired Hwa" I'm about to block, I don't need this kind of negativity 🔫 But yeah better break all the scissors

blond hair hwa >>> yellow blond hair hwa,,, COME ON THERES SOMEONE EVERY TWO DAYS SAYING THEY MISS BLACK HAIR HWA, OKAY! WE GET IT! BUT LET OTHER COLOURS LIVE A LITTLE 😭😭😭

Grandpa San is still alive?! I'm dying /// Oh so it's your turn to dream, heh. Was he your driver as well?

ITS SO FUNNY 😭😭😭 one of my friends goikg to the concert is doikg the attorney woo sign “woo to the young to the woo” for wooyoung fbdb,,,

he unfortunately was not my driver. apparently i didn’t know this was a thing but apparently i have a chase kink, and it was like?? he was running after me?? we were in a uni setting and i was like “no! im not gonna talk to u!” and kept running bc he was laughing, but i had this like nervous giddiness and i was running and running knowing he was behind me and he kept tryna come in front out of nowhere but i would duck and run?? and i tried hiding but like the entire school was in on it??? THIS IS MY YN STORY ANON,, and i opened a class door and was greeted with a ongoing class and my sibling sitting there going “wtf?” and i rmr yelling “shit” out loud and i thought it was so loud that i yelled it outside of my sleep,, YEAH AND LILE I KEPT WAKING UP,, BUT EVERYTIME I CLSOED NY EYES THE DREAM WOULD PICK UP FROM THERE,, this is my yn story <3

I saw the EXO news and immediately thought of you Baek!

bestie what’s happening, woke up to ateez EURO TOUR????? and i hadn’t even opened my eyes properly and they went full wide and i internally screamed dv anon, NOW superm (he’s gone???) cb??? ateez already in canada???? in this snow 🙂🙂

TAEYANG CB??? AND NOW EXO 😭😭🤚🏼 NCT SAUDI??? nct habibi era <3

I'm???

LMFAOOO???? THE LAST ONE?? this is like university au, those clique of guys who do nothing but good around and major in computer science or business

This is the worst quiz description I have ever read, no joking 🔪 The only relatable things are my dyed hair and maybe daddy issues (though my mommy issues are stronger lol) and quality time 💀 Baek I'm traumatised. I retook it and it got better

anon the way my jaw. 👁👄👁 okay say what u wanna 🤚🏼👁👄👁🤚🏼

HYUNA AND DAWN?! I'm so sad, but I hope they're happy. Dawn needs to enlist soon, so... 💔

BRO??? THE ULTIMATE SHOCK EVER??? OUT OF NOWHERE??? the “i don’t believe in love” comments coming up now 😭😭 and 🧍🏻‍♀️AND

Uhm, this outfit, the Christmas tree, he's my Hallmark movie ML, my Christmas gift... - DV 💖

oh his hair. oh. my god. HE IS THE EPITOME OF A HALLMARK MOVIE OH MY GOD

🙂 giving very the junior who tutors u

uHHH

he’s sO????

also bestie what’s up with the euro tour pricing 😭😭

ITS CHRISTMAS SEASON BESTIE!! which also means ur birthday is coming close from what i rmr 🔫 pls skip to 00:09 seconds pls

and u know this guy?