#i'm so fucking excited for fantasy life i y'all don't understand

[oh-meow-swirls]

batshit insane statement but part of harrisville's theme sounds kinda like part of uhhhhh. one fantasy life song. i don't remember which part but it has fantasy life vibes. they probably had the same composers honestly sfdlkfjlksfjkfkjsf-

[acehigh-oddsnends]

thinking abt the dialtown soulmate quiz and what ace's answers would be

What do you think your soulmate would smell like? French lavender, nag champa, Egyptian amber, sandalwood, cedarwood & vanilla. Also camphor. And the sweet smell of rot. But the rest of the nice smells mostly cover that shit up, who cares if they smell like a corpse?

What kind of career do you think your soulmate would have? They sell weird shit. Like, Fantasy Costco levels of weird shit that you either didn't know even existed or you drastically need right now. Like their shop knows you and what you want.

What's your ideal dating location? They're comfortable with (and able to pay for) anything I'm comfortable with. Night at home? Night on the town? Night at the most fucking expensive restaurant in the country? They're there!

Could you see yourself having kids with your soulmate? DEAR GOD NO. THERE ARE WARNINGS ABOUT THIS. THERE WOULD BE NO ESCAPE IF THEY HAD SPAWN. THE WORLD WOULD END. They also don't want any, so.

If a mugger pulled a knife on you while on a date, what would your soulmate do? "What mugger?" They ask me with a smile as the knife wielding criminal desperately tries to escape their fate of drowning in the shadows. I ask no questions. We continue on our date.

What do you think your soulmate's favourite food would be? ...They don't eat because they don't think they need to. Probably some kind of cheese, though. Or a nice refreshing Dr Pepper tm.

How do you feel about public displays of affection? They'll hold hands with anyone, they don't care. The fun stuff happens behind closed doors.

Could you see your soulmate being religious? They mention offhandedly having a job as one of the Four Horsemen at some point. They never elaborate.

Where do you think your soulmate would most ideally want to live? In the back of/above their shop. Modestly, with creature comforts collected over the years. It always smells like baking cookies, for some reason. There's also a cat. His name is Gonny, short for Goncharov. He's a required presence.

What do you think your soulmate's dream would be? Not being forgotten or some sad shit like that. Pull yourself together, c'mon! It's not like existing is THAT hard! Who were we talking about again?

Nobody's perfect. Pick an acceptable defect for your partner to have. Never talks about themself. Like, never. Never ever. You're not even sure if they have a real name or it's just Ace.

Would you consider taking your soulmate to couples therapy if y'all had issues? Forget therapy for couple's issues, being with them in the first place is fit for non-consensual asylum committing in five countries and forty states!

Okay, forget therapy. How do you think you'd handle it if things went...south? They're chill about it. You forget who they are in three hours. Life goes on.

You ask your partner if they'd like to go on a movie date! How do they respond? They're pretty excited, actually. They suggest a theatre date next. You don't understand the difference between theater and theatre. They sit there in sullen silence the whole movie for some reason.

TIEBREAKER; Is your soulmate a smoker? They don't need to care about it, so they will, but only if it's for...well. You know.

[alirhi]

10 Sebastian roles as boyfriends

Because... I'm bored and I feel like it. 😂 Probably some spoilers for, like... everything? So yeah... That.

Putting it under here for easy scrolling:

10: Chase Collins

Who doesn't love a goofball? In the first half of the movie, Chase is basically perfect. He's sweet, funny, not all caught up in his ego, and actually pays attention to what the girls around him are saying, not just to what he wants to hear. If not for the whole... it was all an act to get close to Caleb and try to steal his magic thing, Chase would actually be a damn good high school boyfriend. He's adorable and would be a fun date, but he's also only 18 so best not to start making long-term plans lol. Also, y'know... the whole psycho revenge/power grab thing.

9 Jack Benjamin

Y'all. Y'all. Words cannot describe how much I love Jack. Pretty sure I've made this clear. As a person/character in general, he's absolutely in my Top 3 - not just of Sebastian's characters, but any character ever. ❤ But as a boyfriend? Boy's got baggage. It's what makes me so protective of him, but seeing as how he's trapped in the closet thanks to his overbearing homophobic family and the insane expectations heaped on him, as the show left him, he can't handle an honest relationship. He's too easily influenced by all the wrong people, poor babe.

8 Chris (Destroyer)

On paper, undercover cop sounds cool and exciting, but even if you ignore the fact that he, y'know, dies... Chris got in too deep and kinda lost the mission, so to speak. Best case scenario, you're his sexy partner and in on it all with him and end up on the lam for the rest of your lives. Worst case, this man lies for a living, so can you even trust him? And... yeah. The whole dead thing. Chris is hot af but getting involved with him is a recipe for disaster.

7 Ben

Min and Hathor have mercy, I love Ben! He's smart, he's snarky, he's caring and loyal... he's an absolute disaster. He's another one who seems allergic to honesty, until his lying and avoiding nearly kill his girlfriend. Not exactly relationship goals lol. Everything before totally was, though! Ben's adorable, and I love how he stayed up all night to protect his girlfriend (from a ghost/demon thing... with a baseball bat. I said he was smart, not perfect, okay? XD points for effort lol)

6 Mickey Henry

I. LOVE. MICKEY. Oml I love Mickey. He's a spazz and - even more so than Ben - an absolute disaster of a human being, but I love him. Pros for dating Mickey Henry: he's fun, he's carefree, he'll cook for you even though he's kinda bad at it lol, he loves his son and wants to be a good dad, he wants his partner to be happy and to love life as much as he does. Cons, and the reason he's not higher on the list: He's a pushover; easily influenced by the toxic people in his life, and it gets him into a lot of trouble. Being easily influenced by toxic dumpster fire of a human being Chloe almost lost him the partial custody of his son that he barely even had. He's an absolute sweetheart, but he's a complete man-child, and dating him would often feel more like raising him.

5 Frank "Suffer Buddy"

Come on! You know he and Mickey had to be back-to-back - they're practically the same character! 😂 Frank is Mickey... slightly more grown up. He's still a disaster, but he's respectful of boundaries, he's caring, he's funny in a dry, witty way that I just adore, and hoo lordy that man is a giver! 🥴🥵 Honestly, if he didn't smoke and didn't ditch Daphne in the middle of a party hours away from everything familiar to her surrounded by strangers to go do drugs, I'd call Frank perfect. He listened, he respected her wishes, he tried to keep some distance between them when he found out she'd gone on a date with his best friend (it failed utterly and brought us to the "damn that man's good with his mouth" portion of the movie lmao but still)... I don't have a whole lot of experience with men who actually give a shit, okay? So Frank is like a goddamn unicorn to me lmao. But that drug thing... That keeps him at the bottom of the Top 5 for me. Sorry, bb

4 Bucky

I can already hear everyone on here raging at me for placing Bucky so low on this list, but hear me out: I love this man. I love all four iterations of this man. Flirty 40s Bucky was a doll (fun date, not commitment material). Post-POW camp 40s Bucky had a fire to him that set me on fire. The Winter Soldier can choke me any damn day. Unf. And TFATWS Bucky... Oh, lady above, 2023 Bucky is a gem! He's sweet, snarky, and broken. He feels utterly, wretchedly alone in the world, and everyone around him, including his only friend, is telling him to "man up" and "make amends" for shit that was never his fault to begin with, rather than helping him come to terms with all that he's suffered and all that he's survived. Bucky needs and deserves love. A relationship with him would be so solid, if he found the right person... But it would take a fuck ton of work. He needs someone strong, patient, and more stubborn than he is to prod him until he finds a better therapist and actually opens up, and to keep him on track because even good therapy comes with homework. He does have to "do the work," Sam was right about that much, but he was way off base with what that "work" is. Bucky needs help and understanding, and he would be an amazing boyfriend... if he found someone with the strength to help him weather his nightmares and flashbacks, and help pull him out of this PTSD pit he's been in since 1943.

3 Chris Beck

Big brains turn me on, okay? 😂This man is an astronaut and a surgeon! Yes, please! Come here, you sexy genius! He's smart, he's funny - pretty sure Sebastian is incapable of playing anyone who's not delightfully snarky lol. He's pragmatic when he needs to be but there's also nothing he wouldn't do or risk for the ones he loves. This man is husband material and I cannot be convinced otherwise! So why isn't he #1? Cuz of the whole... spending years in space, thing. Super cool job and I'd be his biggest fan on the ground, but god damn, I would miss him while he's away!

2 TJ Hammond

Look, I'm gender fluid and he's a little bit bi 😂😂😂 Let me have my fantasy, okay? TJ's definitely got a lot of shit to work through, but love brings out the best in him. Before that fucking closeted shitbag broke his heart and stomped on it for good measure, TJ was clean and sober for months, he was happy, he was playing piano again, he was pulling himself together. Not only would he be an amazing boyfriend, but his partner would get the extra joy of getting to watch their love and devotion to him be the thing that saves this beautiful man's life. It's not healthy overall to tie your self worth and will to live to a relationship, but if he found the right person who would be there for him through all of life's shit and stick it out, I think he'd be okay. Even after his lowest point and without the support of his family, TJ still had a dream and he still chased it. He's not just the sweetest person to ever grace our screens, but he's ambitious and business-savvy, too. Keep him off drugs and watch this man take over the world, I'm telling you!

So why is TJ only #2? Well, besides the fact that he's like 99% gay and I have no bits he'd be interested in lmao, there's also the fact that this guy owns my heart:

1 Will Franklyn

And not just because we get to see him wet and mostly naked lol. Will is fucking perfect. I would die for this man... because he's already shown that he would die for his love. He almost fucking did, and they weren't even together yet! He's smart and very aware, he's a writer so we'd get to bond/geek out over books together, he's not all full of himself (self-deprecating humor ftw!) and he's willing to help a total stranger despite actual mortal peril, just because it's the right thing to do. Fierce, intelligent, sassy, strong-willed, and a flawless moral compass? YESYESYESYESYES! Forget boyfriend - let me MARRY this man! 😍🥰