#i'm so fucking emotionally invested in this now how can you all enable me like this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[myshredda]

While burning myself for the hundredth time making dinner today (;-;) i got lost in thought and Green got the most attention.

I can't even imagine how burnout that poor child is. How much his poor little body (thin due to the accelerated burning of calories involved in being in a fight or flight situation at every waking second) aches due to stress, how long it takes him to fall asleep and how he always seems tired.

I like to think that eventually, when Green realizes he's ok and there's nothing to fear, he suddenly feels hollow; he was so used to being afraid that its the only thing he knows about himself. He's afraid of even the simplest things, like making food or interacting with objects in the house, because even if he knows that they are harmless, what if suddenly they aren't?

The clump notices this sooner than later, and they decide it's time to make him feel secure.

So, ofc, they go to Tesco!

They help Green find out what textures, tastes and smell of food he enjoys, and then have a great dinner with things he likes!

Late at night, Green lays in bed looking at the ceiling with his little tummy full of yummy things, and for the first time in forever, he feels loved 💚

(Also an apology in case of any grammatical error, my brain did not want to english today)

God the visual difference between Yellow and Green just from a body fat standpoint alone is going to send me into a fit of anguished hysterics. He'd definitely be physically emotionally and mentally exhausted, stack on poor nutrition and the horrific state of mine he must be in he'd be like a semi-feral animal in complete survival mode when he blips back in.

AND! The sudden loss of his main goal (escaping) absolutely leave him empty. There'd be a feeling of 'well if i'm not doing that what am I even doing? why am I even here?' I think it would be a huge toll on him mentally, and the guarded reactions from Duck and Red certainly wouldn't help with that. Thank god Yellow is the happy little dude that he is, at least he's got that support from the start. But even that relationship is a little tainted, because he's so resentful of Yellow for being loved and being accepted and being emotionally healthy enough now that he's unafraid to indulge in comfort, like having Doggie or cuddling with Red. To Green it would be a harsh reminder that he's (once again) the extra, unwanted and outcasted due to circumstances he's not in control of.

But enough angst for now, skipping forward to Green post-closet breakdown. He's finally starting to feel accepted, the trio is getting used to his presence, and Red and Duck aren't so on-edge now that things are going back to 'normal' and maybe they go to Tesco! (still not sure how to write that LMAO) and Green is like. a little overwhelmed being outside and seeing 'normal' people (i'm assuming they look like Lily and Todney's family + the mourners in death) so he sticks close to Red while they shop, and maybe he gets exhausted a little upset so Red just picks him up and puts him in the trolley and lets him ride around and its honestly kind of fun. And they buy foods he thinks he might like, because he's never 'liked' food in the short time he's been 'alive' as it's always been fuel instead of comfort so they kind of pick and choose and they go home and cook it and it's fun. and it's the closest to 'normal' the dynamic has been since Green showed up, so Green feels safe enough to eat, and talk, maybe he even makes a joke that Duck laughs at, and the moment makes his heart feel like it's a sparkler in his chest, and he goes to bed filled with oven chips and mushy peas or whatever else british people fucking eat and he FINALLY has a good nights sleep for the first time in his entire life

[wind-becomes-lightning]

i’m not anon but RANT AB HIM ENABLING YOU !!!!

hello same brain @ahhhhhwhat :D

Alright, first and foremost I have to admit of course that there is a certain appeal of his Boruto design ( and I do mean Kishimoto's design, Ikemoto is.. uh... please don't draw Konohamaru, thank you.) He's grown up very nicely what can I say. So it definitely started this way and I tried to deny it for a while and get over it (like he was baby in the og naruto! I should not .. think like THIS about him, he is a child!) to no avail LOL Anyway, i started thinking more about him and now I have manyy thoughts.

I have at hing for teacher characters if that isnt already clear. Kakashi has branded my brain in such a way that now mentors are just CHEFS KISS to me? So he already had that uh going for him apart from his ... looks.

Konohamaru is in many ways portrayed to be a double to Naruto, with the loud mouth, prank personality that wants to become Hokage, but I think he is much more uh- serious about things. Not saying Naruto wasn't serious about his dreams, he really was, but Konohamaru seems much more grounded, I don't know how to explain that, its just a feeling. I think his Hokage dream was for a while only because he idolised his grandfather, and later because he idolised naruto. IN my mind I'm not sure if he REALLY wants to be Hokage or if he just wants to be like the people in his life that mean a lot to him.

Naruto in general is a big influence on him. People often compare it to the rleationship Naruto has with Iruka, but I think that one is much more parentla, while Naruto and Konohamaru are only 3 years apart and more like brothers. I mean we know Konohamaru is a total Naruto fanboy from day 1 pretty much and still is. (HC time, I think Konohamaru actually had his first crush ON naruto, in the same way i think Tenzo's first crush was Kakashi, just complete admiration yk?)

OK before I go into headcanon territory I want to talk about Boruto age Konohamaru. I love his grown up design, thats not a secret. I love love love the choice that he looks closer to his grandfather the more he ages. I chose to believe that was done on purpose! (one more reason why the ikemoto design suucks). I love how the tail end of his scarf got shorter but the scarf got bigger and ffluffier. I know people have commented on his eye colour changing to this dark blue colour, but I love it. It fits him so well I'm glad they did that. He looks great.

He should be SO OP. He SHOULD! He can use fire and wind, is shown using different katon techniques, Asuma's chakra blades (before Mirai get them? Or others? I think it was never explained) and the rasengan of course. He has a summoning contract with the usual Sarutobi apes AND the toads of mount myoboku. He can use his ape summon the same way his grandfather did, transform with him etc. But he never gets anything to do! (or rarely). THey are so focused on letting the students shine that he often just gets knocked out or is not present. The Boruto anime canon at least lets him do some stuff, but the manga makes him absolutely useless for no good reason. LIke am I still pissed that in anime canon when mitsuki goes missing shikamaru tells Konohamaru not to look FOOR HIS OWN STUDENT because he is TOO EMOTIONALLY INVESTED.... SHIKAMARU... like what the fuuuuuuuuuuuu- (how shikamaru and naruto can sit there and tell him oh yeah, its just YOUR DAMN STUDENT, but others will take care of it its fine (namely like... a few 12 year old genins) is beyond me and i understand that they are older now but fucking hell shikamaru will you take a hard look at yourself? and i understand thats done so that the child characters get something to do but it makes nooo logical sense and pisses me off beyond believe.)

He genuinly cares for Boruto a lot. I mean he cares for all his students (as all the teachers in naruto do, see my long rant a while back about how much I love the PLATONIC relationship of teacher student in naruto as a whole), but Boruto and him have a closer relationship for obvious reasons. It's funny when you notice how often Boruto calls him "nii-chan" instead of "sensei" and he does not correct him. I mean sometimes he DOES correct him, but often enough he also forgets, because he is just too used to it. I think the idea that they were togethre since Boruto was born, that Naruto was like entrusting his first born son to Konohamaru is just lovely. I also think its great that it is him who teaches Boruto the rasengan. I mean Naruto teaching his son would have been a great bonding moment too, but I just love the chain of teachers teaching their students continues like that.

Apart from that you just know he loves Mirai. We don't see them interact all too often which is a shame, but you just know he is like incredibly protective of her too. if you wanna theorise the fact that he uses Asuma's chakra blades and eventually Mirai does you could easily think that he might have taught her. Actually I'm going to hc that now ok bye.

Headcanons under cut because this is already so long

It is heavily implied that both his parents are ANBU, so in my mind, his father (who i yet need a name for), Asuma's older brother, was incredibly talented as a shinobi and entered anbu early (not as early as Kakashi and Itachi, but early). He was supposed to be the clan head after Hiruzen and was the golden boy child, but then he realised he would much rather have an anbu career. As such, he gave over his right to clan head to Asuma (which leads to its whole other can of worms for Asuma, who we are not talking about here, but he wasnt as talented and was at odds with his dad a lot and generally just wasn't as great as his brother and suddenly he had so much responsibility?? terrrible). He then met his wife also in ANBU and Konohmaru was born, while both parents remained high ranking ANBU members.

As such, Konohamaru was raised by sitters nannies and tutors. Thats not because his parents didnt love him or want him, but because they were so very busy and thought well he would be in good hands. So his only real connection was to his grandfather and while Hiruzen was vrey busy all the time as well, you know how grandparents are with grandchildren. Hiruzen loved that boy from the moment he opened his eyes yk? So the first person Konohmaru admired was his grandfather, who like in many ways was more parent to him than his parents. THat of course until Naruto came around.

In many ways as a kid he was probably a little like Damian in Spy Family. Someone who was loudly telling everything who his important grandfather is to get attetion to mask how lonely he really felt. But he found two good friends that actually did like him for who he is, moegi and udon, and they stuck together well until where we are now in Boruto. I believe they did not care for his heritage quite as much as most the tutors did, Naruto of course didn't either, and that made him become the person he is today. If he didnt have them he might be a different, more arrogant version (And maybe that would be fun exploring in an AU)

Oh and Asuma! The perfect uncle. Idk, i just see them hanging out when Asuma has time. Asuma telling him about missions he has been on, promising Konohamaru to teach him in wind chakra usage. I can see Konohamaru teasing him about Kurenai and everything. IN my AU all the sarutobis call him "maru (chan or kun depending on levels of teasing him)" Asuma included.

in my AU he leaves the village for a while in his twenties, sort of like Asuma did, mostly to get away from.. uh.. the Oc i made for him that sort of broke his heart OOPS, but also to sort of define himself. There is a lot of conflicting feelings in his history, especially towards his grandfather. You gotta grapple with a person who has done bad stuff (even if they meant well) but never to YOU and that you cant help but miss but also are angry at. Thats a lot to work through. He comes back and becomes a teacher.WOO!

I think he fights like Hiruzen. Its hard to say because Hiruzen has one fight and then dies, but in my head their fighting styles are incredibly similar. It would make sense. Hiruzen taught jirayia, jirayia taught naruto, Naruto taught Kononohamaru. I think that just makes the resemblence of him to his grandfather even stronger. Tsunade has definitely felt nostalgic seeing him fight at least once. I also believe he can mix the wind and the fire when he wants do make megaaa fire ball.

Ive already kind of mentioned it above but I dont believe he really wants to be Hokage. Idk, i Just dont know, maybe he will be and I wouldnt complain, but it feels like to me as a kid he just said it because it gave him attention (a little like naruto) and as an adult he just says it because well its been with him for so long. I htink he is very content with Naruto being hokage.

I also think he was offered the place of clan head again once he turned 18, even though his parents said no to it. Because Asuma had died and mirai was still so tiny. But while he agreed to sort of be the stand in if necessariy and go to village meetings, he was gonna give the responsibility to mirai as soon as she was old enough, because it was her right.

yea. uh.. thats it! You see I love him a lot which is why I give him a very very dramatic love relationship to prove my love adhsflaksdf

[mikeshanlon]

I love that the answer to "why didn't stewy contact kendall immediately after kendall did the thing they have always been talking about & almost did together not a whole month ago" is "because he was busy googling if it's legal to mail someone a horse's head."

no literally he's such an icon. he's like okay kendall has a history of ignoring my calls after he does some big ass stupid shit let me not be like every other bitch trying to contact him and just make sure he can't ignore me by sending a inconveniently large trojan horse to his ex-wife's apartment to be like. i know where you are. you are a fucking snake but i also love it. i've known you since we were kids this is going to make you paranoid and i want to watch you suffer and squrim a bit after everything you did. now you have to deal with these sticks.

also re: their reunion i've seen people be like this felt inadequate after everything that happened/what ken did or not in character but i disagree. i mean of course i would love more stewy screen time and i hope they don't significantly diminsh his role, but there was a lot of things to unpack this episode and i loved all of the character work esp with the roy siblings. but with kendall and stewy's reunion, first of all they saw each other like... yesterday maybe two days ago in the show time in greece lol. so it hasn't been that long and stewy is probably still annoyed at kendall for just sitting there like a sad obedient bassett hound when logan was like you can get ken's board seat. (also their scenes are always kinda short but pack a punch). and while yes their 2.01 reunion is so emotionally charged it's different circumstances and i really like how they are juxtaposed: 2.01 stewy dropped his pragmatic greed and anger to extend emotional vulnerability, tried to be there for his best friend but kendall rejected it so he's imbittered now.

so like yes i think stewy is proud that kendall stood up to his dad and that logan is like this close to having his life ruined, but there is this sense of like, dude, we could've done this together already. he doesn't want to open up emotionally and i think he's kinda waiting for the other shoe to drop like it seems to always do, that either he'll go back to logan (which i think is unlikely) or that he's going to crash and burn (very likely). stewy has been with him for a long time he knows the cyclical nature of the roy's trauma and feeling trapped that kendall is in. he's not a total ass to kendall but he's keeping his distance and shuts him down, saying he'll hear him out but he doesn't see it working, and it's like the exact blow kendall didn't want to hear, that this person who believed in their ability to take over just earlier that year and their whole lives is like. yeah idk if you can do it, and idk if we can ever work together again. ow. stewy also keeps him at this distance and doesn't indulge him by being like let's keep this short, and exasperatedly asking what kendall even wants-- he doesn't want to stay too long and become more invested/get hurt more seeing kendall be manic as fuck and he just wants a straight up answer. (again one of the things i find so interesting about stewy is that he doesn't lie or mince his words but kendall and the roys are dishonest motherfuckers and see words as "just complicated airflow" and i could really write a whole other thing about stewy being the antithesis/narrative foil to the roy family and their values).

i also think it's interesting to compare the reactions of the people kendall is closest to outside his family: naomi, rava, and stewy--and these people kind of fundamentally see him and understand him/ his family relationships more than other characters. naomi in general is kinda kendall's biggest enabler at the moment with his drugs, but she also enables his ego boost from the press conference, affirming his "i'm the man" thing that kendall desperately craves that validation from. naomi sees his fucked up relationship with his dad but i also think that a) she hasn't been around as long as rava and stewy to totally understand ken and his personality/cycles and b) she also just doesn't really.... care that much if kendall totally fucks up or whatever bc she's having fun and she hates the roy empire so whatever happens, happens lol. rava is supportive and glad he finally stood up to logan and allows him to post up in her apartment (queen u need to kick him out) but she also didn't actually watch it and doesn't believe his bullshit about "i did it for you and the kids". i think it's interesting that stewy and rava have known him the longest and have the closest relationships to him and can't help but let him in and try to help him and be roped back into roy family bullshit but also at this point keep sort of a distance because they are hurt from kendall always fucking up and hurting them in the process.

[countessofbiscuit]

What are your Bobasoka headcanons? I've already gone through all of the (criminally little) fic on ao3 and I especially loved Smothered and Covered, and I saw the majority of the fics in the tag were gifted to you so I'm assuming you're the OG shipper. Feel free to essay if you like!!

Thanks for the ask and kind words about that fic :3 

Oh, Bobasoka … where to begin? It’s a pairing that’s been bumping around in exchange requests for a few years — I figure it’d be easy for anyone invested in Ahsoka’s relationship with the clones to be compelled by the idea. Lledra used to draw Boba and Ahsoka interacting, and it was probably a few panels of their incredible Destinies comic that set my Bobasoka wheels turning. I’m also drawn to them because their journeys traverse so much canon; there’s not just a sandbox to play in, but a whole goddamn stretch of beach, stretching far out into the horizon ...  (#AhsokaLives #BobaSurvived :D)

I have to lead with the proviso that almost everything I write/daydream about/headcanon has a groundsheet of Rexsoka. Ahsoka’s interest in Boba, in my head, is intimately tied up with her attraction to and/or relationship with Rex — or, at the bare minimum, her intimate fellowship with the clones. She went through puberty (maybe with heats!) surrounded by a literal army of handsome, roughly college-aged dudes; that must’ve been a heady mix of heaven and hell. If she didn’t quench her thirst before war’s end and her (eventual) separation from Rex, she’d probably be pretty dehydrated when stumbling across Boba. As for Boba’s attraction to Ahsoka, well ... she’s very pretty, she’s potentially useful, she’s not likely to skewer him in his sleep (+2) on account of being a Jedi (-1), and now she’s the one down on her luck; if he falls in bed with anyone, why not this girl who isn’t afraid of him and stares a lot at his lips?                         

And Boba is like a hot shipping potato — satisfying, hard to fuck up, goes well (read: makes for an intriguing story) with almost everyone. And I think it has everything to do with his liminality, something he shares with Ahsoka and probably recognizes.          

Their neither-this-nor-that-ness overlap in such interesting ways, and they each bring their identity issues to the table — Ahsoka as an on-again, off-again Jedi; Boba as a clone who isn’t a Clone™, a Mandalorian by birth and bearing, but not by the book. At different points in their stories, they identify as different things, and that would affect their headspace and color their view of the other. They wrestle with themselves and each other. Force-user and bounty hunter; privileged topsider and orphaned juvenile delinquent fugitive; GAR commander and outcast clone; Jedi and Mandalorian; Disillusioned veteran and disaffected army brat; Rebellion agent and Imperial contractor.

And as much conflict is baked into these dynamics, it also generates a certain magnetism; and I believe they recognize, on some level, their shared trauma and the symmetry in their experiences. Boba and Ahsoka both have happy childhoods with very little to distress or vex them (beyond the art, I do not jive with Age of Republic: Jango Fett, a Disney-canon comic that not only doubles-down on the Jango-wasn’t-Mando nonsense, but shows him being rather cavalier about Boba’s life); Geonosis happens and their adolescent lives are dominated by war (which is how they came to actively threaten each other as space!secondary-schoolers — whaaaaatf!); they are both dubiously (even wrongfully) imprisoned; and they both suffer alienation and incredible personal loss.  

Boba was set apart from the clones before he was even pulled him from the jar, othered and elevated from the beginning. He never bonded with brothers, he does not identify as a clone. And while there are examples of clones making overtures to him, canonically his relationship with them is fraught and probably made worse when he gets banged up in Republic Central at the tender age of eleven or twelve — and of course, Ahsoka is an accessory to this, the second chapter in his tragedy at the hands of the Jedi. He needed help (whether he wanted it or not), it was not given by clones or Jedi alike (hamstrung by bureaucracy, sure, but surely some other means of intervention might have been lobbied for?), and Boba becomes a right teenage disaster, well-balanced only in the sense that he has a chip on both shoulders.

(n.b. Putting my RepComm hat on for a second, I can’t help but sniffle-laugh at the idea that the Alphas watched him get thrown in a maximum-security slammer and were like “Ah, there he is, the feral vod’ika. First time, we’ll let the little snot earn his stripes. Second time, we’ll bust him out and send him on a tough love retreat with A’den or Jaing.”)

Ahsoka, meanwhile, is part-and-parcel of the institutions that Boba sets himself against, even after she too has been cast out by circumstances beyond her control. She grows up in a supportive Jedi community and then spends some seriously formative years with a whole slew of brothers — brothers that should have been Boba’s! 

Boba, on the other hand, is a great example of the proverb that a child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth. (As he tells Hondo, “Why should I help anybody? I’ve got no one.”) 

The resentment that must create! But also, later, the quiet empathy too — maybe when Boba’s having one of his better days and Ahsoka’s obviously not. 

And all of the above is interesting enough, without also touching upon the wildcard that is Mandalore.

Boba’s relationship with Mandalore .... well, that’s contested in- and out-of-universe and I won’t allow myself to essay overmuch. I subscribe firmly to a Mandalorian Fetts construction of canon, even though Boba must be someone who struggles mightily with Mandalorian identity. He’s raised by a bona fide Mando, a solicitous, loving father who’d have no reason not to pass on his language and beliefs; but at the same time, it takes that village, and when Boba’s clan of two is shattered, he has no one else. The loss of his dad unmoors him from his only anchor to Mandalorian culture and clan.

If Boba had been close to the Cuy’val Dar, one would think he’d have turned to them rather than fall in with Jango’s criminal acquaintances; or maybe the bounty hunters just scooped him up first, and troubled lil’ Boba was shepherded through bereavement by folks who enabled and encouraged him to externalize his anger in a way that gave him a (false) feeling of agency and strength. 

Whatever the reasons, Boba does not repatriate himself to Mandalore (much to Fenn Shysa’s melodramatic dismay). He strikes me as a lapsed Mandalorian; he doesn’t exactly follow the creed besides wearing the armor (scavenged? his dad’s sans helmet? canon is confused on this point, but he doesn’t go Mando until the unfinished arcs at the end of TCW, either for lack of stature, lack of armor, or lack of enthusiasm). I feel like if someone rocked up to Boba in a cantina and had the balls to ask “hey, so you a Mandalorian?” Boba would be like “<ominously slow helmet tilt> who’s asking” and never give you a straight answer.

Meanwhile, Ahsoka gets a crash course on Mandalore from none other than someone who, at one point, belonged to a sect that wanted to expunge Jaster’s legacy from the galaxy — and at the very least, had reason to dislike clones. This isn’t the place to explore my Boba/Bo-Katan feelings, but know that they are fathomless, and I would pay good money to be a fly on the wall of that Kom’rk when Bo-Katan gives Ahsoka Mando History 101 with her own special sauce. Ahsoka is probably more up-to-speed on Mandalore than Boba, and at one point, she may even own more beskar than him! (n.b. After the crash, I think one of the first places Rex and Ahsoka bounce is just inside Mando space, to scope out the Sundari situation and maybe try to scramble a signal to Bo-Katan; she’d have the goodwill to at least get them back on their feet if she can’t help them lay low herself. For a variety of reasons worth maybe ficcing down the line, they aren’t successful.)

I don’t really have a concluding statement except, I just think Bobasoka’s neat :) They hit all my depressed-Millennial buttons.

Headcanon by bullet-point isn’t really my style, but this is tumblr so ... tl;dr:

They recognize a lot in each other, even if they’re slow to admit it, if ever. Boba’s a cagey bastard and Ahsoka doesn’t ever like him enough to be emotionally honest.

They bump into each other during Ahsoka’s walkabout(s) ‘cause Coruscant’s Underworld ain’t big enough for the two of them. Without Slave-1, Boba couchsurfs at Nyx Okami’s garage, but he does his laundry at Rafa’s. He might even borrow the Martez’s new, useful friend for a job or two. 

Ahsoka eventually matures enough to be sensitive about her use of the Force on and around clones, and she definitely doesn’t use it around Boba. Definitely not during sex.

Boba is privately weirded out every time Ahsoka uses Mando slang she picked up off the clones or the Nite Owls.

Boba absolutely kills Cad Bane in that shoot-out, keeps the hat, and lets Ahsoka have it. She shoves it out the airlock and uses it for target practice. 

So many great smut flavours! Hatesex. Acquaintances with benefits. “You’re traumatized and touch-starved and you look just like him/them, and I know how to be gentle and what to do, so maybe we could … ?” They’re both privately comfortable with their bodies and sexuality, but Boba’s got trust issues a parsec long and Ahsoka’s lost confidence; it’s always an awkward affair, but desperation wins out.

They exchange comm codes every time they run into each other, which is kind of pointless because they both use burners.

Ahsoka hitches a ride on Slave-1 more than once. There really is only one bed, so it’s either sleep upright, sleep in a pokey prisoner hold, or sleep with him.

For a few years, Boba can pass as a last-generation clone — the ones that got sold off in bulk units to slavers before Kamino sunk another three years’ food, board, and training into them. Boba pretends he doesn’t notice, easy to really, since he tells himself his helmet is his face. But occasionally, when Ahsoka can convince him there’s profit in it, he agrees to play sleeper agent and assists in liberating a few here and there. 

They don’t talk about Aurra Sing.

When an Imp really crosses him, Boba passes on intel to Ahsoka to ruin their day.

Once, when they’re both super skint, Ahsoka volunteers to get handed in to some relatively minor and out-of-the-way Imperial garrison, so Boba can collect, bust her out, and split the pot with her. It’s the closest she ever comes to telling him “I trust you” — and when he brushes the idea aside, citing something about risk, it’s the closest he ever comes to telling her “I love you.”

Boba sees Inquisitors as muscling in on his game. There are so many lousy Force-users around nowadays, it should be easy pickings, but Inquisitors get privileged information. So he makes sport out of misdirecting them, especially from Ahsoka. 

When he pisses her off, Ahsoka fantasizes about Bo-Katan taking Boba down a peg or two while she watches :)))

Boba experienced Ahsoka’s heat once, secondhand through a cabin wall. He thought he was being clever by shooting Rex up with some Nevoota stim pollen, locking him in with Ahsoka, and hijacking their locked ships. Longest three days of his life, limping on broken hyperdrives and shared fuel stores to the nearest waystation to a soundtrack of violent lovemaking : \

Bounty hunters invariably bump into spies and agents because they work in the same areas. The agents pretend to be bounty hunters, eccentric business people, sex workers, or a range of other things. Sometimes each party knows all about the other, but it’s only polite not to mention it. This happens to Ahsoka and Boba A LOT, especially once she becomes Fulcrum; rebel cells and Imperials often want the same people. Occasionally they exchange fire. A couple times Boba gets imprisoned in Ahsoka’s own brig. Once, Boba blows her cover and definitely lives to regret it. 

(this essay was originally punctuated with pics, but replies with images won’t show up tumblr tags so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) 

[yarrowleef-babbles]

anyway I'm at the end of my impulsive grishaverse binge. The King of Scars duology was fun to read and I enjoyed it.. It was also dumb as hell. But honestly I am here for a good time not a...idk, sensible time. Look I’ve been reading almost nothing but warrior cats for over a decade, clearly my standards are low and I can handle a lot of nonsense and still enjoy the ride

 (but rly I still don’t know why the Darkling returning is a thing at all. He’s just a less intimidating shadow of his former self. He went out in a blaze of glory and however he goes out the second time is going to be underwhelming in comparison. I literally KEPT FORGETTING HE WAS AROUND during Rule of Wolves until his POV chapters came up because everything else felt like a more pressing threat, meanwhile he was just. There. Dicking around. I forgot. the *DARKLING* was around. That’s almost impressive. He just came across as so pathetic compared to the constantly looming threatening force he used to be. There were so many enemies and problems to face with the Fjerdans and everything else, why even add him? I feel like I would have rather the main problem just being fixing the mess he left behind, and have Nikolai figure out some other way to solve the fold and his demon problem, considering Lantsov kings being dumb is part of what enabled the Darkling for so long to begin with. He could fix the remaining scars of their biggest mistake before retiring the Lantsov line. Idk, that would require a rewrite since apparently whatever is happening with the Darkling is going to motivate the next plot, but all that junk about the magic tree just felt. Tacked on rather then woven in? if that makes sense? considering how often I kept forgetting about him I feel like it would have been better to just....Let Nikolai have the focus in fixing this issue, no Darkling meddling needed. Darkling stays dead while we struggle with the ghosts and damage he left behind, and he left A LOT behind, he doesn’t need to literally be here as well. I Do NOT want him to get any sort of redemption arc. he Does Not Need One. Can’t we just let him go I’ve had enough of this dude) 

Next point, I am surprisingly fine with Queen Zoya, I think the duology did a good job setting both of them up for this when I look back on it, although it did catch me by surprise at first. Her turning into a LITERAL DRAGON???

lissen, I Do Not understand the fantasy rules of this world at all sometimes, sometimes it feels like crazy things Just Happen when plot needs it, and its felt that way ever since Shadow and Bone (like last book with the Saint Sand Castle. JESUS CHRIST what was ANY OF THAT I feel like I got transported into a different series I kept putting down the book to whisper-yell ‘what the fuck is happening right now’ to myself, I STILL do not really understand how those people were alive, how their magic worked, or where they were, their explanation didn’t make sense)

 but look. Look, sometimes I also Do Not Care, dragon Zoya was SICK AS HELL. You can be as dumb as you want if you’re also sick and hell while doing it, thems the rules!!!

Neutral on the Nikolai/Zoya relationship. It’s fine, w/e. That’s my stance on most MC romances so shrug.

ANYWAY if I’m honest with myself the Crows are my main true emotional investment in this universe so everything else that happens with other characters is kind of a “yeah ok I guess this is happening now, whatever” one way or another. But my crows. I adore their banter. I loved their appearance, even if it was mostly unnecessary fanservice. I miss them all so much.

I have no interest in investing myself in book fandom culture (it seems like its just...not my scene) I’m vaguely aware that Hanne and Nina’s relationship is controversial. (i’m vaguely aware a lot about this duology is controversial but I don’t know everyone elses reasons as to why, though I have some guesses). And Listen, I can totally 100% sympathize if you are someone who was at all emotionally invested in the helnik ship, even though its been over a year in book time, from the reader perspective Matthias like, just died. And to have Nina immediately thrust into a new meet-cute so quickly while she’s literally standing over his fresh grave?? Yeah I get why that might sting a bit. 

I, however, am not rly a helnik stan, in fact the handling of Matthias and Nina’s relationship was by far my LEAST favorite part of the SoC duology, an awkward frustrating stain on books I otherwise adored so much. Their relationship started off making me wildly uncomfortable (I have a lot of complicated and frustrated feelings about Matthias in general, I think i’ll probably end up making an overly long post complaining about him later on) and though it got a bit better in Crooked Kingdom, it still only reached “I guess I will tolerate this” levels, and then he died before i could finish reconciling with it so. I'm just left frustrated by the whole thing.

For me, her relationship with Hanne felt way more natural and less uncomfortable, yes even if its less ~dramatic~ then almost dying together in the arctic.. (I always felt like she and Matthias were attracted to each other in SPITE of who they are rather then BECAUSE of who they are you know? i just don't love that as a basis for a relationship It’s...ugh look again Matthias is a whole can of worms for me, I can’t get into it right now. It just doesn’t do it for me. I never understood Nina’s attraction to Matthias, so being better then that is a low bar for me. ) I’m not head-over heels with Nina/Hanne or anything, but I like it just fine and I think Hanne is a neat character.

I didn’t think Nina could carry a storyline on her own, but I was surprisingly often more invested in her then Zoya and Nikolai? I was only neutral to her in six of crows, I liked her, but less then the others....... mainly again because she was So Wrapped Up In Matthias Whomst I Do Not Exactly Love that it was hard to appreciate her on her own. I’m glad I got the chance to focus on her and grow to like her as an individual. 

 Maybe her crow status gives her my bias, or honestly maybe I just like high risk spy stuff that felt like it had more immediate danger and stakes every moment to her rather then the more big-but-impersonal concern for a whole country and the exhausting political complications of ruling Ravka, which is what Zoya and Nikolai were often grappling with. I still liked that storyline, but my personal preference is with Nina’s type of stakes (thats probably just another reason why I liked the SoC duology most in the grishaverse)

Which aaaaaaaaaaah, leads me to what is for ME causing the most emotionally charged Issues with the end of this book!!!! It’s probably not the biggest issue objectively, but I am not feeling objective right now, I am feeling emotional! While I think the Darkling returning is dumb, I have less emotional investment in him and the characters surrounding him so that, even though I dont exactly like it, I don’t really mind that much what happens to him, I’m willing to follow the story down whatever nonsensical rabbit hole it wants to go

but WOW I am I NOT a fan of Nina suddenly being the queen of fjerda??????HUGELY MASSIVLEY NOT A FAN OF THAT MY DUDES.  And not just beause it came out of left field (which is most certainly did).

i mean people more articulate then me have already probably talked about why this is a miserable future for her, so. that bites.

idk, no end to this post, just lots of words